Wheel barrel, Newnan, Ga, and The Black Angles
Category: Music
So last Tuesday was a pretty eventful evening for me. I made a trip down to Newnan Georgia and attempted to do a quick show so I could leave in time to catch The Black Angles at The Earl in East Atlanta. Newnan is about 40 miles south of my house and though I wasn't exactly stoked on driving down to do a show there. I needed to hear myself talk and the money was certainly a warm welcome to my pocket. The show was at this place place called Baja's. Baja's is an after work hot spot where people can safely go to drink, chain smoke, play volleyball, and eventually hump each other. Better a controlled environment though, than one of the many surrounding trailer parks that offer no security.
Upon my arrival, I was amused to see that someone had gone through the trouble to bring a wheel barrel to the club in their pickup truck. As if to say, I'm getting laid tonight no matter what... If I have to wheel barrel the biggest girl in the club out to my truck, something is going down tonight. Now that's determination people. The will to procreate is really amazing. Even under the worst financial constraints, poor people will always find a way to dig their hole deeper by accidentally reproducing.
To some of you, I'm sure I sound like an elitist. You have to understand, I grew up around these people and sorry, I still find these things a little irritating. I must say though, as harsh and dark as my comedy can be, they were an exceptionally cool audience and seemed to understand where I was coming from. Much more hip than I gave them credit for. Aside from the fact the place looked like a train wreck waiting to happen when we arrived. They seemed to really appreciated the fact that the opening comics and I were there performing. Of course the set up was bad, as most these type of one nighter shows are. A huge 200 person room with a mere 25 people sitting completely spread out and about 20 more people at the bar 40 feet away hanging all over each other making a bunch of noise but to my surprise they all shut up and got into it.
I needed to end the set at 10pm to allow myself time to get to The Black Angles show. I ended up getting there about 15 minute after they went on so I wasn't too upset cause the rest of the show was great. If you haven't listen to them, check them out. May or may not be your sound but none the less still very good. As I was watching the show naturally the biggest head in the room walk in front of me. I was really irritated that this happened to me cause it was balls to the wall ass packed and nowhere else for me to stand but then the realization hit me that I saw someone with a bigger head than mine and I wasn't so upset anymore. I'm very self conscious about my big ass head. My head is like a a 10 year old external hard drive. It's big, slow, and has very little memory. I still don't understand how I can have a head this damn big and know so little. I can watch a film in the theater, then leave and forget what the hell I just watched. Very hard for me to focus on one thing at a time but that's a whole new blog.
During the show I made an observation. People always look great under rock star lighting. No matter how ugly you are in sunlight. Not that anyone in the band is unattractive but I thought MAN, what if you had rock star lighting on you everywhere you went? That would be so awesome! Your in the grocery store check out, everyones like OMG! HE IS SO HOT... I never knew buying toilet paper could be so sexy! As soon as you finish checking out you turn to your new grocery store audience, wave, blow some kisses and start throwing toilet paper out to the crowd. Security has to walk you to your civic. Crazy.... Just food for thought. Anywho, that's that.
Come see me tonight and Sat @ The Funny Farm. I'm not headlining this weekend but I'll still be doing 25 - 30 so still worth it. Hope I see you there. Fri 8 and 10:30 shows Sat 8 and 10:30 shows www.funnyfarmcomedyclub.com/atlanta
Currently
listening
:
The Black Angels
By
The Black Angels
Release date: 2005-10-18
Thank you for coming to my blog that is consistently about nothing. By reading this, you're taking interest in my existence and I greatly appreciate it. This tells me you are a good person and deserve to live a long and wonderful life. How in the world anyone could live with out my blog of nothing is totally beyond me, but to each their own. Or, as my granny likes to say, "shake your head and see if it rattles." Which has nothing to do with the previous sentence but just so happens to be one of my favorite granny sayings. Granny Sayings is the title of a book I would like to write some day and sell for $19.95 on late night television. Some of these sayings are: Tighter than dicks hat band, For goodness sakes, That's like the pot calling the kettle black, Said the man after he kissed the cow, That went over like a lead balloon, etc. If Don Lapre's "Tiny One Bedroom Apartment" infomercial was such a success. I can only imagine how well "Granny Sayings" could do. Wow, it's like I'm trying to sellyou a book I haven't even wrote yet. Down boy, down.
Alrighty then, on to business. The whole reason I posted this damn blog to begin with was to showcase an old annoying phone call I added pictures to. So check it out below and please pass it around if you like it. If you don't, then by all means do something better with your time. Also I'm at the Funny Farm in Roswell Ga. this weekend. July 11th and 12th tickets and directions @ www.funnyfarmcomedyclub.com/atlanta/ You won't see me on the website because I'm not headlining this weekend. I'll be featuring but you can still see me for 25 to 30 minutes and I've heard Mary Mack, the girl that's headlining, is pretty funny.
Howdy good people of myspace. The reason for this special blog is to inform you that I'll be at the Cave in Kennesaw, Ga. Wednesday June 25th. This should be a barn burner people, but by God if it's not, we'll just have to burn a barn somewhere else. Now I know some of you may a fear of caves but please don't let this stop you. After all, this particular cave is jam packed with wine and middle aged suburbanites. Well, at least when there's a cover band Friday nights playing songs you've heard over and over again your entire life. My show however, could just be slightly packed or maybe not packed at all. It could just be the owners and the bar staff staring at me from across the dark cave while I'm on stage wishing something would happen to distract attention from myself. Like a bear would wake up from his cave nap all angry and start destroying shit cause some Russian guy tried to start a business in his once quited and peaceful cave and then I'd have to start singing Sweet Home Alabama to the bear to calm him down. At that point, suburbanites from the area would hear the sweet sound of that familiar song and go apeshit crazy as they often do dispite the fact their not even from Alabama. Who knows? After hearing someone karaoke LynyrdSkynyrd (pronounced /?l?n?d'sk?n?d/,Leh-Nerd Skin-Nerd) Maybe, just maybe, they will start to rethink their evening activities. Instead of staying at home and watching FOX's, So You Think You Can Dance, they could be drawn to visit their local cave and listen to some of the amazing material I have prepared over the last 6.5 years. Either way, I'll be there.
Wed - June 25th Free beer tasting at 7pm Show time is 8pm to 9:30pm
Donkey balls & my new favorite band this week, today, this hour.
I said (Donkey Balls) on the radio in Baton Rouge this morning and got in little trouble. But it was funny, cause after I said it the DJ was like, "Oh yeah, I like that band". I was very confused by his comment because it was early and I wasn’t awake yet. I had no idea he was trying to cover for my mistake so I just stared at him all weird and said that they weren’t a band. I was specifically talking about a donkey’s balls which made it even worse. I’m just not a morning person.
Lewis Black will be on for the full hour with Larry talking about his new book, new TV show and taking viewer calls... For those of you who don’t know about Lewis already, he is an amazing comic and an all around great guy. If you get a chance, check him out.
My mustache is doing fine, thank you. Here is the intro I made to my dvd I had available in the near future last week. Also, for those who can't seem to get enough of me. I will be Headlining in Birmingham, AL. @ Bottletree with very funny Michael McCall, Joe Raines and Elise Crocker AKA Elsie Cocker. The show is Friday Jan 18th 10pm. My mom said she was coming too which is great cause I haven't hung out with her since she died. If anyone knows how to get a monkey in the state of Georgia (legally) please share that info with me over a cheeto sometime. I don't have time for all these monkey permits they keep telling me about. I have a custom made Evil Knievel outfit ready for a little monkey I plan to name (Real Hoe) after a Vietnamese girl I once dated. I miss her dearly. Partly because I haven't seen her in a while, but mostly because her panties came with chop sticks. I've never met a girl before whos panties came with chop sticks. I can't write anymore. I'm too upset.
Well, what can I say? I just can't seem to get away from the South. After one bad vehical purchase and few prospects for upcoming comedy work. It seems as though I'm stuck in the South for a while. My NYC plans are being put on hold until I get my van fixed and then hopefuly sold. I must admit there are quite a few things I enjoy about the south like buscuits, rednecks, and sweet tea. Which we all know, are a great sources for entertainment as well as diabeties. Despite itching to get back to NYC, I will in the mean time, do my best to tape more often and share the experience.
