Flip Schultz’s Sept. 2008 blog from www.FlipIsFunny.com
9/28/08 OK, so my computer or my website has been fucked up lately so I'm not able to upload anything new to my site. So this blog is being written on Sept. 28, but I don't know when it'll be on the actual site...could be tonight, could be next year. Who knows?
So right now I am backstage the City Theatre in Lahti for the last show of the tour. I can't believe it's just about over. It's gone by so fucking fast.
Oh, before I continue I have to say big thanks to the people of Espoo and Turku; I had such fun at the shows. Espoo was especially fun because it was in a very intimate venue. It was like a college cafeteria and it was great. I mean I love playing the theaters and big clubs too, but this kinda felt more loose; less pressure if that makes any sense. And the crowds were young and really fun. They gave off such great energy because the venue was so intimate.
Again, EVERY crowd has been amazing, I'm not playing favorites with Espoo, but the venue was a nice change of pace for me.
Anyway, it's about one hour before showtime and I can't wait for the show to begin. I'm stating to get that antsy feeling because I know this is the last one and then tomorrow I get to go home. That I'm looking forward to...the 12 hours of flying, that I'm not looking forward to.
You want to know how insane I am? I have a friend picking me up at the airport in LA, and right after we drop my shit off at my apartment, we're going to do an open mike night. Yes, I'm going to do some open mike comedy after doing a 2 week Finland tour and flying 12 hours.
Why you may ask? Because I'm out of my mind...and I want to see how some jokes I wrote out here might translate back in the US.
On a sidenote, I have to also give thanks to the other comics on the tour: Ismo Leikola and Illari Johanssen...they are incredibly funny and really cool guys.
Actually a few days ago in Turku they had a comedy festival (of which I was a performer..thank you) and our show was done completely in English. It was really cool because I could finally hear what Ismo and Illari were saying for the past week. That show was really fun too.
I video taped a few shows so I'm going to try to upload some clips when I get back home.
I'm really fucking tired. I'm sure when the show starts the adrenaline will start to flow and I'll be fine, it's just for right now, I'm pooped.
What's different about this tour and last years' tour is that last year, with the exception of London and Rykjavik, we had 4-6 shows in each town and usually some down time. Which means we were in one place for a few days at least. On this tour, we've been moving almost everyday. We've toured for 10 days and had only 2 times where I was in the same hotel room for 2 days. Other than that, I've checked in...unpacked...eaten...did my show...went back to the hotel and slept...and then the next morning I'd repack...check out and drive to the next town.
OH, big props to Antti, the tour promoter, for putting this whole thing together and doing ALL of the driving...even when he would rather have slept longer.
Well my friends, I am going to get myself pumped up a bit and walk around the theater. Again, kiitos (Finnish for 'thanks') to everyone out here for thier love support. I have a feeling I'll be seeing you all again very soon. :)
9/25/08 I can't talk because I'm fucking exhausted, but I just had to say THANK YOU to the people of Espoo for one of the most amazing shows I've ever been a part of ! More about that tomorrow....dreamy time.
9/24/08 Greetings all, I'm just sitting in the lobby of my hotel in Helsinki; just waiting to get picked up and drive to Tampere where we have 2 shows tonight.
I've had the last two days off, so I've been relaxing, writing and doing some karaoke. Actually last night was a lot of fun. Myself, some guys from the tour, some of their friends a few of my facebook buddies did some karaoke and it was a blast. Pictures and video soon to be uploaded.
That's what's so cool about the internet; as much as I hate that as a society we're regressing socially, I love that things like MySpace and Facebookk bring people together.
Anyway, last night I did 4 new karaoke songs. I never tried them before and to my surprise (and to those around me) they sounded really good. I never thought I had a good singing voice mainly because everyone used to tell me I have a bad singing voice. But everyone last night was telling me that I sang really well. Not just those in our party, but complete strangers.
Hm...maybe I should give up comedy and become a singer? Nah...
Oh, this was really cool...on Monday I was at the local mall doing some writing and this kid passed by, stopped and then said to me, "Are you Flip Schultz?" "Yes." "Oh man, I saw your show in Helsinki, you are great."
I swear that never happens to me in the states...not yet anyway. Hehehehe.... I mean I don't do comedy to get recognized on the street; I just love doing comedy, period. But I always felt that being recognized is a way to know that you're getting famous and successful; and I guess that when the kid recognized me, it made me feel that I'm getting that point.
So incredibly bizarre yet exciting as all hell.
So for the past hour or so I've been uploading new clips to the Audio Page, check'em out. There are six new clips from my show in Helsinki and a prank call that I did for a radio station in Helsinki. It was to this guy who was on the Finnish version of "Big Brother". He was a good sport...surprisingly. All I have to say is the call included chats about anal sex.
OK, I'm going to shut down the ol' laptop and get ready to go. Hope to see some of you on the last half of my tour...well, those of you in Finland. Anyone else I don't expect to see you here.
...although that would be an amazing show of support.
OH!!! I added a new thing to the Merchadise Page; you can now digitally buy my CDs! Right now most of them are through CD Baby (with the exception of "Ribbed For Your Pleasure") but soon they'll all be through iTunes. Just thought you'd like to know. That's all. Bye.
9/21/08 Moi everyone...moi is Finnish for "hi". I am writing you now from my hotel room in Oulu; just about to leave for my show here. We have one show at 6:30; not really a good time for comedy, but it should be fun.
So far everything is really great. I'll be honest, my first show in Pori felt really shitty to me. Despite the other comics telling me that it was fine, I know what I'm capable of and that was not it. I'm sure the crowd enjoyed it, but I really felt bad for giving a subpar show.
The next night was Helsinki...wow! Just wow! You guys were amazing; I'm still grinning from that show. I actually got a standing ovation when I walked out on stage! How insane is that!? The whole set just flowed and I truly enjoyed myself. And there were over 1100 people. Yeah...1100! Can you say "unreal"? I know I did.
Next year I think we're going to save Helsinki for the last show. No offense to any other city or venue, it's just the venue in Helsinki (The Hall of Culture) is huge and the energy is top notch.
Last night we had two shows in Jyväskylä and they were pretty good. I think, again, I feel a litte short on the first show. I actually got distracted by some talking in the audience and I let it get to me. That's a rookie mistake. The late show I felt more together.
Another reason I think I've been a little off with some shows is that my body was still getting used to the time shift. Like right now it's 5:45 PM, but in LA it's 7:45 AM. So I've been dealing with that. Though last night I passed out hard when I got to my hotel and I woke up feeling completely refreshed, so I think I'm all good now...of course in a week I'll be going back to LA and I'm sure it'll take me a few days to get back on schedule there.
What's fun about the tour so far is that I'm re-discovering some old jokes that I'm using. For instance, there's this joke I wrote about the 2000 election. I had forgotten about it until I was going through some notes and realized that I could use it for this election. Suddenly I've got a new joke again that gets an applause break. Yay me!
But I've got to say that this whole experience is just amazing. Sometimes I forget that I'm really here right now. I mean I'm in Finland doing my own fucking tour! I can't put into words how that affects me not only as a performer, but as a person. It's so incredible. Added to that the fact that so many amazing people are coming to my shows and supporting me. You guys have truly made me feel unbelievable. You've made me feel welcome. Like I'm that strange foriegn exchange student and you've invited me to the cool party. :)
Well I've got to get going; time to go do my show. I hope you guys are smiling and I'll talk to you later.
Moi-moi...that means g'bye. Duh...
Oh, I posted a little video clip of me being interviewed at a Finnish radio station: Finnish Radio Interview
9/18/08 Once again it's happened...I'm all fucked up as far as my body-clock in concerned and it's 2:30 AM and I'm awake.
FUCK!!!!
Not going to blog much; I want to try and get back to sleep...but this is so frustrating. I remember this happening last time I was here and it took me a few days to get on track.
I just thought I'd be alright this time since I didn't sleep at all on my flight over here and completely passed out at about 10:30 PM here. I figured I'd sleep until at least 8:00 or so. Oh well...
But I'm here in Finland! And my luggage (which was lost for a little bit) is here with me too. Yay luggage.
OK, time to go back to sleep...wish me luck.
I'll be posting some pics and hopefully videos soon enough my friends; keep an eye out.
9/16/08 Well, it's time people! I can't believe the day is here...that's right, it's my hamster's birthday!!!
Every wish Harvey a happy birthday.
...I'm kidding of course, today is the day I leave for Finland on my tour. Besides, we all know Harvey's birthday is in July.
Anyway, I'm at the airport right now in the Business Class lounge...that's right, only the best for me. Actually, I NEVER get to fly business class, so this is a really amazing treat for me. But I'm sitting here on my laptop, sipping some coffee and trying to keep my excitment inside so I don't just yell at the top of my lungs, "I'm going to tour Finland!" I think someone might think I'm a terrorist and that was just code for "I'm going to blow up the plane!" Which it's not.
I got here really early and I'm glad I did. The line wasn't that long but there was a hold up at check in and if I would've gotten here any later the line might've been worse, the hold up might not have been able to work out and I might've missed my flight. At least now I know it's all good.
I was hoping to get more DVDs in my hands before I left so I could bring them, but alas they did not arrive before I left. But don't worry, if (God forbid) I run out of merchandise before this tour is over, you can still order them off of the Merchandise Page.
I'll be honest, right now the reality hasn't really settled in yet. I think when I actually land in Paris (my layover) and see the town and the Eiffel Tower...THEN I think it'll settle in as real. This is what happened to me last year when I toured. So I guess that's just my M.O.
I'd like to say something to all of my friends in Norway and Sweden:
I want to thank you guys for all of your emails asking when I'm coming back to see you. I am in the process of doing that right now. Nothing is final, but there is work going towards it. Trust me, I want to see you just as bad. :)
So last night I did 3 spots all over town working on some new bits for the tour. Actually they're older bits that I stopped doing or never really worked on. But after last night, I think I have a good 5-8 new minutes! So keep a look out for it. I love it when that happens; when I find some new laughs or find out that an old joke still works. Very satisfying.
OK kids, I'm going to get going. Wish me luck!
...ah, fuck luck. Wish me fun. :P
Talk to you later.
9/11/08 So I'm getting ready for my Finland tour...less than a week away.
I can't fucking believe it's here already. Honestly, it isn't really hitting me yet. I mean I know that I'm going and I know that it's less than a week away...but the actual feeling isn't hitting me yet. I guess I'm just more amazed at how fast time has seemed to go.
The promoter approached me about this last year when I was in Finland...we finally got the ball rolling earlier this year...got everything finalized in April and announced it a few days later. So that was April...April! Five months ago! And now it's here! It hardly seems like any time has gone by.
Of course if I really think about it, there have been a lot of things going on since then that can help me put it all in perspective. The main thing is that I got my DVD all done. I'm still waiting for the advanced copies so I can bring them with me to Finland.
I'm supposed to have them here by Saturday which leaves me a few days to get them all ready to take with me. Let's hope they get here.
So, on a completely different note...I'm sure I'm not the only one who thinks about where they were 7 years ago today. 9/11...seriously, the day the world changed. Completely.
And to be honest, I think that we're all still pretty fucked. I really hope that Obama wins.
I don't usually get political on here, but I will be sick if McCain actually pulls this off. I mean it; just sick and full of depression. He is only going to continue what Bush has done and that is to drive us as a country into the toilet with every aspect of his presidency. It's just awful and sickening.
I'm not saying Obama is the second coming of Jesus or anything...wait, I'm Jewish...OK, let me rephrase that. I'm not saying that Obama is the second coming of Woody Allen or anything, I'm just saying that he is fresh, different and seems to truly have a vision of how to make this country great again.
It's like when Clinton was running; he was fresh, new, young and charming as all hell. And I'm not saying Clinton was perfect, but didn't the country kinda turn around for the better? Didn't he create a national surplus? Sure, he got a blowjob and lied to his wife about it...but what's more American than that!?
Wow, did I just do a Clinton joke? Sorry.
Anyways, I hope that enough of this country doesn't get wrapped up with Palin that they lose sight of what's wrong with everything.
To me Palin is just a distraction. She's an unproven politician with hypocritical points of views. But (and I don't want to sound sexist) it seems that because she's a woman, she's garnering all of Hillary's supporters...just because of that one thing.
She's like the really hot assistant to the magician. You know, while she's on stage looking good, being entertaining ("pitball and soccer mom...lipstick! Ha!), the Great McCain is pulling the rabbit out of a box and no one sees it.
He's not a new leader, he's a bullshit artist with a new way to distract from the issues.
Again, this is just my opinion and you have every right to disagree...but this is also my blog. So nah-nee-nah-nee-boo-boo. :)
OK, I'm done with my political rant, time to go.
Let's just all pray that either way this election goes, we get this country back on the path to healing.
...great, now I sound like some shitty after school special.
9/5/08 OK, I have to blog about this really quickly.
So if you read yesterday's blog, you know what happened when I went to that Obama rally. Well, on my facebook page I wrote my status as:
"Flip Schultz just got hosed with water by a b*tch at an Obama rally. Probably a f**king Republican"
A little bit of venting, and a little bit of humor. Right? Right.
So today I get a facebook message from "Allison Shapiro" (incidentally, there was no picture and no way to write "her" back) and here's what the message read:
"...Wow, you really are as ignorant and gay as you look, aren't you? Keep you're assinine political comments to yourself. Hussein is as qualified to be President as you are to host the Academy Awards. Good thing you're a no-one, from no-where, whose opinion doesn't matter. At the end of the day you are: ugly, un-talented, un-successful, un-employed, single, sad and lonely. A more effeminine fag Jew weeble never existed. May a thousand tumors rain upon you. You deserve it :)"
Seriously? You're going to go there?
Honestly, this doesn't hurt me, or make me angry; it just makes me laugh.
I think I mentioned this in a previous blog when someone wrote something horribly negative about me (yes, there are those people), but why in the hell would you take the time to write something like that? Why? What good is it going to do?
Now granted, I wrote something on my facebook page that people might be offended by or get angry about. But it's political. Allison, if you want to discuss my post, write me and let's discuss politics. What you wrote to me was an attack on my comedy (which you have every right to not like) and to say, "A more effeminine fag Jew weeble never existed. May a thousand tumors rain upon you. You deserve it."
Well, tell me if I'm wrong, but that is just mean, hateful and racist. Nowhere in your message dear Allison, did you try to talk politics or tell me that I was wrong to lump all Republicans in the same group as the bitch who sparyed us with water. You just spewed forth hate and ignorance...and a truly unfunny insult. I mean "tumors", never a good comedy subject.
Now herpies or anal-warts, granted not as extreme, but a helluva lot more humorous.
I doubt dear Ms. Shapiro will ever read this (since, again, she was too cowardess to leave a way to respond) but if she ever does, just know that your words didn't affect me or my political opinion...they just made me laugh and gave me a nice thing to blog about.
The truth is, tomorrow I'll be living a great life, doing the job that I love to do and making a very comfortable living. But mainly being happy with who I am and what I feel. You, on the other hand, will be sitting somewhere (most likely alone) with your hatred, ignorance, and dark soul and you'll probably go on to youtube and trash an Obama speech. I'm sure that will fill you with some kind of pride, but in the long run, you're just sad and racist.
PS-I just changed my facebook status to: "Flip Schultz is laughing at Allison Shapiro".
9/4/08 I feel like a 60s radical right now.
My buddy and I just got back from attending an Obama rally. They opened up his southern California campaign headquarters literally 5 blocks from my apartment and today was the opening so we decided to walk there.
Apparently they only had 150 RSVPs and over (I'd guess) 500 people showed up. So they moved it from inside the offices to the parking log behind the building.
Now this is in a residential area and there were a lot of people waiting for the lot to open up and some of us were hanging out by an apartment building. All of a sudden this bitch (white and Republican I'm sure) comes storming out, "This is private property! Get off my property!" And we were like, "Calm down. Don't be so rude." And she yelled, "I'm going to call the police!" And we're like, "Call them!"
Seriously, what is she going to say, "Police, there are 500 Democrats on my property! Help!"
So she storms back into her building...incidentally, I don't even know if she owned the building, or just lived there. Not 5 minutes later she appears on her balcony and proceeds to turn on her hose and spray everyone with water! Seriously!
What the fuck is that about? Were we hurting her? Were we destroying property or inciting a riot?
No, we were listening to speakers and showing support for a politician.
So everyone started booing and she scurried back into her fortress of solitude.
But I gotta tell ya; it made me feel somewhat impowered. I mean just standing there to be a part of history and then to have someone try and distrupt that, while still standing there. Pretty fucking cool.
We stayed a bit longer but after a while we couldn't hear shit (we were in the back) and it was getting really crowded.
So before it got too out of hand, we left.
By "too out of hand", I mean the cops might've shown up. And standing my ground while getting sprayed with water is one thing, but getting thrown in the slammer for any reason is quite another.
Not that I could think of what they'd charge us with, but still, they might come up with something.
I'm never been really political, but I can't help but feel lucky to be alive during such a historic moment in our country's history. This must be what it felt like to be there when Martin Luther King spoke, or to see Kennedy get elected. Such momentous moments.
I know Obama does have some ideas that I'm not crazy about (raising taxes, really?) but in the long run, I truly feel that he'll be able to turn this country back toward what it initally stood for.
I mean how fucked up is our country's reputation around the world. Well, maybe more Bush than America in particular, but still, it's not pretty.
When I toured Europe last year, I did this one joke where I talk about how screwed up this world is, and then I say, "But it's almost over, one more year and he's out." And EVERY crowd erupted into applause. No boos, no hisses, not even a person just sitting there....EVERYONE cheered. It was interesting.
I mean I liked the applause, but I'd rather have a President that I could be proud of. A President who, if I said, "And how about that Bush?" and an audience in a foriegn country gave that same ovation. That would be fantastic.
I watched a little of Palin's speech last night at the RNC...it's amazing that she was able to breath with all of that bullshit that was coming out of her mouth.
And my 2 cents about her daughter being pregnant is this...I've been to Alaska 3 times. There's really nothing to do there but drink and fuck. I'm surprised the girl last to 16 before getting knocked up. :)
OK, that was joke...kinda. But in all seriousness, it's a family issue and shouldn't reflect her political stance. I hope the Democrats don't really start using that as a platform against Palin. I'm sure the daughter feels awful enough and doesn't need the whole world against her as well.
Now the Democrats should use all the facts about her politically to bring her down.
OK, enough of my stupid rant, I'm going to check my Facebook and head on out to join some friends at a bar.
Later!
9/2/08 OK, had some things on my mind today.
Isn't it natural to think that as you grow older, your habits, inhabitions and troubles that you had as a younger person would go away? I mean you learn lessons as you grow older and with those lessons problems are solved. Right? I thought so too.
But it seems that now problems that I've had all of my life are still here. Why? Seriously, why?
I have things going on in my brain that I've had going on since I was a wee tyke, and they're still there. Why???
Is this shit going to stay with me my whole life?
Or maybe it's still here because I'm allowing it to be.
Why are we such slaves to our thoughts and emotions. Wow, that was actually a contridiction now that I think about it. Because thought (in most cases) equals logic, and logic is the exact opposite of emotion. But I guess we can be slaves to both of them. I think I was imagining the two of them co-existing harmoniously...which is very tough.
Where logic is calm and rational, emotion is quick and unjustifiable in its thinking. I just wish my logic would over-power my emotion.
That's one of the big drawbacks about being a comedian; over-active imaginations. See my mind is trained to think a lot and to constantly be working, which is good when working on jokes, or writing scripts and whatnot. But when I don't have anything work related to think about, my mind doesn't care. It just keeps on thinking at full speed. And since my mind is used to thinking about things in a "out of the ordinary" way, it does so with every thought I have.
If I'm thinking about a joke about "The Dark Knight", my mind thinks about every aspect of that movie (Batman, Joker, Heath Ledger dying, etc) and I come up with a joke. But my mind explored a lot of different angles to get there.
Well, when I'm thinking of just normal things, for example; getting my car washed. Instead of just thinking about where to go, or what kind of wash to get, I start to think what if I never washed my car again. How much dust and dirt would get on it? Would friends stop hanging out with me because of it? And if they stopped hanging out with me because of that, were they really my friends to begin with? As a matter of fact, I bet they're all my friends because of my car! This is all an elaborate plan to get me to drive them places in my kick ass, clean car! Well fuck that! I'll wash my car but I'm never talking to my friends again!
I know that sounds far-fetched, but my mind can go to those bizarre and unreal places.
I remember one time (a long time ago...in a galaxy...seriously, it was about 9 years ago) I was dating this incredibly beautiful woman and I just couldn't grasp the concept that she liked me. Or why she liked me. (Yes, self-confidence issues were growing out of my ass) And I actually thought that she might be part of a cult and was going to try and convert me to her religion.
I swear to God, that's a true story.
I'm not sure exactly what the reason is that I do this.
Is is a lack of self-confidence, or a more sense of self-awareness, or I'm just out of my fucking mind....well, I guess that's a given.
I just need to rewire my brain; to think more logically and not be so quick to jump to emotion. I need to understand that emotion and imagination are good but only for half of the time. I need to stay grounded the rest of the time.
OK, I'm babbling.
Change of subject, the new DVD is being produced as we speak! I'm soooo fucking excited.
I should have them in my hands just before I go to Finland.
Flip Schultz’s new DVD is available now!...plus some other crap
Hello everyone, Flipper here just giving you all a heads up on some cool stuff going on at FlipSchultz. com.
First of all, the new DVD, "Getting Them On The Chain" is now available to purchase!!! That's right kids, this 2 disc DVD set comes with an hour of stand up (plus bonus footage) AND a DVD documentary (or glorified home movie) of my tour of Europe in 2007 with Pablo Francisco. And that too comes with bonus footage. Look at all the stuff I'm giving to you. Why you ask? Just 'cause I like ya.
And along with the new DVD, all of my CDs are now available for digital downloading. Right now 2 of the CDs are available through iTunes and the other 2 are available through CD Baby. Pretty soon all 4 of them will be on iTunes, so be patient. But in the meantime kiddies, get'em any way you can.
I have to take this time to thank all of my new Finnish friends who came out to support me on my recent tour of Finland. I had an amazing time meeting all of you and seeing a lot more of the country than I did the year before...just next time, do something about the weather. And I say next time because I'm pretty sure there's going to one...and I have a feeling that I'm going to return to see my friends in Sweden and Norway as well. Aw yeah...
I'll be uploading some videos and pictures soon, but in the meantime you can listen to some audio clips that I recorded at the Helsinki show.
Now for my friends in the USA, fear not, my touring state-side hasn't stopped either. I'm about to start doing a lot of college shows in the Northeast, but there are still some club dates on the books. Remember to always check the "tour page" for updates.
OK, just double checking to make sure I didn't miss anything, lemme check my list:
Announce the release of the new DVD...CHECK! Mention that all of my CDs are available for digital download...CHECK! Remind my friends that there are new audio clips on the site from my Helsinki show...CHECK! Thank everyone in Finland and drop hints about a possible tour next year of Scandinavia...CHECK! Tell everyone state-side that I will be touring here too...CHECK! Wish all of my Jewish brothers and sisters a happy new year...OH YEAH!
Happy Rosh Hashana to my Hebros out there.
OK kids, that's about it. Again, I thank each and every one of you for your constant support and love. It really means so much to me, you have no idea. :)
PS-If you haven't already, go out and buy or rent the Jamie Kennedy documentary, "Heckler". Not only is it really funny and informative...I'm in it! Just a little clip in the movie, but look for me in the bonus footage!
Currently
listening
:
Way to Normal
By
Ben Folds
Release date: 2008-09-30
Flip Schultz’s Aug. 2008 Blog from www.FlipIsFunny.com
Current mood: groggy
8/28/08 Tonight is a night that makes me giddy about being a comedian in LA.
Well first of all, I did a video podcast for Comics on Comics. Basically there were 5 of us talking about comic books and comic book movies; that's the jist. And as much of a nerd as I am, I'm not into comic books. But I think I held my own with these guys.
One of the guys that was there created Wolverine; that was fucking cool!
So after that I went over to the Improv, had some dinner and was talking with some friends, when who should walk in...Adam Sandler! Then Allen Covert...Then Judd Apatow! Then Dane Cook! Then Damon Wayans!
It was a cavalcade of comedic coolness.
Dane and Adam went up right after each other and it was really cool.
I think Adam is preparing for a new movie about stand-up comedy; it's really cool.
Anyway, it just felt so amazing to be there and be a part of this night.
So I sent my DVD to be duplicated today. I'm so excited and relieved to have it done...of course I'll still be worried until I have the disk in my hands and will be able to make sure it came out alright.
I've been having trouble getting the actual footage to look good; but as of yesterday I think I solved it. I watched each disk (remember, there are 2 disks) and they both played really well. With the exception of one of the bonus tracks; it looks like shit and there's nothing could do about it. Sorry in advance. But the important content looked fine.
Again, I'm just praying that it duplicates just as well.
So today I uploaded 5 new clips from the DVD. Three stand up clips and two clips from the documentary. You can check them out on the Video Clips page.
I also set up a "pre-oreder" section of the Buy Stuff page.
I'm really proud of it and I hope you guys will like it.
Anyway, I'm tired so I'm calling it a night. Night all.
8/23/08 I gotta tell ya, a great night's sleep is the best thing, isn't it?
It took a little while for me fall asleep last night; my mind seemed to be on overdrive. Just couldn't shut it down. But once I did fall asleep, I slept for like 8 hours and it was wonderful. I didn't want to wake up.
Wow, that sounded morbid.
Anyway, the show last night was phenomenal. I'll be honest, I didn't think I was going to do well since I was on (literally) 3 hours of sleep. Coupled with that, I find out when I get there that I am the first comedian of the school year that they're bringing in, so I have to do well to make sure the students come to more campus activity programs.
No pressure.
So I get up there and right from the get-go, it was great. Those guys were great! At the end of the show, I got me a standing ovation!
I know!
I didn't even pander to the crowd to get it, they just stood up. Wow! Wow! Wow!
Nothing beats that feeling, and also puts everything in perspective.
Actually, on my new DVD, there's a clip of me getting a standing-o in Helsinki. I still remember that moment as well...probably because there were 1400 people standing. :)
Just moments like those make me really feel like I'm doing the right thing with my life. Not that I have too many doubts anymore, but it's still that reinforcment, ya know?
So now I'm sitting in the airport in Albany, waiting for my flight. It's going to be another day of traveling, but at least I'm doing it on a good night's sleep this time.
Airports always makes me feel a little weird. Can't explain it. Not weird in a bad way; just weird. Sometimes good, sometimes bad. For example, there's a little kid sitting next to be in the terminal who's yelling; that's a bad weird. But then, there's a couple holding hands and kissing; that's a good weird.
I mean I'm in a room surrounded by different people, living different lives, going to different places, for different reasons. It's really one of the only places where you can sit and be surrounded by different experiences happening all at once. And you can observe them.
Kind of like a people zoo.
I guess since my job is to take different aspects of society and talk about it, I'm more aware of people and their behaviors.
Even though my act isn't quite a brilliant commentary of social behaviors, I still think of myself as an astute observer.
I like seeing older people and younger people sitting next to each other. You can kind of see the younger people looking at the old people and thinking, "Wow, they're old. I'm never going to be that old", and the old people looking at the young people thinking, "Was I ever that young?"
I remember things about being younger, but it does feel like I was such a different person. I mean I was a different person when it comes to how I think of myself and how I carry myself. But I mean literally, a different person. It's hard to remember a time when I wasn't doing comedy.
This year will mark my 16th anniversary of doing comedy, and my 11th anniversary of being a "full-time comedian". By full-time, I mean I haven't had "a real job" in 11 years. Before that I had day jobs and was only doing comedy as ametuer; an open-miker. So for almost half of my life, I've been doing comedy, and now it's hard to remember my life before it.
Do you guys feel that way? Maybe not about your job, but let's say you've been married for so long that you forget what it's like to be single (it sucks by the way) or maybe you have kids and forgot what it's like to have a life. Ha-ha-ha...kidding.
Oy, I'm rambling.
Well, I think I'm going to watch a movie while I'm waiting, so I bid you all adeau...and a don't.
That was stupid. See ya back on the west coast.
8/22/08 Didja see it? Didja? Didja? Didja????
What am I talking about? You silly goose, I'm talking about my appearance on The Gong Show last night. I was really thrilled with the way it turned out. They edited it well and even kept in some of the banter I had with Dave Attell and Andy Dick.
What!? You missed it!? Well, because I'm such a great guy, I'll put it right here:
..
Not bad, huh? And when you're done with that, watch this little interview the did with "us".
..
Anyway, I'm at the airport...yes, again. I'm flying to Albany, driving to Cobleskill where I have a show at a college. Then I fly back to LA tomorrow.
Right now it's 6:15 am; I've been up since 4:15 and I didn't fall asleep until 1:30 or so. Fun, no? No. But doing comedy is fun, so that's why I bust my ass on two hours of sleep.
Oh well. We're going to be boarding in a few minutes, so I'm going to get going. See ya!
8/18/08 I hate flight delays, don't you? I'm sitting here in Vegas waiting for my flight back to LA...and low & behold, it's delayed an hour. And I got here 2 hours early; oy.
Just a sidenote, I was just on facebook, chatting with someone from Scandinavia, and then asked if this was the "real Flip" or just someone pretending to be me. Who the fuck would want to pretend to be me? That's so funny.
Anyway, so I'm bored and just killing time. God bless free airport wireless.
I'm feeling a bit...oh, what's the word?...concerned right now. Something is going on in my life and it's not a big thing (at least I hope not), but for some stupid reason, I'm making it out to be a big thing. I need to learn to fix that about myself.
A big problem of mine is that I can be very impatient; very much Veruca Salt. Not the band, but the character from Willy Wonka.... You know, "I want it now!" So because this thing that I'd like hasn't happened yet, it's affecting me so much.
But I guess the trick is to know that you can't rush things; that things will happen if and when they're supposed to happen.
Just keep reminding myself that.
I'm also kinda stressing about my new DVD. I want to have them all done and ready in time for my trip to Finland...which is in less than a month! Where does the time go, huh? The DVD is done as far as editing...it's just that the quality of the video is a little sketchy; I think it has something to do with the program I'm using to export it. I need to work on that.
And the graphics still need to be done. Hey, when life isn't stressful, it's boring, right? Right.
Well, I'm going to get some coffee....an hour and a half and counting...oy.
Viva Las Vegas...just not the airport.
8/17/08 Greetings from Vegas everyone. What a fun weekend I just had.
For those who don't follow my blog...are there such people...I got a side job writing for Terry Fator. I've pretty been writing jokes from my apartment, and they've been used and I've gotten paid. Well this weekend they flew me and two other writers (Matt Vogl and Todd Jordan) into Vegas to watch Terry's show and write some more...and it was so much fucking fun!
First of all, Terry's a great guy. Just so cool and down to earth, and completely focused on this show and his fans. He's really an inspiration as far as how he got his big break and as a showman, he's second to none. His show, by the way, FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC! Just unbelievable.
Anyway, we all spend the past two days watching and writing and just laughing. OH, and get this, yesterday Fred Willard came onstage and did a quick bit with him...and we all helped write the bit with Fred! That was one of the coolest things I've ever got to do.
So today we all pitched ideas for Terry and he liked a lot of them...without patting myself on the back too hard; he liked all of my ideas. :) OK, ego moment over. So tonight he tried about 10 jokes that we pitched and they all worked! All of them! How fucking great is that?
This is such a fun job. I mean I am getting paid to write jokes; not just to write them, but to watch a great show and write them.
I know I've done this for Pablo, Jamie and Dana...but this is a completely different animal. This is a ventriloquist and one of the biggest new acts of Vegas. And son of a bitch, he's using my jokes and they're working!
My journey in life is going in such a wonderful direction now. I'm walking down paths that I could never forsee myself walking down.
I'm always going to be a performer; always. I love it, period. As a matter of fact, they wanted us to be here for his next round of shows next month, but they start at the same time as my tour of Finland. And of course I'm not going to cancel that...hehehe.
But as I was saying, creatively my life and career are reaching places that I didn't know they ever would or could. And what makes me really giddy (yes, I said giddy) is that so many great actors and comics started as (or started to get famous) as writers. Who knows where this could lead to?
And as I said already, it's a great challenge to write jokes in a Vegas show format as opposed to stand up.
I'm really beaming right now...just picture me smiling broadly. Ya got it? Good.
Oh, fyi, I will be on The Gong Show this Thursday, Aug. 21. Set the Tivos...I'd say "set the VCRs", but let's be honest; it's not 1998 anymore, now is it?
OK kids, I'm off to lose some money to the casino...no, let's be positive...I'm going to donate some money to the casino.
Much better.
PS-Happy birthday to my friend David (who's also here in Vegas) and a shout out to Clay and Janna Jackson...happy now? ;)
8/12/08 Oh boy, I'm dragging such ass today. It's 11:30 am and I'm still lying in bed. I wasn't feeling that well last night and I'm still a little "yech" today.
Despite feeling like shit last night the character show well really well; better than I thought it would actually. We had almost 70 people there, which for a Tuesday late night show, is great. Especially since it was a first time show.
Every act was great, and without hurting myself to pat me on the back, a lot of people said the line-up was really fantastic. Do I know my comedy or what?
Other big news is that the DVD editing is done! Yes, done! All I'm doing now is tweaking some of the other video parts and making the graphics for the DVD case. But I'm really proud of the way it turned out.
The stand-up DVD has a 50 minute show, plus a 15 minute set of Skippy Greene, the music video for a Skippy Greene song, the short film "No Country for Autobots", (hopefully) a clip of one of my newer jokes and the video from my second time EVER doing stand up. Oh yeah, that one is special.
The the other DVD has the documentary about my Europe tour, plus some other little extras.
I'm just throwing out content on this thing...why? Because I love you guys. :)
That's really been my life as of late; editing and performing. It's been boring really. I'm such a perfectionist, but I'll be glad when all of this is done. I need to move on.
This weekend I'm going to Vegas to do some more writing work for Terry Fator. Should be a blast. Then I'm going to start to do some more touring; including my return to Finland! That is going to be amazing.
Well campers, I'm getting hungry which means I should get my lazy ass out of bed and fix me something good to eat.
Hope you guys are smiling.
8/9/08 Waaay into August and not one blog; for shame Flip...for shame.
The reason is a mixture of being busy and being lazy...mostly lazy. But busy as well.
I've been editing the final touches to the new DVD. Incidentally, the names have changed again. The DVD itself will be called, "Gettin'em on the Chain", and the documentary is called, "Making It Up As I Go Along"...I think it's a better choice. Anyway, I'm hoping to have them all done and produced by the time I go to Finland in a month.
I've also been editing the music video for "Man About Town"; the Skippy Greene song. The video is pretty much done, we just need to do some over dubbing on the dialouge.
Aside from that I've just been doing some spots around town. Last night I did Skippy at the Improv and it did as well. I recently did Skippy at the Comedy Store for the first time; that was cool. I felt really special there because that's where Andy Kaufman would do a lot of his stuff, including Tony Clifton.
I'm doing my own character show this Tuesday at the Improv, you want a 2 for 1 admission, click away: 2 FOR 1 JEWPON. I'm getting nervous; I don't know how many people are going to be there. I hope there's a fair amount since we've got such a great line-up.
I always hate being in charge of anything; too much pressure. Well, I take that back. I don't like being in charge of something that requires people to show up. Seriously. Like I usually don't like throwing a party because there's pressure for people to show up. I actually remember when I was in college and I offered to use the pool at my parents' development for the wrap party for a play. I got the pool, oredered like 10 pizzas...and NO ONE showed up. I felt so embarrassed. I mean seriously, no one!? And only one person called to say they weren't going to show up. RSVP does not stand for: Ruin Several Very nice Pizzas.
OK, I might've stretched a bit on that one.
Anyway, I just hope that people show up to my show, that's it.
I'm dragging ass right now, I need to get out of bed. Oh yeah, I'm still in bed cause I had a late night last night.
Motivation time...
"MOVE YOU LAZY FUCK! MOVE IT! MOVE IT! MOVE IT!"
OK, I'm up! See ya later.
Oh yeah, Aug. 21, Comedy Central, 10:00, "The Gong Show"....ME!
Flip Schultz’s July 2008 Blog from www.FlipIsFunny.com
7/28/08 One of my major flaws is that I am such a perfectionist that it sometimes drives me crazy.
For the past week I have been doing nothing but editing two video projects. One is the documentary about my tour to Europe last year that is going to be called: "Flippin' Through Europe: Do Me Like A Pizza Chef"...don't ask, you'll have to watch it. And the other is a music video for the Skippy Greene song, "Man About Town". The music video is all but done, and the documentary is pretty much done as well....though I am constantly tweaking it. I'm adding music, titles, etc. And it's driving me fucking nuts!
I am starting to dream about editing; how fucked up is that? Tomorrow my roommate is going to be the first person to watch the draft I have now. I'm excited to have someone else see this.
I'll tell you one thing, I feel so good about myself for actually finishing it. I mean this was an incredible undertaking and I was putting it off for months. I mean seriously, it's been almost a year since I went to Europe; so I had the footage this whole time. But I finally took on the challenge and I edited about 27 hours of video down to an hour and twenty-three minutes. Yay me!
I've been doing some spots around town; just did 2 spots tonight. Difficult rooms but I think I rose to the challenge. I have an old bit that I'm starting to re-vamp and it's working, so I feel good about that.
Lately I've been really fulfilled creatively.
OK kids, I'm off to bed. Hopefully the videos will be done in a month and you all can feast your eyes upon my brillance...and egotism.
7/21/08 Wow, sorry for the lack of bloggin; just been busy and tired as hell...especially today. I'm about to go get some coffee and do some reading. Wake up a bit.
So first of all, the editing is more than halfway over, so hopefully the DVD will be done by mid August so I can have the finished product before I start my "Flip Is Finnished Tour" in September. I'm really looking forward to that.
So I got a bit of shitty news today, my commercial agent dropped me as a client. I can't blame them really, I haven't booked anything with them and the fact that they had me on their roster for so long is truly a testament to thier faith in me all along. Still, hurts the ego a bit. But you know what, I'm still fine. I'm a working comedian and (without patting myself too hard on the back), I'm doing pretty good right now.
Oh, so that side gig I got as a writer for this guy is also going well. I've never stricly been a writer for a performer. Like I've written for Jamie Kennedy, Pablo Franciso and Dana Carvey, but I was also performing with them. This guy just wanted my writting skills, not my performance. To be honest, I havne't even met the guy yet. I will in a few weeks though, I think I might buy him a gift. People still like Underoo's, right?
I've been going up a lot at the Improv lately; it's the Teen Tours. If you remember from previous blogs, during the summer, bus loads of kids come to the Improv almost every night and get dinner and comedy. And I am usually really good with those crowds. I just have the material that I know works with them. The Jewish stuff (since most of them are Hebros), I'm from Florida (where most of them are from) and I'm just a goofy geek. It's good that I get the stage time, it just sucks that I'm usually doing the same material. Oh well...
Oh, saw The Dark Knight last night....WOW! So fucking good. Honestly though, I saw a late showing of it and it was about 2:00 AM when it was over, so needless to say, I was a bit tired. I think I need to see it again when I'm a little more awake to really get it...also I need to see it in IMAX. I mean hell, how many opportunities will I get after it's out of the theaters, right? (to see it in IMAX I mean). Of course, Heath Ledger was unreal as The Joker. I know everyone is talking about Oscar for him, and I hate to be a conformist (which reminds me, I love American Idol...that was a joke, I was trying to be a conformist even though I just said I'm not one...nevermind) but he fucking deserves it! A nomination at least.
Alright kids, I'm off to drink and be merry...or at least a little more awake. Smile.
7/12/08 Still editing...still bored.
I never realized how boring I am when I have to watch myself for 12 hours.
7/9/08 Oh, I am bored out of my mind. I'm not bored because there's nothing to do, I'm bored because what I'm doing is boring.
I'm in the process of editing together the second part of my new DVD. It's (tentatively) going to be a two-disc DVD. The first disc is of my stand up taken from 3 shows I taped last Decemeber in Ft. Lauderdale. That one is pretty much done.
The second disc is a sort of documentary of my month long tour of Europe last year with Pablo. It's going to have some fun behind the scenes stuff, some clips from the shows; the usual, ya know. The problem is I have over 20 hours of footage that I have to edit down to an hour and a half...not an easy task. So I'm ediiting the shit out of it as we speak and it's boring to watch all of the footage, decide what should be in and what should be out. If it's only funny or interesting to me; just a lot of boring shit...not that the video itself won't be boring. When it's all said and done, I'm sure it'll be really entertainging...just right now, boring.
OK, enough of that.
I got a job doing some writing for a performer out in Vegas. It's really fun since he's not quite a stand up, so it's a nice challenge to write for this guy.
Been going up a lot which is nice. It's summer which means the Teen Tours are coming through.
For those who don't know, the Teen Tours are pretty much what it sounds like. Every summer bus loads of kids go on a (basically) traveling summer camp. They come out to LA, hit the big attractions which include the Improv. And I LOVE playing for those kids. I just have the material that I know works with them...and it still plays to the adults as well.
Anyway, I gotta get back to the editing...wish me luck.
Oh, I'm thinking of calling the stand-up DVD "Flip Schultz: Slightly Animated" and the documentary, "Flippin' Through Europe: Do Me Like a Pizza Chef"...you'll have to see it. :)
Flip Schultz’s June 2008 blog from www.FlipIsFunny.com
Current mood: tired
6/30/08 Wow, just getting a blog in before the end of the month.
Sorry for the lack of blogs; I've been busy...really busy. Which is a good thing. So let's recap, shall we? Excellent.
First of all, I taped my episode of The Gong Show last week, and it went really well. I don't want to spoil anything (Ooo, did he get gonged???) but I will tell you that Andy Dick had some interesting comments for Little Skippy. Bottom line is that it was fun and I got another TV credit. Hehehehe...the show is going to start to air on July 17; don't know when my episode airs, but you can bet your bippy that I'll letcha know.
The other thing I've been busy with is I've been shooting a music video for Skippy Greene's song, "Man About Town". Everything has been going really well; the people that are helping out have been doing an amazing job. Big thanks to Dawn Ashley Cook, Dan Anic and Lenny & Vensa Schmidt. Unfortunately the footage we've taped so far is pretty unusable. The director has been doing a great job setting everything up; he just didn't know how to use the camera and therefore didn't set the camera up right for most of the shots. Not his fault...he didn't do it on purpose.
So we've decided to hire a cameraman and reshoot 90% of the video. It's kind of a bitch, but we think that this could be something huge and hilarious.
I actually edited a rough cut with the bad footage, and even though it might look "off", the people who I've shown it to laughed. So the content is funny; that's a given, we just need to make it look right.
So that's pretty much been my week as of late.
Oh, I also want to thank all of you who've emailed me or commented on my MySpace page about what I wrote about George Carlin. It really means a lot to know that he affected that many people as much as he affected me.
"Sigh"
I am really tired now; I was up early...well, early for me, 8:00 am. I know most of you get up that early anyways and I shouldn't bitch...but guess what, I'm not used to getting up that early...so "bitch-bitch-bitch!"
Oh, there was another thing that I mentioned earlier this month in the blog. As of now, I'm almost sure that I did not get it, but until I'm 100% sure, I'm still holding out hope and won't jinx it. But seriously, I'm down to the wire, so if you guys believe in miracles, send those positive thoughts my way and let's hope that divine intervention happens!
OK kids, I'm beat so I'm off...hehehe, I guess that means I'm going to "beat" "off"...then again, that should be a given.
6/22/08 I'm sitting in my hotel room in Vegas, looking out of my window at the lights and the desert, and I'm thinking of George Carlin. I just found out that he passed away today, and I've got to be honest, I'm really sad. I mean, I'm sadder than I figured I would be about this. When anyone dies, it's a somber occassion, but (for me anyways) when the person is not a great friend or family member, I don't get too broken up about it.
George was not a great friend, nor a family member, but I still knew him on a slightly personal level and respected the hell out of him as a comedian. Yet, I'm almost crying for him right now because I feel that the world has lost someone great. I almost feel like I'm mourning for the world.
I know, I know, it sounds stupid and over-blown, but that's what I'm feeling.
I haven't seen George in over 4 years (not in person anyways) but I have nothing but fond memories of him.
I've told this story to friends before, but I'm not sure if I ever blogged about it.
Back when I was being managed by Jerry Hamza (who is also George's manager) I was given the amazing opportunity to open for George a few times. The very first time was in Florida...Naples, I believe. Anyway, I'm backstage, nervous and pacing, when Jerry comes up to me and said, "You're on in 2 minutes." So the sweat is starting to flow and I'm just trying to remember my jokes. All of a sudden....
The doors swing open down the hall and George comes struting in and he's almost singing the following words, "Cock-suckers, you fucking cock-suckers..." And I just laughed and it totally put me at ease.
He put his hand on my shoulder and said, "Hey Flip, I'm really looking forward to see your show, I'm just going to put my shit away"
So I go onstage, do about 10 minutes and I did really well...despite the fact that I knew George was watching me from the wings; which made me very nervous.
So I get offstage and George puts his arm around me and said, "Jeez kid, you're funny. You're like an ostrich on PCP!" Which has become my favorite quote to tell people.
Actually, when I asked him if I can use that quote for my bio he said, "Sure...actually what's funnier? PCP or angel-dust?" I said, "I think PCP" and he said, "Yeah, PCP is funnier."
I remember him telling me never to throw away an idea for a joke; you'll never know when you might figure out how to make it funny.
He was a consomite professional, always honing his craft.
Damn, I'm truly broken up about this right now.
This might sound morbid or weird, but I almost feeling lucky that I was on stage performing when he passed. What I mean is that when someone like that dies; someone who was (literally) a comedy-god/legend, I'd like to think that before his spirit went out into the universe maybe it stopped for a second at every comedy club in the world to leave a bit of himself on every stage and with every comic...and he maybe even stayed a little longer at my show to tell me that I'm still an ostrich...or a cock-sucker. :)
I'll tell you one thing, God is going to get a big talking to when he gets there.
He was an atheist (George, not God) and even if there is a God, I'm sure George would still try to find a way to disprove it.
"George, welcome to heaven. I'm God" - "Bullshit!"
The one thing you have to admire (well, there are hundreds of things to admire) but one of them was that he never stopped doing comedy. He never stopped touring, he would still play clubs now and then to work material out. A professional (and a true comedian) til the end.
Like I said before, I'm playing Vegas right now...and he was just here last week! How amazing is that?
He's someone that, as a comedian, I can't help but yern to have the career that he has had.
And you can't help but wonder how many more HBO specials he could've done.
I guarantee that he had at least five to six more hours of material in his notebooks that he was working on for future specials.
I remember him telling me that he had over 1500 files on his computer of shit he hadn't begun to workout yet. As a matter of fact, when I did work with him that time he told me that while he was working on an hour for his upcoming HBO special (at that time, it was "Complaints and Griveances") he had 15 minutes of material already worked out for the special AFTER that one!
Seriously, an amazing man.
George, I know I speak for the comedy world when I say, that we'll all miss everything you've ever said, and everything you hadn't said yet...you cock-sucker. :)
R.I.P.
6/19/08 Greetings, once again, from Sin City.
I'm chilling at a Krispy Kreme (only wifi around my hotel...that's right campers...NO WIFI IN MY ROOM!)...just enjoying a coffee before my first ever headlining week in Vegas baby! It's not a hotel on the strip, but it's still Vegas.
It's been really great hanging out with my brother and sister this week; so wonderful to have family out west.
Anyway, my computer is a little screwy, so I'm keeping this short. Hope you guys are doing well, ttyl...oh shit, I'm turning into a 17 year old valley girl!
Oh, found this online, made me smile with 80's memories.
6/15/08 I am full of Panda Express right now. It's good food, but man oh man it can sit a little weird.
So how many people saw the Dana Carvey special last night on HBO? Well if you didn't, you should see it when it airs again; it was really, really funny. And if you've been keeping up with my blogs, you know that Dana credited me in the special because I wrote some jokes for him. He actually ended up using 6 jokes that I wrote! How amazing is that?? And if you didn't see the credit, check this out:
Not bad, huh?
OK, so what else to report? Oh!...
My brother and sister are coming in tonight; I'm sooo excited. I hardly ever get family to come out here, so this is really a treat. I think in the 7 years I've lived in LA, this is my brothers' third time coming here (my sister/his wife has never been to LA), my parents have been out here twice (once was on a 3 hour layover) and one of my cousins has been out here twice...that's it. Oh, another cousin did come here but I was out of town. OK, but that's it. I mean I still see them pretty regularly since I go back to Florida 2-3 times a year, but it's really great when they can come here and see where I live. See the life that I have made for myself. I guess I'm just proud of what I've done here and I want them to see.
Oh, remember in my last blog when I mentioned something that is 99% real? And if you don't remember, just scroll down and read...then again, I just told you what I wrote, so I guess that's all moot now. Anyway, last night I kinda got the unofficial word that I'm all set in this project, but I'm still skeptical to reveal it...ah, what the hell. Here goes...
I'm going to be a contestant on "The New Gong Show" on Comedy Central. But wait, that's not the funny part...I'm going to be doing ventriloquism with Little Skippy. For those who don't know the act I do with Little Skippy, here's a picture:
It's going to be so stupid, but funny. I'm debating about using my real name; I mean this is the Gong Show. But on the same token, I think the people who know me know that I'm a good comedian and that this is just something silly to do. Whereas those who don't know me might find this funny, look me up and find that I'm a comedian and not a shitty ventriloquist. Yeah, that's a good point Flip. Thank you.
Schitzo anyone?
Either way, it's funny and another TV credit. :)
Well I've got some more errands to run before my brother and sister get here. Hope you guys are smiling.
6/12/08 Wow, what an amazing couple of days it has been. Where to start...
OK, well let's talk about the show I just did in Mill Valley...fantastic! Not just the show and the audience, but the experience on a whole.
It starts when I get there and see that they put me up in an amazingly beautiful hotel; but not just in any room, in a suite! And it was a sweet suite! Yes, I did just type that on purpose.
So the day of the show I meet up with a good friend of mine whom I haven't seen in a long time. We have dinner and they go to the theater...yes, theater. So I'm hanging in the green room with some of the other comics and then I find out that I'm closing the show. Wow, that took me by surprise. This is such a great gig where really amazing comics have closed the show before, comics like, Orny Adams, Jeff Burghart, etc. So I'm just a little nervous and a lot excited. Then, as I'm sitting there, who should walk in? Who? Just guess...nope. No. I'll give ya a hint...ROBIN WILLIAMS! No shit is right!
He lives around there and drops in from time to time to hang out and sometimes go on. Well, for those of you who don't know, Robin is one of my comedic idols; really one of the reasons I wanted to get into stand up. So now I'm hanging out with him and just shooting the shit...and I did a little Skippy for him which he liked. And Robin says that he wants to go on and that he'll follow me. WHAT???
Just insane.
So I go up and have a great show; I mean really good. I'm going to post some clips from it soon. But what was really cool was that from the balcony, in the darkness, I hear Robin laughing. That undeniable laugh of his. Cannot begin to tell you how incredible that made me feel.
After I get off stage, he is in the wings and has a huge grin on his face and says, "Fucking great!" Wow-fucking-wow!
He then goes up and does almost an hour of mostly off the cuff improv...and it was hilarious. What a show, what an experience.
Oh, and at one point he was saying how hot it was on stage, so I tied my shirt up in a knot and walked out on stage (like a waitress) and handed him a bottle of water. He didn't miss a beat though; he just gave me a sexy look, rubbed my tummy and continued. But for a brief moment in time, I shared the stage with Robin Williams!
The only thing that I regret is that I wasn't able to say goodbye to him.
Luckily the guy who runs the show knows Robin and I left him a message on his cel phone. It was a kind of gay message, you know things like, "It was a thrill to share the stage with you...you're a huge influence on me...blah-blah-blah". I know, like I said kinda gay and cheesy; but who cares, it was sincere and something I've wanted to say to him for a long time.
OK, so if that wasn't enough, check this out.
Do you guys remember a few months ago when I worked with Dana Carvey? I wrote a few ideas for some jokes for him and he liked them and said, "If I use these on my special, I'll give you a credit". Well guess what? HE USED THEM AND I GOT A CREDIT ON HIS SPECIAL! When you watch it this Saturday, June 14, on HBO, during the ending credits look for my name under "special thanks to..." I believe there are only 6 or 7 names listed, and (if I heard right) I'm at the bottom...so you can't miss me.
HOW INSANE IS THAT!!!???
OK, now there's one more big thing that might be happening. Actually, I was told it's 99% going to happen, but until I'm 100% sure of it, I'm not going to say anything...but I should know within a day or two.
Seriously though...this has been the most amazing Tuesday through Thursday I've ever had. :)
I'm telling you, believe in the possibilities of you. Believe in happiness, success and anything you want...and you will get it. You work and believe and good things come to you.
I hope you guys are smiling.
I'm off to the Improv (shocker!) to practice for this 99% thing. Keep those fingers and toes and tongues and eyes crossed.
OH YEAH, there's one more big thing that, I would say, is 50% in the bag. Probably find out about that one in a couple of weeks. But you know what, I already see myself having it.
Thanks again to all of you for the support.
By the way, I forgot to tell you...Skippy will be doing his own show at the Hollywood Improv on August 12! How fucking awesome is that!? It's going to be called, "Who Do You Think You Are? A Night of Character Comedy". As you can guess, all of the acts will be comedians doing thier characters. Well, I just got off the phone and confirmed the first comic; Brian Dunkleman. Life is good people, life is good.
6/8/08 OK, I'm really tired now and I have to get up early for a long drive, but I had to blog really quick.
Tonight was a night that makes me so fucking proud and lucky to be a comic. Long story short, I did a spot as Skippy and it went well. But what was really cool was that a lot of comics were there (who had never seen Skippy) and they all said amazingly wonderful things about the act.
Then we all went to the Improv, drank, laughed and remembered a comic who had recently passed away, Mitch Mullaney. God rest his soul.
But it wasn't sad really; it was happiness. It was brotherhood. It was everything that makes you realize how wonderful your friends are.
It was a night that I know I'll remember for the rest of my life.
6/6/08 OK, I apologize, it's been a few days longer than I had promised. Forgive me? Pleeeeease? Thanks!
First of all, I want to give a big congratulations to Corey Moosa and his one-man play, Herpes Tonight...yes, that's the real name. I saw it tonight and it was great. If you're in the LA area, I highly recommend it.
OK, now to the Vegas story...not really much to tell, but I'll try to make it interesting. So it started when the plane we were on crashed on this weird island that seems to be able to time travel. OK, too interesting...and too much like "Lost".
The weekend was really fun...well, it started out that way; isn't that the way every Vegas story goes? "Oh, it started out great...but then..." Anyway, my roommate, David, and I drove out there on a Friday. We checked into New York/New York and before I knew it, I was already was down $40.
On the way up there I found out that my friend, Robert Schimmel was playing at the Monte Carlo. So I called him up and he got us tickets to the show. How cool is that? I mean I don't want to sound egocentric (no Flip, not you!), but I really thought it was cool as hell that I can call Robert Schimmel (who is a pretty famous and amazing comedian) and have him get me and friend in his show. Plus it felt very 'Rat Pack'...anyways. The show was great and afterward we met up with some friends at this hot night club and had a great time....not before I lost another $40.
Normally those kind of places aren't my thing, but my friends had some pull and we got into the VIP section...and Dave and myself had some fun with some lovely ladies. "What happens in Vegas", afterall.
So the next day I'm $80 down but figured, what the hell, it's Vegas, let's just have fun.
Oh, and that night we got tickets to see Bobby Slayton at Hooters. Another brilliant comedian...and friend of mine. Yes, we got in for free. Incidentally I don't keep mentioning the free thing cause I'm cheap (well, not really cheap, but just because I think it's so fucking cool.
After a great show, we go back to the blackjack tables...and people, I don't know what happened, but I started winning like I had never won before. I mean almost every hand! Seriously! I'd double down and win. I played the part where I'd get 15x1 if I was dealt pairs...and the three times I played that, I won twice! Just insane. I could NOT lose! I won't say exactly how much I won, but it was substantial.
That night I could hardly sleep because I felt like I had a horseshoe up my ass; I was the luckiest man in the world. What else could I do with my newfound powers of luck? Heal the sick? Stop the war? Who knows, but I couldn't wait to get up the next day.
That next day we rented a cabana at the pool and just relaxed and soaked in the sun, the girls and the overwhelming feeling of "We are the kings of Vegas!"
Hey, what's that?...oh, it's an itch, and the only way to scratch it? Right, gamble and win some more!
And that's where our little story takes a sad and obvious twist.
Just as the night before I couldn't lose, that day I could not win for shit. It's truly amazing; nothing! I don't know what happened, but whatever powers of good luck I had turned to bad luck in an instant. Like a bunch of ripe bananas suddenly turning black over night.
It got to the point to where I seriously thought I was truly bad luck. I'll tell you why...everytime I walked up to Dave while he was playing, he lost. But when I walked away, he would win big. I'm not joking; every fucking time.
I was freaking out, I mean I really thought that I had a cloud of literal bad luck floating around my head. I would even walk up to strangers and stand by them to see if they would suddenly lose...and they did.
So at this point I had given about half of what I won back to the casinos. Now a smart man would think, "Hm, I'm bad luck so I should just quit while I'm ahead and not play anymore." Obviously, I'm not a smart man.
I did stop for a little while, but later that night Dave started to win again while I was standing there, so I thought, "Hell yeah! I'm back baby! I must only be bad luck during the day time." Like I'm sort of good luck vampire.
Well, like a vampire, my luck sucked at night as well. It was almost comical how I could go from so high to so low in one day. I was really trying to figure out the logistics of it; I mean how can that happen? For real. How? How can I go from getting every card that I need every time, to getting shit cards and beaten every time. To the deal busting reguarly to the dealer pulling out a 21 every time? I thought for a brief second that the entire town conspired against me.
Paranoid? Sure. But at the time, perfectly feasable.
In the end I left only $100 down from with what I came to Vegas with...so it wasn't too bad. Honestly, it wasn't losing the money that got to me, I mean afterall, you go to Vegas with the attitude of "I expect to lose money, but have fun doing it." What got to me was, again, the fall from winning to losing. That stings more. To taste success and then failure right afterwards. Ouch.
Anyways my friends, I'm tired of talking about losing, let's just keep that in Vegas...where it's supposed to stay anyways. Of course I'll be back there in 2 weeks...but this time I know I'm going to win all of the time. :)
Night.
6/3/08 Hello all, hope you're doing well. I'm kind of tired now, so this will be short, but I will talk more about my trip to Vegas tomorrow.
I'll tell you this much, when they say "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas", they're right, because the money that I won in Vegas is still there.
Currently
listening
:
Grace
By
Jeff Buckley
Release date: 1994-08-23
I'm sitting in my hotel room in Vegas, looking out of my window at the lights and the desert, and I'm thinking of George Carlin. I just found out that he passed away today, and I've got to be honest, I'm really sad. I mean, I'm sadder than I figured I would be about this. When anyone dies, it's a somber occassion, but (for me anyways) when the person is not a great friend or family member, I don't get too broken up about it.
George was not a great friend, nor a family member, but I still knew him on a slightly personal level and respected the hell out of him as a comedian. Yet, I'm almost crying for him right now because I feel that the world has lost someone great. I almost feel like I'm mourning for the world.
I know, I know, it sounds stupid and over-blown, but that's what I'm feeling.
I haven't seen George in over 4 years (not in person anyways) but I have nothing but fond memories of him.
I've told this story to friends before, but I'm not sure if I ever blogged about it.
Back when I was being managed by Jerry Hamza (who is also George's manager) I was given the amazing opportunity to open for George a few times. The very first time was in Florida...Naples, I believe. Anyway, I'm backstage, nervous and pacing, when Jerry comes up to me and said, "You're on in 2 minutes." So the sweat is starting to flow and I'm just trying to remember my jokes. All of a sudden....
The doors swing open down the hall and George comes struting in and he's almost singing the following words, "Cock-suckers, you fucking cock-suckers..." And I just laughed and it totally put me at ease.
He put his hand on my shoulder and said, "Hey Flip, I'm really looking forward to see your show, I'm just going to put my shit away"
So I go onstage, do about 10 minutes and I did really well...despite the fact that I knew George was watching me from the wings; which made me very nervous.
So I get offstage and George puts his arm around me and said, "Jeez kid, you're funny. You're like an ostrich on PCP!" Which has become my favorite quote to tell people.
Actually, when I asked him if I can use that quote for my bio he said, "Sure...actually what's funnier? PCP or angel-dust?" I said, "I think PCP" and he said, "Yeah, PCP is funnier."
I remember him telling me never to throw away an idea for a joke; you'll never know when you might figure out how to make it funny.
He was a consomite professional, always honing his craft.
Damn, I'm truly broken up about this right now.
This might sound morbid or weird, but I almost feeling lucky that I was on stage performing when he passed. What I mean is that when someone like that dies; someone who was (literally) a comedy-god/legend, I'd like to think that before his spirit went out into the universe maybe it stopped for a second at every comedy club in the world to leave a bit of himself on every stage and with every comic...and he maybe even stayed a little longer at my show to tell me that I'm still an ostrich...or a cock-sucker. :)
I'll tell you one thing, God is going to get a big talking to when he gets there.
He was an atheist (George, not God) and even if there is a God, I'm sure George would still try to find a way to disprove it.
"George, welcome to heaven. I'm God" - "Bullshit!"
The one thing you have to admire (well, there are hundreds of things to admire) but one of them was that he never stopped doing comedy. He never stopped touring, he would still play clubs now and then to work material out. A professional (and a true comedian) til the end.
Like I said before, I'm playing Vegas right now...and he was just here last week! How amazing is that?
He's someone that, as a comedian, I can't help but yern to have the career that he has had.
And you can't help but wonder how many more HBO specials he could've done.
I guarantee that he had at least five to six more hours of material in his notebooks that he was working on for future specials.
I remember him telling me that he had over 1500 files on his computer of shit he hadn't begun to workout yet. As a matter of fact, when I did work with him that time he told me that while he was working on an hour for his upcoming HBO special (at that time, it was "Complaints and Griveances") he had 15 minutes of material already worked out for the special AFTER that one!
Seriously, an amazing man.
George, I know I speak for the comedy world when I say, that we'll all miss everything you've ever said, and everything you hadn't said yet...you cock-sucker. :)
Flip Schultz May 2008 blog from www.FlipIsFunny.com
Current mood: ecstatic
4/27/08 An open letter to the asshole who sat next to me on the red eye flight from Los Angeles to Charlotte, NC. on April 27, 2008:
Dear Asshole...how ya doing? Are you well rested? Good to hear. Guess what, I'm not so well rested. Let's play a little question game, shall we?
If it's late at night, what's the one thing you want to do? Sleep! Correct. OK, now, if one wants to sleep, what does one need? Darkness! Correct. So, here's a tricky one, if you are on a red eye flight and EVERYONE else on the plane has their reading lights off, should you keep yours on so you can read a fucking magazine while the guy right next to you (a handsome, funny, and really tired Jew) tries to get some sleep? The answer is no! No! No! You dumb fuck!
Sincerly, Handsome, funny, really tired Jew.
ps - YOU SUCK!
I guess you can tell how my flight was. He eventually turned it off, but not for an hour or so into the flight. I mean seriously, what a douchebag. When I say that every other light was off, I mean it. But this dickwad had to read his fucking electronics magazine, or something. Just rude...or maybe I'm being selfish; I don't know. I just know that logic would seem to point to the fact that you wouldn't want to be "that guy". You know, the guy that everyone on the plane is commenting about. Which I don't know if they were, but in my imagination, even the pilot was saying, "What a dick."
That's another thing. When the flight attendants or pilots make an announcment on the flight, they speak in the intercom and say their speech, "Buckle your seat belt...our flying time is...turn off cel phones...quit farting..." OK, the farting one is just for me. But when it's a red eye, and, as I said before, most people are trying to sleep (except for the douchebag next to me), shouldn't they be a little more sensative? You know, like get on the intercom and whisper, "Hey there...Oh, didn't mean to wake ya, just wanted to make sure your seat belts are all buckled. Shh..go back to bed kitten..."
Anyway, I'm pretty tired so I'm going to try to get some sleep now. Hope you guys are smiling.
Oh, and a special hello to someone who is reading this now...look forward to seeing the girl scout halloween costume.
4/19/08 A happy pre-4.20 to all of you out there who know what 4.20 is. Basically it's a pot-heads' Christmas...except the tree is much smaller, and purple'er.
Well, let's recap the last week in the life of Flip Schultz, shall we.
Hm...well, I'm about to shoot a little short film project. I don't want to give too much away, but if it goes through, it should be pretty funny. And it might lead to big things. :)
Oh, this was interesting...wait, you know what I just realized. I wished you all a "Happy 4.20" and totally forgot that tonight is the first night of Passover. My God, I'm a horrible Jew and a great stoner...and I'm not even stoned now.
Anyway, so yesterday I went to my gym and I noticed all of these photographers hanging out outside. So I go up to the girl at the counter and ask what is going on. She said, "Oh, Brittany Spears is working out here." I'm thinking, "What the fuck?" You've got to remember people, I work out a Bally's gym in Culver City...not exactly the sheikest place in LA.
So I walk upstairs and sure enough, there's a big security guard standing outside of this room where Brittany was to be working out. So I hop on a treadmill because, I will admit, I was curious to see her. I mean fan or not, she has become this...thing. This icon. And I guess I just wanted to be able to say that I saw Brittany Spears. Not really met her, or got my picture with her (at least not at the gym), but just to say that I saw her at my gym.
So about 20 minutes later, the door opens and she walks out with a few other people (not sure if they just happened to be working out with her, or if they were friends) and they go down the stairs. And I looked and thought, "Huh, there's Brittany Spears, cool." And that was it for me. But there was this guy next to me on another treadmill...as opposed to being on the same one with me (stupid Flip) and he took out his phone and took a few pictures. Why? What the hell could taking a picture of Brittany Spears walking out of gym do? "Ooo, look, here's a blurry, cel phone picture of Brittany Spears walking down some stairs. Isn't that awesome!? Sure, I know you can see better pictures of her in any magazine in existence, but this was taken by me!" Who gives a shit?
I'd rather just have the story. And some of you might think, "Well, if you only have a story and not a picture, who's going to believe you?" Well I'd say, "Who the hell would make up a story like that?" I mean if I was going to make up a story, I might make it a little better than just, "I saw Brittany at my gym." I'd probably say, "She was at my show and told me she loved my act. Then we chatted a bit." That would be a great lie story...not something anti-climactic like, "I saw her at my gym."
Of course now I'm worried that if she keeps going there my dues are going to go up.
But in all seriousness, after seeing the guy take the picture like that I really started to feel bad for her. I mean she really has NO privacy. No real life. She's followed everywhere she goes, and even when she's at a club or whatever, I'm sure there are people in there watching her and reporting back to some kind of media outlet. Now I know that giving up some of your privacy is part of being famous, and I'm sure as a celebrity, being followed means that you're still being sought after, and therefore still popular. I get it...but c'mon people, there has to be a limit, doesn't there?
I guess what I'm saying is I feel bad for her.
OK, what else to report? Well, I'm getting ready to go back to Florida next week, so that should be fun. I'm only there a week, but still I'm excited about it.
groggy
tired
sad
ecstatic