HONESTLY
Current mood: okay
Category: Music

A lot of times, bands will have recording diaries and things like that.  This is my own little version of that.  It is nothing much for now, and it may never be anything much.  I'll update it when I happen to remember it, and thus it might just completely die out.

But it's something beyond that, as well.  The tentative title for the next CD is Honestly, because it's a word and a concept (in that case, honesty) that I'm always fascinated by.  I think about what honesty is for a songwriter a lot, and I'm always in a bit of a struggle with it.  Every time I see one of those bulletins about how you can ask someone any one question and they'll answer honestly, but only if you post the bulletin as well, I think about how it really shouldn't be that way.  I think you should feel free to ask me any one question at any point, and I think it's only fair that I should answer it honestly.  So in this blog, I'd like to say that you can leave any question in a comment here.  If it's not too personal, I'll just reply to your comment.  If it is personal, I'll reply in a message.  And I can't promise that I'll give you every single detail about my life... but I'm always encouraging openness, so I think it's time to practice some.  It can be about the album, or past albums/songs, or my life, or whatever you like.

So ask me any question, and I'll answer it honestly.  Because that's what this whole writing and recording process is about.

May 25, 2007, 2:35 AM:
I figured I should come back to this to give an update on the progress so far.  Right now, scattered around my room, are a few different pieces of paper.  One of them is a list of songs that I care about and feel might be right on the fourth (wow) album.  I'm not sure how many are there, but not all of them will end up on it.  Another of them has certain songs with jotted down notes like "sweet bass line" and "CYMBAL SWELLS!"... that one's my favorite so far.  That piece of paper is the product of an evening of jamming/writing/goofing off with Jon Carbin (who played the beautiful cello parts on Between the Lines) and Ben See (who can be seen under the name The Little Engine that Could).  Both of them will be involved in the next album in some way, I'm sure.  That day was the first writing session I've ever had with other people returning to previously written DSF songs, so it was both a strange and fairly unproductive process.  We'll do the same thing once or twice more, though, as the album is still in its idea phase.  That day is really the only day so far where active thought has been put into what we're calling Honestly.

Now let's talk about Erin Maslovar.  Erin Maslovar is a pretty amazing person (despite what she may tell you), and a great photographer.  To be fair, I've only know Erin for a few days spent sending MySpace messages back and forth, but she's already a great MySpace friend, and, as stated, I really like her photography.  She has this one picture, though, that I've been completely fascinated by since she told me about it... and I guess there's not a lot to tell, but basically, I went into paint and quickly threw some text on it.  I couldn't help but see it as a great album cover.  I feel like I completely ruined it, but I nonetheless keep bringing up this image.  And every time I look at it, I feel like it represents something truly spectacular... this work of beauty that I could never make.  But I'd like to try to make it.  So, strangely enough, my main inspiration for this album right now is the picture of the finished product.  And I'd like to show you that picture.
..

"Your Hand in Mine" is playing now.  That means The Earth Is Not a Cold Dead Place is almost over, and it's time to let Explosions in the Sky cap off my night.  So goodnight to you.  I'll update this again when there's something to be updated about. :)


May 27, 2007, 1:51 AM

The New Frontiers.  Umbrellas.  Lovedrug.
In that order.

I haven't been in a stupor like that since Sufjan... I say like "that" because it's mostly passed, so in that respect, it's less of a stupor than with Sufjan.  Still, though... the entire show was quite an experience.  Everything about it.  And the New Frontiers guys all seem really nice.  We talked about hacky sack, Do Make Say Think and Broken Social Scene, how we don't understand that girl that thought they sounded like Copeland, etc.  Good times were had.

...I'd like to be a musician like that.  Where I tour around and meet people, but there's no disconnect off stage.  When I walked up, they were all sitting in a circle, and I thought they were just fans waiting to get in the door.  I like that.  I like the thought of being able to fly completely under the radar, but then to have someone later say, "Wow.  That guy was really good.  And so humble."  The first part, the flying under the radar, I've got down.  It's the second part that I can only hope could come with time.

So this is my journal.  I am DSF, so it will also be a recording diary.  It will be everything that I am, in short installments, when I feel like it.  I like to think that maybe one person here is interested and reading.  If not, at least I know I put my thoughts down somewhere.  It changes things when you write them down.

June 1, 2007, 3:19 AM
I need to love this album.
For myself, more than anything else.
A revelation past three in the morning.
And so, Sally can wait.

June 9, 2007, 2:09 AM
What a day.  Ben came over here around 2:30, and didn't leave until about fifteen minutes ago.  Sadly, our possible female vocalist never showed... I really don't know what's happening there.  I'm kind of disappointed... really disappointed, in fact.  I managed to have a great day despite it.  But I'm still a little worried, and disappointed. [I said disappointed three times.  I'm more disappointed because I didn't get to have the experience today, and not disappointed in her.  Just wanted to clear that up.  I just really hope to get the right female vocals on this album.]

(Sidenote: I love the last entry on here.  I just read it, because I'd completely forgotten it, and I think I need to just periodically go back and read it.)

We messed around with Ben's microKORG for awhile, and then got to jotting down ideas for songs... after running through "Hayley" at a much faster tempo, we paused.  Ben mentioned the beautiful weather.  For some reason, Oklahoma decided to be beautiful today... a light breeze, and the coolest weather we've had in awhile.  So we went to Lion's Park.  I figured I'd take some pictures for any of you folks that do better with more than words. :]

Ben:
..

Me:
..

Some of the park:
..

Various pieces of paper (look close for song notes if you'd like):
..

We came back to MySpace [I think I meant my house, but it's more accurate this way], got hooked on The Impossible Quiz, ate with my family, and hit up Waffle House around 11:30 with Jordan and Kyle.

I've been thinking of someone a lot.  That's my little bit of personal journaling here.  And we're going to leave it at that.

Today was a good day.  I've been having a string of good days... you've probably seen bulletins.  I'm listening to No Good for No One Now (Owen) right now... not drinking tea, but I might make a cup to settle down for the night.

June 25th, 2007, 4:03

Songwriting is a funny thing.  The closer I get to one person, the harder it is to write songs.  I don't want to be one of those songwriters that falls for someone, tells them, and then writes tons of songs for/about them.  I don't even have to keep myself from being that, really... it just happens that I suddenly have trouble writing.

I guess I can't really blame that, though.  I've only written four songs all summer.  It's just a songwriting slump, I guess.  It's strangely convenient for the album process... I wanted to focus on an album, and suddenly there were barely any new songs to worry about.  That should be wonderful.  But we all forget that the best part of this is the songwriting.  That's why I still do this... I love recording, I love talking with fans, I love just about everything that goes with songwriting... but when you take out songwriting, there's a tremendous void.

It's been awhile since anything's been done toward the fourth album.  Nothing since the last blog post.  It's time to get in touch with people.  One more writing session, and then I intend to start recording.  I need to.

There's this song that keeps getting changed... built upon... it's a rarity, but it's happened this summer.  I had one repeated guitar line, and Ben and I started creating a really beautiful instrumental out of it.  Later, I ended up writing a few lines of vocals... repeated vocals, I thought.  Part of the instrumentation.  Later still, I came up with another guitar part... unintentionally, in truth... but I thought maybe it could just be a break in the monotonous minimalism... something to make it really moving.  Now, though, I've written more lyrics, and it's turned into a verse-chorus-verse-chorus song as always.  Trouble is, I still like that instrumental that Ben and I created.  So I'll be playing the song version at Songpull this Friday, but I think by the time we get around to recording, we'll return to that instrumental idea.  I really can't let it go.

Listening to The Receiving End of Sirens' Between the Heart and the Synapse right now.  It remains one of the best albums I've ever heard.  I mean, as an album.  Maybe that's part of why I'm writing here... this is the sort of album I will always strive for, but will surely never create.

July 7th, 2007, 9:39 PM

(this started out as a bulletin, but I decided to elaborate)

If life looked like this, I would be happy.
..

But, because life looks like this, I am happy.
..

In the end, life looks best when it's black and white - as long as we're still allowed to live in the grey areas.

I said elaborate... what I meant was just add some rambling.  I was checking back on Dead Air Space, because it's been awhile, and I found that picture of Johnny Greenwood.  Something about it just makes me content.  I'm in a Radiohead zone today, somehow... I had a dream last night where I was something like Thom Yorke.  I posted a bulletin about it, but tracking it down to copy and paste would probably be more trouble than it's worth.  I suppose if you've read this far, you don't mind my longwindedness, but I still pretend that you do.

