12:25 PM - .............
Current mood: blank
Category: Life

fuuuuuuuck. life sucks. I want to kiss you & scratch you & breathe you... lets swallow eachother and fuck time and space and idiots... lets forget for a moment their need and just be... fuck the faces that just need there's a million faces that just bleed... but we're going to sit and taste if even for just one day the sweet aroma of apathy where nothing gets in the way...

Currently listening : Jar of Flies By Alice in Chains Release date: 25 January, 1994

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2:45 AM - She`s my Shadow
Current mood: good
Category: Friends

Only a second it took, only a min to break the silence, yet it was a few long months to get to that second or inside that minute. Speaking with the same enthusiasm she swept dust over the gap that made it so visible and kept it seeming so relavant. Probably my thickness that made it so hard to get through yet I`d never admit it aloud. Square one? Looking around I think I`ve been here before. Good to see you again my friend, Glad to know your still you................M      

Currently listening : A Donny Hathaway Collection By Donny Hathaway Release date: 12 April, 1990

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1:30 PM - Sex the Stars and a big Fuck You
Current mood: quixotic
Category: Automotive

Sex the Stars and a big Fuck You

If the suns out and your moxy`s not in tact your probably not going to stand as tall as I do in the land of little people. My strides already been broken by the tawdry things but it`s not to be mistaken for a shift in reslove.

Turn around for just a sec! Just long enough for me to smack that grin off your face. Take a step forward! Just close enough for me to cut you with my tongue. Run, run away, I won't care, or you'll never know the difference.

You can hit me but I won't break, as far as you know anyway and  I'll change color like you did so you can't see me any longer and all that's left is before you and tomorrow.  

Currently listening : Manic Compression By Quicksand Release date: 28 February, 1995

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7:12 AM - All aboard!
Current mood: contemplative

Hopefully this new toy might provide some fun in an otherwise long hectic game of resturant.

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4:35 PM - Death and I are becoming fairly aquanted
Current mood: crushed

I`ts just a piece of my past like the crumbs from a cookie, yet with every crumb my cookie gets smaller and the circle gets tighter.We traveled through time together in a sense, as I`ve know him since we only had bikes and lofty dreams about conquering the world! Just like that, the world slipped through his fingers and the hourglass dropped it`s last grain of sand. He took a piece of me with him, a piece he earned by default just having known me so long and as his life ended my life begins again as if I dropped him off and drove on ahead!..............and yet my load doesnt feel any ligher..........M

RIP my good friend and brother (Shawn R. Piller)     

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12:59 PM - Death
Current mood: grateful
Category: Life

and with another day brings another death upon us....

Another ounce of perspective! Although I`d had many glimpses throughout it always seems like the first taste. It`s a time to recognize, look around, and be gratefull. It always makes me feel guilty, and yet I`m granted this new wisdom, a new insight I couldn`t see before this moment. And tomorrow will be different as I`ll stand tall with a little more appreciation and a little more tolerance for life at least unitl I forget again.

and with another day brings another death upon us

RIP.... Sam McCarty Murphy Jr

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3:15 AM - Life
Current mood: Aware
Category: Aware Dreams and the Supernatural

If you can suck the life out of them do it! It`s all a Carnival with balloon games, clowns, and unsafe thrill rides. Take it for all it`s worth and don`t turn around cause it will bite you like the dog that chased you as a kid. Run toward the light just as fast as you can. Jump from the height and don`t look down! It`s all going to be over sooner than you think......M

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12:55 PM - Cha Cha Cha
Current mood: mischievous
Category: Food and Restaurants

You know it`s funny how things can turn on a dime and people can literally vanish from day to day. I had some twists and turn in my road recently and it was difficult to steer through them for a bit and yet I see a clearer picture of what was in front of me. They say the meek shall inherit the earth, but I think it may be all the idiots just to spite the rest of us. It`s a cosmic joke or so it seems. It`s the friends or lack there of that always catches me off guard. All for one and one for all right? Bullshit it`s every man for himself. Hat`s off to all the morons walking around thinking that this it there show and there running it! Respect will always elude you. Save me a seat by the fire JR! Those puppy`s will do you no good down here.         

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1:36 PM - The world by the tail
Current mood: apathetic
Category: Blogging

OK It`s my birthday today. Why do I feel as if I wasnt to hide from everyone today holding up at home not answering the phone acting like the child I`m obviously not at this stage in the game.  It`s not an age thing I don`t care much about that! It`s not It`s not the attention I don`t like really! How do I feel today?? I`m not really sure exactly. Wish I could just dissappear tonight on a plane to somewhere else.......No explanation, not a sound just a blink and *proof*. What do I really want today? Who do I really want today? Where would I`d rather be? I think she knows but does it really matter? Maybe tomorrow it won`t .....it won`t be my birthday any longer!    

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8:42 AM - Substance in being
Current mood: aggravated
Category: Life

In the interest of maintaining your sanity you look for people you can believe in and truths in life you can embrace. Unfortunetly you can run alongside the people you choose to uphold that direction only to find that your agendas are not at all similar.Let your guard down low enough and someone will step across that line and use your trust and childlike wanting to believe to run there own race. It`s not always intetional or malicious but it`s a reality. Where emotions and feelings are concerned there are no rules. Unfortunaetly we try to apply own basic rules of morality and right and wrong but ultimately they don`t apply. People operate on there own interests and selflessness and consideration only hangs when it`s conveinent.

Why do we have to be reminded of this over and over? You`d think we`d learn from it..............I think we simply choose to ignore the obvvious hoping for some exception to that rule but there isn`t one. The jokes on us!  

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