Happy Canada Day....Here are some fun facts....
Current mood: amused
Category: Travel and Places
FUN FACTS ABOUT CANADA!!!
Are you an American, planning to visit the far-off and exotic land men call CANADA? Don't feel ashamed that you know nothing of this Land of Mystery and Enchantment to the North--NO AMERICAN DOES!
Here we have assembled a collection of FUN FACTS and USEFUL TIPS to aid you with dealing with the inscrutable Canadians!
POUTINE is FRENCH FRIES with GRAVY & CHEESE from QUEBEC where they speak GERMAN!
SUMMER in CANADA is when it stops snowing and there it's called JULY!
CANADA is entirely made of SNOW and ROAD SAND!
There is a SECRET STRIP MINE in NEW BRUNSWICK that was dug to MINE FISH! When it failed, the GOVERNMENT in ONTARIO pretended that it was a city named MONCTON! Amazingly, MOST CANADIANS believe that this "city" named "Moncton" actually exists!
The worst drug in CANADA is the dreaded POUTINE!
MOUNTIES have BIG HATS because there's a BOTTLE OF MOLSONS in there!
It is ILLEGAL to own a GUN in Canada! However, you are REQUIRED to own a SNOWMOBILE and a HAT WITH WOOLY EARFLAPS under PAIN of DEATH!
CANADIANS don't have a PRESIDENT! They have a "PRIME RIB"!
There's a city in SASKATCHEWAN named MOOSE JAW! Do you believe that shit? What's up with that anyway??
When in Montreal, make friends by asking every passerby "Hey, Frenchy, where's the Eiffel Tower?"
Canadians do NOT pronounce "About" as if it were "Aboot"! In fact, the Canadian language DOES NOT HAVE THE WORD "ABOUT"! If a CANADIAN says "aboot," he probably means "a large shoe."
When dried in the sun, POUTINE makes a great DRIVEWAY SEALANT PATCH!
CANADIAN "TELLY" ("TV" to AMERICANS) contains 24 hours of programming without ANY ACTUAL ENTERTAINMENT!
It is ILLEGAL in Canada to use the letter "O" without putting a "U" after it! (As in "Colour" or "Poutine" or "Filthy Whoure")
If a Canadian complains about AMERICA, scream "Margaret Trudeau was a SLUT!" and smile triumphantly at his baffled silence.
In an average month, a CANADIAN makes TEN TIMES what the average AMERICAN makes! However, they are paid in CANADIAN BEAVER PELTS, so in real terms they actually make LESS than their own BEAVERS do!
Every Canadian is given a radioactive MAPLE LEAF TATTOO right on their FOREHEAD so that the EVIL OVERLORDS in ONTARIO can TRACK them! But it's only visible if you're from ONTARIO!
If you go ANYWHERE in the WORLD and say "I'm from CANADA" instead of "I'm from AMERICA" you're 900% less likely to be KILLED!
Every fact AMERICANS know about CANADA was learned on the back of CEREAL BOXES! ALL American CEREAL BOXES are REQUIRED to include facts about CANADA! So if a CANADIAN asks you "What do you know about CANADA?" it is an acceptable response to say "You contain 190mg of SODIUM!"
The province named NEWFOUNDLAND is named NEWFOUNDLAND because Canada LOST IT in the 1960s then found it again only a few months ago. Before that it was called LAND.
Avoid sewer gratings! There are fearsome creatures called POUTINE that live inside!
August 24th is called USA DAY in CANADA! On that day, all the local laws are replaced with AMERICAN LAWS! It is a joyous time when the streets run RED with BLOOD! Best to schedule your vacation visit for another day.
It is called POUTINE because when they called it BROWN BLOBBY PILE no one would EAT IT!
NIAGARA FALLS IS A LIE! It's really a HUGE CANADIAN FAUCET.
NO CANADIAN ALIVE will dare tell you the secret of why the CANADIAN NICKEL has the QUEEN on one side and a BEAVER on the other!
Most CANADIANS are FRIENDLY and PLEASANT to SPEAK WITH.
Transit pissed me off.....
Current mood: aggravated
Category: Life
Transit workers have voted 84.3 percent in favour of strike action. Almost sixteen hundred workers cast ballots out of nearly twenty five hundred. The executive will meet with its members next week to discuss their options. They include a full scale strike or rotating job action.
So how do I get to work now?????? What they were offered was going to make them the second highest paid transit workers in the county. I think people are to money hungry. I only get paid like $9 an hour and I can't strike. I get no extras. I am lucky to get a thank you. I am now pissed off.
"when I look into the mirror," she breathed. "I am always disappointed. I am always bewildered-- my eyes are so small, so small.
In a poem I could express it. I walk, I move, I never see my face. I see my hands and various limbs. I see all around me, I see this large world."
And as her voice came through I envision her motion between the body and the elements.
She sees beyond just the rims of her eyes or the sides of her nose: filmy, freckle meshed blur of nostril and bridge, and lash. She sees.
And much like a child who discovers that the sandbox will eventually be too small, that the world is just one, that joy and disappointment are congruent) she spoke-- each word trailing tongue over truth-- each a revelation:
"when I look in the mirror, it does not refelct what I think. I imagine my eyes to be as large as everything I see."
Over worked and Under paid
Current mood: aggravated
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers
I hate my job Part One Written March 30 So we are totally short staffed. As most places in today's world. At Christmas one chic retired. Then another quite then we fired one. So that leaves me to do the job of well three people. I have three jobs to start with. So now my body feels like it's doing the work of 100!!!! So we hire this chic (finally) but send her into the fire flames of the pit full of wild dogs. So on her first day we are crazy busy. She was bitching about it at the end of the day. Fine whatever, welcome to m y hell. The second day we had two functions going on and then the normal shit on top of it. It was crazy busy. We had two bartenders and the new girl on the floor. So I was at one bar and this guy was on the other. She had 5 rooms to cover. She was bitching that I wasn't helping on the floor. Well fuck I was behind the bar! Every time I left the bar I had a line-up. Plus I had dishes to do and beer to keep staked. I was trying to get to the floor as much as possible and I told her to not worry about clean up; I'll get to it whenever I can. She gave her notice on her third shift. Rumour has it its because of me. Like I really care but I've been there for two years. If the company does not like me they can fire me. If the others were pissed off with how I work they can tell me. And if a 52 year old does not have the balls to tell me to my face then fuck her. Grow some balls and speak your mind. I have turned down jobs to be there to help. I get little pay and fewer tips. I have been sexually harassed and treated like shit. Yet I stay for what I do not know. Anyways, I am just venting. I have to work with her tomorrow so we will see tomorrow. I hate my job Part Two Written March 31 So the stupid chic that gave her notice on Wednesday called the general manager. She claimed that I was a lazy bitch and she would not work with me. She aggraded to only work on Wednesdays and Fridays if she only had to work with this one chic. And if she could stay away from me since she hates me. So then I get in shit and told to pull my weight around there better. Like what the fuck. I've been pulling over ten hour days there. Hell today was my day off…now I work at five. I have been doing everything on my own for over a month with little bitching. The bartender who was supposed to work called in sick so now I have to work with this stupid bitch. By myself for a whole night. I told the bar manager it was a stupid idea but she doesn't care. I've been told I am the one who has to "play nice" and kiss her ass. Fuck that. She can blow me. And if they don't like it they can fire me. I don't really care. She is the one with the fucking attitude and problem. Why do I have to bend over for her? This bitch don't bend over for nobody…
I have no life soooooo... at what age will you get hitched?
Current mood: annoyed
Category: Quiz/Survey
How old are you going to be when you get married?
Put an X in every box that applies to you then post in your myspace or facebook... so all can see and then do themselves!
[x] You know how to make a pot of coffee [X ] You keep track of dates using a calender [] You own more than one credit card [ ] You know how to change the oil in a car [x] You do your own laundry [x ] You vote every election [x] You can cook for yourself [ ] You think politics are exciting [ ] Your parents have better things to say than your friends
Total: 5
[ X] You show up for school/college/work every day early [x ] You always carry a pen in your pocket/purse [ ] You've never gotten a detention [ ] You have never smoked a cigarette [ ] You have never gotten completely trashed [ ] You have forgotten your own birthday at least once [x] You like to take walks by yourself [x] You've watched talk shows [X ] You know what 'credibility' means without looking it up [] You drink coffee at least once a week
Total:5 +5 =10
[x] You know how to do the dishes [] You can count to 10 in another language [x] When you say you're going to do something you do it [x] My parents trust me [x] You can mow the lawn [x] You can make adults laugh without being stupid [x ] You remember to water the plants [x] You study when you have to [x] You pay attention at school/college [x ] You remember to feed your pets
Total: 9 + 10 +19
[ x] You can spell 'experience' without looking it up [ ] You work out on a regular basis [x] You clean up your own mess [ ] The people at Starbucks know you by name [x ] Your favorite kind of food is take out [x] You have gained weight since middle/high school [ ] The first thing you do when you wake up is get caffeine [] You can go to the store without getting something you don't need [] You understand political jokes the first time they are said [x ] You can type quickly
total: 5 + 19 = 24
[x] You have realized that the weather forecast changes every hour [ ] Your only friends are from your place of employment [x] You have been to a tupperware party [x] You have realized that no one will take you seriously unless you are over the age of 25 and have a job [x] You have more bills than you can pay [x] Most of all your friends are older than you are [x] You can say no to staying out all night [x] You use the internet every day [x] Your wardrobe hasn't changed in a while [ x] You can read a book and actually finish it
Total: 9 + 24 = 33
Ok so it tells me 33… That's 2 years away and I am more single then you one can believe… hell I buy batteries at costo out of necessity not for the price…. So I bet it lies!!!!!!!!!!!
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