2 and counting!
Current mood: thankful

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." ~ Marianne Williamson

Thanks Jess for my new mantra!



Two years ago I walked through that red door and started my journey of self discovery. Wow, looking back it still takes my breath away...did I really do that and on national TV. I did and am so proud of my courage to really examine myself and begin to get rid of the "mask." It's been a continuous journey with a few bumps in the road. Some of the bumps have sent me into a whirlwind of self doubt but eventually I found my footing and like my life coaches told me recovery time will keep getting shorter and shorter. Going on Starting Over wasn't the immediate CURE that I and so many of you thought it would be, but was the the groundwork for the beginning of my process of self discovery.

I recently saw/heard Iyanla speak. The message she conveyed was HONOR YOURSELF...SEE YOURSELF...BE YOURSELF. Ask yourself WHAT DO YOU WANT. So powerful to be in her presence, to hear her words and most important to get my HUG! Nothing like a hug from Momma E...if you ever have the chance to go see Iyanla speak GO..what a wonderful gift you would be giving yourself.

Ok, so what am I up to..I recently took the role as publisher of a publication here in Atlanta and just got my first issue out. It was a lot of work but really enjoyed the whole process of putting it together. I've worked in media for years but never running my own show..scary but fun.

I'm still single and haven't been putting any energy towards that lately but can feel myself getting ready to jump off the mountain again and start putting myself out there. Iyanla's voice in my head..WHAT DO YOU WANT AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO GET IT..is what plays over and over, thank god for that! I still keep up with my SO sisters, some more than others and some not as much as I would like but I'll always have a place in my heart for everyone involved with SO. I'm lucky that Jill's here and love seeing her. We don't live far from each other at all so having support so close has been AMAZING! Niambi was here for a couple of days last week...Jill, myself and my friend Tasha had dinner, laughed about SO and just caught up, good times!

Still making Jewels, I finished my silver fabrication class and LOVED IT! I haven't sold anything in awhile just made a few trinkets for gifts but the last couple of weeks I've been checking out my inventory thinking about what I'm going to work on next.

I really hope all of you are enjoying life, working daily to fill your cup and being kind to yourself. I get asked a lot What's the best thing you learned at the SO house? For me in this moment it's having humanity for myself, to remember to be kind but honest and to have gratitude for the choices I've made... I never want denial to feel that comfortable again so I keep myself in check, I'm in a weekly group with Jess and Jill which has been AMAZING for me to get out of my head and actually speak my thoughts is good. Having this common experience and the same tools allows us to really support each other, so very thankful! Even though we weren't accountability sisters in the SO house, Christie and I never let to much time go by without checking in and Kelly still keeps me rolling..always so much fun to catch up with her. I really miss the camaraderie that we ALL shared, talking late into the night...being silly to let off some steam, getting a hug on a tough day, breaking bread with each other...so many things!

I really wanted to share with you and catch up on my 2 year anniversary of walking through the red door. Can't wait to hear how all of you are doing on your journey!

Peace and Love,
Jodi


Just in case you didn't know....
Denial = Don't Even No I'm Lying

1:47 AM - 20 Comments - 29 Kudos - Add Comment

Bedtime Stories
Current mood: sleepy

It's 2:00 am and I can't sleep so I thought I'd catch up with some old friends! :) Life is good. It's funny I used to say that all the time, "I'm good" but I do really mean it this time. Looking back over 2006 all I can say is WOW. I got home from SO January 12th, so its been over a year of living with new tools. So many new things and just new ways of looking at old ways. Recovery time is getting better but sometimes I wonder, what the hell did I learn..but the lesson always becomes clear. What a beautiful gift. I have to be honest though, I was talking to Iyanla...wishing her a happy new year and telling her that I was ready to close 2006 and start 2007. I've said it before, I felt "shell shocked" last year....I didn't know which way to turn, how to incorporate everything I learned. How to create my vision and set my intentions...coming off the show your on such a europhic high and then coming home to what you left slowly deflated my happy bubble. How to stay true, what to do..how to stay out of my head and be present in the moment.

Here's what I do know...I keep putting one foot in front of the other, when I get down, I allow myself the time to heal and don't beat myself up for it..I don't wallow in it anymore, or at least not for long. I'm being true to my boundaries but when it feels like their made of air I breathe life back into them..I'm still dating and have sought the help of some friends because I've realized that I'm a complete novice with men, at least being just Jodi and not the seductress or the person that I think they want me to be. Even though I've shed some tears, I am so thankful for the experiences because it's showing me how I made some choices in the past that didn't serve me well. That's a beautiful gift to see how some poor choices in the past were made, where I got scared and stopped being vulnerable. I can catch myself now, and am starting to really recognize the signs for me...

Sidenote:
I was on a date last night and had an amazing time, and as we were leaving the restaurant, hugging goodnight and leaning in for an innocent kiss a lady approaches us on the sidewalk and says "hey aren't you the girl from the show." Ok people feel my pain, SO is not a first date conversation, at least not in my book and as a tender moment is about to blossom to have some lady invade it was awkard as hell :)... Hey don't get me wrong, love to meet the fans and supporters of the show but maybe not when I'm with a man on a date that I'm just getting to know...just had to laugh out loud at that one. :)

Changing the subject, I started a metal fabrication class. My first class I made a sterling silver ring...really! I love it..so much creative freedom. I hope all of you are tapping into your creative side.

As most of you know Jill has moved to Atlanta, so great to have an SO sister here. She told me the other day she misses the sun, Atlanta in the winter can get dreary but Spring is AMAZING. Anywho, I'll post some new pics soon...Jill and I went to an event and of course stayed in the corner laughing the whole night..total kodak moment. Ok it's almost 2:30 and I'm getting sleepy. Great talking to you and don't forget to fill your cup daily and give from the overflow.

Peace and Love,
Jodi

2:28 AM - 15 Comments - 20 Kudos - Add Comment

Tis The Season..
Current mood: thoughtful

Hello my friends...just wanted to send some holiday love to all. Enjoy yourselves, your family and start thinking about ringing in the new year.

My holiday cards had this quote and wanted to share with all of you!

I will love the light
for it shows me the way,
yet I will endure the darkness
because it shows me the stars

-Og Mandino

Have a beautiful holiday.

Peace and Love,
Jodi

4:59 PM - 7 Comments - 13 Kudos - Add Comment

Peace
Current mood: thoughtful

It feels like forever since I..ve checked in with you guys and I've been stuck in my head for to long. Have you guys listened to my song by Regina Specktor...Fidelity. Listen!

Ok, so life...I..ve decided that Jmedia isn't working for me right now, I miss daily interaction with people so I've started interviewing, seeing what's out there. I'm looking into a variety of things. Did you guys watch ..The Challenge.. on Oprah a couple of weeks ago, LOVED it and have sent away for information to become a trained facilitator..who knows but it was an amazing show and I felt compelled to gather information.

Still making Jewelry, took a class and have learned to wire wrap....my work has changed so much and I love my new stuff. I just enrolled for a class in January to start learning basic silver fabrication techniques, so rings, chains, bracelets...the skies the limit. Yea for J-Jewels!

I..m still doing some dating but nothing serious...what I've realized is that I still have some work to do with accepting myself as I am right now. Every time I get asked out I think about losing a couple of more pounds before the date. Yuck...still a major challenge for me. I'm also working on changing the tape in my head. Still trashing myself silently and worrying about the things I haven't accomplished rather then celebrating the things that I have accomplished (thanks mom for always being my best cheerleader) . January 14th is my one year anniversary of coming home from the SO house...and honestly I still feel a little shell shocked sometimes. What a blessing that my recovery time is getting better and when I need support I seek it.

For me the lesson is to remember to be gentle with myself, be my own best friend...remember the joy is in the journey.

I've been so out of the loop and miss our interaction, I hope everyone is enjoying life and getting ready to be with family and friends for Thanksgiving. Interesting that the synonym for Thanksgiving is GRACE!!!

I'm thankful for all of you.

Peace,
Jodi

12:27 AM - 15 Comments - 23 Kudos - Add Comment

  What does Love mean?

..
A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined.

See what you think:


.. "When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca- age 8


"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."
Billy - age 4


.... "Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving
cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5



.... "Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your
French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
Chrissy - age 6



.. "Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
Terri - age 4



.... "Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7


.... "Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of
kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy
and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss"
Emily - age 8



.... "Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop
opening presents and listen." Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)



.... "If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,"
Nikka - age 6

.. (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)



.. "Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7



.. "Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6



.. "During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I
looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and
smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."
Cindy - age 8


.. "My mommy loves me more than anybody You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."
Clare - age 6



"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."
Elaine-age 5



.. "Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." Chris - age 7



"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him
alone all day." Mary Ann - age 4



.. "I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4



.. "When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (what an image) Karen - age 7



.... "Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross."
Mark - age 6



.. "You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."
Jessica - age 8



.... And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child... The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello my friends...hope this finds everyone in good spirits. I just wanted to share this cause it's great! I'll post some updates soon, I promise.

Peace and Love,
Jodi

5:50 PM - 14 Comments - 18 Kudos - Add Comment

M.I.A
Current mood: amused

Hello my friends..its been awhile and I hope this finds you all in a good place.

I watched my graduation and the finale again the other day..wow did I really do that! I can't believe it's over. After the couples finish the season up, say goodbye people...no more starting over. Of course it could always show up in syndication on tvone, who knows. I'm sad to see it end. I've been home for 7-1/2 months...which is shocking to me, seems like a couple of months. Interesting to look back at the accomplishments and the challenges that still exist..yes people I still have challenges. Its been hard figuring out exactly what I want to do, I came home with the intention of running Jmedia, which I have to some degree but I've also realized that Jmedia isn't the complete vision for me...trying to live the big life. So learning to be a beginner...charting new territory and scared to death. Nothing like keeping yourself in the risk/die category!

Still making Jewelry, went to a bead show over the weekend! Also still doing the online dating thing...just switched from match to eharmony and am getting ready to meet a couple of guys (takes awhile to get there on eharmony) trust me if I get swept off my feet you'll be the first to know.

Christie and I finished our teleclass with Rhonda, and I really enjoyed the experience. Loved connecting with the women and sharing our Journey..other than that summer is coming to an end...I'm getting ready to do one last trip to the beach, actually my mom wants me to help her clear away some clutter in her house! How could I refuse a reason to catch some rays and hang with family. I talked to Bethany the other day so hopefully well be able to connect this trip!

Please know how much I appreciate all of your messages and warm wishes...on those challenging days you always help me get grounded! THANK YOU.

Peace and love and don't forget to fill your cup daily!
Jodi

8:44 PM - 32 Comments - 48 Kudos - Add Comment

Sunday Morning
Current mood: relaxed

Just a little sunday morning reading, thanks for sending it my way big T.

Life's Journey

Do not undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others.
It is because we are different that each of us is special.

Do not set your goals by what other people deem important.
Only you know what is best for you.
Do not take for granted the things closest to your heart.

Cling to them as you would your life, for without them, life is meaningless.
Do not let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past nor for the future.
By living your life one day at a time, you live all of the days of your life.
Do not give up when you still have something to give.
Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
It is a fragile thread that binds us to each other.

Do not be afraid to encounter risks.
It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.
Do not shut love out of your life by saying it is impossible to find.
The quickest way to receive love is to give love.
The fastest way to lose love is too hold it too tightly.
In addition, the best way to keep love is to give it wings

Do not dismiss your dreams.
To be without dreams is to be without hope.
To be without hope is to be without purpose.
Do not run through life so fast that you forget not only where you have been,
but also where you are going.

Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way



Peace and Love!
Jodi

9:18 AM - 15 Comments - 22 Kudos - Add Comment

necklaces up

Hi, just wanted to let you know that I put the some new necklaces up on ebay...let me know what you think!

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ih=011&item=320006242437&rd=1&sspagename=STRK%3AMESE%3AIT&rd=1

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ih=011&item=320006319735&rd=1&sspagename=STRK%3AMESE%3AIT&rd=1

Peace and Love!
Jodi

7:14 PM - 5 Comments - 5 Kudos - Add Comment

Home Sweet Home
Current mood: chipper

Hello my friends! Back from the beach and having water withdrawls...I put up a couple of new pics so check out my favorite place. I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday and enjoyed being with family, friends etc. I kayacked with the dolphins which never stops amazing me. Saw a lot of family, including my dad. That went well, he actually told me he was proud of me and I actually felt it...I started to cry telling my mom the next day. What can I say, the tears flow sometimes. Glad I get to share things like that with my mom, she really is an amazing women. I made some jewelry at the beach but sold it as fast as I made it....over the weekend I made some more so check it out on ebay.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ih=011&item=320006160969&rd=1&sspagename=STRK%3AMESE%3AIT&rd=1

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ih=011&item=320006162531&rd=1&sspagename=STRK%3AMESE%3AIT&rd=1

I'm going to put 2 necklaces up later today as well!

Have you guys read Until Today, Daily Devotions for Spiritual Growth and Peace of Mind by Iyanla. It's really been keeping me grounded and I REALLY think anyone who is on their own journey could benefit from this book. It's like having group with Iyanla every day.

So back to the real world, ready to resume dating and working on a new business venture, besides the Jewelry. It's a huge idea but one I've been tinkering with for awhile. I'll keep you posted when I have more to share.


Peace and Love,
Jodi

10:08 AM - 13 Comments - 14 Kudos - Add Comment

Coffee Talk
Current mood: hopeful

So it's Sunday evening, just finished packing...getting ready to go to my favorite hangout, the beach! The beach is my church, my place to get still and listen. Which I need to do!
Kayacking every morning is the way I plan on kicking off my day...also plan on making jewelry every day, bought some great new stones...can't wait to show them to you all. Hopefully connect with Bethany and Niambi as well...I'll take some pics and post them when I get home.

Still online dating, thought I had something special with one guy but.........I guess that's why Rhonda says to date 3 men at a time. I keep telling myself it's good practice but boy it's hard not to go to that rejected place sometimes...I can hear Dr. Stan in my ear telling me that its not rejection just that some men want something different than what I have to offer. Thank god for tools! Before SO I had checked out from dating so, pat on the back for me for being vulnerable and open to love. So funny, the guy I was talking about above, emailed me that he wished he could be as open to love as I am. I swear! I even emailed that to Iyanla, thanking her for helping me get to that point. Never has a man said those words to me....I hope you all get to enjoy yourselves for the holiday...

Happy 4th!

fill your cup daily
peace,
Jodi

5:09 PM - 20 Comments - 26 Kudos - Add Comment