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October 8, 2008 - Wednesday
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Why I have always loathed school
Current mood:  awake
It's weird to admit and fully accept that I HATE school. I mean, I really hate it. because I really enjoy learning and im pretty voracious about information. but I just cant stand school (my D-average in high school can probably support that. no worries, I figured out my ish when I got to college and have an A-average now. yay Dean's List.) I think my hatred of school is partly why I have always played with the idea of being a teacher in the back of my mind - just because I know I could do it better or make it more interesting because I hate school so much. when you dislike something that much, every crack and every flaw about it hovers around you like a neon blinking sign flashing in your face and refusing to be ignored. when discrepancies in the system or in teaching methods become that apparent, it's hard to suppress the urge to want to jump up and fix it. also why I have fleeting moments of wanting to be a used car salesman. I could sell the sh*t out of used cars for this exact reason. but that train of thought is for another day and another boring blog full of my thoughts about nothing.
ANYWAY, as I was reading this book I came across this paragraph and the entirety of it so truly fully encompasses why I hate school/did bad in school so perfectly I felt the need to repeat it here. it's from a novel called 'The Gargoyle' by Andrew Davidson. I can't tell you if the book is worth the read or not because I am not through reading. maybe ill come back when I am and put a little footnote or something at the bottom saying "yay" or "nay" about it though.
"My first, and most lasting, addiction has always been to the obsessive study of any matter that took hold of my curiosity. Although I was never much for school, this is not because I believed education an inferior pursuit. Far from it: my problem was always that school interfered with matters more fascinating. The courses were designed to teach practical information but, because I understood the core concepts so quickly they could not hold my interest. I was always distracted by the esoterica that might appear in a textbook's footnote or a teacher's offhand remark. For example: if my geometry teacher mentioned something about Galileo giving lectures on the physical structure of Hell, it became impossible for me to refocus my interest when he returned to talking about the sides of a parallelogram. I would skip the next three classes to visit the library, reading everything I could about Galileo, and when I returned to school I would fail the next math test because it did not include any questions about the Inquisition."
ditto brother, dit-to. *high fives fictional character*
10:09 AM
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February 5, 2008 - Tuesday
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Independent Thinker
Current mood:  distractable
This is quite possibly the most true personality test I've ever taken for myself!
Independent Thinker (IT)
(Just visiting? Take the free test and determine your personality type!)
The independent thinker is an analytical and witty person. He is normally self-confident and does not let himself get worked up by conflicts and criticism. He is very much aware of his own strengths and has no doubts about his abilities. People of this personality type are often very successful in their career as they have both competence and purposefulness. The independent thinker is an excellent strategist; logic, systematics and theoretical considerations are his world. He is eager for knowledge and always endeavours to expand and perfect his knowledge in any area which is interesting for him. Abstract thinking comes naturally to him; scientists and computer specialists are often of this type.
The independent thinker is a specialist in his area. The development of his ideas and visions is important to him; he loves being as flexible as possible and, ideally, of being able to work alone because he often finds it a strain having to make his complex trains of thought understandable to other people. He cannot stand routine. Once he considers an idea to be good it is difficult to make him give it up; he pursues the implementation of that idea obstinately and persistently, also in the face of external opposition.
The independent thinker is not the type who easily comes out of his shell. Speaking about his emotional life is also not one of his strong points. Anyway, social relationships are not particularly important to him; he is happy with just a few, close friends who find it easy to share his intellectual world. He finds it difficult to establish new ties. In love, he needs a lot of space and independence but this does not mean that his partner is not important to him. The independent thinker often makes a cool and reserved impression on others; but this impression is deceptive: he can hardly bear it if people close to him should reject him. He prefers a harmonious, balanced relationship with a partner who shares his interests and with whom he can realise his visions.
Adjectives which describe your type
introverted, theoretical, logical, planning, rational, independent, intellectual, self-confident, analytical, structured, dogged, witty, resolute, self-critical, visionary, inventive, independent, unsociable, reserved, nonconformist, quiet, visionary, honest, demanding, hardworking
These subjects could interest you
art, jazz, classical music, science fiction, computer, drawing/painting, spiritual matters, meditation, handicraft, writing, strategic games, politics
1:08 AM
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June 9, 2007 - Saturday
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Lessons Learned
There's some things that I regret
words I wish has gone unsaid
some starts, that had some better endings
been some bad times ive been through
damage I could not undue
some things that I wish I could do all over again
but it dont really matter
when life gets that much harder
it makes you that much stronger
some pages turned, some bridges burned
but there were lessons learned
and every tear that had to fall from my eyes
every day I wondered how I'd get through the night
for every change life has thrown me
im thankful for every break in my heart
im thankful for every start
some pages turned, some bridges burned
but there were lessons learned
There's been mistakes that I have made
and chances I just threw away
and some roads that I never should have taken
there's been some signs that I didnt see
and hearts that I hurt needlessly
some rules that I wish I could have one more chance to mend
but it doesnt make a difference
the past cant be re- written, you get the life you're given
some pages turned, some bridges burned
but they were lessons learned
9:59 AM
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