SINCERELY, SINCERELY, SINCERELY..PLEASE READ!!!!
Current mood: cooky/wacky
Category: Friends

I TRULY MEAN THIS SINCERELY...

FIRST OFF..NO, I DON'T THINK I'M ANYTHING SPECIAL..I'M JUST HUMAN TRYING TO LIVE AND BREATHE..I WOULDN'T SIGN ON TO THIS ACCOUNT FOR A LONG TIME BECAUSE I COULDN'T KEEP UP WITH THE EMAILS OR FRIEND REQUESTS...I TRY BUT PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT I CAN'T POSSIBLY REPLY TO EVERY SINGLE EMAIL I GET. I'M NOT FAKE AND IF I DON'T FEEL A PERSONAL CONNECTION IN SOME WAY...I WON'T RESPOND...IF YOU EMAIL ME WITH SEXY..I GUARANTEE, I WON'T RESPOND..IF YOU HAVE ANYTHING RESPECTFUL AND COOL TO SAY..IT'S MORE LIKELY YOU'LL GET A RESPONSE..PLEASE KNOW I AM BEING VERY SINCERE FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART...I DON'T CONSIDER MYSELF A BITCH ALTHOUGH I'M HUMAN AND CAN ACT BITCHY AT TIMES WHEN I'M ANNOYED I GUESS...BUT I'M NOT LOOKING TO "HOOK UP"...I LOVE MAKING NEW FRIENDS...IF I FEEL THERE  MIGHT BE A POTENTIAL FRIENDSHIP OR MAYBE EVEN MORE...BELIEVE ME..YOU WILL HEAR FROM ME...I'VE WRITTEN SO MANY BLOGS THESE DAYS..HEHE...I HAVE SO MUCH ON MY MIND BUT I'M TRYING TO JUST TAKE A BREATHER AND LIVE MY LIFE DRAMA FREE...SO PLEASE..KEEP THE PEACE!!!!!

MUCH MUCH MUCH LOVE!!!

ME...XOXOXOXOXOXO...JUST A SOMEWHAT NORMAL GIRL..*SHRUGS*

9:05 PM - 12 Comments - 11 Kudos - Add Comment

Thank you Ricky Luna=)...xo "A Letter From God"
Current mood: blessed
Category: Life

A myspace friend sent this to me as we were chatting..I thought it could be an eye opener for you just as much as it was for me..Ricky, funny how you found this..isn't it??? Cheers;)

A time comes in your life when you finally get it ... when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out ENOUGH!!! No more fighting and no more crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes. This is your awakening. You realize it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change...or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon.
You come to terms with the fact that you are neither Prince Charming or Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you...and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance. You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love appreciate or approve of who or what you are...and that's OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions. And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself...and in the process a sense of newfound confidence is born of self-approval.
You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself...and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.
You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties...and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness. You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the junk you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you should weigh, what you should wear, what you should do for a living, how much money you should make, what you should drive, how and where you should live, who you should marry, the importance of having and raising children, and what you owe your parents, family, and friends. You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with...and in the process you learn to go with your instincts. You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.
You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life. You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.
Then you learn about love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. And you learn that alone does not mean lonely. You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right to want things and to ask for the things you want and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands. You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise. You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.
You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you deserve...and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone...and that it's OK to risk asking for help. You learn the only thing you must truly fear is the greatest robber baron of all: FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms. And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes-bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening. You learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart's desire. You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. You make it a point to keep smiling, to trust, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility. Finally, with courage in your heart and God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can.

1:54 AM - 5 Comments - 12 Kudos - Add Comment

Bands..how to write a press release...
Current mood: accomplished
Category: Music

Ok, first off..I'm not a publicist..and neither are you..so is it better to send out news and possibly gain attention from the media(over time) if you have newsworthy material or is it better to play show after show and expect some A&R guy to just pop up because the lil' birdie told him you have a must see show! NOT HAPPENING! By sending press out..letting the media know every time you have a show, a CD release, signing to a record label, etc..eventually somebody will come check you out..of course if you don't suck. A lot of A&R guys just stand back and check on a band from time to time to see how far the band has gone. If one year goes by and you haven't moved forward in your career then you are not doing the work! Why should a record label take such a huge chance on a band that they will have to babysit? Again, record labels don't want to develop bands anymore. You have to be ready to go! Indie labels work a little different..but regardless, this is your business..be smart and make every event you do count! Myspace is a smaller world than you think...unless you have 100,000+ friends that are true fans..not just numbers! I'm not saying it's easy but you have to begin making contacts..everyone knows..your music alone will not get you there..you have to be business minded, make contacts, spread the word! Contact your local radio or college radio station's music director, send them a CD. Contact your local or college newspaper and see if they want to write a story about the band (if you have an interesting one), maybe they will want to come out to a show and set up an interview! Building these relationships are not easy..but having one is better than none!!! I work in the indie music scene..mostly rock..no hip hop, country or metal...so I would target a publication or online zine that would best market my genre of music. Shoot them an email, get your review of your album..as you can see..there is so much that can be done! You really don't need a manager unless you are too busy touring 9 months out of the year! Good luck finding a good manager because we need to make money too. If you're playing local venues, etc..your manager is not making a dime..so forget that unless you want to hire me to work your band on a month to month basis for a flat fee *winks* Good Luck because you musicians are usually broke;)

Ok..so remember NEWSWORTHY material..don't forget to include your who, what, when, why, and where in your press releases..I'll make it easy for you and leave an example..yes, that's a fake address:) Below the date..you can write for more information contact:..but I don't like to write that in..it doesn't have to be perfect..God knows..I am not the best writer..but I get the word out and thats all I care about....I send thousands of press out 2-3 times a week to booking agents, record labels, newspapers, college radio, online zines and the list goes on...my press release format all depends on who I'm sending it out to..so thats up to you..if you don't have a relationship built with the people you are sending your press out to..just send it the more professional way..ok..you're on your own now..till next time.. ..That's all folks! *winks*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Subject: (your band name) News!! (or your company name..)

For Immediate Release:

For more information contact:

Currently listening : Building a Better Spaceship By Building a Better Spaceship Release date: 08 November, 2005

6:49 PM - 17 Comments - 27 Kudos - Add Comment

Bands!! What are you doing????? grrrrrr!
Current mood: accomplished
Category: Music

First off...I have some serious typos..and I don't want to go through this entire think..ok? OK!!

I was just going through my old blogs..checkin' up on some bands that I thought have potential...then I see you guys signing to labels...very small indie labels that have NO distro!!! And your still playing locally with only a few shows here and there!!! What is going on people?? There are books out there..go read them! Yes, some are bullshit but take what makes sense out of it and use it to benefit your band!!! It's better to be unsigned then to be signed to crap! No offense to some labels that are really trying....you have to start somewhere..I know this...but by signing on a band, you are taking their future and their dreams away if your label has no money to promote you...I am getting emails saying.."I'm on a indie..so I don't agree with you on that"...please read things carefully before you send me an email.Let me make this clear!!! I am not a fan of the majors! OK???? My all time favorite label is Fueled By Ramen..that is where Fall Out Boy got their start, Paramore, Academy Is, etc..I love Epitaph, The Militia Group is awesome!!! There are amazing indie labels out there. I am talking about tiny tiny labels that don't know how to market their bands..OK?? First look at their history..do your research..big labels got their start from being small..BUT..make sure they know what they are doing and what you're signing into? Where have their current bands gone?? Talk to them? Do they have other bands in the same genre? How long have their bands been signed to them? Are they on a good tour? Can they register your band to...http://www.soundscan.com/about.html ??? You know you have to get on the road, right? So you sign with a label for what?? To play your local shows??  HELL NO!!! Don't get me wrong..play locally..but get on the F'n road and stay there!!! Just do it right?? Put a good team together...Start from the top and don't settle until you know in your heart you have made the best choice..whether it's a manager, booking agent..well scratch that..keep any booking agent if your band is not established...and only if you're not going on tour..if you're touring ..working with a bad booker can turn out to be a distaster!! hey, this is just one persons opinion!!...any who..Bands, I'm sorry but this business is seriously about who you know and how creative you can get...the who you know will follow if you are using your creative ability! Go play tons of shows locally having the same crowd pay you a visit..add ten million friends...ok? I will tell you where that will take you...well, playing in front of the same crowd and the same venues week after week won't allow you to gain new fans and exposure to create a buzz!!! Your friend adding abilities are great...why?

~ Not because some A&R guys is going to say..WOW!!!!!! Look out how many friends they have??? Let's sign em! Maybe they will keep an eye out for you from time to time and then come pay you a visit locally if you have 100,000 friends..and your music has potential..... believe me..you might think your music has potential...but what you think doesn't count..because every band thinks they are the next best thing...whoop-dee do..that's not always the case!!!

~ Not because it makes you look bigger than you are..because it's obvious you can go on someones page and add them...I add everybody that has a request..I don't care!! I don't have the time to go and meet each person...I'd rather spend that time getting my voice heard and hopefully stop some desperate foolish bands sign their dream away!!!

Ok, so why is it good?? I get 150+ friend requests a day..I use to get 500+ when I was more active on this site..the reason is not so much because I'm a girl...I have I don't know..61,000+ "friends" on this site..that means..that my profile can be seen on 61,000+ friends pages..get it? There is more of a chance from gaining new fans if you know how to market yourself the right way by adding people...who cares if they don't like your music..your page will end up on their list of friends..meaning it's giving you guys a chance to get exposure from someone that goes to that persons page...and so on..also..people will remember the name of your band the more they see it..especially if you send press out....even if a somebody you sent press to doesn't know your band..they will think they know the band from a good source..because they have heard the name...not because it will pop into their head that it was myspace...ok, I'm sorry..my writing skills are not that good right now..I'm probably confusing you..but I'm in a rush and I'm trying to type this out very quick...grrrrr!

Ok, people..send press out!!! Don't email me asking me to freebee manage your band..my freebee days are OVER! I'm human..I work hard and I need to eat! And 95% of the bands I have heard on myspace that think they are so amazing..SUCK! Just being blunt!! SUCK!!! Another thing is..your attitude counts!! When you start selling a few hundred thousand CD's..then have a lil' cocky smile on your face..IF YOU MUST!!!

Be creative with your songwriting and TRY to sound different..just don't try tooo hard because that might actually make you suck!!!.....but also listen close to what is selling on the market..and no I don't mean everyone has to go emo..calm down! I mean..LISTEN..listen with your ears but mostly with your head....take the good from what you hear and add a big twist to your own style..tweak it!!! GET THE ATTENTION!!!..once you make it..you can take huge risks with your music style..some may not agree with me..but my creative ability won't be the same as yours..we are all different..every manager works different..every good manager out there has their own way of tweaking:):):) I'll add more later...but seriously..if you have a show..make sure you are spreading the word outside of myspace...go to local publications..go to your local radio..go to college stations..but the Musicians Atlas..not a bad deal for bands getting started...look it won't be easy to get a college radio station to rotate your music or announce your show..but if you really sound good..you can build that relationship!!! Same thing with online zines..absolutepunk.net is my favorite!!! google zines..ask around what online zines have readers that like your style of music..shoot an email and see if they will do a review of your album..invite them to a show..come on people...it's not going to drop on your lap...you need to develop yourself first before anyone is going to want to sign you..I mean a good reputable indie or major if thats what you prefer. And stop emailing me asking to manage your band for free, damnit! I will help your band if I believe in it...I don't want to officially manage anybody right now..but I can give you personal guidance on amonth to month basis for a fee...so get off your ass..get a job..pay your rent..stop bumming off everyone and use your extra money to get your band recognized! Use your money to get a great quality album together..and I mean GREAT!!! Use your money to make sampler CD's and pass a few out in the area of your show or at your local high School or University a couple days before a show..I could go on forever but I have to go now..BYE BYE!!! *waves*..call again..and what the hell is call again on some of these store reciepts..isn't it come again??  REMEMBER ONE THING..A MANAGER SEE'S  THE POTENTIAL...A MANAGER DEVELOPS...A MANAGER DOESN'T WANT A FINISHED PRODUCT..THEY WANT TO EARN THE RIGHT AND RECIEVE THE ACCOMPLISHEMNT OF THE FINISHED PRODUCT! WELL, IF YOUR HEART IS MORE INTO THE PRODUCT RATHER THAN JUST $$$$.

3:50 PM - 12 Comments - 15 Kudos - Add Comment

BANDS LOOKING FOR MANAGEMENT...PLEASE READ!
Current mood: determined
Category: Music

Hi Guys!

We want to say Thank You to all the bands that have considered working with Indie Fusion Artist Management. From this point on, we are no longer taking submissions from Artists that are not signed to a record label with major distribution. We know there are amazing bands out there that have no representation and really need some sort of guidance. I wish we could be available 24/7 to help but that's not possible...so, if you shoot us an email to check out your band, please make sure you have a record deal with major distro or in the process of cutting a deal. There are amazing books out there to read in managing your own band. Every manager works different, but what has worked for me is sending out press..press..press!!! Myspace is a small world..venture out, get a job, save your money..so you can promote!!! Book as many shows as you can..make sampler cd's to pass out a few days before your show..get your album reviewed, go to as many shows as you can to see your favorite bands..make friends with them...get out on tour, etc..there is much more to it than that and believe me..I can go on forever!!  There are tons of amazing books you can buy that will help you every step of the way! Be professional and take your business seriously if you want to be taken serious!!! Don't sit around wondering why nobody is knocking at your door...because believe me..EVERY BAND THINKS THEY ARE THE NEXT BIG THING! Trust me..that's not the case!!! If you believe in your band..then keep moving forward and don't give up and don't get discouraged if a few people might not like your music!!! Remember, that everybody has a different taste in music.. Good Luck;)  Feel free to check out our newest artist, Building A Better Spaceship. The link will take you to their live show in Hawaii with 30 Seconds to Mars!

BUILDING A BETTER SPACESHIP IN HAWAII VIDEO

Sincerely,

Christina

12:52 AM - 4 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

SO, WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS BAND???
Current mood: curious
Category: Music

PLEASE POST YOUR COMMENTS HERE:) THANKS!

Thanks:) Please take a look at this band for me..they're song is playing on my page...No, I don't manage them nor do I even know them...just curious as to what your thoughts are..check out the song Fillmore too....POST A COMMENT, PLEASE:) I PROMISE..I DON'T HAVE ANY TIES TO THIS BAND...AT LEAST NOT YET!

Thanks spacedudes!

<3
The Brat

Looking for a band...here is my story...and serious inquiries only!!
Current mood: determined
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

Hi, it's me again..hehe:) sometimes I feel the need to let it all out...and to tons of strangers..hehe:) When I was a kid, I tried to commit suicide..I use to hold everything inside..after spending time in a suicide hospital..I feel the pressure that's taken off me by writing songs/poems, drawing, expressing it all to tons of strangers:) or through working with bands...read on...

I had a nanny that raised me in my home..she was everything to me...she started losing her eye sight so she decided it was her time to depart and go be with her own family. She raised me for 13 yrs of my life...she also raised my mom and uncles as well. No, I'm not spoiled!! My parents made sure I worked for every $1 to know the value...I was raised in an awesome home with two parents that are still together and very much in love. I guess you could just call me lucky!! I don't believe in divorce..My grandparents were together for 60yrs till my grandpappy passed..hehe..Grandpappy? ha! My sister is my best friend..she's older but so young at heart! I don't know where I would be without her...

So, I have a lot of love in my heart for people that need it...I don't know why my heart is so soft and why I just want to give so much...why I'm so sensitive and want to make a huge difference for others in my life...lately, life has been amazing!!! I mean,. there are certain things missing of course..but I have never been happier in my life!!! I'm single...no kids..no hubby..nobody officially in my life...maybe I met someone..maybe I haven't...I have to keep some things to myself:)

I lost a special friend in October...he was only 20yrs old...between his battle for cancer and his amazing will to live..I put so much energy thinking I could save him...I managed his band...this band wasn't just any band...I considered them my family...so everyone was under so much pressure...we all decided to take a break...I felt like I was losing it...although most of everyone didn't know I was talking to him quite often...I was!!! ...so in a lot of ways...I was suffering with him. After departing from the band...it took a huge toll on me...because I gave my heart and soul...but I knew I needed to regroup and take a new path in my life for a while...there were so many reminders of the hardships and heartaches from being a manager...the good times..the laughter...etc... I can't really talk about what path I have taken because again..I need to keep some things...for ME!

As happy as I am now..part of me is missing. Music is my soul...music keeps me alive!!! I chose to walk away for a while to reboot myself back to life...My friend is gone...I have kept myself away from the music scene for 4 months now...and that part of me that keeps my soul alive is in a box. I use to feel that way about my last boyfriend...but after being single BY CHOICE for 2yrs...I've learned to be happy on my own..although I have always been very independent...I have always loved having that best friend to cause trouble with. I don't look to it as my crutch though...at least not anymore!!!

My problem..

...I just don't know how to find that road leading me back to what I love the most..Music Management!! Maybe it's going to take some amazing band that will believe in me as much as I believe in them. I don't know!!! It's not that I don't have the will and power to find my way back...I just need that inspiration again...after losing Brad and in my heart knowing all along...he won't last too long...part of me gave up with him. I was actually on a phone conversation with his bandmate while Brad was in the hospital...saying to him...I'm ready...I'm ready to say goodbye...it was that unselfish part of me that couldn't bare to see him suffer anymore...but I never got to say goodbye! I spoke to Brad at least every other week..he asked me not to mention it to anyone...because he poured it all out to me...his fears..his dreams..his goals..his weakness! I didn't speak to him for a few weeks before his passing...so I didn't know how bad he was doing..when I got that phone call of his passing..I knew life wouldn't be the same!! I know what will snap me back again...making that difference...with music..the one thing I do with everything in me..

ok, back to my problem...

I feel like everytime I hear music or talk to people in my scene...it's just a painful reminder...a reminder that I can't seem to live through.. my biggest passion...music! It was my life..a life I miss so much...yet..I don't know how to go back..music has always been my passion...but for 5yrs now...music management is what bleeds through my veins...

I have been thinking all day as to what my next step will be to work towards finding that part of me that was hungry...hungry..living for the success I longed for...the success of the bands I have worked with in the past. I don't think it will be easy to fall back into...I don't think I am ready to go full force and take on a band...I wish I could...but I can't and it wouldn't be fair to a band either unless I can give it my all again! When I worked for a company...it was easy financially for various reasons...when I went on my own..I chose to work with smaller bands that I could grow with rather than just being another manager to them...but financially...I went into debt..helping a band grow..takes time and extreme effort!!! It takes trust on both ends...it's a long road...but it has to be taken together!!!

HERE'S THE DEAL!!

I would like to work with a band...OFF THE RECORD!!! I want nothing in return...a band that will not expect anything in return either!!! I will work as your manager...I don't want any sort of payment/financial commitment from you. I need to find my way back at my own pace. SLOWLY...but you only have to gain from it. You can leave anytime and there will be no contracts of any sort binding me to you or you to me!!! Through workig together..if the connection is there and we are working very well together...then we can talk about taking it to another level offically.  This is not easy for me...so you must understand that!! I have to absolutely fall in love with your music and have a lot of respect for the band as people...if you act like a rockstar and feel you are above the earth...you are NOT the right band for me. I want to work with real people that are each willing to put faith into me and I mean each and every member..even when they might not agree with a certain decision I might make not meaning that your opinion won't count!!! Please don't waste my time if you feel you can't hand it over. Another thing...this band will be a band I can work locally with. So you must be close to LA. I tried managing bands on the other side of the US but I need to be close by as often as possible to bring it together...it's just too much pressure and hard to fully bond without meeting as often as possible whether it's to meet with a record label, attorney, publicist, etc...! I have some great contacts and have an enormous background in promotion as well. Each member must be over the age of 18 with a solid background in music...willing to make 2007 the year for breaking out into the scene. This is my goal for 2007..to bring Christina back to life again..music is the key...if you feel your band has what it takes...post a blank reply in my blog and I will contact you if I feel any connection. Please...no rap, hip hop, country, metal, etc. Please take a look at my list of rock bands and if you fit in the same genre...once again..post a reply in my blog...I will contact you with my contact info...and please don't mistake a manager with a booking agent...I'M NOT A BOOKING AGENT!

Currently listening : Discovering the Waterfront By Silverstein Release date: 16 August, 2005

10:46 PM - 103 Comments - 117 Kudos - Add Comment

Friend requests, lectures and leave me a message here:)
Current mood: content
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

Life has never been better!!! I truly mean that! I wish I could say everything I have been doing but I can't lay all my cards out on the table, right? hehe;) Shhhhhhhh! I have never been happier in life and content with work. Life has it's ups and downs and believe me, I know about it! Losing a friend recently to cancer was one of my biggest heart breaks in my life...but he's in a better place. Losing other friends by choice was quite painful too...all I can say is...never settle! Surround yourself by real people that truly care about you!!! Learn from your mistakes and no matter how hard life is...laugh at it and don't tell yourself you can't get through it...because you can!

If you have a dream...go after it! If you want it that bad...you can bring it to life! Don't look to be inspired...go out and be the person that inspires! You only live once and I never looked at life this way as much as I do now! You don't need a man or woman to complete you...complete yourself!!! A man or woman should be the addition to your life...not what makes your life what it is! That's in your hands! Stop searching in others what you can find in yourself! get it?  I have been single by choice for about 2yrs! Since my last relationship, I was only serious about one person and due to the distance or whatever, it didn't work out!  OH WELL! I don't date...PLEASE! I want the guy who will laugh when he sees lettuce hanging from my mouth and adores me for it...you out there? email me...hehe;)  Life goes on dudes! When you look to this or that to make you happy...you are headed for a heart break! Find it in yourself! Need a challenge? Leave the poor people out of your insecurity you have in yourself...find the challenge in you and you alone! Hey, it works, try it! You don't need to impress anyone but yourself! Be the story that inspires someone to follow in your footsteps....Ok, I'll stop the lecture:)

Sorry to those of you that have written, have a friend request or sweet words to share that truly make me smile. You know who you are. Life has been busy lately  so it's hard to really be on myspace much but when I do get a chance...I check in briefly. I was one of the very first people on myspace...actually my picture was the first one the comment deal was tested on by Tom...so as you know...I have been on this thingy for a good while...started out using it as a promotional tool for promoting clubs...then bands, then my management company and so on...no, I don't go sitting here adding people to my friend list...I get the requests in my box...am I special, NO...people just want to use my page as a promotional tool...so more power to you;)

Friend Requests...I have a few thousand requests I have meant to add...my computer is very slow even with DSL and my laptop is broken...but once it's fixed..I will add everyone! No, it's not a popularity contest folks..PLEASE!!! I'm 31 years old! I just love people...simple! I wish myspace was still how it was when it first started...the first myspace party at barfly that was intimate and personal...those days are gone. It's just about promotion now and I wish I had the time to go through tons of spam to find a sweet email from someone cool. I love all people..white black, brown, gay, straight, crooked...I respect those who show respect and hope to meet all the sincere ones soon! I have some things up my sleeve like I always do! hehe:)

Anyways, hope to meet you soon and thanks for being patient with me! if you write and haven't heard back, it's because I haven't read your email or comment...have any questions or whatever...you know what to do,dude...post it below...:) I'll answer it in here...if you have any questions about the music biz...go for it...give me what you got as long as what you got won't be as long as what I have given...muah!!!!!!!

T@@TLES>>Me:)

8:37 PM - 95 Comments - 71 Kudos - Add Comment

You're Gone....[RIP]
Current mood: indescribable
Category: Writing and Poetry

©2006..COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL

WWW.COPYRIGHT.GOV/

you slipped away...I know...

I just don't want to believe you've drifted...somehow...

..my tears could fill a thousand pools..

I know you were hurting...I know the pain was indescribable...you always thought of  everyone else....you took the pain so others wouldn't feel it by putting up a front when your insides were hurting...

My fear came to life
The day you lost the fight
But a hero you remained
Touching the souls of so many that gained
Just from simply knowing you.... 

I know you're in a better place..
I know you have a smile upon you're face..
but I'm cryin' now!

Time just wasn't on your side..
this agony..I can no longer hide,
that's why I'm cryin' now

I played hide and seek with reality
I don't want to believe this tragedy
Hoping this was some joke on me...
but it's hittin' me now

I close my eyes in hopes to see
You standing right in front of me
Sayin "it's ok, it was all just a dream"
"Stop cryin' now".

I can't accept you laying there
All the goodbyes...
...all the prayer
Too unreal to me right now..

So, if you're gone
Why can't I move on?
Somehow I'm still linked to you now

If I could believe
It was your time to leave
My selfishness wouldn't take over me
I'd say a prayer and let you rest in peace
Please forgive me!

Remembering all the yesterdays
The tears, the fears, the agony
The strength and inspiration you were to me
In my heart, you'll forever be..

My tears are runnin' dry...

I pray for the day..
The smile...that once brushed your face
will appear before me somehow,
I'm waiting now...I'm waiting now..

I MISS YOU! PLEASE WATCH OVER EVERYONE...YOU ARE IN SUCH A BETTER PLACE...YOU'RE BOYS ARE DOING WELL AND GUESS WHAT...YOU WERE PART OF MAKING THAT HAPPEN AND I GET THE FEELING NOBODY WILL EVER REPLACE YOU FOR THEM...I WISH THINGS WERE DIFFERENT..I GO ON YOUR PAGE AND READ THE COMMENTS AS I BREAK OUT IN TEARS...WHEN I READ CASKET OR COFFIN...AND YOU LAYING THERE...IT KILLS ME INSIDE...IT'S SO UNREAL TO ME...THE HARDEST PART OF IT ALL WAS WHEN I HEARD THE NEWS WHILE I WAS AT THE AIRPORT...ONLY INTO MY FIRST WEEK IN SEATTLE. I HATE THAT I NEVER HAD THE CHANCE TO HUG YOU AND TELL YOU, IT'S GOING TO BE OK! I KNOW YOU WERE SCARED...YOU USE TO SAY TO ME...HOW BADLY YOU WANTED TO LIVE...BUT HOW BADLY YOU HURT..HOW PEOPLE NEVER TRULY KNEW WHAT YOU WERE GOING THROUGH...BECAUSE EVERYONE ONLY SAW THE FRONT YOU PUT BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T WANT OTHERS TO HURT OVER YOU....I WILL NEVER FORGET OUR LONG TALKS THAT WOULD LAST FOR HOURS...THE DAYS WE GOT DRUNK TOGETHER AND LAUGHED TILL WE TURNED RED....THE DAY WE DRESSED YOU UP LIKE A GIRL FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY WHEN I CAME UP TO CINCI! THAT PICTURE OF YOU WAS THE LAST PHOTO I SAW BEFORE I LEFT TO SEATTLE LAST MONTH! IT WAS SITTING ON MY COUCH...ONLY DAYS BEFORE I GOT THE NEWS THAT YOU WERE GONE! I'M HAPPY FOR YOU DARLIN...YOU'RE NOT SUFFERING ANYMORE! I AM SAD FOR EVERYONE THAT LOVED YOU...EVERYONE THAT KNEW YOU...I'M SAD FOR MYSELF! GOD GAVE THOSE IN HEAVEN A GIFT BY TAKING YOU UP THERE! THANK YOU FOR BEING MY FRIEND...FOR ALWAYS BELIEVING IN ME..AS A MANAGER...AS A FRIEND...FOR NEVER TURNING YOUR BACK ON ME! I MISS YOU SOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!! BRAD, YOUR DREAM WAS TO BE A ROCKSTAR...THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE SAW YOU NOT ONLY AS A ROCKSTAR BUT THEIR HERO...OUR SUPERMAN!!! YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO BE IN CLOSE TO HOME ....DARLIN, YOU COULDN'T BE ANY CLOSER TO HOME THAN YOU ARE NOW! WOW! THIS HURTS!

PLEASE COME VISIT ME...WHEN I CLOSE MY EYES...I WILL BE LOOKING FOR YOU, BUDDY! I LOVE YOU!

XOXO

C

11:05 PM - 20 Comments - 24 Kudos - Add Comment

This post will be updated weekly...
Current mood: indescribable
Category: Life

This is how I'm feeling right now... Music mends my soul...I listen to it for therapy...therapy for my mind, my being and mostly for my heart! Check it out weekly if you care how I am feeling...ha! Maybe I am trying to tell you something...*winks* You know who you are...or do you? Wait, who are you? haha!

9:07 PM - 21 Comments - 17 Kudos - Add Comment