There is a world of music that engulfs my mind at a given time but lately there has been one that stands out brightly, "Magic Dance" by David Bowie. I just can't get it out of my head. I have searched the universe, probed time and space and given up hope that "the one" who was right for me was still out there. I had even listened to my friends who repeatedly told me I wouldn't find everything in a mate that I wanted because my standards were too high. I figured that were that the case I would be perfectly happy alone because I like my own company and prefer that to being with someone wasn't really what I wanted. So part of me never really gave up. About a month ago going through a bit of an emotional upheaval being involved with one of my ex's that I had no business being involved with that way led me to solve my problem the only way I know how… magic. I did a call a "soul mate" spell that is something like the beacon NASA sends into space saying, "If you exist… here I am." My search has ended. True love does and has always existed. Before I say any more I have to give you a run down of how I believe this whole soul mate process works. I've put it in many blogs over the years… but if for some reason you missed it or we are newly acquainted here goes:
From the origin, The Guf or Hall of Souls, located in the 7th Heaven according to Kabbalahis where a group of souls is made. I wrote a poem about this in grammar school having had no religious instruction (if you know me you know I detest religion but respect the events or truths that sparked men to create something out of what they have encountered or experienced with their limited understanding) about this place. So I see it like this, a batch of souls is made like a big bowl of cookie dough. Then it is separated into cookies and baked. Then the cookies are broken in half like the yin yang symbol and put into different bodies across the universe. Some are male, some are female, and some live in different dimensions and different worlds. Still with me?
When we meet up with one of our own batch the experience can be incredibly beautiful and rewarding. Tons of love exists between us and our fellow time traveling partners. We are brothers and sisters of origin. Coming across even one of them can and will leave a lasting impression and a deep love for them that we may not be able to explain. The Irish have a term for this it's "Mo Anamchara" which translates to "soul friend." The term has nothing to do with romance but rather a kinship between people who travel together through lifetimes. Sometimes we can over look one of them completely for being all tied up in the world we are currently experiencing. They will however, come when you call them. If you seek romantic love with a soul mate and one of them happens to be of the opposite sex, or same if you are gay, or even just friendship, then finding a soul mate is the most rewarding experience of spiritual significance there an be in regard to proving all things beyond this perception do exist. I've come close… very close to finding that other half of my cookie. I've encountered more soul mates in this life time than any other with exception to meeting at the gathering point between worlds (death). I've had a lot of love in this place and many have really had my back. My soul family is quite frankly the schinizit.
Super long story shortened… I called, he came. When I did the spell I got a very clear feedback from the Akashic records by way of a vision. I'd had the same one before but from a different angle and dismissed it because I didn't know what it pertained to. So anyway armed with this vision I went back in to the battle field of life and put it out of my mind. About a week later I was on my way home for lunch. I come home from lunch every day because it's cheaper and I have to check my myspace like any myspace addict and my mind started deviating from course. I suddenly became obsessed with returning a video from Red Box (that I never watched btw) that had already been rented for the next day… so there was no reason to return it nor interrupt my sacred lunch hour. While I argued with myself I noticed that I was turning into the Walmart parking lot and returning the film.
Rushing back to my car with hopes of making it home in time to at least log in for a few I felt the familiar feeling I've come to recognize as the probe of a searching psychic mind making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. 9 times out of 10 encounters with ones own kind are pleasant but every group has its crazies. I didn't know what to expect and I really wanted to get home when I heard someone yell my name. I turned around wondering, "What does this asshole want???" and ready for anything. Being called out in public is usually not a good sign. So I turn around and there is one of my childhood friends sitting in his SUV. My mood lightened and I ran over to where he was parking to exchange pleasantries. Suddenly I had butterflies in every part of my body. His energy was vivid, he looked amazing. I could sense light pouring out of him from everywhere. I had to control an urge to throw my arms around him and not let go. It was crazy. I maintained my dignity and told him to call me sometime, we'd catch up over the past few years.
I digress, with my own lack of vision I let this one get away several times. He has asked me out since 8th grade… when I would sit back and watch how he interacted with other females at school. The unbuttoned shirt, thick silver chain, the big 80's Happy Day's Chachi hair… all screamed "man whore." When he would express interest I would laugh and brush him off. I was not about to get involved with a man whore who surely could not recognize me for who I was and watched every skirt that went by. I came into this world knowing I am a goddess and expecting nothing less than royal appreciation. I've seen him through the years, between marriages and he's asked me out. Again, I'd be flattered but kept the same opinion. His relationships weren't working out—must be a man whore. One time he asked for my number and was at a club with a woman. I was a bit offended for who I thought was his date so I told him I didn't have a phone. We remained friends and I kept an unquestionable fondness for him… but I wasn't going to get played. When I saw him this time… everything clicked—it was like the planets aligned and everything fell solidly into place. He asked me why after 20 some odd years I finally said yes. My only answer and simple truth is, "because it's right." I should have asked him why he kept asking.
So the universe loves me… I asked and it delivered him to me… perhaps a little rough around the edges from past hurts and experiences… wings a bit charred and sooted up… but he's here straight from faerie land, with dreams of remembrance of, elves, fae and magic, still clutching a moonbeam in his hand, wee bit of stardust still smudged behind his ear, an angel who holds the mystical wisdom of the ages peeking out from behind those beautiful lucid eyes with shades of green, blue and brown… beckoning me in like the tide of the ocean or the nightscapes of space. I can't resist him and I have no desire to. I am completely and utterly in love. Somehow he loves me and my psycho self as much as I love him. The faerie court shall be pleased… they finally have their king.
The Claddagh's design features two hands holding a heart mounted by a crown. The symbolism of the ring stands for love (the heart), friendship (the hands), loyalty (the crown) and eternity (the circle). The expression which was associated with these symbols in the giving of the ring was: "Let love and friendship reign."The Claddagh ring is a traditional Irish ring, given in friendship, love and also worn as a wedding ring. Any Irish person who comes upon another wearing one is supposed to help the person in distress. For almost two centuries the symbol of the Claddagh has been one of the more distinct ways in which the American Irish recognize each other.
The design and customs associated with it originated from the Irish fishing village of Claddagh, located just outside the old walls of Galway. The ring was produced in the 17th century during the reign of Queen Mary II, though elements of the design are much older. Because of the Irish Potato Famine (1845–1849) many Irish emigrated from Ireland, and the Claddagh ring spread along with the emigrants to the United States and elsewhere. Now the design is worn worldwide. These rings are often considered heirlooms, and passed on from mother to daughter as well as siblings, between friends, and lovers.
A "Fenian" Claddagh, without the crown, was designed in Dublin for the Irish Republican community. The Fenian Claddagh, while still being made, has not approached the popularity of the ancient design. The crown is linked to the legend of the ancient Fisher King's. No, not the Robin William's film.
In Celtic Mythology, the Fisher King may be derived more or less directly from the figure of Bran the Blessed in the Mabinogion; in the Second Branch, Bran had a cauldron that could resurrect the dead, which he gave to the king of Ireland as a wedding gift for him and his sister Branwen. Later, he wages war on the Irish and is wounded in the foot or leg, and the cauldron is destroyed. He asks his followers to sever his head and take it back to Britain, and his head continues talking and keeps them company on their trip. The group lands in Grassholm, where they spend 80 years in a castle of joy and abundance, but finally they leave and bury Bran's head in London.
This story has analogues in two other important Welsh texts: the Mabinogion tale Culhwch and Olwen, in which King Arthur's men must travel to Ireland to retrieve a magical cauldron, and the obscure poem The Spoils of Annwn, which speaks of a similar mystical cauldron sought by Arthur in the otherworldly land of Annwn.In the Welsh Romance Peredur son of Efrawg, based on Chrétien (or derived from a common original) but containing several prominent deviations, the Grail has been removed entirely.
The character of the Fisher King appears (though he is not called thus) and presents Peredur with a severed head on a platter. Peredur later learns he was related to that king, and that the severed head was that of his cousin, whose death he must avenge.The legends of the Fisher Kings are directly related to the story of the origin of The Celtic People from an otherworldly commencement.
Those who hold the secrets of the Fisher Kings are said to be holders of the secrets of life, death, origin of our species and how to control the function of each of these aspects. When one wears a claddagh ring they are acknowledging or taking part in the ancient secrets of the source of life itself…. Love.
Today the way that a Claddagh ring is worn on the hand is usually intended to convey the wearer's romantic availability, or lack thereof. Traditionally, if the ring is on the right hand with the design facing outward and away from the body, this indicates that the person wearing the ring is not in any serious relationship, and may in fact be single and looking for a relationship. When worn on the right hand but with the design facing inward toward the body, this indicates the person wearing the ring is in a relationship, or that "someone has captured their heart". A Claddagh worn on the left hand ring finger, facing outward away from the body, generally indicates that the wearer is engaged. When the ring is on the left hand ring finger and facing inward toward the body, it generally means that the person wearing the ring is married.
Claddaghs continue to be worn, primarily by those of Irish heritage, as both a cultural symbol and as engagement and wedding rings. At their Celtic Pagan handfasting, Scottish American musician Jim Morrison of The Doors and Irish American author Patricia Kennealy-Morrison exchanged claddagh rings.
Mommy’s Little Monster :D
Current mood: focused
Category: Blogging
I've been tagged by Rogue. The game is played by listing 13 little known or seemingly odd facts about you and then tagging 13 more people to do the same.
My desire in life is to find the knowledge and ability to cure sickness, be that mental, spiritual or physical. I completely believe that all sickness, disease and ageing begin with sadness. I've yet to see anyone fall ill that didn't suffer a heartbreak or terrible loss directly beforehand. I also believe that the crazy things people do are linked to this and in desperate ploys to seek happiness out of survival instinct, people will do unexpected and bizarre things.
While at times feeling put out by peoples lack of abilities to see beyond their own paradigm of reality I find myself marveling at the very reality of the talking, thinking, relating, primates that build cathedrals, write music, sing, feel, and probe the universe with their minds. Compared to other beings mankind is a god. I find myself worshiping the very existence of this state called "human."
I'm on a personal mission to gather and share as much workable knowledge as my mind can hold and others are willing to share.
I've always thought and understood on some level but has only become clear recently that even things who do not communicate directly (speak my language) are self aware and actively seeking to communicate… eg: The Earth… is self aware. Something that is self aware has a mind, feels pain, sadness, joy, comfort, pleasure, jealousy, pride, courage, and desire for companionship.
People who claim to be concerned for my welfare constantly tell me that my lifestyle is not healthy, yet I'm never sick and all of them consistently are. I honestly believe that is because I indulge myself out of hedonistic tendencies and pleasure seeking experiences because I enjoy them while they turn to them out of pain. Seeking relief for pain is not the same as simply enjoying a moment. Pleasure for pain relief only seeks to heal not guard against sadness.
I have almost died twice from a broken heart. The first time was when my parents split up. Their split was violent and they both fought dirty for custody of me. I loved them both and knew that I would lose one of them forever. My colon ulcerated and I had to have surgery on my 8th birthday to stop the hemorrhaging. When it didn't stop my spirit guardian came to my bedside and told me to "stop it," or I was going to die and we had too many things to do. Then about a decade ago I suffered a broken heart of a romantic sort. I ended up weighing in the double digits (being 5' 5" I looked beyond anorexic) and my skin was turning green-blue. The doctors put me in the hospital and ran numerous tests not being able to find what was wrong. My spirit guardian came to me again with the familiar annoyance with me asking me again if I wanted to die and to "quit," there was too much to do. My daughter called me on the phone asking when I would be home. I willed myself enough strength to check myself out of the hospital against their wishes and decided to live for the love of the little voice on the other end of that phone.
One of the reasons I have studied and been so fascinated with Edgar Cayce was because the stories of his early life were very much like my own. When I was three I became very aware of a group of people who could talk to me without words and who would appear to me when we were alone. Not unlike Cayce, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I said I wanted to be a super hero like Wonder Woman, Jean Grey or Firestar which pleased them. Then I said, "or a super star rock singer like KISS," referring to Gene Simmons. I could sense the exacerbation of their disapproval as a cloud of impeding doom. LOL
I was born a leader. Not only do I have the three strongest astrological signs, Aries, Scorpio and Leo as the focal trinity of my natal make up but I simply can not stand any situation in which I am not calling the shots—at least for myself. A perfect example of this is a story my grandmother loves to tell about when I came to visit them in Pre-K. I went to church with them and they left me in the nursery. When they came to pick me up the poor teachers had wide eyes and told my grandparents, "She'll be a leader, this one. She came in here, lined all the kids up, put herself in the front of the line and marched them outside." My grandmother asked if there was anything wrong with that and the teacher replied that there wouldn't have been but it was nap time, we weren't going outside and I had taken control of the classroom.
While I try to be understanding and maintain the idea that all people have the ability to add to the greater potential, new adult awakenings get on my nerves. I have to fight the tendency to tell people off who come to me telling me that they are some great spiritual leader, guardian off all, dark god of the yah-yah, savior or son of the gods sent from a far off galaxy to help me or mankind. I really have to use self control not to tell them to move out they mamma's basement, quit playing D&D and WOW with their 40 yr old freak friends because it's not real… get the fuck over yourselves and quit being weak minded flakes. You're just another talking monkey who had an epiphany and a few psychic experiences…. You loser. ….
My daughter was named Gabriele after Gabriele Münter of the Blue Horseman movement during Nazi Germany. Der Blaue Reiter was a group of artists aiming to express spirituality and mysticism through art. The name translates to "Blue Horseman" or "Blue Rider." The principle members were Wassily Kandinsky, Franz Marc, Paul Klee, Auguste Macke, Alfred Kubin, and Gabriele Münter. The movement is considered one of the most important periods of expressionism. Gabriele was a rebel who being of noble German blood was virtually untouchable by the Nazi's wanting to extol her kind of bloodline. She worked secretly against them and smuggled many works of art into other countries to protect the pieces and their meanings
I have recently discovered a deep love for the new fat free ice cream. To be specidic, Blue Bunny's Peanut Butter Fudge. It has bunny shaped peanut butter filled chocolates in it with hot fudge ripples in a peanut buttery ice cream. The new ice cream is made with heavy cream so it doesn't taste like the old stuff made with nasty skim milk that lacked texture. The problem is that along with the warning on the side of the carton that states excessive indulging can cause a laxative effect… even a small amount causes excessive flatulence. My poor co-workers.
I have on occasion passed gas in public and blamed it on other people. The one I feel the worst about was at the grocery store. I'm not kidding when I tell you that it was lingering. A really cute guy was walking my way and looking directly at me. Out of desperation I looked over at an old woman who's back was to me and made a "pew* face. When he got closer he looked at me and laughed like we had a secret that the old lady farted.
I wrote this on 19 April but saw something about it in todays headlines so I though I'd repost my blog...
Everywhere I turn I read that the world will end in 2012. It will be on 21 December 2012 blah blah to be exact or so says every guru, alien channeling medium and enigmatic hopeful I have encountered for the past two decades now.Let me just drop a beautiful cliché on you right here… "The future belongs to those who believe in it."
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It is true that several calendars from the ancient worlds sort of end there. The Venus Calendar used by the Mayans seems to end there but in truth starts there and counts backwards some 25,800 yrs.
Yes… it runs backwards. On this day, 21 December 2012, a rare astronomical and Mayan mythical event occurs. The Sun will line up conjunct to the intersection of the Milky Way and the plane of the Ecliptic. The Milky Way extends in a general north-south direction in the night sky. The plane of the Ecliptic is the track the Sun, Moon, planets and stars travel in the sky, from east to west. It intersects the Milky Way at a 60 degree angle near the constellation Sagittarius. The Tzolkin (symbols used by the Mayans to represent different energies of different days linking planetoid energies with the Earth much like the Celt's Book of Days symbolized by trees) symbol for this day is The Tree…. Or as other ancients have called it "The Tree of Life." ....
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If you are interested in the actual Venus calendar Google " Maya codices." They are folding books stemming from the pre-Columbian Maya civilization, written in Maya hieroglyphic scrpit on Mesoamerican paper. The folding books are the products of professional scribes working under the patronage of their "Howler Monkey Gods." The codices have been named for the cities in which they eventually settled. The ....Dresden.... codex is generally considered the most important of the few that survived. ....
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Back to the date close at hand…. Due to a phenomenon called the precession of the equinoxes, caused by the Earth's wobble that lasts almost 26,000 years, the location of the Winter Solstice sunrise has been ever so slowly moving toward the ....Galactic.. ..Center..... Precession is something like a spinning top. Over many revolutions the top will raise and dip on its axis. The Earth does this like a spinning top in space over many millennia. Precession is a complete cycle of a rise and a dip. The Mayans noticed the slippage of the positions of stars in the night sky over long periods of time. By using an invention we call the Long Count, the Mayans fast-forwarded to anchor December 21, 2012 as the end of their Great Cycle and then counted backwards to decide where the calendar would begin. So the Great Cycle we are currently in began on August 11, 3114 BCE ....
What everyone wants to know is if the world will end then. Look at it like this… modern man wrote the calendars on our computer systems to run until 2000. The Mayan weren't predicting the end of the world… they were reaching for a point in time that they believed their calendar would be good until. Unfortunately… the joke was on them because their calendar lasted longer than their civilization. A logical person would note there was no mark that denoted an end for their own people. Were they clairvoyant or leaving a warning for the people of the future—they would have saved their own asses first. What you thought the ancients just loved you so much they wanted you to know? Grow up! The calendar is nothing more than an ingenious way to count days. ....
Now if you believe that you are psychic… you probably are. If that is the case please by all means go and work on your abilities until they are peek. One of these days we'll get together over tea and compare notes. However, if you are one of those I endearingly call a pawn of the gods please don't leave your tripish comments on my blog… you're just embarrassing yourself. I know your god told you in your head that the end is near. The whole idea of the end of the world seems to me to be the one the most egocentric of the crazies cling to justify the injustices in their sad lives. Unfortunately there are many losers in our society so they develop a following of said mentally challenged and start a bloody church or new religion. The ultra pathetic truth is that these people heralding end times simply can not stand the thought of their own mortality or the idea that the world can and simply WILL go on without them. Boo-Hoo… Loser. ....
I get letters everyday from nut jobs (who will remain nameless just incase they actually wake up and decide to rejoin the world) that have a psychic experience or encounter something they think is a mystical experience or even the rarer but occasional real thing—a new awakening (I won't even get started on what a new awakening goes through, it can be hairy) telling me they are the son of god or think they are "chosen" by some deity to do something great. Dude… if you need to be the servant to something greater than yourself… I'm here for you. My house needs to be cleaned—it is my temple—you can worship me starting at 8:00 Saturday mornings. Get a reality check!!!! Ok… I'm done. Moving forward….....
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Along the same lines of discussion come the Egyptian astrological calendars. I know I know—Great Pyramid yadda-yadda-yadda. Know what???? Do ya wanna know, huh? huh? They are backwards too. I'm sure many of you have heard that we are coming into or are in or have just passed the Age of Aquarius. (*shudder* mental images from "HAIR") The Age just left was Pisces. Modern astrologers will tell you that Pisces is the sign of psychic awareness—awareness of ones own mind and the end of a cycle. Have I confused you yet? Ok-- AfterPisces the Sun enters Aries and commences the cycle all over again. However the Astrological Ages proceed in the reverse direction. Therefore after the Age of Pisces, the next age is the Age of Aquarius, followed by the Age of Capricorn, and so on. ....
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Now this may be hard for some to understand but since so many are looking for something ancient to follow I'll throw you a bone… The Egyptians did not use a Roman calendar so the end of the Age of Pisces is not actually until around…. Ta da 21st December 2012. …and the continuous cycle starts again. *AchAch* (Sorry Howler Monkey God moment)....
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What you were hoping for an apocalypse?You ego centered bastard! LOL Sorry to tell you that you will more than likely see your hair grey and your butt sag. Deal with it. But like I said… if you still need a deity… I'm available nights and weekends. Holidays will be announced later as I decide them... and be aware that I will accept booze as a holy sacrement and money as an offering. ;)
You may now exit my throne room... keep your hands inside the gate and mind the gap.
I was talking to a friend at Fat Albert's over a few beers last night and we had a conversation over people and their trauma. I said that one of our friends was a bit "throwed off" but that is was understandable because they had been through a lot. He made the comment that some people seem to deal with things and others are just not as resilient.Anyone who knows me knows that I grew up in med school labs and the study of genetics is something of an obsession with me. My love of medicine started when my step dad went through med school at Texas Tech and because we couldn't afford baby sitters I would go to class with him and help him take notes. I spent a lot of time in the labs but my favorite subject was genetics. The conversation last night reminded me of a study I read in Scientific American back around 2003
Scientist have concluded that there is a genetic link in people who develop Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. My step dad had it. He was a Vietnam vet. He was a Marine who served two tours. He would wake up with night terrors screaming because in his mind he was back in the war zone. I would always wake up and run in to check on him. Unlike most of the stories I've heard about people not wanting to talk about their trauma he would tell me stories about all the horrific things he saw and experienced. Sometimes he would make us both hot chocolate while I listened to him talk other times he would just hold me in his lap and cry. He is a pretty special person though, a healer, an emergency room doctor (the fast paced ER keeps him busy) and someone with an IQ so high it's scary. Obviously his was not so severe that it effected his every day life. He was able to study and graduate med school with honors and stays in the job he has in an effort to give back life to the world he took life from. He's not the norm but he obviously had the genetic trait that allowed him to develop PTSD.
I'm going to step out on a limb and say that I do not have that genetic trait. I've survived natural disasters, a paranoid schizophrenicand physically abusive husband, losing my mother to mental illness, being kidnapped by a serial killer and kept in a car as a child, tortured, raped and starved (he was decapitated in a car accident), almost losing my child to kidney disease (she's well now) and a long list of horrific things the average person could never fathom. After a few of these instances my grandparents, who were always the ones to take me in when my mom would go back into the mental hospital or did something else crazy so that I would become a homeless child, decided that I must be crazy after having gone through some of the insanity. The councilors one after another told them that I was a normal and mentally healthy young woman and instinctively had healthy ways of dealing with things on my own. They finally gave up and saved their money. I count myself lucky because I know that if I had developed any kind of dehibilitating illness such as PTSDI wouldn't be alive right now nor would many of the people in my life I love so dearly.
What fascinates me is that it is genetic. The implications of genetics being a factor leave open an entirely new universe of possibilities for treatment and prevention. We know the cause… now we can find a cure. Below is an article I stole from Psychiatric Times on this topic. I would love to start a conversation thread on this topic and get your insight, experiences and thoughts. Where do we go from here?
Some people are clearly more susceptible to PTSD than others. While over 50% of U.S. women and 60% of men report having experienced a traumatic event at some point in their lives, only about 10% of women and 5% of men develop PTSD. In the August issue of the Psychiatric Times, Dr. Karestan C. Koenen, assistant professor in the department of society, human development, and health at the Harvard University School of Public Health, wrote about the genetics of of PTSD.
Up until the 1990's, PTSD was believed to be rare in the general population - affecting only special groups, such as Vietnam War veterans. But recent studies have shown that PTSD most likely has a genetic component.
Genetically distinct mouse strains reared in identical environments show variation in response to fear conditioning.
In an earlier study of Cambodian refugees, children whose parents had PTSD were almost five times more likely to receive the diagnosis than children whose parents did not develop PTSD.
Based .. from the Vietnam Era Twin Registry, which was created from the military records of male-male twin pairs who served in the Vietnam War, substantial genetic influences were also found on all PTSD symptoms, after adjusting for differences in combat exposure. There were similar findings in a non-veteran community sample of male and female twins
Association studies of PTSD focusing on candidate genes involved in the dopaminergic system, which is one of the neurotransmitter systems involved in fear conditioning, found some evidence for the involvement of the D2 dopamine receptor gene (DRD2) and dopamine transporter gene SLC6A3.
Gene expression profiles in peripheral blood mononuclear cells differentiated between individuals who developed PTSD and those who did not.
In the short term, identifying specific genes and figuring out how they work will make it possible to understand the neurobiological systems involved in PTSD and other related disorders.The hope is that genetic information can be used to develop predictive tests and better drug therapies.
Humans are amazingly resilient, bouncing back from traumatic and stressful events time and time again. Pain isn't completely bad, though. As the Dalai Lama said,
[Pain] is a remarkable, elegant, and sophisticated biological system that warns us of damage to our body and thus protects us. …it is the feeling of unpleasantness that galvanizes and compels the entire organism to attend and act. It also sears the experience into the memory and serves to protect us in the future.
My crazy Irishman sent this to me for my birthday... I laughed so hard I thought I’d share. The golden or yellow rose is called the rose of hope. It has long been a nickname he’s called me because I’m from Texas and the historical Yellow Rose of Texas and myself have the same name.
Here is my amusing response to that. LOL yeah.. I’m being a dork. :p
Historical information about the Revolutionary, Emily Morgan is quite interesting. She was born Emily West, a free black woman. She was an important part of black, womens’ and Texas history. In 1836 met up with James Morgan, making her name Emily Morgan. Texas was then entering revolution. The Siege of Béxar put the Mexican army to momentary flight, and early the next year, General Antonio López de Santa Anna Pérez de Lebrón entered the state in a mood to crush rebellion. By April 1836 James Morgan was in full support of the revolutionary government and the army collected under Sam Houston. Morgan was not then at his settlement of New Washington, but in Galveston in command of Fort Travis and creating avenues of escape for Texians.
On April 16 a Mexican cavalry unit led by Col. Juan N. Almonte rode into New Washington in hot pursuit of Texas President David G. Burnet and his family—effectively the revolutionary government at the time.
The soldiers just missed capturing Burnet and occupied themselves by looting the supplies in New Washington and taking certain captives. General Santa Anna arrived the next day and allowed an extended time for rest and plunder, then ordered everything burned.
Emily, according to a slim but extant story told later, was apparently taken captive by the army to the encampment at the plain of San Jacinto. The Mexican army was well known for being accompanied by soldaderas, women who provided cooking and washing and sexual favors for the men. Captives were occasionally impressed into such service.
But Santa Anna himself was, personally, a very attractive man. Then at the height of military and political power, in his early forties, handsome and rich, the general was a desirable man, as proven by a long line of agreeable mistresses and in spite of an obvious opium habit.
Whether Emily was a rape victim of Col. Almonte’s troopers or the general himself or a willing mistress is simply not known. No evidence exists either way, although later fiction describes her variously as a rape victim, a woman who sacrificed her honor to spy for the Texians, the love of a black Texian soldier who only wanted to be reunited with her in freedom, or an unknowing pawn in a brutal, provincial war.
The most prurient version places her at the plain of Saint Hyacinth in the general’s tent on the afternoon of April 21, delaying him in a setting of champagne, chocolates, silver and crystal place settings, and few clothes—while the Texians started their charge which would end in the bloody slaughter of Santa Anna’s forces.
The champagne, chocolates, silver, and opium habit are confirmed. Major George Erath, a native Austrian on the Texian side, later mentioned strongly but with little real detail that "our victory was made much easier by Santa Anna’s voluptuousness." No woman was mentioned.
Long after the battle, Mexican officers who had survived the rout, particularly those who could be critical of their former leader, mentioned Santa Anna’s helplessness, ignorance, and even cowardice. But they mention no woman. Their stories do not even mention the general’s state of undress—as he often appears in story—when he exited his tent in great confusion and in haste to desert the battlefield.
A small number of Mexican historians did mention the general’s "quadroon mistress during the Texas campaign."
After the battle Emily is known to have been in the service of Isaac N. Moreland, an artilleryman at San Jacinto, a later county judge at Houston, and a natural friend of Sam Houston. Moreland adds nothing to the legend, but he did attest that Emily had lost her papers certifying her freedom. Most people assumed, as a black, she had been Morgan’s slave, brought to Texas under the guise of indentured status. The name Morgan was added to her record probably by people who assumed that, as a slave, she would have logically carried her owner’s name. Moreland noted Emily’s earlier arrival to Texas when he sponsored her application for a passport to return home. She had apparently had enough of the Republic of Texas. The application was granted, and Emily apparently left the republic in March of 1837 on board one of Morgan’s ships bound for New York. And she vanishes from record. by John L. Davis
This is why I have always loved black women. I believe they are on this earth to be councilors and to speak the truth. No one can deliver what has to be said like a black woman.
If you have ever been in love watch this. It’s short. If you have ever had your heart broken. Watch this. I heard something recently that was complete truth to me... a Star can not shine with a broken heart. Well, here is something that starts the mending... at least for me.
Psychological Profiling Survey :p
Current mood: anxious
Category: Blogging
1. If you could escape for one day, where no one could find you... where would you go? Croagh Patrick, Co. Mayo, Ireland
2.What's your favorite childhood memory? Hanging out in the science lab when my step-dad was in med school. I was surrounded by brilliant minds and developed a deep love for medicine and the science. I've always been attracted to brilliance.
3. Which school teacher do you remember most and why? Col. Draper from ROTC because he saw in me what others could not. He smiled at me one day and told me that he had it on the highest authority that I would do amazing things. At a party he told my grandparents that I was "special" in a way they couldn't understand but if they could they would be more proud of me than anyone else they knew. To have someone that strong believe in you that much... is enough to make things happen. I will always have the biggest soft spot for him for believing in me.
4. Everyone has something that torments them. What's yours? There are many... but most recently I was asked to do a psychic healing on a friend. I got a very clear picture of what looked like a pulsing zit in the base of her skull. Through my remote viewing exercises I've learned to get "words" to define a situation. The word I got was "pop." Being overly emotional I was losing focus and allowed my feelings to overlay the situation. I thought I was supposed to make what i thought was a tumor "pop." I asked her if she wanted me to and she thankfully said no. When she went to the doctor they found what I was seeing exactly where I said it was but it was an aneurism. I almost killed her. It wakes me up at night and makes me sick.
5. What are you looking forward to the most? seeing old friends... one in particular who is traveling a long way across the big pond to see me at the Irish Fest.
6. What is your most cherished possession? my pictures I've collected of people I love and have known
7. What is the funniest thing that has happened to you lately? two things... one, at work we have a lot of down time so I sketch. One of the guys that works in the warehouse sat down at my desk and gasp, "thats incredible! are you an artist?" I just looked at him like he was "special" and told him, "no, I was just possessed by the ghost of Michelangelo for 15 minutes but I'm fine now." Everyone cracked up including him.
two, yesterday this golden god walked into my store and straight up to my desk. I'm not kidding when I say he was the most attractive guy I've seen in years. He was over 6' 3" with shoulders as broad as he was tall, perfect features, golden hair, a Colgate smile and sparkeling blue eyes. I felt my eggs ache and heard a wee voice in the back of my mind that said, "I want to have your children." lol I haven't felt like that since my favorite norwegian. I kept getting from him that he was a family type man and would be a perfect mate. As the day went on and I couldn't get Captian America out of my head I decided to check him out. O'boy has a wife and 5 KIDS!!! 5 ... apparently he thinks he should breed too. LOL
8. What's your favorite quotation and why? toss us between two: "Believe it or not, I can actually draw." - Michelangelo "Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead." - Lucille Ball
9. What was the sexiest scene you remember from a movie? be specific! "Enemy at the Gates" it was a Russian War movie about Russian foot soldiers, at the Battle for Stalingrad in WWII. The love scene between Rachel Weisz and Jude Law was the most passionate and exciting one I have ever seen. The emotion and heart pounding desperation of true love in impossible circumstance between two warriors who believed in their cause and in each other was the hottest thing I've seen on screen... ever.
10. If you had the opportunity to be anyone in the world for one week, who would it be and why? Edgar Cayce, so i could explain to people why certain things work and not leave them such a mystery. That has always frustraited me about him even though I admire him so much. People wouldn't have thought he was weird if he just expalined.
11. What's your favorite love song? shùil a rùin
12. If you only had time to say goodbye to just one person, who would it be? my daughter... so she would know that I will never leave her
13. Whats the funniest thing that has ever happened to you? Back when I was teaching Irish dance I was asked to preform at a local club for St Patricks Day. I decided to do a traditional soft shoe céilí dance. Most of the patrons were country and used salt on the floor. Rosen is one thing but salt is slippery! In the middle of the preformance I fell and my skirt went right over my head. I finished the preformance but with a red face... and had to take a few shots of Irish whiskey before joining the festivities with people who had just seen a display of everything beneath ma kilt.
14. If you could change anything about your life, what would it be? I would be ascended so that I could watch over and care for all my loved ones not just one at a time
15. Whats the most memorable scene from a movie, to you? "Highlander," when Ramirez tells Connor "You've no knowledge whatsoever of your potential!" That stuck with me and I hear it often.
16. What is the funniest thing that ever happened to someone you know? She will probably kick me for this... but the people i work with are very close to my heart. We work 9 hrs a day with each other and have a lot of down time so we talk about everything. The other girl in the office said when she was a teenager she had a car accident that someone called in as a hit and run. She was crying and shook up. When the police arrived on the sceen the officer told her someone called in a hit and run. She sniffed and said, "Well, I guess so... i hit someone and they ran!" The officer laughed out loud. That makes me laugh.
17. What or who touches your heart? random acts of kindness, my family, friends, my cats and Thor
18. If you could have any car, what would it be? a paid for black corvette.. at least I could afford for the up-keep
19. Have you ever met a celebrity and who was it? I'm related to a couple... grew up with some... and have met several
20. What is your dream job? helping people while learning about them
21. What kind of music do you like best? Celtic or hard rock.... not a mix of the two
22. What's the first thing you notice in a person? their energy, their eyes, their intention toward me
23. If you could help one person change their life, who would it be and why? it wouldn't be Brittney Spears.... I've always believed that poem about saving one fleeting robin... but all you can really do is give them a push and see if they will fly.
24. If you could change anything about yourself what would it be? my memory
25. What was the first "R" rated movie that you saw? the exorcist... I was 7 or 8 and thought it was stupid. My parents told me if I watched it I couldn't sleep with them. I rolled my eyes because I thought it was bad cinema and a waste of my time anyway.
26. What is the most memorable moment from your childhood? there are so many... the one that stands out is being on the news in Lubbock for making an 8 foot snow dog in my front yard when I was 7.
27. What is yout greatest strength? my mind and my emotion (passion)
28. What is your greatest weakness? my mind and my emotion .. kryptonite is green and so is my heart
29. What's your most embarrassing moment? getting so drunk that I peed the bed and had a romantic partner with me lol yeah... not so sexy
30. What name would you never give your child? anything that was a jr
31. What's your favorite horror movie? The Others
32. Where was your first kiss? my first real kiss was in Alaska in the woods
33. What's your favorite fantasy? being a super hero... somethings we never grow out of
34. If you found a suitcase full of $100 bills, what would you do? turn it in... they are traceable
35. If you could have any superpower, what would it be? super regeneration, x ray vision, super hearing and sight, telepathy, telekinesis, PK, levatation.
36. If you could go back to anytime in your life, when would it be? 1997
37. If you could write a book, what would be the title and basis? it would be Star Trekie it would be called, "What's Next."
38. If you could change anything about your life, what would it be? I'd find true love
39. When was the last time you helped someone? Explain. I fixed my grandmothers bed so she could lay down... my daughter and myself take care of her and my grandfather
40. What words from a love song do you remember? Don't Tell me love isn't true It's just something that we do Tell me everything I'm not But please don't tell me to stop But don't ever tell me to stop
41. What was the happiest day of your life? I'd like to think I haven't had it yet
42. Do you believe in angels? not the traditional religious version
43. What actor or actress would you most like to do a love scene with? heh... who knows? Maybe Anthony Michael Hall, he's the most beautiful man I've ever seen but he's too classy to think of like that. Johnny Depp for sure. ;P
44. You have one wish left, and it can't be more wishes, what is it? no more sickness in the world
45. If you had a million dollars what would you do with it? invest, put it in the bank to draw interest
46. What is your definition of success? finding, nurturing and keeping true love
47. Are you a Brady Bunch or a Partridge Family person? Explain. Brady Bunch... always thought they were cool. I was also an only child most of my life and always wanted a big family.
48. What's the most memorable historical event to you? when the wall came down in Berlin... lived in Germany as a child... meant a great deal to me personally
49. If you are to be reincarnated as an animal what would it be? a human... try to tell me thats not an animal and I'll show you different
50. What person do you admire the most and why? My grandmother for her spirit and love of family, my grandfather for having a big heart and my daughter for always being there for me as my little ray of sunshine when the world lets me down, love turns cold and my hopes and dreams are dashed on the rocks of darkness. They are my triad of love.
Without writing a bunch of dates or regurgitating a bunch of history to try to prove how smart I am because I can look shit up, I'm writing my reflective thoughts on the situation in Northern Ireland. Yes, the British troops are still there. It amazes me the number of people I encounter who think it all ended in the 80's or mid 90's. For those who were wondering, the 6 counties of Ulster, Northern Ireland are still occupied. That being said, I agree it does seem bizarre.
In this modern world of cell phones, space age technology and globalization, Ireland herself an active member of the EU, it seems impossible that part of the island is still occupied by an outside government. It's stranger still that the occupying government is also a member of the EU. That's enough to out-weird the guy who wrote that hillbilly song about being his own grandpa. Some things are just NOT ok. Yet, most of the Western world are trained like mindless dogs to ignore what is obvious and skip right over to the who is dating who on the celebrity circuit. Being a Western country… anything that happens in the West directly affects us.
My comments on this topic may seem hypocritical to some… coming from a nation where hundreds die in gang related violence daily when talking about a small island where world attention is drawn when any one person dies in an act of violence. Many critics will say fix the problems in your own back yard first. They are small minded people and don't realize the gravity certain events in the world have. The planet is your back yard in today's world. I think a place that when the public will stop to mourn even one fallen person with shock and outrage that they are a people who value human life, holding it in the highest regard and having the potential for actually achieving peace.
This may go off on a tangent and piss some people off… tough tiddely… write your own damn blog. I think all sides are absurd. So I'm just going to say what I think.
If you ask most people in the world what the problem in Northern Ireland is they will tell you "religion." That seems to be the accepted perception. I don't want to call anyone stupidly ignorant but I even had a professor in college (albeit the fine arts dpt) argue with me that the IRA were Protestant. Being Irish and a poli sci major I laughed to myself and let him remain ignorant. I figured he would live and die in the same place anyway. Likewise, if you ask an Irish person what the problem in NI is they will unanimously tell you that it is economics. We don't want to hear that! That doesn't have the heart pounding, gun smuggling, rival creating, rebellion spirited, ancestral tie making, tear in your beer for grand ol Eire that we love so much. Economy is boring. Come on ENTERTAIN THE ROMANS i mean... YANKS! The terms Catholic and Protestant in today's Ireland are synonymous with economic class – rich or poor.
Quite frankly, the short time I lived in Ireland I rarely if ever encountered anyone with any real issue over religion. I knew many Buddhist, Taoist, Wiccans, Druids, Agnostics, and a few Jedi. That was 10 yrs ago, before the EU. If Ireland proper has grown (built) with the rest of the world (`95 the Green Tiger was the fastest growing economy in the Western world… I know, I said no stats or figures) the assimilation of the North would be no stranger than that of W. Germany's reunification with mostly communist E. Germany. People fear change… even when it's the best thing that could ever happen.
Now I know many American Irish who want nothing more than to help their Irish brethren in their fight for freedom. The desire to reunite with their ancestry and show someone else how wonderful democratic freedom and revolutionary movement are the sweetest intoxications they could imagine. I know, I was one of them. I lived things no one would believe and others would write novels about. I am no stranger to the rebel soul. Where my experiences started to change my perception I'm not sure. I think it started the day I walked down Grafton St. on Election Day clad in green, wearing my bronze celtic arm bands, acres of flame red hair flowing behind me and I realized that while I won the respect of some, others, like small children ducked away in fear. Maybe it was the time a US Navy ship docked in Dublin on the 4 of July and started shooting fireworks. They thought the Irish people would acknowledge them and join in the celebration of freedom from the British. Instead the people protested and wanted them to leave because they thought their presence would cause unnecessary violence. Whatever it was that started the change in me and my view point of how things should be done, the resulting outcome is the same. I'm still secretly hoping that one day my Star Trek fantasy of living on a federated planet will be realized. But we are talking about governments so we have to speak in small words and take baby steps. What I think are baby steps may be enough to make some pee their pants but hey… that's life.
So what we have here are two groups of people that don't get along. They look alike, smell alike, eat the same crappy dishes, drink the same beer (don't argue brand names), worship the same god and then the British who have always had their snauz in anything that can't fart hard enough to get up their nose. The British say they don't want to be there but feel morally obligated having started the whole thing and that if they remove the fences and boarders the Northern Irish will kill themselves. What the fuck ever… go home… your days of Ruling the World like little Marvin the Martian are way over. You are no ones keeper… you're just a tea-sipping monarchy who had to import a bunch of Germans to sit on your throne because the 12 fingered mongoloid looking inbreeders ruling couldn't keep the people's inspiration going with tales of yesterday when you were a world power. Get over it… sissy. If nothing else Northern Ireland should become self ruled and join the EU as a separate nation (state for you Europeans.)
The Protestants say they don't want to be assimilated into a "Catholic" nation where they would lose their prestige, fear being the minority and would be forced to have their children influenced by a religion they don't believe in. You already live in nearly a third world country… the Brits you like so much can't stand you… you're kind of like the kid the cool kids are forced to hang out with because your parents work with theirs but no one likes you…. You need cultural influence. So it's not like you'd be losing that much economically and the EU would make you better than you were. No you are not already members-- you are hanging on the nanny petty coats of Britian who is. Do it on your own. Um… learn to sing and dance. Better yet, learn to rap.. wear bling and take over the economy… how hard is that? Get over yourselves.
The Catholics (yes I was raised one) spend too much time on the inside of a bottle to do anything other than bitch, argue, moan and fight each other. Hangovers hurt and so does losing the giant opportunities that have risen with the green tiger in your back yard that could have had great influence on moving any vote in any direction you wanted. You would rather whine and complain. The world is done feel sorry for you… go eat a euchrist and pray to the magic Jew that the EU will welcome you in with open arms. Jeezuz.
Religion is crap. Down deep everyone knows it. Sure there is something more than this life and you can find a few tid bits of mysticism in it but every religion on this planet was created by a human being and presented through their interpretation of their experiences and encounters with the unknown. They get people to believe they know what they are talking about through blind faith or seemingly similar experiences… when someone else has a different experience they want to fight over it. Who cares? How fucking stupid! No one can convince me there has ever been an actual war fought over religion. I have more faith in the human animal than that. You are not troglodyte unibrow sporting Neanderthal.
This is not our ancestors' world. Anyone who follows anything without understanding exactly what they are following is either insane or retarded. We are grown people who are we trying to kid? There is no reason to keep running in the same circles with no resolution. There really is no excuse for it. We have grown wings and the windows are wide open. This is our world now. We are in charge of how it changes. We make the rules. The old outgrown ones are no longer applicable. So lets stop fighting like retards already so that
awake
focused
inquisitive
anxious
The British say they don't want to be there but feel morally obligated having started the whole thing and that if they remove the fences and boarders the Northern Irish will kill themselves. What the fuck ever… go home… your days of Ruling the World like little Marvin the Martian are way over. You are no ones keeper… you're just a tea-sipping monarchy who had to import a bunch of Germans to sit on your throne because the 12 fingered mongoloid looking inbreeders ruling couldn't keep the people's inspiration going with tales of yesterday when you were a world power. Get over it… sissy. If nothing else Northern Ireland should become self ruled and join the EU as a separate nation (state for you Europeans.) 
say they don't want to be assimilated into a "Catholic" nation where they would lose their prestige, fear being the minority and would be forced to have their children influenced by a religion they don't believe in. You already live in nearly a third world country… the Brits you like so much can't stand you… you're kind of like the kid the cool kids are forced to hang out with because your parents work with theirs but no one likes you…. You need cultural influence. So it's not like you'd be losing that much economically and the EU would make you better than you were. No you are not already members-- you are hanging on the nanny petty coats of Britian who is. Do it on your own. Um… learn to sing and dance. Better yet, learn to rap.. wear bling and take over the economy… how hard is that? Get over yourselves.
spend too much time on the inside of a bottle to do anything other than bitch, argue, moan and fight each other. Hangovers hurt and so does losing the giant opportunities that have risen with the green tiger in your back yard that could have had great influence on moving any vote in any direction you wanted. You would rather whine and complain. The world is done feel sorry for you… go eat a euchrist and pray to the magic Jew that the EU will welcome you in with open arms. Jeezuz.