gratitude for the GBE
Current mood: blissful
Category: Blogging

~Alicia

per alicia's page:  "For those of you who may be new to the scene, the Group Blogging Experience (a.k.a. GBE) is pretty much where each week I'll give you a general topic, then you have all week to work up your own interpretation of it. The only limits on what you choose to blog about are the time you want to put into it, and want to put into it, and your imagination. By Saturday, everyone posts their blogs and I link them all through mine. Any questions, just ask" 

This weeks topic

WHAT DOES THE GBE MEAN TO YOU?

VOICE

FORUM

AUDIENCE

The GBE gives a new writer a forum to in which to write. It's a safe writing environment reminding me of my time at Portland State taking my first creative writing classes.

As a former business major, it was an amazing time for me, those two years. I took writing classes, critiqued the most amazing writers, and they critiqued my work. I was among writers. I was a writer. I wrote!

Under the directions of my instructors (and the need to please the Financial Aid gods) I compiled a rather sizable body of work. Which sits here in my office, safe and sound.

One particular writing class a smaller sub group was formed for class, random women. The youngest, a sweet girl with black lipstick was the edgy writer, one engaged, about to go to graduate school for literature (color me intimidated!) was writing a classic literature, one local housewife she was a wise, kind beautiful black woman with a husband and 2 adopted special needs boys had the beginnings of a suspenseful novel... they sounded to me already published.  then there was little ol' me, the single coffee swilling mom with my life experience stories.  Each a unique voice.  Once the class ended we continued meeting weekly, just because the stories were too juicy, the writing was too good, the coffeehouse time away from school and social obligations... priceless! 

The GBE reminds me of that weekly writing group. Somebody waiting for that read. anxious to get that feedback, which has now evolved into comments. We used to take a week to write our feedback. (imagine!) We each brought a copy of each other's work to the next meeting, all marked up with suggestions, underlines, compliments, exclamation points, question marks. It was such a wonderful time and now I have a reason to write weekly again. *insert angelic music*

I want to salute Alicia for hosting the Group Blogging Experience. our haven of safe writery~

I want to thank all the writers and readers here in the GBE. Friends old and new comfort me and make me feel welcome here. Looking forward to read everybody eventually! Thanks for stopping by~

5:30 AM - 47 Comments - 54 Kudos - Add Comment

where and when were the first coffeehouses opened? w/replies up :)
Current mood: overstimulated
Category: Life

Sufi pilgrims took coffee north from Aden and Mocha through the Muslim world, using it in nighttime worship, and the beverage reached Medina and MEcca between 1470 and 1500.  Meccans opened the first places where exchange fo news, gossip, chess, and even music, rather than prayer, accompanied coffee drinking.  In Damascus a large coffeehouse near a cental mosque gained popularity after 1530; a coffeehouse opened in Aleppo in 1532.  Called qahveh khaneh, these establishments, enhanced by gardens and fountains or a riverside location, became popular among all ranks of Turkish men, though women enjoyed their coffee in private.  In Cairo, the day-long fasts of Ramadan found the coffeehouses especially busy at night.  Two coffeehouses opened in Instanbul in 1554, and before the end of the century these gathering spots were found throughout the Ottoman empire.

SOURCE: All About Coffee Knowledge Cards

Text by Evelyn Sinclair Published by Pomegranate Communications 

2:40 AM - 39 Comments - 38 Kudos - Add Comment

my fairy name ~thanks starra!~~ updated again!!!
Current mood: chill
Category: Friends

Starra Rogue Feary Writer's Fairy Name Blog

Maddwitch's Fairy Name Blog

5:30 PM - 59 Comments - 44 Kudos - Add Comment

blues together
Current mood: warm
Category: Writing and Poetry

look at me

mental state unaware

stars fall from dirty air

sidewalks hot like L.A.

because i understand only the way i see things

the the words you're saying to me bypass my plane of reality

thinkingwise

anyhow,

computer don't mind

flirt, dirt--go there because

i loved you and you weren't there.

fool.

why did you leave her?

fool.

why didn't you take her and take her and marry

the white ocean bride

of equal parts

to minds of mad fools

fools with pains and memories and

genius ghosts~

pestering, bothering, but

also guiding, reminding..

alone but ALIVE~

Lived to see this way

coming mountains around

returning fields home

my inner chakras glowing home

matching yours

so..

interesting huh?

you? me? why why will you push me pushy girl

talk talk direct line

communicate.

i'm dumb. you're shy

we stupid two together

get it going, be free with me

free free free

be my family.

i dance your spinning candlelight dreams,

followed dreams,

breathing believeness into the cloudy dreams

of futurepast

which glows in my mind/universe/X-file.

NOT the girl next door

must be something more here

hello goodbye sad moon rock fog ocean ritual

seek lose hide heal recover

So, can tomorrow's tarot cards still be correct?

healthy freedom with joy baked in?

vanilla clouds

lightning storms of emotion

delicious porch swings moonlight

am i right to dream?

why not age together?

together messes me upon your doorstep.

my wife should be you, you

where's my baby to bounce on my knee too?

i want a family to love and need me too

i will use my tools for your problems

plumbing, auto repair, you name it

i do oil changes and dance too

i'm for you.

stepping through the crystal time ball again

smooth sailing

emerging submerging, slowing

emerging again...

Merlin talks, dazzles, mystifies

wizard? am i real?

puff of vaporizing smoke,

thin.. oh so thin..

materializing.

blue too many lost years already

oranges and music cheered me

but

your memory warmed me through the darkest times

through wanderings ever rambling...

i owe you a healing tip thank you

so much gratitude, because

we made me alive, and you alone

and us together.

6:56 AM - 16 Comments - 30 Kudos - Add Comment

GBE 51 sincere apologies ~with replies added~
Current mood: ashamed
Category: Blogging

hm.. apologies...

i'm sorry for a few things in my life. i tried to think of personal apologies i could share, but came up with sorrys instead. i'm sorry i wasn't my own best friend sooner. i'm sorry i wasted so much time and energy on guilt.

i see my women friends throw their dignity under the bus to lure a guy into their life. calling too much. asking for more than they should. hanging around after being dumped. it baffles me because i always did the opposite. i chased good people out of my life because they were too perfect. i wasn't ready to meet mr. right so if you were in any way a prince charming, i'd RUN.

i did it to women too. you were so happy, going full steam ahead towards your happily ever after. i was such a train wreck. i'm sorry i didn't show up at your wedding, your baby shower, your barbecue. i was a flake most of my life. i'm sorry for that. however i believe an apology is in order as well as sorry. sorrys are more like regrets.

i apologize for my cultural part in history.

when we were children, they told us our country's great history.

they said we were heros!

i couldn't help but notice a few things didn't quite seem right.

what happened to all those nice people who already lived here?

well. so much for them.

and what about this part of our history?

then WW2 and we lock up our own citizens because of their heritage.

read this book: snow falling on cedars

i'm half mexican.

prejudices are something i've dealt with in this lifetime.

but it was as a 'valley' in a beach community i suffered the worst prejudice. it can happen to anyone. it's when a group of people are convinced they are better than you based on your looks (or color, or religion, or whatever)

it's why i don't stereotype people. i don't judge them. seems like some white people like to think they are better than people of color. 

except they were here first, and there are more people of color than whitie would like to admit.

i wonder who our next scapegoat will be.

when i grew up they told us the enemy was Russia. ooh we were so scared of russia! oh no! then it was Iran~ whatever. it's just someone to divert our attention. someone to demonize in order to justify war, and more importantly, our war budget. 

for all these things i apologize

if i had it my way, we'd be one people.

& harm none.. 'sept those damn haters~

health benefits of sincere apology

finally, here is a lucas letter to the tooth fairy. seems the tooth fairy dropped the ball and forgot his tooth. i explained she's a very busy fairy and put the tooth there one more night, she'll come by for sure. so he wrote this note (many years ago) to help her remember:

"i'm sore that you furgot my tooth." (i'm sorry you forgot my tooth)

how many times do children show us the way is through seeing with the heart, instead of the eyes. (thanks to barbara for reminding me of this)

hugs and thanks to ~alicia for doing this Group Blogging Experience weekly~

11:20 PM - 79 Comments - 86 Kudos - Add Comment

GBE 50 inner peace, kimi style~ replies up :)
Current mood: peaceful
Category: Blogging

inner peace...

sounds elusive!

on my quest for inner peace i have acquired a bag of tricks i use to invoke it at will.

no! not that bag!

i've walked a path of seeking mostly, plus some finding... of certain gems i cherish... amongst the books, rituals, meetings and gatherings of witches, mystics, a guru and pop culture, curiosity driven, i mined the Tao Te Ching, added a light sprinkling of Zen, researched the back story on my man Jesus, anchored it all in my intuition... i grew to know certain knowings that have allowed me to stay calm in almost any circumstance.

joy is often present in my moments of inner peace. bliss too. 

again this week, thinking about this topic, i came to realize... it's not inner peace i lack. it's outer peace i completely suck at.

in my refusal to settle down, i create pockets of my life where i can, and sometimes do fall right through.  i fly without a net, and it is usually thrilling. except when i fall. the splat looms.

that's when my pull out my faith card and buy some inner peace. it lands me gently. every time.

matching my inner and outer does happen at times. that's when the joy and bliss come in.

i was once at seabright beach at sunset, alone with my journal, happily high in a mellow good mood a school of dolphin played in the waves for what seemed like forever. how magical it was..

moments spent standing in line at my favorite coffee shop. patiently waiting with plenty of time to gaze into the case at the fresh baked goodies, inhaling heavenly aromas of fresh brewed coffee... anticipation..

a sign outside a bakery in santa cruz on a busy, congested street. (i was always stuck in traffic when i saw it) reads "RELAX. you have plenty of time"

Emmanuel says everything is either fear or love. choose love. i remember that one. fear sucks. 

Emmanuel's book

Karma. huge believer.

Faith is my guidepost.

knowing everything is as it should be, exactly and at all times, gives me inner peace.

and finally... from my beloved Taoism.

and for those of you still here :) my favorite Taoism

"Nothing in the world
is as soft and yielding as water.
Yet for dissolving the hard and inflexible,
nothing can surpass it.

The soft overcomes the hard;
the gentle overcomes the rigid.
Everyone knows this is true,
but few can put it into practice.

Therefore the Master remains
serene in the midst of sorrow.
Evil cannot enter his heart.
Because he has given up helping,
he is people's greatest help.

True words seem paradoxical."

Tao Te Ching

peaceout~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In case you all don't know what the GBE is, it works like this: Each week, our fearless and fabulous leader, Alicia post a topic to blog on. The results are always an interesting read as we all have such unique and versatile personalities! Absolutely everyone is welcome to join in. The only limits are how much time and creativity you want to put into your blog! Just let Alicia know you want to participate by commenting "I'm in" and then letting her know when your blog is done! Alicia will link all of our contributions into her blog for easy access. REMEMBER YOUR PROFILE MUST NOT BE SET ON PRIVATE OR WE CAN'T READ WHAT YOU WROTE!

6:10 AM - 75 Comments - 78 Kudos - Add Comment

i’m being scammed on craigslist UPDATE
Current mood: pessimistic
Category: Life

4:45 PM - 44 Comments - 50 Kudos - Add Comment

What are the keys to brewing a good cup of coffee?
Current mood: overstimulated
Category: Life

I did not write this, just sharing another card from my coffee deck!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everyone's definition of a good cup of coffee is his or her own. But selecting good, freshly roasted beans is the first key. Another key is grinding them just before brewing the coffee, so the aroma and flavors are strong. Whichever pot is used--perhaps an Italian Napoletano drip pot with two compartments, a Napier vacuum pot or Chemex hourglass-shaped pot, a plunger or French press pot, a Mister Coffee electric drip pot, or any other--must be clean and free of rancid coffee oils. Another key is using fresh water that is not too hard but has enough minerals to give it flavor, heated to just below boiling--about 195-205 F (91-96C). The ideal proportion of coffee to water varies, but fifty to sixty ground beans to each six ounces (175 milliliters) of water will work, allowing four to six minutes for extraction. Above all, for a good cup, coffee must not be kept heated or reheated after it is brewed.

All About Coffee Knowledge Cards

Text by Evelyn Sinclair

Published by Pomegranate Communications, Inc.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

so spill the beans.. what's your daily brew? i grind my beans each morning to make my pot of coffee. light roast or medium blend. 

5:00 PM - 34 Comments - 32 Kudos - Add Comment

what is lost GBE ~ replies are up~
Current mood: tired
Category: Life

there were a lot of directions to go in this weeks topic in the GBE. "what is lost".

