I’ll see you soon
Current mood: Other

Or maybe nobody will.

Statistics give us ALL the edge.

Currently listening : Zongamin By Zongamin Release date: 22 April, 2003

5:06 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Home Recipes For the Emotionally Crippled!

Have your ex girlfriend come to your work before you arrive. Yes, the one that jilted you when you were getting over your fathers death.
Have a couple of drinks after an ugly choking strangle of a day.
Get a pair of safety scissors.
Cut your fucking hair.

Currently listening : Mr. Beast By Mogwai Release date: 07 March, 2006

5:48 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Emotionally Disarming Bluntness

As the subject line suggests, I had an exceptionally strange experience today.

I was bringing in some of the furniture from the patio out front of work, and a woman who in the past has been a regular customer there (although, not all there if you get my drift) walked up to say hello while I was doing all this.
I politely cut a short greeting off the end of my tongue, and before saying any acknowledgement of it, or me, she moved in REAL close like and put the back of her hand on my forehead.
"You poor dear," she said.

It utterly disarmed me and I nearly dropped the sun umbrella I was hauling inside.

Before she could say anything else, someone tapped her on the back and got her attention. When she turned back round to me several seconds later, the only thing she asked me was if she could sit down in a chair outside for two minutes.
I acceded, citing that two minutes would likely be all because I had to bring them in and lock up.

fucking weird.

Currently listening : Black Sheep Boy By Okkervil River Release date: 05 April, 2005

1:47 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Whoa nelly.
Current mood: occluded

I haven't really been doing anything with myself at all lately, apart from reading, curling up in bed, watching news programs, writing creatively, writing music and getting LOTS of sleep.

As a result, there's not a whole lot of salacious and incredible things for me to share lately.  There are a couple of odd realizations I've made about my current situation, and find it oddly difficult to write about.  I find I've been able to converse with people over these matters with a lubricated ease, but are far too weighty (and indeed often provoke dialogical reactions from those offering advice, requiring clarification, or people who just like to make random noises at seemingly innocuous moments in conversation) to be included in any way that would do it justice in a blog.

Suffice to say, I've been having some real difficulty being hit on.  At all.  But the books are good.

Currently listening : Down with the Scene By Kid606 Release date: 20 June, 2000

1:17 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Guttersnipes! Your time has come!

I think reading finnegan's wake has messed with my brain, at least in its capacity to read.
In the past week, I have read two pulpy crime novels and started to read Naked Lunch, which actually is making a great deal more sense than I thought it would.
I suppose though that preceding it with "the most difficult book to read in the english language" (though frankly, I debate calling the wake written in "the english language." It seems as though it's more written in a pantomime version of the english language where the dame is played by the love child of latin and irish.) was perhaps the right thing to do after all.
That's how I spent the entirety of my evening last night actually... reading. I read when I got home, logged on to write a small journal entry, and then crawled into bed to read. I practically managed Dearly Devoted Dexter cover to cover (save the first forty or so pages) yesterday. That made my evening worth little note.
It seems odd though that my entire day today is worth even less. It all cowered under the giant tarp of "uneventful" during the outdoor music festival rainstorm that was my day.
Yes, the representations of my days of late, though without provocation are generally falling into the categorization of "stormy" and/or "troubled." The people I have patience to deal with in a friendly and accomodating manner is slowly thinning down. I envision a thriving society of very small people living on the sharp edges of a bright and somewhat flashy set of garden shears that day by day grinds closer to "the snipping." Resultantly, I find that when I arrive home I am mostly in a bitch awful mood, not really enjoying the prospect of talking to anyone at all, and just waiting for the next activity to start which distracts me from the strangled rut I've been tethered to.
These include:
New Musics, concerts (going to see Peeping Tom w/ Pigeon John on Sunday), Twin Peaks season 2, Green Wing season 2, training of course, reading and crushing the hopes and dreams of all those around me.
-----
Sugary Cute Alert:
My co-workers soon to be thirteen year old son is doing a jump-rope-for-heart-disease-and-people-who-hate-pickles charity pledge... uh... skip, and their teacher, who is organizing the event, has asked them all to wear a little cutout heart with the name of someone they know who suffers from either an intense dislike of pickles or heart problems. As they came up with the sole grandparent in their family that suffers some form of angina (AND an irrational fear of pickles) he asked if there was anyone else. The conversation was relayed to me as follows, with the son speaking first:
"Well what about Johnny?"
"Johnny doesn't have any heart problems sweetie."
"Well... He's got a broken heart."
KABLAMMO! That's just about the cutest thing ever. Particularly because I haven't exactly been forthcoming with this young man to the real extent of the emotional baggage I'm currently trying to sort through.

My friend Matthew tries to convince me that it will all go away if I join the BCIT broadcasting class for radio. I am considering it, as he is wise beyond his years (but really only by several days or so).
...
Have you guys heard about this thing in Britain, where teachers are dropping the Holocaust study from history lessons because they're afraid how Muslims would react to it?
... Does that make *any* sense at all?
See here in the daily mail

Currently listening : Blinking Lights and Other Revelations By Eels Release date: 26 April, 2005

11:04 PM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

The Organic Chemistry and The Sun Orbiting the Earth

Have been particularly obsessed with two things of late.

1) How odd and incomprehensible it is that at the smallest of levels, everything is made of the same things, and how anomalous it is that we appear so disconnected from it all in terms of our capacity for operation.

2) How it appears that so many advances and conveniences our society provides are mostly designed entirely by people that either chose to live outside it or were shunned from it and how dissonant it is to see maverick ideas to be socially acceptable, and indeed even necessary. A society created by culture, ruled by those who rely on instinct.

That and the Modest Mouse song: Parting of the Sensory
"someday you will die and somehow something's going to steal your carbon"

Edit: Strewth, I almost forgot.  I finished Finnegan's Wake today.  The sense of accomplishment was mitigated by a rather horrible realization incurred by the subject matter of the last five pages.  It made the rest of my day curmudgeonly.

Currently listening : We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank By Modest Mouse Release date: 20 March, 2007

1:04 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

The Heartbreaking Affairs of my Moistureless Mouth
Current mood: nerdy? - There is a mouthguard

It's an unusual feeling waking up and discovering your mouthguard isn't in.

That statement is going to make a few people assume some things, and they're probably right. I stopped professionally boxing in my sleep when I was sixteen years old, and discovered very soon that I grind my teeth while asleep; all that tension finds itself a place to work out and seeing as how it's been a few years since I took a clutch of hair from someone's head with my bare hands and told them to run for their lives, mine winds up in my jaw at night.
What's weird about it is that you're not actually missing anything, but something isn't quite right. There's a plasticky taste, drymouth, groggy eyes coming to rest on the clock and in the events that it has RECENTLY come unlodged from your chompers and come to rest in an odd place, a strange wet sticky sensation SOMEWHERE on your body.
I think it had something to do with the dream I had last night, which had Eden at Easter dinner with my family, charming them all about stories of her life in the past few months and everybody (despite rather spirited vocal protest from the Johnny section of the table) being quite rapt in her storytelling. My mother even agreed at some point to go visit Eden's niece on Vancouver Island sometimes.
I can see that kind of stimulus causing me to start spitting.
unwitting mouthguard casualties: 1

With twenty pages to go at the end of Finnegan's Wake, I found that I have faltered. I started reading another book a couple of nights ago... Darkly Dreaming Dexter by Jeff Lindsay. Some of you may recognize the name as the inspiration for the Showtime television series "Dexter" starring Michael C. Hall, and you would be right. I've seen the first season of said series and I say unto you...
Oddly, the book doesn't live up to it. The book seems hurriedly written, frequently self indulgent and frankly, not very believeable. I think the television show gains a lot from not always necessarily being able to tell what Dexter is thinking, whereas the book is written in the first person and as a reader I'm always exposed to his monologue. I will finish reading it though, it's rather light.

Lastly, with the burn healed completely, I was at kung fu both wednesday and thursday night this week, working off a lot of latent frustration and time.
There is bruising though.
*checks his Life*
'You've got Bed.'
Ahhhhhhhhhh.

Currently listening : Dreamt for Light Years in the Belly of a Mountain By Sparklehorse Release date: 26 September, 2006

1:45 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

shits, giggles, and jaundice

I had a dream last night about a friend of mine that moved away with his family a couple of years after we graduated from highschool together. I ran into his parents at the grocery store and wondered what they were doing back in town and they confessed to me that they had never moved away and that in fact he had been committed to a mental hospital and had since been lobotomized because he was considered dangerous to himself and those around him. I went to go visit him and it was a very unusually vivid dream.
My day was very usual.
Tom came home after work, as the PC he put together to be the media centre from NCIX is now fully assembled and taking up space on his apartment floor. He's acquiring copies of XP and Vista here as well as some software components to apply when the time is right.
*I* have to get up early tomorrow to get my car off to the audio shop and have my stereo and disabler installed.
So I might go read for a bit or something of the like and slouch off to bed.
This was uninteresting, but I didn't do anything mentally stimulating and I've decided that perhaps TRYING to write every day (even about the ridiculously mundane) might stave off the brain sickness for just a little while longer.
That way when I'm older and doing crazy things, I'll at least have the presence of mind to hear people around me accusing me of being crazy and doing my best to perpetuate this myth while tugging on their strings like some kind of machiavellian puppet master in a wheelchair with an enlarged liver.

Pay attention to me, I listen to tortured emo music.

Currently listening : Absolution By Muse Release date: 23 March, 2004

1:06 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Adenosine!

My Thursday night exploits, I'm sure were the talk of the... fifteen people that were at Richards on Richards to see Jesse Sykes and the Sweet Hereafter (and Jennifer O'Connor hailing all the way from sunny... Brooklyn... as opening act) play.
I'm positive. Fifteen people. No more than twenty. I was two feet from the front of the stage, didn't have to look over anyone, and at no point in time was there any shoulder to shoulder contact with any other concert viewers. There was a spirited bearded fellow who danced for a good deal of the night that patted my behind more than just a couple of times, which was amusing. I got to talk to Phil Wandscher (the solo guitarist, who makes all the really twangy sounds), their drummer Eric and Jesse herself, who got a kiss on the hand.
Friday morning I was woken up SEVERAL times by various telemarketing and survey teams (3 of them specifically, one of them automatic even) and by my friend Dan who asked me if I could help him move, in about two hours. Tired as I was, and with a few things to do, I apologized and told him I'd call him later to see how things were going.
When I finally managed to get up (still very tired, mind you) I went about my tasks for the day which included going over to the car stereo shop to inquire after the replacement of my broken car stereo and prerequisite clearance of an insurance claim, and oddly enough some things that totally elude me, because I remember not coming back home until nearly seven o'clock. I did speak to Dan who was dealing with some difficulties that emerge from the task of having to suddenly move all your things to west van with such short notice.
The rest of the night it seems all blurred into the blesstacrificious sleep I had that night, thanks to the wonderful foresight of turning the ringer on my phone off, for which I suppose I should apologize to Davin because by the time I was awake to get his call, he had already left two messages. It turned out okay though, because we had a really pleasant day of it... a late lunch, a fresh pint of freezing cold guinness, and the sort of amusement one only acquires from those conditions with the addition of an old friend.
The night turned out to be another matter altogether. The phrase "tie one on" seems rather inadequate by itself so I'll modify it to "tie a really big one on." We drank a bottle of wine, a bottle of rum, and a few other things I'm sure whilst keeping ourselves occupied with various other activities.
Sunday, as I'm sure you all know, was the rapture. Anybody still on earth should be made wholly aware of this, as you are all damned for the rest of eternity. I will be leaving the earth in a couple of days. They gave me about half a week to let everybody know what was going down, you know, in case all you do is associate with other sinners and it seemed as though life was proceeding as normal. Well, he came, they left, it's all over people. Good luck.

Currently listening : Neon Bible By Arcade Fire Release date: 06 March, 2007

1:40 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

A Boring Blog for an Eventful Week

First of all, I must say, all those gigantic accolades going around about the new shins album are not undeserved.  I purposefully waited for a while to buy it because I didn't want to be swept up in the ohmygods and I must say, it's brilliant.
Secondly, we have the rather hefty schedule this whole week managed to produce for me.
The last time we spoke, or I spoke and you listened, well, wrote really and you read intently I'm sure was late on Tuesday night, where I laid out a skeleton of a plan of what trials were to come to me in the following days.
My efforts at work were, if nothing else, herculean.  My usual compatriot and sidekick for the working week is a young lady named Jacquie who was suffering a horrendous malady that left her completely out of commission until the thursday (at which point she was still unwell enough to only stay for two and a half hours before I urged to to, I believe "get thee to a nunnery" was what I said exactly, but I might be mistaken) and so I spent more time at work, and mostly all of it either alone or in the company of my boss, which on the ladder of conditions of my life is one step or more below 'alone.'  Apart from those nerve-pinching details the content of my work week was more or less the canned kind you find at the store: so utterly bland and plain.  I will then regale you of tales of my extracurricular activities which involve at least ONE swordfight and the love of a mermaid.
Wednesday night I had a kung fu lesson (well we got the swordfight out of the way quick) and upon my return home received a phone call from my friend Dan, mentioned earlier to a number of you, as being the poor gentleman whose engagement I thought was ideal suddenly exploding in his face resulting in a court appearance, an eviction, and other effects of increasingly dire and somewhat paranoid results.  He and I spent the night together, I mostly playing the role of the sounding board through which many ideas were bounced off of and I can say without a doubt that he is probably the most civilized discussion of contrary philosophical beliefs I have ever had the pleasure of engaging.  My friend Matt might disagree or even be hurt by such a declaration but Matt and I seem to share most philosophical views and as a result our discussions range more in the area of "verbose agreements."  I did not return until four in the morning, and was appalled to learn that the jukebox in the Denny's in Langley has disappeared with nary a baby beluga to be seen, deep blue sea or not.
Thursday night I spent in the company of my good friend Adam, who after a hearty days work at the local hobby store, we retired to my lounge with a couple of tall frosty pints of Kilkenny cream ale to elicit from us involved conversation followed by a chaser of Digital Versatile Disc watching, as there is much Penn & Teller's Bullshit we had yet to work our way through.  I called it an early night though, as I had to get up early the morning on...
Friday in order to make sure I ate properly before heading off to the local blood donor clinic.  I could never donate blood when I was a younger man, as slight bodies run in the family, none of the youngers in my family (or indeed even my mother) ever weighed enough to have it drained out of us.  Ever since I started kung fu and promptly put on what is now a total of fifty pounds (I was six feet tall and only one hundred and ten pounds until I was about twenty three) I had always meant to go give blood, and I decided to go ahead and get it done with.  Still a little nervous, with this feeling that I still didn't weigh quite enough, and that I would perhaps shrivel up and die when they stuck the needle in me, I did spurt a little.  I think perhaps the nurse was hitting on me too, as she kept trying to get me to come out to see a music event a friend of hers was arranging at Richard's on Richards that night (with tvheartattack and The Sessions playing), but as I was already being drained of what they describe as "A Unit" of blood out my arm and dinner plans with Lindsay in the evening hovering over my head, I politely declined.
Gaunt and tired, I holed up on the couch for most of the rest of the day and watched a rented copy of "For Your Consideration" which was good for a laugh.  Dinner with Lindsay was fun, and it wasn't too long before I was back home and just about collapsed on the bed where I slept the greatest sleep of my life for at least twelve hours.
When I woke, I puttered about getting ready to go downtown to the TV on the Radio concert... which I did.  I assumed there would be somebody there I knew, and was apparently false in that assumption.  I did meet a nice girl named Adrian though, who was also there by herself, and oddly enough was also at the subtle show I went to go see at Richard's on Richards in January.  The Commodore, thankfully, finally figured it out and managed to get a stout on tap at their bar and I had a couple of glasses of that, getting up front for subtle and just wandering around for TV on the Radio and it wasn't long before I had to call it quits.
Sunday night dinner with the family, and exhaustion set in.  Taking some time for myself tonight.
... I have to do my taxes soon.

Currently listening : Wincing the Night Away By The Shins Release date: 23 January, 2007

12:30 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment