My Celebrity Look Alikes

MyHeritage: Family trees - Genealogy - Celebs - Collage - Morph

Of all of these women I've gotten Ava Gardner from a few old guys, and I've gotten Brook Sheilds when I was a kid.
Normally I get Bettie Page and Uma Thurman (in Pulp Fiction)

2:30 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

If I had to choose one memory to hold on to-

I just watched this Japanese movie called "After Life" and the premise of the movie is that after you die, they take you to this place and ask you to decide on one memory to take on to the next life with you

If you could not decide on one memory – you are stuck in that place helping other people decide on what their memories until you do.

It would be impossible for me to chose one, and only one!

I would always want to remember the first time I saw my little brother when he got out of the hospital when he was born!

I would always want to remember the first time I saw my baby sister when she came her for the first time from Germany!

I would always want to remember when I was 6 years old and my mom and dad almost got back together and we went to the airport to meet his flight!  I was excited, because I hadn't seen my dad in so long that my only real memories of him were based on pictures.  I was wearing this colorful dress, and I had ringlets in my hair from the pincurls my mother had put  in.  I had plastic gift wrapping ribbons in my hair, multicolored, and curled like my hair.  It was almost christmas and I wanted my mom and dad to get back together for christmas. 

I would always want to remember Grandma and Grandpa's house.  The smell of grandma's cooking mixed with the smell of grandpa's feet.  I would sit on his big feet as he walked us both into the kitchen for dinner.  That was the only place I felt really safe.

I would always want to remember listening to my other Grandpa play Earnest Tubb songs out of the back of his van, and we'd sing them together.   "Walking the Floor Over You" was my favorite.  I would always want to remember the bicycle he made me from parts he picked up at various swap meets.  He would always check my tires and oil my chain everytime he came around.

I would always want to remember going fishing with Grandma, and how excited she got everytime she caught something.

I would always want to remember my nephew Dakota giving me a "Time out", and the way Kaed runs into everything head on!

I would always want to remember how happy it makes my Grandma to feed my Niece Callie!

I would even want to remember those uncertain times when I was on the road with my mother and brother, moving from one place to the next, not knowing what suprises the next place held. We'd sing all the way.  We'd sing "Que Sera Sera" (which is the first thing I learned in Spanish) and "The Name Game"  Whenever we'd pass road kill (especially if it was a skunk) we would break into "Dead Skunk in the Middle of the Road"

I would always want to remember  the way Mt. Raineir looks in the morning when the sun is still behind it, and there's a mist in the early morning air.  Then there's that fresh sharp smell of green that you get  every Spring in the Northwest that promises sunny day's to follow.

I would always want to remember the day my friend Andrea and I finally became friends although we had known each other for awhile.  We went on a feildtrip to Leavenworth, Washington.  It is a little German village in the mountains, and all the forign language students went.  We went into this store that sold music boxes, and we both loved the puff the magic dragon one.  That put us into a fit of nostolgia that had us both rolling down this hill in the park.  It was something we both enjoyed doing when we was younger.  We rolled over and over and faster and faster.  Then we got cold and got some hot chocolate while singing "Puff the Magic Dragon"

There was the day I met another one of my best friends, Jeff- at the acting conference.  I won the State Thespian Award that day, and we met, and walked to this cemetary at night.  I never want to forget that.

I don't want to forget the day I met another best friend of mine.  Zayid.  I met him the day I put my ex-husband on a bus bound for the West coast and away from me.  My life was in chaos, but we clicked right away and I made a cool friend.  He's getting Married tomorrow, I'm sure that's something else I am not gonna want to forget.

I would always want to remember the day I met my first love.  Until I met him, I thought that love was for everybody except me, since none of the guys I liked up until that point liked me back!  It was a gorgeous summer day on a ship that went from Victoria, BC to Seattle.  I remember his blue shirt, bolo tie, and trench coat.  He held one headphone of my walkman to his ear as I held the other to mine and we walked along listening to the Pretty in Pink Soundtrack.

I would always want to remember my last love.  I loved those moments when he would lay across from me facing me, and he would hold my hand.  I could never forget how I felt when he would look at me the way he did!  I would always want to remember skydiving with him.  It was so symbolic for me to be falling from a plane with the man I had fallen in love with.

I would always want to remember the first time I set foot in NYC.  I felt at home for the first time in my life.  I have the rythem of this city in my bones and I haven't stopped moving since.  The heat from the exhaust of the vehicles.  The various smells, all assulting me at the same time.  All the colors, textures, layers, stories.   I rememver being a little scared at first.  I liked being a little scared.  That fear disappeared quickly as I let this city embrace me the way it has many a misfit before me.

I would want to remember all the places I've been to and things I've seen!

I never want to forget Paris.  The  Jazz club in the basement.  The Seine at night with the lights of the city reflected in it's waters.   The View of the city from the steps of Sacre Cour while the lonely sound of an accordian plays in a distance.

Then there's London!  The view of Big Ben and Westminster Abby from the Top of the London Eye.  And then there was Stonehenge!

I don't want to forget Germany, and exploring the small Town of Bitburg on my first day there.

There was the 2^nd time I went to Switzerland to visit a friend, and she took me to a gorgeous chalet up in the Alps.  I was there for the first snow of the season!  It was phenominal

There's also the Rockies here in the good old U.S. of A!  In september when the Aspens are changing colors and hills are gold is another thing I never want to forget.

Mexico city with all it's colors and warmth! 

Beautiful clear nights in Texas where you can see every star in the big sky.

I never want to forget the fun I've had with friends at Coney Island.

The road trips with my Grandparents and going to Graceland for the first time.

I don't want to ever forget Tromping around the woods with my dogs when I was a kid, Swimming in the Gulf of Mexico, walking around Seattle on a rainy day and ducking into a coffee shop for a bit.  The smell of the coffee.

My life hasn't always been great and fun, but I've done sooo much, seen soooo much, experienced soooo much, and there are so many people I love, my life has been way too rich for me to decide on only one moment to hold on to.

I really liked that movie a lot though.  It made me think. 

7:00 AM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Trip and Go Naked Like it was 1995!

Back in 1995, before Guiliani's caberet laws and all his nonsense tried to killed club life here in NYC- There were tons of fetish parties where people would run around naked and actually play more than they posed they way they do now.

The performers were ecclectic and electirc.  Not every act contained nudity, but most did.  Some were really outrageous – some were dramatic and emotional- but all were intense and required so much creativity.   Many of the performers even make their own outfits – but at least there isn't much actual clothing to most of the outfits.

They were these freaky free people, out there, open, and very perverted.  They pushed each other to get even more perverted and even more out there…………All made you question! 

Who is this person?

What are they going to do next?

Why did they do that?

The reigning Queen of the perverts was Otter .  While Chi Chi was our Mother and Empress, Otter was our Queen.   Now I thought  I was a ballsy bitch.  I thought I had seen some shit and done some shit (although I had done nothing at that time – other than marry a schizophrenic with major vanity related issues.  I was just 23 years old).   I was intimidated!   She was this tiny pale girl.  And wild!  She has this huge personality and does whatever she wants.  Yeah she gets crazy.  This girl talked about fisting they way the rest of the world refers to just plain old making out!   As wild as she is – she's got heart.

I went to her party before I even knew her.  We weren't close friends, but her room mate was my hairdresser, and we'd chat sometimes.  I didn't want to like her because my future ex-husband wanted her and I was jealous of her.   Obviously I had to get over  this. I would have exhausted myself hating all the women that greedy fucker wanted in addition to me. 

Most guys are just greedy as hell anyway.  Why fight it?   At the same time- just because someone wants me- likes me- loves me- whatever- I just don't feel that special.  I know I'm always "one of", and not "the one".

How could I not like her?

Did I forget to tell you that this woman  could shoot FIRE out of her PUSSY?   I'd like to see some of those chicks from Bangcok try that!

Fire always impresses me – but people who can do weird things with their bodies impresses me even more.  Add fire and I am VERY  ENTERTAINED!

Most of the acts that hit the stage involved bodily floods.   Blood (both real and fake) seamon, juices, sweat,  sometimes even simulated crap.  Yuck.  Some acts were beautiful, and some were definitely not for those with weak stomachs.

Well Otter moved to New Orleans awhile ago and has taken to writing plays and musicals and she has her own theatre.    Back in March of this year she and some friends of hers got hit by some drunk bitch.  Her and her husband have had  a lot of medical/financial issues since, and one of her friends died.  Otter almost died!

  Well her close friends here in NYC (I am not one of her close friends) decided to do a Burlesque benefit in her honor!

When I heard about it I immediately started texting everyone I knew so I could take the night off work!  I took one look at the list of performers and I knew EXACTLY what I was in for!  I knew I would be kickin' it old school!   It was like "Trip and Go Naked" met "Jackie 60" and I was thrilled.

The girl that covered for me at work is my hero!

So I got there really early because I didn't want to miss anything.  The doors weren't even open yet – but I was feeling good and seeing pretty colors.  Everything looked beautiful and glimmery reflected in the rain drenched streets.   It started to rain, but I didn't care.  I sat under an awening at an outdoor café until the place opened up.

The Slipper Room is where it was held.  It used to be held at the Pyrimid.  Those were wild times.  The Slipper Room is a gorgeous space with lots of character.  Sitting there I felt like I was waiting for some old time Vaudville  show.  The different colors of the curtains surrounding the stage and the little runway gave everthing an antique feel.  The lighting made every thing look kind of sepia.  The tapestries on the walls were just gorgeous.  I got a great table- and waited for my friends Porno Jim and Dicie.   I felt like I was in this beautiful timeless place.   I felt like I was in the 1923, 1995, and 2008 all at the same time.  Three levels of Bohemia.

 I invited some friends but they didn't come.  I guess they didn't believe me when I told them this show was gonna kick ass. 

The show  started with a little go-go action by a guy that was dressed like pan.   I don't think he made as much money as the girls did, but he was feirce dressed like pan on stilts.  Hard to dance on stilts.  Amber was dressed like a Jungle Queen and was ready to go-go, but she didn't make it on! 

The World Fameous *BOB* (who deemed herself a female drag queen)  was the MC of the first act.

 The first act consisted of these girls that did a grave yard/zombie act that was cute.  Ammo did her catholic Nun performance that ended up with her doing some pretty unholy stuff with her rosarie.  It was deliciously sacrelidge. 

The girl that does the fire act at the Coney Island sideshow was there.  I forget her name .  She's beautiful  and has tribal tattoos on her face.  

Another performer I didn't know did this really twisted act that consisted of her stripping – then in the middle of her dance she acts like shet is cramping.   So then she acts like she is having a mis-carriage and pushes a fake foetus out of her snatch, then she acted like she was eating the foetus.  It was deliciously disgusting!  

The first act ended with Rose Wood throwing shit at the audience, because I guess that's what Rose Wood does.   Was far enough back to not get shit flung at me.  Fortunately the shit didn't hit the fan.   Rose Wood is like a Drag Queen G.G. Allen.   Although I would never do it, I definitely understand the desire artists may have some time to throw feces at the audience.   When I'm up on stage and on the rare occasions that they're not responding, I kinda want to throw shit at the audience too.  Kinda like  "Here!  This is the best crap I've got!"

I was mesmorized by the go-go-dancer that danced inbetween the first and second acts.  She was the cutest girl with this big blond mohawk.  She had a cute little pixie face, and she would make funny faces sometimes when she danced.  Of course I had to tip her- let's just hope the pictures that were taken while she was taking that five dollar bill out of one of my rings isn't seen by family members.   I didn't want to tip her by putting the money in my mouth, then have her remove it with her snatch like she did with everyone else.  I'm sure she has a perfectly nice vagina, but since I don't know her, I didn't want it in my face- and money is filthy.  I don't put money in my mouth.  She did though!

Mistress Formika took over as MC for the second act!  I love Formika and haven't seen him in years!   He was always so kind to me in the old days at Jackie when I was at coatcheck.

The second act consisted of a lot of Jackie 60 legends!   Marti Domination did her shoe dance, Poison Eve performed to "Queerest of the Queer" by garbage.  He had fangs on his nipples.  He had blood everywhere, it was classic.

Keith and Stephanie (The Bindlestiff Family Cirkus)  did their balloon act, and that was adorable too!  Not all acts involved nudity, blood, and such!

My favorite was someone I didn't even know!  This beautiful black woman with a huge afro wig came on stage naked except for a g-string that was made to look like a bush.   She was on a spinnin platform, and she did her act to the song "I'm Every Woman"  She pulled bracelets, necklaces, and belts out of her huge afro, and she pulled her  entire out fit out of her cooch and got dressed and such on stage while spinning around on this platform!  Then she pull a scarf out of her ass and tied it around her neck, and she pulled a purse that matched her shoes out of her Afro.   It was AWESOME!

This gorgeous Midget was the go-go dancer before the last act.   I went up and tipped her too of course!  Got to tip the go-go dancers!  Especially if you're gonna take like a billion pictures.

In the third act Rabbit came out dressed like a matador and did a hot striptease to some very dramatic spanish music.   Then right after (in keeping with a  Spanish Theme) Velocity came out and did some dramatic knife slashing performance to another very dramatic Spanish song.  I think she kept the fake blood in her cooch, I'm not sure.  There was blood all over the place though, and I don't know how she did it!

Rose Wood came back on and stuck the neck of a bottle of whisky up his ass, took a swig from it, then threw the whisky out into the audience.  Again, I'm glad I wasn't in the front row.

For the grand finalie Flambeax got onstage.  He did a bit about getting kicked off of "America's got Talent"  Acted emotionally disturbed.  Then he poured what was supposed to be lighter fluid over the audience and chased people around with his tourch.  Then he went into how Otter was his "Sickness Mommy" and asked her to put out the tourch he ad attached to his crotch.  It was twisted.

  I like this kind of entertainment.  It takes a lot to shock me, but I enjoy being shocked.   I like performances that are "in your face" The performers I have seen have made me cry, have turned me on, have turned my stomach, have made feel feel many different things at once.   That's why I'm glad that Burlesque is still alive as an art form, and I'm glad I know so many creative people.

The party was awesome.  Slaves running around naked.   Orgies taking place in one of the smallest, dirtiest bathrooms in the Lower East Side!  It was like old day.    "Daddy" and "Mommy" a.k.a. Chi Chi and Johnny (of Jackie 60 fame) were there.  I think I saw Deborah Harry there too!

Also saw the multi-talented Gabrielle there!  I don't see her enough, but am always thrilled when I do.

The crowd was mixed.  Gay, Strait, Swingers, Bi, perverts of all kinds.    These are the people I feel most comfortable around.  They're not hiding anything. 

There was this one couple there that you could tell this was something totally new to them.  They seemed a little afraid.  It's not those that are flying their freak flag high and proud that are the scarey ones!  It's the freaks that are pretending to be normal and running out governments, our schools, our companies, and our religious institutions that you really have to fear. 

I also had a small chat with Otter.  I didn't want to keep her from her friends, but I confessed that I didn't want to like her when I met her and it was just jealosy.  I then told her that it's ballsy bitches like her that inspire me.

She didn't remember me from years ago, but that didn't hurt my feelings. Besides, I've changed.  For the better I think.  I wouldn't have recognized me either.

5:50 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

YOU STOLE MY DRAWERS!!!!!!

I've been one money making momma at work lately.   Long busy shifts.  Yesterday was my only day off, and my only chance to catch up on some laundry.

I go to a laundry mat around the corner from where I live, and a couple blocks from there.  I like my laundy mat.  The people who work there are really nice, and it's not too cramped in there like it is in most city laundrymats.

So I mind my own business and try to stay out of the way.  I drink my little energy drink, I play some solitaire.  Sometimes I go outside and make a phone call and play a little catching up with the friends and family.  I talked to my sis for a bit yesterday, played a little solitaire, and got my laundry out of the drier when it was done.  All the while I was trying to stay out of the way of the crackhead that was running around accusing people of stealing his laundry.

That's the one down fall.  The laundrymat I go to is frequented by a lot of homeless people.  Most of 'em are no problem.  Kinda weird, but they mind their own business.   Most of 'em are still pretty polite.  There's this one older hispanic guy that always says "I love you mommy" (as if I'm old enough to be his mommy)  He says it any time he sees me on the street too.  He's harmless.

 I'm not complaining about the homeless.  Not much seperates me from them.  I'm just lucky enough to have friends and family that would put me up for a bit if I needed it.  Hell, all New Yorkers are thankful for any and all hygene mesures they decide to take!   One stinky homeless person can clear the entire car of a train!

So.........I'm folding my laundry.   Like most girls, I have a few pairs of mens boxers that I like to sleep in sometimes.   I bought a 3 pack of haynes from the drugstore, and I bet my great grandfather had some just like 'em back in the day.

The 70-something year old crack head decided that those boxers were his.  He had 2 pair and those were one of them!  So he comes at me like he's gonna fight me for my underwear.   So I said something to the effect of "if you take one more step toward me you crazy crackhead motherfucker I'm gonna clean the avenue with your skinny ass!!!!" 

The very Buddhist guys that work at the laundry mat stepped in.  They tried to calm him down, but he kept yelling at me "YOU STOLE MY DRAWERS!!!!! BUNCH OF THIEVES HERE, THEY KEEP MOVING THING OVER!!!!!! YOU STOLE MY DRAWERS!!!!!!  AIN'T YOU GOT ANY UNDERWEAR OF YOUR OWN!!!!!!!" 

Now I'm sure at some point in his life he probably had "drawers" just like mine.  but mine weren't one of the two pair he said he had!

The desire to slug him was over come with all kinds of laughter.  Everyone was laughing!  I told him that I have plenty of underwear of my own, because I stole Britney Spears' underwear and that's why she ain't go no panties!

It went from crazy, to funny really really quickly.  What the hell would I do with an old mans haynes boxer shorts?  Put them on my head and rub one off while fantasizing about  the crazy old crackhead?  LMAO!   All the women at the laundry mat quicky saw the humor of the situation.  Some crazy old crackhead accusing ME of stealing HIS underwear!

Just another crazy New York story I just had to share!

6:33 AM - 3 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

The Accidental Priestess
Current mood: intense

The first words I ever said on stage were:

Baaaaa Baaaaaa

Black Sheep

Have you any wool?

Yes Sir!

Yes Sir!

Three bags full!

One for the master.

One for the dame.

One for the little boy – who lived down the lane.

Baaaaa Baaaaa

Black Sheep

Have you any wool?

Yes Sir!

Yes Sir!

Three bags full!

I think of this simple children's rhyme, and I think of the master…….I think of the dame…….I think of the little boy that lives down the lane.

I also think of how symbolic the Black Sheep is.  I also think about how everyone wants something from the black sheep. 

I could never be a saint and am perfectly happy being an accidental priestess.   If I were a saint though, I would be the Saint of the Black Sheep.

It's ironic to me that somewhere along the line, I would find myself attempting to lead the black sheep.  Because I am so familiar to the dark, I will often go to dark places and try to bring those misunderstood souls to the light place.  The place where people laugh, and enjoy sunshine even.

I was always the misfit and the class clown.  I would make even those who hated me laugh, unless they were the butt of my joke, and were smart enough to know it.   I've always known there was truth to the preaching's of Jesus, and the part about "he who cast the first stone" always resonated to me.  It gave a little lee-way to those who were far from perfect- by reminding us that none of us are.  My more fundamental beliefs are pagan in nature.  The light cannot exist without the dark.  There is no good by definition without evil.  No one is perfect or good.  You can even apply the eastern religions beliefs with the yin and the yang.  In nature fall and winter are masculine, and they are a time of death, while the goddess rules during spring and summer:  The time of rebirth and growth.   One cannot exist without the other which is why I do not understand why most people think in terms of black and white.  Good and evil.  I've found good in evil places and I've found the pit of darkness in that which was deemed "light" and "good".

In school, I was always the girl that people spilled their darkest secrets to.   For some reason, everyone can tell that I will not judge, unless under the most extreme circumstances.  Unless someone has raped, molested or killed- I will not judge.   Even if they killed, I would understand under circumstances required by job, or survival!

If someone's gay in my circle, I'm usually the first person they tell.  I had this female friend that always had a little bit of a dominatrix lesbo vibe to her, and I actually think I let her know she was a lesbian dominatrix before she knew it.  I also was the one to assure that oral sex with a chick is a lot of fun.  I also let her know that she'd be great at it without even trying.  She and her girl have been together for over 5 years now ;-)  And all those silly lesbians think us bi girls are the ENEMY??????

If someone has submissive or dominant tendencies, I listen, then I try to point them in the right direction.  If someone has the soul of an artist and has found their medium, I will support them in every way, and do what I can to help them in their career.  If they suck though, I will tell them that too, because I am not a phony.   Sometime someone needs to be told when they need to find another passion.

In high school, I've had more than one friend tell me that they had been molested or abused.   I'm sure this wasn't common knowledge.  I am trust worthy, so I did my part to make sure it never became common knowledge.  Again, I also let them know that they were not alone.

I've put my arms around those who don't know anything other than abuse!  I've wished that the fact that I loved them and accepted them and appreciated them was enough to heal them.  At least I could let them know that THEY ARE NEVER ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe it's the accidental priestess (if you're pagan) or the Saint of the Black Sheep inside me that led me to becoming  a bargain basement therapist/ bartender (because I'm honestly not just in it for the money here- we all need A LOT OF DIFFERENT KINDS OF HEALING!!!!!)  And a comedian. 

I just figure, you can either laugh, or kill yourself.  I've tried both.  Laughing is more fun.  It's also better for you and your loved ones.

Everyone knows that the best comedy comes from more than a little bit of pain.   At least anyone that knows anything about comedy does!  One of my best moments from comedy came from coming off stage, and having some metal head from Jersey tell me that he really related to my set.  Although since I had read the poem "Alone" by Edgar Allen Poe (if you haven't read it:  look it up.   It's become kind of like a prayer to me when I have felt totally alone); I have known that I am not, and never will be alone in how I feel.   I gave him a hug, and let him know that's there's lots of us out here!!!!  I assured him that he was definitely not ALONE.

Not all people dwelling in the dark are demons.  And don't forget!  Some demons have wings.

Some have called me an angel.

I'm the furthest thing from pure.

I'm as Black as the blackest of the  Sheep I sheapord.

I think of myself as a friendly demon.

It was at some point in my late teens while hallucinating and roaming the hills of Seattle that I decided that I was chuckles the friendly demon.   Goddess of my own hell.

I have people asking me "what should I do?"  People write to me, call me, and collapse in my arms.   All I can do is tell them what I would do- because I'm just as much of a mess as anyone who comes to me for council. 

That is why I call myself the accidental priestess.  At least I can relate to the congregation!

5:27 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

One fall evening in 1989
Current mood: happy
Category: Friends

I was excited!  I was going to get to go to the State Thespian Festival and my friend Mark Rockwell and I were going to perform a little one act play called "Where Have all the Lightning Bugs Gone?" on the Main Stage at the festival!  What an honor!  We did it!  We had gotten to the State competetion with a little boy meets girl story that we had condensed into 10 minutes.

Now that I think about it........to this day that was probably the largest audience we I had ever performed in front of.  Over 500 people in the Auditorium at this community collage.  All my life I wanted to feel like I was exceptionally good at something, and I finally did it!  With a great friend none the less!

After the play, I was feeling more than a little akward, and went outside the auditorium and was sitting on this stone wall.   Although I wasn't nearly as social as I am now, I still would seperate myself my classmates on fieldtrips because as much as I loved some of 'em, I also just got tired of looking at the same faces all the damn time!

While I was sitting on the wall this cute guy walked away from his friends and toward me, and he was smiling at me.  He said he liked my performance.  Then we started talking about The Cure, since I was wearing my Cure "Boys Don't Cry" t-shirt.   It was my only pastel item of clothing (well, I consider gray to be a pastel black), that I owned.  Most of my clothing was black and totally wrong for this character that was suprisingly a lot like myself!  Black is usually not a great color for the stage either.

Jerry Seinfeild does a bit on how much harder it gets to make friends the older you get.  I don't know how many friendships I started as a kid because the other kid liked the same band I did or when I was younger- the same cartoon character!

We formed a quick friendship.   He was smart, charming, funny.  He also had a dark side that I liked, when he revealed to me the desire to go to a graveyard that was down the road from where we were at!   So I went to a graveyard at night with a strange dude I did not know withen 10 minutes of knowing him.  Something I would never do these days!

It was a bit of a walk, but not too long.  We strolled around, noticed which graves got love, and which ones didn't.  Then we strolled back.  We lost track of time (which would become a theme when we would talk sometimes!)   By the time we got back everyone was kinda looking for us!  I missed the awards ceremony--where my acting partner and I won the award.  I was known to be more than a little free spirited, so no one was surprised that I was not there.  At the graduation awards ceremony my French teacher was surprised that I WAS there!

I hung out with my new friend Jeff, and his friends from Federal Way, which was about 1/2 hour or so away from where I lived.  We wresteled in the hallway of this community collage.  He had no problem pinning me to the linoliam since he knew a few moves and was more of a jock than I was.

We swapped phone numbers on little scraps of paper the way people did in the old days before everyone had a cell phone and just programmed the stuff in.   We went our seperate ways.

The next day he called me, and my step father answered the phone.   Of course he had to make a big deal out of the fact that a guy was actually calling me.  It was kind of a big deal because most of the guys that called me were gay.  So were most of the girls come to think of it.  I got hit on by more girls than guys in high school.  Even if the guys in my school did like me, I was too weird and too geeky for them to risk being seen with me by one of their friends because their friends would give 'em hell.  Then they would say they were fucking me or something to make it acceptable.  My new friend's friends were actually kinda jealous of him for hanging out with me because a couple of them thought I was cute for whatever reason.  I just thought I was chubby and pimply and that's why I would hide behind my hair and underneath the baggiest clothes I could get.

All the way up until I moved away to New York during  fall of the following year; we talked almost every day for like a couple hours a day or so.  We talked about everything.  We would debate.  We would read poems to each other.  We would play songs for each  other.  We talked about our pasts.  We talked about our futures.  We talked about how it sucked that we didn't have cars and couldn't hang out more often.  We were thrilled with our mostly phone friendship, but wished we lived next door to each other. 

Spring of '90 I met my first serious boyfriend, Charley, and Jeff was the one to help clue me into what was going on!  I would ask "I know he likes me a lot!  WHY HASEN'T HE KISSED ME???"  Jeff's answer to the problem was that I had to get really close to him, look him in the eye and say "What's up homeboy?"   I was like "What?  That's IT?"

In '91 I got into a car accident that screwed up my back, and landed me in the hospital for 2 weeks.  I went to work, and I went on a Skiing trip with the family I worked for as a nanny.   The father was driving and we got into a t-bone (which is kind of like a head on) collision on the way back.----Jeff freaked out even more than my family did!   He couln't imagine if I had died.

My ex-husband didn't like Jeff.  He was jealous of all my male friends.  At that point I had 2 male friends (and they are both Taurus - which means they aren't going anywhere and will always be my friends) that he couldn't stand.  He hated it that Jeff and I would end our conversations by saying "Luv ya!"  I think it's something we started after my near death experience, but I not sure.   My ex-was just being retarded because I say that to my dearest female friends too!  When Jeff got into his first really really serious relationship his girl had no problems with me.  She was a sweet girl.  Very interesting, very cool, and always nice.  She was also smarter than my ex-husband and realized that if we really wanted to hook up- we had plenty of time to do that way before.  There was a little bit of chemistry when we met, but we never even made out!

We maintained contact for the following 10 years, seeing each other occasionally.  Last time I had seen him I was hanging out with his mother (who I adore.  She's always been good to me) and his girlfriend who I really wanted to get to know more,  as well.   One of the future inductees of the "Bobbie Jean Daniel's Jackass Hall of Fame" was there too.  I have a picture of all of us together near pikes place market in Seattle.  It was 1999 I'm pretty sure.

We lost touch after 9/11 because I moved and all kinds of major changes.  I went to Dallas as some of you know.

I would check on-line from time to time looking for him.  I searched for him enough times that my computer would just fill in his name for me.  I looked up his mother as well.  Her e-mail bounced back.   At one point in 2003-2004 I ended up  living in Federal Way, where he was from, and during the holidays I would always wonder if he was next door from me, or one street over, or just a few miles away, or in another country, or where he was!

Well, he found me on myspace, finally!  We've been talking a lot the past week and a half, and it's great how much some things are the same.  There are tons of different things in our lives now, but now we are in touch, we will not lose contact again.  Those things that made us friends almost 2 decades ago- will probably keep us friends for decades to come.  It's great to know that after all these years, we both still care so much about each other.

*So here's a toast to being found by a long lost friend. 

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You're really upset who is the first guy you go to? J.Z. and he know's it. You're really upset whos the first girl you go to? Aimee, she's one of very few who does not judge me even if she doesn't understand me. Can you do a split? NOPE.   Good thing I have no desire to be a cheerleader! Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Jose Do you think you have made a difference in anyone's life? I hope I have made positive differences.  If not, I hope I at least turned a few bad days around. Which year has been the best so far? 2006 was all kinds of magical  Last time you laughed really hard? Last Friday.  Took a friend to the naked beach and his ass got burned.  His ass has never had any sun before!   Ever since I've been calling him "Baboon Butt" LMAO  I laugh really hard whenever I think of his red ass! Where is your phone? On my kitchen table Do you know anyone by the name of Lee? Yes I do!  I've known him since he was a kid!   Sweet kid! How do you feel? Okay.  Honest.  Creative. Curious.  What is bothering you right now? There's always a little gravel in my vagina, but not much at the moment.  Have you ever injected a drug? Not into myself.  I  gave someone else a shot in the ass of some stuff one time.  They asked me to do it.  It was weird. When was the last time you saw your grandpa? January.   I gave him a big hug too! Do you fight with your grandparents often? No, but we do disagree sometimes.  That's because we're honest.  If you have no disagreements you have no honesty. Do you get mad or discouraged when you're wrong? I'm quick to admit when I'm wrong (as soon as I realize it) and I always try to right my wrongs in a timely manner.  I hate being wrong but I hate staying wrong even more. Last thing you drank? Corona Light When was the last time you talked to your number 1? The day before yesterday Have you ever kissed anyone who's name started with a R?  Yeah.   Do you prefer warm or cold weather? Warm!!!!!   I hate the cold! What are you wearing? Black American Aparrel bandeau dress tied as a skirt and a cotton leopard print tank top Did you go to sleep last night? I slept gloriously! What/who woke you up today? I woke up when my body and mind agreed that it was time for me to get my ass out of bed. When was the last time someone yelled at you? Last Wednesday at work one of the miserable women I have to deal with 4 days a week ( for several years now, mind you.  Yay!) decided to yell at me and call me a cunt, a bitch, and she said that everyone else at work hates me too.   I told her that I don't like them either and that's why I try to never work in the dungeon with the rest of them unless I have to.   Ha!   Like I've cared what the people I'm forcded to deal with think?   I haven't cared since I was 11 and I barely cared then! When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? The day before yesterday Have you done anything you regret in 2008 so far? Yes, but I did it with the best intentions. Where's your bestfriend? At his place.  Probley watching his huge new T.V. Who was the last person to make you laugh? Baboon Butt! Who was the last person you saw? Jose from Is there anything annoying you right now? There is always some gravel in my vagina.  Not a lot at the moment though.  There's always someone somewhere giving me grief.  That's always annoying. Is there any emotion you're trying to avoid right now? Anger.   I don't want to be angry.  I hate being angry.   My anger scares me. Did you have a dream last night? Several Do you own a polo shirt? No.  The only time I ever have it was because it was part of my work uniform! Are you excited for winter? Nope.   I do think I'm going to try either skiing or snowbording this year though. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours? No.  My body refuses to do that naturally.  I collapse after 24. Do you like your first name? Hate it.   It's a boys name.  It's a hick name.  I'm not a hick boy.  Also, for some reason people like to sing my name.  I think that's really weird. Do you miss anyone? Always missing someone.   Always missing many people.  My family are so far away. Is there anyone you want to be with right now? Yeah-  Maybe someday.   Maybe never. Are you going to be home alone tonight? Yes.  Good thing I ain't afraid of no boogey man!

August 22, 2008 - Friday

August 16, 2008 - Saturday

August 2, 2008 - Saturday