TWILIGHT HOURS OF NERVY CREATIVITY

THE WAY I HAVE BEEN BANGING ON ABOUT THE GLORIOUS AMERICANS LATELY ONE
MIGHT THINK I HAVE BEEN CONVERTED INTO A RIGHTWING SUPER~SIZED BUSH-SHITE. NO.
JUST THE JOY EXPERIENCED IN THE LAST TWO WEEKS HAS SOLIDIFIED A NEW FOUND APPEAL AND EXCITEMENT FOR THE GRAND US OF A.
WHO WOULD HAVE THUNK IT?
NAIVITY AND PURE, ASTONISHING RESPONSES TO THE SHOWS ARE THE REASON FOR THE SOFTENING OF OPINION. THE PEOPLE WERE WONDERFUL, THE NATURE OUTSTANDING, THE DOLLAR WEAK.

I AM PROUD OF US. WE INDEPENDENTLY, UNSUPPORTEDLY, POSSIBLY FINANCIALLY SUICIDALLY DID IT. WHEN I SAY WE, I MEAN YOU TOO.
YOU MADE IT HAPPEN, SO I THANK ALL OF YOU NUTTERS, UNRESERVEDLY.

AN INTERVIEWER SAID WE NOW LOOK LIKE A LITTLE FAMILY. *HOW SWEET* HE SAID.
SPENDING ENOUGH TIME WITH SOMEONE YOU TAKE ON THEIR TRAITS, THEIR WORDS, THEIR ANXIETIES. TO ME, THE ADDAMS FAMILY COMES TO MIND. RETARDS AND REJECTS, WORN OUT BY JETLAG, VODKA AND LAUGHTER.
ALL I KNOW IS WE NOW NEED SOME TIME ALONE . ALONE TIME.

(I INSERT A SMALL APOLOGY TO THE WAITERS ON THE NON BLOG OF LATE. NO EXCUSES NO LIES)

TONIGHT I AM SURROUNDED BY LARGE BLACK AND WHITE ANIMAL CUT OUTS, OVERBLOWN AND SINISTER. THEY ARE THE REMNANTS OF AN IAMX PHOTOSHOOT. AN ALICE IN WONDERLAND CONCEPT. FRIENDLY IN THAT CONTEXT, IN THE NOW TWILIGHT HOURS OF NERVY CREATIVITY, I AM AFRAID OF THEM. BUT I LOVE SHADOWS. SIMPLE WELL THOUGHT OUT SHADOW PLAY CAN CAPTURE MORE MEANING AND ATMOSPHERE THAN ANY MONEY OR CGI.
I DESPISE FILTHY MONEY WASTED ON A FEW HUGE RIDICULOUS CONCEPTS WHEN IT COULD HAVE BEEN USED TO FUEL A THOUSAND OF GENIUS. LOOK AT BERGMAN OR TARKOVSKY. BEAUTIFUL. ELEGANT. CLOSER TO REALITY.
PERHAPS ONLY PURITY OF EMOTION COMES THROUGH STRUGGLE.
I AM NOT COMPLETELY CONVINCED, BUT THERE IS A TRACK RECORD OF PEOPLE GAINING WEALTH AND FAME AND LOSING ALL IMAGINATION AND STRENGTH IN THEIR WORK. THEN AGAIN WHAT DO I EXPECT FROM HUMANS?

THEY SAY ANY PUBLICITY IS GOOD PUBLICITY. I SAY, FUCK THE PENDULOUS, ANTIQUATED BLOODSUCKING MEDIA.
WITH A TONGUE FIRMLY PLACED IN MY LEFT CHEEK OF COURSE BECAUSE THERE ARE GOOD PEOPLE EVERYWHERE .
AND YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

1:52 AM - 53 Comments - 113 Kudos - Add Comment

REALITY AND HORROR

CELEBRATE THE DIFFERENCE. A WORKING TITLE, A HOOK , A LITTLE SONGBIRD FOR
EVERYDAY LIVING. TEACH, REPEAT, RE-PROGRAM, RECONDITION.
OH THE WONDERS OF SELF AWARENESS .
IF HAPPINESS IS WITHIN THE REALMS OF THIS TEXT THEN I AM SAVED.
I MOVE ON.
IAMX SAVED MY LIFE. I HAVE THOUGHT AND MOANED AND FOUGHT AND DOUBTED BUT
THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY FORWARD FOR ME. POWER IS IN THE DETAILS AND ABSTRACT
STREAMS OF CONSCIOUSNESS ARE STUFFED FULL OF DETAILS.
CHAOS IS POWERFUL. LOVE IS CHAOS. HATE IS SIMPLER, EASIER.

I AM FEELING A LITTLE DAVID LYNCH IN MY SOUL THIS WEEK. THE KING OF REALITY AND
HORROR IN MY OPINION. HE MAKES THE MUNDANE OOZE WITH UNBEARABLE WEIGHT
AND PURPOSE. HE ALSO MEDITATES.
I MEDITATE TOO. IN MY FUTILE, LAZY, NOTHING WAY I HAVE PROLONGED STATES OF
BALANCE. MEDITATION. HAPPINESS? IN THAT IN BETWEEN THERE ARE NO QUESTIONS. I
CAN SWITCH OFF THE CLOCK.
IT DOES'NT LAST. BUT THEN IF THAT IS UNDERSTOOD YOU CAN SEE IT AS THE OVERALL
BALANCE OF THE BIGGER PICTURE AND THAT WORKS TOO.

DECISIONS MUST BE MADE. I AM VERY GOOD AT THE HUGE LIFE CHANGING DECISIONS
BUT FUMBLE THE SMALL ONES. THE ONES THAT MAKE THE WORLD GO AROUND.
THAT I NEED TO MASTER.
IN ONE CLEAR IMAGE I SAW MYSELF IN THE MIDDLE OF AN EAST GERMAN BACKWATER,
CLAWING FOR TRANQUILITY. BELONGING AND HIDING OUTSIDE THE CITY. LIVING WITH
THE STINKING WILD BOAR AND FORGIVING THEM FOR BEING ANIMALS. I LOVE ANIMALS
BUT SOMETIMES I WONDER WHAT THE FUCK I AM DOING WITH THIS 'LIFE PROJECT'.
AT LEAST MY STUDIO IS OPERATIONAL.
I CAN FINALLY START THE FINISHING OF IAMX3.

9:50 PM - 54 Comments - 84 Kudos - Add Comment

I WANT TO DOWN TOOLS

THE QUICK FIX MOBILE SOUL CULTURE IS A GRUBBY MANIFESTO OF IMMEDIATE, SATISFYING, COMPLIANT LIVING. I WANT TO DOWN TOOLS.

MY FIRST STEP IS THE PHONE. I HAVE DECIDED TO PUT IT DOWN.

NO MOBILE NO MISUNDERSTANDING NO EXPECTATION NO DISAPPOINTMENT.

IN THEIR LIBERATING THEY HAVE CAUSED FUNDAMENTAL SOCIAL DAMAGE. AT LEAST IN MY LIFE ANYWAY.

HOW DO WE SLOW THE PACE OF LIFE WITHOUT STEPPING OUT OF THE THE RACE?

THE IAMX DRIVER IS CALLED HARALD. HARALD IS A GREAT MAN.

HE IS FROM ANOTHER CENTURY. FULL OF HOPE, HUMOUR , ATTENTION TO DETAIL, SIMPLICITY OF ENJOYMENT AND PASSION FOR LEARNING. I IMAGINE HIS VERACITY FITTING TO A RENAISSANCE MOMENT. HE COULD LIVE WITHOUT A MOBILE PHONE. A WISE MAN.

HIS PACE IS A GOOD PACE.

I AM WRITING FULL TIME NOW. I FEEL IT WHEN IT COMES. ALMOST IN SEASONS.

EVEN IF I CANT RECORD OR PLAY, MY INSTINCT IS SOMEWHERE ELSE. IT IS A BIT LIKE A DISEASE OF MIS-CONCENTRATION. YOU ARE PHYSICALLY WITH PEOPLE BUT YOUR MIND IS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SECOND VERSE OF THE FOURTH SONG AND ON HOW THE BASS DRUM DOES'NT KICK LIKE IT SHOULD .

I HAVE COME TO REALISE IT IS SO MUCH A REFLEX PART OF ME. AND I ADORE IT.

THERE IS NO ME WITHOUT IT.

10:03 PM - 61 Comments - 81 Kudos - Add Comment

RELENTLESS PASTNESS

SO I FIND MYSELF FALLING INTO ANOTHER ONE OF MY OBSESSIONS.
I, CLAUDIUS HAS ME.

IN GENERAL ,I AM NOT PARTICLUARLY INTERESTED IN CONTEMPORARY
THINGS OF TODAY. I FIND THE ATMOSPHERE OF THE PAST MUCH MORE
INSPIRING. IT'S NOT THAT I DWELL ON THE PAST BECAUSE THAT WOULD
BE FATAL, BUT MORE APPRECIATE IT FOR ITS RELENTLESS PASTNESS.
THERE IS COMFORT IN THE LACK OF THREAT OF A PAST PIECE OF ART OR
MUSIC. IT REPRESENTS SOMETHING ATMOSPHERIC, SPIRITUAL AND
FRIENDLY. I RELATE TO IT BECAUSE FOR ME THE WORLD OF TODAY IS LOST.
I, CLAUDIUS IS THE ULTIMATE SOAP OPERA. AND I HATE SOAP OPERAS. BUT
IT HAS STYLE AND WEIGHT. AMAZING ACTING RIDICULOUS BUDGET SETS
AND GREAT TRAGIC COMEDY.

THE LAST THREE DAYS HAVE BEEN ABSURD. LAST NIGHT I WAS CALLED AND
ASKED TO DO A FESTIVAL THE NEXT DAY. WE PACKED UP, FLEW TO BELGIUM,
PLAYED, FLEW BACK TO BERLIN, PERFORMED 7 MINUTES OF NONSENSE AT
THE BERLIN FASHION WEEK, GOT INTO A VAN AND NOW WE ARE DRIVING
BACK TO BELGIUM TO PLAY ANOTHER FESTIVAL A FEW MILES UP THE ROAD.
TIRED AND WIRED, THE RECURRING TOURING FEELING.

MY FOCUS IS NOW ON THE WEBSITE WE ARE TRYING TO CREATE. I WANT TO
CREATE SOMETHING EXCLUSIVE. A LITTLE WORLD FOR THE FANS TO EXPLORE
AND BECOME A PART OF. I WANT TO RAISE THE VALUE OF THE ART. TO SURVIVE
AS A FLEXIBLE GIVING, INDEPENDENT PROJECT WE MUST OFFER SOMETHING
UNIQUE BUT WE ALSO NEED THE INPUT AND SACRIFICE OF THE FANS.
BASICALLY FUCK THE MUSIC INDUSTRY AND CREATE OUR OWN. WE ALL NEED
TO GET ON THIS. FAN AND ARTIST IF WE WANT THE GYPSY TROUP TO CONTINUE.

I WANT FEEDBACK. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU WANT FROM ME. I ALSO WANT
TO TELL YOU WHAT I NEED FROM YOU. IN THESE COLD , RISKY TIMES THIS COULD
BE THE LONG AWAITED BEGINNING OF A BEAUTIFUL FRIENDSHIP.

3:29 PM - 75 Comments - 85 Kudos - Add Comment

WAYS TO NAVIGATE THE COMING APOCALYPSE

ONE MUST CREATE A SENSE OF SELF. THIS IS MY TIP FOR SURVIVAL.
IF I CONSIDER THE TREES OUTSIDE THE TOURBUS WINDOW ARE CONTROLLING US TO DESTROY OURSELVES I GUESS WE NEED WAYS TO NAVIGATE THE COMING APOCALYPSE.

SO HERE I AM, TRAVELING TO PERFORM AT A FASHION SHOW. I HAVE A LOVE/HATE RELATIONSHIP WITH FASHION. IN SOME WAYS IT DISGUSTS ME ,IN OTHERS IT ENERGISES. HIDING BEHIND A MASK ,OR EVEN BETTER BECOMING THAT MASK ,CAN BE A WONDERFUL PLACE TO EXPERIMENT.
I ADMIT THAT I REALLY QUITE LIKE ZOO MAGAZINE HERE IN BERLIN. I LIKE THE WAY IT BALANCES GENDERS WHEN IT USES SEX TO SELL. USUALLY I SEE ONLY WOMEN BEING USED OR USING THEMSELVES, BUT THE MEN GET PAINTED , GLAMMED UP AND STRIPPED DOWN TOO. I RECENTLY FOUND OUT IT IS RUN BY BRYAN ADAMS, WHICH WAS A SHOCK. NOW I CANT HELP BUT THINK OF
'EVERYTHING I DO....' WHEN I SEE SOME INCREDIBLE OUTLANDISH ARTICLE IN THE MAGAZINE. DOES'NT REALLY FIT.

THAT IS ALWAYS THE DILEMMA FOR THE INDEPENDENT ARTIST. HOW DO YOU SELL YOURSELF TO SUPPORT YOURSELF WITHOUT WHORING YOURSELF?
IT HAUNTS ME. IF ART WAS INDULGED AND FUNDED MORE THEN MONEY WOULD'NT HAVE TO TAINT IT(IN SOME NAIVE UTOPIA)
I SEE ONLY A HORRIBLE STEW OF BUSINESS, FAME AND CELEBRITY IN THE COMMERCIAL INDUSTRY. I CANT THINK OF A MORE REVOLTING MIX.
WE MUST STICK TO THE PATH. AND YOU MUST STAY WITH US.

SOMETIMES IAMX FEELS LIKE A SMALL RELIGION.

6:08 PM - 48 Comments - 71 Kudos - Add Comment

BRUTAL DECONSTRUCTION

SOMEBODY TOLD ME I AM TOO NEGATIVE IN MY WRITING.
I SAID IT JUST ALLOWS ME TO OFFLOAD AND BE THE EXUBERANT , JOYOUS,
COMICAL SOUL OF THE PARTY THAT I AM IN REAL LIFE. I ALSO GREW UP IN A
NORTHERN ENGLISH SMALL TOWN SO CYNICISM WAS A LIFELINE.

IT IS 3.24 IN THE MORNING AND THAT FUCKER ABOVE IS REPEATING 'MY WAY' BY SID
VICIOUS OR SOMETHING PAINFUL FOR THE 50TH TIME. I HAVE A VISION OF BUYING A
POTATO GUN LIKE THE ONE I HAD WHEN I WAS A CHILD AND SHOOTING HIM IN THE
FOREHEAD. THAT KIND OF MINDLESS FRUSTRATED VIOLENT THOUGHT IS UNUSUAL FOR
ME BECAUSE IT IS ,ALONG WITH SEX AND RELIGION, THE ROOT OF ALL PROBLEMS AND
I DESPISE IT , BUT APPARENTLY IT IS GOOD TO OWN EMOTIONS,HOWEVER FLEETING
,AND TO VENT WHEN POSSIBLE. I THINK THE HURTFUL CONSEQUENCES OF THIS ACTION
DO NOT OUTWEIGH THE PLEASURE OF INDULGING THE FANTASY, HENCE , I GO WITH
IT.


IMOGEN INTRODUCED ME TO TED.COM A FEW MONTHS AGO. I AM HOOKED. I HAVE
REDISCOVERED THE DORMANT GEEK IN ME. DIGGING UP PRE MUSIC INTELLIGENCE IS A
DIFFICULT TASK BUT QUITE AMAZING.
I HAVE PUT THE REMIX FOR 'THE MUSIC' ON HOLD IN ORDER TO DO A REWORK OF
PRESIDENT FOR THE US RELEASE AROUND THE TOUR IN SEPTEMBER.
I AM THINKING BRUTAL DECONSTRUCTION TO BALANCE THE ACOUSTIC VERSION.

I FEEL ANGRY.

1:31 AM - 80 Comments - 121 Kudos - Add Comment

EMERALDS AND ENVY

I FEAR THAT THE WEATHER CONTROLS ME. I AM BURIED IN WORK
UNDER THE GROUND IN MY BERLIN BASEMENT TRYING MY HARDEST
TO CONCENTRATE BUT THE BRIGHT DAYS ARE SO TEMPTING AND
MY HANDS ARE COLD.

WORKING ON THE NEW STUDIO BUILDING OUT OF TOWN IS A
BEAUTIFUL ANTIDOTE TO MY MOLE LIKE EXISTENCE. I HAVE TO
MAKE MORE EXCUSES TO GET OUT THERE. THE MANUAL LABOUR
IS GREAT FOR MY MOODS. TRYING TO KEEP STREAMS OF
CONSCIOUSNESS BRIEF IS A PROBLEM SO HOPEFULLY YOU CAN
EMPATHISE WITH ME IN MY STRUGGLE TO WRITE A BLOG.
(GOD , I HATE THAT WORD- POETRY IN LIFE IS RAPIDLY EVAPORATING)

THIS WEEK I LIKE GREEN. TREES, EMERALDS AND ENVY.

OK I MUST FINISH THE REMIX FOR 'THE MUSIC' AND START MIXING
DOWN THE STRING TRACKS. ENOUGH NONSENSE.

1:19 PM - 53 Comments - 92 Kudos - Add Comment

TRAVELLING CIRCUS

IN THE WORLD THERE IS A HORROR OF PLAGUES.
TOO MANY DECISIONS, OPPORTUNITIES AND CHOICES MAKE PEOPLE WEAK.
THE POST SHOW/TRAVEL TRAUMA COMPOUNDS IT .
IN THIS FRAME OF MIND I HAVE DECIDED TO MAKE A BOLD, POSITIVE MOVE TO
REFRESH MYSELF AND SNAP OUT OF IT.

WE WILL DO THE US TOUR. IT IS A TRAVELLING CIRCUS HEADFUCK AND WE WILL LOSE
MONEY, SLEEP AND FRIENDS BUT IT HAS TO BE WORTH IT.
GOING BACK TO THE STATES FILLS ME WITH JOY ACTUALLY. I HAVE A CHILDLIKE
BUTTERLY FEELING ABOUT IT NOW. WHICH IS IRONIC SINCE I HAD SUCH A BAD TIME
THERE IN MY EARLY MUSICAL LIFE, BUT THAT WAS ME IN MY OWN SELF CONSTRUCTED
CONFUSION , NOT THEM.

I FEEL LIKE I WANT TO GIVE THEM SOMETHING SPECIAL. THEY WERE SUCH
SWEETHEARTS LAST TIME. MAYBE AN EXTRA ACOUSTIC PERFORMANCE FOR SOLD OUT
SHOWS AND GOODIES ETC.. NOT SURE.. WILL THINK ABOUT IT.
WRITING A BLOG IS STRANGE BUT IT IS QUITE COMFORTING . ANOTHER EXCUSE TO
TALK RUBBISH AND BE HEARD. WE ALL JUST WANT TO BE LOVED.

8:01 AM - 66 Comments - 97 Kudos - Add Comment

THE BEGINNING OF A DIARY

SO I GUESS THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF A DIARY. RANDOMLY FROM NOWHERE.
THE LIVE ALBUM IS DONE AND MY BRAIN HURTS.
THE WEEK OF DIGGING AND THINKING WAS TIRING. I HAVE BEEN TOLD TO WRITE SOMETHING WHEN I OPEN MY EYES EVERY MORNING.
IT IS THE BEST TIME BECAUSE IT IS PURE AND THERE IS A ROUTINE .
I DON'T RESPOND WELL TO PRESSURE.

I HAVE STUPIDLY STARTED ANOTHER LIVE VISUAL FOR T.W.M.Y.L.A . I SHOULD
FINISH IT BEFORE THE CZECH FESTIVAL THIS WEEKEND.
CROSS MY HEART AND HOPE TO DIE.
GOD ,THE ENGLISH CAN BE SO DEPRESSIVE.


CCX

2:47 AM - 49 Comments - 72 Kudos - Add Comment

GREECE

I CAME BACK FROM ATHENS TODAY. MY NECK HURTS AND EARS ARE POPPING.
THE GREEKS WERE INSANE AND FABULOUS. I KNOW I HAVE TO CRAWL INTO INTO MY DUNGEON BASEMENT STUDIO AND FINISH THIS LIVE RECORD THIS WEEK SO THAT TAKES THE EDGE OF MY SHOW HIGH.
AS SWIFT AS IT WAS, I WANT TO THANK THEM FOR THEIR SPIRIT AND WARMTH ON OUR FIRST TRIP THERE. THEY SHOULD BE PROUD OF THE NOISE THEY MADE.
I THINK I LOST A GOLDEN GLOVE.
ANY IDEAS?

CC

2:32 PM - 16 Comments - 32 Kudos - Add Comment

IAMX climbing the RPM chart!

IAMX first single, SPIT IT OUT, has been number 4 Most Added Track on CMJ, in the first week of release in the US.

Spit It Out, also made its debut at Number 38 on CMJ RPM CHART, and has in just a couple of days climbed 12 places and is now 26!!

Go HERE for a complete list of radio stations that have added IAMX so far.

If you want to support the band, please find your local station on the list and call/e-mail them and let them know you want to hear Spit It Out more.

The band will be playing a 5-city-tour in the US in September, the dates will be announced soon.

3:29 AM - 18 Comments - 28 Kudos - Add Comment