It's too late to track the guitar parts tonight.  There's a part of me, a dirty liar, that says I will do it tomorrow.  But perhaps tomorrow that part will be vindicated.  It's hard to say.  In truth, I'll just watch Ratatouille, eat dinner, and waste away the night.  But I'm hoping I'll eat my words on that one.

But why am I tracking the guitar parts?  Haven't I still some writing to do?
You'd think that, secondary part of me that serves as nothing but a narrative device!  But alas, the last writing session has passed.  I've already forgotten what day it was... I regret not updating this blog to mention it earlier.  Regardless, now comes the time to track everything, starting with all of my main guitar and vocal lines.  Then I'll have an individual session with Ben, and an individual session with Jon.  It's still quite an undertaking, but it's time to start, or I'll never finish it.

Basically, I'm just going to do my best to continue living and loving life as I have been this summer, but at the same time throw myself into music again.  Because the place where those two pictures meet... where I'm Johnny Greenwood, holed up in a studio worrying more than is necessary for the listener about my guitar tone, but then I resurface to spend time with people I really care about... that's beauty.  That's love.  That's life, as it should be.


July 24th, 2007, 5:27 PM

Well, it's a start.  The first finish, in a way.  Today and yesterday, I tracked ten guitar parts.  Part of me wants to dive into vocals right now, and if nothing's going on tonight, I might do just that... but I'd prefer a movie night at Holly's house with Alexa, Ben, Holly, and whoever else may be there.

I saw a really incredible show last night.  Although, in truth, I've seen a lot of incredible shows this summer, it really hasn't taken away from any of them.  The City Lives was great as always, Gazelles were a wonderfully pleasant surprise, and Pompeii... go see them if you have the chance.  Beautiful music - in studio, live, however you take it in.  It's beautiful.

I'm listening to "Silence and Betrayal" by The Apollo Program right now.  It's a solo project by... well, I don't know his name.  But we've talked a bit, and he's a pretty cool guy.  That song itself... amazing.  Really amazing.

I didn't mean to spring all of those music recommendations on you all at once there.  It just happened that way.  I suppose that's all of this update, though.  It's a nice feeling to know that this album is actually being made.  I've been procrastinating on it way too much.

July 24th, 2007, 11:38 PM

A couple of those guitar tracks were bad.  I won't get into how frustrating that is.  And I don't mean "bad" in the sense of "I would prefer a better tone" or "I didn't quite hit that note," because every guitar track I make has those problems... I mean, "somehow I managed to count these wrong and not notice until I was recording vocals over them, and now I'll have to do a third day of guitar tracking tomorrow, when I'm already sick of it."

But, on the plus side, I now have eight working guitar and vocal tracks.  There's a point on "Better than Before" where something hits something else, and it sounds indescribably gross, but I think I may be able to fix that without re-recording the whole thing.  I'm really not a good producer at all, so it's hard to say.

Just finished listening to "I've Been Lost" by +/-... another beautiful song, while I'm over-recommending.

All I have beyond this are more complaints, so I'll leave you with the happy note about finishing most vocal tracks and listening to good music.

July 28th, 2007, 1:49 AM

I just left Ben a comment, and I think it sums up our day reasonably well.  Here's that comment:

Tonight, I have recorded:
Bass for "Wind on Windowpanes"
Bass for "Better than Before"
microKORG for "Wind on Windowpanes"
Piano for "If"

Good work on "Hayley" today.  I showed my sister what we'd done, and she got that sort of blissful look on her face.  Especially the bass part, although I've grown attached to the octave D's piano part as well. :D

I guess a lot of that is pretty nonsensical to you.  But essentially, today was the first day seeing what exactly we're making as an album... I mean, I had these ten guitar and vocal parts, but I've been playing and singing those parts for months now.  Seeing what we could do with them was really interesting, and while I don't want to eat my words on this, I am really excited for the new album.  I think it's going to sound fresh and new for perhaps the first time, and I'm really excited for that.  I hope you are too.  Honestly. :)


July 30th, 2007, 10:08 PM

Again, I find that a bulletin can say it better than I can...

Welcome to my day, kind sir or madam!

Ben came over this afternoon. Jon was originally supposed to be there as well, but alas, time and commitments got in our way. He'll be there (here) Thursday. So instead of cello, we recorded cymbal and bellset. Also, a bit of thunder and some electric guitar. I think the first cymbal swell and the bellset on "If" are my favorite recordings of the day... especially the bellset. It's beautiful. Ben did well.

He left in the evening. I read some Harry Potter, had dinner, and I've been spending the rest of the night here in the guestroom, listening to The Decemberists. My stomach feels all twisted in knots... kind of like that sinking feeling you get when your emotions are all twisted in knots. But it's not that, I don't think. It could have been the ice cream. I was lactose intolerant for a couple years as a kid, and every once in a while it rears its ugly head once more.

Reading that back, I like when I say, "It could have been the ice cream." Because it seems like a very strange switch... "You know that feeling you get when you're nervous and worried and questioning the way people are and the way they feel about you? Yeah, well that's what ice cream does to me." Haha.

I hope part of this interested you. I might turn around and put it in the recording blog with a few more words and some pictures.

I don't think I have any more words for you, actually.  But here the pictures... supposedly they're worth a thousand words... and I suppose if I describe the pictures a bit, that's a few more... eight pictures... let's say I have 8,080 more words for you. ;)

Cymbal swells!  Check out the look on his face.  Now that's the face of a man who plays cymbal swells. :D


It started raining.  Ben left his windows open.  He was not very dry when he returned.


But then we recorded bellset!


The guest room is actually genuinely starting to look like a studio, but with more clutter and less professionalism...
(actually, come to think of it, we probably have the same amount of both of those as most studios.)




Even my desk is cluttered (no, really, it usually isn't!).


We thought the headphones on the cymbal stand thing was probably something real musicians did.  Go figure.



August 1, 2007, 10:29 PM

I just spent an hour recording a thirty second guitar track that I might not be able to use.

Things I've learned:
- Essentially the same distortion settings can sound great on one song, and like the most grating thing you've ever heard on another... despite the fact that both songs have the same tonality to them.
- Sometimes, the mic thinks you're much more distorted than your ear does.
- Once you've lost what you think sounds good, you won't find a tone that you think works.
- You need to slant your amp because of your limited equipment.  But it falling will be the reason for the failure of a majority of your takes.
- Your electric guitar will never be in tune with your acoustic guitar, but if you spend fifteen minutes tuning it, you will reach a point where it's passable.
- Check after recording each guitar part that you can't hear the click track, because it may or may not make you scrap all of "Quality Over Quantity" and start over.
- Use recording blogs to vent your frustration, because most of your friends probably don't want to hear it, but the few that care enough to read a recording blog won't mind.  At least, I like to think I've learned that one.  But I'm probably completely wrong.

Thank God.  This album was going too smoothly.  I'm glad I could finally reach a really frustrating point.

November 25th, 2007, 4:53 PM

Wow.  I knew it had been a long time since I'd updated this blog.  But I didn't realize that it had been almost four months, since that frustrating night of trying to make something out of "Quality Over Quantity" that was never meant to be.  What's funny is that it was finally finished two days ago.

There's too much to update you on./  Life wise, music wise.  Like I said, it's been almost four months, so a lot has happened.

But I just got back from Thanksgiving break.  Ben and I were able to finally complete "The Buffalo Girl Song" (it was extremely serendipitous... an idea I hadn't thought of doing until very recently, and when we tried it, it turned out to be everything that song needed) and "Quality Over Quantity" (turns out a tiny touch on the chorus and some re-recorded bellset was all that one really needed, too.)

Friday night, I mixed the album.  And now I'm listening to what may be the final mix.  I think it's beautiful.  I know a lot of people aren't going to like it.  But I like it.  I think once it's all said and done, I'm going to be proud of this project.  In fact, right now, at this very moment, I'm proud of this project.

So if the mix is good, I'll be handing it off to my good friend Kashif (he's the one that did the "If" remix awhile ago) to master it.  Then it'll be packaged.  And then I start figuring out how exactly to promote an album independently.  Not very much looking forward to that part... except that it probably includes playing shows, so maybe I am looking forward to that part. :D

Anyway.  I just felt like I needed to break the silence.  I'll try to keep updating this.  Occasionally, at least.  Maybe nobody cares anyway.  I mean, this is a whole lot of blog for some dude who records songs in the guest room at his house with a couple friends of his. :P

I hope you're well, and I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving.  I'd say I did. :)

Currently listening : How Strange, Innocence By Explosions in the Sky Release date: 11 October, 2005

3:48 PM - 6 Comments - 3 Kudos - Add Comment

I haven't laughed like that in a long time

I'm listening to Owen.
I'm about to pick up Nine Stories, and I have no idea how much of it I'll read...
but it's Salinger, so any amount will be good.
Before I go to bed, I'll finally listen to the new Explosions in the Sky album, with my better headphones, in the dark.
Tomorrow, I will have lunch with a good friend.  I'll stop by Norman Music and get my amp back in working order.  Jon and I will have the first official writing session for the next DSF album... I'm calling it Honestly, for right now.
Tuesday, I will have lunch with more friends.  I'll buy the new Dear Hunter CD.  I'll play a show at Blue Seven.
I am excited for all of these things.
And I am in a good place.
Precarious?
True.
Exciting?
Always.
:)

Currently listening : Owen By Owen Release date: 18 September, 2001

1:54 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

That was the first time singin' the last time...

I hit a chord accidentally.
Then I just start playing.
And I was playing this same chord with a moving bass line.
So I figured I'd start singing over it (this is how it always goes).
But when I started singing, the bass line changed.
I didn't mean to change it.
But these words were coming out of my mouth, and my fingers decided that it wasn't right to put them over that same line.
"That was the first time singin' the last time
You are the call to a calm calm water
We were the last, you were the last one to go
But it's not the sight of the sun that makes me sing low"
And I kind of know what it means.
But at the same time I have absolutely no idea.
So I sing it again.
And then I start playing other chords.
But it's my choice this time.
And I start singing other words.
But it's my choice this time.
And suddenly, the song can no longer be made.
I'm left with a verse that feels so perfect.
Where, because of how it came to me, I can't add to it.
Because that just wouldn't be right.
And I can't decide whether or not I like that.
But at least it felt good at the time.

12:39 PM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Sufjan Live
Current mood: contemplative

It's an experience.  Disappointing in only its length... shortest one and a half hour show I've ever seen.

I don't even know how to describe it.  I need to let you know what it was, but without being in the Calvin College Fine Arts Center earlier tonight, you just wouldn't know it.

But if you ever have the chance, do it.  Maybe you won't hear all of your favorite songs, but you'll realize just how beautiful everything around you is, and... just something.  Everything.  Nothing.  All of that together.

I don't know... maybe it's just because he's one of a few songwriters that really inspire me.  But Rocky Votolato, Owen, and Death Cab weren't like this... this was something entirely different.

I've been in a Sufjan stupor all night.  I want to write a song, but I'm afraid I've become mostly useless for anything but sleep at this point.

Life is a beautiful thing.

11:36 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

I've Become an Oscar Wildean Reality!
Current mood: happy

"I'm always hoping that even if I haven't said much, I've at least said it well. :D"

I just left that in a comment. I feel so frivolous all of a sudden.
Also, I want to do The Importance of Being Earnest again. I've had to annoy my friends with my more laid back British accent, perhaps simply because after spending months with one, it never quite leaves you. :P

Umm... yes. I should be studying for Calc. It's a nice day, though, and for goodness' sake, I wrote three songs last night! It's hard to be in a terrible mood, haha.

How are you? Good mood, I hope? Good weather, maybe? Having an argument over the proper time to eat muffins with your slightly flamboyant friend Algy? =)

{Yes, this started out as a bulletin, but I'm always happy to hear how you're doing. :]}

Currently listening : Apologies to the Queen Mary By Wolf Parade Release date: 27 September, 2005

2:19 PM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Twilight army, coming home...
Current mood: anxious

If I'm remembering that right. Whatever. It's Circa Survive. If you didn't get it by twilight army, you wouldn't have gotten it with anything afterward... except maybe (probably) "We understand what it means to break down," but I didn't get that far, now did I? :P

Man, I don't even know what that was about! I'm just really excited about their new album, whenever it's ready to come out.

I actually posted this bulletin (blog, maybe?) to say thanks to those of you who sent me messages last night, and really all the time. I know I don't always respond. I try. I really do. But there are times when I don't know what to say, or I get a lot of messages, and somehow one gets lost in the shuffle or I still don't know how to respond.

I'm reading and loving everything, though. I don't know if it'll ever be hard to do that, but I want to remind you now that I still am, and that I appreciate all of you who take the time to say a few words to me. It means the world to me. :)

(Did I say that? It means the world to me? I never say that! It does mean a lot to me, though. Probably more than you think it does.)

So thank you.
Now everybody go out and have a good day tomorrow. I'm tired of bad ones. :]

Currently listening : The Inuit Sessions By Circa Survive

8:00 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

I told you I'd bring you more blogs
Current mood: melancholy
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

But bulletins like the following always get posted first...

Homesick 'cause I no longer know where home is

I feel it now, but I don't feel what it's talking about now.  You know?  It's "Homesick" by Kings of Convenience, by the way.  It's beautiful.  This whole album is beautiful... Riot on an Empty Street.

What's weird is that I really want to feel it.  Like... nevermind.  That was one in a string of thoughts that... I don't know, they were kind of everywhere but nowhere.

Last night at Chipotle, I said to Alex, "I like things like that.  Things that are everything and nothing at the same time.  Those are the best."

They can be the worst, though, too.  Luckily, I've had more bests in that form than worsts.

Wow.  This isn't good.  I was actually working before.  Now I can't even get anything done.

Do you ever wonder if there's actually something wrong with you mentally?  Like, you've moved past that point of normal human oddity to the point where you actually have a problem?  I think it might be interesting to see a therapist, but then all these tendencies become wrong... like, it would be interesting to hear what someone else has to say about who I am.  But in places where I see a part of me that isn't good, but still a part of me, they'd just see a part of me that isn't good.

Good question: Do you have any idea what I'm talking about?
Better question: Do I have any idea what I'm talking about?

I just realized that it's always been like this.  When I was overcome with vague emotions, I used to go to the Utopia Poets Lodge and just write things up and post them there.  Everything is gone now... all of those poems... any contact with those people... the board itself... it's sad, really.  And for all of last semester, I kept a journal.  One person has read all  of it - she's one of the best people I know.  But now... it gets scattered in messages to people... but I need some sort of outlet.

So here I am, blowing off work because I'm in a "not so good" mood, and just rambling away in my second bulletin of the night.  But the thing is, someone who read the first one and still clicked here will read all of this.  There are people out there that care enough to read these bulletins.  I don't feel sorry for those people (you) - I feel sorry to those people.

This is just my head in paper form.  Not gonna lie - it kinda sucks.  It can spurt out little gems from time to time, but most of the time it's just the wading pool of God knows what.

I mean, really, was that even a metaphor?  Would anybody give that a thought and think that it had anything to do with anything?

Let's play a game: Where do these words best fit?
1. In this bulletin
2. In The Journal
3. In a message to Kelsey, Jordan, Holly, Lacey, or others that I'll have to later apologize for forgetting
4. Nowhere
5. In a blog

Oddly enough, 1-5 are correct, but 4 is the only one that won't work out... because I'll post this bulletin.  Then I might put it in a blog, feeling it needs some sort of permanence.  Tonight, I may put it in The Journal, adding a bit about how I feel right now, but later on.  Then in talking with any of those people, these words will come out in different arrangements to tell of the same thoughts.  They should be nowhere, but instead they're everywhere.

We're talking about a relative "everywhere," of course.  Nothing I ever do will be everywhere.  I can't make anything or be anything like that.  I just have to be content with being a step behind my hopes.

I had a long conversation with Caitlin (who should have been in that one option) about expectations and hopes once... there's no need to repeat it.  I just wanted to let you know that it existed.

Really?  You're really still reading this?
Maybe these words are tucked away now, in a place where, because nobody that cares enough happens to be online, nobody will read these words.

Is that a comforting thought?  That nobody will ever read these words?  I don't think it's true.  But is that comforting or disheartening?  Comforting, oddly enough.  Disheartening in most cases, but not this time.

My arms and hands feel tired, and I have to write a paper after this.  Oops.

I've decided not to read any of this.  Please excuse the typos, and the fact that you're reading through ten, fifteen, who knows how many minutes of my brain.

Reading through my brain.  That is a really weird phrase.

When I write these things, I like to think that nobody can directly talk to me about them.  But Nicole, Laura, tons of other people... MySpace friends from here, and people that have even commented on how they read all of my bulletins, at least when they seem them.

Yeah, I don't know.  We have all this anonymity on the internet, even though our names and pictures are on display right next to our words.  "This isn't me, these are just the words that I have made."  And I don't even know if that's true anymore.  Heck, I don't even know why I said anymore.  I'm kind of backtracking to this thought while my brain is moving forward into essentially nothing else.

Okay.  Thank you.  Thank you, and I'm sorry.

God, that last part sounds too much like a suicide note.  Didn't mean to end this sadly, and trust me that I'm nowhere near that sad.  Plus, I have a paper to write.  You can't write a paper when you're dead, yeah?

Ending one was depressing.  Ending two was morbid.  Ending three is bizarrely self-referential.

Currently listening : Riot on an Empty Street By Kings of Convenience Release date: 27 July, 2004

6:36 PM - 4 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Support Local Artists
Current mood: content

I posted a bulletin just now where I started talking about bands from Oklahoma, and I realized I wanted it to be more permanent.  So I'm starting this blog with a copy-paste, and I intend to continue it.  If there's an artist from Oklahoma that really strikes a chord with me, I'll add them to this list.  To friends of mine, like The Little Engine that Could, Will McCaskill, Berkeley to D.C., The Gregg Standridge Band, Omid Nowrouzi, etc., I'm sorry I gave you no mention.  At this point, I was thinking as a fan, and it's strange to be an adoring fan of friends of yours, yeah?  Hopefully those links will send a few your way, though. :)

What I really mean to say, though, is that there are certain bands from Oklahoma that you really must listen to if you haven't yet. And if there's a band in your area that's amazing, you should be supportive of them - I'd love to hear some great local stuff from other "local"s! :)

(And I wouldn't mind if you told a few others about me, too. :D)

Ryan Lindsey makes flat out great music. It's both catchy and unique, and I love it - White Paper Beds is probably my most listened CD from an Oklahoman (although it's in close competition with Umbrellas). Also, his live show is always really fun. If you kind of enjoy it when I ramble about things and you kind of like my sense of humor, you should love him. :D He might be the best one-man live show I've seen... and I've seen Rocky Votolato and Owen, for goodness' sake!

Evangelicals were the first Norman artist that I really got into - around September of 2005, I first realized the wonder to behold in the Oklahoma music scene. :D Josh is a great guy and a great songwriter, and the band is great in general. So Gone is all over the place - you never know where it's going or why it's going there, but you love that you don't know. The live show could be described in the same way, but manages to be completely different from the CD. I've seen them four times now (at least), and it's been awesome every time!

Kunek... oh my God, Kunek. It's just beautiful, and uniquely beautiful. There's a lot to love there, and you really must experience it. The songs on their MySpace are great, but until you hear Flight of the Flynns on CD or hear most if it live, you might not quite get it. But when that moment hits, it's amazing. :)

7:32 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

So you, I'm looking for you...
Current mood: nostalgic
Category: Life

Lots of memories here. I think after this one, I'm going to end the little journey through my music... it's actually starting to get a bit emotional. It crossed over the point of just being a trip down memory lane... suddenly I'm delving into all of these related thoughts, emotions, events, people... a little too deep there.

I still love this song, though. There have been times when I didn't. But in the end, I still wonder if my early stuff was some of my best.

(I've decided that some of the bulletins I post should be blog entries... I'm not sure why.  But I'd like to start blogging more often.  Shorter, with little bits and pieces of things, and not always just updates on the "band."  We'll see if I continue.  For a little explanation, though, when I wrote this I had iTunes on Shuffle with only my songs up, so I was going through random selections of about the last year and a half of my life.)

11:05 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

...and that's why I didn't go to Magdalena's.
Current mood: paranoid

In sixth grade, my friend Roger randomly asked me what the meaning of life was.  I told him "42," the first random thing that came to my head.  Later, reading The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, I found out that there's a giant computer in the book that determines that the ultimate answer to life, the universe, and everything is 42.

Thursday night, I saw that Daniel had written "I never got the hang of Thursdays..." on his whiteboard.  It was vaguely familiar to me, but I couldn't remember where the quote was from.

Yesterday morning, I woke up and decided that that day would be a feeling day.  I tend to overthink/overanalyze things, which often leads to a lot of good things like self-discovery.  I decided to try not to overthink things, though, and that yesterday would be a strange day where I would just go with what I felt.  Of course, it made little impact for the most part, but it was a bit nice... no big change, just a brief way of looking at things differently.

At lunch, after a pretty normal morning of classes, my friend Alex mentioned that today was apocalypse day.  A couple of us asked what religion believed it, and he said it was just his own feeling (joking around a bit).  "I was doing Calc at 12:05 this morning," he said, "and the answer to the last question, question 42, was 42."  One of Alex's favorite movies is The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and he's been reading the books lately.

After lunch, Alex and I figured out a way to take the numbers in 1/19/2007 and manipulate them to make 42.  I didn't really count that as part of apocalypse day, because I'm sure you could do that with a lot of dates... the possibility was there, though.  Later in that same conversation, Alex and I began reading some things on Daniel's door.  Daniel opened it, and noted something about his whiteboard (others had added onto it since the night before).  "I read that last night," I said, "but I couldn't remember what the quote was from."  Daniel replied, of course, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy."

That afternoon, I heard a lot of random things coming from the hallway.  Honestly, though, that's normal in 2 South Mason.  There was something beyond bizarre about it, though... people were acting more strangely than usual.  It's hard to pinpoint this one, but if you knew these people, and if you were there that day, you would know.  I wasn't the only one to notice.

Later that day, I hung out a bit with Nicole and others.  Nicole and I really clicked again for the first time in a long time, though.  It was just like the beginning of last semester, and there was something wonderful about it.  I'm not really sure why it had been so long since I'd felt that connection, but it was suddenly there again.

We went to dinner, and more people were acting weird.  Same situation - if you were there, you would know, and I wasn't the only one to notice.

After dinner, I hung out with Kelly, Leah, Kristin, and Kelly's friend Jay who we were all meeting for the first time.  I got a call from Sophie.  She was wondering about the show at Magdalena's Tea House - what time it was, where, how much, etc.  She was planning on going with Meg and Michelle, but Meg and Michelle had changed their minds at the last minute for no clear reason.  Suddenly they wanted to be somewhere else.  I told Sophie it was fine if she didn't go - it sounded like she didn't want to.  So she decided not to.

I left Leah's room about half an hour before the show to brush my teeth, get my guitar, and head down to Magdalena's.  Walking down the hall, I got a terrible feeling in my stomach.  I couldn't describe it.  It could have just been nerves, but I've played three shows and an open mic recently without a feeling at all similar.  I kept going through the motions, because I've been looking forward to this show for about a week now.  I couldn't shake the feeling, though.  And I had decided that it would be feeling day... don't think, just feel.  And I hadn't really felt anything all day.  I can't say I believe fully in fate, signs, even God... but I still put my faith in things sometimes.  I would only be involved in the show if I showed up... essentially, a lot of songwriters got together and were playing, and I got a message from Chris, the organizer, saying if I still wanted to show up he would probably just call me up at some point to play a song or two.  Nobody was expecting me to be there, as much as I had at first really wanted to go.  So I went back to Leah's room, and spent the night talking with them and others.

We played board games in Kelly's new room for most of the night.  We had a wonderful time.  It was a nice place to be awaiting the apocalypse... not the best, maybe, but it was nice just spending a laid back Friday night with friends.

Kelly had chocolate fortune hearts in her room, and gave one to each of us.  Mine said "Keep your plans secret."  Alex's said that too (different Alex this time).  Jay's said "Time will reveal all things."

Jay was heading back to his dorm at one point, and sent Kelly a text message: "The lights just went out as I walked by the soccer field.  Apocalypse?"  We were still all joking about it.  It was a fun thing to joke and talk about.

There were just moments throughout yesterday that were very unnerving, though.  Despite the joking... weird, unexplainable feelings are always unnerving.

We made it through apocalypse day, though.

Today, however, John posted a bulletin.  John often has feelings, premonitions... just things that turn out to actually mean something.  He's gotten a sudden terrible feeling in the pit of his stomach and known exactly what happened before finding out later that he was absolutely right.  Today, he said, he was shaking and he just had a terrible feeling.   He asked everyone to stay safe, and to tell people that you love them.  That's genuinely scary to me.

(This started out as a message to someone... I tried to cut it up a bit, add details where needed, take out the parts specifically to the person I sent the message to... I think it turned out okay, but sorry if it didn't make sense.  I just felt the need to put this up somewhere.)

Currently listening : How the Lonely Keep By Terminal Release date: 28 June, 2005

12:01 PM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment