is anyone else pissed about this?
Current mood: irritated
Category: Music

I can't stand Kanye West.  He used to be talented, now he just lays vocals on top of other people's songs.  What pisses me off and makes me grind my teeth is that most people will never know that his music is a rip off.  His current song is essentially a Daft Punk mash up, and I would guess that most of his audience has not one clue that is the case...and he doesn't make that info easy to find at all.  (I was trying to remember the title of the song he was using, and could find it NO WHERE in any of his propaganda.)

At least when Jay Z does it/did it, he gave credit where credit was due.  That mash up he did with the Panjabi MCs was hot hot hot. 

Kanye?  Phooey.  It's not even well done.

Currently listening : Discovery By Daft Punk Release date: 13 March, 2001

2:30 PM - 89 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

new glasses
Current mood: nerdy
Category: Fashion, Style, Shopping

I just spent a fortune on new glasses.  I was bored with the old ones, and after nearly two years they were getting kind of scratched.  Luckily there's a Lenscrafters literally 5 feet next to my office, and they have my prescription on file. I tried on dozens of pairs and narrowed it down to three...which after many consultations with strangers was whittled down to the ONE perfect pair.  I put the plastic on the counter, sprung for extra fancy glare free, Scotchguarded lenses, and waited for them to be ready.  I went to pick them up yesterday, put them on, and realized I pretty much bought the EXACT SAME GLASSES I was bored with in the first place.  HAHAHAHAHA. 

I'm an idiot.  Go on, say it.

Pictures to follow soon.

Currently listening : Bring on the Comets By VHS or Beta Release date: 28 August, 2007

7:40 AM - 89 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Wii and me
Current mood: crushed
Category: Games

My only advice to you, my dear readers, is don't play Wii with any little kids.  Your old, tired muscles will never recover.

(Saturday night I played Super Mario Party 8 with my friends' 12 year old son, and I think I may have dislocated my decrepit shoulder during one of the mini-challenges that involved punching a statue to bits.  Welcome to senior citizenship.)

I must say, it adds a whole new dimension for me to the idea of couch potatohood.  Couch potatoes who regularly engage in these crazy Wii games couldn't possibly be physically unfit!

Currently listening : Panic Prevention By Jamie T. Release date: 28 August, 2007

11:39 AM - 89 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

i don't like words
Current mood: thirsty

i haven't really been using this lil' ol' blog here very much, writing can be way too much effort.  haha.  remind me to tell you all the story about how i nearly jumped out of my 6th floor dorm room window because i had to WRITE a thesis.  or even better, i could tell you the story about how one night, exhausted and delirious from 3 all nighters in a row fueled by nothing but vending machine cheezits and dr pepper, i convinced myself i wrote 5 pages of my thesis in my sleep...woke up and *poof* it was gone.  i nearly wept.  it ended up being 75 pages of HELL.  "energy conservation for low income housing:  a history of urban poverty using harlem as a case study."  yup, that was my thesis, without which i would never have graduated from college.  before you ask, i was an environmental science major, and yes i work in the music industry, and yes it's a long story.  although, i never actually got the piece of paper saying i graduated, and they've been holding my transcript hostage for 12 years.  see, i lent my personal security phone code to a friend who was broke and having boyfriend troubles and she ran up a $300 phone bill which she never paid me for, and i never paid the bill cos i figured i didnt' really owe the money.  so meanwhile, because of this phone bill i never got an actual diploma.  oh well, all of this stuff is wrapped in and around the idea that i hate writing now.  and writing used to be the thing i lived for.  it's too damn hard to open up a vein and WRITE everyday, and to depend on that for a living...well, i'd need some serious mood enhancers or booze.

anyway, despite my disillusionment with writing, i have been maintaining a photoblog for those who might be interested in taking a peek.  all 5 of you, yes.

stop by and let me know what you think...but do it over there, not over here.

www.gabiporter.com

http://www.flickr.com/photos/gabiporter/sets/

...and buy the new chemical brothers album when it comes out.  it's so good it makes me want to pee my pants.  and the video for the single will make you jiggle in your seat, i'm jiggling right now.

Currently listening : We Are the Night By The Chemical Brothers Release date: 17 July, 2007

4:29 PM - 89 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

i'm way over due
Current mood: cranky
Category: Blogging

I'm sure I have lots of things to say: like a report on my new cameras (I got a medium format el cheapo Holga, and a Horizon panoramic camera), or my birthday (it's great when you're comfortably into your 30's and drinking is less of a competitive sport and you can go drinking on a Monday night and still make it into work without being useless the next day), or going to Grammys (and how I got to hang out on the roof of the Capitol Records building, and how I stood outside the Hollywood Athletic Club for 6 hours telling people trying to find the Ludacris party that they weren't on my list, and how Terence Howard is my new boyfriend).  But I really don't feel much like it.  I have pictures of some of this somewhere, and eventually I'll get around to posting them...now that I'm going to be taking more FILM pictures this may become even less frequent.

And for everyone who's been asking: my mom (and the 16 pins in her right ankle) is doing just fine.  She's walking around with a cane, her air cast may be retired today.

Currently listening : The Bird & The Bee By The Bird & The Bee Release date: 23 January, 2007

10:38 AM - 89 Comments - 1 Kudos - Add Comment

i'm so tired
Current mood: crappy
Category: Life

I swear, if there really is a fan where the shit is hitting it, then it must be located somewhere near me.  I don't remember ever being this tired.  I don't want to talk to anyone unless it's absolutely necessary, because I hate having to answer THAT question: "How are you?"  Well, I'm not ok.  Work is good-ish, I guess being busy is always a good thing, but it's tense tense tense, but at least that's not the reason I feel like my life is in the shitter. 

It must show, because yesterday at Whole Foods, as I contemplated going home and cooking a big trout dinner (that wouldn't be on the plate until after 11 pm), a very stylishly coiffed woman came up to me and asked me if I'd like a hair cut.  She was a senior stylist in training and needed a subject.  If you've seen me recently, you'll have noticed that I'm in desperate need of a haircut.  Part of me wanted to yell a giant "FUCK YOU" at this girl, because no one wants to be reminded they look like a big, tired turd with bad hair.  But then I realized that what she was offering was really very nice, and we chatted.  I totally would have taken her up on the offer, but a) I'm too tired to sit up and get my hair cut, b) I don't have any time to get my hair cut, and c) even if I get my hair cut, nothing is going to fix the bags under my eyes but a week away from my house, my mother and her broken ankle and my crazy ass dog...I'd take the birds with me, they at least don't bother me.

Or maybe I just need to steal a couple of my mother's Vicodin or Lunesta and ignore the yelling in the other room, pour myself a nice whiskey, lock the door with a full pack of smokes and an ashtray and watch movies until I pass out.

Currently listening : A Hundred Miles Off By The Walkmen Release date: 23 May, 2006

1:49 PM - 89 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

do you have any ginger ale?
Current mood: sick

I was all excited to write about my weekend, and my new camera, and teenage fans of bands I like who make me feel 100 years old, and my preparations for Thanksgiving.  But I ate or drank something funny, and I really really don't feel well.  It's not exactly nausea, it's not exactly complete gastro-intestinal revolution, but everytime I eat something I start to shake (knees and hands), and my stomach starts to make noises back at me like it's saying, "Ahhh, HELL no."  I'd really like a cup of coffee, because I'm still feeling sleepy, but I have a feeling that would be a horrendous mistake.  So I have to sit here feeling sleepy and shaky...and a little hungry, listening to Elliott Smith.

My mother has a stomach that rivals most garbage disposals, and she and I ate exactly the same things yesterday, and of course she's fine.  A late breakfast from Angela's Coffee Shop, early dinner that I made (turkey meatloaf with fresh sage, parmesan mashed potatoes, and a salad with walnut oil vinaigrette).  The one weird deviation is when I took the dog (and my new camera) out for a walk by the river and stopped in at the health food store in my building to buy a water "laced" with peppermint oil before setting out on our little trek.  But peppermint oil?  That's never made me sick before. 

So rather than spending my evening loading all the necessary new software on my computer to upload photos to share with everyone I bothered for advice on what camera I should buy, I lay in bed sucking down Kaopectate and feeling shivery.  (For anyone who is curious:  I bought the Panasonic Lumix DMC-FZ7, with a Leica DC Vario-Elmarit lens...and so far I'm very pleased with it.)

Currently listening : From a Basement on the Hill By Elliott Smith Release date: 19 October, 2004

8:32 AM - 89 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

chopping broccoli
Current mood: hungry
Category: Food and Restaurants

Have you ever had the urge to chop the contents of your refrigerator into small pieces and make some really weird food to eat.  That's what I did this weekend.  I chopped everything in my fridge and made "salads."  Exciting, eh?

9:03 PM - 89 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

i have such a weird life
Current mood: sore
Category: Parties and Nightlife

I hate CMJ, I hate 20 minute sets, I hate the crowds, I hate the hustle, and I hate fuckin' lanyards.  Nothing says "I'M A DORK" like a lanyard.  But I took the plunge last night and decided to do some CMJ activities...and then go the EMI Latin Grammy afterparty.  So this evening necessitated wearing unsensible footwear and clothes not really appropriate for rocking out, and today I want to chop my feet off.  But I'm glad I got over my granny tendencies, because otherwise I wouldn't have had a hipster hippie drop his falafel sandwich in the lap of my $200 skirt on the L train, I wouldn't have been bitten (not by a bug), I wouldn't have gotten dressed up, I wouldn't have talked about sex with Ed Norton with Neil Rosen from NY-1, and I wouldn't have anything to tell people about.

First stop:  went to see Hot Chip at Irving Plaza.  I love those guys.  I would have loved them a lot more if the idiots next to me hadn't talked the entire time the band played.  Where's Errol to throw shit at people who won't be quiet when you need him?  I would have said something myself, but I was flying solo and I'm not as courageous without my posse.  But seriously, wow.  Hot Chip make melody out of an almost purely percussive sound.  And they sort of remind me of the dorktastic Devo, but that might just be the dork factor. (The hipster hippie-falafel encounter happened on the way to this show.  Tahini sauce in the lap is a great way to kick off a night!)

Second stop:  the darling Kennedy at Crash Mansion.  Why are there no cabs in the East Village anymore?  I walked from 11th and 3rd to Spring and Bowery, no sign of an empty cab the whole way down.  I blame this particular stretch of my evening for the extremity of my foot agony today.  I had never seen Kennedy live, and it still wasn't an entirely live experience cos he was singing to his iPod.  But he is a showman, he's a rather adorable little perv, who sings these ridiculously catchy disco songs about "lovin' your mama all night long"  (oh!  best song line:  "here's your lunch money, honey, now get to school").  I dare you to download "Your Mama" and *not* listen to it on repeat for like 3 weeks like I did, you won't be able to either.  He's totally LA, but not in the way that New Yorkers say that with a grimace and a shudder, I actually mean that in a good way.  There must be cool people in LA, and Kennedy must be one of the coolest, a smooth operating pimp who knows karate and will love your mama.

Last stop:  Nikki Midtown for the EMI Latin Grammy afterparty.  There is something so hot about walking up to a swanky venue (even if inside you're limping in your heels and trying not to let it show) and saying, "I'm on the VIP list."  I'll bet that's something that Brandon Davis and Tara Reid don't know about.  Hahaha.  But I digress.  EMI knows how to throw a party.  There were hot Latin Americans of both genders as far as the eye could see, and an open bar.  Eye candy and free drinks, what could be better?  On one trip to the bar I was waylaid by a handsome drunk man, who raised his arms and swayed his hips, in the universal language of drunks which I will translate for you:  Let's dance.  It is advisable to smile engagingly when this happens, go along with it, and then politely and smilingly DISengage yourself in a few moments.  I used this tried and true approach, and Handsome Drunk looked crestfallen, and said, "You were just using me!"  To which I answered, "No, *you* were using *me*."  I could literally see a lightbulb go off over the guys head, and he leaned in really close and said, "You're right."  And he BIT me right on the jawline by my left ear.  Just in case you missed that, he BIT me.  On the face!  Ummm.  At least he was cute.

Where do you go after you've been bitten by a handsome drunk stranger?  Apparently you go and talk about movie star sex with NY-1's movie critic and celeb interviewer.  Neil Rosen stopped to talk to me and asked me which movie star I would sleep with if I had my pick for one night of no strings attached monkey love (I don't think he actually said "monkey love").  I took a few to think about it, and after about 45 seconds came out with: Ed Norton.  Neil said, "Hmmm, interesting choice" and went on to ask me if I knew what the top 3 answers among New York women was.  "Ummm, no."  Apparently it's 3) Matthew "MygodI'mgay"; 2) Colin "I'm-A-Drunk-Slut" Farrell and 1) Angelina Jolie.  Thanks, Neil. 

After being bitten and talking about sex with someone I've watched on TV for 12 years, there wasn't anymore fun to be had for me, so I picked up and limped to a cab.  My Punjabi cab driver asked me for my phone number, and I told him my Italian boyfriend in Brooklyn would be really jealous. 

I would have been asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow, but my feet hurt so badly after six and a half hours of standing in heels that they kept me awake.  Funnily enough, this morning I was no later for work than I usually am.

Currently listening : Bat Out Of Hell III By Meat Loaf Release date: 31 October, 2006

7:32 AM - 89 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

mountain men
Current mood: horny
Category: Life

I used to be a hippy, and I totally forget this all the time.  Every now and again something reminds that I used to wear hiking boots and flannel and have hair down to my ass.  This morning I was distractedly trying to beat my high score at Tetris on my cell phone (what happened to me? I used to read good books on the subway, and ever since I downloaded Tetris I am a thumb twitching junkie), and I forgot to hold on when I switched to the third train I take to work.  The train lurched forward and I lurched with it. Standing in front of me was a HOT man of the mountain man ilk, and he reached forward and grabbed my arm so I wouldn't go sprawling across the F train on my ass.  Blond, bearded, wearing "hiking pants" (yes, there is such a thing, I own a pair) and an ergonomic shoulder slung backpack, with a rippling muscled forearm.  He was so good looking it was actually hard to make eye contact, but I could see an "easy there, little lady" smile on his face.  I mumbled a self-conscious, "Thanks, that was very kind of you" (my momma raised me right).  It was a swoon worthy moment.  Phew!  We got off at the same stop, and now I'll have motivation to get to work a little earlier than usual everyday.

Currently listening : Inside In/Inside Out By Kooks Release date: 03 October, 2006

6:33 AM - 89 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment