Hello gentle American. Let's talk about Palin. Granted in an earlier blog I said I did not hate her. I did not say I liked her either. I do think she full of shit and her politics will divide this country even further. Though I will give it to her she does read a mean telepromoter. Being VP of America, no. Being a FOX 5 commentator, yes. I would hire her on the spot! Honestly if she can't seem to manage her own family than how the hell will she mange this nation? But thinking back many politicians in high office had many family problems. I can't fault her parenting skills for her daughters teenage pregnancy. Alaska has like 22 hours of darkness what else is a young girl going to do? Fuck and drink that's what. I will not knock her for her beliefs-her Jesus loving creationism homo hating oil pumping ways. She should embrace her beliefs but not on a national level. Having such an extremist in office is a very dangerous thing especially for gays and other minorities. It seems this country is lacking any shades of gray and every girl knows that a wonderful gray piece in your wardrobe is a must.
Hello gentle Americans. I caught a few moments of John McCain's speech last night and his desperate attempt to pull the rug out from under Obama. Let me say this to you McShame by asking Palin to be your VP does make you a maverick it just makes you behind the times buddy. Remember Mondale asked Geraldine Ferraro to be his running mate in 84? How could you remember that you probably have a touch of senility setting in. As for trying to take Obama's change theme and co-opt it and make it your own honey the only thing you will be changing is your diaper. Bring the fight on baby! We are ready.
Hello gentle Americans. Last night I was filming a comedy special for the other gay network-HERE! It is a pay perview cable channel and unlike LOGO you can curse and make rude gestures with complete abandon. Very liberating. The host, Dave Rubin, besides being a cutie is a very funny man. Even though there was 6 comics in the show He kept it and the laughs rolling along. I will give you more info when it airs. That being said.......... I could not wait to get home, not because I was not enjoying myself, but I desperately wanted to see McShames choice for VP,Sarah Plain's, address the nation at the GOP convention. I wanted to hate her. Despise her. But I did not. Curses! She was funny, natural and firm. Though I could not figure out what was going on with the back of her hair- she could use a HairDini- to whip it up into a tighter French twist. Though at times I was distracted during her speech when they would cut to the little girl playing with the down syndrome baby. At one point she was patting her hair down so firmly I thought she was going to cave the childs head in. And then the awkward shot of her playing with the babies eyes put a shot of terror down my spine. I hope someone checked to see if that baby had both it's eyes after the speech? Also did everyone in the audience look drunk and rudy. To may margarita's and to much sun. Sarah Palin has your typical American family-Forget apple pie, baseball and hot-dogs. Palin is part of the new American-teenage pregnancy, shotgun weddings, and heavy drinking. Go America!
Hello gentle Americans. I am sure you are waiting for me to weigh on McShame's choice of VP, Sarah Palin.
A Diane Price look-alike aka wonder Women Diane Prince or a Palin impersonator?
Or is she a Karen Walker look-alike?
First off Palin looks like a Lorraine Bracco impersonator which may work in her favor because I do like the smooth acting style of Elaine Bracco. Secondly what a great distraction from McShame's shoddy grasp on global views by picking Palin. Who cares that he wants to continue spending 10 billion dollars a month on the war in Iraq, who cares that his views on gays are cirque 1955, who cares that he suffers from incontinence when he laughs to hard all I care about is Palin's out of wedlock prego daughter! By picking Palin McShame is trying to prove to the nation that he still is a political maverick-Look how edgy I am! I picked a women! And a sort of hot one! Which was also a great decision on his part. Picking a semi hot VP distracts us from looking at his face, which looks like melted candle wax, and perhaps he should take it one step forward and make her wear a low cut blouse and a push up bra. Now that would be hot! Maybe by picking Palin he was hoping to go for the 'Juno' audience-pregnant teenage girls. But sadly they are to young to vote. Though there mothers are not. Perhaps Jamie Lynn Spears will make a guest appearance at the GOP convention and make a rousing speech? It could happen. As for her political experience that is still up in the air. She is the governor of Alaska. What that means I am not sure. Most of the population is made of up of bears and deer's and the other half are alcoholics. Which perhaps works in Mcshame's favor because over the last 8 years of Bush's regime alcoholism had gone up 50%. How did I get these statistics? I made them up which any republican can appreciate.
Hello gentle Americans. It is Labor Day weekend and I've been released from my show duty. How anti-labor.
This season I have been performing at the UU Theater in PTOWN with my new theatrical sensation-FRESH! It has been a success on many levels. Personal, Professional and financial. Though this weekend the John Lennon traveling art show moved into the space. Not only was John a talented musician/song writer but he was also a talented little artist. Simple little charactitures with a childish whimsy make up most of the show. Because of this I was relocated upstairs to another space while temporary walls were put up downstairs to showcase his art. It has been a hassle to say the least. I was forced out of my dressing area that I have called home for two months and all those little postcards and fan mail sent to me from all over the country have been misplaced. Even the erotic drawing from Wisconsin that some strange teenage boy drew of me. I never pictured myself doing that to a donkey but seeing in it in colored pencil so lovingly rendered made it almost appealing. It was better than some of Johns drawing for that matter. I just hate when the dead infringe on the living. Yes, he was a great bla bla bla and sure my humble existence is nothing compared to his but I am still alive damit and I am Television Star now. I'll be in TV Guide for christ sakes! And than the strangest thing happened the Lennon people decided they wanted to be the only show in the place and bought me out for the weekend. It was as if John heard my cry of 'help' took pity on me and offered me hand and said, "Let it be Hedda, let it be." And you know what I am going to do just that.
So on this Labor Day I will labor no more and be like the throngs of people touristing in town doing nothing but cookouts, drunken brawls and love making. How dull.
Hello gentle Americans. Sadly I missed Obama's speech last night as I was working. THough I did catch Michelle's dress and it was another nightmarish garment. THe wrong colors and those decorative flowers have to go! Keep it simple girl and let your natural beauty shine! And when Michelle smiles she light up the room.
Back to me....
If you pick up the current issue of the TV Guide-Sept 1-7/ I think the cast of 90210 is on the cover-and look in the Water Cooler section in the beginning of the mag I am mentioned. They have a pull quote from my appearance on PRoject Runway. I am so honored to be on the household of every American and I just want to thank TV Guide for bumping my national exposure.
So I am watching project runway right now and they are about to send the designers to a roof top. I was hoping something Mafia style was about to happen, like throwing the little blond tan-a-rexic off the roof but alas there is TIm Gunn with a Muchkin. No it is some dude from Saturn who sounds like he sucked an elephants dick who just sucked on a helium baloon. Oh it is so exciting.
This challenge does not make an ounce of fucking sense: tear apart a car and make some hot dress out of it. It is just shameless product placement . So after they pick the cars clean they use the material to make a dress. I wish to god there was a dead body in the back of one of the cars. Stella, the leather bitch, could do something edgy with it. Or perhaps a suitcase of cocaine would have been cute. If you cook coke does it turn into a lucite pump?
They look like homeless people after they load up their shopping carts. Now that would be a great design challange: homeless people. Very New York. The famous homeless people of NYC.
I had a brain fart and when I came to Suede is using the phrase wackadoodle. I like to wack his doodle-right between the eyes! I hate suede. And than he starts talking about his father, his dead father. At least his dead father did not come to him in a dream and tell him to do something with the car lighter. Like burn that smurf hair off his head.
The drama : Kenley's model had to drop out of the competition because of...well.. she was puking?
Kenley whines for way to long. I would like to pimp slap her. That is when you slap the bitch and she flies over the bar but her shoes are still on the ground. Pimp slap.
Tim used the word Fabulous for Cock-ho's outfit. That is a good sign for Cock-ho.
Tim used the word Trajectory. Oh god he is turning me on tonight.
I think Terri is drunk rolling on the floor like Whitney Houston on a bender.
I have to say the show is kind of boring compared to last weeks challange.
"I can't believe the model sat down!" Poor Keith cries out. He is having a melt down because his model sat down splitting his crap ass skirt. I actually thought it helped the design. Maybe is she shat in it he would have been saved?
The dresses:
Jerly-Loved his out fit. And the judges did as well. The burnt out stylist with her own show is happy.
Kieth-hated it! So boring! And as we all know poorly constructed.
Terri- it was ok, did not love it.
Kenley" Her outfit seems highly flammable. I am scared.
Suede: Terrible. I don't even remember it and sadly he is saved. God what will happen if he wins?
Cock-ho-kind of fierce. The judges loved it as well. Though Cock-ho seems so bored. Perhaps it is just nerves.
Blayne-Bad cut but cute concept. They agree the cut is off. Hiedi curses him and says no sex for seven years for breaking the mirrors. Do people really want to have sex with him?
Joe-Hate his dress.
Stella-who cares. It is so ugly!
Leanne-Holy crap! It is wonderful. And what a risk.
In the end we all know Keith looses and tries to pin his bad design on his model. What a hairy muff. And the lovely anemic girl takes home the prize for the day and feels she can take on the world now. First honey eat something and sit in the sun for a bit than you can take on the world.
I am sitting here watching the Democratic Convention. I have a choice to make-watch Bill Clinton's speech or watch the new episode of Project Runway? I think I am going to watch Bill. I am chosing a womanizing possible heavy drinker over a stoic german super model and a grey haired whispy lovable queen.
Let's talk about Hil's pant suit-a lovely understated blue. More of a back round color so her husband takes the foreground. A smart choice though I do think she looks better in warmer colors. Her necklace still looks cheap.
I hate the way Michelle Obama looks. Her hair looks like she purchased it from the James Brown wig collection. And the dress!!! Oh my god what the hell is around her neck? The large glittery flowers look like they are going to chew her head off and spit it out. Very "Little Shop Of Horrors"-FEED ME! And it is bunching up in all the wrong places. She is dressing like she is queen (which if fine in my book) but sadly she is looking more like the court jester. Is her stylist Ringling Brothers? I hate to be the person who has to pick up the elephant poo after this stinker of a dress choice. I wish I had her cell number I would text her immediately!
Bill just entered the arena to rousing applause. He does not look to drunk. Perhaps he just had a little nip before the show which explains it's slow start and that bad global warming joke. I hate his tie. It is on crooked and the color is not a deep enough or vibrant enough blue. Though I do miss him as president. It was a good time in this country when Bill was at the helm. This last 8 years have been a sebaceous cyst just waiting to be lanced. If McShame is elected this cyst will grow and grow and depending on where it is on the body making a low cut dress impossible to wear.
Hello gentle Americans. Not only am I a fabulous television personality but I am also a concerned American citizen. I just finished watching Hilary Rhodam Clinton's speech at the Democratic National Convention. Being a former presidential candidate I feel it is my obligation to do so. You didn't know I was running? Well, I did and I lost. But I am not bitter. I must say I loved Hilary's pumpkin colored pant suit. It flattered her complexion very nicely and was not to off putting. Though when she walked out on stage I thought it was Shirley Jones from the Partridge Family. If she decides to leave politics behind she could get jobs impersonating her. Though who really wants a Shirley Jones look-alike these days? She could have worn a chunkier necklace the piece she wore looked rathercheap (well she is 12 million dollars in the hole). I do think her hair had one two many highlights but the cut works well on her face. Let me not forget her daughter Chelsea who introduced her so lovingly. She looked like she stepped straight off a porn set. Well, a democratic convention porn set. I loved the long blond extensions and the glossy blow job lips. She's come a long way from her ugly duckling years. Her black suit with matching skirt made her look rather hippy. I would have removed the ivory ducky and let her flash some cleavage she is a young women after all. Sadly Her head did not match her body and was giving the audience mixed messages: You can fuck me. But not tonight I have a some paper work to do. I think Tim Gunn would have been very concerned and would have said, "This concerns me.". As for Michelle Obama she looks like a b-list pageant queen-the hair is to small, the dress color to drab (who wears sea foam?) and the make-up a bit severe. She also needs to learn to smile more, men like women who smile more, for god sakes people like people who smile more. Perhaps she'll warm up eventually. Oh, what about the issues she spoke of? Yes, I agree with all of them. We must unite, and get health care, and unify the middle class, and help that bald cancer lady with her autistic adopted kids get a hat, and get Bill a blowjob and bottle of moonshine, and oh yes vote for Obama.
A Diane Price look-alike aka wonder Women
Diane Prince or a Palin impersonator?
Or is she a Karen Walker look-alike?