STUDIO last day

done.

tired
grateful
to you all
and to all

half moon
clouds head for it
bunched, army

9:07 AM - 5 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

STUDIO more final vocals done

WALK ON WATER
has a drum groove that i did long ago
it was such a warm crunchy one
it laid it in twice, cut 1/4 off the second one and also offset it by 1/4 bar
the song was done in 2 days
since then two engineers have gone cuckoo trying to recreate it (it got half lost somehow)
today after the engineer expressed concern about the flanging in it
i rolled up my sleeves and grabbed a drum loop from the drummers track
and then re-built it from scratch, forgetting the old one
it worked and now i have the warm fuzzy cross-groove that i want

the engineer was hovering nearby wanting to get lots done today and tomorrrow
you lose all track of time when you're absorbed in a puzzle like that
now i understand a bit better when i say to a very smart, efficient engineer
what have you been doing for so long?
it's a portal to another dimension

then we both rolled up our sleeves

GRACE
thigh slapping wasn't working, so we squished them
until they almost sounded like marching with a limp (the whole army)
now they sound a bit spooky and make more sense
because it is at the end of the song where she sings
the world is calling us
we each must decide
saying come on come forward, my beautiful friend
release the super hero inside
and the effect is that of 'considering' - drumming fingers on table
or army of people making decisions
i resang part of the song, too. much better
but it is almost like i can't do it until i've got the rung below in existence for awhile
i can't seem to just leap up from the floor.
i inch my way, look around, make sure i'm not going to be attacked,
then creep forward a bit more.

THEN WE HEARD A SHOUT
IN MY DREAM
re-sang, done

WALK ON WATER
i have sung this so many times, but the right balance eludes me

at 1:30 i still wanted to sing
my voice felt open and muscularly precise and my heart was clear enough to picture everything i was singing. it felt true. that is all i want, but to get everything at the same time ...
the engineer couldn't go any further. he was completely present and on top of the vocals.
he said he is old. i said i would refuse to talk to him anymore if he was going to do that old-speak. so tomorrow, if i can sing, i can complete what i need to do.

over and out.

oh yes, what did tarzan say to jane upon entering their treehouse about supper time?
oh jane, not finch and chimps again!
i'll have to tell my little friends that one.

issa

6:48 AM - 4 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

STUDIO architecture of a river

everytime i resing a song it feels like the song has been refreshed
sometimes it is because i sang a line too squarely, phrasing awkward, too precious, too preachy
too falsely happy or sensual
or i can hear the patchy energy of a comp
(when you take bits from different vocal takes and sew them together.
they can be perfect technically but an artist's gut can feel the subtle shifts of energy)
and for hedonistic reasons, i don't want to be bothered each time i hear it
i guess that is part of knowing when you are ready to say done
when the 'nigglies' are reduced enough to be outweighed
by the desire or need to complete and get on
i haven't told the engineer, but i'll want a mic ready when we mix
in case i want to red0 anything then
right up to the last minute

LEARNING TO 'GROUND' CREATIVE ELECTROCITY
long ago i understood one day that more importantly than anything else
was the need to learn to 'ground' myself
more important than the many things i was discovering and exploring
i could hardly stay still when i was writing a song, it was excruciatingly painful
this was made easier by drinking or smoking cigarettes

yesterday's prickliness and need for speed and efficiency in the studio
or i would start barking in a voice far away from where i was
was in response to the same force, it is uncomfortable in the body
the body is the primary barometer, the tuning fork

NUMBING DOWN
my body has been numbed down for so long, now it is opening slowly, i am so glad
long ago i asked the universe that i not be so sensitive in my body
everything i put in my mouth affected me, and with the normal diet of the day
i felt sick a lot of time. i felt handicapped and i wanted to be part of the crowd
strong and able to rock on, party, you know
so it worked and i became addicted to many things and could out do many people
surprising many people, making me an anachronism, my facets contradictory

NUMBING UP
now i'm ready to be more sensitive in my body
so that i'm not ruled by cravings that pollute the tuning fork, so to speak
via my iron-clad stomach. my off switch rarely working like other peoples'.
it has served a purpose, i am grateful, but ready to change.
and STILL rock on, party, dude, etc.

FAT
years of kind, friendly fat cells that have been protecting me
from toxicity by being a holding tank
are starting to pull the suitcase down from the cupboard
the relief from the constant influx of acidity from coffee is palpable
the flood of life force from foods is creating twinges of recognition

TODAY I WILL continue down the list of 19 songs (two more were put aside)
singing, fine-tuning and pre-mixing so things will go quickly in the more expensive mixing studio
we have a lot of songs to cover in 10 days.

TODAY IS A glorious day in the northern desert
after a steady night wind
calm, light breeze, hills on other side of valley glowing with morning light
baby crows hidden in a tree, mewing beneath mother's calm caw
butterflies flitting, pellucid and non-umbrous in the peridottal sage.

6:19 PM - 4 Comments - 5 Kudos - Add Comment

STUDIO phoenix, crow, train

PHOENIX

*changed lyrics in the two bridges so they call up older and older
the music is doing the same, moving backwards to bagpipes and strident chanters

bus driver, grocer, minister, teacher,
pub owner, anvil maker, blacksmith, swordmaker, liverer

michael, marshall, kara, katiland, then back through gaelic names
llewellyn, caointiorn, tearlag, malamhin

*opened up the verse near end
by removing one of the groove loops
and adding piano and organ with fourths and seconds
then i could finally sing it properly, the way tim ray (piano) and i did it live
children, what do you need to feel safe in this world?

*resang ending of song
where catherine russell and i are both telling the children to keep going
to call up their ancestors for strength, that they are fiercely needed
i couldn't get it to work around catherine's parts - she'd done them to another vocal i'd done
finally, i think it works

WALK ON WATER
sang it. i was upset with myself and how long things were taking
and then when i sang it i couldn't really tell what i was doing
i think the verses might be too something ... i don't know.
i was so prickly by the end of the day i had to practically gulp in the night winds
and hold the railing. i'll listen tomorrow.

ii paced all day, doing dishes, cleaning counters, weeding, pacing,
i couldn't go in to the studio yet, so engineer worked alone.
i recognize this feeling from before a tour. energy starts to ramp up.

there are many signs around
of what?
i don't know, i just know they are signs.

TWO MORE DAYS
two more days to go, then that's it.
done until we mix in september.
a funny feeling, like a buzzing in the centre of my head

CROWS
the two baby crows made it all the way across the garden to the lilac bush on other side
close to where we were. they looked so vulnerable, flapping raggedly on the bending branches.
it is so mysterious watching all this. they made no sound. how strange they must have felt
after their first (?) flight. and they'd have to do it again to get home.

TRAINS
running both ways through the valley
whistles blowing long and loud and different each time
in the middle of the night, one sounds broken

but every time I hear that whistle blowing
every time I hear that old black crow
every time I hear that whistle blowing
I find myself a-shivering in my soul

THE ONE CRICKET
outside my window
he says soon, soon!

- - -

TODAY'S STUDIO PATRON: DP
Thank you so very much,
Issa

1:40 AM - 4 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

STUDIO today i bit

we are pre-mixing as we go along here at john's studio
this means we are doing a lot of cross-fades, balancing, etc.
which will save time when we are at the mixing studio

ENGINEERING LESSONS
when i noticed a track missing and then my usual panic of
'what else haven't i noticed, then?'
john suggested i sit down at the computer and go through the tracks myself
take control and empower myself.
whoever has the money has the power, his mother says
whoever sits at the computer has the power, her son says
remove the middleman and roll up your sleeves
he was very quiet and kind but also very firm that this was the next step for me
and i should start now
have tried to learn it in the past, but get stuck and subsequently daunted

so i asked john why he was still in the room
and he happily went off to play his pedal steel
i went through songs, checking tracks, playing with equalizers, reverbs
the most fun was having the opportunity to reduce the arrangement to the bare minimum
and feel the magic come and go with the silence
i learned much from that and thank you, john, for helping me take the next step

5 more songs closed and ready for mixing

BLACK WIDOW
i went over to check on the spider
her sac was there, but a bit dehydrated
and i didn't see her
i didn't have a good feeling
and my dreams have been about grave consequences for slight carelessnesses

god be in my eyes and ears and heart
that i may not overide the natural laws with my lesser understanding

SING
i want to sing most of the songs again, and will

- - -

TODAY'S STUDIO PATRON: DO
Thank you so very much.
Issa
Patron days remaining: 1, 21 more left to do

12:25 AM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

STUDIO one, black widow, full moon

back in the northern desert
last bastion of days before mixing in september

i am now checking past incarnations of songs
including from the day i first wrote it
comb through to make sure things haven't gotten lost
crossing each juncture, changing studios, adding real instruments

ONE has always been tricky and listening to it today
i decided to dig in again
i am sure some flies on the wall have fallen to their death in boredom
but it is worth it to me and this is the one place in my life where i can go to the nth degree if i want.
because no one else knows what i'm doing. i like this place i have carved out for myself.

when i finally got inside the song structure and knew how to fix it,
the computer made a terrible sound and crashed.
this is not to say i have super-powers, i would say we all do at times
but that this is an example of one electromagnetic field influencing another
that our brain power is magnified when we 'get' something.

BLACK WIDOW SPIDER
living under tap cover in back yard
yesterday leslie saw she has a sac full of babies
i thought we should move her to a place away from people
so there weren't hundreds of them having hundreds of babies
we rigged up a spidermobile and took her to a field and found a culvert
pulling plants over her for protection and moisture
after we put her down near her sac we saw her touch it with her leg
i hope this is a good thing, not an interference that will cause death.

HONEYSUCKLE
after rain, smelled so sweet

RAINBOW
FULL MOON

i am very happy to be here, back, working, almost done, with dear friends, learning from how they relate and live life

- - -

TODAY'S STUDIO PATRON: BS
Thank you so very much
Issa

11:52 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

STUDIO tap tap brush brush

today we laid in the rest of the clapping, etc.
seeing where things work
preparing to take a week off
i was back and forth between the studio and the mural
neither complete
but both in the same stages:
sketched out, balanced
finishing small details, words, fingers
quite a different energy than pulling music or paintings out of smoke.

chicago tomorrow
trying to get this body thing right
all very interesting

over and out, fellows

- - -

TODAY'S STUDIO PATRONS:
KB, VC, KC, SC

6:29 AM - 1 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

STUDIO silly fools at the palace

when silly meant holy, oh so long ago
and so soon coming

however, goofy may not mean the same thing
we had so much fun doing ...

QUEEN
i had chickened out and hadn't added the little character voices i'd imagined
but today i let it be, not caring how it fit on a cd
or whether it would jar if people weren't expecting it

the song is now the pageant it wanted to be
i didn't put any brakes on the characters voices this time
the song was much relieved but I ...
well, it's pretty muppetesque within the castle
Leslie Alexander lead the charge with the voices
drawing character after character
and drawing them from me, too
i also replaced the word 'sexual' with a whistle
so that children can really make the song their own
(something i hadn't realized would be ruled out by some of the lyrics)
closed

there will be no (whistle) frustration
people who are out of balance
will be attended to by temple workers
who will teach them how to pull it up their spine
untl they spout
(spout what?)
spout poetry
(won't that be a lot of poetry?)

- - -

TODAY'S STUDIO PATRON: SMS
Thank you so very much,
issa

2:29 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

STUDIO songs are like books

as i draw to a close
i am sorry to close
a book
that has hummed
tucked under my arm
both of us
looking this way and that
companionable, no fuss
here we go

ANYTIME, MARRY ME, YOU HAD A GOOD THING
laid in rhythms from drum days
re-sang all
closed

EDEN
i sang it again and finally found the right counterpoint
one last look in the mirror
closed

can't get this body thing right
why can't i thrive on an apple and a handful of seeds?'

- - -
TODAY'S STUDIO PATRON: LM
Thank you so very much,
Issa

6:50 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

STUDIO ouch that hurts

the studio floor was sound proofed and wouldn't stomp properly
so we had to mimic a resonant wood floor with upside down plastic bins
we did it all as one would sitting in an audience
the stomping, thigh slapping keeping time done all together
there was no way i was going to do anything separately
after the reaction to the 'studio' methods the day before
just as well, time to get things wrapped up with this music

john had to engineer so it ended up just being niko friesen and i
his time was much better than mine so i followed him
there were certain poly rhythms i wanted so there he followed me
the best was when we just forgot everything and were thrilled by the music
i feel like i inch my way towards really knowing how to do things
but hopefully we remember past observations and implement some here and there, building

did half the songs, our blood flowing through our veins
like white-water, the raft being our hands and feet bouncing along
like little people
i had to be careful not to watch them too much
or everything become bizarre.

it took about 3 run throughs to organize the parts
and who did what, (the counter rhythms against each other so much fun
i hope people who hear the music will get as much enjoyment, perhaps doing them, too
some parts are as sing-song as melodies)
then nailed them
i made the engineer delete most things as we went along
so there would be no sorting

quote from engineer:
'would you mind doing that again, perhaps with a focus on rythym'

huh?

- - -

TODAY'S STUDIO PATRON: SN
Thank you so very much, all is good
Issa

4:32 PM - 3 Comments - 5 Kudos - Add Comment

STUDIO dumb drums driving me nuts phew it's over

drummer arrived from vancouver
my goal is to replace the drum loops
with time-keeping without any chrome
what people would do just listening
that means knee slapping, stomping and clapping
i have done it in a few songs, just me
and now it is for me, niko and johnny to do it

this is one of the last pieces of work to do.

however,
today they set up drums for a 'few' things that we weren't sure
would work with just natural time-keeping

and the darn things took over
took over space
took over head-space
took over sound-space

so i took off
i couldn't bear the sound of 'getting a sound'
boom chuck, repetition
so old-fashioned, so ... i can't find the words ...
so ... the loud sound, the patterns
it doesn't compute in my head
does that make sense
and utterly tiring

i started groaning upstairs
no matter what i did
the second any of the boom chuck drifted into range
moaning, cursing, invoking high irritation
wondering why, with the desire to get rid of drums int he first place,
i was being tortured at my own behest

i couldn't even go into the studio while the engineer had him replace a few parts
and because i wasn't there, they did more so i had more options

when i had to communicate to them it was a bit horrifying
meaning to see if they wanted tea and shouting instead
'ARE YOU DONE YET!!!!'
and made them tear down the drums before i would give them tea.

oh my god...
wondering, should i have just have said no the minute i reacted so badly
even though it was considered a more 'efficient' way to get things done?
I think this will guide a future decision when i get that feeling again.

anyways.
we were still all content, happy to be working together.
tomorrow we'll do what I really wanted to do.

- - -

TODAY'S STUDIO PATRON: BM
thank you, (it was still a good day, it had to be done)
Issa

11:31 PM - 3 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

ALRIGHT mulling, decision made

i have been turning something over and over
would i write a 'public journal' differently
were i going to die soon
yes

how would it be different?
less cryptic
less censoring
(ie. i don't like to say i have trouble with depression
in case it depresses others. I would prefer to make people feel better not worse)
however, that is not feeling right anymore
more observation, less speculation
i'm not sure.

so, i am ramping up
equal and opposite
to the helplessness i feel
about what is going on
to at least live the way i would want for others.
to take care of my own backyard
to finish hoeing the row even as the sirens siren
to live closer to the quick, the quick being God.

this is a warning so you can make an educated decision
about following my hieroglyphed footprints
you may think less of me and then get less out of the music.
i hope not.
this decision is true.

11:37 PM - 30 Comments - 38 Kudos - Add Comment

STUDIO Geranium, Mama, Send, cats, dogs, hives

GERANIUM
done

MAMA HEREBY
done

SEND ME SOMEONE TO LOVE
done

LIVING STATUE
DARK TENT
TAKE ME TO MY TENT
may leave these three for the third CD

- - -

COLOURS, DOG
as i walked into the studio i felt colours swirling around my legs
like my dog used to after he died
though his were like a bouncing puppy jumping up on me as i walked

SLEEP, CAT
took the elder cat to vet
bye, sweet thing
no more suffering

later, in line at grocery store
felt sexual energy
i knew he'd separated from his body then
surprised me to feel it that way
though it makes sense in a way, primal energy

HIVES
stir-fry in cowboy town
walking back through magnificent desert scenery
through man-created obliviousness-to-beauty-of-surroundings
stop.
you go ahead
why?
i'm having an allergic reaction
by the time i reached ranch
full-blown, couldn't have sung if i'd wanted to

LAY PUFFY WITH FLUFFY
sleeping with front and back paws around my arm
how sweet
she awoke with yowl and sank it's teeth and claws into me
leave early tomorrow

STUDIO WORK NEXT WEEK
drums, knees, fine-tune any vocals, then start mixing

- - -

TODAY'S STUDIO PATRONS: JC and RMcK
Thank you so very much.

-four paid patron days left

2:05 PM - 0 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

STUDIO Shout, Tents two, Cats three

SHOUT
done
it seemed to work best if i held down the fort for the first bit
then people start joining in on telling the story
i had forgotten about the guitar solo i did that was just temporary
john reminded me that the sound was very dated, so it is,
which reminded me to think about whether it feels right to have it
i'd gotten used to it and forgotten
so we'll live without it until further notice
these are all the p's and q's of creating something
and the end taper of the candle

DARK TENT
something is wrong with the sustain sound which is the backbone of the song
i changed it from something that sounded too synth-y
but now it is too organ-y and grates
the singer has refused to come into the booth
this studio is less geared for samples, textures, rythms so... i am not sure what to do
sounds are SO important, right from the get-go.

the right one opens many doors, the wrong one a swinging 'closed'

TAKE ME TO MY TENT
now i'm down to five songs and three don't have final words
including this song
but i sang it roughly tonight
and will shorten it tomorrow
the string players and oboeist did beautiful work on it

PLANNING
tomorrow is the last day for 2 weeks
i will try to finish singing all but one song
when we start again, drums, vocals (any re-doing or fixing)
then mix
all these periods away from the songs
seem to bring greater clarity

THREE CATS
the three cats in this house are so interesting to watch
they hang out of john and leslie's arms like rag dolls
with me they aren't so trusting, nor i with them
they are all 'found' cats in the last 9 months
when my friends moved into this ranchhouse
and are they ever lucky.
who? all of them, people and cats (and me)

one is old, deaf and almost blind
he had another fit today
he makes a nice little chirp when i pat him
we watch 'deadwood' together in the big chair
and the cussing is not a problem for either of us

i am glad of change coming up

- - -

TODAY'S STUDIO PATRON: SP
Thank you so very much,
Issa
(five paid studio days left)

11:46 PM - 2 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

STUDIO First There Was A Shell

today is the day
i finally dove into this song
from New York I have many voices collected here and there
to weave together into telling the story

most times i just had the person echo my line
so when i put them all up at the same time
it was hilarious, intense and sometimes just right

then the work began
sorting
taking away too much, too little
letting go of a few ideas
(having the voice change mid-sentence or mid-word)
(starting song with a child)
a lot of silence while the engineer waits for me
but it takes a while for my body to respond sometimes

some voices more muted, some more reedy
so interesting to see what words work best with what spirits
elizabeth is 'terrible' in the bodicean sense of the word
in her verse about the phoenix. going for broke.
the one we run to and write to and hover over in her strangled flights
and here she is leading the charge

after setting up the parts where i wanted them
I threw myself into the soup, singing along
and that helped me see more


then we heard a cry
a phoenix lifted up
so terrible to see
so terrible to hear
the sound of music breaking

tomorrow, with fresh ears.

- - -

TODAY'S STUDIO PATRON: HB
Thank you so very much.
Issa
(five patrons days remaining)

11:58 PM - 2 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment