Yes, I am going to rant about teen vampire romance
Current mood: aggravated
Category: Writing and Poetry

Ok, it's been a long time since I felt the need to really rant about something here, but today is the day. I am so disgusted by the backlash surrounding Stephenie Meyer's final book in the Twilight series that I can't keep my mouth shut, or my fingers still, or whatever. And yes, I know that VERY few of you will care. I invite you now to skip this episode of my blog entirely, but I must get this rage out somewhere and I'm going to use this blog to do it. Those of you who choose to bear with me, I owe you a shot at the bar. Come by anytime, it's right downstairs.

Many of you know that I was looking forward to the latest and final installment of the Bella-Edward fairytale with almost as much enthusiasm as I had for last year's Harry Potter finale. (My full loyalty remains with JK however as I did not attend one of the midnight release parties for Breaking Dawn:) I read through the first three books in the series in the span of three days one weekend in May and was totally enraptured. I was a teenage girl once and the story pulled her out of my batty belfry for a few hours and let her breathe. I applaud Meyer's chaste interpretation of two genres--teenage romance and vampire lore--that are notoriously gorged with over-written sex scenes designed to charge the hormones of an already hormonally charged audience (be they teenage girls or horny housewives). I've read my share of teen romance, adult romance and vampire mythology. I know of what I speak. Contrary to what some have said, Meyer can write better romance than most Harlequin authors and her vampires are a hell of a lot more interesting than Rice's version. I also applaud her intention to offer the youth of the world something other than sex to obsess over. And yes, there is a difference between obsessing over sex and obsessing over a sexy vampire.

Maybe I'll get back to what I like about the books later, but that's not what I want to rant about, so I digress... I went out and bought the book on Saturday morning and spent the majority of my weekend reading it. No, it didn't quite pull me in the way it once did and it's no Harry Potter that had me forgoing sleep in order to finish it in one sitting, but it was a worthy end to the saga and I enjoyed it. And I can take the fact that not everyone did. Hey, if you were dumb enough to think Bella would end up choosing Jacob over Edward then I'm sorry you were disappointed. Clearly, you need to read more books to figure out how these things work. And I'm pretty sure THAT'S THE POINT! You can scream all you want about whether or not this is the right literary fare for you children, but at least they're picking up a book at all. Pretty sure that's partially thanks to JK Rowling. And while Harry Potter hasn't inspired a burst of occult behavior in the world's youth, I'm pretty sure your kids aren't going to turn into vampires and werewolves after reading these books. So lighten up, parents and enjoy the fact that someone is offering your children something to read after Harry has left us that's providing some decent role models.

So here's another tirade... Oh yes, there are a few... People are actually raging against Meyer for what they consider anti-feminist, pro-Mormon lessons in the books. First, it's Stephenie's prerogative to put whatever lessons she wants in HER books. And if she's Mormon, pretty sure that's going to be part of it. But to be honest, I didn't see it until it was brought to my attention that it was there. And are you seriously going to fault her for giving the world a heroine who chooses to get married right out of high school, abstains from sex until after she's married, and accidentally gets knocked up by her husband during her honeymoon? Seriously, people? That's your beef? And you scream that Bella chose to get married instead of going to college, but actually, she got married because she chose to be a vampire. The choice was vampire over college. And choosing vampire means she can go to college any time and as many times as she wants. Yes, it was about a boy... And yes, you can scream about that, too. But that's what fairytales are about, isn't it? If you don't want to raise your daughters to believe in the happily-ever-after-princess-fairytale, then maybe you should be screaming about Disney movies and the classic fairytales that have been around since storytelling began. What is it again that's so un-feminine about falling in love and getting married and having children? I'm confused.

But really, what started my ire flowing was not any of these things. I went online last night after I finished reading the book to post a review on goodreads (my new favorite site) and was blown away by the vitriol spewing from the masses over this book. I guess when you have such a fanatical following from the adolescents of the country, you're bound to get some tantrums when you disappoint them, but still... this is ridiculous and cruel. Where's the respect for your favorite author that you were lauding just 3 days ago? Suddenly it's cool to just trash her story because you disagree with her plot choices? It's fun to shit all over someone's work because you didn't get your way? I'm just disgusted. Who do you people think you are? What right do you have to say how HER story should have ended? And you're pissed that everything worked out perfectly? Really? That's your beef? What did you expect? Did you read the other three books? What's so wrong about a happy ending? You would have preferred to live through another holocaust like the Harry Potter series? That would have made you happy? Then why don't you just go back to your crappy fan fiction and write your own ending to the story and leave Stephenie alone. She's a person who's given you a great deal and she deserves better than this. Try to get back in touch with the person inside you who loved the other books enough to inspire you to be so passionate about the end. Where are the fans she was talking about loving so much just last week? Have some fucking gratitude, people. It's common (or not so common) decency.

And yes, I recognize the hypocrisy of my telling people to chill the fuck out when I'm sitting here ranting into my computer... but I draw a righteous line between people throwing tantrums over a work of teen-oriented fiction and my tirade against people being inconsiderate pricks. Maybe it's an arbitrary line, but I'm sticking to it anyway. It's my blog. And if you've waded through the wrath this far, I owe you another shot. Hell, tack on a beer chaser. I could use one myself to calm the seething beast inside.

P. S. I'm not writing books for teenagers. I don't want to be the next JK or Stephenie Meyer. I need mature fans who grasp the concepts of courtesy and respect.

Currently reading : Breaking Dawn (The Twilight Saga, Book 4) By Stephenie Meyer Release date: 2008-08-02

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10 Top 10 Lists
Current mood: happy
Category: Life

Inspired by the AFI's 10 Top 10 and Entertainment Weekly's 1000 new classics of the last 25 years, I decided to make some of my own lists. So here are 10 of my Top 10 lists.

Movies

10. Gone With the Wind (1939)
9. The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
8. American Beauty (1999)
7. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
6. Meet Joe Black (1998)
5. Pulp Fiction (1994)
4. Moulin Rouge (2001)
3. Harry Potter (2001-2010)
2. Star Wars (1977-2005)
1. Lord of the Rings (2001-2003)


Actors/Actresses

10. Helen Mirren
9. Ewan McGreggor
8. Ralph Fiennes
7. Ian McKellan
6. Gary Oldman
5. Patrick Stewart
4. Daniel Radcliffe
3. Elijah Wood
2. Leonardo DiCaprio
1. Brad Pitt


TV Shows

10. Quantum Leap
9. Grey's Anatomy
8. Northern Exposure
7. Firefly
6. Twin Peaks
5. Buffy the Vampire Slayer
4. Boston Legal
3. Star Trek: The Next Generation
2. Lost
1. The X-Files


Books

10. Shogun by James Clavell
9. Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
8. Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien
7. Harry Potter by JK Rowling
6. Equus by Peter Schaffer
5. Dune by Frank Herbert
4. A Literate Passion: The Letters Between Henry Miller and Anais Nin
3. The Hero With a Thousand Faces by Joseph Campbell
2. The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand
1. Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand – Waking up in the valley and Galt's speech


Songs

10. Sasketchewan Pirate by Captain Tractor
9. It's Your Song by Garth Brooks
8. Bridge Over Troubled Water by Simon & Garfunkel
7. She's Always a Woman by Billy Joel
6. The Dance by Garth Brooks – I could've missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance
5. Let It Be by The Beatles – She comes to me in times of trouble speaking words of wisdom, let it be
4. Bed of Lies by Matchbox Twenty – I'm all that I'll ever be when you lay your hands over me and don't go weak on me, please; I know that it's weak but, God help me, I need this…
3. Variations on the Kanon by Pachelbel by George Winston
2. The Difference by Matchbox Twenty – Night swimming in your diamond dress making small circles move across the surface; Stand watching from the steady shore feeling wide open and waiting for…
1. Beethoven's Ode to Joy from the Ninth Symphony

Bands/Singers

10. They Might Be Giants – Birdhouse in Your Soul, Women & Men, Whistling in the Dark, Want a Rock, New York City
9. Alanis Morissette – Uninvited, Everything, Thank You, Head Over Feet
8. Nickelback – Far Away, If Everyone Cared, Savin' Me
7. Sarah Mclaughlin – Angel, Full of Grace, Path of Thorns
6. Simon & Garfunkel – Bridge Over Troubled Water, The Boxer, Sounds of Silence
5. Billy Joel – She's Always a Woman, Scenes in an Italian Restaurant, Downeaster Alexa
4. The Beatles – Let It Be, We Can Work It Out, Hey Jude
3. Green Day – Walking Contradiction, Minority, Holiday, Pulling Teeth, Boulevard of Broken Dreams
2. Garth Brooks – It's Your Song, The Dance, We Shall be Free, The River, Calling Baton Rouge, Ireland, The Storm
1. Matchbox Twenty – The Difference, Bed of Lies, Last Beautiful Girl, You Won't Be Mine, Bright Lights, Now Comes the Night


People I Admire

10. Michael J. Fox
9. Harry Potter
8. Shakespeare
7. JK Rowling
6. Ayn Rand
5. Albert Einstein
4. Frank Lloyd Wright
3. Joseph Campbell
2. Francisco d'Anconia
1. John Galt


Art

10. Ansel Adams' Photography
9. Jim Brandenburg's Wolf Photographs
8. Vermeer's Young Woman With a Water Pitcher
7. Winged Victory of Samothrace
6. Michelangelo's Pieta
5. Wright Architecture and Design
4. Monet's Houses of Parliament, Sunset
3. Van Gogh's Irises
2. Monet's Water Lilies
1. Van Gogh's Cypresses


Places I Want to See

10. London Bridge
9. Grand Canyon
8. Yosemite, California
7. The Louvre, Paris
6. Boundary Waters in Minnesota
5. Alaska
4. Pacific Northwest
3. Athens
2. Rome
1. Falling Water, Bear Run, Pennsylvania


Places I've Been

10. Kennedy Space Center, Cape Canaveral, Florida
9. Atlas Sculpture at Rockefeller Center, New York City
8. Martin House Complex, Buffalo, New York
7. Staten Island Ferry, New York
6. Trafalgar Square, London
5. Country Club Plaza at Christmas, Kansas City, Missouri
4. Loose Park Rose Garden, Kansas City, Missouri
3. Horsetooth Reservoir, Fort Collins, Colorado
2. Gold Camp Road, Colorado Springs, Colorado
1. The Cabin, Long Lake, Wisconsin

Currently watching : The X-Files - The Complete Fifth Season (Slim Set) Release date: 2006-03-28

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Paying Homage to Genius
Current mood: inspired
Category: Travel and Places

Love is the virtue of the Heart
Sincerity the virtue of the Mind
Decision the virtue of the Will
Courage the virtue of the Spirit

--Frank Lloyd Wright's Organic Commandment

To honor the occasion of crossing into my third decade, I took a pilgrimage to Buffalo, New York to celebrate the work of Frank Lloyd Wright with Trent and Ryan. Buffalo has one of the greatest concentrations of Wright's work outside of Chicago (which may be my birthday destination next year). It was there, at the Graycliffe estate on the shores of Lake Erie that I first set foot inside one of Wright's houses. It was lucky Trent was there to hold my hand and keep me steady because I otherwise might have fallen over the sensation was so intense. I have been a fan of Wright's work for a long time. The first time I saw the Little living room at the Metropolitan Museum I was blown away, but to walk the grounds of the Graycliffe estate literally took my breath away. I think that someone who has great faith in God must feel that way when they walk the aisle of a church. 
 

Graycliffe was gorgeous and will always be my first, but the Martin House complex the next day was even better.

There was a vocal reaction from Ryan, Trent and myself when we pulled up to the corner and saw the Martin House for the first time. None of us were prepared. The complex consists of the main house, a pergola, the conservatory, the carriage house, the gardener's cottage and the Barton House. With the in-depth tour, we got to go into all of them. At first, we trolled the sidewalks taking pictures like crazy. Then we walked around back to find the store/entrance in the carriage house, but before we ever got there I could see into the Conservatory and I saw the 9 1/2 foot tall reproduction of Winged Victory of Samothrace through the window. That was a moment I almost could not handle. My heart stopped and I felt the weight of a life moment. Of course, then I went inside and had several more moments like that. So many times I couldn't breathe in the presence of Wright's genius. There were tears standing in my eyes it was so awesome and affecting. I can think of no greater way to honor my life than to pay homage to his kind of vision.

In addition to the Martin House complex and the Graycliffe estate (which was the Martin's summer house by the way), we also saw the Blue Sky Mausoleum that Wright designed. It was built by the Buffalo cemetery in 2004. The Davidson House and the Heath House were also in Buffalo, plus the Boyton House in Rochester. We even went to see two vacant lots—the first was supposed to be the site of a Wright-designed gas station but it hasn't been built yet and the second was the former site of the Larkin Administration Building, which was demolished in 1950. So in our own way we honored both the past and the future.

Other memorable sites from the trip included the place where President McKinley was shot, his memorial obelisk in the heart of downtown, Buffalo City Hall, Lake Erie and Niagara Falls. We managed to get back and forth across the Canadian border with only our driver licenses, though we did get a stern talking to about carrying our passports from the border patrol agent. I got a new shot glass and pin from another international Hard Rock Café. And in the end, we hit 2 countries and 4 states in 4 days and 1000 miles. 

It was by far the best birthday ever. I am truly lucky that Trent and Ryan were not only willing to go along, but appreciated the sites as much as I did. They are the best friends I could ask for, even now, after all that time in that confined space. We'll be tying up the trip tomorrow night by watching The Fountainhead. All in all, I'm enjoying my 30s so far. I have no doubt they'll be my best years, yet!

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Jessica’s Top 10 Movies of 2007
Current mood: accomplished
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

This is a long one, so I'll skip the intro:

10. Waitress

This movie somehow snuck in to my heart and pushed The Bourne Ultimatum off the list, which is a huge shocker for me considering how much I love the Bourne movies (and the third was the best!). But, this quiet little gem from the Sundance Film Festival won me over. This is partly because my friend Ryan has imbued me with a love for pie. It's partly because I have a mad crush on Nathan Fillion. It's partly because I have loved Keri Russell ever since Felicity went through college with me. It's partly because Andy Griffith tries to be a mean old man and fails because his soul is pure goodness. And it's also because of the sense of loss that surrounds the film considering what happened to writer/director Adrienne Shelly. The final scene with Keri Russell and Adrienne's real-life daughter tugs at the heart, but it's definitely a feel-good movie.

Favorite Part: When she brings the Naughty Pumpkin Pie for Dr. Pomatter but ends up having to give it to her old lady doctor.

9. Transformers

I went in expecting a movie that would take me back to my childhood in a semi-enjoyable, campy kind of way. But I came out feeling like I had been on the ride of my life. I thought this movie was fantastic. The mix of live-action and CGI was absolutely seamless. The transformers themselves are works of art. The story was good, had its emotionally affecting moments right along with the one liners. I was impressed enough with Shia LaBeouf to watch Disturbia, though it didn't quite make this list. All in all a great movie experience.

Favorite Line: She's an evil jock concubine.

Favorite Part: When Optimus Prime rolls in to the final battle downtown at the end. I almost cried.

8. Black Sheep

No, not the Chris Farley/David Spade movie, the independent film from New Zealand. Natalie and I bounced between raucous laughter, high-pitched screams and utter revulsion. This movie is gross, but it's one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life. No, the evil genetically mutated sheep that eat your face are not scary, but the haunting music that plays as the herd comes over the hill will still affect you. And it's a toss up whether the entrail-eating sheep are the worst, or the skillfully placed shots of food, and by food, I mean haggis.

Favorite Lines:
Henry: The irrational fear that one day THIS is going to happen!
&
Angus: Baaaaaaastard

7. Hairspray

I broke my foot after buying this DVD because it was so much fun I couldn't keep still. I've had the soundtrack on eternal repeat for weeks now. It's just a feel-good-fun-time-sing-a-long of a movie. I love John Travolta. I love watching Christopher Walken dance (and if you've seen the Weapon of Choice video you know what I mean). Amanda Bynes and Allison Janney were hysterical in this movie (Devil child! Devil child!). From the very first scene I loved Tracy Turnblatt to the bottom of my heart and I think Nikki Blonsky did a great job. And yes, I have actually found myself making the argument that crushing on Zac Efron is totally ok because he's two years older than Daniel Radcliffe.

Favorite Lines:
Edna: Do you know what I had to pay a cab just to consider coming down here?
&
Motormouth Maybelle: Love is a gift; a lot of people don't remember that. So you better brace yourselves for a whole lot of ugly coming at you from a never ending parade of stupid.

Favorite Part/Song: Ladies' Choice, performed by Zac Efron

6. December Boys

Of course I was at the theatre the day this came out because I will support everything that Daniel Radcliffe chooses to do. This Australian independent film is a far cry from the high-tech, blue-screened world of Harry Potter and it is perhaps that contrast that made me enjoy it so much. Take away all the hubbub of the Harry Potter mania and Daniel still gets it done. Of course, having seen Equus earlier in the year I already knew that. But this is a simple, quiet film about family mostly. Daniel plays an orphan, again, but this time he is the oldest in a group of boys that gets sent to the sea for a holiday. It is there that he learns about love and loss and friendship. He isn't really the lead character, but my eyes were drawn to him every time he was on screen. And Teresa Palmer who plays Lucy is, in Daniel's own words, heartbreakingly beautiful.

Favorite Part: When Maps tries to sing Who'll Stop the Rain and Lucy stops him to show him how it's done.

5. August Rush

Ok, so with my baggage I was predisposed to love this movie. I went in wanting to love it, expecting to love it, and I left loving it. It's a great New York movie. Ryan thinks Laura is in the background of one of the scenes, though I'll have to see it again to be sure. It's a good love story. I liked Jonathan Rhys Meyers and Keri Russell together. It's a movie about love and hope and faith and family and choice and music. I got a thrill from recognizing the conductor Zubin Mehta from my book research. I'm not sure how I feel about Robin Williams in this movie, but I did absolutely hate his character by the end so I guess he was effective. And once again I find myself adoring Freddie Highmore. Ever since Charlie and the Chocolate Factory I have thought he was one of the most beautiful children in film right now, and though he's growing up, he still has that look of youthful innocence and awe on his face that I just love.

Favorite Parts:  When August arrives in New York City and hears the beautiful music of the city, then he loses the business card for the only person he knows and the music changes to a frightening cacophony. That scene sums up what it's like to live here. It is both beautiful and frightening.
&
The dueling guitars scene in Washington Square Park with August and Louis

4. The Golden Compass

I was predisposed to love this one, too. I read Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials trilogy last spring and just loved it. I devoured it fast and passed it on to Trent immediately. While some of the themes and ideals of the books were watered down for the film to make it palatable to a wider audience, I still felt that the most important points were made. It's also a beautiful film. I loved the scenes of Oxford (I had to be shushed when the Bodelian Library was onscreen and I squealed that I had been there). The daemons were fun and I loved the play between Lyra and Pan as much as I had in the book. I think my hatred of Mrs. Coulter probably came more from the books than Nicole Kidman, though she did a nice job. I loved Daniel Craig as Asriel and Dakota was perfect for Lyra. I can only hope that the scenes they cut from the end of the movie that were in the book will find their way into the sequel. The scenes were in the trailers, so I am crossing my fingers…

Favorite Part: When the man from the Magisterium says that what Lord Asriel proposes is heresy and Lord Asriel says that it is the truth.

3. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

My love for these movies was rediscovered this year. I was disappointed by the second film in the trilogy, but the third has most of the brilliance of the first and I thoroughly enjoyed it. There was a lot going on and it was bit long, but the scenes of Jack in Davy Jones locker were great and I was invested enough to mourn the loss of Norrington and Elizabeth's father. I'm not a Keira fan so I didn't particularly enjoy the script giving her the rallying cries, but she sufficed. Geoffrey Rush and Johnny Depp are the best parts of the movie and Orlando just looks damn hot as a pirate.

Favorite Lines:
Elizabeth: It wasn't your burden to bear.
Will: But I did bear it. I just didn't know what it was.
&
Jack: We shall have a magnificent garden party and you're not invited.

2. Across the Universe

This movie almost made it to my 1 spot and the fact that it even had a chance is incredible. This soundtrack was on eternal repeat until Hairspray knocked it off—though the 40-50 play counts on my iTunes will keep it in my Top 25 for a long time to come. From the trailer, I thought it had equal chances of being amazing and absolutely horrid. I'm glad to say that I loved every second of it, beginning to end. From the first frame I was in love with Jim Sturgess as Jude. His eyes and his voice held me enthralled throughout the movie. But truthfully I loved everything about it. I loved Joe Anderson as Max. I loved Evan Rachel Wood as Lucy. I loved all the little inside jokes stolen from Beatles music. I loved the musical arrangements and the visual effects. The scene on the bus with Bono is awesome. I also appreciated the atmosphere in the theatre as it was a mixture of old Beatles fans, serious film buffs, drugged out teenagers and plain old ordinary folk. It was great. The DVD comes out February 5^th and the date is already in my calendar.

Favorite Parts:
The bowling alley scene when Jude sings I've Just Seen a Face
&
The end when Max jumps on the fence while singing Hey Jude

1. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

No surprise here. There's nothing that can compete with Harry as far as I am concerned, especially considering that at the time this was my favorite book in the series. I admit that I was disappointed that my favorite scene in the book, that I've been looking forward to for years, didn't make it into the film but I will simply choose to blame Steve Kloves for lacking the fortitude to stick out the entire series and feel better. He would have included the scene in the screenplay. Aside from that, I loved the movie and thought it was amazing. It was true to the book and while I have heard people complain that it felt rushed to them, I did not feel that way at all, though I was expecting to considering the size of the source material. My boy Daniel is growing as an actor by leaps and bounds and I felt every crushing frame there at the end. There's a shot of him lying on the floor, taken from down by his feet looking towards his face that has become my favorite shot in the series, taking the title from the shots of Harry in the clock tower in Azkaban. No doubt Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince will hold this spot next year.

Favorite Part: Every moment between Harry and Sirius: the hug at the beginning when they first see each other again, the little wink at dinner when Harry says he wants to fight Voldemort, the conversation at the train station, the toast at Christmas, Sirius telling Harry that he's not a bad person in the family tree room, the two battling side by side against the death eaters at the Ministry, Sirius calling Harry James, and finally the death of Sirius Black.

Currently listening : Hairspray (Soundtrack to the Motion Picture) By Marc Shaiman Release date: 10 July, 2007

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Hail to the Year 2007!
Current mood: indescribable
Category: Life

December and January are generally considered appropriate times for reflection. The holidays remind us of years past and the new year looms ahead with the promise of new and exciting possibilities. And I must say, looking back, 2007 has been one of the most eventful years in recent memory. So I feel it necessary to wander the paths of memory as I also look forward to 2008. 

This year started with a desire to transform my surroundings. I sought to create a sanctuary in which I could recuperate from the strains of big city life as well as nurture my creative fire. So I spent January painting my room. And I must say that it has made all the difference. I absolutely love the new look. The final piece, my attempt at copying Frank Lloyd Wright's Waterlilies stained glass onto my closet doors, did not get finished until October, but the room is now done. All that remains is the continuous shuffling required to keep my book and DVD libraries in order as they continue to grow.

In February, I had the profound revelation that the answer to all my life's questions and desires was: Write the f***ing book! (Wording on that was from Steve. J) It's a great feeling to know one's purpose.

March was the greatest part of the whole year! Not only did I get to leave... North America for the first time and use my shiny new passport… Not only did I get to visit London (which included the British Museum, the Victoria Albert Museum, the British National Gallery, Oxford, the London Eye, Big Ben, Parliament, the Thames, Westminster Abbey, Buckingham Palace, and much, much more)… Not only these magnificent and wonderful additions to my life… But I got to experience Daniel Radcliffe's astounding stage performance as Alan Strang in Peter Schaffer's Equus. And I got to see it from the front row! It was absolutely incredible. Daniel Radcliffe has won my respect and admiration for his daring and fearless nature. I can't wait to witness it again next fall when he comes to Broadway.

In April, I had the profound revelation that the answer to getting the book written was not more money to gain freedom, but more time and energy to fuel the creative fire. I decided to go part-time at work. I am brilliant and a much happier person for it. And yes, the book is getting written, slowly but surely. The rest of the Spring saw me getting my third, and favorite, tattoo (Beauty), attending Nando and Jenny's wedding with my entire family, reading Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials trilogy, getting a visit from Dad and Ellen, and gearing up for July, which was a big month for us Potterphiles.

I was exceedingly happy with Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, which I saw at a midnight show with my favorite New York friends. It was a wonderful movie and a faithful treatment of my favorite book in the series. The movies just keep getting better and better. I also reread the entire series to ready myself for the final installment that came out at the end of July, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Ryan, Liz and Rose joined me for a midnight book release party on the Upper West Side. The next day was spent hiding in Ryan's empty apartment reading alone and shutting out the world to avoid plot spoilers and interruptions. And I must say that the experience was one of the most profound reading experiences of my life. No other book has affected me like that. Absolutely amazing. And now, almost regrettably, there is closure.

After that, I spent August considering moving to London. (That idea has been back-burnered for awhile.) Then I met Anna Katherine Gage, the new baby girl born to my oldest friend Kristina and her husband David (she was born on the day the Harry Potter book came out). Anna is a gorgeous baby and I look forward to watching her grow up. Later in September I decided to teach myself how to play the violin, a daunting but rewarding endeavor. It's another aspect that's going slowly but surely.

In October I took a trip back to my hometown and hooked up with an old friend that I hadn't seen in almost a decade. Funny and memorable stories came from that trip. But I also came back to New York with a renewed appreciation for my life here and the friends that I have close to me. Sometimes you need distance to gain a fresh perspective. I also got my fourth tattoo in October: Freedom! 

And November was a time that taught me the value of friendship, the dangers of being willfully independent past the point of all reason (as I am most of the time), that sometimes strength is asking for a shoulder to lean on, and that disconnection is something we must fight to avoid because it can sneak up on you. It was an important month in my inner journey.

I also got a lovely visit from Nando for Thanksgiving. Another thing that I learned this year is that the past is always with us, sometimes more apparently than others, but it's always affecting the present. More than ever I am aware that the present is a sum of the past, but the future is wide open. 

So what do I want from 2008? It's hard to imagine a more exciting year than this last one. I turn 30 this year and feel excited about a new stage in life. I feel like I've done my twenties the right way and come out with a good understanding of who I am and what is important to me. I figure that was pretty much the point. I look forward to finishing my first book—hopefully that will happen this next year. I am looking forward to Equus coming to Broadway with Daniel Radcliffe and Richard Griffiths in the fall. I am looking forward to Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince ­hitting the big screen in November. I am also looking forward to my first event at Madison Square Garden, which will be a Matchbox Twenty concert on Valentine's Day (which is even Rob Thomas's birthday!). I don't know if I'll be leaving the country again anytime soon, but I hope so. I could use a great deal on a trip back to London since there are a bunch of the Terra Cotta soldiers at the British Museum right now.

I have rambled enough. I hope to be back before too long to cover my favorite movies of 2007 and the great books I read this year. So look forward to that… Until then, I wish you and yours a very happy holiday season. Most of you reading this had some part to play in this magnificent year and for that I am grateful. I love you. Huzzah 2007!

Currently reading : Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal By Christopher Moore Release date: 25 May, 2004

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Mondays New York City Style
Current mood: happy
Category: Life

Getting out of bed on a Monday morning is notoriously difficult and as we travel deeper into Fall the darker mornings make it all the more appealing to hold on to the night a little bit longer, hit that snooze bar just one more time. Despite some extra incentive, yesterday was no different for me. I crawled out of bed in the wee hours of dawn. I dressed for the day and got on my faithful A train to midtown. It was a slightly less crowded morning train because of the holiday, which was a welcome reprieve. Normally, I take the A all the way to 42nd Street. Yesterday, I switched to the D at 59th for a slight detour.

Before work, I stopped by Rockefeller Center for a Matchbox Twenty concert. Allow me to ask you to just read that sentence twice. I am a devoted and loyal fan of the band, and most especially Rob Thomas, so I felt it my duty to attend their appearance on The Today Show. To my knowledge, Ryan and Trent were the only ones playing the home edition of Where's Jecka? and I wasn't carrying around a neon pink sign asking (the already married) Rob Thomas to marry me or a florescent green sign sending greetings back to my kids in Alabama so I doubt anyone saw me. There was a good crowd of people and we were all happy to dance and sing along with Rob and the guys. The Harlem Globetrotters were there as well. They make Matchbox Twenty look short. All in all a very fun way to start the day.



From Rockefeller Center, I walked down 5th Avenue and over to Grand Central Station to go to work. It was a waste of a day at work. All our Canadian offices were closed for Thanksgiving and half the people in New York took off to either celebrate or protest Mr. Columbus. Motivation was a bit hard to come by. So at lunch I met up with Ryan. He walked over from the MTV building in Times Square and together we picked up a couple of Jamba Juices and took them to Bryant Park. I am leaving town, again, this weekend so it was nice to have "lunch" with a good friend. Always feels good to have someone who wants to see you before you go, even if they did just spend an evening watching Boston Legal with you the night before. It was a bit warm. Summer continues to grip the city in 85 degree heat but when the sun sets you can tell it's a losing battle. The light has changed and the days are shorter and there are pumpkin spiced lattes at Starbucks. It is Fall in the city.

One of the nice things about the walk from Bryant Park to Grand Central is the view of the Chrysler Building. On a sunny day when there's a brilliant blue sky behind the shining silver spire it is a gorgeous sight. So as I walked back to work I reflected on its beauty and on the events of the day. I can think of no other place that would have offered me a Monday like that one. Rockin' it out with your favorite band is the only way to start the week and taking a break from work to spend time with one of your favorite people is always a great idea.

Currently listening : Exile on Mainstream By Matchbox Twenty Release date: 02 October, 2007

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Inspirations and Revelations
Current mood: excited
Category: Life

There are two things I want to write about in this blog. One is old and one is new. The first is a decision that I made last Spring that I haven't discussed in this space yet. The second is a decision made last week. When I went to London in March, I was reminded that I live in a city just as magnificent and full of possibility as that beauty across the pond. This will certainly not come as a shock to those of you who don't live here, but for those of us in the thick of it every day, it is easy to get distracted and focused on your inner circle and day-to-day rituals. So after the days spent wandering the streets and attractions of London, I came back determined to explore the same in New York.

Not long before I went to London, I had a life revelation. The answer to everything that I want in this world is to write my book. Everything that I think of as important will follow that. The book is the key. So my mantra this year has been: Write the fucking book, Jessica. I'm pretty sure the wording of it came from Steve, though Trent has been happy to adopt it as well. After London, and some deeper thinking about life, I realized that the answer to getting the book written was not more money that would lead to feeling freer to spend time on it, but more actual freedom to spend time on it. I realized that I could have more time and energy and freedom if I cut my hours at work. Granted, that required cutting the amount of money that I have on hand, but really, the things I spend money on only distract me from writing the book anyway, so the decision worked on many levels. My boss respects and appreciates me enough to make me happy and allowed me to cut my hours in the office by 25%— right along with my salary. Actually, I had to say goodbye to salary. I am back to being an hourly employee without any of those fringe benefits you get from a salary corporate job. But, it's a fine trade off.

When I returned from Colorado back in May after Nando's wedding I started working three days a week and my life has been tremendously better ever since. My stress level went down, my enjoyment of life went up, my freedom to move around and exist increased, and my sense of life became a sense of beauty again. Because I lack a certain amount of discipline, especially in those glorious summer months, the book has yet to profit greatly from this increased amount of creative time, but I have made good progress and look forward to more as the weather turns colder and keeps me indoors a bit more. But I want to stress that it was a huge mental shift. We're so trained to equate working with money and money with freedom that we frequently fall into the trap of thinking that working harder will lead us to financial security. I have remembered that the most important things in life are not purchased anyway, so why sacrifice time and energy to endeavors that suck the enjoyment from life when you can instead sacrifice some of the material things and suck the marrow from life itself—which costs nothing. Carpe Diem, my friends!

Before I continue on that tangent, I have one other thing to report. To aid the creative fire, I have chosen to acquire a new talent. I have been playing the piano for more than 20 years now. I have gotten great joy from it and an enhanced appreciation for music in all of its forms, which has played its part in inspiring my book. Now that I live in New York City it's hard to keep a piano on hand. They're large and heavy and expensive to buy and move. Even a keyboard takes up a significant amount of space. Next to the piano, the violin is my favorite instrument. I love the music you can create with it. So I have taken up learning how to play. I bought my first violin, who I have dubbed Sabine, last Friday from this huge music store on 48^th Street. For the last week I have been learning from a book about fingering and bowing techniques. My fingers and arms ache from the practice, but some pain is the price of most worthy endeavors. The progress I see when I put Sabine down after every practice makes it feel worth it. This idea has sparked an excitement in me that I haven't felt in quite some time. I feel certain that it will feed every aspect of this amazing life and especially the book. What better way to gain insight into a musical prodigy than to become one myself, right? Perhaps in a few months I will post a video so you can all share in my new obsession. I wish you all inspiration and passionate fire in this life. Take care.

Currently listening : Across the Universe By John Lennon Release date: 14 September, 2007

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My Harry Potter Journey
Current mood: amused
Category: Life

It may seem a little late to be writing this but when I started to write a blog about the books I've been reading recently it became clear that Harry Potter rated a blog all his own. It's been six weeks since Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows was released and I think that's enough time for me to have gained some perspective on it. (Also, any of you have had time to finish it so I'm not worrying about spoilers.) That book marked the end of a journey I started three years ago. I will grant you that's not very long compared to most Potterphiles. There were already five books out when I finally picked up the series and I only had to wait a few months for the sixth. But that's where I want to start… Back at that beginning because these last three years have been significant ones in my life...

I had steered clear of the Potter phenomenon for years. I tend to dismiss things that are so excessively popular. I have little faith in the masses to recognize things worthy of such worship. But this time I must admit that I was wrong to doubt Harry Potter's value. I'm not terribly sorry that I didn't start earlier. These last three years have been frustrating enough while I've waited for the peace of closure. Anyway, it was early November 2004, I was in a hotel by DIA with Dad and Ellen the night before we were set to leave for Mexico when we chose Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban from the Pay-Per-View options. Watching that movie was enough to convince me that I needed to give Harry Potter a chance. As it turned out, coming back from Mexico to my "real" life a week later was kind of rough; Harry Potter provided a convenient escape. Within the first few days back I had bought the first two movies and watched them both several times. I had been back to work a week--I remember because it was a Monday--when I went to my favorite book store in Loveland to pick up Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. By the following Sunday I was done with the first five books. I am proud to say that I read all 900 pages of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix within one day. Of course, since then, I have done the last two books inside of one day as well. But that's different… I also feel compelled to note that I was at Walmart at midnight the Tuesday before that Thanksgiving to pick up Azkaban on DVD and I watched it before going to sleep even though I had to work the next day.

So there I was, fresh from my first trip out of the US, armed with a new perspective on the world and on my life, and in love with this character who was inspiring devotion throughout the world. And ok, yes, I was infatuated with Daniel Radcliffe as well, which is a bit awkward as he was only 14 when he filmed Prisoner of Azkaban... but I digress… I was inspired by JK Rowling's talent and success. It sparked a furious bout of writing that led to the germination of the novel I am currenly working on. I had the idea and main characters for Symphony conceived by the new year. During that time I had also decided that I wanted to move to London. Fort Collins was no longer big enough to contain my thirst for life and experience. I had outgrown my current life horizons, as Joseph Campbell would say. I like to think of Harry Potter as a Herald, my Call to Adventure. He was the spark.

In July 2005 two things happened. One: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince was released--Dumbledore was dead and I was devastated. Two: I packed up my life and moved to New York City. (I didn't quite make it to London due to logistical issues, but New York certainly wasn't a bad runner up.) I didn't actually get here until the middle of August, I took some detours on the way, but as soon as I arrived my entire world changed, irrevocably. I'm not going to try condensing my life here into a few sentences. I wouldn't even know where to begin to start to try…

Two years later, I have read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, the final chapter in the Harry Potter saga. I know how Harry's story ends. Happy to say that I approve of the ending… I was seriously worried for a few pages there at the end. I have never had a book make me weep to the point that I couldn't continue reading because I couldn't see through the tears--incredible. And even though Harry lived through his tale, I have grieved him. I am sad to have come to the end of that journey. When I finished the book, I didn't know what to do with myself. I had to simply read it again because I couldn't let it go.

Notes on the book itself: I loved it. There were so many moments that were absolutely brilliant. It was moving, and creepy, and disturbing, and angering, and frustrating, and illuminating, and wonderful. I think my favorite part is when Harry digs the grave for Dobby. That passage is the most perfectly captured for me. I also love the humanizing of Dumbledore that began at the end of Phoenix and was so eloquently concluded in Hallows. Also, for all those who want to rejoice in the "redemption" of Severus Snape and revel in being "right" about him, I continue to dislike him. He's not forgiven. He was always a bitter, resentful ass that projected his own inadequacies onto Harry because he couldn't grow up and let the past die. Not what I consider a heroic character. For that reason and others, I was disappointed in the Epilogue. It was too much information in too small a space. I could do without it. But Harry's walk into the forest will rank as one of the most memorable and affecting moments in my reading experience for a long time. Stunningly, heartbreakingly, eloquently beautiful.

The day the book was released, while I had myself in solitary confinement at Ryan's vacant apartment, my oldest friend gave birth to a baby girl: Anna Katherine Gage. It's amazing how easily some chapters in our lives are marked. That's not really my chapter, though I did get to meet the little beauty last weekend and I fell in love with her instantly. I guess I'm just reminded of how journeys are always starting and ending in this life. Some of the most significant and profound are easy to spot from the beginning, others are not… I could never have imagined the impact a decision about Pay-Per-View in an airport hotel would have on my life.

Here's to you, Harry. I love you.

Currently listening : Buffy the Vampire Slayer - Once More, with Feeling By Various Artists Release date: 24 September, 2002

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Taking Stock and Saying Thanks
Current mood: contemplative
Category: Friends

Today is my daughter's 8^th birthday. That's a pretty big deal and it has sent my brain into wild convulsions and meanderings down memory lane. This is one of those days of the year for me that I spend reflecting on all that has changed in my life over the years. There are some of you who know what I was like before Haley was born, even before Kyle was born, though you are a precious few now. He'll be 12 in September. Unbelievable. Anyway, this time of reverie (and one of those crazy surveys that are so popular here) has inspired me to look at my friends list and just sort of take stock.

9 appear to be ghosts, because it says I have 75 friends, but only 66 appear on the list.

I have met 49 of them in person (including Rob Thomas, even though I know that it's not really him that's my MySpace friend, I wanted to count him anyway!)

I haven't met anyone in person that I befriended on MySpace first.

I met at work or have worked with 10 of them, 4 of them currently.

I have lived with 12 of them for some period of time, including the 3 I live with now.

5 are family (my sister, her husband, his mom, his brother, and his daughter), plus Nando and Steve who've been adopted in

9 are friends from college, 9 from high school and 1 from middle school

5 have known me more than 10 years (and I mean consecutively—friends from high school that I haven't spoken to since then weren't counted)

16 are friends I've made since coming to New York, 7 live in Inwood

9 are friends of friends (who haven't quite made the upgrade to personal friends, yet—7 have gotten that upgrade and all with the exception of 1 came from Ryan)

I've gone out drinking and/or gotten drunk with 25 of them. I think 10 have made it to brunch at the Kilt—that count could be off however as time at the Kilt involves many mimosas.

I have kissed 6 of them and slept with 3, been seriously romantically involved with 2 (there was another that all three of these applied to, but he unfortunately had to be deleted—maybe he's one of those ghosts. Damn stalkers!)

I've had crushes or been infatuated with 8 of them at some point or another and I'm pretty sure they're all aware of that.

8 have kids (that's including one who will become a father next month), 12 are married (that's counting you Stacey, hope you don't mind) and there's one that I know of that's divorced.

Currently listening : It Won't Be Soon Before Long By Maroon 5 Release date: 22 May, 2007