This is going to be a shoddy entry, as I'm on the way out the door. I haven't written much lately due to general pre-occupation.
Hannah is just getting more awesome! I love the shit out of her. She's got a toofy-peg and is starting to not like men she isn't used to, like the guy that owns the store near my house. She gets all red and tries not to cry. hehe, poor thing.
Cory is doing well, aside from some soreness in his chest and back. Well, what do you expect? We, as a whole, are doing great. [lawl, i just jinxed that, didn't I?] I think his heart attack really put things in perspective for the both of us..it was a blessing.
and Finallllllllllllly, we are going to be moving in October. We found a place a few streets over in the Garden District that will work well for us. yippie!
I found a bag of clothing I bought while I was [just barely] pregnant. A lot of it, I never got to wear, due to my quickly expanding lower half. I just tripled my wardrobe and it didn't cost a penny! The best part is that the clothes actually fit me better than they ever did.
Also, I was thinking: This is the prime of my life. I have my mom, my siblings, my beautiful child, my lover[s], my friends, and some of us are even blessed enough to have at least one grandparent. So much love in our lives..and it won't last forever. I've got to savour it, while it lasts.
1. Love Hannah's face off 2. Call water company 3. Call medicaid 4. Arrange a ride to wherever it is that people go pay fines 5. Laundry 6. Find someone to help me go pick up an air conditioner for Hanner's room 6. Everything else under the fucking sun
"The parasitic wasp uses a venom injected directly into a cockroach's brain to inhibit its victim's free will and its motivation to walk. Unable to fight back, the "zombie" cockroach can be pulled into the wasp's underground lair, where an egg is laid in its abdomen. The larva later hatches and eats the still living but incapacitated cockroach from the inside out."
Six thirty a.m. is just a tiny bit past my threshold for waking up. (O_o)
I took Driver's Ed yesterday! Six hours of instruction for a 5 minute test..
I'm considering talking to a doctor about getting put on some kind of sleep-aid. I sleep like shit. The issue isn't really falling asleep; it's staying that way. I guess I wake up about..10-15 times a night, with just a touch of anxiety [was that the baby fussing? when it never, ever is. because she rules.] and then i immediately and easily go back to sleep. Still, that many interruptions makes for crappo rest, and groggy days. I've heard a lot of negative things about sleeping medicines, but maybe there is something a bit less intense out there for me. 'Cos man, I be tired.
My new work schedule began last week. It allows me one baby-free [thursday] evening per week. That doesn't sound like a lot, but it's plenty. I miss her so badly when I don't see her for almost 2 days. By friday evening, I'm practically jumping out of my skin to see her again. Anyway, today I work, and then I go get a daddyday present [bwahaha].
At times, the amount of things to be grateful for becomes overwhelming..just an afterthought. Also, the sound of cicadas makes me a kid again.
Yesterday, I bled about 2-3 cups of menstrual blood in less than an hour. I was convinced I was hemmoraghing..but the doctor said it was due to 'excessive stress'..basically the 'period from hell'. Now, I already have bad, painful, heavy periods..but this was just grotesque. I bled through 2 'super-plus' tampons in less than twenty minutes. and when I say 'bled through', I mean, bled through the tampon, and my pants, and it was running down my legs. I'm not terribly convinced that it was just a 'bad period'..but it wasn't a miscarriage, and they couldn't find anything else out of the ordinary, aside from my ever-present and ever-growing ovarian cyst.
I've had cysts rupture before..I'd say 5 or 6 in the course of the last ten years. It's horribly painful..comparable to labour, actually, and I did bleed pretty badly afterward...but it was only about double what I normally would have bled, and it was short-lived.
The weird thing is, this recent bloody escapade didn't hurt. I didn't even know it was happening, until I felt the wetness and thought I'd forgotten to put a tampon in. And the sheer amount of blood was ..ten times as much as a cyst of mine has ever caused. I'm not exaggerating..it was running out of me..along with a LOT of gigantic clots that were the size of golfballs. I was like "oh, SHIT. Ohshitohshitohshit"
That's what especially concerned me; the LACK of pain..and the fact that you'd have thought someone had gotten brutally murdered in the bathroom at work and the one at my house.
I do need to get a second opinion..In the past couple of days, I've read about fibroid tumors and ovarian cysts and cancer and polyps causing excess bleeding..but the only thing that I've found that causes THIS MUCH excess bleeding during menstruation has been fibroids or endymetriosis. Except I don't have any of the other symptoms that go along with those two things.
When my mother was about my age, she had to have a D&C, because she was having similar problems. They didn't really give her a good REASON..they just kinda scraped her out. I guess, I'm going to see if this happens again; if it does, I'm getting a second opinion.
I really need to learn how to relax. I never really 'relax' unless I'm fast alseep..and sometimes, not even then. I know this, because I often wake up with tense shoulders. I'm always on "GO" mode. 123 GO! this and 123 GO! that. All the while, life passes me by, doesn't it?
I should also be nicer in general. It's difficult..because people will inevitably try to take advantage/become psychic parasites/do something totally retarded. But, still. Nice is good.
