When confronted by disapproving adults on the subject of my smoking habit, I've always sworn to them (and to myself) that I would indeed quit before my 25th birthday. Over the years, this reaction has dwindled from a stalwart oath to a simple shrug and "yeah, well...". Maybe it was because I started to care less and less, or maybe it was because I could feel myself barreling towards my 25th birthday with all of the grace and subtlety of a freight train. Nonetheless, and no matter how hard I've tried to forget, 25 has always been my quittin' time. I was given a brutal reminder of this last week when I was bitch slapped with the cold of the century. It's been 10 days, I still sound like Doc Holiday, and if I had a nickel for every time some well-meaning friend has informed me that this whole thing would probably be over by now if I would just quit smoking, I could probably buy a carton of cigarettes. I've been in deliberations with myself trying to reach a compromise, but I'm not fooling anyone. I'm realizing there really is no compromise. I've always been an all or nothing person, and I'm sure it would be much more difficult to try and change an element of my character than to just fucking quit smoking like a normal goddamn human being. Shit.
On that note, I leave you with the wise words of Tex Ritter-
Now I'm a fella with a heart of gold - With the ways of a gentleman I've been told A kind of a guy that wouldn't even harm a flea But if me and a certain character met - The guy that invented the cigarette I'd murder that son of a gun in the first degree
It ain't that I don't smoke myself - And I don't reckon they'll hinder your health I've smoked them all my life and I ain't dead yet But nicotine slaves are all the same - At a pettin' party or a poker game Everythin's gotta stop while you have that cigarette
Smoke smoke smoke that cigarette puff puff puff and if you smoke yourself to death Tell St Peter at the Golden Gate that you hate to make him wait But you just gotta have another cigarette.
Currently
listening
:
Vols. 1 & 2
By
Soft Machine
Release date: 27 December, 2004
I give you money and send you into the grocery store to pick up 5 items. You can only pick one thing from the following departments.. what is it? 1. Produce: scotch 2. Bakery: israeli/palestinian conflict muffins 3. Meat: side o' beef 4. Frozen: vodka 5. Dry goods: beans
Let's say we're heading out for a weekend getaway. You're only allowed to bring 3 articles of clothing with you. So, what's in your bag? 1. chones 2. hat 3. ryan gosling
If I was to listen in on one of your conversations throughout the day, what 5 phrases or words would I be most likely to hear? 1. walt 2. stan 3. dang 4. stan 5. walt
So, what 3 things do you find yourself doing every single day, and if you didn't get to do, you'd probably be in a pretty irritable/bad mood? 1. eat 2. TCB corporate style 3. have some juice
What are 3 things that you have in your room that have been with you for the longest amount of time? 1. baggage 2. the weight of the world 3. extra shoulder chips
If you were only allowed to listen to 5 of your CDs for the rest of your life, never adding anything else, which 5 could you listen to & be content with? 1. some jonathan richman 2. an animal collective/panda bear mix 3. bob wills and the texas playboys for the last time 4. sophie's 90's dance mix (from the back to the middle and around again) 5. some badfinger or ee el oh. can't decide.
You just scored a whole afternoon to yourself. We're talking a 3 hour block with nobody around. What 5 activities might we find you doing? 1. dance party USA 2. manic texting 3. make over 4. body hair management 5. crying
We're going to the zoo. But, it looks like it could start storming, so it'll have to be a quick visit. What 3 exhibits do we have to get to? 1. we don't have to go in. 2. i just want to stand by the exit and enter all the fat people in the wet tshirt contest i'd have in my head. 3. heh.
You just scored tickets to the taping of any show of your choice. You can pick between 5, so what are you deciding between? 1. gossip girl 2. gossip girl 3. gossip girl 4. gossip girl 5. gossip girl
You're hungry for ice cream. I'll give you a triple dipper ice cream cone. What 3 flavors can I pile on for ya? 1. chocolate malted crunch 2. cake batter 3. bacon
I've decided to place an ad on your behalf on match.com. Tell me four things that would describe the sort of person you'd NEVER date. 1. ill fitting trousers wearer 2. bro music listener 3. mama's boy 4. mama didn't love me boy
Somebody stole your purse/wallet…in order to get it back, you have to name 5 things you know are inside to claim it. So, what's in there? 1. trash 2. $1 3. tobacco flakes 4. birds 5. stan
You are at a job fair, and asked what areas you are interested in pursuing a career in. Let's pretend you have every talent and ability to be whatever you wanted, so what 4 careers would be fun for you? 1. cher 2. pocahontas 3. migrant worker 4. america's next top model
Name three things you're embarassed for loving. 1. two and a half men. 2. the dixie chicks 3. hipster beanies
If you could go back and talk to the old you, when you were younger and inform yourself of 6 things that you should or should not do what would it be? 1. don't do that. 2. don't do that. 3. do that. 4. go there. 5. do him. 6. not him.
I start school on April 2nd and I am brimming with nervous excitement.
It has taken me almost 6 years of piddling around at community college to finally grab my passions by the balls, claim them, and commit to making them a reality. I'm so sick of being an idea person with no follow through. You should hear the internal dialog I have with myself on an almost daily basis. I sound like a distraught mother battling her delinquent, angsty teenager, and I play both roles. Just the prospect of learning the skills I need to materialize my ideas makes me feel like one of those tin tops that you push down on and they spin and spin and rattle around until they fall off the table. Only I'm not going to fall off the table this time.
If you need to get in touch with me over the next month, I can be found on my roof with my coffee cup, moleskine, and scrabble game. Visitors welcome.
In the beginning there was nothing, but it was kind of fun watching nothing grow.
You came walkin' into my life Carryin' your own dreams. You could've been Yeah, you could've been good. Then why were you so goddamn mean? But till you I never had any fun. But I'm sure glad I never, Ain't you glad I never? Be glad I never owned a gun.
DISCLAIMER: There are probably only three (maybe four) people who will find this blog interesting and hopefully entertaining. I'm sure you already know who you are.
WHOODLE! It's a wheaten terrier/standard poodle mix. Remember those shaggy, 4-legged string puppets? That's what these remind me of.
!!!
A puppy!
Or this kind. It's a Greater Swiss Mountain Dog (how noble!)
Another puppy!
SOME TIDBITS ABOUT THE BREED:
The Greater Swiss Mountain Dog is a large, strong, muscular, draft dog. The body is slightly longer than it is tall. The front legs are straight and strong with rounded, compact feet. The chest is broad and deep, and the breastbone extends slightly ahead of the legs. The head is large with a broad, flat skull and slight stop. The color of the eyes may vary from hazel to chestnut. Their expression is attentive and intelligent. The muzzle is blunt, and the nose and lips are black. The pendant, medium-sized ears are triangular. The long tail reaches to the hocks. GSMD has a beautiful tri-color double coat (black with rich rust and white markings). The outer coat is no longer than 2 inches (5cm.), and lined with a dense undercoat. Rust markings include a spot over each eye, rust on the cheeks, and on either side of the chest.
The Greater Swiss Mountain Dog is steady, watchful and protective, but not aggressive. Willing and loves to please, they are excellent with children. Loyal and adoring they are generally good with other pets and are not generally dog aggressive. Territorial, the Swissy (the Swissy!!) should be introduced to newcomers, but will quickly warm up to those the family accepts. An excellent, courageous, alert watchdog who will bark at strange noises and intruders. He needs to be a part of the family and prefers to be with his people all the time. The GSMD gets along well with family pets, but may have to be taught not to chase. They are slow to mature, both physically and mentally. "Puppyhood" may last 2-3 years.
For those of you who don't know, my dad is the assistant director of Wildwood School in Santa Monica. You know, private, progressive, expensive. If I could, I'd demand a do-over for my own high school "education". Anyway, in order to give these children of the rich and famous a little perspective, the school has started taking them on these insanely long trips to remote places. This year, like last, my dad is chaperoning their trip to Vietnam where they will work at a school for disabled children. Most of the disabilities that these kids suffer from are because of Agent Orange. (Aren't we a bunch of sweethearts?) In addition to blindness, deafness, and mental retardation, more often than not Vietnamese children are born with holes in their hearts. An affliction that is easily, but expensively, fixed with surgery. Since those crazy commies are keeping the poor, poor, not many families can afford the procedure. Hence the connection with the Richie Riches. It's a really great thing and I'm painfully jealous that I can't join them.
Now for the point of this blog: My dad is going to NAM. My passive, not in the greatest shape, 55 year old, book-smart not street-smart dad is fucking going to NAM. Granted he went last year and he came back in one piece, but only after spending a week of their month long trip in his hotel bed sicker than he's ever been. AND without my mother to take care of him! OH MY GOD! MY MOM! Not only is my dad going to be in NAM (ok I'll stop) for weeks, but my sweet mother is going to be home alone with no one to cook for and nothing but the pitter patter of little dachshund feet to keep her company! Just the thought of her eating by herself and having to take the trash cans out on Sunday nights shatters my heart into pieces!! Ok, I'm going to take the trash out for her. And probably eat multiple dinners with her, but still. I don't like the idea of my mama being alone in that drafty old house. (Those of you who know my parents also know that my mom is probably better equipped to handle a month of Vietnam than my dad is and so these fears of her being alone in Pasadena are completely unfounded. But if you know my parents, then you also know me, so shush.) So tonight at midnight my daddy, complete with bug repellant, plenty of bottled water, sunscreen, and god knows how many vaccinations, will be boarding a plane at LAX en route to NAM (ha). I really hope he brings back some awesome knickknacks for me.
i'm too restless to sleep so i decided to do some very boring things. i ate some saltines, drank some chamomile tea, read part of jane magazine. nothing. then i thought myspace could cure my insomnia. instead, i am being bombarded by horrific previews for "The Hills Have Eyes." not exactly lullaby material. i'm a little scared of what's on tv right now, but i'm running out of options.
determined
drunk
nerdy
confused
accomplished
drained
