I fail at life.

I had many things I wanted to do today. I set the alarm for 10 AM (after having gone to bed at 7 AM) and I fully intended on: hitting the post office, getting some paperwork from the courthouse, having my car checked out at the garage, and taking Boo Bear to the library. Except I slept until 5 PM. Shit. And it was the least restful sleep you can imagine. Fitful, tossing and turning, waking every half an hour, except never knowing if I was awake or asleep. I'm thinking that there is something wrong with me. Well, more than regular wrong with me stuff.

Then there is my back. For the past few weeks my hip has hurt, and walking has been a little uncomfortable. At some point this morning I got up to use the bathroom, and I could barely move. Bending at the waist was out of the question, and walking was excruciating. I changed to a thinner pillow, thinking maybe my neck was just out of whack with my spine. When I finally got out of bed for good, it was better...but still worse than yesterday. After walking around with BB today it loosened up some, but there is still something funky going on. Don't ever get old, is my advice to you young 'uns.

Speaking of Boo Bear, we did get to the library, because thankfully their summer hours are until 9 PM on Mondays. She has read three books so far this summer, and is starting to get into it. We took out two more, and even managed to check out two DVDs that we both can watch (Hook, and the Looney Tunes movie with Brendan Fraser and Jenna Elfman - I liked that movie a lot). Then some dinner, and some mall time to look at kitty cats, and then home for her and home for me. So the day wasn't a total wash.

Some other things:

While at the mall, I did mention to a girl at the Regal that "synopsis" should be "synopses", and can you guess what she said? That's right. She asked me if I was an English teacher. I told her no, that poor grammar just hurts my feelings, and I want my daughter to grow up knowing it was okay to care about her own language.

Also, my review of Halloween went up today at Arrow in the Head, and I GOT AN EMAIL ABOUT IT. From someone I don't know. A NEGATIVE EMAIL. For those of you who don't know, I am strangely excited about negative emails. This is the first acknowledgment of my existence I have gotten from the readers at AITH, and I was all too happy to respond to the gentleman. Turns out, his problem was not so much that I hate the movie (though he likes it) but why in the hell I would review it at all. He thought I was being cheeky, like let me make an impact on the site by being a jerk and giving a bad review to a movie people enjoy. So I just had to settle him out and tell him that I don't choose the movies I review, that they are assigned to me. I was super-sweet about it. But I finally got an email. Yay!

5:24 PM - 5 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

Playing with my Wii.

You can blame Crystal for this blog. And whomever is talking about doing bad things to nice amimals.

So, H, who always buys me much nicer presents than she should or I deserve, got me a Wii balance board for my birthday. The thing is absolutely fabulous. It comes with the Wii Fit game, which measures your BMI and center of balance, and lets you set goals for getting into shape. It has lots of really cool exercises. I'm not so much into the Yoga and strength training stuff, oddly enough, but I think the balance games and aerobic exercises are a hoot. I especially like the hula hoop stuff and walking the tightrope. We also went out that weekend and picked up a used copy of We Ski. We theorized to the clerk, and he agreed, that someone probably bought it, realized that it was stupid to have without the balance board, and returned it. H also brought up with her the ridiculously bad CounterForce. Look in just about any store that sells games, and you will see it on clearance. It is so bad that it is actually kind of fun. You never have any idea what the fuck is going on, you just do your best to shoot at whatever moves :)

I have gotten a few good pieces of advice, and am pretty convinced the problem with my car is a bad wheel bearing on the rear left. It makes sense, if you think about it: I moved the tires around, and had to break the rear tires loose with a mallet before they would come off. So if the bearing was already a little wonky, that must have sent it totally over the edge. I was fully intending to have a garage look at it this week, but ended up opting for getting an opinion from my ex-father-in-law and ran out of time yesterday, and had a serious attack of the lazy, sleep on the couches today. Ugh. Monday for sure, though. If it is the bearing, that is actually a relatively inexpensive job, and I like that. *crosses fingers*

Today BB's mom is picking her up after work to take her to a fireworks display. I hate fireworks, and fuck America anyway, so I'd rather stay at home. I was considering seeing a late matinee of Hancock, but am thinking now that a lot of other people will be thinking that the movie theater will be dead for the holiday, and I'd end up in a full theater. No thanks. I might instead try a super-early matinee tomorrow. Yeah, that's the ticket. I'll just stay home tonight and watch movies and eat junk food.

Hmm...there is something right on the tip of my tongue...having to do with movies...and birthdays...hmm, I wonder? Oh well.

1:14 PM - 10 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment

Here’s a blog. BFD.

I'm just killing time 'til the Boo Bear is fully asleep, and I can shut off her light and peel the book off her face. She also lost a tooth tonight. Figures I only have about three bucks on me. I'd like to drop a five under her pillow, but of the exactly two people I know in Waterbury, neither are get-in-touch-with-able tonight. Figures.

Anyway.

Watched some movies recently. Some good, some not so good. H and I found a nice irony in our viewings of Wanted and Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Meth. We expected nothing from Wanted but some neat action sequences, and, of course, cinematic gold from Indie. We got that, but in the reverse. Wanted is a hardcore badass beat you over the head with your own severed arm movie, and Indie was a laborious, wonky piece of shit. "I never should have doubted you, old friend." What? Get back in the fridge, you geriatric asshole.

Well, actually got in touch with someone. Remains to be seen if she'll help me out.

I also reviewed the unfortunate film The Tattooist for Arrow in the Head. Luckily the next review I post for them will actually be a positive one, so that is good. Considering like 3/4 of the reviews I have done for them have been pans. I really do try to like every movie I see. I really do.

BB's swim practice went really well today. Which is good, because Tuesday's totally didn't. She has four more classes, and hopefully she'll at least be able to float on her back and dunk her head underwater by then. *fingers crossed* Some old guy on a park bench outside the Y was telling me what a good dad I am, I guess because I was out there brushing her post-pool hair. I laid my "hold dads to a higher standard" spiel on him, but I don't think he was vibing on it. He said something about having a granddaughter about BB's size, which doesn't make him any less of a crazy old man, but I guess I should take a compliment where I find it, huh? Brushing hair gets me father of the year. What a fucking twisted culture we live in.

Looks like I might actually be able to drop a fin under the pillow tonight after all. Will miracles never cease?

*this blog has been brought to you by the letter 'bitter old fuck'".

EDIT: Cynicism averted. My friend came out and loaned me the fin. She is my new hero. I asked Boo Bear before bed how much she thought her tooth would fetch on the market, and she said, "Well, it's kinda flat, so maybe a dollar." So she'll be extra-excited in the morning :)

12:53 AM - 10 Comments - 12 Kudos - Add Comment

Work: boo, hiss.

H is in town, and I'm here at work. Talk about sucking. I was too cavalier with my vacation time at the beginning of the year, and am feeling the crunch now. H warned me to use my days judiciously, but of course I didn't listen. So now I have to mete them out wisely so I'll still have something left towards the end of the year, around the holidays. But it's cool, because we will have all day and night Thursday, Friday, and Saturday together, and then the lion's share of Sunday. So if I don't respond to you over the weekend, it's not that I don't like you. Well, I don't, but that's not the reason. This time.

In other news, Boo Bear did super-well at her first swimming lesson, so I am excited to see how she will do at numero dos, tomorrow afternoon. By the end of the four weeks, she will be a fish. And luckily it looks like I won't have to pay the late fee for the soccer camp. Which is good. $25 is not a lot of money, but that doesn't mean I want to wipe
my ass with it, either.

In other other news, the website is making some progress. Angela is doing a lot of hard work, while I am giving her tremendous amounts of moral support. Which is pretty important. I'm just that fucking nice of a guy. Hopefully we can launch some time next month. I'd like to be up and running before Horrorfind.

How's everyone else doing?

10:23 PM - 8 Comments - 18 Kudos - Add Comment

Sandwich artist my ass.

Bullshit artist is more like it.

Look, I know that your life is meaningless. You are an adult, and working at Subway. In the mall. Your life is completely over, and you're drifting through existence like a ghost. But don't you want some pride? Don't you want to be viewed as at least competent enough to make a sandwich? My daughter can make a sandwich, and she's nine. What's your excuse? Or maybe that isn't it. Maybe you're working at Subway not because you are incompetent, though surely you are, but maybe simply because you're a complete and total asshole. Maybe you don't need to be pitied, but need to be taken out back and have daylight put through you. Either way, the next time there are four of you idiots standing around giving each other handjobs, and I am at the counter, waiting, patiently, the only motherfucking customer there, you can take a few minutes out of your busy schedule of catching flies with your mouths to make my motherfucking sandwich. Okay?

5:06 AM - 16 Comments - 16 Kudos - Add Comment

More fun at the toy store.

I snapped this picture the other day, while out shopping for my daughter's sister's birthday:



I think it's funny. Anyone else see the joke?

I snapped this gem at the grocery store yesterday. The car was painted on all four sides with slogans expressing this person's glee at having just graduated high school. I wonder what his/her teachers wrote on their cars:




In other news, I got Boo Bear signed up for swimming lessons. She's a Polliwog! Unfortunately, I overslept on Saturday and we missed signing up for soccer camp. Looks like I'll have to pay the $25 late fee. Suck.

In other other news, I got some good advice at a party yesterday: if I feel the vibrations in my car in the wheel, it is the front brakes. If I feel it in the floor, it is the back. I definitely feel it in the floor. He told me to jack up the car and spin the wheels. If they spin free, it's not the brakes. I spun one rear tire, and it seemed fine. I did the other, and it also seemed fine...at first. But then I detected a slight hesitation, a little thunka-thunka as it went 'round. Hmm. I took the tire off and cleaned both the outside of the drum and the inside of the rim, and I also thought maybe the garage put the lug nuts on too tight when they changed the tire. Maybe not, but we'll see how it drives tonight. I am leaning towards those back brakes needing attention, though. I would love it to be something so simple.

3:48 PM - 20 Comments - 14 Kudos - Add Comment

The review that tried to kill me.

Five Films by Dario Argento: The Anchor Bay Box Set.

It took me forever to write this thing, because I hate Argento and it was a horror-show having to slog through five of his films and all the attendant special features. It was also problematic to condense five films into one review. And I think the fact that it went live less than 24-hours after I posted it says that they were waiting for it, and I am probably not going to be reviewer of the month for June. I guess I'll know how pissed they are if I never receive another package of DVDs :)

In other news, Father's Day was cool, even if a few people whom I never forget blew me off. But my brother and his family came up and we went to Hometown Buffet, and Boo Bear drew me some sweet pictures, so it worked out in the end.

In other other news, and speaking of Boo Bear, she is out of school officially today, and with an almost stellar report card to boot (all A's, except for one C in penmanship). I am also officially a soccer dad. That doesn't start until September, but I am going to try to get her into this really neat summer soccer camp. We are also doing to summer reading program at the library, and I think I'm going to get her into swimming lessons. Which is not to mention a possible martial arts class, and the museums and shit we want to go to. I want to keep the summer popping, yannow?

In final news, Stan Winston died. That sucks. If you don't know that name, YOU suck.

1:01 PM - 16 Comments - 18 Kudos - Add Comment

Need proof of what a sucker I am?

Well, here ya go:

I was at the post office today mailing out some stuff to H, and I noticed an Ipod Nano just sitting all by its lonesome on a counter. I watched people come and go, and still there it sat. Once everyone who was in the building when I first walked in left, I knew it had been forgotten. I scooped it up and thumbed the controls, and it was absolutely in perfect working order. Did I slip it in my pocket and say, "Wow, I've got an Ipod Nano!"? Of course not. I turned it in to the clerk and told him someone forgot it there. Which is why I am always at the bottom of any given ladder: no killing instinct. The clerk's eyes got huge, and he said, "Oh, shit." When we finished my transaction, I told him that if no one claimed it, I would be happy to take it home. He said to give it a week. So this is where we stand: if no one claims it, and if none of the clerks decide to keep it and pretend someone claimed it, then I will have an Ipod Nano.

What do you think will happen?

What would you have done?

In other news, it is another pancreas-explodingly hot day. They let the schools out at noon because of the heat-wave, and Boo Bear and I spent a few hours kicking around the mall and Toys 'R Us, enjoying some free AC. Now I am sitting at home filling my belly with yogurt-covered pretzels, which may or may not be a good idea.

Finally, here is a picture. I warn you in advance, you might pee when you see it. I would love to hear your thoughts on what this looks like to you, because I sure as shit know what it looks like to me :)

1:12 AM - 12 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment

Geek meter.

Okay, so, you are at the movie theater. You see a plastic binder that contains images of the movie posters of all the movies playing, plus a short description. Seems like a pretty good idea, to keep the employees from having to deal with people asking them what the various movies are about all day. The front of the book says "Movie Synopsis".

Does anyone have a problem with that title?

Also, on some of Boo Bear's homework today, there was a graph measuring the intensity of recent earthquakes in California. One of the questions was, "How many points of difference is there between Hector Mine and Loma Pietra?"

Anyone have a problem with that question?

I had a problem with both. Am I just a nitpicking geek?

Also, not only have I slacked in marking my progress in my quest for 100 books in 365 days in blog form, but I noticed last night that I even forgot to add a few to my Shelfari page. The Shelfari page is to keep track on the whole, and the blogs were to keep track of what I read month to month. I have failed at both. And I only just noticed that I can add "date read" information to my entries. Wish I had known that. I have to keep conscientious now and maybe by the beginning of August I will be back on track. Anyway, here is the list since the last time I posted one (in no particular order):

*feel free to skip down past the bold titles*

The Mysterious Flame of Queen Loana by Umberto Eco

The Talisman by Cameron Dokey

Deadly Gamble by Linda Lael Miller

Runny Babbitby by Shel Silverstein

The Talisman by Stephen King, Peter Straub

Go Fish by Mary Stolz

Jarhead : A Marine's Chronicle of the Gulf War and Other Battles by Anthony Swofford

Exit A: A Novel by Anthony Swofford

Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson

Deadly Deceptions by Linda Lael Miller

Brain Droppings by George Carlin

Napalm & Silly Putty by George Carlin

WHEN WILL JESUS BRING THE PORK CHOPS? by George Carlin

Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen

Working on the Edge: Surviving In the World's Most Dangerous Profession: King Crab Fishing on Alaska's High Seas by Spike Walker

The Dispossessed by Ursula K. Le Guin

The Road by Cormac McCarthy

Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal by Christopher Moore

The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck

The Death of the Novel and Other Stories by Ronald Sukenick

No Country for Old Men by Cormac McCarthy

Silence of the Lambs by Thomas Harris

Hannibal: A Novel by Thomas Harris

I believe that brings me up to 42. But I need to be at 50 by the end of June, otherwise known as the middle of the year. *sigh*

In other news, it was literally 100 degrees F in Waterbury today, and I paid $4.33 per gallon at the pumps. *fuck me*

8:08 PM - 15 Comments - 12 Kudos - Add Comment

Here comes the rain again...

...falling on my head like a pain in the ass.

Boo Bear and I went to see Kung Fu Panda today, which was fabulous, and I dropped her off at home early specifically to mow my lawn and work on my car. But no sooner had I gotten into my workin' clothes, discovered that the lawn mower wouldn't start, and gotten my car jacked up and the tire off than the skies opened up with rain and huge, booming thunder. Fucking perfect. It looks like it may have stopped now, but the thunder persists, and everything is all fucking wet anyway, so the day is shot. Motherfucker. But I did stand out in the rain for a little while. I was in my workin' clothes, so no problem-o there, and it has been hot as a hippo's asshole today, so it felt good. Even if it did fucker up my plans.

So I guess I will watch YET ANOTHER shitty fucking Argento movie. *sigh* I hate him so much.

BORING BRAKE STUFF AHEAD

So, I thought the new brake pads were better. Well, they ain't. Quite a bit worse, in fact. As far as I could see before the rain fell, the pads don't seat flush against the back of the caliper, but the ears seat forward against the rests in the front. So it is an either or scenario, which means the pad is floating around while I drive. It has been getting noticeably worse lately. I am at my wit's end. I don't really want to drive it around like this, but I can't afford to have it looked at for a few more weeks. *doubleplussigh*

END OF BORING BRAKE STUFF

Lastly, my local dollar store has the Masters of Horror double-disc soundtrack...for a dollar. Thirty metalicious tracks for one dollar? I said okay. Also, there is a track by Murder by Death, Ula, which is just like you said it would be :)

1:53 AM - 16 Comments - 14 Kudos - Add Comment