BOOTLEG OUR SHIT

So we've had "deals", "agreements", and whatever other bullshit music business term for people sucking money out of us for years now. There have been A&R guys, booking agents, managers, promoters, and the like for years around us. For the most part it's left myself, and also the band I belong to with nothing more than a bunch of hangovers and empty pockets for all of the years we've played. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining about being broke, I'm used to that. However, other people have made quite a bit of money at our expense over the years. Time to cut the head off of the dragon(s) here kids.
We want you to bootleg our shit unless you come to a show. Don't buy our stuff on iTunes, or any other website. We've had a bunch of downloads, I've even downloaded it myself, and Harlen Simple has been paid 0 dollars and 0 cents for it. There has been crap with us on it sold online for years and we haven't been paid a penny. So fuck them all, if you can't come to a show, let us know we'll work our shit out. CD's are $5 (any of them). When we get Tshirts, they'll be cheaper too. If you catch our shit for sale anywhere online, just give us a heads up at harlensimple@aol.com  

10:46 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Bucking Up Lil’ Camper
Current mood: cantankerous

I am SO happy I do not live in Gainesville, VA. I spend some time there for reasons that I don't need to go into with this topic. I am just elated that I'm not one of  "them".

Walking around with my $5 mocha frappe slurpy chino iced coffee with my kids running around me in circles. I slow down and yell for little Tanner, Tucker, Hayden, Jordan, Emma, Hanna, Ethan, Isabella, Abigail, or whatever Aberzombie name they've picked. I'm not wondering why they're so hyper, because I know it can't be the milkshakes I just bought them as they zoom around like little bums on truck stop speed. 

How people get to this point and don't just yank the wheel into a guard rail at 90 miles an hour amazes me. They all talk shit about each other when the get up and walk away too, how do people do that? If you don't like them, don't talk. I don't even breathe in the direction of people I can't stand, fuck em; I don't like them for a reason. I've heard it myself, they say how ugly other people's kids are, how someone isn't losing any baby weight, how the in laws do this and they hope the spot in the home opens up before they have to move them into their house and put the boys in a room together. Does this go on in other places, because it's intriguing and now I'm thinking that the most fun some one could have is acting like them on a WWE scale. I can walk through Target and say the most terrible things and watch the look of almost puke on their faces. Anybody want to help me with this? I know one line I have is going to be, "You know that kid is his because it's ugly, if it was the pool boys it would be better looking, then he wouldn't have to worry about alimony."

7:07 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

What happens when they all suck?

blah blah blah blah blah..:

The Republican says;

"Yay McCain!!!! He's a man and he's not black. I wish you liberals would quit crying and realize we had to start a war to get to those responsible for 9/11...I mean WMD's...I mean big D.O.D. contracts....I mean you people cry about everything. Fry the convict, don't kill the fetus. The economy is fine don't say the R word."

The Democrat says;

"Bush started this war for his father. McCain is too old, he's wants a hundred year war, we need a change by voting for someone that celebrities like. We need universal healthcare. Kill the fetus, but don't kill the grown up savage that raped and killed a 7 year old girl and her mother. We can fix the recession by raising taxes."

The Independents say;

"We count too!!!"

You morons bicker about everything and can't tell your ass hole from your ears. You all suck 

5:56 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

bad weather and really bad drivers

Ok, is it that bad...really? All you have to do is slow down ass holes! I live in an area where there is a trigger that makes people drive like they have a handful of pretty shiny things and a mouthful of crayons. That magical word is "Wintery Mix".

I blame the dumb ass weather men who call for this disaster every time a cloud covers the sun. I understand it's your job to inform people of what you "think" the weather will be. Wouldn't be a big deal, except for the fact that when you do that, you fuck my commute up.

My 35 minute drive home turns into an hour and a half of hell. A gauntlet of mini vans loaded with bread, milk, and toilet paper. Why the hell do they tell you to get that anyway? With some stupid kids movie playing from a TV in the back trying to sedate the little mongoloids long enough to get them home and dose them with some ADHD meds.   Driving right next to Lupe and Jose driving in the snow for the first time (no offense to any one who is Spanish and can drive in the snow, but if you haven't seen snow very much in your life, or have never driven in it, please don't drive a big truck loaded with loose things like shovels, wheel barrels, and buckets to fly out as you swerve like a drunk driver at 3 am). Let's not forget the future NASCAR Drivers of America flying down the shoulder because regular traffic won't let them do the normal 85 in a 45. I hate all of these people and then some.

Why is it that the one big storm, the ice storm that hit the DC area last week, YOU ALL FUCKED IT UP? People stuck in traffic for 9 hours, and all you could do was video tape people falling down on the sidewalk (side  note; Please do that for every ice storm we ever have from here on. Maybe the greatest 5 minutes of news ever).

People suck in bad weather and I think you should apply for a "Bad Weather Permit".

 This is dedicated to the lady in the black Mercedes Station Wagon that ran me off the road in that very storm last week on Pleasant Valley Road. I hope your husband's secretary gives him Hep C and your kids are infertile.

4:55 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

does anyone else want to...
Current mood: irritated

Crash a party with a gang of homeless people on that fucktarded show "My Super Sweet 16"? One word comes to mind when I see that show even listed on TV, c-u-n-t.

Watching a bunch of spoiled bitches complain that their new Mercedes is red not blue. How about for a birthday party we drop these bitches into the middle of a poor African country. Let these dumb anorexic little trollups know what it's like to really be hungry. Chase a fucking lion through the jungle with some hardcore natives with bones in their lips, spears, and talking with that cool ass clicking tongue noise.

"I have to look good, this is my biggest night ever!" they shout between tears at some salon where an immigrant is trying to provide for a family and getting berated by this little twat. Fuck these bitches; I hope they all get knocked up for their 17th birthday. That way mommy and daddy can send that little angel out of town to spend time with "family" while they take care of her issue.

Shame on these parents for raising such a pieces of polished stuck up turds. The haves and the have mores broadcast disposable income like a little asshole kid on a playground saying "na na na na, you're too poor". 

I hope that money they blow was all they would've had left after Daddy gets caught stealing from hard working peoples 401k's. Then they have to drive a Honda, MY GOD! 

Either that or they're noses fall off from all of the blow and nose jobs with their rotted teeth from the bulimia.

5:39 PM - 4 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Thanks to everyone who came out Saturday

We'd like to apologize for the shit from Saturday. The band realizes that although we weren't involved in the poop flinging crazy retardedness that happened at the end of the night, we still looked like assholes.

3:20 PM - 0 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

AMY AMY AMY

This is not a last but not least thing...but for whatever reason in writing all of those dman thank you's for the CD, we left Amy off. You'll be on the next round of prints missy, but for now we're really sorry, and we'll make it up we promise

7:58 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

The CD is out kids

Thanks to everyone that showed up for the cd release party at Mackey's last Saturday. It was a blast and it all happened in spite of a lot of things. Kenny, John, Travis, Scott, and I are very proud of this one, so give us some feed back on it. Thanks to everyone that gave us a hand in getting this out, and saw what we were trying to do, beyond the money and the "no's", and all the bull shit that our friends know about now; it's here, and we're damn proud of it. So here's a list of all of the shit that went wrong during the recording of this damn album that I can remember...:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

1) February: can't get the damn studio time scheduled because of a cluster fook on our part (big shocker).

2) During the spring my amp blows up, we have to find a way to get a new one because the "powers that be" say we can't use a credit card. We get the amp, the "powers that be" are not happy about the method (it obtained legally though).

          *editors note* the new amp blew up too, so the old one was fixed out of pocket because we were paying for who knows what.  

3) Some bills are paid off in full, not the ones important to HS and we damn near go broke...we can't record and realize we don't have any of the thousands of dollars we made in the past months.

4) I drop a propane tank on my foot, have to record all jacked up on pain killers and crutches, el no bueno. 

5) We run out of money again and still can't find the thousands of dollars we've earned...

6) We almost run out of booked gigs until we go back to the old way of booking shows (phone calls, reputation, and hoping the press kits got there).

7) We fired this half ass "representation" that was "selling" our shit on itunes. Needless to say we never got a penny...but we have had music on itunes for a while and you can download it all you want, we don't get paid for it though.

8) The sucky duplication company doesn't return a phone call or email for a month and a half leaving us to find some people that know what they're doing.

     *editors note * If you need some stuff duplicated we highly recommend www.nationwidedisc.com ask for Bryan Cook. He's a really nice guy, but give him a month or so notice before you pull the dumb shit we did.

9) Our manager tries to push back the release date for the 3rd or 4th time, gets mad and quits. Not a big shocker, it was going to be quit or fired sooner than later, but it ads to the fun.  We still need a manager too,

10) Day of the show and we don't get our CD's until about 12 pm, cutting it a little close but that's what happens.

That's the bullet points, we've got the whole thing on video too, that'll hit youtube eventually. The damn thing is here now buy it bitches.

4:13 PM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

CD Release Party

Hosted By: Harlen Simple
When: Saturday Sep 29, 2007
at 9:00 PM
Where: Mackey's
9412 Main St
Manassas, VA 20110
United States
Description:
Harlen Simple

Click Here To View Event

9:05 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Back in the Studio
Category: Music

So "The Bastard Sons of the Beltway" is under way. We laid down 9 rythym tracks yesterday and Travis and Erick are going to be headed in on the 14th to finish them up. The album is slated for 14 tracks right now, with a couple extras in there, Erick has been saving his voicemails. It's looking like a late May release right now. We'll keep you posted.

7:51 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment