Bad Acid Trip!!!
Current mood: anxious
Category: Life
Sorry to have to post this blog..especially with the economy tanking like it is. It sucks and effects all of us. Looks like that dream of healthcare for everyone went up the noses of the corporate fucks with the golden parachutes. Gotta love white collar crooks.
Anyway, If you can, I need your help. Just found out I need surgery in my mouth..which is not covered by any kind of insurance I have...and it's urgent. Turns out (ugly details) that most of us 9/11 survivors and volunteers got a condition called "GERD". That's Gastro Esophocus Reflux Disease. What it is is that the "flap" that keeps our stomach from our windpipes is locked "open". It's from the toxins and is treated with heavy duty stuff like hardcore NEXIUM. Well, turns out that doesn't work so well, and I've been having so much of it it ate away at some teeth and now I have a massive infection in my jaw that's in danger of spreading to my brain. So I need surgery. They have to drill holes into my jaw to relieve and clean out the infection...and I don't have the money. So if anyone can help, I'd really appreciate it. Every penny counts. I gotta get this done pretty soon or else...
I really really REALLY hate doing this. REALLY HATE IT. I want so much to be on my own, working, and getting back to a normal life...but just when I think I'm 4 steps ahead, I get a set back like this. Arrrgh!!! I want to make bumper stickers that say, "9/11 Toxins, The Gift That Keeps Giving!".
But fuck all that. I am LUCKY to alive and have the best friends in the world. I am surrounded by love from my friends, and if anyone asks me, I am the one who is truely blessed. If you know me, you know that. I have Guardian Angels in all shapes and forms and I love them all.
In the GOOD NEWS department, Scooter and I are doing more days at the hospital when I'm feeling well enough. We are soon gonna start at the hospice. It is mine and Scooter's belief that if we can make people's time here on Earth better, then we're there. And you all have made my time here so wonderful I have tears in my eyes as I write this.
So THANK YOU, BLESS YOU, and help if you can. If not, I TOTALLY understand, and I hope things get better for you. And if I can help...let me know! Love, George
Dr. Scooter on CNN!
Current mood: froggy
Category: Life
George Tabb & Dr. Scooter on CNN: 9/11/08
You know, a man famous in punk rock circles for his connection with the band, The Ramones, and his own band, Roach Motel, was one of the folks living in lower Manhattan during the September 11th attacks. George Tabb ran from his TriBeCa apartment just four blocks away with his wife and dog and saw all of the carnage that day. People jumping out of windows. His apartment condemned because it was so full of dust and debris. A day that has permanently affected his life and his health in many ways. He joins us now with his dog.
Because the dog, named Scooter, there he is, is a big part of his story and he can't go anywhere without him.
GEORGE TABB, PTSD PATIENT AFTER SEPTEMBER 11TH: Absolutely.
HARRIS: George, maybe let's start there.
Hey, Scooter, good to see you.
You literally can't go anywhere without Scooter?
TABB: I can go other places without Scooter, but I like to go everywhere with Scooter and that's why he's here today actually.
HARRIS: Well, George, tell us why he's so important to you.
TABB: Well, scooter is very important because we both escaped 9/11 together from that fiery mess that the terrorists brought in. It was horrible. And I had been sick with different diseases, beside PTSD, that we'll talk about. I got a bunch of other illnesses, physical illnesses.
HARRIS: But the point about -- that's important to make about Scooter is that he was helpful to your recovery and he was coming back from --
TABB: Yes, he was. Yes, he did. He was very helpful to my recovery. Being sick a lot, being in the hospital a lot with different surgeries for different genetic diseases that I've got from 9/11, Scooter was there and helped me feel better because he knew where the pain would be and licked there. And I found that to be so helpful that I wanted to share that with others.
HARRIS: Nice.
TABB: And through the St. Vincent's Hospital here in New York City, through my friend and therapist Bob Kupferman (ph), and my shrink, David Gordon (ph), they got me involved with the pet therapy program, where I bring Scooter to visit sick patients.
HARRIS: Well, Scooter couldn't be cuter.
Let's talk for a moment about the post-traumatic stress disorder. We most often associate that with people who come back from war. Describe the symptoms you were living with and to the extent that you're still living with symptoms.
TABB: I'm still living with symptom. I still have the nightmares, you know, which are terrible. Like giant buildings chasing me or monsters or . . .
HARRIS: Giant buildings actually chasing you? You see that sometimes?
TABB: Yes, I do. And I had nightmares of the carnage and different things representing those buildings. And I wake up screaming. I still wake up scared out of my mind. When I hear airplanes, I'm very -- I get very nervous. Helicopters. Police sirens.
But through the help of St. Vincent's and through their PTSD health program -- which was funded by "The New York Times," by the way, did a great thing by funding them I learned -- it is behavioral therapy. They taught me to listen to sirens, not as a sound of danger, but the sound of people helping each other.
HARRIS: Right. And, George, what do you think about on a day like today? Another anniversary?
TABB: I think it's sad that Americans don't know the extent of how much still downtown people are still sick. How many people downtown are still affected by the events of that day. How many people are poisoned. How many people are dealing with terrible, terrible illnesses. How police and firefighters cannot talk about it because their pensions are being threatened, who want to talk about this and how sick they are but can't get their pensions.
HARRIS: But, George, what about your emotions? Are you -- seven years later, are you angry? Are you -- have you made some kind of peace with this?
TABB: I was very angry for a long time and very depressed and even locked up a couple times for being so depressed about it. But now, with the help of the pet therapy program and just myself and my friend, Monica, which her and I are starting an organization called the Whirlwind Condition, which is online, where we're trying to raise awareness of people being sick from 9/11.
By being an activist and by doing all this stuff, I'm feeling a lot better. I feel like I'm taking control of the situation. I'm able to fight back. To sort of say, and make things better for the world. And that way the PTSD doesn't get me as bad. I found that sitting around idly and just worrying about it and not doing anything was the worst thing for it.
But by taking action, with my dog, Scooter, here, and I'm doing something good for -- giving back. Like John McCain said in his speech, although I'm voting for Obama, McCain said that when young people, when they become part of something bigger than themselves, it brings a lot of joy. And that's absolutely the truth.
HARRIS: Well, George, thanks for sharing the story. Your amazing story.
TABB: Thank you.
HARRIS: And our thanks to Scooter there.
TABB: Oh, thank you, Tony.
HARRIS: And, George, we wish you all the best.
TABB: Thank you. You too.
HARRIS: Thank you.
TABB: Thank you. Bye-bye.
(Please donate what you can at http://www.myspace.com/helpgeorgetabb)
Great Essay and CNN Transcript with me By My Hero!
Current mood: accomplished
Category: Life
WHEN EXACTLY DID MANY REAL HARD HITTING JOURNALISTS IN THE MEDIA PREDOMINANTLY BECOME SELECTIVE ABOUT WHAT IS NEWS.
....sticking to teleprompters.........
The definition of news is stuff that I need to and want to know about.
To all young and future journalists who may be having a tough time getting proper foot in door, under no circumstances give up if you care or lip-syncing-fit-the-suit-and-go-with-what's-safe popster Ashley Simpsons will be reading and writing the news mark my words it's already begun.
George Tabb was invited to be interviewed on CNN regarding the 2008 7 year Sept. 11th anniversary. I accompanied him. Now if anyone has ever wondered why 'all roads lead to George Tabb for Monica Nelson' this blog might erase any and all questions.
Normally on Sept. 11th anniversaries George who was residing in Lower Manhattan back in 2001 when one of the most horrific large scale man made tragedies in American history occurred witnessing it all and helping out as well as being told it was officially safe (he along with others, including pregnant women AND small children) to yes go back to his nearby apartment, 'no cause for protect yourself with a HAZMAT SUIT' alarm, George and others on these anniversaries since 2001 holes up in his apt. and has depressing flashbacks but he did something really wonderful and powerful and RIGHT during CNN's international live broadcast period too!
A mass man made tragedy but also a mass man made continuing coverup and stall tactics resulting in several hundred people already dying before their time, leaving loved ones behind.
An estimated almost 3,00 people perished in the Sept. 11th 2001 tragedy, maybe up to 70,000 individuals, First Resonders, as well as innocent nearvy residents, schoolchildren etc may drop dead before their time and at the very least may be affected genetically this being THE worst environmental disaster in U.S. history.
George Tabb just wants people to know what's going on. Like a true journalist. Putting people's needs over that of publishers editors etc. A journalist is someone who reports the truth, but not just a part of it
because THAT doesn't really help anyone reporting part of the truth, that's just plain bad journalism.
Why does anyone WANT to get into journalism in the first place? Wanna be on camera? Go be a porn star or pop star then
CNN wanted him to stick to the lone subject of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome but he didn't.
While CNN does an incredible job of reporting serious news and events there ARE flaws. I had a growing suspicion beginning in the evening of the Sept. 11 anniversary that CNN would not be uploading video of George interview onto their website. They wanted him to stick to the lone subject of Post Traumatic Stress syndrome but he didn't.
News organizations everywhere I suspect wanted a pity party day every Sept. 11th anniversary showing everybody crying. Presidential running mates John McCain and Barack Obama took time out from their adverserial campaign to spend the day at Ground Zero crying with and hugging people who lost loved ones, co-workers and friends in the Sept 11th 2001 tragedy.
It was day of promoting the Post traumatic stress syndrome amongst survivors of that day and those sickened in the aftermath (that was a week in various newspapers around the country actually) and it was a day of yes recording Obama and McCain down at Ground Zero hugging and crying with people who lost their loved ones, friends and co-workers
I in no way mean to sound dismissive or glib about that by the way and I apologize profusely to anyone if I do.
I think George showed everybody around the world who watched his interview no self pitying, he showed everyone some piss and vinegar but also a ray of sunshine. Beacause along with extremely important and urgent mentioning of how the First Responders sickened in the 9/11 aftermath are being told to keep their mouths shut (which I don't hear anyone else talking about except for those helping WHIRLWIND COALITION) and about being sick beyond the PTSD he and so many others in his situation suffer from George talked about how training his dog Scooter to become a certified therapy pet AND the fact that they are going around the ST. Vincents hospital visiting and cheering up sick patients that THAT aspect has helped lift George's own spirits tremendously!
Now the mention of First Responders being told to keep their mouths shut, that is NOT something you hear or read anywhere. Except from George, myself and everybody who has been helping us spread the word spread the truth.
CNN gave George 5 minutes or so and he opened up about all THIS stuff and IN my opinion made them look inept because HE'S the one giving the news while being interviewed basically by a Regis Philbin type (no offense to Regis Philbin but even Philbin never claims to be a journalist) who needed to stick to the agenda of the scripted but true stay inside the lines news and George was great and wouldn't buckle or be steered!
Does almost everybody in power want everybody else to cry in regards to this issue on this particular anniversary? George kept right on talking about things he felt were urgently important for people to know and the interviewer kept referring to how cute Scooter was and trying to steer George back from where he was going.
So now it's been a few days now and while they do have the transcript up on their website (a bit hard for me to find actually) I don't think CNN is going to post video of GT'S interview, it seems like they would've already, AND they told him they would right after he got back to his apartment and called them..........He was there to talk about the sole subject of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome and he instead opened a can of worms (Doh! the truth) but ALSO opened a bag of sunshine and none of those things were on the agenda.
And heck everybody DOES have an agenda let's be honest about that.
24 hours a day specific people known as First Responders are on call helping us and now when they need help not many know about it. The First Responders have never been in a situation like this.
It IS of course reported in the news about lobbying and fighting for government funding to help those sickened in the aftermath of 9/11.
But that's all.
It is my wish that even though George Tabb did not stick to what CNN producers wanted him to ONLY talk about a few days ago it is my wish that they have him back on (and give him MORE than 5 minutes) and let him talk about what really needs to get out there publicly information wise.
AND that these journalists do their homework 9and not in a curory sense). That would so tremendously help everybody sickened. It truly would!
But there IS (weird to say) something hopeful and positive about everything. Even that day back in 2001. On that day no one cared about the color of anyones skin or religious beliefs or sexual orientation. Everybody was just worried about everybody else as humans and collectively praying or crossing their fingers in spirit. It wasn't a city or a state or even a country this particularly happened to. It was just a world full of human beings realizing how fragile life can be and hoping as many if not all would be alright. I have to think that way or I feel helpless retroactively and start crying. I would rather feel full of piss and vinegar in regards to helping those whose bodies were harmed (and genetically altered) by the toxicity of the disaster and I would rather give them hope, not meaningless 'Help is on the way, the check's in the mail' crap.
As for the original 9/11 ills activist (and sickened by it himself) George Tabb Sept.11th anniversries will no longer be a day where hides himself away in his apartment and has horrible flashbacks and feels alone like a lot of people in his situation do on that day. Henceforth it will be a day where he goes and does something wonderful, something powerful
And along with mentioning some super serious things that NO ONE else ever wants to mention, the part about First Responders being told to keep their mouths shut, George brought a very sunshiny aspect out into the open, that no one's spotlighted or encouraged.
The fact that he and Scooter making other people feel better through the pet therapy thing is making HIM feel better, happier, still vital.
He is giving back to the land and it is filling him up inside with good vibes!
we will make sure of that, and hopefully more people in his situation can get to that point on that day where they gain strength IN spiritual vitality rather than questioning God about why they have to live like this in pain and in growing debt and be forgotten by 'patriotic' flag waving neighbors.
THAT'S why I am George's self appointed Girl Friday because everything I have just written he has inspirationally (perhaps inadvertently) taught me for more than 2 years now.
George is just a regular guy, he doesn't have super powers and look what he can accomplish and look what he can inspire in others. The confidence that they TOO can accomplish anything they really want if they have tunnel vision and never give up.
George Tabb would've been dead awhile ago like Det. James Zadroga and Sister Cindy Mahoney and too many others if it hadn't been for all of us helping him in various ways, money wise, promotion wise regarding this issue.
And as a long time fan of his I thank you so much
I have been reading his columns since I was 18, decades before I ever thought of meeting him.
When I realized that he was on the verge of dropping dead without proper diagnosis and treatment I came up with WHIRLWIND COALITION and there have been so many people jumping in to help it's whatever is byond beautiful. That what George and I want in regards to everyone else in the same situation as him.
Major media television, radio and magazines producers, publishers and editors, people who know major Major media television, radio and magazines producers, publishers and editors
please, give George some time, one could always recommend these outlets to me but no one is even going to let the likes of me through the door, we need recommendations and introductions THEN we'll take it from there.
The underground is there for George that's what's been keeping HIM alive, but we cannot help everybody who needs help.
Please get ahold of me at whirlwindcoalition@yahoo.com or get ahold of George at HIS email address but he is going to predominantly be forwarding these things to me so that I can look them over first.
Put George Tabb's name in subject header.
Any question's as to why I call myself his girl friday let they now be laid to rest. I love George as a friend, but this is bigger than him, there is a very big picture here which many are only getting a slanted view of because not ALL of the story is being reported.
And that's bad journalism, whatever the program, whatever the station.
Don't make the people have to chase down bits and pieces of the puzzle and have to decimate truth from propaganda within the pages of even one newspaper or magazine.
I've had gripes with otherwise awesome newspapers, magazines not I got one with a TV station
And if everyone took note AT the CNN studios the other day I am not a loud mouth, I did not say two words, I wanted George to do all the talking on and off camera.
I simply want people to hear what he has to say because he is the voice of maybe up to 70,000 people being shoved under the rug in the same health situation as him.
Here is the transcrip of CNN interview (on actual website there are some mispellings which I took the liberty of correcting)
All the best to everyone and I just feel very happy that a dear friend of mine and man whose talents I've admired for over two decades, that he wasn't sitting in his closet questioning God and why this was happening to him and feeling alone and isolated.
Nothing that has happened to his body for the last 7 years is due to his own machinations. and anybody who'd like to debate that point I offer up Det. James Zadroga, Sister Cyndy Mahoney who were perfect specimans of health and many other people and all of these people began coming down with a laundry list of illnesses shortly after 9/11. And those that did not properly monitor their health because they didn't know they were supposed to keep an eye on their health
they wound up just dropping dead mere months after noticing problems.
THAT is what George Tabb and I are trying to prevent. We don't want anyone else to get sick or become sicker or to die because they don't
even know the truth of it all.
Plus this is no way to treat brave First Responders who risk their lives every day and who in the aftermath of what George calls Chernobyl on the Hudson obsessively dug through the burning rubble to try and find survivors and remains.
Forgetting about those sickened by that, by the governmental coverups and the fact that they were not told to be properly protected (Ground Zero SHOU'VE been a HAZMAT site) The rest of us forgetting about them in their urgent hour of need is inhuman.
-Monica Nelson at Whirlwind Coalition
It is of the utmost importance to have friends new and old who WILL go to the ends of the earth for one i situations not of our own orchestrations, isn't that what we all want?......
TRANSCRIPT FROM CNN BELOW
and I took the liberty of correcting the mispellings. I need people to look up WHIRLWIND COALITION because of this wonderful hit it over the fence interview my friend George gave not for people to be misled and walk away
You know, we often hear the term "Post-Traumatic Stress" as it relates to war. It's also a condition that affects many who survived the attacks on 9/11. One man shares his story with us.
That's coming up next.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
HARRIS: Let's get a market check now. New York Stock Exchange, New York City. As you can see, the Dow is down 37 points. It's been a mostly down week so far. A lot of triple digit losses on the day, for much of the week. We're going to check in with Susan Lisovicz and get the latest information on the markets for you in just a couple of minutes.
The New York Stock Exchange joining the nation in marking the seventh anniversary of the September 11th terror attacks. Financial traders paused for a few minutes just before the opening bell this morning. A few blocks away at a tearful ceremony at Ground Zero, New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg described the attacks as the day our world was broken. The names of each of the 2,751 people killed at the World Trade Center were read aloud and four separate moments of silence were observed marking when each plane hit and each tower fell.
You know, a man famous in punk rock circles for his connection with the band, The Ramones, and his own band, Roach Motel, was one of the folks living in lower Manhattan during the September 11th attacks. George Tabb ran from his TriBeCa apartment just four blocks away with his wife and dog and saw all of the carnage that day. People jumping out of windows. His apartment condemned because it was so full of dust and debris. A day that has permanently affected his life and his health in many ways. He joins us now with his dog.
Because the dog, named Scooter, there he is, is a big part of his story and he can't go anywhere without him.
GEORGE TABB, PTSD PATIENT AFTER SEPTEMBER 11TH: Absolutely.
HARRIS: George, maybe let's start there.
Hey, Scooter, good to see you.
You literally can't go anywhere without Scooter?
TABB: I can go other places without Scooter, but I like to go everywhere with Scooter and that's why he's here today actually.
HARRIS: Well, George, tell us why he's so important to you.
TABB: Well, scooter is very important because we both escaped 9/11 together from that fiery mess that the terrorists brought in. It was horrible. And I had been sick with different diseases, beside PTSD, that we'll talk about. I got a bunch of other illnesses, physical illnesses.
HARRIS: But the point about -- that's important to make about Scooter is that he was helpful to your recovery and he was coming back from --
TABB: Yes, he was. Yes, he did. He was very helpful to my recovery. Being sick a lot, being in the hospital a lot with different surgeries for different genetic diseases that I've got from 9/11, Scooter was there and helped me feel better because he knew where the pain would be and licked there. And I found that to be so helpful that I wanted to share that with others.
HARRIS: Nice.
TABB: And through the St. Vincent's Hospital here in New York City, through my friend and therapist Bob Kupferman (ph), and my shrink, David Cordon (ph), they got me involved with the pet therapy program, where I bring Scooter to visit sick patients.
HARRIS: Well, Scooter couldn't be cuter.
Let's talk for a moment about the post-traumatic stress disorder. We most often associate that with people who come back from war. Describe the symptoms you were living with and to the extent that you're still living with symptoms.
TABB: I'm still living with symptom. I still have the nightmares, you know, which are terrible. Like giant buildings chasing me or monsters or . . .
HARRIS: Giant buildings actually chasing you? You see that sometimes?
TABB: Yes, I do. And I had nightmares of the carnage and different things representing those buildings. And I wake up screaming. I still wake up scared out of my mind. When I hear airplanes, I'm very -- I get very nervous. Helicopters. Police sirens.
But through the help of St. Vincent's and through their PTSD health program -- which was funded by "The New York Times," by the way, did a great thing by funding them I learned -- it is behavioral therapy. They taught me to listen to sirens, not as a sound of danger, but the sound of people helping each other.
HARRIS: Right. And, George, what do you think about on a day like today? Another anniversary?
TABB: I think it's sad that Americans don't know the extent of how much still downtown people are still sick. How many people downtown are still affected by the events of that day. How many people are poisoned. How many people are dealing with terrible, terrible illnesses. How police and firefighters cannot talk about it because their pensions are being threatened, who want to talk about this and how sick they are but can't get their pensions.
HARRIS: But, George, what about your emotions? Are you -- seven years later, are you angry? Are you -- have you made some kind of peace with this?
TABB: I was very angry for a long time and very depressed and even locked up a couple times for being so depressed about it. But now, with the help of the pet therapy program and just myself and my friend, Monica, which her and I are starting an organization called the Whirlwind Coalition, which is online, where we're trying to raise awareness of people being sick from 9/11.
By being an activist and by doing all this stuff, I'm feeling a lot better. I feel like I'm taking control of the situation. I'm able to fight back. To sort of say, and make things better for the world. And that way the PTSD doesn't get me as bad. I found that sitting around idly and just worrying about it and not doing anything was the worst thing for it.
But by taking action, with my dog, Scooter, here, and I'm doing something good for -- giving back. Like John McCain said in his speech, although I'm voting for Obama, McCain said that when young people, when they become part of something bigger than themselves, it brings a lot of joy. And that's absolutely the truth.
HARRIS: Well, George, thanks for sharing the story. Your amazing story.
TABB: Thank you.
HARRIS: And our thanks to Scooter there.
TABB: Oh, thank you, Tony.
HARRIS: And, George, we wish you all the best.
TABB: Thank you. You too.
HARRIS: Thank you.
TABB: Thank you. Bye-bye.
HARRIS: Moments ago a moment of silence in the Senate chambers.
Just wanted to share these pictures with you from Capitol Hill of another moment of silence as Congress, the Senate, observes the anniversary of the 9/11 attacks. Let's talk again about Hurricane Ike, our other big story today, as it heads towards Texas. Fear of a storm surge growing and with good reason. We'll explain to you what a surge can actually do.
Teresa sent me a link to CNN feedback and said that she'd sent an email requesting the interview video to be posted and asked why everything else was available but George's.
Crawdaddy, Christain Bears & Expired Ramones!
Current mood: froggy
Category: Life
Anyone Remember Crawdaddy Magazine? Me too! Anyway, I thought it was gone a long time ago...but it turns out it's still around kicking some ass. And they even did a story just now about me being punk rock, The Ramones, Christian Bears and even 9/11! Check it out here:
It even has a link to Evan's wonderful film you can see below:
Wanna see something else cool? My pal Ryan in Iowa did an interview with me for his zine and here it is...I'll have a link to his site soon.
And if that's not cool enough....because of all your CONTINUED help, I am alive. That's really what it comes down too. Without your help, I would certainly be dead by now. But instead, I'm fighting for those who can't speak up about the after effects of September 11, 2001, and what can be done to save more lives. I am also volunteering at St. Vincent's Hospital with Scooter to visit sick and dying people to try and give them some joy through Scooters licks and kisses. And all of this is because of you!!!! So, BLESS YOU!!!! You are helping me help other sick people, from 9/11, and beyond! And I swear, as soon as I possibly can, me and Monica are gonna launch Whirlwind Coalition! It's just it needs tons of funding to become a non-profit...which of course, is ironic!
THANK YOU AND BLESS YOU FOR YOUR CONTINUED SUPPORT!!!!!
Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life....
Current mood: I dunno.....
Please watch the above movie. It is from my best friend, Evan Cohen. He made it about me for his film class. I've now known Evan twenty years...since he was just a punk kid! I think the film couldn't be nicer, sweeter, or more true. Evan is a great filmmaker (and musician and writer, too!) and I am glad he has and will continue to be in my life.
In the film I talk about "quality vs. quantity". But in order to have "quality", I still need to raise money to live and pay doctors to keep me alive as long as I can. Other therapies I am trying are great..but they aren't keeping me alive. And I am trying everything else I can....but there is only so much energy I have. I continue to appreciate your continued support - or your support now!!!
I will struggle to live as long as I can. Not really for me...although in my head, I wish I could make myself think that. I need to take care of Scooter The Therapy Dog, and more importantly, continue to hammer out the truth about what is going on here. With help from Monica at the Whirlwind Coalition, which we both hope to make a nonprofit to help others in the same situation, I feel there is still tons more that needs to be done before I go whistling off into the distance.
Bless you Evan, for making this film!
Please repost it everywhere. Blogs, news channels who want stories, your own websites and webpages, and please send it to your friends and enemies, too. Once people really know the scope of this disaster, the government might stop lying, and start helping those brave men and women who gave all to save us all
And pigs might fly.
It would take a miracle for that to happen. But I've seen plenty of them lately!!!
Sorry for the long space between updates. It's been a rough time lately, but all your donations have off-set that and I can't thank you enough!!!
Anyway, I've now been diagnosed with "Chron's Disease". It's nasty, others have it, and you can look it up It's very painful...and usually runs in families. Of course, like Poly Cystic Kidney Disease (PKD), my family doesn't have that, either. Chron's also comes from living near or being exposed to highly industrialized pollution. Gee, I wonder if I've ever been near that?
So they prescribed me meds that are $250 a month WITH insurance. Ha! I have yet to try them because my doctors fear they'll kill my kidneys. A nice catch 22. But it will all be sorted out and I'll live with this as well. What PISSES ME OFF is that yesterday I met a woman, five years older than me, who also has it, She was diagnosed with it in 2005. She lived and volunteered in around ground zero like myself. Her doctors couldn't tell her were it came from. What else is new? It doesn't run in her family, either. The zinger is her daughter DIED of lymphoma recently. She fought to claim it was from 9/11 and they shot that down as well.
There is an ugly pattern going on here, folks. I now know the diseases I'm getting (auto immune - cause my immune system is shot to shit) are hitting lots of folks. They are painful and absolutely DEADLY. Hell, turns out I have diverticulitus again as well. When will our government admit they fucked up. We know they've been lying all along..but until we get some truth, and then help, we are all drowning.
Please donate to me whatever you can. I'm having trouble keeping up with my insurance payments.....and if that goes, I am really dead. Period. My insurance is sky high cause, well, duh! I could not have even had a Chron's test if I was on Medicaid. They don't do "research or unknown" tests. It's all a mess.
Please do what you can. Donate, spread the word, and help me and Monica fight the good fight that it seems others are afraid to do. Sure others can sue in huge lawsuits and sit back while they die...but not me. As long as I can speak out and fight this terrible injustice, that's what I'm gonna do. I know some others who are about to follow my lead. Bless them and BLESS you!!
Sorry to be outta touch again. It's been a weird time.
First of all, THANK YOU for all you have done. Because of all your help I was able have a surgical procedure done last week and also have a couple of biopsies taken. I hope to know the results soon. But if this would not have happened without YOUR help. Bless you all. And I can't stress that enough. Medicaid would not have done any of this. They only treat you when they KNOW what's wrong. Now I can have tests to to find out more and more what is going on. And that is all because of your kind donations. Keep them coming and know you are saving my life. And I mean this with all of my heart and mind.........
Anyway, so the day after the colonoscopy, actually, night after, I suddenly feel like I'm going to faint. The room is spinning around very fast and I feel my blood pressure go through the roof. "Here it is," I thought to myself, "the stroke I knew was going to happen". Thank God for my friend Evan, and thank God for my friend Monica. Both of whom were able to get me to the hospital.
So after another day and/or night spent in the HOSPITAL E.R. it is determined I have, wait for it, VERTIGO!!!
Seems it doesn't really involve men with guns on staircases or falling from your high chair. It's like an infection or something. Yay! A new condition! Woo Hoo! Anyway, I talked to some other friends who are sick from 9/11 and they have it too. So there you go. Something else the government won't talk about. Something that is really debilitating when it strikes and is awful. Thanks for lying, EPA. And yes, I know you were under orders from the White House.
The Germans also followed orders....
Lesson Learned:
I don't care what the government says about things these days, it's what they do. If they could be one one thousandth as kind as my friends are to me, this country would be the best place in the universe.
SEEING THE CLOUDS THROUGH THE RAINBOW.
Current mood: contemplative
Ya know....
I learned a HUGE lesson last night Actually, this morning One that I've always known, but like the ruby slippers on Dorothy, I keep forgetting because it's in such plain sight. Something depressing yet wonderful. Painful yet makes my heart cry out with joy.
Yesterday afternoon I went to see a new gastro doctor (thanks to all your help). From the minute he walked into his office late, saying he was late because of an emergency at the hospital, I could tell he was cool and kind. I was his first patient, and when he called me in he said, "lay it on me, brother". Confused, cause all of this is such a mess, I didn't know where to start. The Poly cystic Kidney disease, the painful hernias, the blood loss. the fact that I'm bloated like a beach ball and that that ball hurts to any kind of touch. Everything. So I just said, "have a look". Now, here's the neat part, he takes a look and immediately says, "go to the ER". Finally, a doctor who isn't fucking around with appointments for things that may or may not be needed, and someone who is not going to make me wait through all this pain as I have now for many many months. Just one look and he's like, "this guy needs some serious attention".
As I leave his office and make my way to the ER, I get really depressed. I figure if they want to do another surgery on me right now I couldn't take it. I'm too tired. Tired of being sick. Tired of fighting. And for what? I'm alone, have no kids, and hardly see my friends because I've become a shut-in. I'm so humiliated with all this bowel trouble and other things too embarrassing to talk about, I've become a hermit. I love my friends to death, but don't want to see the pain on their face when they see me. I don't want them to feel bad about me. I want them to celebrate their lives, and be happy. And I would just bring them down. I know this. I see it in their eyes. And I'm not a "misery loves company" kinda guy. I pray, pray no one has to go through anything like I'm going through. I want my friends and fellow human beings to laugh, have fun, and enjoy life. Nothing like being reminded of the dark side like a friend who is rolling down hill quicker and quicker. Which is also why I hate to ask for money on the internet, but have to to survive. I don't want to remind anyone of any of this. And the people who give are so kind...and they ARE my friends, and I'm hurting them.
Anyway, I get to the ER, have to wait hours to get in because it's jammed up with people who are stupid. I mean, like stupid stupid. People who took all their pills to get high. People who have had triple bypass surgery and are still smoking and drinking, and wonder why they feel dizzy. Cranky old men who get a thrill showing off their genitals to the nurses. Sick fuckers. And I'm in there with them. I'm also with kind people in my position, who are there because their illness has gotten too bad to take care of at home. Or yet another organ has failed. Like that. Humble and nice people. Who have to be around the ignorant jerks who insist on making our lives, and especially the underpaid nurses and doctor's lives horrible as well.
So before I get a cat scan they need to do an anal probe only there is no private room so they HAVE to do it in front of a whole mess of others. And as the kind doctor is doing it, I can feel he is humiliated as I am...but what can we do? I feel like a diseased piece of meat, slowly rotting away. A carcass of what was once me. And I feel like dying. It just isn't worth it anymore. Sure my friends will miss me, as will many others, but they all have one another and they'll survive. And this fucking PAIN will end. And I won't feel like a burden on anyone or anything....and this cage I call my body will finally be unlocked.
After the cat scan, and learning that my lymph nodes down their are way too big, and I'm gonna need a lot more "procedures" to figure out what's what, I go home. On the way, I'm thinking about why not just jump in front of a bus or something. Get it over with quick, instead of this decade of decay. By the time I reach my front door, tears are rolling down my cheek.
As I enter the apartment, the kitchen and hallway light are still on, just the way I left them like 18 hours earlier. Suddenly, out of the bedroom rushes my Yorkie, Scooter, wagging his tail, and sneezing with excitement. His tail is actually wagging the dog, as he can't stop going in circles.
And suddenly, I forget I'm a piece of e-coli infested beef. I forget about the burden I put on my friends, and forget the financial drain I've been to so many, and whom I still need to continue to survive. Suddenly I'm Scooter's dad. And nothing else matters. And as I pick him up and he licks the tears off of my cheeks, I remember that as long as you have just one person (even a dog) who really loves you, you'll never be lost. That there is no place like home.
I did a pod-cast radio interview thing his past weekend and want as many people as I can get to listen to it. It was done by a swell guy by the name of Kris, who is friends with my pals over at WTC SICK. Kris is a swell guy and is funny like a left-wing Rush Limbaugh!
The show is called "The American Smartass" and can be found for FREE at all these locations:
You can hear it with all sorts of applications and all that. In the interview I say lots of stuff I’ve been holding back on.....for reasons you’ll hear! Anyway, give it a listen, shoot me an email, and let me know what you think! Also, any donation would greatly be appreciated - cause as you can hear, I’m kinda drowning in quicksand over here and it sucks.
God Bless all of you and Thank You for your continued support. And to those of you who feel you must send me hate mail telling me I’m a "beggar" and to "go on welfare" - listen to the pod-cast. It kills me I have to do this, but I really have no choice. Except for pushing daises, that is. And fuck that. I’m gonna fight these battles until we all, as Americans, win this war.
Love, George
Currently
listening
:
Four on the Floor
By
Jukebox Zeros
Release date: 24 January, 2006
New Bulletin!!
Current mood: determined
Category: Life
Hi! Posting this here because I'm not sure the bulletin board is working! Anyway, God Bless!!!
Hey Everyone!
Here is a clip from my friend Giorgio's television show about me and 9/11. I say some stuff I've never said in public before. So please check it out. It's kinda scary, so I'm warning you....but it's stuff you'll need to know. Especially if you are gonna vote. (Oh, I did this interview when the ghoul was still in the running) You'll see...
Also, Monica's friend Jason did a really neat article for Harp Magazine:
Click HERE to read it if the type is too small!! Well done!!!! Yay!!!
He also interviewed me for his blog HERE! It's kinda depressing..but..oh well.
Anyway, been having a tough time getting healthy and still need your help! So, please, donate what you can! I can really use the money for tests, biopsies, and operations. It's getting to THAT point. Also check out The Tribute Record and cool t-shirts!!!!
I'm still hanging in there and fighting this, and hate to still ask for help....and when I get better, I wanna pay EVERYONE back, no matter what you say!!! Oh, and our voices are being heard...and hopefully - things will change for us all!!!
Love, George
Currently
watching
:
Innocent Blood Release date: 01 June, 2004
anxious
froggy
accomplished
bitchy
hopeful
contemplative
focused
determined
