Hello. I was going to do this whole blog of people marching and photoshop a bunch of animated marching legs onto the photos I'd taken in March - it seemed funny to me at the time in my half-anaesthetic-vague-brain state but in the end it seemed too easy and too much work at the same time - but instead, I give you this......
All the gory parts of March, the drunken rampages, the animals, the people - the highlights....
SATURDAY 1
THURSDAY 6
SATURDAY 8
MONDAY 10
FRIDAY 14
WTF......
SUNDAY 16
SUNDAY 23
Simone and I have been looking after her parents dogs on occasion - this is Roxy (Staffy x and Jack Russel) and Sparky's (Maltese x Chihuahua) first little doggy holiday with us. I'm pretty sure they enjoyed the walks and the beach, although I'm not so sure they enjoyed the water much, or the fact that I wouldn't share my chips.
MONDAY 24
Bathtime for Roxy (aka Keg On Legs) and Sparky (Scared Weird Little Guy)
FRIDAY 28
After many drinks at the Prince Albert Hotel, I find myself walking with Cody across towards the Cranka (no idea why) at god knows what hour - 2, 3am?. Along the way I push him up (and back down) a "rampulator" before pushing him into a tree. We stop for a pie floater (half end up on his pants curtousy of moi)....
....then onwards to the Cranka where I'm not allowed in due to my intoxication - could have had something to do with laying down on the footpath at the feet of security. Don't really recall much else except something about laying in a gutter while Cody pulled my pants off.
Thanks to Spoz for those photos, and this too.......ouch........
SUNDAY 30
Sparky is a weird dog. He has his own character but he's the weirdest, most nervous, little thing. He's also got some pretty crazy (yet sparce) hair going on which often needs a cut. We thought it would be a good idea that we gave him a haircut before the dogs went back home. Hey, what about a blue mohawk!
Before tackling February, I have a confession to make. I forgot to post Texas' birthday!!! I can't believe I forgot. In short, this is how it went.....
SUNDAY 27 JANUARY We threw Texas a birthday party!
We invited his (and our) friends around, including Pancake!
And after we had some cake....
We went to town to get pissed! I'm not sure how tampons came into into it.
There was dancing....
Friends....
And crazy good times!
And of course, there was pleanty of drinking....
Here's to Texas Love Cat! And to Simone's breasts!
And now to February....
FRIDAY 1 - BIG DAY OUT
This year I decided to start a new Big Day Out tradition for myself - the morning swim. It was a freakin' awesome way to start the day, seriously.
And this year was also the first time I joined in on the Big Day Out Breakfast. Awesome.
And the rest, well, it's the Big Day Out. It's old news, even more so now as I post this 6 months behind. But as I look over the pictures as I resize and compress for publication (almost to the point that they aren't worth posting anymore) I remember the day that was. The people, the music, the smells, the sights, everything about it is worth tucking away in the memory for rerunning in those moments of sadness or boredom or whatever. For me, this time, for when I'm recovering from surgery, and a time when I'm trying to reinspire my musical creativity.
SATURDAY 16 - SIMONE AGING
Simone turns.... older!
Simone is awesome, all the time, no matter what. That's why it's so great to celebrate her. Three cheers for Simone!
To start off, we played a few games. See if you can play with us....
Spot the 3 differences between the following 2 pictures!
You were correct if you said: 1. The first one is a cat 2. There is a pair of Joe's underwear over the mirror in the first picture 3. Joe looks more stupid than Texas
Simone made her own long skirt for occasion.
Multiple choice - Tonight Simone looks a) very pretty; b) beautiful as always; c) all of the above.
Multiple choice - Tonight Joe is a) surfing on a bench b) drinking a bottle of alcohol out of a red plastic bag c) laying a borry d) looking really stupid.
After dinner at T-Chow with a small group of friends, we headed down to the Fringe's Garden of Unearthly Delights to soak in some atmosphere.
The following photo shows this in what way? You were correct if you said: 1) other people making us look some what normal by dancing where there is no music 2) in a 320x240 pixel JPG compressed down to 25.1kb. 3) sparkly lights and shiny things made blurry by the point above.
'Night!
SATURDAY 29
2008 is a leap year, so February 29 doesn't some around too often, which is good reason to celebrate! Although who really needs a reason these days? Saturday 29 is also the night we head to the Zoo for some stand up comedy as part of the Fringe Festival. Cody and Tania join us for the laughs as we enjoy Dave Callan and Mickey D.
To kick things off, Simone and I grab dinner at Burp Buritto - burrito and Pacifico!
Set amongst the trees and animals enclosures of the Zoo, the show provides much entertainment to all attending. But for those playing at home, there's a little more going on.
What's happening here? a) A tree is lit by green light b) Aliens have landed and set up camp in Mickey D's hair. c) My sinuses have been injected with a glowing green dye enabling you to see the destruction of last years Drinks Count.
And what is Dave Callan doing here? a) Smoking some "wacky tobacci" in an effort to fit in with the SA crowd b) Signalling "no deal" for Channel 7's Deal Or No Deal c) Explaining how one blows smoke up someone's arse (just before blowing smoke up the zebra's arse behind him)
The night continues to roll on, as do the "Blackouts" we purchased earlier from Woolworths Liquor - feels like we're 18 again, drinking in the park! ..
After the show we head for a quiet stroll up to North Terrace to check out the "Northern Lights"
For what was going to be a "few quiet drinks" before heading home (Hi Spoz!), you could say the night was a spiralling war zone of Rock Paper Scissors, Smirnoff Black Ice, shots, dancing, a scarfe and a massive chunder shot to clear the stomach for more.
Simone and I have been (although not so much lately) playing a drinking game of Rock Paper Scissors. It's a super fast game that doesn't let up until one person finishes their drink, which in most cases only takes 5-10 minutes (and then you play again). The idea is that you engage in the RPS game as normal, the loser immediately taking a drink then returning straight back into the next hand, and so on, and when playing with "Black Outs", the night quickly becomes a rampagingly drunk one.
Simone keeps it fresh
And speaking of fresh, it's about this time ye ol wind of Spoz blows through the doors and joins us for a round of Rock Paper Scissors
And with that effort above, we all lose
Ok, now what's wrong in this picture? Is it: a) Although my hair is getting long, it's still too short compared to these other two Cousin Its b) Spoz is not wearing his asparagus hair tie, as seen around his hand c) Simone's not wearing any pants
IT'S ALL OF THE ABOVE! Throw a party!
All that demented mummy dancing got me thinking..... no wait, just hurling......
And here ends February, somewhere in the early hours of March, way above the drunken mess of Adelaide, quietly quietly napping on a boardroom table...
Stay tuned.....
(insert the sound of crickets and a dead still air)
Hello? Is anybody still out there?......... Anyone?.......
where a man with a chair for an arm, who for the sake of the story we will call Cody, finds himself becoming drunk. Again.
It lights a fire in his pants.
Cody claims to have an unmatched ability to pull all the hot chicks
Unfortunately for him, one of the ladies would rather nuzzle up besides another man, whom we will call Joe.
It's also unfortunate that some of the ladies in this story (for example, this lady with the beard) would rather get it on with a burger - no pun intended.
Luckily for Cody, ladies like Tania find him adorable.
So now everyone can party
So what if Joe likes to party without his pants sometimes?
Although the girls are won, the battle of the men is not over. In a challenge of manhod, a drinking contest begins and ends with Joe drinking 6 beers in one go.
Not satisfied, Cody challenges the men in a hog-tie competition.
Cody, being the only man of the group to successfully wrestle a pig before, makes the others just look silly.
And to the victor goes the spoils
The losers have several of their apendages removed by tongs.
Their bodies dumped where no one will find them.
The people cheers and celebrate the winner in a bar across town
which is unfortunately attended by a couple of cock suckers.
They'll tell the girls all sorts of stories about themselves
But the truth is unmistakeable.
As for me, well, you know what they say about guys with big hands.....
After much delay, the results for last year's drink count are in. It was a battle to keep the records as accurate as possible, living by a strict method of recording each drink into my mobile phone as I went, transferring the results to a spreadsheet later on. How does one keep track of drinks when so pissed that you don't remember some of the drinks the day after? It's actually easy. Habit. Persistence. The rest takes care of itself.
1135 - $3104.70
A point to note here before we get too far into the numbers - a drink in this count is not a standard drink. It's more like a 'serve' so 1 schooner is a drink, 1 pint is a drink, 1 Long Island Ice Tea is a drink, etc, I think you get the point. Consider that when you glance over these results and also while you consider the recommended standard drink intake for a person in a night. Consider binge drinking, consider alcoholism, but more importantly, consider not making this a competition and certainly, above all, consider your health.
THE BEER
The big winners of beer are indicated by 93 (Coopers Pale Ale) and 41 (Corona - a suprising second). South Australian icon, Coopers Pale is really no suprise winner in the count, and not suprising that it cost the most. Corona on the other hand I never would have picked and is only up so high because of all the free ones I drank at work - I don't think I would have had more than 2 away from the workplace. Other mentions go to Coopers Lager (23), Tooheys Extra Dry and Becks (19 each), Grolsh (16) and my own effort Hosenbrau (15), which helped run me into the ground at our inaugural Oktoberfest party.
THE SPIRIT
Clearly looking like the leader in the most tallied and most expensive of the drink types, spirits drove my health crazy in 2007. Sure, the 4am drunken Jungry Hacks didn't help much either, but I'm pretty sure that without all the vodka I drank last year (with raspberry-76, with lime and soda-75, with orange juice-74, and lemonade-45, to name a few combinations) my liver, kidneys, and digestive system might not feel so shot now. The fact that drinking only a handful of vodka drinks these days puts my insides into a poisoned, sickening shock for days is indeed quite worrying. The other stand outs of spirits are gin (55 collectively) and suprisingly, bourbons, whiskeys, scotch, etc (not generally a big brown spirits drinker, those ones snuck up all sneaky-like). I think I have my brown-spirit drinking friends to thank for those.
THE PREMIX
Not much to tell here - 51 Stoli' Black Russians (most free from work), 32 Smirnoff Black Ice (a good way to really kick an evening to overdrive), a handful of Cruisers (thanks again work), a few UDL's and a couple of cups of punch (Simone's Oktoberfest Punch!). With 107 drinks only equalling $249, that's not much more than $2 a drink - bargain!
THE SHOTS
Ah, the shot - it could take you one way into a good night or it could take you in completely the opposite direction, a really good night. For some, it's the devil, the thing that you'll regret, the thing that'll fuck you over, but for me, it's the challenge, the explosion, the not knowing what it's going to taste like until it's too late. Unfortunately, it's also an expensive exercise costing me $428, thanks largely to tequila (22 @ $112), followed not far behind by the Cowboy Cocksucker (13 - thankfully all free from Bar 76!) and the Jager Bomb (10). Being one to try many a different drink, as with beer and any other type of drink, many shots scored 1, 2, and 3 but all add up to the 124 total.
THE WINE
I think it's fairly obvious here I'm not much of a wine drinker (at least in 2007 - 2008 has so far seen me drink more wine due to the illness caused by drinking spirits - a real side effect of 2007's effort). Here in 2007, white wine gets the most hits, followed by the sparkling white, red, and funnily enough (or not) Passion Pop in it's own little group at 4.
THE COCKTAIL
Interesting to note that the biggest hit cocktail at 15 (Margarita) was completely free - thanks again work and Social Club for putting on a successful Mexican-themed night - also a night I recall being pretty messy when followed by numerous beers, shots, and spirits, which eventually had me passing out in a stairwell. Second and third goes to Sparkling Pear and the Long Island Ice Tea.
THE TOTALS
For those playing at home, 1135 drinks over 365 days is 3.2 drinks per day, every day. Some will argue that they would drink more than this (I wish them all the luck with their health) but where it means more in my count is that I don't drink every day. Hell, I don't even drink every weekend, which means this: when I do drink, I drink a lot and definitely too much. As seen above, some months are a lot bigger than others. In January and February, for example, I didn't drink at all for 34 days. April also scored fairly low meaning I must have made some pretty good ground on the heavier months.
Lets say I drank two out of three weekends in the year - that's about 34 drinks a weekend on average. That's a lot of drinking in a weekend, especially where some weekend drinking sessions are done in one night with 25-30 drinks. Here's a good time to re-establish that 1 drink here is not necessarily a standard drink. That's a really sobering thought.
The best thing, I think, about these totals is the cost. OK, on the downside, I spent $3104 on alcohol, but on the upside, it could have been a lot, lot more, when you consider a large number of drinks were free. This total cost could have easily climbed into the 6k figures so lets be thankful for that. And I am thankful - thankful to those who shouted the drinks, and those who supply their employees with an amazing amount of drinks - I wonder if they've ever given it this much thought.
THE TRENDS
.....A fairly telling story of my preferred drink type - spirits followed by beer. The thing about this chart though is that it doesn't really show how the trends changed throughout the year. Which leads me to the next two graphs.
Spirits hit pretty high the whole way through 2007 only passed by beer a few times, not suprisingly, in the Summer months. Ah yes, the Summer - the outdoors, the sun, the weather, the beer. It's the warm weather that does it.
In the Winter, spirits have kept me the warmest. Beer just doesn't seem as inviting when it's not sunny and above 25 degrees. Also to note is the rise of the premix drinks (Black Russians and Black Ice) in Winter.
Finally, it's no suprise that the later half of the year boasts some of the highest points in the graph above. Where would we be without the festive season!
I've thrown in the above costings graph to highlight the change in expenditure over the year. I suspect a few factors lead to these. For example, in March I flew to Melbourne to see Helmet and had one of the most expensive drinking nights of the year (Hi Cam!). As the year progressed, so too did the hole in my wallet. In September, something quite important happened, which most definitely played a huge part in buying drinks - Cody moved to Adelaide.
IN CLOSING
When I got to July last year and tallied the results at 434, I felt inspired to crack the 1000. In the end it wasn't that hard at all. In fact, there were a few times later in the year where I took a few short breaks from drinking. I even stopped at 999 for a week or so just to make the 1000th drink all that more exciting. It wasn't really. In the end it was just another notch in the drinking stick.
So what did I learn here? Well, as stated earlier, I drink too much. Or at least, I did. We're now over half way through 2008 (yes, it's worrying how behind I actually am with this blogging now) and I'm fairly confident I haven't drank anywhere near the number I did this same time last year. I hear you ask, "are you counting this year?" Yes, I am, because what would be the point of counting last year if I didn't measure it up to anything. Having now seen how much can be drunk in a year and how much alcohol that equates to each day, and thinking about what kind of effects that type of poisoning has on the system, I need to challenge myself to bring that number way down. Can I drink under half of what I did last year? Let's wait and see.
And remember, this isn't a game. It's not a competition. This is my body and my health. Take care of yours.
It pissed down raining that night and at 3 in the morning at Glenelg there are no taxis. I decided to start walking home - an 8km walk in the freezing cold and wet behind the airport where there is no one and nothing but you, the road, open fields and the possibilty of running into some trouble. It wasn't until I made it half way when I reached Maccas at Harbour Town when enough was enough. At the drive through window I asked for two things - 6 nuggets and a taxi. Cold as ice.
SATURDAY 22
Sometimes the best way to beat the hangover is to "back it up" the next night. That and a cat in a bucket.
Tania, Cody and Jes join Simone and I at Jive for some TFS and FGT FTW W S(AKAG)&SA (work that out, suckers)
Following the JFGT we head to Tequilaria for Pacificos and tequelia (duh).
Then to CLH for cheap vodka and these arse clowns where the love was shared by all.
Some got right into the love....
...and then shit just got way out of control.
Lost your appetite?
SUNDAY 30 - NEW YEARS EVE EVE
Simone and I invited Cody and Tania over for some drunkening good times, with endless supply of alcohol, drinking devices and anything else we could get our hands (and heads) on.
The drinking games kick off in the backyard with the help of the Hungry Hungry Hippos game I had purchased from the Salvo's a few weeks earlier. A few of the balls are marked with various smilies.
"Happy face" - non-alcoholic shot, "sad face" - 1 shot, "sick face" - 1 shot containing two mixed drinks, "dead face" - 2 shots, the person with the least balls - drinks a shot decided by the person with the most balls, the black-dotted ball - "physical challenge". The person who's hippo eats the "physical challenge" ball has to drink a shot of alcohol decided by the rest of us while performing some task also decided by the rest of us.
Simone's first up on Physical Challenge and is made to drink a shot of vodka through a few metres of small irrigation tube. It's a long and painful shot.
Cody's next up with the headstand shot of Bundy (you would have thought the Bundy alone would be enough to make you hurl).
And then up again with this dizzying display of retardation - spinning 20 times on this office chair and then taking the shot.
After many rounds of Hungry Hungry Hippos (Drunky Drunky Hippos) Tania and Cody get a go on the Mobility Scooter of Death.
I'm the last to draw the "physical challenge" ball via my very hungry hippo. No one can think of any stupid challenge that I wouldn't just do normally myself anyway - except this....
Ride down the main road on the Mobility Scooter of Death in nothing but my underwear and sombrero. Taking to Grange road, I made sure everyone knew I was coming with my lights and horn blazing.
Back inside we start on the card games.
Game of choice is Kings. Or Waterfall, or King's Cup, or the many other names it goes by. It's a circle of cards - the end.
No one escapes the funnel...
Even Texas gets the treatment and immediately has to hit the sack to sleep it off.
MONDAY 31 - NEW YEARS EVE
Last year was the dress up, 500 course dinnerfestacular. This year is more relaxed. People, booze, bbq, backyard.....
TUESDAY 1 JANUARY - HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Midnight came and went fairly quickly and with it came the new years resolution that I would take every photo this new year upside down. It's one thing taking a photo while drunk, it's another taking a photo while drunk while holding the camera upside down. It's even harder when you are heading to completely drunk off your skull land.
Note to you: never sit unsuspecting on chair with Simone and I around. We will dive bomb you and take you out, and quite possibly break your chair too.
Note to self: Pinball is hard to play upside down.
The night progressed and to be honest I couldn't tell you much about what happened. People dribbled shit, Simone napped...
....people drank....
....people danced and drank some more.
People fell over and passed out. I can tell you I definitely had a fair share of stacks.
After grabbing dinner at Henley Square, Cody, Tania, Simone and I head for town but not without stopping in a park on the way and teaching Tania the ways of drinking goon in a park. But wait, even goon is too good for us...... instead we get on the Passion Pop from a brown paper bag.
I reckon if you're going to do it though, you've got to do it properly - passed out on park bench!
Chase the Passion Pop with live ranga cat....
....and BINGO! Everyone's happy!
After a few beverages in a bar or two and a brief stop at Maxx for some karaoke (Cody and I nailed the Beatles' All You Need Is Love - not a dry eye in the house!), we eventually find ourselves back at Jive where we've been almost regularly getting our dancing shoes on, like a lot of similarly drunk folk.
SATURDAY 8
Texas sleeps.
MONDAY 10
SATURDAY 15
Leading up to the 1000 drink mark (for 2007) I laid off the drinking for a week or two so that I could hit it on this night, which would probably be a big night.
5:33pm Drink 1000 for 2007 is achieved, drank through a few metres of small irrigation hose.
After a stop in at the Crown & Sceptre for a drink with birthday girl, Angry Erin, Simone and I head to Bar 76 (the most talked about, yet mysteriously located bar in town) for Chris' Birthday "Wear Something On Your Head" Party.
A good time was being had by all.
This is where things start getting messy. I do not recommend drinking half a bottle of gin through a drinking hat. Just look at those eyes!
Ok, so there are some good symptoms of drinking in this manner.....
...but from there, I don't know what happened. That was a bad night. I lost my way somewhere along the line. The gin (and every thing else consumed that night) contributed to me becoming frustrated, emotional, upset and then angry. Not one of my most memorable moments.
SUNDAY 16
The next day I cheered myself up by helping Simone put Curious George's firman outfit on Texas. He just loved it. Really, really loved it. Cant you tell?!
1:59pm After lunch I read a story to Curious George (all three of them).
Well it’s probably about time I updated this neglected site, this neglected blog of mine. Truth is, I just don’t have a lot of time for the Internet at the moment, and when I do, it’s small stuff like a quick check of email and on Facebook, and a quick check on Myspace for new comments and messages and such. I’m never leaving myself enough time to go through my photos and put them together in some kind of form for publication here.
Music’s been another distraction lately too. Been putting more time into writing and recording ideas to the computer take a lot of time away from the blogs and quite frankly, spending time on here totally destroys the creativity required for writing. But, here I am and here you are.
I don’t expect this to be the most exciting blog on the face of the earth or even the face of the Joe Blogs, but the blogs are not only for ridiculous behaviour on my part, they’re a historical recording of my time out with friends and at home with Simone and Tex. If I was to skip a month or skip many months in order to catch up to present day, I’d be missing the half the point. Thankfully, I’ve been kinda laid back with the photo taking in the last couple of months anyway so I expect these next few months of blogs to be a lot more smooth sailing and forthcoming. It really depends on what else my life is right now and how much time I have. Thanks for reading these last three pointless paragraphs.
Jack (of Roller Men fame) and I are asked to contribute to this month’s work news letter. Being NMovember, the Melbourne Cup seems like a good opportunity for us to make dicks of ourselves for the laughs of our colleagues.
On a Saturday morning, dressed in character, we get together with a couple of Beez Neez in North Adelaide for this photo with a horse - the horse we named Wizard’s Sleeve.
A few photos on the neighbouring cricket oval (actual game in progress) later...
and we have this....
MELBOURNE CUP CONTENDERS!
MONDAY 5
Buzzcock and I have the whole cinema to ourselves for Saw IV. Kind of says something about the movie, hey?
FRIDAY 9
Dinner and drinks after work.
SATURDAY 10
On my days off while Simone’s at work, I find trips to the beach quite relaxing. And wet.
SUNDAY 11
Cog and Dead Letter Circus at HQ.
WEDNESDAY 14
Muse at The Entertainment Centre
FRIDAY 16
What was meant to be a few quiet drinks after work with Cody, Tania and a few people from work down at the relaunch of the QA, quickly turned into boozefest when we realised the drinks were on the house. Before I knew it I was standing at the front of the stage, maybe by myself, for Kinetic Playground at Jive. I don’t remember much of the night after 10pm. Simone has supplied this wonderful photo of me when we got home as I ate pasta with my fingers.
SATURDAY 17
Being hung over from the night before should never stop you from going out and getting on it again. By "getting on it" I mean on a post box with 4 other people. It also means getting on the piss again but I thought that was obvious.
SUNDAY 18
Oh, Simone.
FRIDAY 23
Forgot to mention that I decided to jump aboard Movember in ’07. Could have went the handle bars or something else just as ridiculous but (a) my other Movember team mates already had those covered and (b) it was my duty to get amongst the Ranga Porn Mo.
SATURDAY 24
It’s not a roadtrip to Mallala if Simone doesn’t get a nap in! Actually, it’s not a complete week if Simone doesn’t get a nap or two in. When the darkness falls, the lights come out - fire, sparklers and those neon sticks which I don’t have a name for. You know the ones.
I’m teaching Simone new words....
Oh, how humans amuse themselves.
SUNDAY 25
Movember continues. Our Mo team (of three) are competing for the Inaugural Brima’s Cup, which will be awarded to the team member with the best mo at the conclusion of Movember. With a mo like this, surely I’ve got the opposition beat.
FRIDAY 30
Movember draws to a close with the Brima’s Cup award ceremony in the Boardroom. Who will take out this prestigious inaugural award?!
Unfortunately I didn’t, but I would have hoped I would have got a special award just for my extremely tight shorts. Work colleagues will never look at me the same way again.
The mo’s come off!
The winner, Jarrod (aka Chopper), celebrates with the cup and the tongue of the mo-man himself, Brima’s.
The team managed to raise over $1200 on our first year. Not a bad effort. We hope next year will be even bigger and that I can get some funds from you crazy clowns too - I’d also like to take out the Cup too of course!
Later, two mo-less people come together to celebrate the end of the month and the end of kissing my moustache.
Later still, more mo-less people, in the form of Soft White Machine, get a groove on at the Electric Light Hotel....
....in support of yet more no-mo folk, Mammal.
It’s a fairly rocking set, if I remember correctly - which is funny because I’m fairly drunk at this point on a few shots of Green Chartreuse, a shot of Bacardi 151, and who knows how many beers and vodkas. Seriously though, it was good. You can tell by this wonderful shot I took of Zeke’s groin. Amazing!
As my hair gets a little bit longer, so do the days. Daylight Saving is just around the corner. Can nocturnal activites withstand the longer daylight hours? Better make the most of the night while we can.
SATURDAY 6
The Vasco Era put on a show at Jive, which is most certainly not perfect preparation for karaoke next door at Maxx's.
THURSDAY 11
It's someone's bright idea to piss up at The Duke of York again. Hey, who can blame us when $1 beers and cheap spirits are up for the taking. We also have the pleasure of bumping into the Big Friendly Giant (aka Matt) this night. Piss in a glass anyone?
SATURDAY 13
Birds of Tokyo rock the foundations of Fowlers with support from the punchy Soft White Machine.
FRIDAY 19
The Annual Friday Drunkening, otherwise known as the work pubcrawl, comes to town. After midnight, people start moving their own way and we again find ourselves flocking to Maxx Karaoke Bar like flies to a pile of shit.
OCTOBER 27
Joe & Simone's Inaugural Oktoberfest is here (known also as our house warming) and it's time to get your sausage on and slap yourself stupid with a beer stein. Thanks to everyone who made it. You made it a great night. Next year to be even bigger! (Hope you all enjoyed the first batch of new home brew, Hosenbrau)
September - the first month of Spring; the month of footy and drugs and wankers in sport; a time for sharing (and shedding) pants; a time for loving; a month with 9 letters, which when rearranged spells the words bestemper, temperature, arse cheeks, booze, and rembeptes!
below you will find: * aliens * karaoke * robots * the answers to all your questions * a homecoming * Hosenbrau (pants brew) * more nudity * Texas Love Cat * a chimney sweep * the recipe for making Anzac biscuits like your great grandma used to make.
sit down, pour yourself a drink, stick your finger in your date and enjoy!
THURSDAY 6
The Homecoming Part 1
Cody (aka Rupert Smith, aka Buzzcock) arrives back to Adelaide this day after living interstate for many years and more recently from an 8 month trip OS. There's no time to waste with the celebrations.
After a brief warm up at home, Simone, Cody and I head to the Duke for drinks with Rach and Cathie and a cruisy Thursday night piss up on $1 beers, cheap bubbly and spirits.
I decided to leave out the photo of Simone throwing up over the neighbour's fence on the way home. It was too classy to appear here. Aaahhh, that's my girl!
FRIDAY 7
The Homecoming Part 2
The festivities continue on for another round, this time kicking off at Bar 76, moving through Shotz and adjourning at Rocket Bar.
...goodnight!
SATURDAY 8
The Homecoming Part 3
Tonight's sexy time is brought to us by the big fuck-off backyard party spectacular, also known as Pig's Birthday. Although I felt pretty crook for most of the night, it was a great time, and I even managed to drink so much that I ran out of booze and forgot about my illness, broke out in a patchy red face rash and continually fell backwards off a crate seat. PISSWRECK!!! You know it's a good party when you can mark these off a list: * pipe band * massive back yard fire * live band jams * an outdoor pub urinal trough * an outdoor toilet * hundreds of obscure items hidden amongst the garden * dog's cunt
...lights out!
TUESDAY 11
We take this short intermission so Cody can get some sleep
WEDNESDAY 19
It's been over 7 years since I made homebrew and it was time to give it another crack. The day for bottling the brew has finally arrived. The official Oktoberfest 2007 beer, Hosenbrau, that will fuel the upcoming inaugural Oktoberfest celebrations is looking the goods. time will tell.....
FRIDAY 21
work at the house continues but time is running out for Simone and I to move in there before the current lease is up and before Oktoberfest (aka the housewarming) arrives. Luckily Cody owns a spare pair of hands, and we can use these for painting.
SATURDAY 22
Tonight is Nick's (aka The Captain, aka The CG Prez) birthday down at the bay and it's a perfect day for a tram trip and a brew or two.
A few of us eventually head for the higher ground of town, more booze and some sexy time dancing
Here's about where it get's ugly. I don't actually remember much, if anything, about the following acts, but apparently I headed for enigma by myself after everyone else had taken off home. I again scale the inside of the chiminey for amusement.
I finally start my walk/jog/run home at 6:30 in the morning. It was probably a longer walk than usual, considering I went the long way and was definitely in no shape to walk straight, let alone stand up, but I got home safe .....again.
FRIDAY 28
The final after work booze up for the month of September (Remember what I said about it being the month of pants? Well, this is that time) starts where else but at work, then continues to Marble Bar for 'two for one cocktails', wrestling matches, cocktail glass jenga and....
PANTS DOWN!
We also hit Tequilaria and Max Karaoke Bar, but I thought the pants down was the most important part here.
SATURDAY 29
There's been a bit of talk about a new Mad Max movie coming to cinemas - well, we have clips from it right here.
a loooong way behind here but the blogs aren't complete if i leave shit out. a little bit going on in august: * preparing the new place * falling asleep at a subway/bp til 7am * cool gang drinks * my birthday *nudity * shotgun video * the 2007 drink count continues
WEDNESDAY 1
Simone and I are on the move to a house cross town, but before we can move in, we need to clean the place up.
The first stage is removing the wallpaper from every room
And now time for a quick TEXAS UPDATE!
THURSDAY 2
work at the house continues
FRIDAY 3
having this whole week off has been great. putting work on the house on hold for today, simone and i decide to go driving through a number of towns in the hills (also a mission to recover as many beer steins from family stores as possible - more on that later). on our journey we see many entertaining things, stop for some kick arse icecream in woodside and consider buying horse poo for no reason.
on our way home i took a dirt road for something to do and we happen to stumble apun these horses. awesome.
later that evening i got stuck into some beers, warm up for shane and louie's going away do at the sceptre. and here's where it all went pear-shaped....
everyone left for an early night, something i should have done, but somehow jimmy and i managed to fail this task and kick on into the early hours of the morning. on our drunken stumblings (cranka, shotz, hindly street) we run into dave. to tell you the truth most of the night after the crown & sceptre is a complete blur.
before i know it, i'm at a bp subway around the corner from home buying a pepper steak pie. after standing in a bus shelter eating the pie for some time, while it poured with rain all around me, i made a dash back to subway for warmer cover.
hours later, i woke up realising i'd fallen asleep (passed out), and quickly peeled my head off the table and made for home. i even passed a destressed simone in the street as she made her way to work for the morning. poor girl had been worried about where i was. luckily, no harm had come to me as i slept at the 24 hour petrol station.
SATURDAY 4
TUESDAY 7
my birthday
SATURDAY 11
NUDE!
FRIDAY 17
simone and i have decided to meet up after work and drink the shots board at the cranka and nothing else just to see how much, if anything, these shots will do to us.
the plan was thrown out the window when after finishing up, we made the mistake of dropping into my parents place a few blocks away.
the shots at cranka
more drinks at bar 76
and the stumble about town
the cranka shots experiment was documented on video for your viewing pleasure. simone and i had no idea that a "quiet night" would quickly turn into a drunken storm of alcohol and dancing. we originally had other plans for the video, including an opening sequence to be shot by simone and i but it never eventuated given that we were busy with other commitments, but here's how it came up.
another after work drinking session is looming. unfortunately i have to work back for a few hours. simone meets me at work and we eventually get sinking the piss.
simone decided to shoot her own little doco of the night. little did she suspect a couple of drunken loons would spoil it for her.
it's been a long time between blogs. joe lost his fingers recently in a faceplanting accident and is tragically no longer able to use a computer, let along a camera. he has initiated "project domo arigato, mr roboto" to handle all blogging duties from now on. please stand by. merry christmas to you all. cheers!
Tonight hosts the annual work End Of Financial Year Party, featuring live music and dj, awesome three course meal and all you can drink!!!
The theme for tonight is formal with, like many other work functions in '07, a touch of "Bond" (007). Not one to stick strictly to a theme, I printed myself up a Bonds t-shirt to wear with the dinner suit jacket I picked up at the salvos for $30. Hot!
Like last year, I decided to partake in a visual drink count (infact, the one-off 2006 drink count that inspired the entire-2007 drink count this year).
Unfortunately, the drink count photos didn't last long this time around as I was too busy having my head blown off, both figuratively and literally.
The gun fighting continued for the rest of the evening. Frederico, pulling his gun on my camera, was soon to get a taste of explosive revenge, as my steel penetrated deep into his engine room.
Not long after everyone started to move from the function centre to the cooler surroundings of an inner city bar. Frederico and I had other ideas and made our way on foot to the Sceptre. We arrived at the Crowneptre some time later, after gun fighting all the way there, even shooting at oncoming taxis ferrering our drunken colleagues.
At the Scepticle, where we joined by Peanie Beanie, the shoot outs continued further, irritating other patrons. Go ahead punks, make my day. "007, Blogs. Joe Blogs"
Frederico and The Peanie Poo agree with me that we should head for home. I follow them into their taxi and continue firing hot slugs into Frederico's face, while the taxi driver listens on, trembling at thought that I might turn my pieces of fury on him too.
I finally depart the taxi, leaving the seats riddled with bullets, stained with blood and peppered with brain pieces, walking into a near-to-home BP at around 2am (a very early night by my usual standards).
Purchasing a Pepper Steak Pie from Brumby's, I record this little number for a forthcoming Planger b-side.
SATURDAY 7 JULY
It's Moira's birthday, hell yeah! She's decided to come over from Chlamydiaville to Adelaide to celebrate with her SA fri
