Free MP3 of New Material: God’s Lobby

Want to know what God's lobby looks like? Get this free downloadable MP3 now! Share with friends.
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Gregbehrendt. com.
As we like to say "Fuck Craigslist get on Greg's list...we
promise more inappropriate come ons from freaks that love Crackers than any
place on the web.

1:23 AM - 5 Comments - 14 Kudos - Add Comment

Flipsides Snack Crackers - Holy Shit!
Current mood: ecstatic
Category: Food and Restaurants

Pretzel on one side and Townhouse cracker on the other, or try the pretzel and cheddar that takes it up a notch. Seriously I want to meet the guy who thought this up pin a medal on his salty chest and then kill him because his flavor instincts will lead to my untimely death by salt, and because the are the best cracker since Chicken In A Biscuit! They seriously fuck your mouth with flavor. I have sweaty fever dreams about them. So pick up a box and start your new life. "But Greg I'm not a cracker person." Well crawl out from under that rock kiddo and get on the FLIPSIDE of that!

6:45 PM - 22 Comments - 29 Kudos - Add Comment

New Standup Leaked!
Current mood: busy

Hey Punx and Kittens!

In about two months I will be taping a new one hour DVD that will also air as a special. In an effort to make that special as good as it can possibly be I will be recording my sets on video and audio from now until that date and putting the clips here on myspace and and free mp3s up at Greg Behrendt dot com every Tuesday!!! The clips will be of my standup as a work in progress meaning that many of the bits may evolve or possibly not even make it into the final set. Who knows, I may be asking you which bits you'd like to see on the special and which should die a painful death. Hopefully you will enjoy them and then want to come see them live. I also plan to lose 20 or so pounds. (Really Greg? Who gives a shit? No one but if I post it than I'll do it)

That being said,check out the first video clip that we just posted for you!!

Greg

6:22 PM - 6 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

New Tattoo + Bob Saget = Great Weekend!
Category: Life

Hey Punks and Kittens!
I got a new tattoo this weekend and it made its public debut at the Bob Saget Roast on Sunday in Los Angeles. I was showing it to my friend Wendy and suddenly everyone started taking pictures of it and asking it questions! It was wild! Suddenly my tattoo was approached by a dozen or so TV and Film execs and put into development for a number of very exciting projects. Then my tattoo went home with John Stamos. I did not.
Just goes to show what can happen when you dress better!
P.S.
The Roast (where I was just a guest not a roaster) was great! Highlights include Greg Giraldo, Brian Posehn, Jeff Ross and Cloris Leachman!

5:48 PM - 9 Comments - 18 Kudos - Add Comment

Questions Answered!!
Current mood: artistic

I get this question a lot so I thought I'd post about it here.
Hey Greg...
1. I have been telling my girlfriend how great your stand up is. (Its funny how with the book and the show people think you are just another dr phil... Obviously, they dont pay much attention). I want to make sure that you are actually doing your act and that its not just a book tour.

THIS IS A TOUR OF STAND UP! NOT A LECTURE, NOT A SEMINAR, AND NOT A MAN BASHING PARTY. AND WHILE THERE IS A CHUNK DEDICATED TO SEX AND THE AWKWARDNESS OF GETTING INTO RELATIONSHIPS I ALSO COVER BATMAN, SNACK CRACKERS, FEET AND ELEPHANTS (YEAH THOSE F*KERS FINALLY GET THEIR COMEUPPANCE!) THIS IS ALSO STANDUP SHOW THAT INCLUDES AT LEAST 50 MINUETS OF NEW MATERIAL AS WELL AS CLASSICS FROM HOUSES OF THE HOLY.

2. Have you added much new material in the act? I will be there regardless.

SEE ABOVE.

Greg

1:20 AM - 5 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Ask Greg is Coming to an End
Category: Life

Sadly Punks and Kittens all great things must come to an end and also things like Ask Greg. While it has been a total blast I feel the time has come to concentrate on my stand up career. I have really enjoyed and been touched by your questions. Since the demise of the talk show I felt the need to address the many emails that have been sent my way but alas I feel that I have said all there is I have to say. I am putting my career as a fauxish relationship expert to rest and returning to my career in comedy already in progress.

I just returned from the Just For Laughs Festival in Montreal where it became evident (read review) to me after 9 shows in 4 days that this is what I love doing the most and really what I'm best at right now. This doesn't mean that there won't be more books it just means I'd prefer to put it into print or in joke form rather than answer questions directly.
There will still be two more weeks of Ask Greg and in a couple of days I will tell you about some other great content coming to GregBehrendt. com.



I love you all.


G

P.S. IT'S YOU THAT HAS THE ANSWERS TO YOUR PROBLEMS.

5:33 PM - 13 Comments - 22 Kudos - Add Comment

Vote for the Monarchs!
Current mood: excited
Category: Music

Vote for us in the Gretsch 125th Anniversary contest. It's a little bit of a pain, but we'd appreciate it. When you register and go to vote, you can search the band name or song title, "Short Pants For Fatty".

http://www.gretsch125th.com/contest/

6:48 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Really? Your Feet???
Current mood: disgusted
Category: Travel and Places

So I'm happily on my way to Cleveland for the weekend to perform my skits at Hilarities Comedy Club and this dude on the plane takes his nagly dogs out. Fuckin' public toes! Not in sandals but free to roam on their own up the back of the seat of the guy in front of him! While he puts an Eagles cd in his discman!!!!!???? Too many violations. Dude really do we all get a taste? Don't believe me? Check the photo!
Cleveland! I'm excited to see you so please wear shoes.

1:47 PM - 13 Comments - 21 Kudos - Add Comment

Are You a Badass??
Current mood: productive
Category: Music

If you drum and you are a BADASS (all caps) and you live in the Dayton Ohio area then you are in f@king luck. Here's what you have to do "sticks," you must immediately call the number pictured here. DO NOT WAIT! Remember you must be BADASS. If you are excellent but can not make with the BADASSERY needed, then you can go f@k yourself with a spoon. But if you are a stone washed actual BADASS I wish you great luck. Hit me up on Myspace when you get the gig and then continually send my flyers about your shows and eventually I'll block you because I'm not a BADASS.
Love and some 45's!
Greggers

12:16 AM - 3 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Please Don’t "Ask Greg" on MySpace
Current mood: busy
Category: MySpace

Sorry folks but Greg is not answering questions for Ask Greg from his MySpace page. Due to the overwhelming response to Ask Greg, there is no way he can sort through all the emails and questions here.


If you want to ask Greg a question, please go to
http://www. gregbehrendt. com/ask_greg. php

You RAWK!!

Team Behrendt

12:48 AM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment