Nice Guys VS. Jerks
Current mood: frustrated
Category: Romance and Relationships

1. He's probably a jerk if he tells you to skip desert because your butt already jiggles enough.
2. He's definitely a jerk if he "guilts" you into doing things that make you feel bad about yourself -- usually starting with the line "If you really cared about me..."
3. He's absolutely a jerk if he takes you on a date and leaves you the bill, while he leaves with the waitress.

She Says vs. He Says: Do Single Women Really Like Dating Jerks? .. --> sub head -->

.. --> author(s) -->By Christine Hassler and Jason Ryan Dorsey
Special to Yahoo! Personals

http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/datingtips/74753/she-says-vs-he-says-do-girls;_ylc=X3oDMTF1YTBpOTk1BF9TAzI3MTYxNDkEc2VjA2ZwX3RvZGF5BHNsawNzaGUtc2F5cy12cy1oZS1zYXlzLWRvLWdpcmxzBHp6A2Fi

Currently listening : It’s Time By Michael Bublé Release date: 2005-02-08

12:40 - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Passing of a friend.....
Current mood: depressed
Category: Pets and Animals

  It's been quite a while since I've put pen to paper…..or fingers to keyboard, but, I felt the need to cleanse my mind after something that occurred yesterday. A member of my family passed away. Actually, she was put to sleep. See, she was our family pet. Her name was Sadie. I firmly believe that she loved my son, my ex-wife and I as much as we loved her. Just so you can be acquainted with her memory, let me tell you some incidents that helped define how she came to be in our life.

  Jill (my ex-wife), Kevin and I returned from Germany early in 1995. We had an assignment to Lackland AFB. Jill was, and still is, a surgical tech. While in Germany, we met a family who had transferred back to the U.S. a year before we did. To our surprise, we located them at Lackland. They had acquired a puppy. Only now, the puppy was a 50 pound black Lab mix named Sadie. Shortly thereafter, the family had new orders……to England. Unfortunately for them (and fortunately for us, it turned out), England has a mandatory six-month quarantine for all incoming pets. The family couldn't bear to subject Sadie to the quarantine, so they asked if we would take Sadie. We agreed…and gained a valuable addition to our family.

  I used to joke that she had to be part cat…….several instances support this belief. One summer evening, as Sean was driving to the coast pulling a boat, Sadie, who was in the camper shell of the pick-up, managed to open the inner latch and, spying something on the side of the road, jumped out…..at 60 MPH. The boat trailer narrowly missed her, but she still slid a good distance on her paws. They were torn and bloody, but Sean and a couple of friends from the truck tended and bandaged her paws and continued to the coast. Once there, Sadie was enjoying herself running up and down the beach. Right up until she stumbled across a jellyfish that had washed up on the beach. Yep, she was repeatedly stung by the jellyfish requiring additional medical attention. She got it and survived. For those of you keeping count……that's at least 2 lives down.

  About six months later, she, Sean and a friend were jogging on base late one night. I walked out of my home and they came over. Just as Sadie went to cross the street, a black Volkswagen rounded the corner and bounced Sadie off the front bumper. The VW was running without lights. The 3 of us tended to her, but miraculously, she was only stunned. As for the VW, however……, Sean was a military policeman and with the assistance of myself, the other friend and a few others, we tracked down the VW. Seems a dependant and under-age son of a Military Training Instructor was out after curfew and without his father's knowledge. The father took care of the rest.

  Again, for those of you keeping count…..that's 3 down. Thus, we welcomed Sadie into our home…and family. She always welcomed us home….tail wagging and making sure that we were alright. One of her peculiarities was that in spite of being a black Lab mix……if it was raining, she'd just about cross her back legs and hold it rather than go outside. She was an ideal watchdog, companion and member of the family. We thought that she might welcome a play-mate for those times when we were working. So, Jill found a black terrier-mix. Funny thing is…..Ginger was almost an exact clone of Sadie…..albeit scaled-down. They worked out a strategy whenever someone they didn't know came to visit. Ginger would bark and get their attention, while Sadie would simply sneak up from behind and "accidentally" bump into their legs. Several of our friends were more than a little shocked to have their attention diverted by a 20 pound terrier-mix and then be jostled by an 80 pound Lab.

  I'd known for some time that Sadie wasn't in the best of health. The last time I visited my son, she knew who I was and made me feel welcome, but I knew that she was hurting. Jill has repeatedly taken her to the vet. Per the vet, Sadie had numerous tumors appearing throughout her body. Some were operable, most were not. Finally, Sadie developed several in her throat. Per the vet, she was in pain and she'd lost the ability to bark. At that point, Jill agreed to have Sadie put to sleep. Jill told me that she couldn't bear to see Sadie in pain and, as much as it hurt her and Kevin, she felt that she had to do what was best for Sadie.

  Sadie was a member of my family for 12 years. She was about 2 when she joined our family and I feel that we're the better for her. Sadie always seemed to know when we were hurting or not feeling well and she'd lay her head in our lap. Soon, the pain or the nausea would just go away. I honestly think that we not so much trained her, but rather, she trained us. Thank you, Sadie.

Currently listening : The Very Best of Diana Krall By Diana Krall Release date: 18 September, 2007

01:43 - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Antics in the workplace
Current mood: relaxed
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

Well, since this topic was chosen by my opponent, I'll simply have to, in all fairness......hell, most applications only go back 10 years, be forced to limit my experience base. I've worked in a potato chip factory, worked construction, laid carpet, pumped gas, delivered auto parts, military (active and civilian) for 22 years, ran a couple of bowling centers, administered telephone and on-line customer service with a bank for 6 years and dealt cards at a casino (where I'm currently at). For the purpose of "leveling the playing field". I'll discuss my current job, several incidents in the military, and the bank.

My first assignment in the military was to an out-of-the-way base in Suffolk, England. It's called R.A.F. Lakenheath. My initial job description was to deliver (and pump) fuel to aircraft....either transit flights or aircraft stationed at the base. The description for this job is P.O.L. Ostensibly, it stands for "Petroleum, Oils and Lubricants". Unofficially (very off-the record) we referred to ourselves as "Prisoners Of Lakenheath", Peons On Lease", "Painting, Oddjobs, and Landscape"  and, perhaps, the label that most closely fit......"Perverts, Oddballs and Lunatics". For the record, I considered myself an oddball.....LOL!! On several occasions, we had a little ritual that we were duty-bound to partake in....it was the last day for personnel being transferred back to the U.S. This involved some creative planning and sheer animal cunning.  On a person's last "duty-day", they were soaked by a variety of hoses, thrown bodily into the Emergency Water Supply, or, in one particular case, hung upside-down and sprayed repeatedly......during January!!!  I remember the individual that made the mistake of commenting "Oh, it's close enough for government work." with an inspector directly behind him during an exercise. I remember the sergeant (who's ONLY claim to fame was that he played on the Air Force basketball team) who decided (with WHAT, I don't know) to use his fuel truck to open a recalcitrant door on a truck shelter.....the bumper looked like a gum wrapper when he was done. I remember during one exercise....when we supposed to be "roughing it", that we walked across the road and ordered pizza! I remember the airman who, while drunk, cussed out an officer and then mistook a wall locker for the urinal during the pizza exercise......the squad leader wasn't reall happy about that....particularly since the wall locker was HIS.....LMAO!!!

While at the bank, I worked both telephone and on-line customer service.......however, the following exchange ACTUALLY took place while I was telephone customer service........(for this, I'll be the CSR....and yes, these calls were monitored) and the customer was a female.
CSR: Thank you for calling (fill in the bank)....how can I help you?
Customer: I just moved and need to change my address.
CSR: OK, your account number, name and a recent deposit to verify you are who you say you are.
Customer: My account number is #-----------, my name is Lt. Smith and my last deposit was $####.
CSR: OK, what is your new address?
Customer: I just became an officer and I moved to Phoenix, AZ. The street address is 12345 Main St. and the zip is 54321.
CSR: Thank you Lieutenant, I've updated your information.....is there anything else I can do for you?
Customer: No, sir.....thank you very much.
A few minutes later, the phone rings and a call for new checks comes in.......
CSR: Thank you for calling (fill in the bank)....how can I help you?
Customer: I just moved and need to order new checks.
CSR: OK, your account number, name and a recent deposit to verify you are who you say you are.
Customer: My account number is #-----------, my name is Lt. Smith and my last deposit was $####.
CSR: OK, what is your new address?
Customer: I just became an officer and I moved to 12345 Main St.
CSR: That's in Phoenix, AZ...isn't it? With the zip of 54321.
Customer: That's AMAZING!!!! HOW did you know THAT???
CSR: Well, Lieutenant.....I'm psychic.
Customer: REALLY????
CSR: You wouldn't happen to be blonde, would you??
Customer: Why....yes, I am.....why do you ask?
CSR: Just wanted to tell you to have a good day.
I swear by all that is holy that this actually happened.......and I was fortunate enough to be the CSR!

As I stated, I'm now a professional Blackjack Dealer at a local casino and just enjoy making my customers laugh. As such, I have a regular repetoire of jokes that I love to use on unsuspecting customers. For these examples, I'm always going to be the dealer....

Situation: The customer has an Ace and a 5 showing.....the customer wants to double their bet and get a card.....I deal another five and say "OK, that's either 11 or 21....your choice." You'd be surprised at just how many people have to pause to make up their mind....LOL!!

Situation: I've just dealt a blackjack to a customer. When their turn comes to get paid....I simply ask "Are you sure you don't want to double-down?" I've actually had a wife hit her husband with her purse when he started to do so......LOL!!
I've been told that I really shouldn't give people who have been drinking alcohol these choices.....LOL!!

Situation: Six people at my table......a vivacious young lady starts to light up a cigarette.
Dealer: Miss...if you're going to smoke at my table...could you do me a favor???
Customer: Sure.....do you want me to blow it away?
Dealer: No, blow it this way....it's a long time between smoke breaks.
Hasn't failed to get a laugh yet.

02:53 - 3 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Plea for a friend....
Current mood: worried
Category: Writing and Poetry

As my friends well know, I'm not prone to writing poetry. However, I feel compelled to attempt it in response to a friend's unspoken request.

There are fearfully few in this world,
with such an innocence of heart,
Heavily burdened,trying to please,
those who's goals are so very apart.

Ethics, and morals, and plans of light,
are dictated by others, who's goals are base.
A crime is commited by those thoughtless ones,
depriving the world of a crystalline vase.

A receptacle of love and life and nurturing soul,
a prismatic shimmer of warm light hidden in a smile,
I cherish her friendship and company,
all the more due to the lack of her guile.

Pulled by various forces in myriad directions,
distorted in an attempt to please them all,
Plunged into depression by the size of the task,
a vow I'll make...all you need do is call.

Currently listening : The Greatest Hits of All By George Benson Release date: 08 July, 2003

12:49 - 6 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

Slimeball VS. Sleazeball
Current mood: frustrated
Category: Romance and Relationships

I've noticed the disturbing presence of several types of male predator in the past few months. While described a bit differently, they are remarkably similar. In fact, you could say that they're different sides of the same coin. For the sake of this discussion, well call them Slime-balls vs. Sleaze-balls.  I've come to the conclusion that in order for each to justify their existence, they require a female, preferably someone with low self-esteem and even lower expectations. There are some similarities between the two, please allow me to name just a few..

1- ) very glib and persuasive
2- ) borderline alcoholics (tends to end up drunk at a bar when off-work)
3- ) extremely shallow personalities
4- ) early in life, no clear-cut plans or ambitions and when older, subject to several mid-life identity crises.
5- ) very control-conscious individuals
6- ) VERY opinionated
7- ) tend to have multiple on-going relationships (they both consider themselves so-called players)
8- ) can be very charming when they want something...or someone

Here are a few of the ways that they tend to differ from each other:

1- ) Slime-balls -do things to the females friends
     Sleaze-balls -have the female do things to her friends

2- ) Slime-balls -are not concerned with their appearance or image
      Sleaze-balls -are very concerned with their appearance and image

3- ) Slime-balls -have problems with their finances, often sponging off the female
      Sleaze-balls -often flash a huge wad of cash (normally ones with a couple of larger bills on either side) primarily used to lure or impress women

4- ) Slime-balls -very often don't allow the female to have friends
      Sleaze-balls -tend to alienate the female from her friends

5- ) Slime-balls -tend to work in virtually any menial labor job
      Sleaze-balls -tend to occupy positions of minor authority (menial labor is beneath them)

Neither of these individuals can truly be described as being classy people.  True, the Sleaze-ball makes a pretense of showing class, but, it's all a façade. For example, if your dog takes a dump in the corner and you don't have time to pick it up, but instead put a paper towel over it, it looks better, but its still dog-crap inside. The Slime-ball doesnt even bother with the paper towel.  Class isn't about what you wear, or what you drive, or how you talk. It's how you treat people. Those people that you've just met, those you've known for a while and those who are complete strangers. Its about how you conduct yourself when no one else is watching.  Class is about doing something for someone with no expectations other than their friendship.  Class is about following a set of personal guidelines, to include morals and ethics, in your interpersonal life.  Class is about not making promises you can't keep and keeping those that you do make, regardless of cost to yourself.

Just like women have the ability to read each other, men have the ability (to a lesser extent) to read other men, as well.  During the course of my lifetime, rarely have I mis-read someone. On those few occasions I have, I'm quick to apologize. However, I take an instant dislike to a person when their very presence makes me uncomfortable.  A very few, like the Sleaze-ball and the Slime-ball, make the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I refer to people like these (males and females) as "jackals" or "hyenas". By that I mean that they tend to hang around the outside of someone elses relationship spreading lies and rumors until the person they have their eyes on splits up and then, they jump in. Once they've gotten what they want, they move on and wreck someone elses life.  When two people are in a relationship, I view them as hands-off. There are exceptions to this, or course. Abuse of any kind (mental, emotional or physical), tends to offend my innermost core. I find any abusive relationship as abhorrent.

Currently listening : The Best of Al Jarreau By Al Jarreau Release date: 05 November, 1996

03:12 - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Life's Little Pleasures....
Current mood: optimistic
Category: Life

I'm frequently amazed by the diversity that we enjoy throughout life, but in too many cases, simply don't see the beauty before us. Let's see, of course, there is nature with its infinite variations. However, each of us sees this from our own unique perspective. What is breath-taking to one may be simply "Ho-Hum" to another. Case in point, while living in Portland, Oregon, I had to drive up the I-205 loop to reach Vancouver, Washington. It was easier to go through Vancouver than it was to fight the traffic through Portland while enroute to my job on an island between the two. Anyway, one brisk morning, traffic stalled with me directly over the bridge into Vancouver. I had my coffee, my cigarettes and the music was playing. I was at peace with the world and myself. I happened to glance down the Columbia River and pretty near dropped everything!!! It was breathtakingly beautiful. The river was disappearing into the mountains and the mists. Directly behind Mt. Hood, the sun was just starting to break through. I can't imagine another scene that would have that effect on me. However, I know that there are. That's called faith and wonderment. I've traveled the world once or twice and seen visions of beauty virtually everywhere I've been. It's there, all you have to do is look.

Another example of "pleasures" are those that we cause to happen ourselves. Hearing the sound of a well-hit golf ball makes me want to go out and do it again and again, unfortunately, my ability just doesn't compare to my enthusiasm....LOL!!  Throwing a perfect strike provides a great deal of enjoyment. It doesn't happen often enough (LOL!!), but those times it does provides me with the impetus that I need to continue. Attaining a high-score on a video game or surpassing the scores of a friend is also thoroughly enjoyable. By extrapolation, that of having caused it ourselves, holding one's new-born child brings a feeling that is almost mystical in its intensity and sense of accomplishment. Purchasing one's first car or house brings a feeling of intense satisfaction and, I suppose, wonder that you were able to fulfill this goal.

Another source of  enjoyment is also a bit of a "double-edged sword". Unfortunately, this one involves human interaction. Inevitably, whenever a choice is made, someone feels slighted. On the flip side of that coin, another individual is elated. Therein lies the "double-edged" sword. The choice or actions of one is the basis of pain for another. Whether the chooser knowingly does so is a topic that I don't wish to engage in at this time. Following the next logical course of action (I know, I know....when dealing with people, logic often "goes out the window"), people that we care about become the source of much elation and enjoyment. Conversely, whenever someone we care about is hurting, we feel their pain via empathy. Words need not be spoken. Body language and facial features often scream out our moods. The best that we can hope for is consistency in our verbal and non-verbal communications. Although this sounds ridiculously easy, the opposite is true.

From my own perspective, I simply don't like playing games. I advocate and try my damndest to adhere to honesty with others, as little deception as possible and no "hidden meanings". Basically, what you see is what you get. There is a side effect of this, however. I tend to believe in the best of people. Granted, I'm often disappointed, but I still continue to follow my heart and will do so until I lie on my deathbed. I find joy in the pleasure I can bring to others, as well. Unlike several others that I've come across over the years, I'll often do something for someone without an expectation of anything in return other than friendship, companionship and a friendly ear or shoulder, if needed. The sheer simplicity of my personal philosophy is one that a great many people just can't comprehend. Yes, I take a type of vicarious pleasure in the confusion on their faces as they attempt to understand my stance. However, that same "double-edged sword" sometimes has an influence, as well. I've found that by bringing pleasure to one person, I've, at times, inadvertently overlooked someone else.

Currently listening : Styx - Greatest Hits By Styx Release date: 22 August, 1995

10:57 - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Ruts in our lives....
Current mood: thoughtful
Category: Life

I was just thinking about those times that I'd gotten myself into a rut where I'd go to work, go home and sleep. Then get up and do it all over again. Of course, there were those-every-once-in-a-while times when friends would invite me for something out of the ordinary. I suppose, hindsight being what it is, that I'd convinced myself I was happy and content. Over the course of a 5 year period, I averaged between 70-75 hours of work a week. The main reason for this was my divorce after 11 years. I basically threw myself into my work as an escape so that I wouldn't have the time to think about having failed. After doing some rather deep soul-searching, I'd become fairly complacent about life and my role in it.

It's actually kind of sad.....for someone who values the beauty that nature offers in her infinite variations, I'd become somewhat innured to the grandeur of nature. However, there were times that I'd become active, but only within my own "comfort zone". There's an old adage that the only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. Suddenly, out of the blue comes a new project, hobby or person and I become fascinated by virtually everything. Hobbies and projects I view as something to master, since I'm guilty of one of those prideful items - "over-achievement". New people, however, are not so easily identifiable. Getting to know their moods, via body language or visual signs, is a challenge completely alien to any hobby or project that I may have undertaken. I found myself yanked out of my safe and secure world, kicking and screaming, to a brand-new level of reality brimming with dangers and perils. The funny thing is that I enjoy it!! Complacency is fine, in its place, but actually pretty boring.

This is the situation I currently find myself in. Not being able to predict the future is something I find to be invigorating. All this has been caused because of a new friendship. Maybe its my "White Knight" persona rearing his helm-covered head, but I feel oh-so-alive at this moment. My work ethic still stands as it always had, but I now discover that I have a life outside of work, as well. I find myself in places that, several months ago, I wouldn't have pictured myself in, doing things that I had no prior interest in, and have someone else to exchange ideas with. The fact that this person views me as a father/mentor probably explains a great deal, for the feelings are reciprocal.

I suppose that I'd simply allowed myself to forget the infinite diversity found in life because of the emotional pain that it caused. As with all other times in my life when I'd been hurt, I closed off that part of my brain that required interaction and focused on the task/tasks at hand. For all intents and purposes, I was just existing. All it took for me to realize what I'd been missing was the introduction of a random variable......my friend. Things that I take for granted, my friend views with wide-eyed amazement. I'm both intrigued and tasked to see things in the same light that they are. It's very enlightening and, at the same time, a bit humbling.

Currently listening : Songs from the Big Chair By Tears For Fears Release date: 13 March, 2001

03:56 - 5 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Tagged!
Current mood: mischievous
Category: Friends

So the rules are, once you've been tagged, you have to write a blog with "6 weird/things/habits about yourself". In the end you need to choose the 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says, "you are tagged" in their comments and tell them to read yours.

1. I've been told that I'm a bit naive when viewing the world around me. I tend to see things in terms of black and white as opposed to varying shades of gray. Translated, it simply means that I'm not cynical and trying to "read" things that just aren't there.

2. I am a sports fan, not a fanatic....LOL!! I tend to follow the same teams regardless of their records. Suffice to say, I'm definitely NOT a bandwagon jumper. Just don't want the inherent splinters......LOL!! As an example, probably the ultimate in frustration is to proclaim yourself a "Saints" fan, while living in San Antonio.

3. I was, at one time, a gifted musician. I could play most instruments in the band with a fair degree of competence. In fact, I was able to attend Louisiana Tech University on a band scholarship. However, the years of non-use have eroded those skills. Due to my background, I'm probably something of a musical snob.

4.  Close friends tell me that I have a good singing voice. Personally, I just think that they're being nice, so I don't believe them. However, I'm building my nerve to find out at karaoke one night. Not to worry, I'll issue a warning first.....LOL!!

5. During my military career, I've been around the world once or twice. While stationed in England, I took a train up to Scotland and spent Christmas in Edinburgh.  I've had the pleasure of visiting Paris, Amsterdam, Toronto and Rome. On the other side of the equation, I've also been stationed in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia during Desert Shield/Storm.

6. It's been said that I'm somewhat strong-willed. That may be true, but I prefer to think of myself as having a strong character subject to my own morals and ethics. There's an old saying that, "God won't give you more than you can handle." I just wish He didn't have so much faith in me...LOL! 

There....and it wasn't as painful as I thought it'd be. Now I have to list those fortunate individuals that I'm about to "TAG".

I'm tagging:
Crystal
Anthony
Alf
Shelley
Christina
Brenda

Currently listening : The Look of Love By Diana Krall Release date: 18 September, 2001

03:13 - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Best Intentions........
Current mood: confused
Category: Life

I must admit to being a bit puzzled lately. In attempting to clarify a misperception on the part of some people I proudly call friends, apparently I've just made matters worse. Part of that is a lack of realization on my part about just how much influence I seem to have. One of my favorite sayings is "I just call 'em as I see 'em". Recently, its been pounded into my head repeatedly that just because I see something a certain way, others may view it quite differently. I'm at a loss to describe this adequately. Is it simply the younger generation looking at the same set of circumstances that I do, but are looking at it with a cynical eye seeking a hidden meaning? Is it a matter of perception, whereas I view things in black and white, while others view from a jaundiced viewpoint? A more serious question then arises unbidden from the recesses of my mind, is my self-governing code of ethics and morals simply too much for others to understand?

One of the characters from a series that I read has a set of iron-clad beliefs that he lives his life by. Granted, I don't profess to be the same larger-than-life character that he is, however, I try to "do the right thing". I tend to use his set of beliefs as a guideline and a method of determining the path that I walk. They go something like this:" Never violate a woman, nor harm a child. Do not lie, cheat or steal. These things are for lesser men. Protect the weak against the evil strong. And never allow thoughts of gain to lead you into the pursuit of evil." You may think that these beliefs are fairly simple and easy to follow. However, that's where you may be mistaken. The first two items; never violate a woman nor harm a child; are fairly self evident. I find either of these acts to be abhorrent and have risked my physical well-being on several occasions to defend them. In cases involving women and children, my "Protector" mode comes into play because I see things in black and white with little or no middle ground.  Lying, cheating and stealing are a little more difficult to quantify. Lies, even little white ones, are often used to lessen the pain that a loved one might feel if some truth was known. Cheating is a concept that I have no tolerance for. When you take an oath and/or make a promise, they should be kept if at all possible. Since a man (or woman) is only as good as their word, these promises should be kept regardless of personal pain. Stealing.......well, that would include taking things that don't belong to you. However, our society has lessened the severity of this by using such phrases as "steal one's breath away", or "stealing a kiss", etc. As such, we don't view this as seriously as we once did. "These things are for lesser men (women)." This phrase pretty much speaks for itself. "Protect the weak from the evil strong." To me, this means to assist those I view in need or distress and help them learn to protect themselves. Finally, "and never allow thoughts of gain lead you into the pursuit of evil." This is perhaps the most difficult concept to understand.....but I'll attempt to explain it. To me, when I help someone, I do so without thinking of what I can get out of it. If I'm fortunate enough to gain a friendship, then that's all I seek. Although I may miss the companionship of said friend when they venture out on their own, I'm don't intend to come across as threatening. If I do, its only because I'm concerned for the welfare of my friend, nothing more. There are no "hidden meanings" or "secret agendas". My actions are meant to be construed as just what they are.  

In a recent episode of helping a friend, I not only gained a friendship, but a "pseudo-daughter" as well. Much to my surprise, I find that I'm viewed in a similar light from my friend. However, it has come to my attention that a few individuals have attempted to uncover a hidden meaning when there simply isn't any. In this respect, my "best intentions" have been a bit misconstrued,  and I resent this. At the same time, I don't harbor any grudges or ill feelings because, in their own way, they're concerned for my friend, as well.

Currently listening : Hits By Phil Collins Release date: 06 October, 1998

03:40 - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Didja ever????
Current mood: pensive
Category: Life

Have you ever made decisions based solely on your emotions at the time instead of reasoning it out using logic? With hindsight being 20/20, looking back objectively at those instances, would you have made the same choices? I believe that I touched upon this in my previous blog attempt. Rather surprisingly, this is my third attempt to put my thoughts down on........the computer???

Over a several month period, I became embroiled in a situation that I viewed as abusive and obsession-driven. After numerous conversations about what should be done, a woman of my acquaintence was finally able to sever the relationship. The most puzzling item is that in spite of the personal pain this individual caused her, she would invariably answer his calls and reply to his text messages. Each time, my "White Knight" character would rouse from a deep slumber and off I'd go to save the damsel in distress. Trying to be as introspective as possible, I realized that I viewed this woman as a family member. Over the course of my military career, I've made friends who developed into my extended family at every place I've been. My extended family are not in place of my biological family, but rather, in addition to them.

I met an individual the other night and over the course of the conversation, was pleased to discover that he put into words a few thoughts that had been driving me stark, raving nuts. He stated that once he found someone who's welfare he valued over his own, then he'd be ready to settle down. Thinking about that, I realized that this woman, who I view as much too young for me, had usurped my thought processes. Re-examining my feelings toward her, I am confident that as long as she is happy, I'll be content with a periphery role in her life. As such, I view  and consider her as the daughter I never had. Since I've never had a daughter before, is it normal to be envious of time she spends with someone else??  By the same token, although I thoroughly enjoy the time we spend together, I'm saddened when it ends. Is this normal? When presented with my thoughts and feelings, she replied that she thought of me as a best friend and a "pseudo-father". In that, my feelings are reciprocal.

Currently listening : Paint the Sky with Stars: The Best of Enya By Enya Release date: 11 November, 1997

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