I was a little lost on the topic. Lost my marbles? Lost my temper? Lost my patience?  What about that time i lost my wallet and some stranger returned it?

lost. lost. hm.... i don't have a lot so everything i should have must be lost, right? this will be easy. my life is so full of holes i feel like swiss cheese most the time. i can pick one of those, probably the biggest hole. i don't have this, i don't have that. my mind rattled off a list of every void. except. the topic isn't about voids. it's about losts. to have lost something, you had to have had it in the first place.

So it's a little tougher than i thought. Straight up, i've lost a lot of shit recently. Last September my only child went and lived with his dad for the year. An hour away. This year, he's going further. 4 hours away for yet another year. Big loss of full time mothering. Even part time mothering is difficult.

Ever lose a house? It's way less stressful than buying one! The second time i've lost my appraising career. Took it further this time than ever, deluding myself it would last forever this time. still the rug was pulled from under me. Back to square one, do not pass go, do not collect $200.

I decided what i lost was my expectations. My personal delusions that made me miserable. Like i would ever have a normal mother daughter relationship with my mom. Or that i have to live with my child to be a 'goodmom'.  i have to be married to fit in. 

speaking of 'lost', i now realize i have lost my freedom to a relationship.  realizing now why i had a cow in Bobbie's blog about having to wait until she had permission from her husband to get chickens!!!! What??!! what if I wanted to get chickens?  If i'm married, my husband might try to prevent this?  

maybe my sudden need to have chickens, or at least permission for chickens, is due to my being in a relationship that could lead to marriage someday.  To me a husband represents a chicken-denying entity. a blocking energy.  If eric doesn't want chickens, it's going to take a lot of persuasion, thus energy, on my part to get them. And it's not just chickens he doesn't like. its a lot of things. But i love him and we'll work out some feathered creature arrangement i'm sure, perhaps peacocks i don't know. but i know i lost my freedom because i wished for love, asked for love, made room for love and received love in my life. now i too have a man to gripe about.  

i promised to keep this short so i better wrap up. physical losses don't bother me so much.  emotional losses i can deal with as well.  i lost my old perceptions. I gained clarity and companionship and kept my independence. 

What have you lost? Was there a flip side in which you gained all or more back?

12:30 AM - 76 Comments - 64 Kudos - Add Comment

a ditty REPLIES up~!!
Current mood: silly
Category: MySpace

complete distraction,

drama, interaction,

addiction, connection,

acceptance, rejection,

creation, elation!

poetic,

complete dork!

psychotic, magnetic,

against the grain...

some say insane...

out on a limb...

to make you grin...

a treasure hunt...

wade thru the muck...

step over junk...

mine hidden gems!

find talent shared,

crafts honed and polished,

just to be slammed;

no good deed

goes undamned.

read.

what's your pleasure?

deep as ocean,

mountain air,

easy, breezy,

Satan's lair,

or sad dispair.

shits and giggles,

a raging rant,

a worthy cause,

a piece of shit.

a yolk of love

feeds those who come

draw upon

myspace.

Currently listening : ABC By Jackson 5 Release date: 1992-02-10

5:30 AM - 69 Comments - 40 Kudos - Add Comment

Quiz Result

What Kind of Empath Are You? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Artist You are an Artist Empath, one who creates their own reality and infuses the realities of others with your energy & emotions. You are poetic and sensitive. You turn your feelings into creations and share them with the world. Everything you touch turns to song and is freed by the color of your eyes. Your spirit dances with the winds and paints delight in the evening sky. (from the "Book of Storms" by Jad Alexander at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Empaths/) Artist 85% Judge 75% Shaman 70% Universal 70% Traveler 60% Healer 60% Fallen Angel 60% Precog 40%

1:14 AM - 1 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

GBE random kindness & some other stuff ~ RePliEs UP
Current mood: blessed
Category: Blogging

i've been thinking and thinking about 'niceness' all week because this weeks GBA is about "random acts of kindness".  Kindness and niceness just kinda jelled in my mind... i'm not exactly known for my kindness; not that i'm mean, but in the past, i've always strived to be more of a badass bitch than a nice girl.  

my high school was full of bitches. snotty, rich, blonde.. car on their 16th birthday, but not just any car.. mercedes was typical. they were cliquish, mean, catty.

(these girls are nice in comparison)

 I moved to the coast from inland, thus i was a 'valley' uh.. nerd of the worst kind. picked on. so instead taking their shit,  i became a bitch.

Growing up, I didn't have role models; I had anti role models. women NOT to become:

NOT ME! i might end up like ...

like, all cooking and shit... not there is anything wrong with Rachael Ray, hey she's hot!

it's just not me. Everyone around me wanted to be...

and their goal was to grow up to be...

again, nothing wrong with. just Not ME.

plus I was raised by non-kindness inducing people. again, not mean. just not too warm & fuzzy.

So I guess I was from the "me" generation. I didn't nurture, I didn't marry, I didn't learn a girl job (teaching, nursing, etc). Because they wanted me to, I would resist.

anywho.... what is my point and what does this have to do with random acts of kindness?

excellent question. i was starting to wonder myself...

i honed my badgirl image throughout my 20's ... selfishly drinking it up in bars, working my way up the corporate ladder, etc etc etc.... yet.. also studying eastern religion and spirituality, healing with energy, psychadelic drug trips...

i mellowed the fuck out!

and the big change happened when i had a baby at age 27!

i went from this:

to this:

overnight! i didn't want any negativity touching my baby boy. no toxic people, even me! i was always kind to people in my work environment, all the bouncers in town thought i was nice, i rock at customer service, i just had to let go of my sharp edge a little in order to produce a human who was raised bathed in light. Lucas name means bringing light. so I blame him lol~

So random acts of kindness is what I taught him his whole life and I am proud to brag now about him. He's my teacher of kindness and I am humbly learning it still.  I was once told when he was in a 1st grade Bible camp (I'm not religious but thought a week of camp wouln't hurt him) the teacher told me he had the most "loving answers". *heart warms* And just this year his 7th grade teacher described him as "wonderful with children, gifted" and said someone has obviously done a lot of work on his manners.   He learned the golden rule & learned it well. Treat others as you would like to be treated. Not randomly but always. That's why they call it a rule.

Gratitude to Alicia for doing these GBE weekly blogs!

9:30 PM - 89 Comments - 85 Kudos - Add Comment

tag blog. newsflash. i’m annoying! REPLIED
Current mood: cantankerous
Category: Blogging

(this is a re-post for my new friends)

Tagged ~ now you're It!!! 

Games on! So I have been tagged! I must write a blog with 10 weird, random things about myself then tag 10 people to do the same.  Kimi twisted to my own evil purposes once again.... 10 most annoying things about me!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So here I go:

1. know it all.

lol esp. in office settings. i've been told to tone it down, dumb it down, etc. sorry! not happening! i'm a really fast learner and have worked in many offices.  i've also been called the queen of research, so if i don't happen to know it, i'll look it up.

2. never been married. mostly annoying to those who want everyone with kids to be married. or at least divorced. :)

marriage doesn't go with my independent attitude! plus nobody's asked me~

3. i make my own money~

i don't believe in greed, putting money before people, or making money the top priority in my life. however, i don't believe in being a mooch or living in poverty either. i belive in hard work, working smart, in my own ability to provide for myself, my son and my future. it's necessary to enjoy life.  money has a lot of negative connotations to a lot of people

i'm trying to overcome them myself. like how come people always say 'i'd rather have love' as if pursuing money is the same as rejecting love. i want both.

4. i have weird beliefs

i don't believe what most people believe. even though i don't put anyone down for their own beliefs, and i understand i'm in the minority in my way of thinking.. i am so strong in what i think, it makes people feel like their own beliefs are being belittled. (i'm guessing. something about it is annoying)

5. "loud & embarassing" or what i like to call outspoken.

recently i was called 'loud & embarassing' :) hey. it's cool, i know that about myself! i'm not going to be a wallflower in the corner of life! i like to have fun and if there is alcohol involved it might turn loud! lol plus if there is a situation that needs a voice, i won't hesitate to invervene. yesterday on oprah they had set up circumstances that needed a stranger to intervene & barely anyone did. (actors portraying domestic violence in public place, for example) i know i would because i have.    however, it does lead to me making a loud embarrassing fool of myself time to time. like yesterday when i burst into cyber tears in someone's blog i just met.

6. i have weird r