Napalm, Silly Putty, and More Complaints
Current mood: scream aim fire

Welcome to the Complaint Department! How can I help you?



-Yes. I hate parents who carry their children around town on leashes. Like a fucking DOG! What's next, you give them a treat, pat them on the head, and say "good boy"?!?!?

-Yes. I went to California once (actually I'm there right now) and they pronounce all their towns with Spanish names like they're american (Lawss Anjilis, San Louis Obisspo) is this shit for real? Are there American town names in northern Mexico pronounced as if it's in Spanish? "Hombre, es la Calle Hon-es (jones)!"

-Yes. Poor people who smoke and complain about being poor. You know what I say? Sure, it's more expensive to smoke dick, and there's no smoke involved in it, but for every pack you don't buy, you save 4-5 dollars! We'll call it $4.50. If you smoke a pack-and-a-half per day, that's $6.75 a DAY that you're spending on smokes, not including your weed, crack, heroin, coke, shrooms, and, well, let's say you're a klutz, and you keep dropping and breaking your bongs. Anyway, $6.75 a day on cigarettes times 365 days in a year equals $2,463.75 per year spent on tobacco! You must have a pretty good job if you're spending almost 2500 bucks a year on smokes! I say quit your goddamn complaining, quit that gross, disgusting, vile, rank, smelly, disease-filled, low-class, grade F habit, and save some fucking money, and maybe be able to support that child that's popping out any day now!

-Yes. I went to a show a few months ago, and it was a rock show. It was good. Anyways, after the show, after I went home, people asked me "how was the concert?". I say "well I didn't go to the concert, but I went to the show, and it was amazing!" A concert sounds like some orchestra playing, or the Boston Pops. Not a fucking rock band! People go to a rock SHOW; they also go to a concert to see the New York Philharmonic.

Why is that people turn down the volume when they're looking for the house number on a street?

-Oh, hey. I have another complaint: People who wave when someone lets them make their turn onto their road? "HELLOOOOOO!!!! Thanks for letting me take my turn! Now if you'll just let me do 20 mph under the speed limit, just as a token of my appreciation!"

Why do people put up pictures on their MySpace profiles saying they look ugly in that pic?

-Public Apologies. Jesse Jackson recently apologized for saying on TV that he wanted to "rip Barack Obama's nuts off". Not much later, Jackson called him a nigger. I'm willing to bet anything that his boss required him to apologize, otherwise his job: out the window! I've heard of sports teams having a policy that if you something wrong, that you're required to make a public apology. BAD IDEA. The idea that if you apologise for something you really ARE sorry for it. He's not sorry! He's just apologizing for being required to apologize! BLOW ME! I'm sorry for what I have said, I hope you can forgive me. Whatever.

-Where does anyone get off saying they love their kids? All they do is suck up your money, get bad grades in school, push each other around, and the really bad ones are sucking up a little more money for what? SEX AND DRUGS! Yes, teenagers are still kids. I consider a kid to be anything or anyone under 18. They do all kinds of things parents don't want: sex, drugs, car insurance, mess up the house, eat all the food, and break your windows playing baseball! Yeah. I love your kids too. OK. Wait. Some kids get good grades, and they don't do drugs, and they're virgins, and they ride the bus. Well, don't you think that someone's going to pick on them, and throw shit at them? Then you have to hear "Mommy, *sob* they threw poopie at me". That's the last thing I want to hear from any kid. No. Second to last. Last thing is "I'm pregnant. The real last thing: "you're the father".

If you're peeing, and all of a sudden, you die, do you keep peeing or stop?

IN THE NEWS TODAY:

-The man who complained about the knife in the Subway sandwich has died from complications in an unrelated surgery. He saw the knife, and was frightened from the thought, so he ran to the hospital, and they did their thing, and the left 14 surgical tools in the man's body. Turns out one doctor was drunk, and he was operating solely with 4 meatball subs and 10 veggie delite sandwiches, all from the Subway in the Food Court.

-14 bulls are dead in a surprise Running of the Bulls in Sacramento, CA. The bulls decided to head into the State House, and 8 of them ran right into Governor Schwarzenegger's office. He'll be back.

-A man was in court today for videotaping his former prostitute. The prostitute showed up to court, sat in the plaintiff's chair, and pulled out a video camera. She decided it would be time to turn the tables.

-The results from the handless basketball finals are in. The Nubs beat out the Stubs 3-2, in a game that set history, with the first ever 2-head shot. The ball was kicked by Jim Smith, who kicked it to Todd Tucker's head, then back to Smith's head, and it bounced off just right to go into the hoop. However, The Nubs came back in overtime with a foul shot off the first Japanese basketball player ever, Toyota Nintendo. Nintendo signed a deal in December 2006 with the Boston Nubs for $51.1 million, over 8 years.

MORE COMPLAINTS:

-Who the fuck paid ESPN to show the World Series of POKER? Poker is NOT a sport! Poker is several activities all done at once:

-Sitting down
-Drinking beer
-Playing with cards
-Gambling
-Beating the shit out of someone (if need be)

What would make it a little more sport-like, and by sport-like, I mean a little more athletic, because poker will never be a sport, would be to throw the cards when you show your hand. "Yeah, I've got a King over there, and a pair of 2's. Wait: where the fuck did my Ace of Spades and Queen of Diamonds go?" You'd get a little fucking exercise looking for the cards, because you know you're out some money, and if you can find the cards, maybe, just maybe, you can break even.

-Seatbelt laws are getting out of hand: In Vermont, the maximum fine is $1200 just for not wearing a seatbelt! Suppose the car blows up, and you're buckled in! What if the button's jammed? You're fucked! Now if you're not buckled in, you will get thrown from the vehicle, and possibly break something. But hey, you're not dead!

However, the police come and find you and say, "hey, I know you weren't wearing your seatbelt because you were thrown from the vehicle, so here's a $1200 ticket." But hey, you're not dead!

Currently listening : Invisible Touch By Genesis Release date: 1990-10-25

10:42 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

poetry’s alright as long as it means something to you
Current mood: hearts burst into fire

he takes a breath
and another breath
and another
and says


"i love you"
she takes a deep breath
and moves a step closer
and another
and another
and one more
almost until her feet are stepping on his




she wraps her arms around his neck
his arms around her side

"i love you too"


the tear already having fallen to his shoe

or maybe her shoe.
it's hard to tell
because she was almost stepping on his feet, remember?



their noses now millimeters apart

her eyes in the reflection of the tears in his



mouths moving closer

top lip coming closer to bottom lip, all four ready to meet for the first time



"i've been waiting for this moment for all of my life", he's thinking

"oh lord", she's thinking, that Phil Collins song in the background very quietly playing from his car


he feels the heaven of her lips, her hand holding his head heavenly
she feels the same, only his arms on her side




the lips unlock. Phil's chorus comes on again.

timing: A+

"i've been waiting for this moment for all of my life", he dubs, the taste buds in his lips excited like never before.

"oh lord", she says, also dubbing Collins, her taste buds as well on cloud 9.


the car door opens. oh yeah, he opened it.

don't worry. nothing happens here. they just sit there and maybe go through this again, without Phil Collins on the radio. something a little more upbeat. maybe Van Halen.



after all, they are standing on top of the world.

Currently listening : Scream Aim Fire By Bullet for My Valentine Release date: 2008-01-29

7:26 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

oh yeah debut EP-age!

So I recorded my first EP. It's got some good stuff:

1. Life (original)
2. You've Got to Hide Your Love Away (Beatles Cover)
3. Tonight [I Can't Sleep] (Original)

want a copy? ask me. most likely i'll send you a download link in unprotected mp3 format, because i don't believe in DRM.

Currently listening : Operation: Mindcrime II By Queensrÿche Release date: 04 April, 2006

7:19 PM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

boredom
Current mood: bored

shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttt. i am bored as fuckkkkk.

Currently listening : Help! Release date: 06 November, 2007

5:53 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

I has an idea!
Current mood: creative

This should work. A lot of bands are complaining that people are downloading music illegally, thus, they lose money. Rather than sue the pants off them, why not come up with a website that makes everyone happy. Here's some key points that should be known:

1. Advertisers give money to webmasters to run their ads on a website in hopes that people who click the link and invest in the advertisers' products.

2. Bands claim they need money.

So if these are true, couldn't a person go online, watch a 30-second ad, while looking at 3 or 4 of those ads that are on the top, bottom, and sides of almost every web page? The money that goes to the webmasters could actually (mostly, the webmaster needs a salary too) go to the bands whose music is being downloaded for free. So advertisers pay in hopes that the downloader might buy something from the advertiser, and the money that the advertisers pay go to the webmaster and the bands.

Is everyone happy? Is this a good idea?

Currently listening : Sign of the Times - The Best Of Queensryche (Deluxe Edition) By Queensrÿche Release date: 28 August, 2007

5:38 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

rhetorical questions answered
Current mood: amorous

CAN A GUY DRIVING A HEARSE WITH A CORPSE DRIVE IN THE CARPOOL LANE?

the law said nothing about how the second guy couldn't be dead.

IF YOU CHOKE A SMURF, WHAT COLOR DOES IT TURN?

well first it turns red like anyone else, then it goes back to blue, then to purple, a nd then back to blue because it's dead.

WHY DO WE SAY AN ALARM CLOCK IS GOING OFF BUT IT'S REALLY COMING ON?

i don't know, but my alarm's coming on, so i got to go.

Currently listening : Operation: Mindcrime II By Queensrÿche Release date: 04 April, 2006

7:42 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

more nothingness
Current mood: none

long day of work on christmas eve... and a long day of work after christmas too... but anyways, happy holidays, everyone who actually cares to read this. um... yeah.

Currently listening : A Hard Day’s Night By The Beatles Release date: 25 October, 1990

5:12 PM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

oh you know just another blog
Current mood: been better been worse you know?

more bloggage... went to a show... moshed... stopped after getting hurt... i don't mind senseless running and shoving, but when it gets dangerous, that's when i leave... took a head to the cheek and my whole head felt it... ouch! but i have tylenol... but you know... im ok ill be fine... anyways, im gonna try and write more songs, but i know they'll suck. anywho, the rest of everything sucked today... work, home and whatnot. maybe i'll write more of that shitty story... but it's definitely gonna suck... i think i schruted it... that's when you screw something up in a completely irreversible way... dwight k. schrute? probably. blogs. bears. battlestar galactica.

Currently listening : The Meanest Of Times By Dropkick Murphys Release date: 18 September, 2007

8:22 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Bloggage
Current mood: bored

Its been kinda boring lately except a propane leak at school... That left us out in the col for 45 minutes of so, but whatevs... I'm planning on going to a movie soon (like maybe tomorrow?) but idk what to see (and its not Beowulf because my English class is going to see it next week) and idk what else is playing. There's an open invitation to whoever wants to go (6032525961) so if you wanna go and i might pay depending on how i feel.

Currently listening : Boston [Digipak] By Boston Release date: 13 June, 2006

7:40 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

i can write shitty stories if i want to (A Punk Chick named Anona)
Current mood: watching that Monsters Of Rock CD commercial

Once upon a time, I mean, last month, I went to this show, I forgot who was playing, but I met this girl. She sometimes had a mohawk, but when she didn't want one, she just found a phonebooth, or a bathroom, because phonebooths are hard to find, and she'd go back to that Abercrombie-looking chick.

Anyways, so we went back to her house, and what a shithole it was. It was awesome. But she had the biggest bed ever. Or at least so I thought. I looked it up today in the Guinness Book of World Records, and there was a bed a few inches bigger than this girl's. We'll call this girl Anona. So Anona was so hot in bed. It was awesome. Anyways, although I'm an atheist, I might actually wanna get married to Anona.

My story writing sucks. I might add to this story, but I'm gonna go download music.

7:27 AM - 3 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

punk rock show

yeah so i went to my first punk show tonight.... it was in like, claremont.. the music kicked ass (the kamikaze hippies, the scanty's, jonee earthquake...), but a fight broke out during the deviators' set, so me and katherine were like, "fuck it" and so we left and went to mcdonald's.

but i know this: we're jamming again tomorrow and we're gonna record an operation ivy cover (Knowledge... we know, its almost as covered as blitzkrieg bop or any other ramones song)

-Brendo

7:15 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

ive got my friends at work and they're cool, but...
Current mood: emo

school is where they should REALLY be.. i mean my friends at work (most of them anyway) are graduated and stuff and are in college... and long gone too... and they're awesome, and i'm out of school too, but i still feel like i have this huge hole in my life... as long as i've been living here (some 3 years), i've made a bunch of friends, but i've seemed to have lost more of them... not because of a fight or because i was a dick to one of them, but simply because we parted... it's one of those things that happens, but i just feel like, well... i need some friends... i've got my friends at work and i couldn't ask for better friends than them. it's just... well maybe all i want is to be loved... not just liked by my friends, but i mean there has to be someone out there for me, and i know there's a match for me, and that i'm a match for someone else, but will i ever find her? i'm guessing that if i keep sitting around and waiting for it to come to me, then she'll never find me. i don't wanna bed down the first girl i meet though, obviously... i wanna create a relationship, and there are very few girls out there my age who want that... they just want an attractive guy to touch and make out with... i guess it would be nice to make out with an attractive girl, but it would be even better if she was nice also... but those are so scarce i guess i can't have anyone like that... well i guess you've read my emo side, so...

this blog was like the sopranos... no real ending

Currently listening : Be Your Own Pet By Be Your Own Pet Release date: 06 June, 2006

8:57 PM - 3 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Why haven't I blogged in a long fucking time?
Current mood: blank

Answer: I haven't done anything worth blogging about. I just thought I'd say that. I haven't done one of my dumbass comic strips in forever, also for that reason: I haven't done anything interesting to give me inspiration for a strip. I could pull something out of my ass, but then it would stink (in every sense)

Currently listening : War By U2 Release date: 15 June, 1990

10:48 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

bored and extermely dangerous
Current mood: lonely...

you dont love me...
Current mood: sad as all hell

you know who you are... you dont love me...

3:38 PM - 2 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment