Porcelain Confessional: No Rest For The Wicked
Current mood: sleepy
Category: Life

No time for detail. You'll have to make due with bullet points, I need to get home and sleep (posted from LAX Denny's after my Thursday show -- fun fact, some of these bullet points have been sitting on my Treo for days and days and days).

- If forced to choose between guilt and sleep deprivation, I almost always choose the latter. It's more insular, and I have less troubling experience with it.

- I dunno if the profile is private or not, but I recently had the most amazing stuff written about me on a blog. I'm having a very strange second half of 2008, in terms of praise coming hot and heavy from new and unpredictable sources. Without being cast as the villain -- reluctant or otherwise -- of the story for a change, I'm sometimes at a loss for words. That's also weird.

- I'm often amused by instances when accusations are leveled at me that are as accurate (or more so) about the pointing finger. By "amused," I of course mean "nihilistic."

- The Hundred and Four is continuing its "shakedown cruise" fairly effectively. I had an early applicant, sitting like Zartan at the gate of the mystic swordsmith (yes, I completely geeked out and busted some vintage Larry Hama on you) that I had to turn away, which was kind of heartbreaking because he wanted it so very badly. I kinda hope he returns, ready and honed. In the meantime, I have my own timeliness issue with apprentices. I keep trying to figure out this collaboration thing ...

- Dizzy spells are becoming fairly regular now ...

- After reading The Secret History of Star Wars by Michael Kaminski, I've revised my publishing plan for my novels. Yes, there were going to be six. Now, at most, five: the already completed The Crown: Ascension and Faraway, the in-process Rogue Nation, a remixed The Last Testament (spoiler for those in the know: The Reign will never be seen directly, only from distant perspectives of others, through an increased role of his paladins, especially Sin Toleafoa and Riley Dodge, who may end up partners) and (partially because so many people ask me for it) finally a much remixed The Crown: Rise and Fall finishing the story of James and Tonya. Eliminating direct contact with The Reign frees me up to do better character work with Riley and Sin, while eliminating the hubristic aggrandizing possibility that I'll drop the ball like Stephen King in The Dark Tower series. Oh, sorry, the only place anyone will see anything from The Operative is in that teaser I put on The Hundred and Four. That's my plan, anyway. I think it's better that way.

- I'm having a grand old time at most of my jobs, heaped in praise and accolades and, yes, enhanced earnings. One job is just "same old, same old," but even there I start some shakeups tomorrow. So professionally my life's just dandy.

That's all I have to say about that.

- I'm getting a kind of Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan vibe from two of my characters, Riley Dodge and Sin Toleafoa. Like I wanna develop some stories for just the two of them, maybe even a collection or a novella. They're walking around in my head, indifferent to the chaos around them. That's strangely attractive to me, conceptually, two friends who endure the madness of the universe with loyalty and will power. The more I type, the more I wanna chuck other time commitments and do this.

- But I've parsed out January to buy a PS3 and take on GTA4, plus I'm only on the third boss for Grand Theft Auto: Star Wars, er, Star Wars: Force Unleashed. My ... personal commitments of time and money are very ... involved right now. There's mountains of Hundred and Four stuff undone, Rogue Nation to finish, The Crown: Rise and Fall to refactor, as well as mountains of work to do for The Last Testament. Without considering, oh yeah, friendships (I haven't had time to holler at Craig in weeks) and my own recreational needs (IIRC, more than a month since I went out for something not work related) ... or even sleep. *Hannibal sighs as the downtrodden Charlie Brown theme plays*

Don't get me wrong -- I *love* my life. I would just like more time to do more of it.

- Despite being up until 4AM, I had a really amazing Wednesday from start to finish.

- I'm very displeased with JBL's decision to discontinue it's power amp-less line of Eon 1500 speakers. The only ones you can get, apparently, are the self-powered ones. Which my Thursday and Sunday shows will now run with. Which means I run four cables to speakers instead of two, which takes longer and is annoying. Sure, I'm louder in the short term, the whole set now fits in the trunk and I have crisper sound off of two practically new speakers, but I miss the centralized control of that 300 watt Crown amp humming away. Que sera sera ...

Playing (Music): "Rub You The Right Way" by Johnny Gill, "Tonight" by Ready for the World, "Love Me Dead" by Ludo, "Sincerely Jane" by Janelle Monae, "I Knew You Were Waiting For Me" by George Michael and Aretha Franklin

10:46 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Porcelain Confessional: Memento
Category: Life

It's not a good thing that I don't remember how long the previous two blogs have been saved on my phone, waiting to be transferred to my laptop and uploaded.

I'm on MySpace -- to check anyway -- at least once a day. That's one of the luxuries of having my Treo. But it's less-than-robust copy buffer for cut and paste (which is still better than the iPhone's "I can't do that") keeps me from just using the phone as a full surrogate computer.

Well, the dialup-level connection speed too. Also, no tabbed browsing. Did I mention a proper file management system? We're straying off point ...

After an emergency audio fix call had me in Lomita until almost 11 on Wednesday, my weekly sleep-deprived gauntlet got a one day extension as I have (counting DJing a niece's birthday party) five shows in four days.

I counted my working hours on all jobs. Including driving time, it's 72 hours a week. That doesn't count time spent updating my DJ drive, or doing Hundred and Four stuff, or thinking about my own writing (which is all I've done lately, not actually doing much of it). Also, Auset and Sekhmet need time with me and they don't play well with multitasking sometimes, and sleep would be nice. It's quite a challenge, to keep all the plates spinning simultaneously and not let gravity do its dirty work. I admit, there's shards of broken flatware on the floor.

I can't tell if I need to clone myself or just get 12 hours added to each day. But a free moment on a work toilet gave me this chance to write, so I'm grateful for that.

Playing (Music): "Sometimes I Rhyme Slow, Sometimes I Rhyme Quick" by Nice and Smooth

10:48 AM - 89 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Porcelain Confessional: Finishing Moves
Current mood: tired
Category: Romance and Relationships

One of my best friends is getting divorced.

Alongside the efforts of our elder brother-in-arms, I've been ramping up my people skills in a hell-bent attempt to support him through this time. DJing a birthday party for one of his kids (for free even). Hanging out with him on Mondays after work (to the chagrin of my own family in some cases). Calling a lot (well, for me, which means "more than when I want something").

It's brought up a lot of old energies I'd have preferred not to find imitating Kirkman's The Walking Dead in my mind, with the wildness of not feeling heard or appreciated. The hilarious tragedy of three best friends who all married and then divorced Virgo women isn't lost on me either. His venting sounds familiar, and while I'm blessed to be able to buy snacks for his family and hang with him the very few hours my schedule permits, I feel guilty that I can't do more while re-experiencing my own anguish at the same time.

The oddest thing is that I'm enjoying spending more time with him despite the dire circumstances and the normal topics of discussion. He's a truly clear and honorable soul, one of the very few people in my circle of intimates who doesn't have a single fingerprint, accidental or otherwise, on the knives in my back. Yet, anyway. My own feelings of isolation are diminished that way, and while I don't want to say it's good that this happened (divorce is something so horrible that I wouldn't wish it on Nazis or Klansmen), there's good energy too.

So that's going on.

Playing (Music): "I'll Bee Dat" by Redman

10:46 AM - 89 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Porcelain Confessional: Out Here Grindin’
Current mood: awake
Category: Life

I'm busier than I want to be.

Despite making more money, I have more demands on it, so I have yet to get going on saving any of it. I've managed to keep up with the existing copy from The Hundred and Four (admittedly, I've got some serious tardiness going on right now) but need to plan out future iterations as well as helping people with what they're doing now. I owe more people phone calls than I have recorded in my smartphone. I'm just barely managing my sleep, with Friday dizzy spells becoming par for the course. There are struggles beyond this that I don't even wanna type about.

But honestly? I mean it when I answer "how are you?" with "I can't complain." I like my job way more than I ever expected I would (while not getting overly attached to it). I go home to a precious toddler and a beautiful fiancee. Pretty much everyone I work with is cool, they love my work (I won Talent of the Week from my agency, and they staff hundreds of companies, so I feel that's gangsta) and it's not like I'm digging ditches ...

So that's some of me. A lot of the upside. More soon about ... well, more.

Playing (Music): "Mass Appeal" by Gangstarr

10:45 AM - 89 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

I really needed this in my day ...
Current mood: tested
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

... after seeing a gang of BSG fantweet accounts (and other randomness) while listening to a dull meeting via phone. This made me so disturbingly happy ...

4:51 PM - 89 Comments - 3 Kudos - Add Comment

Porcelain Confessional: The Tragedy That Is The Pancreas
Current mood: amused
Category: Blogging

This was too long for Twitter, but too good to pass up.

From my good pal Rone's LiveJournal (wherein he's actually quoting but can't find the attribution) ...

"Surgerizing the pancreas is like trying to remodel a house full of gasoline. And the house is made of Jell-O. And sits on top of a kindergarten. And it's on fire. And filled with bees. Don't f*** with the pancreas."

You have no idea how hard it was to not lose my isht laughing like a crazy person. First of all, "Surgerizing?" Who comes up with "Surgerizing?" That's hilarious! Second, the visual that this conjures up, which keeps compounding on itself and getting more and more ludicrous ... that just does it for me. Finally, when I remember that this is talking about something inside my own body I just almost fall down laughing. That's freakin' outstanding.

Okay, really, back to work now ...

Playing (Music): "Opportunities" by The Pet Shop Boys

8:38 PM - 89 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Porcelain Confessional: FYI
Category: Life

Despite some attempts at humor in messages, just because I don't blog doesn't mean I didn't take a dump that day. I also read the news and jot down story ideas, all on my Treo, while enjoying the facilities. Not that my gastrointestinal affairs are any of your concern.

I'm busy. Too busy to italicize my music until I slow down. More hard facts later.

Playing (Music): "Loving You Long Time" by Mariah Carey

2:27 AM - 89 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Porcelain Confessional: That Peaceful Easy Feeling
Current mood: drained
Category: Life

The great double website drama is finally over, with two new cobranded corporate sites happily on their way to a coded QA gauntlet, and I may finally have a quarter inch of room to take a daytime breath, set up a DMV appointment and just generally relax. Admittedly, I still have one non-me site in development, but the lingering private contract is done for (despite going very differently than I would have wanted). I did manage to pretty much talk one guy out of buying a site from me, partially because I don't wanna do the work and partially because it wouldn't have gotten him what he wanted anyway (new website does not equal more traffic).

The last two weeks have challenged me, with none of my normal moments of respite in the middle of working to allow me time to regroup. Blame the sales department for making unreasonable demands. Blame society. It doesn't matter, as it's all in the past now.

What else now? Taking time to catch up on stillborn lunches with old friends (well, one's younger than me, but you get the idea) and try to remember to buy envelopes. Maybe even some of my own writing ... I've considered refactoring my book plans into five novels instead of six, just to avoid what could seem like relentless narcissism. I'm still batting that around in my head. It means I won't get to directly make as many jokes as I wanted to, turning one character (who was to appear in no fewer than two novels (including one where he was the focal point, that's the one I'm probably gonna whack) with references to him in two more) into Doctor Claw from the old Inspector Gadget show. In retrospect, I believe that's actually better, allowing him some mystery. We'll see.

In the mean time, there's a PC laptop stuck at Canadian customs and Kaiser has struck down the idea of me using my iBook for work (it's not secure, they feel, there's compliance issues, patient privacy, yadda yadda yadda), which means I'll actually end up being capable of doing less work, which is fine by me. Health care. Whadda ya gonna do?

Sully's tonight and I just realized I don't have a codified, organized system of getting my new music, which is bad. Oh well.

Off to do some other stuff ...

Playing (Music): "Don't You Worry 'Bout A Thing" by Stevie Wonder

7:42 AM - 89 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Porcelain Confessional: Overload
Current mood: blustery
Category: Life

Oy.

Four websites to launch in one week is probably too many.

On Tuesday, I launched the first of my "Specialist" sites. At the suggestion of Auset, I made a template package for budget website consumer who had simple needs and couldn't afford me any other way. Intellectually, I was opposed to the idea of a "Cadillac for the rest of us" approach as I am happy pricing myself at a premium. But whatever, I did it, and it netted as a customer a writer from Chicago through an old colleague's referral.

Of course, this person paid for this Ford Focus website and started asking how she could [CONTENT REDACTED AT CLIENT REQUEST] When I got done, I was pretty happy with the results, including adding a Blogger page into my own HTML formatting (which was useful for me to add to the repertoire, and I charged her a measly $50 to do).

That's up and done. But then I had to soft launch (i.e. a website launch without fanfare and maybe not to the public) two of these co-branded student health care websites. The first, for a small school up north, was no problem since work had been progressing on it for months and it had a fairly standard configuration. The second was a beyotch. We got word on it being due this week last Friday, there was no paperwork in (these sites require a gang of legal and regulatory oversight) and two new bits of functionality. Ow ow ow ow ow!

I work with a lot of talented and skilled people who largely suffer from problems generated beyond our collective pay grades. We all got it done this week. I earned every cent of my 20 percent raise on this bad boy, to the tune of several laudatory emails from co-workers and superiors.

Tonight (I'm writing the last of this Saturday, from my apartment's toilet) I'll be implementing the design for Auset's web site. I'm gonna have her do some stuff too. Should be fun.

Okay, off to the races ...

Playing (Music): "So Dizzy" by Rehab and "Lose Control" by Enfamus

12:01 AM - 89 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

The Never-Ending Conversation
Current mood: apathetic
Category: Life

Posting from my new late night Thursday haunt, the LAX Denny's (which has wi fi to make up for the limpness of the chain's menu).

Anyhoo, courtesy of my dawg Craig, this is reason 3,203,219 why I don't call myself a web designer in public much anymore and reason 203,291,329,273 why I openly hate most of you (and by "you" I mean "humans").

10:51 AM - 89 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment