Today officially commemorates my 29th year of life and I cannot ask for a better gift than you, my family and friends. I thank you and God for drawing your paths across mine.
You have each touched my life with your words and actions. I am grateful to have beautiful people like you to inspire me daily.
My gift back to you is the Love and Light that sustains and pushes me to move forward toward my dreams.
Forever grateful, .J.
Currently
listening
:
The Moon & Antarctica
By
Modest Mouse
Release date: 09 March, 2004
they say it oozes naturally from the beach
Current mood: thirsty
As I washed the salt from my body, I reminisced about my first day at the beach in a year. I actually went swimming in the ocean today. That happens to be HUGE for me, considering I have a slight fear of swimming in open waters. On the first day that felt like summer had finally arrived in Santa Barbara, I drenched my dreadies in the murky sea water. I felt so free to frollick that I forgot to stop and ponder the chemical make-up of what it was I must have immersed myself in. But after my shower the strange odor has subsided.
Earlier, I could've swore I sensed a faint deisel aroma following my exhale. Is that what I was frolicking in around 6pm this evening? I really hope not. And then. As I bent over to wash my feet, I noticed a black sticky mess hiding between two of my middle toes.
It's kind of like blood. Or at least that's what I've gathered. You know. Hard to wash off. Well. Five scrub cycles later - and I do mean scrub, with fingernail scraping away at the goo from the soft tender skin between my toes - and NOW my toes actually stick together. Prior to washing I didn't even notice the black mess.
Hmmm. So I guess that distant smell of deisel wasn't so fucking distant. Perhaps next time I'll find myself backstroking throught the tar pits in La Brea.
Currently
listening
:
Spelled in Bones
By
Fruit Bats
Release date: 26 July, 2005
While I was outside smoking, taking a break from transcibing an interview about the Vegetarian Festival in Thailand, I watched a young couple walking down a dark street after picking up dinner at a nearby taquerria. Over the sound of cars going by on the freeway, I heard the couple's kisses echo off the buildings. It was the sweetest sound I've heard all day.
fUk hUmanity
Current mood: uncomfortable in my skin
I just witnessed a mama duck and her babies crossing the "slow" lane on the 101N in Ventura, California. I saw one truck dodge them. As I passed, I looked in my rearview mirror and watched another vehicle dodge the ducklings. I kept my eyes on my rearview mirror and soon realized that a whole trail of vehicles was going to come up on the ducks and either 1) cause an accident (most unlikely) or 2) kill the poor, unassuming duck and her babies as they tried to cross the highway. My eyes began to tear, and before I knew it I was crying.
Now, most people might think "Well the ducks shouldn't be trying to cross the highway. It's their fault they were killed." I, on the other hand, couldn't help but think that the human race needs to die. All of us, we don't deserve to be living on this planet. We destroy everything that crosses our path. And if we don't destroy it, then we manipulate it to our own selfish needs. I find this absolutely disgusting and I'm ashamed that I belong to this species.
Currently
listening
:
The Bends
By
Radiohead
Release date: 04 April, 1995
Life changes come up on you as if you're supposed to be expecting them. You know they're coming. You've almost felt this all somewhere before. However, the world seems very strange and new to you.
Nothing can compare to the utter exhilaration of life altering events over a short period of time.
In a matter of ONE week, my entire perspective on life has moved from being so cynical to the point of complacency, suddenly to being able to actually see and FEEL the beauty of the world again.
I am reconfirming, exploring, questioning, grooving, moving onward. I feel like a young child who has yet to understand the meaning of "growing up".
It started with a certain conversation with a certain someone...... After this conversation, I began pulling everything I've been reading and thinking over the past few months into focused view. There are many people I must thank for this, but the one person that came into my life on that day deserves a round of applause, an endless hug, and all the LIGHT I can give.
(The other beautiful souls who have contributed to my current state of awareness will soon receive my thanks - for that is one of my recently confirmed missions; to make sure I recognize and share my appreciation with those who have touched my soul).
refreshed
thirsty
working
indescribable
