Solitude, A Love Song
Current mood: blank
Category: Life

Solitude,

My dearest friend

The one with no beginning and clearly no end

I rush away repeatedly from your existence to occupy myself and then

I find you staring me blankly in the face, as you have many times, once again

Why is it you're so drawn to me? Why is it you can't let go?

Why is it you're so jealous of the presence of others and need me only for yourself, I don't know.

And why is it I am equally drawn to you that I seek refuge in your unyielding embrace?

Why is it when I need comforting the most I feel the need to stare hungrily into your face?

So we arrive once again, my familiar, enthralled within the spirits of one another

I, like you, seem to want nothing else, because nothing's wanting, in what we have with each other

(c) 2007,  Adavyette J. Hurst-Higdon 

6:31 PM - 4 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

A simple one
Current mood: jubilant
Category: Life

Patterns of strain

 will help us gain

more appreciation for our happiness

Listen to the story of others

Learn to love one another

Never failing if you take time to do this

Watch stars at night

Thoroughly enjoy your life

When will you have the chance to do it again?

Bask in your Makers bliss

Never fear taking the risk

Choosing this way youre bound to win!

(c) 2007, Adavyette J. Hurst-Higdon

11:06 AM - 2 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Me~Confusion
Current mood: worried

Constantly in circles

Turn like the hands of time

This life I mime

Never really getting to my real

What's the deal?

What is it that I feel

that keeps me going on like this?

Simmering in the opposite of bliss

When I start I just end back in nothing

I gut me

searching for the core

of what caused this ill

I'm at it's will

Never knowing

If I'm coming or going

I can't relax

The simplest facts are

that I am the enigmas of my Creators making

With fear I'm quaking

Never knowing if the meaning will be told

I behold

the endless lack of realization

Contemplation

Helps me none and only makes my quarry deeper

In nonstop action of this sleeper

event I see

Nothing

only when I stop to look at Me

(c) 2007 Adavyette J. Hurst-Higdon

1:25 PM - 5 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

To Tia~My "Peanut"
Current mood: enthralled

Today my oldest little girl graduates from elementary school and I am so proud. Santia is a smart, beautiful, wonderful young lady with a heart of gold. I just wanted to show my appreciation and love for my Peanut by posting a blog for her with a song that came out around the time she was born. Everytime I think of it Tia instantly comes to mind. I made it her lullaby. I think it says more than I ever could. This is for you Lil Mami. I Love You Eternally!! :

SOMEONE TO LOVE by Jon B. feat. BabyFace

9:33 AM - 6 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Answers?
Current mood: confused
Category: Life

I sit confused

I reach an epiphany

Am I asking too much of me

Reaching beyond my personal limit

I give to it,

this life, my honesty and all

But is it my call

that I'm answering?

I'm constantly asking me

what my truth is

I have never been in the business

of lying to get by

 So what should I try

to receive the clarity that I seek?

Take heed in the words men speak?

Or venture to my inner self then just breathe?

I seek relief

from the questions with no ending

Is this just the beginning,

my discovery of self?

Weighing my personal wealth?

I am still stumped.

(c) 2007  Adavyette J. Hurst-Higdon

6:46 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Just rambling...Waiting for an opinion
Current mood: devious
Category: Life

Hey All,

Have you ever been in a situation where you knew something about someone that you hated to say or knew that you needed to involve yourself DIRECTLY with someone in a way you didnt want to? I'm kinda in that situation right now. I have a couple of situations, but mainly one, that I need to handle. And I am just lacking the right road to travel.

See, the problem is I know this person, right? And they give off the appearance of being cool with me but I have many reasons to be suspicious of their affection toward me. So much so that I am going to need to say something to them. And they probably arent gonna like it. Either that or not care and there will be no blood lost (at least not at first).

They could just spare themselves the whole episode and be up front with me but I doubt that highly. I mean, if they were adult enough to do that would I be talking to you guys right now? Not hardly. So I guess all in all there is no way to end this well. I guess I will have to suck it up like a champ and let them take one for the team.

What would you do if you were me? I would love a suggestion right now.

8:44 PM - 4 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

You know who you are...
Category: Writing and Poetry

Hey All,

First off I'd like to say hi to all my readers. Thank you for taking the time out of your busy lives to come thru and check out my stuff. I really appreciate the love and support shown by all. Rikki you are priceless. Jen youre awesome. Savanah my lil sis, you already know what it is. Mz. Nina, SistaGirlGirlfriend, I couldn't do it without you. Bobby, you know youre my boy.  

For all my of my new readers and my real friends this does not apply to you. You don't have to read any further. But if you want a cheap laugh at someone else's expense, stick around.

Before I realized what it really was here on FakeSpace I was very open about sharing my writings. But to my dismay I found that not only were some of these people were fake but they were Biters. Yes, with the capital b. And not only were they raggedy copies of the real but some of my SO CALLED FRIENDS were too. I mean just under-the-house-sleepin, no-good, alley-battin type, gutter trolls stealing my stuff because they are too weak and feeble minded to get next to the drawing board and TRY to be worth something.

So I am saying all of this to say, bag back wit ya rusty arse!! I betta not see my stuff no where!! I betta not hear my stuff no where on nobody's album or at nobody's poetry readings!! I will call you out by your ENTIRE name AND I will sue!! What y'all sucka sap simps didn't know is I did a poor mans copyright on my stuff AND I have all my originals in writing. AND read a copyright law you hot bowls of shark vomit!

Oh yeah, I have only been a Christian for a hot second. I have been a heathen my whole life. So you better hope all I do is sue. Yes thir, I am hood like that. Got any questions, direct them to the back of my nappy wig because you are DISMISSED, MARKS!!

(How ya like them apples?! Are they TART?!)

7:23 PM - 9 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

My Issues
Current mood: contemplative
Category: Life

Why can't my inspirations

lead me to dedications

that are forthright

Why is there no result when I pummel my body day and night

Why must I be discouraged daily

In my heart and mind

Why must the goodness of God

And the devils works in me be constantly intertwined

Why must I wake up constantly

Not knowing who I'll be

If I am only as strong as my weakest parts

What will that mean for me

Why do I hold on so tight to something I can't let go

Will I ever be free and happy

Of this I will never know

(c) 2007  Adavyette J. Hurst-Higdon

4:57 PM - 4 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

My Fight
Current mood: distressed

I wrote this yesterday. I am unsure of going into the details of why I wrote this but I figured I would post it anyway. This reflects my mood of yesterday and early today. Well kinda now too. I just dont feel AS bad as when I wrote it originally. You don't have to feel too bad even though the poem sounds SUPER dismal. Here goes:

Back slidin from the top of Mt. Ev-er-est
Tell me this
How is it that we take steps, then slack
go forward, fall back
Is it human nature that holds us prisoner
in the same sad space, we were running from in the first place
A bad taste
in our mouth
in our acts
Now can we retract
From the demons lurking thru our core
Restore
should be our mentality
but can we be better
than the ever before
Or once more
return to the vomit like a dog
I'm bogged with treachery
Is it my destiny
to embrace the emininent death in me
With nothing left to speak on but a dead end legacy

(c) 2007  Adavyette J. Hurst-Higdon

4:37 PM - 6 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Old Work (not the title. just what it is)
Current mood: embarrassed

This was the first work I did after years of not even having an interest in writing. It's rusty and crude to me but it might work for someone else. Oh yeah, it's kinda, uh, well you'll see.

I can't stand to look at you
Because I can't pull away from you
I hate to acknowledge your existence
Because for you I have no resistance



I don't want you to ever touch me
Because I know I can't control this lust in me
I won't ever let you feel me
Because my surrendering moans will reveal me




I absolutely refuse to accept your kiss
Because I know all I want is this
I must escape your penetration
Because I exist purely for this sensation




I will run away from you
and I will stay away for life
Because I won't accept being dismissed as your "lover"
when I know I was created to be your wife

(c) 2007  Adavyette J. Hurst-Higdon

8:51 AM - 3 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Break Up Letter
Current mood: lonely
Category: Life

I wrote this poem 1 1/2 years back after being with a man for two years and realizing he would just never love me. This was my response. I was told it was too angry but I will leave that up to your judgement:

I remember all the nights you didnt hold me

Scold me

Only for being so aware of you

So I dealt

Tried to imagine how you felt

So cold, callous, and bereft

Of any of the love I had worked so hard to express

I guess

In the struggle I was the only one fighting

Righting

Any of the wrongs we both may have caused

Delighting

In showing you something greater than you had known

Blown

Past the obstacles in the way of  you and me being us

Cussed

myself at this one sided love

Because I wanted more than you

I just...

           I just...

                      I just wanted Us

(c) 2007  Adavyette J. Hurst-Higdon

3:30 PM - 4 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

I'm tired, y'all
Current mood: drained
Category: Life

I have been writing off and on for awhile and I was trying to do it to cleanse my soul. You know, get things out that I couldn't say to my fam or closest friends. Or to be able to say things in a way that they had not been said, through my poetry. But I believe I may have just been fooling myself. I think I may have had an alterior motive and it has caught up with me. That's kinda what I get though.

Anyway, I was saying all of that to say besides some of my old writings that I am going to post over the next 24-48 hours, I'm done. I will not be writing anymore. I will not publish. I am going to quit while I am behind.

Thanks to everyone who took the time out to read my stuff. You really didnt have to and I know that. Even greater thanks to those who took time to comment. I can't begin to let you know what that meant to me. However it is time to bid this part of my life adieu.

Thanks once again everyone. Your inspirations have been priceless.

Adavyette a.k.a. Dee

12:20 AM - 9 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

For Savanah
Current mood: good

Little Sister, you should know what I mean by this poem. Read it and please take it to heart. I love you.

Delicate Flower

bruised petals

Still the most beautiful blossom

when set in the sunlight

Don't let the world's weeds steal your shine

intertwine your positive future

with the Grace you steadily hold.

(c) 2007 Adavyette J. Hurst-Higdon

1:41 AM - 4 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

For Jennifer "Queen for Right"
Current mood: optimistic

Unspeakable wonder in the strength of your heart

Set apart

By your life and convictions you choose

Being warrior minded you wont lose

You have the truth on your side

Take pride

In the Hands you extend

And we wont pretend

You haven't saved us

In this PLEASE trust

(c) 2007  Adavyette J. Hurst-Higdon

Love, Peace, & Blessings to you Queen

1:35 AM - 4 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Struggle ends with Faith (For NinaBug)
Current mood: hopeful
Category: Life

Usually when I write I draw from experiences and things I can relate to. I have a new Friend in the faith that has motivated me and I just wanted to show my Thanks for the kindness of strangers. I am moved by you and pleased to meet you. Thanks Nina!

Disgraced face

Placed

In the mirror I see

 Not only the face of a fallen servant

Truly I see me

When we fall we just get back up

I don't want to with a crutch

Stuck

Until I reach

for the generous hands of "Man"

God has blessed me with

But I fear the trip back down to the depths

Of my flesh

What test

Will be my ultimate undoing since I've failed myself

I arise to a new day

And pray

This will be the last fall

until Forever

Succeeding against sinful pleasure

I giving my entirety to my Creator

(C) 2007 Adavyette J. Hurst-HIgdon

11:27 PM - 8 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment