Lilly’s first day at school (Sorry! No pics yet!)
Current mood: content
Category: School, College, Greek
We peek around the door way and watch her sitting at the table for little tiny people, eating her lunch. She did a good job. Our child who normally eats like a humming bird has pretty much cleared her plate. Seems it was a good idea to pay a little extra for her to eat with her classmates.
"Hey! How was your first day of school baby!?" we ask her when she sees us in the hallway, running out of the classroom towards us, arms open for a hug.
"Fine!"
"Whaddya' do!?" David and I ask. Expecting excitement, stories, etc., ect., and all that jazz........
"Nuffing."
"Uh...Did you make any friends?"
"Yeah."
This was at the end of her first day of school. And I have to say, it was a bit anti-climatic. Let me start at last Monday.......
We're driving to meet her teacher and Lilly is sitting in the back seat with this hideous terry cloth sweat band on. It's folded down her ears and eye brows. Her heads bobbing to the radio and she's looking out the window.
"Are you going to go meet your teacher looking like that?" Not that I care.....Okay well maybe a little. But otherwise I'm amused by her choice of style. And besides, at the "New Parent Orientation" they told us they like to see when the kids have picked out their own outfits. So I'm take this as a chance that when ever David should get her dressed for the day, bad idea that it is since he is color blind and puts together strange outfits for her when he dresses her, that I can say that Lilly dressed herself! Anyway, I'm thankful that right now it's just the sweat band.
"Yeah! Sure!" she chirps from the back seat, never breaking the rhthym of her head bobbing.
"Well alright then!" We get to the school and David drops us off at the front door. While we're waiting for him to park the car, Lilly looks in the windows at her reflection and takes off the sweat band. A small sigh of relief breathes through me. Also while we're waiting, I explain to Lilly that when school starts, that David and I can't stay with her for the day. She has to stay there with all her friends she'll make and her teacher.
"But I can't stay here all by myself!" I reassure her she won't be by herself, and she'll be okay. David comes and we head inside to go see her classroom. It's a nice little class room. It has all the normal pre-school stuff. Kitchen play center, paint easels, chalk boards, etc. There's a class pet, a Guinie Pig named "Buckeye". What I really like is that they took two of those half moon tables and put them together to form a circle. And then put a ficus tree in the middle part. As if they're all eating around a tree....Well, I guess they really are. (Duh Amanda!)
While we talk to the teachers and introduce ourselves, Lilly goes over everything, little hands touching everything, loving every minute of it. She walks up to meet her teachers and says.....
"I LOVE it here! I gonna learn here. Mommy and Daddy drop me off and then come back to pick me up. I stay here all by myself!" and then she hugs their legs. Let the suck up begin...Hehe! ;-)
After that we take her to see the gym. See, when we drop her off at school, first we take her to her classroom to hang up her coat, put down her things, and go pee. Then we take her to the gym where they let the kids run around a bit before they go to their classrooms. Anyway, Lilly sees the gym and her eyes widen as she gasps. She sees the other kids there running around the gym.....
"Gimme my head band!" she tells David. He hands it to her and she smooshes it down over her head, folding down her ears again. Then she takes a place at the end of the gym, strikes a runners pose (you know, how they get down before the gun goes off?) and then she yells "GO!" and takes off towards the end of the gym, racing with a little boy. She hits the mats on the wall at the other end and yells, "Yay! I win! I win!" For a good 15 solid minutes she does nothing but run up and down the gym.
When we leave, she cries...."I wanna play in the gym! I wanna learn! I don't wanna go!" David picks her up to carry her to the car. "Yer so meeeeaaaannnnn!" And she cries ALL THE WAY HOME!
So, this brings us to Wednesday, her first day of school. She seems excited enough to be going. We talk about all the things she'll be doing. Grandma comes over and take the obligitory "First Day of School" pics (sorry, haven't got them developed yet!). Then we grab the token box of kleenex that schools ask for and get out on the road. On the way there, we discuss all the things she's going to that day, again. Although she just seems to be preoccupied with the thought of playing in the gym.
We get to the school and go to her classroom, dropping off her things. David and I make her go pee, and we hear her singing in the bathroom, "I wanna play in the gym! I wanna play in the gym!" She comes out and off we go! To the God blessed gym! FINALLY! As soon as we get in the door she is off and running. Running with the rest of the short little people who are all over the gym like ants. I couldn't even get a decent picture of her! They were all moving so fast!
David and I sit back and watch. She doesn't really seem to be interacting with the kids so much. She's just running and kicking balls among them, almost like she doesn't even notice there are other kids there. I was wondering if she ever was going to interact with anyone when an interaction happened. She was kicking a big green ball around and some little boy came over and TOOK IT FROM HER! My heart broke and raged all at the same time. I had to stop myself from going over there and telling the kid, "SHE was playing with ball! You big MEANIE!" But this is one of the moments that I realize I can't jump in. She's gonna have to learn to deal with these things herself. So we watch to see what she'll do. And what does she do?......
She makes a big "harumf!" gesture, crosses her arms over her chest, turns around, and stomps off. She sits by herself under a basketball hoop for a minute, pouting. Then she comes over and I give her a hug. "Don't worry baby. There are a lot of balls for you to play with." But I hate that I said that to her! Maybe I'm over reacting here, but it seems like I'm setting her up for a life time of letting people take things away from her when I say that. How do I teach her defend herself without becoming violent? Sure, I'll tell her to tell the teacher first, but what if the teacher doesn't do anything about it. How much shit should my kid take before she has to fight back? I mean, it's not as if this kid knocked her down, but I'm thinking of stuff happening in the future. I guess it's just going to be one of these things I'll have to figure out as I go.
We stay until it's time for the kids to go. She comes over and gives me a hug and then runs off to her teacher, totally forgetting about David. The teacher has to drag her back over to give him a hug goodbye. She had no problems about us not being there with her. I figured there would be tears, "No don't go!", etc. Nothing! She could not have cared less. So David and I left. And no, there were no tears from me either. Because that's not how I roll! But we were anxious to see what we were gonna hear when we went back to pick her up. And we expected her to cry at the fact that she had to leave.......
But no! She didn't! She was perfectly fine with the fact she had to leave. No tears, no "I don't wanna leave!", etc. The only time she cried was when we got in the car and she realized that she had left her box of kleenex in the classroom. She thought those we hers to keep and she had forgotten them. We finally just had to tell her that we'll get her another box of kleenex. *rolls eyes* But other than that, nothing special! She acts like she's been going to school for years!
Ask her what she did that day? "I played." Ask her what she had for lunch? "Food." Ask her if she had a good time? "Yeah sure!"
*look of disbelief on my face* WTF!? She's even hard to get moving in the morning! And on the days off between her school days? She's cool with it! I was expecting days long with "I wanna go to school!" you know? But NOTHING! She's as cool as a cucumber! WTF!?
The next couple of days that she's gone to school, I've noticed that she hangs on her teacher a lot when I drop her off at the gym. She doesn't seem to play with the other kids. So David and I were a little concerned that she's not interacting and making friends like she should be. Yesterday I asked her teacher if she's getting along alright. I asked her, "Does she hang on you all day long, or does she actually play with the other kids?" and as I ask this, I look around to see where Lilly is. And I see that she has one of the little girls, who was waiting in line to pee, down on the floor and was tickling her. And they both were laughing to beat the band. My fears instantly lifted.
But the teacher said that no, she does play with the other kids. As a matter of fact, she's made a friend named Megan! And they actually had to seperate Lilly from her during circle time because Lilly wouldn't quit talking to her. Haha! I had to laugh at that. I figured she'd get in trouble for that sometime. I'll admit, when I saw that she didn't seem to be interacting, I worried she was going to be like me, a chatter box at home, but never saying a thing at school. But now I see she's going to be how I imagined she would be before we even signed her up for school. She's going to get in trouble for talking to much.
So I guess that's about it. Sorry, I know this went on for a while. But you know me, when I get a chance to get on here, I get a lot of stuff in. So! Until next time...It's been real...It's been fun...But for now...I'm done!
Had a little time so I thought I’d check in again.......
Current mood: content
Category: Life
I got a little time to mself so I thought I'd check in again. I've read all your blogs. Haven't commented on them, but hopefully I'll be able to do that after I post this.
Not much else has been going on since my last blog post, other than the usual stuff. But life is going to start changing even more next week. Lilly starts her first day of preschool next week. Yay! Tomarrow we have the parents orientation. Monday we have the orientation where Lilly gets to meet her teachers, and then she starts school on Wednesday, the 20th. I'm starting to get a little nervous. What if she's not on the roster because I filled out some paper work wrong? They haven't called and said anything. But still, you never know right!? Maybe I should call them? I might just do that.
This weekend we're going out to buy her school clothes! Yay! And so the fun begins. We have to get her some new shoes, socks, underwear. Maybe a back pack. Thank God I don't have to buy school supplies yet. You know what I might just do to avoid the hell of school supply shopping later? When all the back to school crap is over, and the rest of the shit is all on mark down, and the crowds have gone away.....I'm gonna go buy it all up for the next years to come. That way when she hits 1st grade, I'll have all the paper, pencils, folders, etc I need. And hopefully all I'll have to shop for is just the few odd items that the class rooms request and clothes.
Lilly had her first dentist appointment. And I am the proud parent of a child with perfect teeth! I swear. I could barely fit my head through the office door when we left, I was so proud. And he said she's probably going to have pretty straight teeth when the new ones start coming because she has perfect spacing between the teeth she has now. I didn't know this but apparently little kids are supposed to have some space between their baby teeth. I was kind of concerned about that, but turns out it was a good thing.
So what esle? I think I need to get back to my arthritis doctor. I think I'm having another flare up again. What I really need to do is get back on my meds. Because you know, I'll walk better. And one of the side effects is decreased appetite (I've been putting on a few pounds. So this would be a good thing for me). But I hate them because another side effect is diareah (sp? WTF. I get the shits. There! I said it!) and gas. Sure I'll walk better. But who will want to walk with me? They could try other meds. But I think they're worse because they fuck with your liver. I'm not to cool about that.
But I know I must be having another flare up because I hurt every where again. My arms, hands, neck, back, hips, knees. Every joint hurts. Enough so that I'm afraid to move. And I've been more tired than usual. Not just from general lack of sleep. But just my whole body feels tired. AND! My other knee has started swelling up. Fuckin' great! I'm seriously considering getting that knee replacement. The doc told me it might not be a good idea because I'm so young. They usually only do it for people in their 40's or 50's.
But you know what? I need to be able to move now. While my child is still young. While I'm still young enough to put in a hard days work. I'm only 29. I shouldn't have to live with this pain until I'm 50. I need to be able to move now while there is shit that needs to be done. I look at this way. If I can move now, I can work hard and save up for when I can't. Some people have suggested that I try to get on disability. WTF!? They don't give disability to people my age. Especially when I haven't done everything I can to help myself. Which includes a knee replacement! So I am seriously considering getting it done.
So what else? I'm really excited about autumn being on the way in (although it's probably another reason why I've been aching more. The changing of the seasons always hurts me. But I'm still excited about it.) The nights have been crisp and chilly. I can smell everything starting to change. I love fall! I've been feeling the need to start fixing big pots of soup. I'm gonna fix a shit load and freeze it. I'm gonna fix Italian sausage and chicken soup, vegetable beef, chicken corn chowder, soup beans, chicken noodle, chicken and dumplings. And I'm gonna try and take another few days of vacation around the end of October. Because there's trick or treating (I need to rest up for that event), Ariana's birthday (October 31st! A halloween baby! Yay!), David's and mine "true" anniversary (when we officially started dating. It'll be 13 years!) on October 28th. So I think I should take some time off for all of that.
Well, I guess that's it! It's been real...It's been fun...But for now...I'm done!
I am alive, believe it or not...........
Current mood: content
Category: Life
Yes.....I am alive....I think. Haha! I know I've went missing again! I'm sorry. Hopefully you all are used to it by now. Just know that I'm for the most part okay when it happens. I haven't decided to follow a band of gypsies or join a cult or anything. So what's been goin' on?.......
Nothing much really. Mainly I either sleep, watch the kid play in the pool while I work on my tan, or babysit. My days have been: come home, sleep, wake up, and either go outside because it gets pretty damn hot in here (no AC and VERY humid!), or go over to my mom's house where there is AC and baby-sit. And if I'm baby sitting, I can't get on the computer because Ariana has finally learned to crawl and also pull herself up to stand and cruise around on the furniture or what ever else she can use to hold herself up. She is ALL OVER the place. Seriously. I can't even take a nap anymore unless I put her in the playpen. As much as I baby proof, she finds something I have forgotten. Between her and Lilly, I am constantly on guard. I fear they may begin to plot against me.
But Ariana is a MUCH happier baby now. I may be awake a hell of a lot more, but atleast it's not filled with screeching. I wonder if part of the problem was that she was frustrated that she couldn't get around. Because as soon as she started crawling, she calmed down considerably. Now she's always babbling, cooing, giggling. She's a hell of a lot more fun. And she's finally gotten some teeth! FINALLY! Two bottom ones and there's a 3rd one coming in on top. I tell ya', she's been a tough baby to deal with but I think it's finally paying off.
So what else? Ummm....David and I celabrated our 8th anniversary. Nothing special. Went to dinner at the Out Back Steak House. Surprisingly I have never been there before. I have to say that I really wasn't that impressed. I did not feel like I was the out back. There were no Aborigines. Not even a statue of one. No stuffed wallabies or kangaroos. They did try to give items on the menu Australian like names, but they were no different then the normal steak house fare at any other place. I had the grilled salmon and a drink called "That durned Wallaby", which is basically a peach daquirie.
After that we went to an adult store and picked up a few items. Nothing special. Once you've seen one large rubber cock, you've pretty much seen 'em all....Well, I take that back because I did see an exceptionally large one that should have been in the gag gift section because it's a joke to think any woman (or man if that's your thing) could fit it in her body. And if you're one of those women that can, I tip my hat to ya'. Then we rented a hotel room. Sure, we could have come back home. But sometimes you just wanna fuck some place else ya' know?
So what else? Well, realized I REALLY need to watch my mouth around Lilly. I know I've said it before, but she's gonna be starting school on the 20th. I really need to start watching it now. You wanna know what happened the other day? I was driving down the high, taking a paper to be signed by her doc and I was pissed off because I had taken the wrong exit, I was stuck by a bunch of slow ass drivers, etc. You know? Road raging a little? The car ahead of me used their windshield wipers and the fluid shot back on my car. I, totally forgetting that Lilly is back there, said "Thanks asshole. Thank you very much!" Then, as I'm getting on the exit ramp and the car departs from our view, Lilly yells out the window.....
"Thanks for helping my mommy asshole!" and waves good bye. I was rolling. Because she said it as if she really thought they had helped me. Thank God the windows were rolled up and we were driving at a high rate of speed. But then! I pull up to the stop light at the end of the exit ramp, and in the car next to us, there's this guy just diggin' away at his nose. He had his thumb in there scraping out all kinds of shit. Lilly looks over and sees him and then says.....
"See Mom! Him not an asshole! Him nice!" HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Seriously. I gotta start watching my mouth.
Other Lilly news....She is slowly begining to make peace with the toads around our house. See, she loves looking at them, but is afraid to touch them. I have tried to show her how great toads are by picking them up and rubbing their bellied, petting them, scratching their "ears", etc. (I'm known as the "toad whisperer" to some people) but she's still afraid to touch them. So anyway, when my Aunt Janet was up here from Texas, she was sitting at the table with Lilly and my mom. And Lilly was making my mom draw a picture of a little boy who was scared of a toad. After that they decided to write a letter to the toad outside, asking the toad to please quit being so scary. And then mom took Lilly outside with a flash light, trying to find a toad to give the letter to. They couldn't find one, so they left it by a bush for the toad to find.
She came back inside and wanted to write another note to the toad and I decided we should mail this one. So we put it in an envelope and addressed it to "The Scary Toad" that lives at "my house in the bushes". Then I got the flash light and we went back out into the night to find the toad. We searched through all the bushes when I finally told Lilly that we probably wouldn't find one because they were all in bed asleep. She throws her hands up in the air and yells at me "Just find him!" After that she decided she was going to sit down while I tried to find one.....Oh hell no!
So we put the letter by the note she left earlier. Then when I left for work, I picked up the notes and put them in my bag so she'd think the toad got them (Shhh!!!! Don't tell her I did that. It'll blow everything!) The next day, I was sitting at my mom's table, tying one on with a few draft beers (dad drilled a hole in the door of a refrigerator so he could keep a keg in it and have the tap on the fridge door. He keeps it locked up in a shed.....Genious!) and I decided to write a letter to Lilly "from the toad". I told her.....
"Dear Lilly, I am very sorry that I scared you. I didn't mean to! I promise I will try to never do that again. It would be so very perfect if you would rub my belly and scratch my ears just like your mommy does.
Love, The NOT Scary Toad"
Then I gave her the letter. She loved it! She was so excited that the toad wrote her back! Haha! A few days later we found a toad and she touched it! So it's working!
Okay so that's all I got for right now. I got to get off her and get ready to baby sit. She should be here any minute. It's been real...It's been fun...But for now...I'm done!
Sun induced ramblings......
Current mood: content
Category: Life
All you sun worshipers would be so proud of me today. I spent aaaaaaaalllll daaaaaaayyyyy outside today. From noon until about 5:30pm........
Okay so I know that's only 5 hours. But it's pretty much considered all day to me. It was nice though. Wanna see what makes a good day?..............
Yup! A kid, 2 books, a pack of cigs, some iced tea, and a bottle of coffee (because ya' know? I gotta stay awake and active by going pee every 15 minutes!) Add some music and a kiddie pool, and you've got it made. All that was missing was a bottle of beer or whiskey.
The only thing that was bad about today was 1.) THE FUCKING BURNING SUN! Seriously. I got a pretty god burn/tan goin' on here! I think I actually lost weight just laying there trying to get a tan. I think my heart rate did go up trying to deal with how hot it was. All I kept thinking was........
"Oh my GAWD! It's so fucking HOOOOOTTTTTTTTT! AHHHH! I'm BUUUURRRRRNNNIIIIIINGGGGGGGG!"
You'd think that I would have gotten out of the sun right? But no. To tan I must burn first. That is the way. I know! Yack at me about skin cancer all you want. But damage has already been done. I smoke, I drink, and I take copious amounts of ibuprophen because my joints are being eaten up by arthritis. Let the sun have it's go at me damn it! Anyway, back to what else sucked.......
2.) The fact that I had to listen normal radio. See, when I'm in my car, I listen to Sirius Satellite. So if I don't like a song, I just switch it to another channel. Most of the time I leave it on Lithium (90's alternative rock), Alternative Nation, Classic Rewind, classic 80's, etc. But when a song comes on I don't like, I have about 150 other stations I can go through and find something I like with the touch of a button on the little remote it comes with. Today I had to listen to the regular radio and had to listen to a WHOLE BUNCH of crap. And it reminded me why I like to have a shit load of CD's in the car. Because they seem to only play the same damn 10 songs over and over again.
The only good songs was the one you heard playing when you opened this blog, one I never caught the name or artist of, and that "I kissed a girl" (Dew(ed), I swear, I had never heard that song until I read your blog this morning and now I see that they're playing on the radio over and over again. Thank God it's got a decent beat.) I like this new Kid Rock song though, "All Summer Long".....
"Sippin' whiskey out the bottle, not thinking 'bout tomarrow, singin' Sweet Home Alabama all summer long"
*sigh* Sounds wonderful doesn't it? You want to know what one the things about working nights that sucks? Not being able to stay home at night. If I could be home every night during the summer? I'd be sitting out on the porch, drinking a beer, listening to music, and watching fire flies every fuckin' night of the week. I have 5 days off at the end of this month when my Aunt Janet comes up from Texas. I think I'm gonna do just that!
Sometimes, even though Kid Rock might annoy me a little, I can identify with him a little. Or atleast his music. I'm "white trash". I live in a trailer and my dad got banned from the local red neck hole in the wall for fighting. I don't have an automobile up on bricks in the front yard yet. But give the GMC a little more time and I will! (Jesus that truck is cursed!) But I don't mind where I'm at. I'm enjoying the simple things like "Sippin' whiskey out the bottle, not thinking 'bout tomarrow".
Okay so let's shift gears here...It came to my attention yesterday that I hear bird voices in my head. Not bad things like them telling me to do stuff like kill people, etc. But I look at them and I hear them talking by the looks of their faces and their actions. See yesterday Lilly and I were driving home from getting our hair cut and my brows waxed (I can't WAIT till I can start waxing Lilly) and we drove through the park where there's always a shit load of geese and ducks. Sometimes you have to stop and wait for them to cross the road. Well, a whole big group of geese was crossing the road and as they walked by my car, one of them looked at me and I swear I could hear him saying.......
"Hey! I'm crossing the road here! Wait your damn turn!"
You know? Shit like that. And for some reason, it's only birds that I hear this with. I love watching them. I remember when I worked for my dad, there was always a puddle in the parking lot where all the birds gathered. They were fun to watch. It seems like they all had their own little personalities. The sparrows would land on the edge of the puddle and hop in. The doves would land and cautiously walk around before finally wading in. But the starlings were the best! They'd come dive bombing in. Then they'd put their heads in the water, shake it, and just have a great time splashing it all around. I could hear them screaming...
"Wooohoooooo!!!!! Damn it this feels good! Wooohooooo!"
and making motor boat noises. And when I was at McDonald's, letting Lilly play, and feeding the birds my french fries again. There was big black bird that landed right on my table, took a whole french fry right off the tray, and I swear to God, he looked me right in the eye before he took off........
"I'm taking this french fry biotch!"
No, I am not on any mood altering drugs, or psycotics. This is just the way I think. So that's about all I got on my mind right now. I'm off of here to go get ready for work. States in at The 7th Circle of Hell! WOOOOHOOO! I secretly hope they get cited for something. Trust me, I'm not the only one who has this secret desire. We'd love to watch the DON squirm. So! Before I go, I leave you with this, a video of Lilly dancing and swimming. There's no sound, but she was dancing to "All Summer Long". That's my little "white trash prodigy"! Go baby!..............
It's been real...It's been fun...But for now...I'm done!
So it's GBE time again. And the topic for this weeks 45th installment is....
"CHEATING"
Yeah, I don't have much experience in this area. I've said before that I had a few boyfriends before David. None of them very serious. I remember I dated a guy for about a year. And he cheated on me. But I was only 14 then. To me that doesn't count. I was just a kid. Yes, it hurt....for about a week and then I was over it. I bounce back quick. So I guess you can say that I've been lucky and dodged that bullet of hurt. But trust me, it's not as if I'm oblivious to what it would do to me if it happened now.
When I hear the word "cheating", the next word that comes to my mind right after that is.......
"JEALOUSY"
Some of you may not know this (most of you do. So you are excused from reading this blog because you've probably heard this all before.) but I am a jealous wife. Before David and I got married, I was pretty bad. I didn't like any other women even looking at him. I hated the fact that he worked with a girl who was a stripper. It was never that I didn't trust him. I just couldn't trust the women. I was always afraid that they would try to make a move on my man, and try to steal him away.
I think I was right to feel that way. I had a lot to lose by loosing him. (And I still think I do) When he and I started dating, neither of us thought it would last. We figured we'd date for a while, and then it would fade out between both of us working, living a town apart, and going to different schools. And anyway, to be honest? I was just looking to get laid. And he was the one I CHOSE to get laid by. Who I thought was the finest specimen. I had had a crush on him since the 3rd grade. So what if our relationship didn't last? Atleast I got to bang him right?
But it did last. I only gave us about six months. That ending up turning into a year, then longer, and longer, and longer. Our love grew. Everyday I was amazed. I had low self-esteem and anger issues. Didn't think I was worthy enough of being around. I couldn't imagine why anyone would want me. Everyday I was amazed that he still wanted to talk to me or spend time with me.
HE WANTED ME!
God I can't tell you how good that felt. Somebody wanted me. After having boyfriends that never really seemed to want me, and being teased by the boys in MY high school, I found someone who WANTED me. Despite all my issues, my baggage, my shit. I have no idea what he saw in me. But he saw something.
HE LOVED ME!
I felt glorious in the notion that he thought I was worthy of him loving me. He must've seen someone worth loving, or he wouldn't be with me today; 13 years and one child later.
So what would it have done to me if he cheated? It would rip away the fabric of my "reality" and send me completely adrift. Because when I realized that he wanted me, that he loved me....It helped give me a sense of self worth. I felt special knowing that he loves me, and only me. If he cheated it would only tell me that it was all a lie. If I was worthy enough to him, he wouldn't want to lose me. If I was special enough, he wouldn't need anyone else. Every good feeling I felt because of him would become null and void.
Because of how good he made me feel, I became extremely jealous. Everyday I lived in fear that another girl would steal him away. I was his first real girl friend. I lived in fear that he didn't actually know what love was. Maybe he only THOUGHT he loved me. What if he were just standing in line at the bank, and the girl standing infront of him struck up a casual conversation with him while waiting to make a deposit. What if he realized, "Wait. THIS girl is the love of my life. Not Amanda!" and he left me for her? I didn't want to lose him. I didn't want to lose the good feelings he gave me. I wanted to hold on to it for as long as I could. And every time he talked to another female, inside I was screaming.
Thankfully the jealousy hardley ever rears it's ugly head and has only caused a few rifts. Because I was smart enough to realize that all of it was in my head. It was my deep seated insecurity talking. And the more I obssessed about it, the more likely it would happen. I'd end up jeapordizing our relationship, pushing him to leave me by acting like a total ass. I decided to take each day with him as a gift, just incase he wasn't there the next. He never gave me the indication that he wouldn't be there. But that's how I dealt with my fears.
I've gotten better. I don't know how, but I did. I've gotten better about it enough that last year, for our 7th wedding anniversary, I went with him to a titty bar. AND IT WAS MY IDEA! It's my brand of "extreme therapy". Kind of desensitizing myself I guess. Because I am still jealous. Every once in a while, the fear comes back from out of no where and grips me. I actually envision him in bed with another woman and my blood boils, I become dizzy, my heart races, I find it a little harder to breath. But I take a deep breath, push it away, and keep it under wraps (until...just...now). Because why?.......
Because I don't want David to think I'm fucking nuts! That's why! But also.......
"The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves." ~William Penn, Some Fruits of Solitude, 1693
"Jealousy in romance is like salt in food. A little can enhance the savor, but too much can spoil the pleasure and, under certain circumstances, can be life-threatening." ~Maya Angelou
"Jealousy is the dragon in paradise; the hell of heaven; and the most bitter of the emotions because associated with the sweetest." ~A.R. Orage
"The jealous bring down the curse they fear upon their own heads." ~Dorothy Dix
"Jealousy is always born with love, but does not always die with it." ~François Duc de La Rochefoucauld, Maxims
"Jealousy, that dragon which slays love under the pretense of keeping it alive." ~Havelock Ellis, On Life and Sex: Essays of Love and Virtue, 1937
"Jealousy... is a mental cancer." ~B.C. Forbes
It's all so very true. I still treat each day with him like a gift though. Because it's true, he could not be there the next. (Death could take him! Haha!) So I love him with abandone. I try and remind myself to kiss him like it's the last time I'll ever kiss him. Because....
"He that is not jealous is not in love." ~St. Augustine
I am, and always will be, in love with him.
Is it just me, or did this blog take a little side road and it's not about "cheating" anymore?.......Wow. Okay. Time to shut up. It's been real...It's been fun...But for now...I'm done!
Blah, Blah, Blah, BLAH!
Current mood: sleepy
Category: Life
Alrighty then. So because of the GBE blog posts, these tags I keep getting hit with (Jessi, I'm still working on the music one!), and my interview fixes...I haven't went "random" in a while. So lemme do just that......
--- Did you all see about Jesse Jackson on the news, talking about Barack Obama? You know? Talking down to the black people about the faith based issue? And then how he said, "I want to cut his nuts off!"? Hahahahaha!!!! I laughed my ever lovin' ass off about that. This doesn't mean I'm a McCain supporter. I have no idea in hell who I support right now, because I haven't decided who is the lesser of two evils yet....And like I said, I'm wishy washy. I'm probably one of those who is a hypnotists DREAM. You could so easily make me think I'm a chicken's ass. Anyhoo!
I think it's a riot how within less than 24 hours, he's out there trying to spin his way out of it. Okay now, I can see trying to put a spin on the whole "talking down to the black folk on the faith based issue". Seems easy enough to talk your way out of. BUT! How the fuck do you defend yourself when you say, "I'd like to cut his nuts off!" and then make a little jabbing motion to emphasize the point? And also, doesn't that make the whole first part of the statement look bad?
*****DISCLAIMER***** Please note that I am a dip shit when it comes to politics. That's why I hardley EVER talk about them. I just found this funny and if you have taken offense to anything I have said (because it'd be just my luck that the one time I DO talk about politics, someone would read this and take offense).....I'm sorry. And I certainly hope you don't want to cut my nuts off! *****END OF DISCLAIMER*****
--- I need to try better at staying awake! Lilly has been wreaking all kinds of havock when I pass out from exhaustion. Wednesday, she dragged out the dog food and the cat food and had it EVERY WHERE. She had gotten a couple plates of the dish drain, and put a plate of dog/cat food where ever the dog or cat was. And it seems that if they got up and moved to a different spot, she put more food by them.
Tuesday, she made everything really "glam". Because David had gotten her one of those STUPID Bratz dolls make up, and she decided EVERYTHING needed to look glamorous. She painted a little Elmo toy, that I was letting the baby play with, completely gold. I think she used some type of Bratz Doll hair paint for that. Then, we were in the kitchen and she pointed to a jar of my dad's canned BBQ sauce and said, "See what I made pretty?!" Yeah, she made it all nice a glittery with the glitter nail/hair gunk.
Monday was the worst though. A little scary. See, David and I are pretty big about letting her help out in the kitchen. Well, I was woke up to her shaking me, saying "I want Chuck E. Cheese!"
WTF!? "No! We can't go to Chuck E. Cheese right now!....zzzzzzz...."
She wakes me up again... "No mom! Chuck E. Cheese in the kitchen!"
"We don't have any Chuck E. Cheese in the kitchen!....zzzzzzzz...."
"Moooommmmm! I want Chuck E. Cheese!" So I drag myself out of the fascinating dream I was having (Oh yeah, I'll get to that in a minute!) to see what the hell she was talking about. Turns out what she wanted was Mac 'n' cheese. And she was trying to cook it herself! We usually keep the Kraft easy Macs around the house to fix for her lunch. And we let her help us fix them. I'm kind of proud of her because she was on the right track about fixing it. She has been paying attention. She took off the top and added water to the bowl. But she put the powder cheese in before cooking the macaroni in the microwave. And she couldn't program the microwave to cook it. That's when she woke me up, thank God. She did something to it that it had some kind of word on the time screen. (Don't ask me what it was because I was still half asleep.)
I was trying to fix it, and she had her little elbows set on the microwave cart, chin in her hands, and she said, "It's probably broken mom." But what if she had figured out how to program the time and put it on for 20 minutes!? Shit! You know, we always try to impress on her not to cook on the STOVE with out an adult there. Because you know, she loves scrambling eggs. I don't know why, but it never occured to me to tell her about the microwave too! Learned my lesson that day!
--- About the fascinating dream. Monday, during Lilly's whole Mac 'n' Cheese fiasco, I had the weirdest dream. For some reason, David's penis grew REALLY BIG. Not that my man is something to snicker about, but it grew REALLY BIG. Like 2 feet long. And it was really purple, veiny, and pulsating. What was strange was that it had a tatt on the shaft near the head. And when it grew, the tatt moved up to the head of the penis. And it was some kind of symbol. I wonder if this has any connection to my "clitoris piercing with a guady and dangly earring" dream. Like maybe this is the piece of some weird puzzle I'm missing. But at the same time, I still have NO IDEA what ANY of the pieces mean. I would gladly accept any suggestions here. (Hey Momi! Maybe it's David's penis my vagina isn't getting along with, and not me!? Hmmmm...)
--- Went out and had a "girls day" with Lilly today. I had to go get my yearly free uniform that The 7th Circle of Hell so kindly provides us with. Because you know, they like to know who they need to whip as soon as they lay eyes on us. They do this by color coding us. After that we went to Meijers. While there, I kept hearing this REALLY loud noise coming from the ceiling. It sounded like either elephants trumpeting, or some body playing with a huge latex balloon. Turns out they were putting a new coat of some kind of crap on the top of the building.
While there, my kid showed me that she has already figured out how to pick up boys. She was trying on a dress and some shoes for our upcoming family pic, and there was a little boy in the shoe section. She jumps out into the aisle infront of him, arms and legs spread wide. Then she starts kind of twirling in her dress, acting all feminime (sp?). She asks, "What's yer name?" and batts her eyes. He says some weird name (can't remember what it was. Too busy watching Lilly work her charms) and then he says, "We're going to a place that has crabs!" His mom said they were heading for Puerto Rico ina couple weeks. You should have seen the two of them hitting it off! She was a total Betty! My girl can pull! He was a good lookin' little boy!
While there, I got some new underwear. Woohooo! I love new underwear! I'm already wearing a pair.....RIGHT NOW! Woohoo! And for some reason, despite Lilly making every thing "glam" the other day, I let her get a little bit more make up. It was a girl day after all. It was just a little tote from "Lip Smackers" that has some lip gloss, glittery chapstick, nail polish, and......body glitter cream. Whe we got home, we sat out side and I let her slather she and myself in it. It's like 90 and humid today....I felt really shiny! I am going to pick some of that stuff up for myself though. David and I are celebrating our 8th wedding anniversary on the 19th. I think it would be nice to be a little glittery!
Okay so that's it! It's been real...It's been fun...But for now...I'm done. Sorry if this was boring. And don't say it wasn't because I even bored myself writing this. But didn't feel it was right to not share my boredom with you all. Hope that makes you feel special! :-)
10 more weird things...Can you believe it!?
Current mood: awake
Category: Games
Apparently word has gotten around that I am a nice person who will always do her tags.....*sigh* What do I have to do to stop this nasty rumor? Haha! Just kidding! My new friend.......
has tagged me. (Seriously dude, I don't mind a bit. Because this is a good way for you to get to know me better.) I don't know what to say about Clarkster since I just met him through the GBE. But I like him! You should check him out too and make anew friend! Anyhoo! You guys get to hear 10 more wierd things about me. I thought I was gonna have to actually intentionally START doing weird things. Just so I'd have 10 more things to write about. But wouldn't you know it!? I went with out coffee for a full 24 hours and actually FOUND MORE WIERD STUFF! See what happens without coffee? You weird yourself out. Just so ya' know.
1.) I am HORRIBLE at sending out birthday or holiday cards. Even on line. I don't know why. I swear to myself that I'm going to be better about it and do it, but I don't. Then, when I DO remember to do it, I'm afraid people will start thinking that it's going to happen the next time, when I really can't garauntee that it will. Or that people will think I'm playing favorites because I remembered to send one person a birthday greeting but didn't remember to send them one. So let's just get this out of the way:
When you have a birthday? I am glad you were born and I hope you have a happy day. And OF COURSE I wish you a Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Mothers day, Father's day, etc. Even frickin' FLAG DAY! What ever it is, I hope you have a happy one.
2.) I am a lip biter. And not just in the sack! I bite my lip when I'm nervous and stressed. David sometimes says it's because I'm hungry. But if that were the case, I'd be biting HIS! Because he has much fuller and juicier looking ones. With a little bit of steak sauce, I'm sure they'd be yummy served up with some taters.
3.) I have a HUGE inner "Devil's Advocate". And this causes me much confusion. I can never really decide on anything because I can ALWAYS see the other side on most issues. I blame this for my wishy washy nature.
4.) The thought of running out of coffee gives me the shakes. This is something I have just noticed. You would think I would have noticed it before since I have been drinking coffee since I was 6. But no, I noticed it the other day when I realized that I forgot to fill up my coffee bag for work. I always bring my own coffee to work because the kind they supply us with sucks. Anyhoo! When I realized I had no coffee, I started getting a little upset...on the inside of course. Then I frantically started searching for the "shit in a baggie" that the 7th Circle of Hell supplies us with. The thought of not having coffe for 8 hours bugged me enough I was willing to use the "shit in a baggie".
5.) I have always wanted to yell back at a car salesman. You know how when you go to a car lot and the salesman is all like.....
"HEY! YOU WANNA BUY A CAR!? HOW ABOUT THIS CAR!? THIS IS A GREAT CAR! YOU WANNA BUY THIS CAR?!"
I've always wanted to beat him to the punch. I've always wanted to drive up on the lot, come hopping out of the car, run up to him (or "gimp" up to him in my case) and yell......
"HEY! YOU WANNA SELL ME A CAR!? PLEASE SELL ME A CAR! I LIKE THIS CAR! WANNA SELL ME THIS CAR!? THIS IS A GREAT CAR! HOW MUCH IS THIS CAR!? SELL...ME...THIS...CAAARRRRRR!"
I wanna get the fuckers back at their own game.
6.) Speaking of car salesman. When I worked for my dad at his convienence store/ drive-thru/ BBQ pit/ pizza parlor/ "what ever the hell else he thought he could shove into the place", I could always pick out who among the customers were car salesmen. Because they always talked REALLY loud. Seriously.....
"HEY! CAN I HAVE A COKE! HOW MUCH IS THAT COKE! CAN I GET A BAG OF CHIPS WITH THAT!? WHAT KIND OF CHIPS DO YOU HAVE!?"
Only very few times was I wrong.
7.) Have you seen those "shamwow" infomercials? (I wanna get one of those. I have a kid who loves to play in water, where ever she can get it from. I NEEEEEEED one of those!) I wanna follow the guy who sells those home and see how he lives. I don't know why, but he's interesting. But it isn't just this guy. There's a lot of people that I would just love to be a tiny bug on their shoulder and follow them home to see what they're like. I want to see EVERYTHING they do. All their little mannerisms from how they interact with other people, chew their food, even down to how they take a piss. I want to see it all.
8.) I love meeting other peoples significant others. I love meeting their better (or worse) halves. I like to hear how they met, what they love about them, what they hate about them. It interests me why they chose to spend their life, or any amount of time, with that person.
Gosh, after reading 7 and 8, I guess you can say I'm pretty fuckin' nosy!
9.) Myspace has been the longest running hobby I have had. Often times I'll pick up a hobby, like crochet for example, and do nothing but that for about a month. Then I'll get tired of it and set aside, picking up another hobby. It could be drawing, reading, saduko puzzles, crossword puzzles, etc. It drives my hubby crazy. Especially when it comes to the crochet and drawing bit. Because everytime I pick up those hobbies again, I go out and buy new supplies. Then before I know it, I have more yarn and more drawing supplies stashed away. But myspace has been the one hobby that I haven't put down.
10.) I have entertained the thought that if David dies before I do, I might just go ahead and become a lesbian. Seriously. He was my first. I mean, I fooled around with a couple guys before him. I was not a stranger to a penis the first time we had sex. I had held one before that, and even put one in my mouth. But his was the first to go where no boy had gone before. And the thought of having a different penis inside me is scary.
Okay so that's it! Sorry Clarkster, but I'm not gonna tag anyone with this. But by golly! If you'd like to put your weird out there, don't let me stop you from doing it. GO FOR IT! It's been real...It's been fun...But for now...I'm done!
"INDEPENDENT" -- GBE44
Current mood: contemplative
Category: Life
It's GBE (this is the 44th installment) time again! Hosted by the ever so gracious ~Alicia. I wasn't going to participate this round, because I was having a hard time with the topic......
"INDEPENDENCE"
But as I sat here thinking about it, Lilly was yelling at me into her little microphone that's attached to her V-Smile. She's mad at me for some reason. Probably that I'm not paying complete attention to her. A lot of it I can't understand, but what I got loud and clear was......
"Yer not pooping in yer panties! And I'm...not...EITHER!"
That was followed by.....
"You stop laughing at meeee!!" I was cracking up because I have no idea why she thought of YELLING this into the microphone. "Or you go to jail!"
Hahahahaha!!!! Anyhoo! She gave me some inspiration. One of the most awesome things about spawing a life is watching her grow and the process of learning to do things on her own and be independent. Everything from learning to roll over by herself up until learning to wipe her own ass (atleast that's we're up to so far...and I'm still waiting for her to get the hang of that.) What was even more interesting is that it dawned on me just what my parents must've felt through out my life, watching me struggle to become independent.
I remember watching her struggle to get up on the couch. She looked and sounded like she was working SO HARD! I remember the little noises she'd make....
"Eeeeeeehhhhh!" She'd drop back down. Getting back to her feet, she'd give it another go. "Uuuhhhhhhnnnn! Eeeeehhhhh!" Once again she drops back down again and whimpers a little. I'd sit there and watch her. Amused and amazed at how determined she was. She could have come to me, and in her own infantile way, let me know she needed help. But she was determined to get there on her own. Only when it became to hard, and she was to tired did she let me know she needed help.
Sure, the moment I saw her struggle, I could've got up right then and helped her.......
But I didn't.
I don't know why I didn't. Either I was to lazy or it was to funny watching her and I figured I'd milk a few more laughs out of it. But then I thought,
"Would I really be helping her if I did?"
Think about it. We learn to be independent through learning to do things for ourselves. If I were to just automatically put her up on the couch everytime I knew that's what she wanted, I would be doing it for her for a long time. There's times we have to learn to do things on our own.
Then I remember the look on her face when she finally got up there. Such joy! The look on her face said, "Look where I'm at! I finally made it up here! Wooohoooo!" And I was glad I didn't help her. I'm glad she got to feel a sense of self satisfaction.
It made me realize that teaching your child to be independent is knowing when to step back and let them figure it out for themselves, and when to step in and give them that helping hand when they need it. I think I'm doing okay now. She's only 4. There's really no big issues right now that need to be dealt with. She's only just begining to show her independence. Like how she wants to wash her own hair, what she wants to wear, etc. But what about when she becomes a teenager?
I hope that by letting her make her own decisions now, it will give her a sense of independence and confidence to make the right decisions later. But is there a such thing as too much of it? When she becomes a teenager, there still is a whole bunch of stuff she needs to learn about life. You can't watch your kids 24/7. You have to trust them enough to be out there on their own and make the right decisions.
But I don't want her going out there thinking she knows EVERYTHING (because you know how it is trying to tell a teenager things. Us "old people" don't know anything!) and that she doesn't need her parents anymore. I'm not saying I don't ever want to let go of her, even when she's thirty. Because I do. I want her to be confident that she is an independant woman. But how much of waiting in the wings and watching do I do until then? Seems like there's a fine balance between smothering them and hampering their ability to fend for themselves, and totally abondoning them to the world.
I remember when I was growing up, my mom started by letting us make some decisions for ourselves. Stuff that she knew we could handle. I always joke that her starting the "fend for yourselves night" was because she was to lazy to fix dinner. But it was actually a good thing. It forced me to learn to cook for myself. She had taught us well enough about safety that she trusted us enough not to burn down the kitchen and to cook for ourselves. And it was time for us to apply that skill. Because of her, I will never go hungry. I am now able to make something out of nothing.
My parents always taught me to trust my inner voice. I remember that right before David and I started dating, I was talking to this one guy, who was 24. I was only 16. My dad could have screamed and said he'd call the cops on the guy if we started dating. But he didn't. He told me that he thought the guy was bad news and left it at that. I continued talking to the guy, but sensed that he wasn't quite right. He started showing signs of being a control freak. And I wasn't cool with that since my parents taught me to take shit from no man. I sat back and thought about it for a little while and figured, "You know what? Dad has never led me astray before. I think I'll just leave this guy alone." I think the guy is in jail now. I certainly dodged that bullet.
But could you imagine how my dad must've felt? I imagine he would have went ahead and called the law on him had it come down to it. But he trusted me enough to make the right decisions. I can't imagine how he must've felt, hoping that he was right in trusting me and that I'd leave the guy alone. I can only imagine that he must've felt the same as I do now. When is the right time to step in?
So anyway, now that I've rambled long enough. I guess my point is....
"What's the best way to teach your child to be indenpendent?" "When do you hang back?" "When do you step in?" "How do you know when your child IS finally independent?" "What things did your parents do that taught you to be independent?"
It's been real...It's been fun...But for now...I'm done!
BTW -- If you'd like to take part in the GBE, click on the link above and give it a go! Just be sure to state that "you're in" in a comment, send a friend request, and that your profile is set to public!
Your questions answered..........
Current mood: sleepy
Category: Games
Okay folks! Here are you're questions and there answers. Except I didn't do just 10. I did them all because: 1.) I didn't want anyone to feel left out, 2.)They were all very good questions anyway, and 3.) I am an interview whore. It would be sacreligious for me not to answer them all. I would normally provide links to the profile of all that asked me questions, but my "little 'puter that could" is being a "little 'puter who pisses me off right now". So away we go!...................
1.) From: Jean Has Been Shopping -- Have you ever shop-lifted? (No fair just saying yes or no. Gotta give the scoop if yes.)
Yes. When I was in my early teens. And it wasn't anything important either. (It never really is though is it?) Let's see, there was a few of those stupid little plastic cards that Spencer's used to sell. Like "License to bitch" etc. I stole some finger cuffs from a gas station, and a pen from the pharmacy in the mall. Oooooh! I know! I'm so bad ass! *rolls eyes* I should have tried for something really good, like underwear (I love new underwear) or something. Just incase I got caught. That way if I got caught, atleast it was for something worth while.
2.) From: Brenda -- I know that you and I do the same kind of work, is there any chance of you going back to school and getting your nursing degree?
I was planning on going back at the end of this year. But then my sister had her baby and I got saddled with baby sitting. And now that she's planning on going back to school, I think I might have to wait a little longer. Possibly until Ariana starts going to school. I think it's more important for Andrea to get through school first since she's a single mother. She needs to better herself more than I do right now. But that's okay. I can wait. If anything, I can atleast start taking what on-line classes I can and get those out of the way.
3.) From: Dew(ed) -- Describe the underwear you were wearing when you lost your virginity. Err... rather just before you lost it.
I asked David (which I realized was silly because he's color blind) because I can't remember what color they were. His answer was that he doesn't know. Surprise!......Actually, that's not really a surprise because he and I were both very shy (or atleast I was anyway) and got undressed in the dark and under the covers. It was a long time before I actually let him see me completely naked in the light. But knowing me, they were probably a cotton bikini cut from Haynes.
4.) From: Lisa, Momma, The Bitch, It's all the same to me! -- What is the worst date you have ever been on? With all the ugly details!
You know, I really can't say that I've had one! I had boyfriends before David, but none of them were very serious. And we never really went out on dates because I was either working or going to school. But if I had to pick one, I guess it'd be one of those days during the summer (we saw each other everyday during the summer) where David and I were just cruising around before I had to go to work, and I had to stop and throw up on the side of the road. I don't know why but I started feeling nauseated all of the sudden and had to throw up. But I don't know if that was considered a date. He and I had been dating for about a year and it had gotten to the point where it was just natural that when we weren't working, we were together.
5.) From: Jim -- Just how many licks does it take to reach the center of a tootsie roll pop?
Hehe! I have no idea because I'm a biter. Suckers really don't last long with me.
6.) From: Tonya -- You seem to love your job but if there was any other opportunity, what job would you like to have done besides the one you do?
I'd have my own deli or something like that. There'd be a little bit of everything. All the dishes that I know I can make well (so obviously there would be no pie since I suck at making pie). Like buttermilk fried chicken, chicken marsala, mashed potatoes, pork roast braised with apples and onions, corned beef and cabbage, lasanga, stuffed manitcotti, pork (or chicken or shrimp) fried rice, rissotto, shredded chicken burritos, cheese cake, soups, tiramasu, chocolate bread pudding, pina colada cake, etc.
7.) From: Origami Momi -- If you were going to paint the white house some other color, what color would you paint it?? -And would you use a brush or paint GUUUUUNS???
Hehe! First, I'd paint it lime green. Because there just isn't enough huge lime green buildings around. On this part I'd DEFINITELY use a spray gun. Have you ever used one of those? They are fuckin' FUN! When I used to help my dad paint houses, I loved it when I got to use the spray gun. Then I was thinkin' a mural might be nice. For some reason I keep thinking back to childhood when I'd look at my dad's Pink Floyd "The Wall" album cover. It folded out and it seems I remember seeing a big butt with legs that had a wig on. And a very scary looking face on it. I'd like to paint THAT on the white house. I have no idea why. But that's what I'd paint.
8.) From: BJ -- What's the thing that you did that you feel the most guilt over today?
Other than that thing about telling that girl to "sit on the floor where all dogs sit", nothing really. And not even that anymore since I made my peace with that. Either I have been pretty good to people or I have no concious. But I really don't feel any guilt.
9.) From: Wizard -- What would you call a perfect evening. You take the evening as late into the night as you would like...LOL!
Ummmm.....Well, what I would REALLY like is to not even have to think about it all. I honestly want to just let my hubby decide everything for the night. I know it should include dinner, drinks, maybe a movie. Hell, I'm happy even if it's just driving around like we used to when we first started dating. Maybe visit old haunts. Like the Falcon Motel! We used to rent rooms there a lot for a couple hours. There was this little itty bitty Indian guy that ran the place and he always wore leather gloves. I'm sure he thought I was a hooker.
But then I think about these lyrics I kept hearing in my head when I read that question........
"Oooooo oooooo!
You and me going fishing in the dark Lying on our backs and counting the stars Where the cool grass grows
Down by the river in the full moon light We'll be falling in love in the middle of the night Just moving slow
Staying the whole night through Feels so good to be with you"
It's called "Fishin' In The Dark" by The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band. That sounds like a good time too. Just he and I, a 12 pack of Miller Light, a blanket, and some fishin' poles......And probably some OFF. I hate the skeeters.
10.) From: Jimmy -- Would you, when you get to that age, like to be put in a nursing home?
HAHAHAHA!!!! Hell yes! I know it may sound like I'm crazy. But for one, I don't intend to be a burden to my family. They have my permission to place me in a home of caring for me becomes to much. And two! I'm going to rock that place! Because I'll have worked in one and know how everything goes. I know the staff will love me. My only regret is that I don't have apenis to make "my dick is so big" jokes with. Like....
"My dick is so big, it's a 2 person assist!" or "My dick is so big, I need a hoyer lift to hold it up when I take a piss!" or "My dick is so big, medicare had to pay for an extra bed just so they'd have a place to put it!"
*sigh* Seems like such a waste to not have apenis when that time comes!
11.) From: NiceinOhio (he gave 2 questions) -- What was your wildest sexual experience?
It was after I had Lilly. See, my breasts went from a D cup to a DDD cup over night. I could have fed Lilly until she was 30 if I had chosen to breast feed. But I didn't for fear of losing her under one of my tits should I fall asleep while breast feeding. Well anyway, after they had finally went back to their nearly normal size, I waited a couple weeks and figured I was all dried up. So David and I were fooling around (I paid no attention to the doc when he said to wait 6 weeks), I was sitting on the bed, and he was standing on his knees beside me. Don't ask me exactly we were doin' because I can't remember. All I remember is that I felt a couple drops of something wet fall on my thigh.
"WTF is that!?" I asked. David said he didn't know. And we went about our business. It happened again and I asked, "Did you just drool on me!?" He adamantly denied it. So I figured there had to be a leak in the ceiling. We turned on the lights, David inspected the ceiling but found nothing. Back to business again, when I feel the drops again.
content
sleepy
awake
contemplative