Gender: Female
Status: Single
Age: 43
Sign: Gemini
City: Winnipeg
State: Manitoba
Country: CA
Signup Date:
06/21/08
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Tuesday, November 11, 2008
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The Dark and Dirty Lowdown on ME At This Time
Current mood:  depressed
Category: Romance and Relationships
After what happened, I felt frantic to fill up my life with something. I started looking into things that long needed to be taken care of, and want to start taking Martial Arts. Fits my personal philosophy, and I need some kind of goal...not to mention I also need to get back in shape and deal with myself. That's still in the air, depending on the location of the classes. I'm trying to function at work. It's been pretty good there this year...good kids...extra money, and competent staff doing their jobs. All I can think of when I'm there though is going home. It feels like I'm FORCING myself to smile sometimes, and I just don't want to be around anyone even though I guess I should be. It's more natural to me to crawl away and hide. I've been trying to get out a bit more too. Dinner, movie and drinks with Carol, Movie with Jamie, lunch with Todd, and talking to the people I work with, Jen, Denise, Deb and Tina as well as wonderful Lisa...all good for me, and I very much appreciate my friends who live here, and all the support they have given me. At some point though, I have to return home here to face myself again, which has been VERY hard at times. My long distance friends have been MORE than wonderful...Robin, Travis, Davi, Claude, Amy, Becky, and a few others. Robin and Travis practically hold me up most of the time. I don't know what I would do without them.
I think in my entire life, I've never been so heartbroken and devastated over a relationship. I know I've suffered through many painful breakups over time, but I've never had any completely knock me down to the point of not even seeing myself try again. The thought of a relationship with anyone right now makes me ill. I have no desire at all to put the slightest bit of effort towards another one, and see no point in it. I've come to feel that relationships have a shelf life. At least to one person in most relationships...all you need is one person to give up after all. So I don't believe in love anymore, or that it has any power at all. I'm generalizing...I know that it may be or have been there for other people...but as a whole it's very rare, and most people will never really find it. They just THINK they do, until the expiry date comes up. I don't think it's meant for me. I don't expect to have it at sixty or something...HELL I don't ever even want to BE sixty. I don't think there is anyone out there for me now, so I guess I have to figure out what I'm doing here, and what I want to do alone...if I can be alone.
Anyway...I just needed to express this, since all I have been doing is SUPPRESSING this, and avoiding it like I do when there is a death.
I guess I'll just continue to grasp at anything I can in order to feel like I'm moving ahead in some way.
Sorry...I hate depressing Blogs too, but I rarely write them, and this is one of the few outlets I have to express how I feel.
9:57 AM
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Tuesday, August 26, 2008
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RE-POSTED: WOE (A TAIL OF TERROR) By request
Current mood:  jedi
Category: Pets and Animals
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Tuesday, May 27, 2008
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WOE (A TAIL OF TERROR) :O
Current mood: CATatonic (Is this a drink?)
Category: CATatonic (Is this a drink?) Pets and Animals
Bio-Psychoticat:
Woe was apparently found on someones front step, along with her little grey sister at a very young age. they were taken to the Humane Society here, where she was fostered by one of the families at my Child Care Centre, until old enough to adopt. Being weird ME!!!!...I had always wanted a black cat. I called her WOE because I got her on a Wednesday...I am ALOT like Wednesday Addams, who'd have figured :P...I was BORN on Wednesday, so I am apparently a Wednesday's child full of WOE. I am now...if I wasn't before. :O I was sitting on the bus thinking up all this, and it well....just seemed perfect.
The little girl who's family had Woe warned that..."SHE IS EVIL YOU KNOW!!!!" As a tiny kitten, she had already shreaded their shower curtain, turned their down quilt into a pile of feathers, and broke off a claw in her little grey sister's eyeball. the little thing had to have surgery, and almost lost her eye.
Woe is not mean spirited, although she protests at being held at all. She did not impress the Vet that spayed her much....they had BIG trouble with her. They warned me that when I picked her up she may be EXTREMELY upset. All they had good to say about her was that she was beautiful...she IS. lol Perfectly black...shiny...practically perfect seemingly... in EVERY way. Well, after the operation, I expected a very woozy, and upset cat...ummmm NOOOOO!!!!
She was not only perfectly calm at the sight of me, but acted as if nothing had happened. The Vet had to assure me that YES, she HAD had the operation.
With my other cats...she came into the place as the boss. She did not care if she was hissed or batted at, and insisted on taking whatever she wanted FIRST. She quickly got control of my male cat Simon, and took a chunk out of my little frail, retarded cat BBD's ear. I felt there was no need to try to protect her as a kitten...well...hmmm...:O
Destruction Inc.:
Woe has...destroyed an expensive net thing I had over my bed that 4 other cats never bothered with...smashed my bedroom lamp...destroyed a brand new white leather jacket in the three seconds a closet was left open, that I hadn't even finished paying for... a new futon...a coffee pot...sugar dish...shower curtain...at least 100 rolls of tiolet paper...ate a box of tampons...My window screens...ate an entire Afican violet...broke a compass thing that was my dad's by knocking it off the wall...put holes in all my bedding...has ruined my blinds to the point that I had to cut all the cords off...and regularily trys to take down pictures on my walls. She also throws things off the shelves while I'm sleeping, and bangs doors. She insists on having her teeth flossed twice a day, and will take it out of my hands if I'm too slow. She also drinks wine...she scoops it out with her paw like Pooh in the Honeypot until she is drunk. She licks up any drop spilled too.
She ALSO rides my bike! I used to have in in the hallway, and she would always sit on the seat. Once it came rolling into the living room! She had tilted it off the kickstand and rode it there! She also once sat on the back one night. I didn't realize she messed up my brakes and on the way to work, found out that they were disconnected!!!!! :O
To wake me in her loving way, she takes bites out of me on every patch of bare skin...used to drag the blinds cord across my neck, or licks my eyelids...I am allergic...that makes me get hives on my eyes.
Just a lttle info on my sweetie kittie WOE.
If I think of more I'll add it.
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5:35 PM
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Friday, July 11, 2008
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Randomness and Sylvia Browne
Current mood: excited
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
First of all...
My brother and I were just debating an article he had read on randomness. My opinion is, that not even the tiniest gesture or action is without significance...that everything that we experience leads us into another experience however unimportant it may seem at the time. Sort of like when Donny Darko follows the vortex that leads him to the gun.
That said...
The day before yesterday I decided to go to the library. It's right across the street, but I don't usually go unless I'm getting books for my Daycare. I wanted to go to look up a book a friend had recommended, but also to find some information on Clairsentience and how to manage it. I really didn't find alot. In that section, I passed over some Sylvia Browne books...looked at them but didn't take any out. I haven't been a fan of hers really. On talk shows like Larry King, I found her sort of abrupt, and a bit cold even to people who call in. She also can be a bit too vague at times.
The next day, I got a call from a former Daycare kid's mom who had tickets to see Sylvia, but couldn't go. The boy had suggested she ask me. We have done ghosty things before together I must say,...like doing a Haunted Winnipeg Tour together, and Tarot readings. Anyway...OF COURSE I wanted to go! Free tickets!!! YAY!!!!
Sylvia Browne turned out to be MUCH different than she comes across on TV. She was very warm and funny. Very down to earth. I don't completely agree with her spiritual perspective on the psychic experience, but most of it I could interpret in my own way in any case.
After the talk and a meditation exersize, she picked numbers from tickets we got at the door coming in. Alot of people were going up...THEN...she called my friend Debbie's number!!! Debbie didn't want to go up though... I said "ARE YOU CRAZY!!!!! GO!!!!", but she told ME to go! :O
Soooooo I somehow found my way down...forgot that I had gum in my mouth..my heart was pounding, and I waited to ask my question.
Over the last few months in particular, I have been wanting to talk to someone else that has experiences like me. It can be very isolating not having anyone to ask for advice, or to just listen to you without them thinking you are crazy. I've basically been looking for some kind of group I could talk to.
I told her that I came from a family of sensitives, and that I was Clairsentient. I asked her if she could help me understand if there are some spirits I should close off, and how would I know when to do that, because I can get physically ill from it at times. She told me that she also has these experiences with getting ill, and that I should be open to all of it because only the good ones will be able to get through. She told me to surround myself with white light, and mirrors. I'm not sure why mirrors. I think I've heard this somewhere before but I'll need to look it up.
I was SOOOOOOO nervous!!!! I tripped on my way down from the microphone, and later I noticed my fly was open too!!!!!!! :O Oh shut up! My shirt covered it!!!! :P
THEN.... on the way out TWO people asked me if I was the person with that question, and they were both from psychic groups that work on EXACTLY what I've been wanting to work on!!!! FREAKY!!!!!!
So now I've not only been answered, but I also have the connections I've been seeking out for so long to no avail.
Anyway...I have a MUCH different opinion of Sylvia now. I may not think she's the best psychic out there, but I do respect her and believe she IS gifted. she has an ability to really relate to people and tune into them. She may just not be very much good with Media. At least that is the impression I had up till now.
No randomness in all this. I believe all this fell ever so neatly in place to help me, when I was really seeking it out. Just like a gentler, kinder version of the nasty Final Destination movies lol...a series of events was set into motion just for me.
July 11, 2008 Footnote
RE: Mirrors:
In your minds eye erect a mirror to the front of you. The reflective side should be pointing outwards. See the mirror completely hide you so it covers you from head to toe. Then erect and mirror to the back of you, again seeing the reflective side pointing outwards.
Now cover your sides with a mirror.
To complete the 'box of Mirrors' visualisation, imagine a mirror beneath your feet and one above your head.
You now need to make an affirmation to go with the visualisation. This will strengthen the visualisation. This affirmation can be some thing like 'These mirrors are to protect me from any negative external influences, all positive energy is able to flow freely through these mirrors'.
If you like you can make up your own affirmation.
8:17 AM
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Monday, July 07, 2008
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Believe It Or Not Won’t Change Anything (Repost from infamous ghost site of mine)
Current mood: On the slab
Category: On the slab Dreams and the Supernatural
This is one of the personal Blogs I have ever written. I have never written about any of this before, and it is basically laying myself on the line. I am a very honest, ethical person, and would never think of representing myself in a false way. I hope you will just trust me on this, I've lived with this my whole life.
Ingrid
Monday, June 25, 2007
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Believe it or not...won't change anything.
Current mood: Thinking...
Category: Thinking... Dreams and the Supernatural
I sometimes mention certain so-called psychic experiences I have had to friends, but I don't usually advertise them, or mention them really unless someone asks, or it just happens to come up. My Grandma had these types of experiences too, but never made a big deal of it...being for the most part a very conservative practical person. She just accepted that sometimes you see things. She taught me to read palms a bit, but I am really not very good...lol
I did read Tarot cards for awhile when I was about 18, until I got a sort of mysterious illness that was at first diagnosed as a brain tumor, but turned out to be something no one could explain. At that time, I remember feeling VERY stressed about the card reading, having anxiety attacks before work. I had people putting alot of pressure on me to solve some very serious life problems that I just wasn't equipped to deal with at such a young age. That year....a woman was murdered in the apartment building beside ours. She was a nurse who was chopped into pieces by her boyfriend, who scaled the balconies to the 12th floor to get in. My friend and I decided to go to the apartment door just to see if I saw or felt anything. There was some tape on the door I think,...anyway...I just had a strong vision of a man. no one at that point knew or had heard about who had done this. When pictures of the boyfriend were finally in the paper...it was the same person I had described. Just after that, on the way home from a movie I told my friend that felt there was something wrong in my head. A week later, I had something like a stroke...out some of my eyesight and went through the whole brain tumor scare that I mentioned above... She told me told me NEVER tell her if I felt anything bad EVER again after that!
Luckily I came out of it alive...with little blind spot but no one can explain it...
Other places have given me strong feelings...
Recently, on a ghost tour here, I had a VERY strong reaction in the CN Station. My ears plugged up, and I felt very anxious and dizzy. I was drawn to a balcony on the left, which later we found out had some history of Ghost sightings. I really felt like I could NOT be in there very long. That was just the start of the tour, so I didn't want to miss anything said. Nothing more later...you see...I can't control anything...
Another time was when I was 14, working for my mom cleaning out the Court House vault. she took me into Court Room Number One where all of the murder trials had been held, including trials that led to executions. I couldn't be in there either. I felt so much energy, I told her I had to leave...yet felt nothing anywhere else in the building.
The ruins in St. Norbert...and the Mausoleum in N.O....
At the Ruins...walking along one of the paths, I felt someone walk through me and across my path toward the river. We went to the river to follow...but nothing more. The ruins are an old Monastery that burned down. Very cool place to go!!! Possibly I encountered a monk on a quiet summer walk?
In N.O, we were visiting Phil's friend, who is buried in the Mausoleum. As we were leaving I felt someone pass through me again. I usually get no vision. I just know they are inside me for a brief time, then they are gone. sometimes I feel their feelings, but it is very disconnected from me. It just gives me anxiety.
These are just a few examples...
The strongest one I ever had, that involved the most people, was at a Christmas Party of my Exes. We were sitting a to table with an older man and his wife that he had worked with, and known a long time.Over a small space of time I became VERY agitated. I TOTALLY felt and if this man were going to die RIGHT THEN. As crazy as it was, I HAD to tell them what I felt or I would have gone LOOPY!!! I told them that I felt that he was very sick, and that he needed to take care of some health issues, or something was going to happen to him very soon. JUST after that, someone else across the room passed out and the ambulance had to take them away. I felt stupid then, like I was directing it at the wrong person...funny thing was though, with all of this that I told them both...they really didn't say much...
Two months later the man passed away. The next year at the Christmas party, the wife came up to me and told me she came alone just to speak to me. She told me that he had had SERIOUS health problems that he ignored, and she thanked me for trying to change things when I did, despite the outcome.
My Ex told me we would NEVER be sitting with older people again at ANYTHING!!!! lol
Anyway...just a few things...there are more of course but these are just the most interesting..
Hope I caught all my typos too! :P | ....
9:14 PM
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Sunday, July 06, 2008
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Notes From The North On New Orleans (Repost from my ghost site...an excerpt)
Current mood: Remembering...
Category: Remembering... Dreams and the Supernatural
This was from my second visit to New Orleans.
Saturday, April 14, 2007
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Notes from the North on New Orleans
Current mood:  contemplative
Category: Travel and Places
I had a chance to do a bit more this time. I had TWO ghost tours with Phil's friend Bloody Mary...(Note that people in N.O do not generally have normal names like Susan or Bill...they have names like Bloody Mary, and Buddha) :P Well if they know Phil anyway. lol
The first tour was through the devastated areas. It REALLY is a ghost tour when you see a whole entire area COMPLETELY GONE! Empty houses with windows and doors smashed out, and one person with a FEMA trailor, the only sign of life on a whole street! I went through Gentilly (If that is how it is spelled) in the dark, so it was all the more creepy. The area itself has become another above ground graveyard. I got a strong sense of heaviness passing through it, and you just feel like you may cry...this is unusual for me seeing that I am a very detached person. It is not what I KNOW about the place that made me feel that way, it wasn't me...it was an emotion GIVEN to me by the place. Coming out through me, or in spite of me. On the BFI bin next to a closed restaurant, someone had written something like "HOT FOOD HERE" with an arrow. Obviously someone wanted to make a point...
At one point on this tour, we were going into the Jewish Cemetary and got caught up in a little shooting incident. Just before we got out of the truck to go into it I had a bad feeling that it wasn't a great idea. We saw a girl walking towards an apartment with a man following here and yelling about something. A few minutes later we heard some gunshots. We went into a nearby bar, called the police, who came quickly, and all in all nothing came of it. The police talked to the man, but didn't check out the apartment, and we didn't ACTUALLY see anyone fire a gun, sooooo....Anyway...you do have to be careful there. But...we were taking a risk being in that area at 10:30 at night in the first place. It is weird though having to worry about people with guns if you are from Canada. We just never even think about it. I would however, not walk downtown at night here either....getting mugged or stabbed is a very good possibility, so it is all relative I guess. You just have to be very aware of your surroundings.
My second ghost tour was in the Quarter. This was really interesting!!!! We visited Le Feat's, a pub that was owned by a pirate long ago. Lots of ghosty things there.There is also a story involving a treasure that is rumored to still be hidden somewhere in the building. I saw some of Bloody Mary's pics taken in that place, and it seems to be very common to have strange things show up in the pictures. I used to question these things, but I have even had them in MY pictures, and I tend to trust myself...should I? hmmm...yes, I think...:P
One of my pictures even captured an orb. It wasn't a flaw in the picture, or the flash, it is definitely something else.(Check it out in my pics!) These tend to appear alot in pictures taken there. N.O is a very dark place...not BAD dark, or evil, just heavy, serious, OLD, dark. Very spiritual for lack of a better word, but not in the Christian sense...just as if the whole city is a very old soul, with lots to tell...and it does, in a very personal, physical way. I mean this VERY literally too.
New Orleans is also filled with joy though...
People there seem to love life, and are VERY friendly to foreigners. Anyone I talked to welcomed me wholeheartedly, and people will go out of their way to help you if you need it.They also take an interest in you. People wanted to hear about where I live and what it is like.The people there COMPLETELY love their city, and are very loyal to it. It is not just a place to live I think, for most people...there is a bond between the city and it's residents that is like some kind of magnet keeping them close. I have never felt this about any other place. It tends to have the same effect on visitors too...they always want to come back.
There are ALOT of eccentric people in N.O!!!! :O Oh YEEEEAH.... It actually is more normal, to not be normal, than it is to be normal. Being NOT normal so to say... IS normal to most people there anyway... Well, NORMAL according to boring people everywhere else I guess. I felt even a little bit conservative compared to some of the people I met. I LOVED THAT!!!! I have repressed weirdness that could totally thrive there! I have to control myself here to a certain extent in order to stay out of the Psych. Hospital...but THERE.... I can just let it all seep out! ummmmm.....oh oh....
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Friday, July 04, 2008
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Nine9 & The Number Nine (Repost)
Current mood: Reflective
Category: Reflective Religion and Philosophy
Friday, June 01, 2007
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Nine9 & the Number Nine
Current mood: Creepy as Usual...
Category: Creepy as Usual... Religion and Philosophy
For everyone who has asked me about this,
I compiled all the connections I can recall at this time regarding mself, and.the number nine:
*In numerology it is my name and birth number, both are nine.
*I am born on June 9 , six for June..., being the same shape inverted. ,
*My Grandfather who was closest to was born June 8,1899.
*He passed away in 1974, when I was nine.
*I lived with my Grandparents as a child at 432 Munroe Ave.
*My Dad's Birthday was nine days apart from mine, on June17th.
*My Dad passed away on March 27, at 7:20am
*My Personal Tarot Card is The Hermit.The ninth card in the Major Arcana.
*I am a Buddhist, and nine is an extremely important number in Tibetan Buddhism.
*I am fascinated by the Golden Ratio. I was thinking that I would LOVE to have the Golden Spiral tatooed on me somewhere..THEN I realized I already had it!!!!I have a nine tatoo with a yin-yang in the center.Nine is central in the Golden Ratio. | ....
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Monday, June 30, 2008
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My So-Called Hijacked Blogs
Current mood:  busy
Category: MySpace
When my site got hijacked, I managed to save my Blogs in my computer, comments and all. I am going to repost weekly, the ones I personally liked the most. I don't think I can attached the comments again like they were, but at least I still have them to read for myself, all of them meant alot to me. Thank you for listening. :)
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