Keith Richards & Ron Wood - 'S-T-E-R-E-O' Promo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7sDGRhP7fk

KEEF & RONNY!

12:56 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Back in the city...

I just came back from London and Florida. London was business, and Florida was a stolen 5 days in a 59 dollar a night hotel room on the beach. I heartily recommend getting away at a moment's notice and at every opportunity -- especially if you ever find yourself living with and caring for your lovely 83 year old dad in the apartment that you grew up in as a kid...

The best thing about London was they put me in this hotel that had a shower with 12 heads and mood lighting that shot out hot water and "special herbs from the Amazon". Unfortunately, London is now so expensive and the U.S. Dollar so weak that I couldn't afford to do anything except take that same free shower over and over again.. In Florida one night, I saw God in the electrified moonlight dancing on the incoming midnight waves. Sober, yes. I choose to call it God because I want to remember the feeling the experience engendered in me. That, and the fact that I think it WAS God saying hi to me. It felt like a genuine experience to me. I was glad to have had it...

Back in the real world, I'm broke and in debt and i just got fired from a job that I should have completed over a year ago. I wish someone had impressed upon me that it's far better to get fired AFTER you've been paid -- but I probably wouldn't have listened anyway. The fact is they waited and waited and I just never wrote the thing. I haven't had a day job in 7 years, maybe remembering what that is will scare some sense back in me ( "Yes, I'd be DELIGHTED to wrap that up to-go for you") ...

On that note, I read a great definition of "Flow" in some sports magazine, and it moved me enough that I wrote it down and put it on my bulletin board:

Flow: the ecstatic expansion of consciousness that releases one from the self and produces crowning moments of creation and performance.

I guess that's all I got.

They're doing JUDAS at the Almeida in London this spring if anyone's out there. Rupert Goold is directing. They're also doing JUDAS again out in L.A. and in a bunch of little theaters around the way -- including Philly next weekend i think...

My new play, THE LITTLE FLOWER OF EAST ORANGE, goes up at the Public in March. I'm on page 46 I think. Please come if you can. There will be rush tix. My company, LAByrinth, really needs the support. Everyone thinks since we're at the Public and Phil is the artistic director that we must be golden, but the truth is we're in big debt and are struggling to stay alive. So again, come out if you are able.

Be well

11:24 PM - 6 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment

21 Memorable Film Performances (plus 1)

I'm supposed to be writing right now, but I'm fuckin' setting the world's Procrastination record instead. And so, this little list, which begs the question: Who the fuck should care what film performances I've liked? I don't even care right now, I'm just trying to do something to take my mind off of what i'm NOT doing. But maybe you're not doing what you're supposed to be doing right now either, and thus, a little distraction for you equals a passable excuse for me. So, this list is off the cuff; i have scarily little memory left on account of too many reckless adventures with mass quantities of brain-harmful substances in my misguided past, and so, this list will probably be, i don't know, not good? Laughable to a film afficianado? Inconsequential? Who the fuck cares. I'll prolly leave a lot of people out who should be in -- and vice-versa...Alright, here's some performances that have stuck with me MINUS the work of DeNiro, Duvall, Streep, Pacino, Nicholson, Hoffman, Brando, and all those British actresses young and old who rock the house (except one)... And the great Sean Penn. And Mickey Rourke -- so good and so bad and so much cooler than Fonzy..... O.K., in no particular order:

1. BOB HOSKINS in Mona Lisa: Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.

2. BRENDA BLETHYN in Secrets and Lies: Also beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.

3. DIANNE WIEST and HOWARD ROLLINS JR. in Drunks: In a film that showcases great ensemble acting and great monologues, their work was so simple, painful, deep, true, and breathtaking, that I literally forget I'm watching acting every time I see it.

4. TEMUERA MORRISON in Once Were Warriors: The scene where he chops down the tree with his bare hands. Rage and Grief and Self-Hatred and Guilt and Primal Screams of Mourning... It's some drop the popcorn shit.

5. ALBERT FINNEY AND TOM COURTENAY in The Dresser: Can't be beat.

6. WESLEY SNIPES in The Waterdance: The scene where the male nurse has to put him back to bed after his wife and child visited and it was a disaster. There is a moment in that scene when Snipes, drunk and in pain and utterly desperate for human contact, won't let go of the male nurse that is helping him into his hospital bed that is just such evidence of the actor Snipes could have been. It's heartbreaking -- still one of my favorite moments in film. Another great performance in this so-so movie is given by the out of his mind, but somehow always stellar William Forsythe -- another guy who could've been great.

7. PETER O'TOOLE in The Stuntman: one of the most under-rated, under the radar movies i've ever seen. Yeah, he's been greater in other things, but I love him in this. You gotta love a performance where the actor is completely unconcerned about being liked, yet he's so damn charming that he knows you're gonna like him anyway...

8. KATHERINE HEPBURN in Guess Who's Coming to Dinner: That speech where she tells Spencer Tracy he's a bigger man than how he's behaving... All love and all truth. Tracy was dying when they made the movie, and they both knew it, and that scene was just her LOVE ODE to him captured forever on celluloid. Flawless.

9. SHIRLEY MacLAINE in, yeah, Terms of Endearment: I'm a girl. I admit it. But I don't know of many male actors (or female ones) who could've pulled off that performance with as much complexity, craft, and spirit as she did. There's not a frame in that film where she's not completely invested.

10. PAUL NEWMAN in Cool Hand Luke: Not just perfectly cast, but perfect. He was perfect in that movie. As was George C. Scott & Jackie Gleason in supporting roles in ANOTHER perfect Newman performance in "The Hustler". And for that matter, when Newman finally won an Oscar for 'Color of Money", a lot of people called it his "Consolation Oscar". But if you look at his work in that film, it was fairly perfect as well. In fact, I find the guy pretty much perfect all-around. Maybe the very best Movie Star Actor of all-time. And if that's so, it's because he is blessed not just with talent and those blues eyes -- but with real Humility as well. I think he carries a secret with him -- and I think that secret is that he afraid he sucks. I love Paul Newman. I love his movies. He's come to two of my plays, and he always talks to the cast after, and he's a big supporter, but i've never talked to him. I got him a water for Joanne Woodward once. He said; "Thanks". I said; "You're welcome". But that was it. I was afraid to say more. However, he was in the audience once on the night that i brought my father. My father saw that Paul Newman was there, and though my dad still worried about me making a living, I could tell that the fact that Paul Newman was there at my play somehow told my father that I must be doing something right and that things for me might turn out okay. That was one of the few moments in my life with my dad and in the Theater where I allowed myself to feel Proud. It was a good night. I fuckin' love Paul Newman. And I love my dad.

11. CHRIS COOPER in A Time To Kill: That scene on the witness stand. He was so good in that movie, that I thought he was a really well-cast local hire -- until I saw that scene. Brilliant actor.

12. FRANCIS McDORMAND in Mississippi Burning: Just like with Chris Cooper, I was, like, who the fuck is this?! And, of course, she went on to be brilliant in everything.

13. CARY GRANT, particularly in The Front Page and The Philadelphia Story: What he makes look easy and breezy is just NOT that easy. My mom used to take us to see the old movies down at this old theater called The Regency. If it was an Errol Flynn, Gene Kelly, or Cary Grant movie, i was happy. Fred Astaire -- not so much.

14. JIMMY STEWART in Mr. Smith Goes To Washington: What can i say? I fell for it hook, line, and sinker. To this day, I still wanna believe that Our Government can someday be led by mostly honest men.

15. SAM ROCKWELL in "Box of Moonlight": I still haven't seen "Lawndogs", but if you ever want to see a young actor give an absolutely star-making performance in a film that wasn't seen enough to make him a star, than this is it. Funny, sad, vulnerable, truthful, and totally FREE.

16. RICHARD FARNSWORTH in The Straight Story: My favorite David Lynch film, and I know that makes me uncool or unintellectual or something. Another dying actor giving a career defining performance. Beautiful performance. And beautiful work by Lynch -- it's him at his benevolent best.

17. ISABELLE ADJANI and GERARD DEPARDIEU in Camille Claudel: I love this movie. I love them together. I love Gerard in all of the 5 and a half BILLION films he's done. I love that Adjani is acting against one of the best actors in the world and kicks his ass. And I love the story. Rodin an shit. And, yeah -- she's completely flawlessly gorgeous, but still, she really is a fine actor -- and outstanding in this film. Blood and Guts.

18. JEAN-HUGHES ANGLADE in KILLING ZOE: Better known and regarded for other films, but I thought he made a great and inspired bad guy in this movie, and i got a real fuckin' kick out of listening to him try to speak english. For some reason I remember him more for this then for Betty Blue. A great, charismatic actor in french or english.

19. MICHAEL GAZZO in The Godfather Part II: Love this guy. Love Frankie Five Aces. You gotta be something to steal scenes from Brando. And also a playwright. Remember 'Hatful of Rain" from acting school? Rest in Peace. A great actor.

20. PHIL HOFFMAN in Happiness, Almost Famous, and Capote: He's great in everything, I may have even loved him more in other things, so why these three? Hmmm. Well, in "Happiness", i remember the scene on the couch with Lara Flynn Boyle. I actually forgot I was in a movie theater and thought i was watching a play -- I actually thought I was in a theater looking at a stage where what was happening in front of me was ACTUALLY happening. And i wasn't stoned... That was the only time i've ever had the experience of an actor seemingly transcending celluloid... In "Capote", he just completely and seemlessly transformed. It was superior craft turned into fine art. With "Almost Famous", i don't know, I just loved his work in it. His role in that film had a very specific function, and he carried out that function in such a thoughtful and efficient manner that he made Plot scenes feel like Character scenes. And he brought such world-weary, cynical yet optimistic love and lonely simplicity to the role of Lester Bangs. In another actor's hands, that role might not have worked so well. I don't know. I just like it.

Lastly:

21. PETER SELLERS in Being There: That genius word gets thrown out too liberally in this day and age, but -- GENIUS. Indisputable. Not to mention the Pink Panther movies -- some of my happiest moments as a kid.

and one more:

22. SEAN PENN in Bad Boys: I know I said he wouldn't be on this list. But his performance in this little B-Movie helped re-inforce for me my over-riding desire to be an actor some day. I saw that movie when i was a kid w/ a bunch of friends on a sunday night, and afterward, everybody went to the park to get stoned and hang out, and i pretended like i had to go home, but instead i sat on a bench on an island on Broadway and smoked a pack of Marlboros and thought about the movie and about acting and i just sat there and smoked... and dreamed.

7:07 PM - 3 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment

Top 13 inspiring Stage Performances

1. John Malkovich in Burn This: my little sister bought me a ticket to see this. i was a freshman in college. the memory of his performance kept me going for years. he was on fire, electric, and in full command. probably still my favorite stage performance ever. it was worth it to try to be an actor if i could someday do THAT.

2. Mark Ruffalo in This is our Youth: a fucking gift. i was in acting school then. and like malkovich, watching ruffalo was a revelation. seemless. flawless. and free.

3. Elizabeth Franz in Death of a Salesman: her work in the last scene of that play at her husband's grave is maybe the most moving acting i have ever seen. ever.

4. Phil Hoffman as Lee in True West (final preview). And as Austin (final weekend): i've seen every play phil's done except The Seagull cuz i was in L.A. then. Best Actor of our Generation in America. No contest. Not Liev. Phil. Hands fuckin' down. when huge talent meets huge work ethic, what you end up with is Phil. i've never seen him fake it. his sense of truth and his straight line pursuit of it is unparalleled. the best.

5. Stockard Channing in Six Degrees of Separation: a grand master of the stage. her last scene when she came downstage and delivered that monologue was absolutely everything you come to a theater in hopes of witnessing. i was stunned.

6. Kevin Spacey in Lost in Yonkers: the first time i saw him in that show, i was in the 3rd row. His performance was incredible, but i remember thinking that his work was so intimate and natural that no one in the balcony would be able to really see it. A couple of months later, i saw the play from the SECOND balcony and he gave the EXACT same performance. i still have no idea how the fuck he did that. the man is a technical wizard of craft.

7. Mercedes Ruhl in The Rose Tattoo: this is one of the most inspiring performances i have ever seen because here was this gifted actor, a woman probably not ideally suited for the role, fearlessly just going for it full throttle, without a net, with everything she had -- and succeeding! it was all guts and tears and muscle and beauty and belief and desire and great fearless acting. it was like seeing jimmy connors play tennis or watching rocky balboa go 15 rounds against the heavyweight champion of the world. she was all heart. and i adored her for it.

8. Anthony LaPaglia in On the Open Road: he wasn't famous then. and he was kind of chubby. i was on a date with this very pretty girl from norway. LaPaglia blew me the fuck away totally, but she wasn't really impressed with the play, and i just wanted to talk about it, and mainly him. i think we went out for a drink after, and if memory serves she was pretty into hanging out -- she wanted to get some tequilla and then go back to her place cuz her roomate was out of town. i'd like to say i just went home alone instead because i wanted to keep re-living the play and LaPaglia's performance, but truthfully, i let go of LaPaglia and went with the girl. But he was amazing. It was one of those experiences where you just think: "who the fuck IS this guy"? it remains one of the best performances i've ever seen. he had wildness and truth in equal measure. and he was funny.

9. DeNiro in Cuba and his Teddy Bear: again, i was a student then. and deniro, obviously, an idol. his performance was great, but what i remember most was watching him rehearse. i was on line for standy tickets, and i got there like 5 hours before curtain. i heard some noise coming from the stage. so i peeked through these two closed doors and i saw deniro alone on stage. he was practicing saying a line while standing up from a chair. i watched him do it like a hundred times in a row for about 45 minutes. i was blown away by that level of preparation. it was endlessly fascinating to peek through those doors and watch him do the same small thing over and over and over and over. it made me work harder for about a week. but i always remember it. who thinks about how to get up from a chair? great actors do. he did. and i got to see it.

10. Michael Rappaport and Kevin Corrigan in The Flatted 5th reading at NYTW: two guys up there kicking fuckin' ass and taking names. and the language in the play (by seth rosenfeld) was so contemporary and rhythmic. i was inspired that there was a playwright out there who wrote the voices i wanted to hear, and Rapaport and Corrigan lived out those voices flawlessly. Kevin Corrigan is a ridiculously talented actor who perhaps isn't at the place his talent deserves because his looks are unconventional. he was, is, and probably will always be a hugely talented and skilled actor. As for michael rappaport -- he was perfection. NO ONE could have done it better that night.

11. Raul Julia in Othello and MacBeth (NYSF): his stage acting was bold and full and vigorous and layered and courageous and always ALIVE and full to bursting with LIFE. will always be a tremendous source of inspiration and light. there's nothing more to say.


11. Eli Wallach w/ Mark Ruffalo (screenplay table reading, 2006): i was lucky enough to be at the table reading one of the parts. it was a long reading. wallach's part didn't come until like an hour in. but then he read these 2 or 3 scenes w/Ruffalo. and he was old, and frail, and tiny, pretty much sickly; but when he started acting -- the color returned to his face and the lights came on in his eyes and he was so incredibly specific and alive and so obviously in love with the art of acting that i just started weeping right there at the table and i didn't even care. it was a privelege to be at that table. it was a testament not only to a tremendous actor, but to the transformative power of living a life in love with the work. He shed 30 years in 30 seconds. and as soon as it was over, he went back to being a frail elderly kind of sickly almost 90 year old man.

12. Eric Bogosian's Pounding Nails Workshop Production at PS. 122: it cost 5 bucks. me and my friend liza sat on cushions 3 feet from the stage (actually, on the stage). Eric was unbelievable. he made me laugh, cry, wince, shout, and think. it was like i was tripping except that i was completely straight. he rocked the house and i immediately went out and got everything Bogosian i could get my hands on. I know Eric now, but he will always be a hero. Sorry Eric. I know you're just a guy. But you're also a hero.

13. Martha Plimptom in Shining City at The Biltmore last season: sometimes an actor in a supporting role comes on and kicks fuckin' ass without trying to show off or make the play about them. they play their scenes so fully and actively and truthfully and commitedly and fuckin' concisely and well that they end up serving the play, their character, and their fellow actors in a manner that is nothing short of what should be, but rarely is, Industry Standard. they end up giving performances that are the definition of what it means to be a feeling, thinking, fully committed professional actor. That's what i saw Martha Plimptom do last season in Shining City. she didn't steal the show. instead, she did something better: She Raised The Bar. it was a lesson, and a redemptive joy to watch.

11:37 PM - 5 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

American Theater Magazine: Me interviewing the great, irascible Bob

This is an very edited version of me and bob talking for American Theater Magazine. His play, Jack Goes Boating, is being published in the mag in the next coupla months. Most of the good stuff I asked isn't here, but it's worth reading cuz Bob is the real deal....

Welcome to the Lonely Tribe

An interview with Bob Glaudini by Stephen Adly-Guirgis

STEPHEN ADLY-GUIRGIS: What moved you to write Jack Goes Boating? I understand your intention was to write something very bitter and dark.

BOB GLAUDINI: Mainly the writing is out of personal concern—ugly relationships, men and women who hate each other. I don't dictate or make a schematic plan, though, and so the characters force themselves into being. As much as I was willing to be bitter, the gentle side of it prevailed.

Q: At what point did you realize that was happening?

A: It became obvious to me when I observed that, surprisingly, people do really try and help and support one another. When that started happening with the characters, I realized it was more or less going to be about people struggling to do the right thing, even though their own natures sometimes prevent them from doing that. I'm not so sure how honest either Clyde or his wife are with each other. I think they try to be, but they have secret lives that perhaps are hinted at in the play.

Q: Their relationship is really juicy stuff.

A: Yeah. Jack and Connie's relationship is really an idealized image for me. I think that they're more messed up than people realize when they watch the play, because they do strive so hard to get together.

Q: How would you track Jack's journey in the play?

A: If he's an egg, there's a crack that lets in some light. Whether or not all will be well—considering the immense problems he has as a developing person—there is at least a kind of revealing to him, a feeling he should make a change in his life. At the end of the play, he has made that hopeful move from being a terribly isolated and lonely person to taking the risk of sharing it with someone. I think there is a loneness that I have, and that other people I know have, that is innate and inescapable. We're in this tribe of the loneliest people on earth.

Q: If that's the tribe that Jack falls into, where does Clyde fall?

A: I think he's in it, too. Probably all of those characters share it, and they operate on the surface in different ways.

Q: I found Lucy to be an extraordinarily well-balanced character—in some ways more sympathetic. What did you draw on?

A: One assumes that it's more acceptable for a male to express himself in terms of his sexuality and infidelity. However, it's my experience that there are women who are equally okay with investigating that side of themselves. Lucy can put things in different compartments. Her extramarital relationship, she feels, doesn't have anything to do with her relationship to Clyde, her husband. That's how she has it in her head. A lot of people are judgmental about that. I think that Lucy has an appetite and is more ambitious in terms of materialistic things—not in a bad way, just in a way that is an activity of her energy, more so than her husband. That's part of the conflict.

Q: I found that to be a sad aspect of her character. It seemed like she could do better, but there was an obstacle in herself.

A: It's very hard to leave someone. It takes a long time. I have no idea about what the outcome will be in terms of their relationship; chances are they don't make it.
In this play, one of the things that is more significantly disturbing, to me and to the characters, is the feeling that someone you're intimate with is going to shut down and stop letting you know what's going on. You can have a series of rude awakenings. It's like finding a Nazi uniform in your aunt's closet. The build-up of that series of disturbances is because the couple has not found a way just to exist without questioning the honesty of each other's actions.

Q: You've been in the business for 40-plus years.

A: I'm 65. I started getting involved in theatre when I was 19 or so. The first play I was involved with was Waiting for Godot in this little basement theatre, and it just kept going from there...I do believe that when you've got this curse to write—or to be involved in some expression that is just fraught with disappointment, but there's nothing you can do about it—it's kind of like a virus. No matter how screwed up I was in my life, I still had something to offer in terms of the theatre. As pessimistic as I might want to be, I'm always struck with the kindness of people. That always allowed me to hang on until I got a second wind. I could never get rid of this existing desire to search for a means of expression, and I think one reason for that may be this constant search for identity we have. I also have three daughters. Each one adds another kind of reality to your life, a certain sense of beauty that, no matter how self-destructive you may be, is stronger than you. You had to really work hard to be in the theatre world in L.A., and I did for many years. But it sort of ran its course, and I found myself in New York and was fortunate enough to hook up with LAByrinth Theatre Company, which has become something of a muse for me. I know that I can write whatever I want and at least get a really good reading out of it from fine actors. It inspires me to write.

Q: From where or what or whom did you learn the most about writing?

A: The first guy was Beckett, so I read everything I could about him. I didn't go to college, so that became my education. When I came to New York I got involved with Theatre Genesis. I acted in and directed a few plays there, a couple of them by Sam Shepard. From Sam, it was his imagination within the space of the theatre—how he saw the theatre within its dimensions.

Q: You directed Shepard and Patti Smith in Cowboy Mouth. We idealize that era. In what ways was it better back then, and in what ways is it actually better now?

A: Well, I don't know if it was better. You've got to realize that no one thought, "Oh, this is the '60s"—that's something that came 20 years later. But there were more venues. There were more opportunities to do things. There was more support for the arts from Rockefeller and the NEA and Guggenheim. You felt then that the political and the cultural were more intertwined. Political movements, youth culture, music and theatre all seemed to be woven together, so the energy was really high, and you felt you were doing it because the community wanted it. Today I'm working with more disciplined and focused people. There are not as many opportunities to do work. People seem to be more ambitious. But my interaction with actors and designers is on a much higher level, in terms of their focus and talent.

Q: How was the process working on Jack with the company?

A: There was a feeling from the first that it was going to go in the right direction. There was a great deal of creative insistence, and the discomfort that you might have when you're working with thoroughbreds. It's also a company that's been together and known each other, so the seriousness could change to bawdy joking at the drop of a hat. I feel that I can do more serious work now than I could then because you can demand it of these people. There's great support in terms of all the staff. The company creates such an atmosphere that the lighting or set person doesn't feel like they can't contribute. Sometimes you don't find that in theatre productions.

Q: Alright then. Should we get the fuck outta here now?

A: Okay.

Q: I love you, Bob.

A: And I you.

2:37 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

My Forward to Fr. Jim's Book on "Last Days of Judas Iscariot"

Have you ever wanted to cross-examine a priest? I
did. Over many lunches and dinners and coffees and
late night phone calls and even later night calls, and
then during early morning meetings after late night
dinners and phone calls. I forcefully, agggrssively,
and desperately cross-examined Father Jim on anything
and everything having to do with Scripture,
Catholicism, The Priesthood, Jesus and Judas, Heaven
and Hell, God's Plan and the Nature of Man -- and then
followed up my questioning with more questions that
had little, if anything, to do with ANY of the above.
I asked many questions that, perhaps, one is not
supposed to ask, and, on occasion, Father Jim would
reply with answers that perhaps he was not supposed to
give. I tried and needed to leave no stone unturned,
and Father Jim, secure in his faith and his
priesthood, never did anything but to supply direct
answers to pointed questions. And he did so kindly,
thoughtfully, and with both a passion for the subject
and with a wealth of COM-passion for me -- his
confused, often irate and disconsalate lapsed Catholic
Interrogator. In short, He was everything that I think
a Priest should be: kind, caring, thoughtful, strong,
unimpeachable -- and up for the challenge. In short, I
very firmly believe that Father Jim is one of Jesus'
true soldiers -- of this i have no doubt. And, trust
me: I'm not the doubt-free type. I drown in doubt, and
to the degree that that's true, Father Jim, from our
very first meeting and right up to today, is very
slowly teaching me to swim.

So anyway, what was it like to work with a Priest on a
piece of Theater? Not wierd at all. What was it like
to bring a Priest to rehearsals and to encourage him
to speak freely and mingle with the cast? It was
common sense. Was it wierd during Performances to have
a Priest hanging around backstage? It was completely
normal. Why was Father Jim made a member of our
theater company? Because he serves a useful purpose
and because we all fell in love with him. So, was it
all just peaches and cream? No, writing and putting up
any kind of play is difficult. This play was
especially difficult to write, direct, act, and
produce. There were problems all the time. All kinds
of problems. In fact, there were so many problems to
tackle that worrying about having a Priest around was
the very least of our worries. The reason things
worked out so well with Father Jim was because he took
off his collar (not literally) and picked up a shovel.
He became a worker among workers -- and very quickly a
friend among friends. The play -- and more importantly
the Experience -- could never have been the same
without him. And along the way, Father Jim
accomplished that thing that I hoped and hope to
accomplish with the play itself -- he got good people
thinking about God again, and even got some back to
the Church. Even me.

Lastly, I remember often asking Father Jim about the
Celibacy thing. He would explain that, yes, there were
times when it felt lonely not to be able to have the
experience of sharing his life and heart with another
person. But he went on to explain that abstaining from
a single, intimate relationship allowed him the time
and freedom to be of greater service to others and to
the community at large. To be part of a larger family.
Celibacy was not a sacrifice, but rather, an
Opportunity. As I write this and reflect on what
Father Jim has given just me and my theater company
alone, I feel a deep sense of gratitude for his
embracing of that sometimes lonely road. And, having
seen him in action, I know that his time with us was
only one part of his day. We were not nearly the only
community being served.

One last thing. I haven't really read this book. I
don't know why, but I just can't. It's hard to be a
character in someone else's story. I have read all his
other books though and I recommend them highly. He
tells a very good story, has an honest and clear
voice, and there's always plenty of gentle humor and
well-balanced food for contemplation and thought. I'm
sure one day I'll sit down and read this one all the
way through. But for now, I am content with my own
memory of the experience of meeting and working and
being befriended and ministered to by Father Jim. I
will always remember that more than just a
"theological advisor", he was a cheerleader, a rabbi,
and a friend during the creation of the The Last Days
of Judas Iscariot. And I will never, ever forget that
when I found out my mom had terminal cancer, I called
him and he was there in 30 minutes. He gave my mother
the last rites (twice), counseled her, visited her,
listened to her, was there for me and my family, and
booked the church and conducted her funeral mass when
she passed. I took care of my mom in many ways -- but
none better than by having a friend like Father Jim to
see her through her Last Days...

P.S -- Don't be afraid to talk to Priests about
serious stuff. And if the first guy you reach out to
doesn't really get it, then ask another. And even
another. My mom used to always say that back in the
day, Priests were our friends. Things may be a little
different now, but perhaps not so much. The best
Priests, like Father Jim, are here to serve, and to
expand their communal life by expanding our spiritual
lives. So reach out and speak your heart. You have a
right to expect answers and assistance. And you may
even make a friend.

Stephen Adly Guirgis
Author; "The Last Days of Judas Iscariot"
May 19, 2007

10:13 PM - 3 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

I MISS MY MOM

i know you were happy with me
i know you were more than happy w/ me
i know you were more than "more than happy" with me
and yet i wish i could have done more

i'm glad i was there for you almost the whole time
i'm glad you knew i was there for you almost the whole time
i'm glad i knew i was there for you almost the whole time
and still, i wish i was there for you the whole time

and even though i was there for you
and even though i slept in a cot next to you
or in a chair
or not at all
i wish i was there when you passed and i wasn't...

and i know it's ok
and i know it's more than ok
and i know it's more than "more than ok"
and i'm grateful
and i'm glad
and i'm still sad

i miss you, mom.
my heart.
you taught me all i need to know

5:10 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

my monologue from FIRED! (Second Stage, 2004 & 2005/documentary film 2007)

IN DEFENSE OF MY FORMER EMPLOYERS. BY STEPHEN ADLY GUIRGIS

the day i graduated from the 8 th grade ( i was 12), my mom took me aside and broke the news: i would have to get a job for the summer. "How do you get a job?", i asked -- shocked. "You just walk into a store, say you're looking for a job, and that you're honest, reliable, and will always be on time"... 3 lies, as it turned out. That summer, i was fired and rehired 3 times by the same Ice Cream Shop -- And thus, the oddysey began.
i have held a vast array of jobs since that summer -- and have been fired from a disproportionate amount of them. A quick rundown: Bike messenger-- fired for losing two packages on the same day, Bartender-- fired for being, quote; "His least valuable employee", Waiter-- fired for telling the chef to "go fuck his mother", Waiter Again -- fired for telling a customer to go fuck his mother, Baskin Robbins Ice Cream Scooper -- fired for believing myself capable of scooping ice cream while high on LSD, Haagen Daaz Ice Cream Scooper -- fired for -- while high on quaaludes -- "Failure to be awake", Writer -- fired for not writing, Pizza maker -- fired for making consistently geometrically-challenged pizzas, Computer Person -- fired for not knowing how to turn on the computer, and lastly --and believe me, i say "lastly" purely in the interests of time -- Handy Man -- i was neither.
For every firing, a reason, and for every reason a firing. However, i was never fired for the offense i was most guilty of: the offense of robbing mothahfuckahs blind and without mercy. Particularly in the restaurants and bars, of which i've worked in maybe 20. ..... So If there are any restaurant owners in the house tonight, i would like to offer you a little tip: If you are good to your employees, if you treat them with dignity and respect, they may rob you a little and feel guilty about it, but if you are an asshole -- if you're an asshole -- believe me -- they'll be looking to do this (OBSCENE GESTURE) every chance they get. And they will have no remorse. And i'll tell you something else: i don't fuckin blame them. I had no remorse, and even when i did have remorse, it couldn't stop my thirst for comeuppance. And i'll give you another tip: Your best employees? The ones who say "Yes, Mr. So and So", "Oh, but of course Mr. So and So", "I'll get right on that, Mr. So and So" -- those are the ones who are gonna do this (GESTURE) the hardest. As soon as your fuckin back is turned, one second after you walk out the fuckin door -- BANG (GESTURE). DOUBLE BANG . And you know what? You deserve it. I don't care that you don't ACTUALLY deserve it. As a 20 year veteran of the restaurant business, I've witnessed enough mind-numbing disregard for basic human decency -- downright low down petty cheap ass arrogant bully-ass evil shit -- evil -- no other word for it -- on the part of some restaurant owners and general management that i can say only this: If you DON"T want to be robbed , try to avoid the following: don't fuck the cocktail waitress from Indiana and then fire her on her birthday, don't fire the 3 foot 8 dishwasher from Mexico who works 96 hours a week for 4 dollars an hour for breaking a rack of glasses, don't steal the Equadorian chef's reciepe's and then publish a cookbook with your face on the cover, don't call 3 day old hamburgers and some cold fries a "Staff Meal", "Shift Pay" is not a theory, Payday is not optional, Having a job is NOT a Christmas Bonus, and, above all, TIP -- even if you own the place -- especially if you own the place --cuz when you sit down with a party of six, you must fucking tip -- and tip well -- or face the consequences every fuckin' day till you wake up and have the good sense to fire my ass -- because in the meantime and inbetween time, i will steal everything not nailed down not just to get back at you, but because i have now convinced myself that "I'm entitled"...and it doesn't matter that this ultimately hurts me more than you, it in fact, only compounds the problem, because now, the only way i can feel better about feeling bad is by buying myself things. And things cost money -- and who has money? You do, you miserable, chintzy slavedriving bastard. So please -- fuck me more so i can fuck you -- so i can hate you almost more than i hate myself for working for you and stealing your fucking toilet paper, you cheap ass mean motherfucker!.....
Now, The Last time i ever got fired -- not counting recently, when i was fired as a writer for not writing, which, to me, is a perfectly acceptable reason for being fired -- anyway -- the last time i ever got fired -- besides the Writer Firing -- which, i was delighted, and yet still indignant and even hurt, even though i had done practically no work, which, -- anyway --last time fired, i got fired from a bartending job on Christmas Eve night by the most miserable man i have ever met and ever hope to meet -- the only human being i have ever come close to hating. This is a man whose middle name should have been vile, petty, piece of fuckin shit. This is a man who i never met anybody -- anybody anybody anybody including his own wife and children who did not detest him with great fervor. This is the man who would've broken Ghandi -- and sent Mother Teresa off looking for a double barrel sawed off shot gun. A truly and unrepentantly unpleasant human restaurant owning person. Anyway, After he dismissed me on Christmas eve night with a smirk -- a man i had worked for for 4 years -- and had served extremely well despite my constant and unrepentant theft -- i went downstairs to change. i came back up and shook his hand goodbye -- my movements ginger lest he hear the clang clang of all the bottles of wine and jack daniels i had crammed into my knapsack. i went home and drank -- contemplating my uncertain future. A week or so later, i got a job at a new restaurant -- a nice restaurant with nice people and decent management and pretty girls and big tips in a cool neighborhood with cool people and good food that we were allowed to eat, and celebrities and shit.... i quit after two weeks -- the job was the problem, not who i was working for. I was the problem -- the misery completely self-inflicted. a moment of clarity which ultimately led me to here...tonight.
Actually, i was fired one more time. a co-starring role in a minor independent film that came out a few years back. They fired me a few days before the first day of shooting. it was my big break. i was devastated. friends consoled me with their "getting fired" stories -- but the consoling didn't work. they were all working... With, like Al Pacino and shit. i was an actor in my early thirties with no credits. what happened? i wrote a play. and i didn't write a first play, because anybody can do that and i already had. I wrote a second play. And that's the only reason i get to stand up here and talk shit. And now i'm acting again too. And i don't work in a restaurant anymore. And i don't kid myself that i'm not lucky as hell. cuz i am. In the end, friends, I believe two things: as long as there are nyc restaurant owners, there will be rampant theft and quiet and not so quiet misery and degradation, and, i also believe this: GETTING FIRED IS GOD'S WAY OF SAYING: HEY! DUMB-ASS! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING SOMETHING ELSE.

5:37 AM - 6 Comments - 9 Kudos - Add Comment

an old essay from IN ARABIA WE'D ALL BE KINGS in London (2003)

God Bless That Sinking Feeling
Evening Standard (London) April 25th, 2003
by STEPHEN ADLY GUIRGIS


A short time ago, I got a job writing on a TV series about cops that was being shot here in New York. The head writer/producer was a guy who had won every television award that exists and was a millionaire literally hundreds of times over. He was also, unlike most people in television, truly brilliant. He had been an esteemed professor of literature at Yale before he came to television, and most of our conversations involved him quoting Greeks philosophers and early English poets and me nodding my head eagerly and trying to act as if I had even the slightest notion what he was talking about. One day, we were riding in his stretch limosine to a location in Brooklyn where a scene from the show was being shot. We found ourselves stopped at a traffic light in front of a seedy, flophouse welfare hotel -- a bottom of the barrel, last-stop hell hole. He turned to me and said; "my secret fear is that I'll end up dying alone in a place like that"...I was too intimidated by him at the time to confess that I felt the same way, and it wasn't until later, when I learned that he was a recovering addict, that I could understand how such a brilliant genius gazillionaire could actually belive that he'd ever sink to a level where he could credibly meet that kind of fate. It also helped me to understand how a guy who lived in a big mansion in Hollywood and who thought nothing of tipping a waiter a hundred dollars for a cup of coffee could write so realistically about the streets.
When I wrote my play, In Arabia We's All Be Kings, I lived in a renovated, government subsidized hotel in Times Square that was a cleaned-up cousin to that Brooklyn flophouse. My neighbors were the mentally ill, the formerly homeless, H.I.V. patients, and a few scattered artists whose utter lack of success in their field allowed them the opportunity to live there for cheap rent. By day, I worked as a Violence Prevention Specialist and as an H.I.V. Educator in New York City prisons, shelters, and mental hospitals using theater and improvisation as a tool to foster discussion with the clients about things like conflict resolution and how to protect themselves from sexually transmitted disease. By night, I persued my dream-- the theater -- auditioning, working as an actor, director, ticket taker -- whatever I could wrangle. It was hard. I went to bed most nights feeling I had a lot more in common with the citizens of my day job than with the citizens of my dreams. Even now, bathed in the success of having productions of my plays running simultaneously on three continents, I feel like the distance between me and my former clients is closer to a yard than a mile.
I am a guy who has been blessed. If I die alone in some sad Brooklyn flophouse, it will probably only be because I stubbornly willed it to happen out of fear and despair and a complete submission to the depression I struggle with and the periodic dalliances with various addictions that I continue to dance with. I was born smart and with some talent. But the true blessings in my life -- the blessings that have sustained me and allowed to me to thrive -- are the following: I was raised by patient,loving parents; I was born, I believe, with an irresistable calling to the theater which has sustained me through the most troubled times; and lastly, I became a part of a theater company -- The LAByrinth -- which encouraged me to write and to keep writing, and whose members have believed in me when I couldn't tolerate believing in myself.
Anybody who has ever earned a paycheck doing social work will probably tell you the same thing: you go in there thinking you're going to "teach" them something, and you leave having been taught more than you ever could have imagined. I remember an impromptu discussion about religion that took place at a workshop I led at a jail for teenagers called Spofford in the Bronx which prompted a tough little gang-banger to relate the following; "Religion is for people who want to get to Heaven. Spirituality is for people who already been to hell". The anger, the tears, the simultaneous existence of fleeting hopes and crushing despair that enveloped the rooms and cells I spent time in don't leave me. I hope they never do. I am in love with the language of the street. I mourn the wasted lives I continue to encounter. I am angry that we, me, allow ourselves to create distance from those people less fortunate who, I believe, we ultimately fear because we see ourselves in them. Some day I'll stop writing about the streets. My new play in New York, Our Lady of 121st Street, is, in fact, populated with characters who actually have jobs, but people on the edge of disaster will continue to inspire and fascinate me. I'm still learning how to write plays, but I know that high-stakes lives in high-stakes predicaments makes for exciting theater.
My old boss, the Hollywood gazillionaire, once quoted something that continues to haunt me. He said; "For every writer who fails for lack of talent, there are a thousand who fail for lack of character". For better or worse, in success or failure, I struggle to live and to continue to write in the hopes of escaping my potential fate as a characterless failure.

5:32 AM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Mark Hammer R.I.P.

As an actor, Mark is irreplacable -- how you gonna
replace "Hammer-Time"? and, yo, i know a lot of you
remember how Mark got that nickname. Centerstage. In
Arabia. Summer of '99. Hammer would get to the theater
early, order the same pre-show meal from the diner
every night: cheeseburger deluxe and 4 mountain dews.
after chowing down, he would hit the centerstge
bathroom for his pre-show sit down and KA-PLOW-- and
those who were there no i'm not exaggerating -- my man
would blow the doors off the hinges -- he'd drop a
Hammer-Time nightly that could hospitalize small
children and have grown men running... and we loved
him so much we thought it was funny. we'd be singing
that MC Hammer song, Russell'd be doing that dance...
Mark's performance in that show was so fine, really a
treasure. and it was so hot that summer and he never
wanted the air conditioner on cuz he felt the show was
better without it. Mark was brilliant in that show,
and his quiet leadership and zest for the work helped
us gel and mature as actors and workers in the theater
and as a company that summer. and, for me, as a young
playwright, Mark and his work as Sammy was a gift i
can't ever fully measure or re-pay. he made me better
than i was. and he moved me and inspired me every
night.
it's very sad that he's gone. and it's very sad
that he didn't live longer. he had one leg in Arabia,
and no legs by Our Lady. but can you think of anyone
-- really anyone -- who had more passion for acting,
more affinity for the stage, and more love for actors?
he filled his years with his passion and with his
love. remember the fuckin' snowstorms and ice during
Our Lady at Union Square? Mark driving in with that
fuckin van with the hand gears EVERY NIGHT? you
remember when he was hospitalzed at the Intensive and
all he was worrying about was making fuckin' rehearsal
in the morning? Mark was a man in love. and despite
all the physical obstacles, "a man in love" is a
pretty great state to exist in. He loved his work. He
loved to teach. He loved to watch work. He loved to
write about it. He loved to think about it, read about
it, talk about it -- he was a Man In Love. his life
was shortened -- no doubt -- but it was full and
generous and useful and committed.
i will miss dearly dearly dearly the opportunity to
work with him again. i remember he wasn't well enough
to do Judas, and i thought; "ok, the next one then". I
will miss watching him on stage. I will miss making
little jokes with Phil about his little periodic
Hammer antics in rehearsal or performance. Hammer had
to work hard in Our Lady. i rememeber it didn't all
come easy: the lines, the actions, his health. but
that mothahfuckah busted his ass, and again, his
performance was just beautiful. i always loved to
watch him and Cephus knock that ball back and forth.
And when he took that stage in Act II, the
mothahfucker took it! stopped the show. and the image
of Hammer as Father Lux leading that prayer w/ russel
and ron and felix always just moved me so much. and
Hammer always earned that moment. he always made me
feel so proud. and he inspired me.
mark was a beautiful guy. i hope he and my mom are
upstairs having lunch, talking about theater or
something. As a company member, he was and is
irreplacable. There is no other Mark Hammer -- as an
actor or as a person. His loss is our loss. He was
our friend. We gave him to him, and he gave back. He
was a brother. I hope i always remember his example.
He was a beautiful man. And obviously ,we all feel the
same. Let's do good work. That's what Mark would wanna
see. Let's keep doing the work... stephen

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