Most Haunted in Portland, aka…
Category: Parties and Nightlife

The Top-5 Most Haunted Locales In Stumptown.

Every year I write about various places within Portland where you can (perhaps) catch a glimpse or hear the sounds of the long departed. Knowing people have a limited time with which to get their creepiness on; Geek in the City presents the Top-5 Haunted Locales within Portland.

Honorable Mention – The Lady in White @ The Rose & Raindrop

This site would have rated higher, if would be ghost hunters were still able to investigate Portland's first morgue. Sadly, the Rose and Raindrop closed its doors almost two years ago and is now a bank. (Thankfully, the new tenant kept many of the buildings gorgeous architecture in tact). Captured on film, video, and seen by numerous eyewitnesses, the Lady in White was a local legend. No one knows why the Lady in White roamed the upper dining area within the Rose and Raindrop. Some believe she simply does not realize she has passed on and continues to roam the location where her body left this mortal coil. However, some believe her paranormal searching has a more sinister path. Some believe the poor Lady in White is still searching for her young son, a son that met a quick demise when he saw one of Portland's first Shanghai location put to use…

Number 5 – Depressed Spirits - @ The Vista Avenue Viaduct

While not the biggest bridge in Portland, the Vista Avenue Viaduct (commonly known as the Vista Bridge) is still a beautiful stone arch bridge for both car and pedestrians. Stretching over the Goose Hollow neighborhood in SW Portland, the Vista Bridge tunnel offers some of the best views in the city. However, during the Great Depression, the original Vista Bridge (then able to carry Portland's many Streetcars), saw more than its fair share of despondent jumpers. Death was assured after the 120-foot drop to the pavement below. No longer a "prime" location for jumpers, the Vista Bridge is still known as Suicide Bridge to Portlanders with a taste for the macabre. EVP is difficult due to the constant traffic on and below the bridge, but many Orbs have been photographed.

Number 4 – Ghost Stories @ Powell's Books

If I had to haunt one location for all time and I couldn't make it to the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland (what, I can't help it); I think Powell's Books on West Burnside is a strong follow-up. Would it surprise you at all to know that many an unnamed phantom wanders the hall of the countries largest used bookstore? No? Well, what if I told you that every time you enter from NW Couch Street you pass the Earthly remains of Walter Powell, founder. At least his home is more secure than his previous locale, being an urn behind the counter in the Rare Book Room. (A nice place to spend all time I suppose). It would appear that 'ol Walter still loves his precious rare books, as he is often felt and heard wandering the room. Ask the employees that work the room, they will tell you that Tuesdays are his favorite night, for reasons unknown. Finally, while Powell's highly discourages this practice (as it is rather ghoulish and illegal), many a mourning family have been known to spread some ashes of their loved ones within this massive store. Who knows what kind of energy such actions leave behind? Still, we recommend you just send loved one away with their favorite book, so as not to be vacuumed up at the end of the week.

Number 3 – The Stubborn Man @ The University of Portland

Started in 1901, the University of Portland is commonly known as the "Catholic School" in North Portland. While the school administration is hesitant to comment, many students have claimed to hear and see spirits wandering the halls of higher learning during the quiet hours of the night. There is, however, one building where even the faculty and stalwart priests will admit to something "being off". The University Commons was the one time home of Frank Houston. A rather stubborn old man, Houston refused to sell his property to the University, as he openly loathed the priests of the Holy Cross and often called them old black crows. After his passing in the 1934, his widow sold the land to the University. To this day, faculty and students have heard a ghostly scream of old black crows throughout the Commons. In addition, priests feel a cold and chilling presence within the rooms and electrical equipment often fails to work properly for them. It would seem that even in death, Frank Houston sticks to his Protestant belief.

Number 2 – The Lost Child @ Cathedral Park

Located in St. Johns, just under the east side of the St. Johns Bridge (indeed, the bridge itself provides the parks name), Cathedral Park is a study in contractions. Built under one of the final gothic style bridges in the country, Cathedral Park was not always the idyllic location Portlanders find it today. Once a location for flagrant prostitution, drug dealing, and other unsavory actions, Cathedral Park claimed its first spirit; when poor Thelma Taylor, a 14-year old girl, was kidnapped, beaten, and finally death days later underneath the bridge. While Portland police will not confirm or deny the calls, many a local reside have made claims of an unearthly scream coming from the park. Each time the police find no evidence of the screaming girl. In recent years, Cathedral Park (and most of St. Johns) has gone through a positive metamorphosis. No longer a haven for illegal activities, Cathedral Park is one of the more pleasant parks within the city... until the sun goes down and the spirits rise.

Number 1 – The Land of the Dead @ Lone Fir Cemetery

It seems that no Halloween season can pass without some mention of this gorgeous cemetery. (And, perhaps one of the most peaceful locations within the City of Portland). Lone Fir Cemetery is the oldest place of eternal rest in the city. With a long past and home to many of Portland's more colorful residents, it is little surprise that most paranormal investigators consider this area the most haunted in the city. You can pick up dozens of different EVPs (and in varying languages including English, Cantonese, and Russian), and all manner of spirits, rods, and orbs have been captured on film. Still, even in the afterlife there are celebrities. Lone Fir Cemetery is no exception. Located within the iron fence lay the man that started the practice of Shanghaiing in Portland, a horrible man that even shipped off his son. Portland's beloved "singing drunkard", a man that had not a cent to his name but a voice that compelled people to buy him spirits and ales, and later a cemetery plot. A high society prostitute (with a massive "client bought" tombstone) rumored to have been killed and mutilated by her disgusted and puritanical sister. Then there is the giant mausoleum simple known as "The Wall". This family crypt is known as one the single most haunted tombs in the country, yes, country. (Take all the photos and EVP you desire, but do not attempt to enter. It is wrong and illegal). Lone Fire Cemetery is a favorite for history buffs, ghost hunters, and a local group of Goths that treat the location as a holy site and are known to care for and trim the grounds. While Lone Fir is public grounds, it does have a sunup to sundown rule. Get permission first, since cops regularly patrol the area, especially this time of year. As one that personally loves this grand old cemetery, I urge you all to purchase tickets for the Lone Fir Cemetery benefit concert at the Doug Fir Lounge, featuring Storm and the Balls, Amelia, Jum Brunberg, and many more.

And now, as promised, my request of you the fantastic Geek in the City readers. To put it bluntly, after four years of covering real haunts in Portland, I am plum out! (In fact, a few were repeated on this very list). So, if you know of a place I haven't mentioned please drop me a line...Even better if this is a place myself and my intrepid ghost hunting companions can check it out, legally!

Stay scared!

5:15 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Meeting the Mythbusters
Category: Blogging

Thanks for the Lovely Jenn for providing this fun write-up...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Greetings from the still-starstruck lovely Jenn. Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman swung through Portland Sunday for a spirited question and answer session with Rick Emerson at the Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall. I was impressed with how many school-age kids were in attendance and genuinely thrilled to see Adam and Jamie in person. Some of the best questions came from the younger kids. There was a precocious boy no older than six or seven who asked Jamie what it was really like to be in the Tesla coil. As this kid grows up, let's hope he uses his knowledge for good.

During the discussion, Adam and Jamie repeatedly stressed that even when their experiments "fail", they are still successful because they learn from the experience. The guys were incredibly down-to-earth, and obviously enjoyed sharing the love of their work with the audience. On the question of how to become a Mythbuster, becoming a voracious reader is key. Neither of them specifically trained for the field, and insatiable curiosity about what makes stuff tick keeps them going. Get your hands dirty, explore the world around you, and maybe (big maybe!) someday you can get paid to conduct wacky experiments and blow stuff up.

We watched blooper reels, many explosions, and footage that couldn't be aired. I laughed so hard I was nearly in pain. Only the Mythbusters would build a rig specifically for the efficient lighting of one's farts and capture the results with a high speed camera. Good times.

After the show, Aaron and I went backstage for a brief meet and greet in the green room. Ack! How do you prepare to meet your heroes? I have a great deal of respect for Adam and Jamie, and I was terrified of coming across as a goofy fangirl. (Says the woman who wore her "Danger - May Geek Out With No Warning" t-shirt and Kermit the Frog cameo lapel pin to the event – hey, at least they were given a little bit of advanced notice.) My heart pounded as we waited in the hallway before we were invited in.

Aaron swears to me that I was fine, and that I didn't geek out too badly. He was introduced as "the guy working to get 42nd Avenue renamed as Douglas Adams Boulevard," and Adam wished him luck. I asked Jamie how many resumes they receive, and his response of a half-dozen a day surprised me. I really expected his company to get more, although potential applicants may have done their homework and noticed that the website clearly states that no applicants from outside the Bay Area would be considered. I didn't have a follow-up question ready, and I didn't want to take too much of their time because after two hours of answering questions, they were probably ready to relax and be out of "onstage" mode.

We posed for a couple of photos before leaving the Mythbusters at the mercy of a group of anxiously excited kids. I think I made it as far as the first landing before I lost my composure and went massively giddy. Wow!!! By the time I got home, my brain was itching with questions I should have asked in order to start a good conversation with them. I have finally come to the conclusion that under the guise of a routine meet and greet this is a tough task, and I shouldn't be ashamed of not making a stronger impression with them because "I'm such a huge fan of your work! You guys are so awesome!" is generally a non-starter. It is so hard to turn off the little fantasy in the back of my head where I talk shop with them and compare notes on projects. I really just didn't know where to start.

At the end of the day, my inner child is still doing cartwheels over meeting the Mythbusters. My next goal is to have a beer or two with Mike Rowe. Don't laugh. You'd jump at that opportunity the same way I would.

5:52 PM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Cthulhu – Spoiler Free Review
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

It seems there are only two ways to approach a Lovecraft adaptation. One, you shoot for the over the top insanity and horror, such as Stuart Gordon's classic, Re-Animator. Or, you attempt a decidedly more cerebral and emotional approach, as is the case in Dan Gildark's film, Cthulhu. Taking inspiration from the Lovecraft novella The Call of the Cthulhu and the short story, The Shadow Over Innsmouth, Cthulhu is so much more than a tale about religious cults in a small coastal town. Cthulhu delves into the very real and painful relationships between father and son. Between living your present while facing your future.

Don't worry; this is still a film deeply rooted in Lovecraft's nihilistic world. Darkness is afoot…

Director Dan Gildark effectively weaves real emotions with a town hiding a hideous secret.

Currently listening : The D Matter: Cemetery Gates Release date: 2008-08-26

9:17 PM - 5 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Final Game Day Tomorrow!

...Oh the year. (What, if the proprietors of Guardian Games can sucker me in with that line, I can do the same). Still, that doesn't change the fact this Thursday, September 18 at 6pm; Guardian Games is hosting the final Adult Game Night for 2008.

Keep reading for more details…and, I promise to show you images of a hot Cosplay babe dressed as Samus Aran. No, really, I will.

Seriously... Go to GeekintheCity.com

8:58 PM - 0 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Understanding Grant Morrison… Maybe.
Category: Writing and Poetry

Wow, never thought I would write that sentence on Geek in the City. Seriously, this is the writer I've both worshipped and lamented upon for years. This is the writer that pens Arkham Asylum, The Invisibles, but then goes bat-shite insane with Final Crisis and Batman R.I.P. His current run on Batman has the fans scratching their heads with a collective WTF. I mean, you'd be hard-pressed to find a bigger Batman fan and historian than your friendly neighborhood Geek. Still, even I find myself flipping through my Bat-Library to look up exactly when the Caped Crusader traveled to another planet, turned into Superman, came back to Earth, and then talked to a pasty version of Mr. Myxylplyx. (You confused? You should be, unless you're Grant Morrison, Todd Sheets, Jett, or yours truly). Now, I won't go into Batman's extremely convoluted 70 years history (made even more so, considering all his pre-Crisis on Infinite Earths past is back…kinda'). Just trust me when I say I know what issues and story arcs Grant pulls all his obscure Batman knowledge for the current R.I.P. story-arc. Now, I think I know why.

He's flaming Frank Miller.

Didn't expect that one did you? Neither was I until I re-visited my copy of All-Star Batman and Robin Vol.1. In between moments of Batman running over his girlfriend with the Goddamn Batmobile and backhanding that little punk Robin because he almost killed Green Lantern, it hit me… Grant Morrison totally hates Frank Miller and his R.I.P. story is some meta-literary-wanking flame war. Okay, perhaps I do need to give some back-story.

Seriously, the same guy that sent Martha Washington to war is the same writer that calls you a retard for reading the Goddamn Batman.

Although, to continue, I'll need to dig into Miller just a little bit more. In the pages of All-Star Batman and Robin (henceforth known as ASSBar), Miller has all but removed the character of Bruce Wayne. His Batman is all id, with little to no outside influence or control. Even when he "accepts" a ward and partner in Dick Grayson / Robin. (He actually just kidnaps the little punk; mere minutes after young Grayson watched his parents take a couple of bullets in the head). Frank Miller's modern Batman is a Batman without a soul or a care for his fellow humans.

Since taking over the writing duties on Batman, Morrison's been running hard on the remembrance train. He brought Bruce and Talia's son back into continuity. (Okay, not just like Son of the Demon, but still). He brought back the Batmen of the World and the Detective Club. He resurrected Aunt Agatha and Kathy Kane (one more literally than the other). Joe Chill received a mention, if only in a dream, he's still there. Hell, Grant Morrison turned Bat-Mite into a central plot-point for heaven's sake! In short, that mad Scotsman brought back everything Frank Miller hates about Batman. He brought back all the weird and, dare I say it, "comic" elements of the Dark Knight.

Grant backs my fanboy rambling with a single line from Batman 678… "The Batman of Zur En Arrh is who you get when you remove Bruce Wayne." Right then and there, Grant drops a flame on Frank Miller. The Batman of Zur En Arrh is mean, nasty, dirty, violent, and Bat-Shite insane. (Though he does have Bit-Mate, talking Gargoyles, and the Bat-Radia to help him out). Morrison's ongoing run on Batman is his attempt to bring back the status quo he loved as a youth. A Batman that worked at night, but also knew the day is bright. A Batman that loves his city of Gotham. True, the city took his family, but it is a Gotham worth fighting for. Hell, even Nolan's grim version of Batman in The Dark Knight understands why Batman fights. Frank Miller? Nope, he just likes to kick cops in the junk and hump it out with Black Canary under their capes. You know, the same thing a 13-year old boy would do if he had superpowers.

9:43 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

The Dead Matter – Score Review
Category: Music

Hard to believe it has been 10 years since I purchased my first Midnight Syndicate CD. It was early October 1998 and I was stalking the "seasonal" CD section of Sam Goody. The usual box of "horror" CDs arrived, packed with the same old crap you can find at the check-out isle this very moment. I mean, how many symphonic versions of the Nightmare on Elm Street theme does one need? (To say nothing of the fact that an electronica-trace-hoppy version of the Halloween theme is not only a pox upon horror music, but good taste in general...Also, the theme to Jaws is not a frakking horror track, stop pressing it).

Yup, it was going to be another year where all I had for mood at my place was the soundtrack to Bram Stoker's Dracula and an ancient mix-tape of K-Tel Presents the Worst (Bes) in Horror... Complete with 1960s voice-overs of African Cannibals Eating Flesh (why always Africa, that doesn't seem right). And, my personal favorite The Aliens Land. Then I saw it, a CD cover ripped directly from the angst ridden mind of Mark Rein·Hagen; Midnight Syndicate's Born of the Night. I flipped it over. Sure, it had tracks named Masque of Sorrow and Lost Souls. Who the hell was I to judge? This is the same Geek that had just confirmed his participation in a Halloween night Vampire the Masquerade LARP session with the Portland Rose Camarilla group; which is another tale for another day. (Yes, you may laugh here, I'll give you a minute)... Done? Good, we can move on. Anyway, I bought the CD, took it home and was hooked. Maybe the album was a tad synth heavy and the Midnight Syndicate folks took their Gothic atmosphere a tad too seriously. But, that didn't matter. They clearly loved the dark and brooding genre that accompanied many a night watching classic Universal and Hammer horror flicks. They had a new life-long fan.

Which brings us to 2008 and their newest release, the score to the soon to be release film from Midnight Syndicate, The Dead Matter...

So, how does the newest work from Midnight Syndicate compare to their earlier works? In a word, wonderfully. Opening in a grand style with a booming pipe organ on Cathedral Ruins, you have no doubt you're listening to a Midnight Syndicate album. Some might criticize them for such a cliched opening, I applaud them. This is the dread and atmosphere building music I want as the leaves slowly fall and the nights grow longer. However, it is clear the musicians continue to grow, as the drum beats in the opening of the second track, Shadowed Grove, illustrate. The Dead Matter runs the spectrum of Gothic horror. Unlike many modern horror scores that relay on cheap spikes in volume and instrument to garner fear, The Dead Matter takes its sweet time. This is music to play with the lights dimmed and the outside world cut off.

In Across the Chasm, I could quite easily imagine what horrors lurk beneath the fog as I crossed. Unholy creatures waiting to take me into whatever pits they thrive. Only to find "relief" in tracks like Cemetery Gates. Many a writer has described the peaceful nature of the quiet grave; Midnight Syndicate gives it a voice. Then, without warning, the listener is pulled back into the bombastic Gothic imagery with tracks like Alchemists Chamber. The Dead Matter even has a few tracks that feel like a Wagnerian epic. Indeed, when Forging the Scarab began, I thought my player had inadvertently switched to the Conan score. While most of the tracks lack this visceral punch, it does reveal Midnight Syndicate's versatility. I would also be remiss if I didn't recommend this work to all my fellow gamers. As in their previous works, Midnight Syndicate makes for perfect background music. (Even better if you can build your own play list from their vast library).

Currently listening : The D Matter: Cemetery Gates Release date: 2008-08-26

8:31 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

For Those Of You Just Joining Us...
Category: Writing and Poetry

So, this is taken from a mindless ramble I posted at the Cort and Fatboy Message Boards. Folks suggested I re-post here on the award winning Geek in the City. Always wanting to do right by my readers... Here now is the Final Crisis re-cap, from the mind of one highly confused DC fan... Your friendly neighborhood Geek.

Okay, so I've sat down and re-read Final Crisis from the "beginning" to prep myself for the "month evil won"... This will have spoilers, so click away if you don't want to know....

1st - Disregard all books leading up to Final Crisis (i.e., Countdown, Death of the New Gods, etc.)

Yes, some events in Countdown are acknowledged in Final Crisis. But, not many. In fact, only the Evil Mary Marvel seems to fit in...And even that is a stretch when you compare Countdown Mary Marvel to Final Crisis Mary Marvel. (Although, would it KILL DC to have at least one or two innocent characters... I take that back... Can we have a couple of female heroes that aren't driven by revenge, abuse and/or rape? Thanks).

2nd - You pretty much have to ignore all other DC books. While there are a grip of Final Crisis tie-in books. (Like FC: Requiem and FC: Revelations, the DC titles proper appear immune... This is why Batman is captured and incapacitated by Darkseid's minions in FC, but is the Batman of Am-Myn-Ranma-A-Go-Go over in the core Batman titles).

3rd - Morrison appears to have carte blanch when it comes to characters living or dying, as well as editors having or not having input.

4th - Morrison is an insane Scottish peyote smoker and likes to take readers on Carlos Castaneda's trips through the Superhero world. (Opinion only, don't sue me).

5th - He is trying to incorporate The Bleed and other elements of the Wildstorm Universe... Please see point the 3rd for reasons why.

6th - Morrison loves Jack Kirby more than the most ardent Silver Surfer fan. (This will make sense in a minute).

Okay, with all that out of the way... Here we go:

Darkseid is sick and tired of the good guys winning and puts into motion a plan to wipe out all the pesky New Gods (see point 6) while slipping into the fabric of humanity. See, all of Darkseid's past attacks upon the New Gods and Earth used blunt force trauma. The Lord of Apokalipis is not known for subtly.

Until Final Crisis.

Using his own minions, Darkseid spreads his "anti-life" into the very fabric of humanity and according to Final Crisis and Morrison, has been doing so for years!

However, he isn't content with just our Universe. No, Darkseid wants them all to bow to his will... For Darkseid Is! With all 52 Universes (down to 49 now I think) having their own Monitor, Darkseid knows he can't just stomp on one galaxy and move to another.
Hence, the slow boil.

First, using an old school villain from the Silver Age (Libra), he forms a creepy order of bad guys. Using the "Crime Bible" (See DC's first weekly series, 52 for details). Anyway, the first hero they kill is Martian Manhunter, as he is the only hero that EVERYONE in the DCU trusts and with a thought, he can warn EVERYONE with a cape. In Final Crisis 1, he dies like a little bitch.

So, go out and read Final Crisis: Requiem. It is a one-shot and shows our favorite Martian did indeed put up one hell of a fight and damn near survived. A fitting death from such a pillar of DC's history.

Okay, he's taken out. Next, you gotta' remove the Big 3 without warning anyone... Batman gets tricked into something and it overwhelmed by Parademons possessed humans. He is quickly plugged into an Anti-Life machine by a reincarnated Desaad and removed from the picture.

Oh shit, I forgot... ALL the New Gods, save the Black Rider are dead. That does include Darkseid. However, this was all part of his plan. Remember "Darkseid Is". He can't truly die unless sent into the Source Wall. (I know, Superman put him there once, don't ask).

Oh yea, Barry Allen is also back. Taking notes from Marv Wolfman himself, Grant Morrison explained the only way to bring Barry back. When the multiverse shattered and collapsed into 1 universe after Crisis on Infinite Earths and Zero Hero, the cosmic threads that bound all the previous worlds into one still existed. Those threads were the shattered soul of Barry Allen!

So, when the multiverse came back in 52, Barry Allen slowly reformed. With Final Crisis, the worlds are coming into contact more and more and The Flash was able to return to Earth... Long enough to warn the other speedsters that death was coming. (Literally. By the way, The Black Racer can't out-ski The Flash bitches).

Anyway, Barry Allen isn't fast enough to catch a temporal bullet that fired back in time to kill Orion: The Harbinger of War (and Darkseid's "good" son). Hence, preventing Orion from truly ending Darkseid's life in the present and ruining all his plans. (Oh yea, Darkseid CAN be killed by Orion due to a bizarre line Kirby wrote in the 60s "And so the son doth become the father").

This all-making sense? Didn't think so... Well, we press on.

Wonder Woman is taken out of the picture by... Hell, I don't know how. Morrison doesn't really touch on that one. It doesn't help that every ones favorite Amazon is still public enemy number 1 in the eyes of US Government. What with Maxwell Lord's public execution a few years back and that whole "Amazons Attack" debacle.

Finally, a minion of Darkseid LEVELS the Daily Planet with a terrorist attack. Clark is fine, but guess who isn't? Yup, Lois Lane is in a coma and only Clark's heat vision is keeping her heart beating. (Don't ask, readers are just as confused as you).

Anyway, the only heroes with any real clue are The Question (Yea, Renee Montoya bitches), um Batwoman (kinda), and some lame-ass Japanese characters Morrison created but no one gives two fraks for.

Then, somehow, Wonder Woman is able to convince the JSA that some serious crap is going down and needs to activate all heroes in the world to fight back. People don't know what she is talking about, but she's friggen Wonder Woman, so they listen.

So... The JSA activates every hero in the world. Most of who are still oblivious to events... Green Arrow and Black Canary are too busy humping it out, Supergirl is too busy diddling herself while trying on new costumes... etc.

Oh snap. I forgot. Darkseid created this super-global-uber-bad internet virus that can infect EVERYTHING plugged in. So, Barbara Gordon tries to unplug the Internet. (No, not joking). She fails because the latest issue of Final Crisis ends with...

"The Day Evil Won"!!!!

That pretty much brings us to now. This is the month when Final Crisis goes on hiatus for a month and EVERY BOOK in DC has the "Month of Evil" issue.

Oh yea, there is Final Crisis: The Legion of Three Worlds. I'm told it is a damn fine read. It does pair up Geoff Johns with the legendary George Perez... But, I just don't have the scratch.

So, what do I think Grant Morrison is doing? Well, as always he is aiming for the fences and I gotta' give him props for that one.

He is trying something different. Instead of the WHAM-BANG event crossovers of the past... He is showing what happens when evil truly does work up to a slow boil. The problem is that his story is so massive, it takes 3 issues to build to a punch.

It is also terribly crippling that all the titles we DC readers were told were going to "matter" as the lead into Final Crisis don't matter one hill of beans. Hell, not even the currently running titles are impacted by Final Crisis.

Hell, I'm not a big fan of Secret Invasion, but I gotta' give kudos to Marvel editorial. There are keeping a FANTASTIC leash on all the titles. You don't have to buy all the tie-ins, but at least each book's tie-in fits with the over arcing story. (In all honesty, I like the direction Bendis is taking. After a decade, the Marvel Universe feels like a cohesive universe. As much as any comic book universe can. But, Mike, when you nuking Stumptown as promised)?!

Please fill in anything I missed or got horribly wrong. In fact, I'm willing to bet I did. However, that is the problem. I think you could ask 10 DC fans what is happening with Final Crisis and you'd get 10 answers.

Finally, please pop on over the Legion of Doom and thank them for their fantastic Final Crisis "posters". Good site!

Currently listening : Thing a Week Three By Jonathan Coulton Release date: 2006-12-12

5:54 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Top-5 Films About Opening a Portal to Doom!
Category: Blogging

Hey, FYI, must of us are going to die tomorrow when some scientists create a Black Hole at 12:30am Pacific Time. No, really, most of you are doomed to have your body ripped apart at the subatomic level faster than a stream-crossing paranormal investigator and eliminator. Fine, don't believe me. But, while your getting all obliterated into absolute nothingness, I'm gonna' be sitting back, laughing my ass off while earning 20%.

However, if you too would like to live large after the temporal apocalypse, read on and learn what films will teach you important life lessons…

Honorable Mention: The Gate (1987) – This movie has one of the most righteous posters of all time. Seriously, this is something I expect on the cover of The Ruins of Undermountain Level 666! (Speaking of which, why didn't they ever list Level 666. Come on D&D, if you're gonna' get called evil, go for broke). Anyway, this classic 80s film from Canada, you learn the portal to hell is in your back yard if you dig up a tree; you get what's coming to ya'! The only redeeming factor in The Gate is the Ray Harryhausen style stop-motion demons. Sadly, you won't learn any lessons for surviving the coming entropic apocalypse.

Number 5: Evil Dead 2 (1987) – I know, shocking that I would put the greatest film ever made at the weak 5 position. However, for all the stunningly awesome that is Evil Dead 2, it doesn't do much to prepare one's self for a big-ass hole in space / time. Then again, when can't one take life-lessons from Ash? I for one never leave the house with a shotgun and chainsaw…and a prosthetic chin. (I mean, the good Lord broke the mold when he created "The Man").

Number 4: Dungeons and Dragons (1983-1985) – Okay, so not really a movie. Still, one can learn many life-lessons from those youths as they traveled on the D&D Coaster and entered that magical realm. What lessons? One must remember that your clothing and social standing determines your Class in the world of D&D. With that in mind, dress accordingly tomorrow. (I'm shooting for a Ranger with slots in Two-Handed fighting and a specialization in Lightsaber).

Number 3: The Black Hole (1979) – Ah, this is a little more like it. Here we have an honest to goodness temporal vortex. And, it has these cute as a button floating robots that talk like a Frontierland Tour Guide! (Except the terrifying Maximillian, I mean, what the hell was Disney thinking. Good Lord, that red beast still gives me the willies). How can this movie help you? Dammit, it can't either. Okay, it is clear that when those scientists turn that Collider on, we're just screwed. So, just enjoy the fact that the nihilistic death we're all about to experience is no where near as bad as the final two films on this list.

Number 2: The Mist (2007) – When that air raid siren kicks in, you can pretty much consider your ass a goner. You're only real choice is how you want to go out. You can take the easy (although possibly cowardly) way out, simply suck on a barrel and pull the trigger. Or, you can go out like a man and face the spiked tendril from the human-faced spiders conjured from the greatest depths of abyss and gazing about that which man was not meant to know! Hand me the gun! If I'm gonna' be eviscerated by vile beasts, I don't want to feel it!

Number 1: Event Horizon (1997) – You all laugh at me. You all taunt me for liking this film. Ha! Who's laughing now? Me that is who! Tomorrow, when we're all sucked into a hell dimension; you'll get the full on eyeball-CENSORED and I'm gonna' be the one joining with our infernal overlords! So there!

Thus ends the weakest Top-5 in Geek in the City history. I feel such shame. I should gouge out my eyes…

8:27 PM - 6 Comments - 7 Kudos - Add Comment

Star Trek Born Today in 1966...
Category: Friends

...or, The Final Frontier Turns 42!

It would be simple to write about how Star Trek changed both the pop culture and technological landscape. Why? Every Geek blog or site worth their Dilithium is doing that. Technically, it would be Lithium; the name the writers called the fantastic crystal that powered the Warp Drive in Where No Man Has Gone Before. (They were quickly corrected by members of the scientific community). Instead, just a simple thank you Gene Roddenberry and his vision of a better tomorrow.

5:41 PM - 9 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Southern Reflections, or...
Category: Parties and Nightlife

...How a Portland Geek Spent 72 Hours at Dragon*Con!

Before you continue, I feel I should give a couple of disclaimers. First, you won't hear any Geek news or movie exclusives ala, Comic Con. Nor will you read about my reactions as I saw the debut of this trailer or that show. In fact, I can tell you now, I learned absolutely nothing new within the realm of Geekdom. Indeed, that might be one of Dragon*Con's greatest strengths. It is the last of the great pop culture / Geek gatherings with only one true agenda; bring Geeks of all type together in a desire to celebrate all that is wonderful about fandom. Will the day come that Hollywood sinks it's talons into the great city of Atlanta every Labor Day Weekend? Perhaps, but for now, you will not find a greater collections of unashamed Geeks, Nerds, Gamers, and Fanboys & Fangirls... It's like Mos Eisley Cantina, but without the Droid hating. (Or, no blaster rule when I think about it).

2nd, as if you haven't already figured it out, this post will come darn close to "navel gazing". I can only hope I'm able to use my rather limited communication skills to keep you, the fine Geek in the City reader entertained. If it will help, this article will have all kinds of pictures from the 2008 Dragon*Con! And with that out of the way. Here we go...

See, right off the bat I drop a picture for you fine folks! Granted, it is boring sign, but a picture none the less.  (Sorry, I hate messing with MySpace Blog Pictures, pop on over to Geek in the City for the illustrated version).

Even as I waited in line for my pass, I can't help but smile as I see every demographic represented. It doesn't seem to matter ones race, gender, age, or political leaning; we're all here in the muggy ass South because we love our stories. All around me, people are quoting movie lines and laughing about something they once saw in an episode of Dr. Who or are joking about the worst saving throw ever made! And, it is a very good thing I find this all so terribly amusing, since this cattle rustling of a line would put any Disneyland ride to shame. None of that matters though, after waiting for my turn at the ticket booth, I take my glorious badge adorned with the indie comic character Nova (and a swanky Press ribbon) and stride into convention proper.

Before my eyes can even adjust to the brighter than suggested light (we Geeks aren't a fan of light), I bump right into Leelo and Corbin Dallas. This is gonna' be frakking great! My first nerdy picture out of the way, I press on. Music blaring from all around. From Celtic Flutes to Postmodern Steampunk Rock, this is everything you won't find at other conventions. (You also won't find a creepy undead clown that took pleasure in licking my freshly shaved head. I almost ran away, but he promised to eat me last, so I acquiesced).

Right away I find a familiar face, well, as familiar as one can consider an internet only correspondent. The fine musicians of Abney Park. A Seattle-based band, Abney Park is the kind of band Jules Verne would have formed if he had any musical talent... Complete with steam-powered guitars and Tesla Coil violins. (Remember that Postmodern Steampunk music I mentioned, this is them). Seeing their collection of CDs, I have the first of many urgings to remind them that I promoted their music in Film Fever Radio and love to review genre musicians on Geek in the City. Thankfully, classier thoughts prevailed and I simply shook their hands and moved on.

Then. It. Happened.

I rounded a pillar and saw a hot as fireballs gamer babe strutting past me in a well-made and fair-priced "Natural 20" shirt. Trying my best to not turn into the gamer stereotype, while at the same time pointing right at her well-rounded tracks of land I proclaimed, "That is a great shirt"! She smiled and slowed, clearing trying to decide if I was genuinely interested in her shirt, or just angling for a way to buy her some drinks. "Thanks, I bought it online at...um... Shoot, a Geek site...Damn".

Um, you bought it through Geek in the City.

"Right! You know the site, cool".

Well, yea, it is kinda' my site...um, that is one of my shirts.

"No way! You made it"!?

Well, technically, CafePress made it, but I designed it. (Note to self, like being asked if one is a God, always say yes).

"Oh, well, that is still cool. Hell, would you sign it"!

Really?

"Yes I'm serious".

Okay, cool. (I say, feigning humility whilst whipping out a silver Sharpie for just this occasion... Thank you Jayesunn Krump for hammering the habit into me). I ask her to turn around, she laughs at me and does the thrust. (You dudes know what I'm talking about. THE thrust).

"No way, sign right above the dice".

Um, okay... Oh, sorry about that, I didn't mean to touch...I mean...opps...Um...Sorry...Oh man, this is awkward... (WOOO, I RULE).

"Sweet, thanks"!

And, like that, she was gone. I never saw her again. I like to tell myself she simply went home after receiving my glorious signature. However, it is far more likely she just got lost in the 30,000+ Dragon*Con crowd.

This was gonna' be a righteous weekend!

Atlanta was a busy city over Labor Day weekend. Not only was the city assaulted by over 30 thousands Geeks of all shapes and sizes, but college football ushered in the new season. Atlanta did it's part by hosting a massive game between college rivals Alabama State and Clemson. (Um, I think, it should come as no shock that I don't really keep up with sports, to say nothing of college sports). You haven't truly lived until you see a squad of Colonial Marines, a Predator, and Harley Quinn looking across the elevator at a group of Frat boys dressed in their school colors. Each side wondering why anyone would go out in public looking like a freaking idiot. It was during this bizarre mixing of hobbies that a strange thought struck me.

I am really under dressed.

For the first time ever, my standard wardrobe of jeans, Doc Martins, and a comic book shirt don't cause me to stand out. Actually, that isn't true. I do stand out. You know the saying about the one-eyed man in the valley of the blind? Well, I was the under dressed mundie in the valley of the nerds! Right then and there I decided it is high time I make myself a costume. (But it can wait, because there is no way I was gonna' join the ranks of the 300 lbs, no matter how popular they became at the Con).

Up to the signing room I went.

From current A-Listers to one time B-Listers, the signing rooms are a strange mix of fandom, awe, and a hint of desperation. For each line that wraps around the room to catch a mere glance at Edward James Olmos or Robert Englund, there is the sad table where actors from long forgotten shows wait for any recognition. Fame and fandom is a strange thing. I wonder how I would react if one day I was on the cover of TV Guide, only to find myself hawking my autograph for $20 a pop. Would I be bitter? Would I be grateful for even slight recognition? (I think my previous account of boob signing answers that question). Or, would I simply wonder where I went wrong in my life? Then again, everyone sitting behind a table was or is famous, no matter how limited that fame was. And I? I was one of their fans and I'll be damned if I gonna' just let them sit there, not thanking them for the hours of escape they provided me. With that, I marched proudly to Linda Blair's table. No reason I couldn't buy a photo and have her scribble an ineligible name upon it. (It should be noted that with very few exceptions, no one's signature is eligible. They all look like serial killer handwriting... Except for Nichelle Nichols, her penmanship never lacked).

Wait, the chick that got famous by slammed a crucifix into her holiest of holies is charging $40 a pop for her name, $20 for posing for a photo?! WTF?!

See, something has happened within the realm of Sci-Fi conventions. Something that I am not at all happy about. Since when did celebrity guests start charging for their signatures? let me back up. I've been to many conventions. Dozens. However, it has been a solid decade since I've attended anything beyond the local comic book convention. However, back in the day, you paid your rather exorbitant entrance price and with that price came the promise of guest autograph. And, assuming you didn't blow the line time by haggling for the European cut of Aliens (totally worth it, back in 1988), you got that signature. If the guest was especially gracious (as was the late James Doohan and the current George Takei), you got to chat a bit and pose for a photo or two. It would seem that is no longer the case. Now, in addition to dropping $90 for a weekend of geeky fun, you have to drop all kinds of credits for a poorly rendered name on an overpriced 8x10 photo. $50 for Adam West! $40 for Linda Blair! $60 for Edward James Olmos?! I mean, I love Admiral Adama as much as the next BSG fanatic, but I have a line. That lines clocks in to the tune of $60. It is one thing when an underemployed actor relies upon convention experience to round out their income, but when you're an actor with a steady gig. Come on, give a fan a break. As such, I left Dragon*Con with nary a celebrity autograph.

Okay, I did get one... Mr. Dean Haglund of The Lone Gunman fame hooked me up with his comic and signature. Although it helped that I reminded him of his appearance on Ground Zero Radio back when I ran Clyde's show. We laughed and lamented how we both haven't been able to find a decent showbiz gig since getting canceled. (However, I reminded him that he was Dean Haglund and I wasn't). I also promised to pimp his laptop cooling product... As I am a man of my word... If you want a reliable and tested way to keep your laptop cool and in perfect running order; then you owe it to yourself to pick up a Chill Pak. The 2007 Inventors Expo Silver Medal Winner. No joke, the damn thing does work and it works very well... Plus, it was designed by a Long friggen Gunman! How could you not want one?!

Still, as cool as it was to sit and chat with Ringo Langley, nothing compares to my moment with Lance Henriksen.

That's right haters, your friendly neighborhood Geek chatted with Bishop!

Kinda.

Sorta.

See, I was getting some water after talking myself out of an autograph with Richard Hatch. (Whom I would later learn enjoys the same libation as I, Dirty Gin Martini with 3 Olives, natch). Anyway, as I started to drink, I darn near spilled it all over my chest as a door swings open out of nowhere and out steps 'ol Pumpkinhead himself! Flanking him are his handler for the weekend and some dude with a mess of cameras. They're jabbering on about something. I do my best not to Geek out. Then, his handler gets in my face and bluntly asks, "Hey, will you hold Lance's soda while he poses with this guy? I'll get you a photo after if you want".

Uh, yea, you bet!

"Great, hold this".

Lance keeps blathering on about something that I simply can't make out. That gravely voice of his having the same effect upon me as did the Black Tongue of Mordor had upon the Council at Rivendale. Camera guy leaves. I hand my soda back to the handler who promptly returns the sugary drink to Lance's grizzled hands. Then, without a pause the handler tells Lance he has to pose with my lame ass. Mr. Henriksen is not amused. (Although he didn't look all that happy to being with).

"What? Another one, good Christ, okay"

Hello Mr. Henriksen, it is a true honor to meet you. I am a longtime fan.

"Great, hey, you married"?

Why yes, yes I am. Almost two wonderful yea...

"Let me tell you. You need to watch out for them women, they'll get their hands into you and never let go. Even after divorcing their ass".

Actually, I am very happy with my marriage. In fact I...

"Yes, sure, they say they want the divorce to be fair, but hire a couple of lawyers and all of a sudden it is your ass in the fire".

Right, well, I wouldn't know. I am...

"Bitches man, all of them, bitches".

Uh, yea...

"Mark my words, if that wife of yours ever even mentions a divorce. You get a lawyer and you go for the throat".

Well, I don't think.

"For. The. Throat... We done? Cool".

Thanks for the photo Mr. Henriksen...

I never got a reply. He was off to sign photos of his half-torn body for 30 bucks a pop. (Something tells me Robert Englund made more money that day, since he picked up the check at Trader Vics not 8 hours later).

Still, it wasn't all hot Geek babes in costume and absurd celebrity sightings. No, there were also moments of pure inspiration. Moments made by one of my favorite authors, Peter David. We didn't have a chance to speak one on one, but at a special dinner, Peter gave a speech that reminded me of something I've long since forgotten.

We're all here because we love stories. We love creating and sharing. We all have a gift for bringing our hopes and dreams to life. No matter how many times you receive a rejection. No matter how many times you fall flat on your face. The greatest crime comes in not living your life to the fullest. In not striving to achieve all is in your heart and soul. That life is precious and all too often, short. We must never stop telling stories. We must never end the journey, for the journey never truly ends... It simply gets passed from one visionary to another. Humanity moves on and it is our task, as fans and dreamers, to insure the stories never come to an end.

For that all too short a weekend over Labor Day I was surround by 30,000 people; all of whom were gathered for the same thing.

To show their support and admiration for the stories that made them the people they are.

And, to promise those that came before that they will continue for those that yet to be.

I left Dragon*Con with a new sense of purpose. It isn't about being famous or cool or popular or rich.

It is about the stories and our drive to tell them.

Thank you.

(Look for more photos posting tomorrow afternoon).

3:50 AM - 4 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment