New Subject, Old Complaints.

Feigning awareness and spiraling toward ignorance may in fact be the drawbacks to living in Atlantis today.
Once we were Ireland before the advent of alcohol.
Once we were smiling, before we noticed our own crooked teeth.
But Dear, even though I've long known about your imperfect smile,
It has remained perfect in my mind's eye.
Because even though I see it for all of the malformations,
I also hear all of the sweetest accidental musings.
Whose breath must quietly brush the back of your teeth
Before tumbling out into my eager awaiting ears.
And yes, please let me decipher the meaning behind your inconsistent emotions.
As long as it's only words that I want to know.
Please forgive my transgressions and I'll prove by tomorrow that I've learned from my mistakes.
I've learned that your vernacular doesn't contain the phrase that I most want
to hear this moment.
I now know that your lexicon doesn't forgive because it means that you may have to act upon it.
Your fingers don't move slowly, you've just got more important shit to do.
Than repyling to my incessant compliments, that you never even believe to be true.
Maybe I'm the nicest guy on Earth, but you make it a title that's so easy to live up to.
If there's a limit to the good will that one person can receive,
Let me max out your card.
And I feel so lame for venting right now, when my kettle isn't even full of tea.
I wish I had the words to make you want to be in my arms right now.
I guess it's time for a serious discussion.
I guess it's time to grow up.
I guess it's time to live.
I guess it's time to watch myself die whilst I enjoy the view from this out of body experience.
And I always wonder which form my yearning will next take.
And now I know that heartbreak feels like
Looking over and being surprised at having an empty passenger seat.

1:00 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

NowayJose!

I heard the blaring of my neighbor's television.
Or maybe it was just his wife.
I left the holding cell for my contemplations
And entered into a realm all my own.
I took it from you one last time
And then threw it out the window.
I need to stay in this chamber surrounded by noises
To drown out the sound of too many thoughts in my head.
Do you kiss my cheek in betrayal or in good faith?
And do you trust me when I say that all of these lies might be the truth?
So Judas, let's take a walk to where the wild things are,
But make sure you avoid the tree.
The tree with the branch that is three feet over your neck.
Just far enough to break your fall.
Or at least your vertebrae.
You know I could be the one that catches you when you jump.
But I left my mitt at home.
So goodbye dear,
And don't forget to play well.
And don't forget to play hard,
So that when your ear touches pillow you'll already hear the sounds of your dreams.
You wear that shirt all the time.

11:59 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Best Friends

That's the most Catholic Cleavage that'll ever leave the sanctity of your holy home.
Accentuate the ugliest facets of my personality
And make them apparent in everything that I am.
All of these models have your ugly face a different shape and I'm not sure which lips to expect to blow the roof off of my home.
Which Witch is Which.
I know you can't tell the differences in the doublets
And the picture is fading from my screen.
Every time I close my eyes I see static.
Like snow on your archaic tube.
Never before has it hurt to breathe.

Now lay me down to sleep.
Next to a super freak.
I'll wake up to you in the morning and maybe these tears will no longer reside in my eyes.
It's been five hours and I think I need more pills.

3:34 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Expanse of time minus amount of love.

In four months.
You'll be in college far away.
And I won't ever have you back.
This inspiration strikes so true at the heart.
So near and so dear that I can feel these seams shredding
Or at least starting to tear up.
You are my heart,
And now it seems that my blood is forced to pump through an abyss.
Through a black hole that slowly and surely sucks the warmth right out of me.


If You Would. If You Could:
I would be
If it wasn't from me that you've become disassociated.
Thank you for giving me what I thought was unattainable.
But I guess it's best that it's been quickly taken away.
And I've got an affinity for the letter You.
I never knew that the alphabet could stretch the expanse of this sky
That remains in plain sight behind the lines that you've written
And safely tucked away beyond the bars that you've imprisoned yourself in.
I wish I had the dynamite to break you out.
I wish I had the words to cause explosions of epiphany in people's minds.
The very same explosions which shall shower the sparks and shatter the metal.
Compromise the core that you thought would keep you safe.
Burst the bubble that was supposed to be protecting you
But is only creating a girl who can not protect herself.
Don't shoot the shotgun, Dig the well.
I dig the well.
I wish I could join their ranks.

4:37 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Clouds

The clouds were like some small screen landscape
Made just for your VCR.
Painted by a novice
Who is much more interested in color than content.
It seems as if this painting is destined for the ink blot test of insanity.
With a purple swash for the rolling plains that wrap around the whole sky
And a gigantic white mountain bursting forth from behind constructed scenery.
I can visualize the line of a faint fault ripping a rift in my beautiful purple plains.
The clouds were like the face of a mutant during that fateful expanse of time.
With purple skin stretched so tightly over cheekbones like shoulder blades,
that the snaggletoothed smile emanating from this face was overscored by the lack of symmetry in your eyes.
With a tuft of hair from nowhere that added a comedic affect to your death at the hands of this monster.
The clouds were like the explosion of a nuclear missile.
With the white rippling of smoke your last warning before the apocalypse descends upon your now unseeing eyes.
I wish I could've heard the boom but it was too late.
For the rushing air sent out from ground zero had done away with my eardrums far before any wave of sound could once more cause their pulsation.
I'm sorry for all of my thinly veiled criticisms
And for getting upset about what I can not change.
And I said in such a grim way,
I'm sorry I spent an eternity feigning lethargy
When in truth,
I was but afraid to speak.
Your cough sounds like the metal of a saw working against the grain of steel.
Repeatedly repeating.
"Discontinuity might actually be worse than never feeling the rapture at commencement."

4:16 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

PrankCalls

The binding of this bodysuit is sewn about a million stitches too tightly.
I didn't think I'd ever feel my eyeballs leaving my skull.
Let's regress to the remedial and forever stay back at the basics
The complex is deeper than the lifeguard allows me to stray.
Because, today, I learned that I have trouble in dealing with intangibles.
Maybe I'm just scared to make a commitment to my heart.
Who I didn't even know had a brain.
All of this wishful thinking has me awestruck at the power of my own mind to fabricate.
Let's become the winners of some amazing rat race to the end of time.
I guess there's no turning back once one crosses the finish line.
I feel as much as will fill my heart with hype.
The hype that is hyperbolized because of the commitment that my heart signed itself away on.
Where did my arteries and ventricles get hands, thumbs, or even pens?
Now I've synthesized all of the rumors to create in my mind what I believe you to be.
Don't be surprised at my surprise when I find out what lays beyond your eyes or stays tucked away beneath your white bone ribs.
Because it's nothing like what I expected at all.
I didn't even know I could have perfect cubed.
And if there really is an invisible thread that binds together the hearts of lovers
I hope that my string doesn't end up with any loose ends.
Let me anchor my love boat to your dock?
So, as we tumble onward toward what will seem like destiny when you gaze back,
I learn about your favorite everything.
And I know now that I have a favorite everything too.
It's you.

Omittttt:
I guess it's not just that I don't comprehend what they mean,
Because I can give you the definition of love and hope, and even feeling for that matter.
What I can't wrap my mind around is what each is supposed to feel like.
To the noses of all that might be on a search.
A stab in the dark and I didn't know that blood could glow.
This ominous hue that makes itself known in the night
This taste of copper.
When did you start biting your lip?
I feign at acceptance of the truth.
Let's meet our makers.
Hello Mom and Dad.

4:27 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Hatahade?

My soul has grown tired very recently.
And I don't really know what it means.
I try to be the most understanding that anyone could be.
But somehow I just don't comprehend.
There's been so many recent situations that I just didn't have the words to fix.
And this anomaly is weighing heavily upon my chest.
Maybe my power loss is from doing so much searching
Like a phone in the desert.
Maybe all of this cost and burden is placed only on my bill.
Like a phone on the roam.
I realized today how tired I am.
But it seems that I also realized how tired of me you've become.
And maybe it really is no fault of my own
But the idea was like a jab that connected to the self-esteem
And the market is saying to sell my stock now.
Before the bubble bursts.
But it's too late because I've popped.
This poem is weak.
I'm sorry words for all the trouble I've caused you
And all of the abuse I've subjected you to.
I hope you can forgive me for your misuse.
I realized tonight that giving you a hard time about it,
Is my way of coping with the fact that it bothers me.
And I wish I could honestly say none of it did.
But I promise that I don't expect you to quit.
Because once I realize that nothing adverse occurs when I'm not in attendence
I'm positive this endeavour will become a walk upon pastry.
I can barely read through tears.
MeOdias.

3:57 PM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Every Day Son.

You broke in through my ribs and proceeded to pull my heart right through my chest.
That was a week ago today.
The day that i learned i was a hemophiliac.
And no.
I have yet to cease the bleeding that your words began.
Your words which are like knives in my chest.
Which are like careless tosses at the bull's eye whose center lays at my core.
You said over and over again that you had learned your lesson,
But I didn't come ready or willing to teach.
And I don't even think we were prepared for this tragedy in the syllabus.
I don't believe I possess the antidote to your poison Juliet.
And I didn't realize that you'd take me so literally when I told you that chivalry was dead.
But I guess I didn't realize that I was speaking the truth.
I was also never made aware of the passing of honesty and honor.
So I guess that's a few funerals that I'll be bound to miss.
Even though I won't be missed during the eulogy,
And I don't think the deceased would miss my blue eyes boring into the polished wood of their now eternal bed.
Their resting place that was proclaimed a neccesity by Dr. Acula.
Their resting place that was deemed doomed to a cave-in of the most epic proportions.
And I think I'm getting carpal tunnel from all of the meticulous trials that I subject my fingers to.
And every strenuous grain of sand that forces itself though an opening designed to measure the hour
Has the clock adjusting it's tiny red arm
And every measurable moment that you spend away
Has my heart filling, not with blood, but with an unequitable amount of longing.
Which, up until a few days ago, I didn't even know was a substance in this dimension.
so let's travel through time, space, and every other universe.
All it takes is a will, and a firm grip on my hand as we walk.
I guess once you left I realized that I had never actually been in a spaceship,
I only happen to behold stars when I'm with you.
And when we're journeying, whether it be down the block, or miles away,
I get lost in the transistion,
In the immeasurable beauty that I see everytime I look over my right shoulder
And suddenly we've arrived.
I never ever ever wanted those trips to end,
But they always seemed as abrupt as is enough to leave me pleading for just Countless more chances to hold you.
Countless more chances to explore the outer reaches of my universe.
Countless more chances to climb aboard with you as the captain.
With you in charge of the controls and me your first, your only, mate on this journey.
It's been sixteen days since I left this planet.
But you retired after only two weeks.
310 short of me taking off every single day.
So for these past 48 hours I've been plotting and scheming at a way to coax you back into your spacesuit.
But so far, even though my file cabinets are full, the only company that will ship to me is Acme.
So Roadrunner can you please just let Wil E. Coyote catch you this once?
All he desires is a companion.
But, you're right, if somehow you failed to elude my grasp I would never know what to do with you.
So for now I'm sure you'll stay on the run while I suspend my animation in the air just off the edge of a cliff for as long as I can.
Because, Darling, I fear the fall.

2:55 AM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Nostradam us.

Watch your face in the mirror
As it transmorgifies into something terrifying.
And how is terrifying even spelled?
Get off my back monkey.
Get off of my shoulder you chip the size of The Rushmore Four.
And if you look into the mirror and what you see is disgusting
Then, Darling, just clear the sludge and horror will be replaced with the warm glow of your smile.
The warm flow of breath from your mouth whilst you speak
And the warm blow of these newest words that you've attained for the sole purpose of putting a dent in my soul.
And as my soles wear down so too does the soul that I believe resides in some cavernous crevice or crevace hidden somewhere dark underneath my skin.
I miss having a reason to wake up with sleep still lingering in my eyes.
I miss having a reason to nap in the middle of the night while you are busy with your own reindeer games.
And I'm prognosticating downfall of the most imminent kind.
And I'm predicting failure, of the most intimate kind
So please, please, please, prove me wrong and show me that, though Rome wasn't built in a day, the foundation was layed within a day.
That, even though some buildings are destined to crumble and some bridges destined to burn to no more than piles and piles of ash,
The city doesn't have to shut down.
The town doesn't have to draw curtains at one single breach in plan or contract.
At one single miscue in the entire symphony.
I don't know of anything that can be perfect when one searches for, seeks out, mistakes.
But if one looks for the good, then it will for sure be found.
But it's hard to find when you can't even kick off from the bottom of your eventual grave to begin your search.
And my ankles are flailing, but I guess I just haven't sunk quite far enough.
And even though there's far more room to fall, my air supply is out.
Because I wasted the last of my breath in pleading for you to never shove me into this pool.
But just when I got my towel on to dry myself off, you heaved
And I felt my chest hold.
All of the water that I inhaled when I screamed out in surprise at this attack aimed straight towards the heart.
But somehow the piercing arrow must have been shot from Cupid's own bow
Because I can't bring myself to be upset.
And know, that even though I stay submerged for now, when I am rescued,
And you pull me out of this well.
I'll regurgitate all of my assailants who attempted to choke me to death.
And each drop will die as it sinks in to the Earth to become a part of something more than itsself alone.
So even though my hair is wet right this instant
Don't forget that you have the power to keep it dry henceforth.
I'll talk to you later.
Forreal? Fer real? Frreal? For. Real.

3:36 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Weezy F. We Be The Best?

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone.
And she's always gone far too long.
But I learned that.
The air around you seems so much colder when you know that this eclipse is eternal.
No longer a fixation, while the moon cuts in on the tango that the sun has been leading for eternity,
But a horrifying reality only realized when the sun never returns to cradle it's forlorn lover.
Never returns to once again warm the flesh and souls of the denizens of the Earth who are like feelings inside this great corpse that my brain continues to animate, continuously.
And we've got a collective weight on our chest that the power of words just can't seem to lift,
Can't even seem to fucking budge just one single inch
Oh, please, just give me an inch and I swear you won't be missing the mile that I solemnly steal.
The mile that somehow fits in my pocket while we all rise and place our left hands beneath our souls to pledge our obediance to an inanimate object that I'm pretty sure wouldn't give a damn about the snickers coming from the back of the classroom.
The guffaws released not by the spine but by the appendix.
The most vestigial kids, who somehow remain lymphatic.
And I feel like I'd die without my backbone safely connected to the fibrous muscles stretched like canvas across my bare back.
The bulbs of bone that always must make an appearance,
These bumps that protrude as if to simply proclaim that they're there.
And all of these spines must be theirs.
I noticed today that so many lips once ceaselessly open in my presence
Remained carelessly closed, shut and locked tight with the key forever misplaced, after a hiatus of less than one hundred days.
And so many people didn't miss the sound of my voice,
Didn't miss the ceaseless flowing of syllables from my mouth like a rapidless river,
No stutters or stumbles or accidental oops',
Didn't miss a single utterance.
I don't blame them.
Not even a little bit.
Because I speak too much without first being spoken to,
And when I'm seen it seems that I am also always heard,
And I don't shutup at first pleading, and if you don't shout I'll still be talking at last call.
And don't be surprised that I reduce, reuse, and recycle every old cliche you've ever heard.
Hell, I'll even steal adages if I feel like it won't impede flow
Because sometimes the truth is like a dam to beauty and it's just not natural to quiet the roar of it's flow everytime you turn on your voice,
Or I turn on my eyes to witness you.
So sometimes the beauty doesn't show through.
And that's when, my only option is to be speaking the truth.

4:58 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment