Creative Film Services
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

I was requested to answer phones again for the Sr. VP of something or other at Disney.  Basically, they make trailers.  What they do not do is receive phone calls.  It's been a slow day.

The day has been productive and efficient, but not particularly memorable.  Of all the mind bogglingly mundane activities I've accomplished today, the only moderately interesting one is my first paper for school.  I'm taking a class dubbed 'Life after film school' and while my preparation might be a bit premature, it never hurts to look ahead. 

My assignment was to write a letter from my deathbed on why I turned out to be a gigantic failure.  Initially, I was going to blame everything on my future wives, but then I decided to open up and share my deepest fears, but then I remembered I don't have any deep fears, so I had to find some middle ground.  Eventually, I blamed minor personal flaws and uncontrollable variables for my eventual collapse.  It seems reasonable, and I think I'll keep a copy so that when I do end up shattered and destitute, I can look back and reflect.

I also stole four bottles of water.

Overall assessment: As blah a day as there is, but $128 dollars is $128 dollars.   

4:27 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Cane
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

The best days on set are the ones where you do not have to wear uncomfortable clothes, lift heavy objects, stand in the sun and are able to leisurely enjoy bountiful craft service and catering.  Today was a check mark in every category.

I was a trucker, a bootlegging trucker, to be completely accurate.  My sole action of the day was to mill around aimlessly with a clipboard while Jimmy Smits kept forgetting his lines.  Enough about that, let's talk about lunch.

Oh my God.  Mexican was on the menu, and the caterers had five people hand making quesadillas, enchiladas, carne asada and many other things I didn't recognize, but would happily run over any of you reading this post with my car to eat again. 

My first course was a heaping plate of carne asada, onions, salsa, guacamole, a queso tamale and chips.  This was a very good start, and everything was cooked to perfection.  Oftentimes on set, your food is a little cold when you finally sit down.  Not the case today.

After wolfing down that enormous plate, I went back for more.  A cheese enchilada, which had some serious kick to it (although that means very little, I'm a lightweight with spicy food), followed by more carne asada (so good), more guacamole and the topper was a cheese quesadilla thingee that was deep fried in front of me.  It resembled a calzone with the puffiness and size and was so good I swear God appeared before me and said, 'That's it, we're even now.'  So good.

Then there was cake.  Chocolate cake.  I didn't want it, but it was sitting there taunting me and I had to defend my honor.  It was at this point I hit food coma.

So I arranged the chairs in our holding area in a straight line, did my best to lie down in a comfortable position and promptly took a very satisfying twenty minute nap.  Later on, I had some chocolate milk and a banana, though not at the same time.  

I'll have to work it again to see if it was a fluke, but if this is the sort of dining experience I can expect on a regular basis, Cane may be my new favorite show to work.  I hope it gets picked up.

Overall assessment: I made the bare minimum of $130 dollars, but it was as filling and satisfying a day of work as I have had in recent memory.         

11:15 PM - 3 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Buena Vista Motion Pictures - Part II
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

I was requested to fill in again for Emily at Disney, the nice Mississippian who was again away for a wedding.  Deja vu and all that.  It was exactly the same experience as the last time I was there.

I was working for two men, one of whom was on the east coast for the week, the other was the epitome of low maintenance.  Very few calls, not much to do.  I spent most of the time, well, actually all of the time, on the internet and eating junk food.  It was a pretty good three day assignment.   

Notable moments included my holding a jewell encrusted football from the spectacular crappy new Duane 'The Rock' Johnson movie.  I was tempted to steal it.  Very tempted.  I was offered a job but had to decline due to my complete lack of interest.  I broke into an office and took a nap during lunch on the very comfy couch.  That was great. 

I wish there was more, but if possible there was less.

Overall assessment: I made $430 and ate, in no particular order, a turkey sandwich, a peanute butter sandwich, 3 Musketeer bars, Wheat Thins, Twix bars, Snicker's ice cream bars, peanuts, honey roasted peanuts, bananas, peanut M&Ms, Fritos and pretzels.  I also stole many, many bottles of water. 

9:29 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Journeyman
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

Here's the problem with playing a greasy mechanic - the grease.  It's slathered all over you and despite a prodigious amount of soap, it takes a few days to be clean once more.  By comparison, the day I played a victim slashed to death, throat cut and eviscerated, steeped in syrupy redness, I was my pale self again that same night.  Grease, it seems, is thicker than fake blood.

What exactly is this substance, you ask?  It's Shmutz.  That's the actual name, and so it came to be that I was covered in Shmutz for the last two days despite the fact I was not used on camera a single time.  There is a moment, when you're sitting on the sidewalk on a hot day covered in Shmutz for absolutely no reason, that you cannot help but call into question the meaning of life.  Without warning, I suddenly had the answer, knew it intuitively and completely, but sadly forgot it all as I struggled to eat mini nutter-butters without the use of my hands.

Two days of "work"  can be broken down to a few highlights:

1.  Our wardrobe guy was a diminutive Frenchman with a fiery temper.  We'll call him Robespierre.  After witnessing several outbursts directed at those who failed to bring the proper clothing or show up at the appointed time, we all did our best not to make the man angry.  We didn't like him when he was angry.  I returned my mechanic shoes at the end of the night to Robespierre's assistant with the shoelaces untied, and was met with a wistful sigh and the comment, "Thank Christ you didn't bring this to Robespierre, he'd have a fit."  Tie your shoes people, if you're gonna work on Journeyman.  You've been given fair warning.

2.  The stand-in for the lead actor recounted his own experience of playing a cop, which essentially boiled down to him saying, "Whoa, whoa, whoa.  Relax, there, buddy," in a condescending and pompous voice.  It was pretty funny and nothing helps pass the time like making fun of cops.

3.  Speaking of cops, the resident officer who was charged with keeping the street clear of traffic, got into a stand-off with a school bus driver.  The driver, a crazy woman who should not be allowed behind the wheel of anything, let alone a busload of children, barreled down the street with her horn blaring until the officer stepped in front of the bus and dared her to run him over.  The screaming match and battle of wills that ensued ended with the bus driver backing up and out while complaining to her boss on her cell phone.  I feel bad for those kids.

4.  My set friends for the two days were an interesting pair - one is going to be singing show tunes in Switzerland next Thursday and the other works at an ice cream shop.  Add myself and whatever it is that I do with my life, and you get a decent picture of what an oddball collection of people do background work.

Overall assessment:  It was a pointless two days spent as a dirty prop, but I did make $337.82 which, when considering how little I did, is a tidy little sum indeed. 

11:39 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Pushing Daisies
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

This is a slightly backdated update, I've fallen behind in my blogging, in part because I've been working less, but largely because I am so very lazy.  All that changes with this, my recounting of four exciting hours on the brand new one-hour drama Pushing Daisies, whose lead character can re-animate the dead.  My scenes, naturally, took place in a pie shop.

First off, there were hot dogs.  This may not sound like a revelation, but it was an afternoon call, and I was hungry, and when you're hungry, there is not a lot better than a hot dog bar.  There were choices of condiments, various toppings (including cheese) and mini bags of chips.  I chose Fritos.

My coworkers on this day were very young, which also goes to how old I am.  A bunch of twenty year olds complaining about 'the business' makes for a rough day.  Despite this, they were nice and we were able to commiserate on the evils of parking on the Fox lot. 

Working consisted of sitting in the pie shop, briefly, before walking in front of the pie shop with a bag.  Supposedly it takes place at the very end of the episode, so if you're watching the last two minutes of Pushing Daisies before it gets cancelled, and you see a pair of legs walking behind a car, that's totally me. 

It was a short day, but it did not end before lunch, which, since served at 8PM, was much more like dinner.  Regardless, broccoli was had by all.

Overall assessment: I made $130 even and managed a second helping of beef stroganoff.  Good day.

4:22 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

ABC
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

I started a three-day tour of duty at ABC today, handling phones for a quiet fellow who receives very few phone calls.  I've been suffering a little from boredom on the job of late, but today was fantastic.

First off, there were cupcakes.  One of the women who surround my cubicle had a birthday and shared her many flavors of cupcake.  I had a chocolate with chocolate icing, which was an excellent choice. 

I wrote a lot today, which always feels good.  I've signed on as a contributor to a movie-review website - www.commentarytrack.com - and I finished a review of Sunshine and wrote most of a piece on Transformers.  I sent a ton of emails, made lots of catch-up phone calls and ran errands at lunch.  I felt very productive.  

Overall assessment:  Two more days to go, fingers crossed they'll be as good as this one, plus I'm $144 dollars richer.  So far so good. 

5:35 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Buena Vista Marketing
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

I'm sitting in the basement of an excessively air conditioned building on the Disney Lot in the midst of yet another completely pointless day of temp work.  Why bother bringing someone in and paying $35-40 bucks an hour when there is nothing for them to do?  Seems like a waste, but one that undeniably benefits me, so what the hell am I complaining about.

I have yet to see the woman I'm working for, she's received one phone call on a non work related matter and the entire floor is practically deserted.  Yeah it's a Friday, but still. This place is a little creepy, especially with the stuffed moose wearing green-rimmed sunglasses hanging over my desk. 

I've tried to be productive today.  I wrote a review of Sunshine for the website my sister contributes to, which was fun.  I wrote numerous emails to people I've fallen out of touch with a little.  I'm very bad about keeping up with people.  I find myself constantly in the position of wondering how so many months can go by without having seen or spoken to someone I consider a friend.  I'm a bad person, but I might only be thinking that for all the pens I've stolen so far today. 

It's always a little interesting to work at someone else's desk, especially these lifers I'm usually temping for at Disney.  The pictures of their kids, personal effects displayed haphazardly, that sort of thing, offers a moderately intimate look into a complete stranger's life.  It's horrifying to me that someone might spend most of their life in a cubicle surrounded by posters of Nascar and Karen Cisco.  One of my worst fears isn't that I'll end up in a situation like this, because that's entirely possible, but that I'll come to accept, or worse, enjoy it.  I really need to marry someone rich. 

Overall assessment: Well, it sure beats working, but it's been a pretty boring day. I did make $128, which softens the blow a little.

4:37 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Criminal Minds
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

My first background job since early April, and I must say, it was good to be back.  I think television missed me as much as I missed television.

It was a a short day, I was on set for less than four hours.  I was a laundromat customer, and I spent about half an hour folding socks while the actors spouted lame dialogue.  I did read a hundred pages of an Elmore Leonard novel, which is always time well spent. 

I ran into Holiday, who is an extra with the same booking service I have, so we've worked plenty of jobs together.  She's very nice, and very weird, though with a name like Holiday, I'm sure that's tough to imagine.  You're never quite sure if she's operating in the same world you are, though she's very friendly and always seems very glad to see me.  We exchanged stories about her trip to Jamaica and  my trip to Europe. 

She related a disturbing anecdote about a beauty pageant she placed second in at Burning Man two years ago.  While ultimately it paid to know the judges, she did relate how well she spanked a bag of wine, admonished it for being bad and then drank it down.  Her memory of the whole event was a little fuzzy (shocking) but she did win a plane ride, so I guess it worked out all right.  

Overall assessment:  I never tire of being a prop, and I made $136 dollars to boot.  Good day.

11:36 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

The Marlin Bar
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

Truth to tell, tonight probably shouldn't qualify as work, but since it resulted in my earning cold, hard cash (my favorite kind of cash), I'm going to include it in my list of professional endeavors. 

I'm the keyboardist/mandolin/guitar player in a rock and/or roll band, and we had a gig (that's what we professional musicians term a show) tonight in Huntington Beach.  Not too many people came out to see us, but after playing twenty-two songs, I was given ten dollars.

Now, it took twenty minutes to set up, forty minutes to pack everything up, two hours of actual playing, and another hour of waiting around for the opening act guy to do his set.  It took me around two hours to drive there and back.  So for total time 'worked' I earned roughly $1.75 an hour, a perfectly reasonable wage in my mind.  

Overall assessment:  I got to play a Clash song on stage and get paid for it.  It don't get too much better than that.

2:13 AM - 5 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Disney Legal
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

Well, Thursday was fun, and by fun, I mean a stressful, boring and profitable, if ultimately pointless, day. 

So I'm on unemployment, which means whenever I don't find work for a week, I make $113.  A typical day of temp work will earn me roughly the same after taxes, which means I need to work at least two days a week or else I might as well not work at all.  I was scheduled to work Thursday and Friday this week, but in the middle of my incredibly dull Thursday, my Friday gig got cancelled, meaning my long, tedious day at the office was completely unnecessary. 

In the middle of the day, I went to LAX to pick up my cousin/roommate for a cool $75 bucks, and was very worried that taking almost two hours for lunch might get me fired.  I shouldn't have worried.  No one noticed, and if they did, certainly nobody cared.  But it meant I didn't eat anything all day except a stale mini Twix bar.   

On top of that, my ex-girlfriend was working three cubicles down from me.  Good times. 

I did drink a lot of water, which I suppose is a healthy way to wile away the hours.

Overall assessment: Not my best day, but $219 dollars were earned and I suppose that's better than getting kicked in the groin by a homeless person for an hour.

1:45 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment