Southern Fried, Son!

Me, Flow, Myra, and Rob Hylton hit the road to the 2008 Southern Fried Poetry Slam in Talahasse. It was freekin off the chains sweet. Originally I wasn't even going to go BUT Flowmentalz has a way of convincing people to do things mostly just breaking you down until you can't take it anymore. He's a fargin' bully.

Glad he bullied me because we went down there and came in fourth place and I won the Indie title. Preety Sweet. Our first bout had my former youth poet extroidinaire TJ rocking with Arkansas and Asia, Lizz, Cuban, and Saraih. We beat them Because they slept on us nad it was pretty awesome. Asia went over time and I got to make fun of them for the rest of the nigh until Asia rolled up on me with his renta car and almost made me shart all over myself. TJ brought heat with his arcade piece. Scored a 29.9 and straight up performed his ass off. It was pretty impressive but its not a 30 like Big Mike scored.

The next night we had a super late bout but during the day our team put some heavy practice time in. MYra, Flow, and Rob were all sleeping and I was wandering around. Jersey knows how to practice I tell ya. I actually found Asia and his crew and they let me chill out and watch them. It is cool to see people really critique each other in a Non Jersey, non derogatory way. I knew they were not to be slept on. TJ rocked the bout before us and did Question. This was the greatest performance I have seen in a long time buy a young poet. It was truly a perfect piece. 30!

Our bout was crazy close. Flow half assed his way through Drama and got a 29.4, but he is an icon and could probably fart a solid 29. Myra and Rob held it down with teacher and hip hop, We were down .1 and needed a 30 to win so I had to unleash th FATTY Fat Fat poem and lower the BOOM! 30! I wen t hard to the point of exhaustion. Grease was popping and my team needed me plus that damn TJ got a 30 and I am his shifu.

The next morning I chilled out with Copa Soul and I just want the world to know or at least the 7 people that read this blog that i never update... Copastetic Soul is the coolest most genuine poetry cat I met. He is all about family and having a good time. He took care of TJ, hosted bouts, slammed, hit on big women, bout managed. This cat is real and I am glad to have him as one of my peoples.

The day bout we had a t 1:30 had us versing one of the damn charolette teams, Respect the Mic. These cats in NC have mastered their art man and it is a poetry slam group piece lesson when they hit the stage and MAZE is my favorite spoken word artist period! Tavis is on this team and every slam i have done out of state we have gone against each other. It is always fun. Respect the Mic killed us. It was like 90,000 degrees and i had to rip the President poem and almost die, again. This was not a 30 BUT i did get an awesome reaction. TJ was in the bout before us and did some piece that didn't hit. I felt bad for him because it took him out of indies but he will be ther next year.

We made finals and I made indies so it was awesome. We practice d hard for thae night bout. Just playing! They slept and I read a green lantern comic book. If we practiced we might actually be a threat to some teams, but that takes too much focus. Focusing is not as fun as drinking. It was the 2 Charolettes, Asia, Lizz and crew, and Jersey. Rob went first and set it off with America. He held his own in that round. Myra rocked and then Group piece, group piece, group piece.... we were done. So i decide to kill the indie slam and in the 4 years i have been slamming I got the best reactions EVER. Un f'n real... they were chanting 10, yelling out catchphrases like i had cue cards. It was crazy. Since we were getting crushed me and flow decided to do our group piece which we practiced twice. I was tired as hell. I rocked in the heat and just spent every ounce i had on indies and Flow looked at me and said , "I'll carry you dawg!" We got up there and people didn't know what to expect from our dumb asses. we did a poem about being real and not changing called "Still" I poke fun at some poet habits in the poem .... didn't go over but WHO CARES ! plus MR. I'll hold it down flow forgot the damn end of the poem! Funny stuff. The last poem I did I think surprised everyone. I went up thanked everyone told the teams it was an honor and it truly was. I am not a POET. I am a 3rd grade teacher. I want people to know that so I finally got to read the piece i have been dieing to do. My Teacher Poem. It felt good not to hoot and hollar for a change. I enjoy entertaing with my poetry but i also want people to know there is more to Big Mike than high energy funny rants. I actually got a great score better than I thought I'd get but I lost a point, At this point WHO CARES?

Asia, Lizz, Cuban, and Sariah won it. I don't think the opther teams thought they had 3 group pieces but honestly it was all Love. That is why I love Southern Fried. I hate the f'n National Poetry Slam political bullsh... Maybe the poetry is better ther, Maybe not BUt you can't even touch the Southern Fried Family Love. That is what makes Poetry experiences real to me. I have to pick and choose when to go out because of my family and if I do the team Slam thing again it will be at Southern Fried because I know I will have fun. NPS can have Buddy Wakefield, Louder Arts, etc... because SF has Maze Forever, Team Prayer and Sweet Tea!

My family life is stressful, and I often come home angry because of 3 teens specifically so it is nice to really get out and have fun. I think that is why i was rocking so hard. The pieces were old but i felt like for the first time in a while i had new life. Thank you to Paul D, Wally B, Shadow and a ton of new faces. That weekend was great.

Asia, you are my man!
Cuban, You are grown!
Lizz, You want me!
Tavis, I am the best fat poet! Group piece that!
TJ, i am proud of you but I am the CHAMP!
Maze and Bluez, y'all cats are innovators and real. Keep killin' It.
Copa, my brother

Fix Mistake... SANIA rocked with Florida. There must have been smoke screns in my wheaties or some cool hook like that... sorry i don't want to get cut. I know how Philly ROLLS!

4:29 AM - 13 Comments - 15 Kudos - Add Comment

It’s Been a long time since I left you

It has been a long time since I've blogged, updated my page, wrote or even cared about much anything except one thing... and it is definitly not poetry. Four months ago my beautiful and at times TOO STRONG wife gave birth to the prettiest little girl in the galaxy. Happy times, but not always. I have a lot of freekin' kids to take care of and  the teenagers have really made me realize that as much as I do it isn't enough. I used to spend a ton of time at poetry spots hitting the open mics, slams whatever. Finally landed the Def Poetry Spot that some poets strive for and i was like "NOW WHAT!? YEAH SON MAKING MOVES!" ....um NO.

As much as I love poetry I have to stay my ground. My niece and nephews have all f'd up horribly in school. My Youth Slam time took advantage of home and we're basically young immatur arrogant %^$@,  My youngest son started Kindergarten, My main man did super bad on his ASK 4 writing, my oldest niece, we raised , moved back with her son and we had a really bad situation happen and even though it says I have 1077 friends I don't trust y'all like that.

I am not complaining but how f'n selfish would i be to try to live or obtain a dream of whatever it is the spoken word scene leaves you to. I love performing, hosting, acting, hamming it up, but I love my family more. I love them so much that i will do any and evrything to make sure they make it. One day they may hate me. One day they may thank me but I have to walk away saying I tried my best to help them. Everyone right now is doing great! Devon loves Kindergarten, and stickers,stamps and smiley faces. Brandon has a tutor and is an "amazing youg man" according to his teacher. Jasmine is playing Soccer and getting mostly Bs, Michael is doing well and hopefully will save enough money to take summer classes for lost credits, Jessica and her son  Xavier are here and even though he makes me feel old as hell when he calls me PoP PoP he is a cute as lil boy,  Joel just turned 18 and is trying to move forward with whatever it is he wants to do, and my baby Jamie is Perfect Perfect Perfect to the 100 power.
THEIR PROGRESS makes me feel great for them. As bad as the summer was with all the dumb choices made This , THIS is good.

You'll never hear me say , "I'm puttin' the mic down" , "I'm retiring from poetry" , "I don't slam or perform anymore."  That is frickin' really really super ass clownish to say and i've heard people say it. I Love the art of Expression. I'm just sayin' if i'm not out there. There is a reason why... and remeber Poetry beefs, Jealousy, Slam scores, FameCast votes, PSI Rules.... Get a real problem. POETRY DRAMA IS NOT A REAL PROBLEM!

I made a choice as a young man to get married and take in kids. I realize that. I have to handle THAT!

I live my dream through my friends that have made moves and pursued what they love. I'm sure if  they make it big time they know i'd bodyguard for them in a second.  I may not be at your Nuyorican, Bowery, Bar 13 , or  all the Jersey Spots now poppin' up but when I am y'all poets better clear a path because the FAT MAN, whether it is old shit or new shit, is going to  leave that damn spot smokin!

Don't worry I'm not stupid if it is a paying gig, or college gig I am there. SHiiiiiT MRS. Big Mike will not allow me to turn down good shows and my babies got to eat

If you read this long ass blog. Thanks!

6:13 PM - 5 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

Cometry and a BIG Thank you!

Thanks to everyone that has spread the word, dropped a comment, called, or stoppped me at a spot to say they enjoyed my work on the first episode of this season's Def Poetry. I appreciate the support for the show and me. My DVD is complete, the book is coming so i'm going to try the merchandise thing. In a market over saturated with shit product. I tried to make the book and dvd unique and fun.

Also the first week of March... March 1- 4... Flow, Myra and myself are going to leave the Nuyo in stitches with our performanceduring the Roar Festival, Cometry. It has comedy skits, poetry, music. It is funny as hell, creative and a great way to relieve that built up tension from the work week. Go to www.spokenworks.com to make reservations.

Thank you Again for all the Love !

Check out Hbo.com and the def poetry site to vote for me so i can smash Shanelle Gabrielle in the polls. I think i was winning at first but she has stayed home and just kept clicking and clicking her name. I know she is way better looking then me, probably more talented, cute and funny is way better the Fat and Bald but i'm BIG MIKE DAMMIT... a sexxxy beeeyotch!

Sorry Shanelle, You know i love you but i don't have all that time to sit at my computer and vote for myself! I must count on the Legions of myspacers to support me! 

On the real... i am going to hustle and bust my big behind to keep this poetry scene fun and creative ...i love poetry and love to laugh and will continue try and entertain and enlighten whether hosting, performing, or being me!

Peace party people... HAHA ... See ya later

11:56 AM - 4 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

Def Poetry and Good News?

Def Poetry is coming on This Month and I am on this season. WORD!  I saw the Buzz clip on the Hbo site and i was like, "OHHHHHHH! Check me out!" I was really getting ready to feel myself  and get BHS (Big Head Syndrome).... Then i hear, " MICHAWW" (My wife ends every word with W) "We need some Milk and Bread."  So much for feeling myself  BUT I must say  It was fun as hell when Def taped. Jill Scott rubbed my belly, i met Patrick Ewing and John Starks, and acted a damn fool like usual. Please check it out there are a lot of dope people on this year. I know as a poet and fan I always enjoyed the show  but sometimes wondered what the hell? I'm sure poets and fans will still do that BUT i hope they enjoy ME! Sike Naw, i felt there was a lot of fresh new faces, me being one of them. I hope it does well poetry needs a platform other then the cafes'. I'm grateful to be on and i appreciate every poet who has helped me out. There are a bunch that deserve to be on. I hope i represent the art well. I know i'll try.

Def Poetry is a an extra in this crazy life of mine. I always apperciate my poetry time cuz family time is insane. It is always SUPER hectic from Sept. to June. I have my nephews and niece to raise, My son Devon and DRUM ROLL a pregnant wife with little girl in her belly due in June. I was hoping for a baby with a wang but God likes to test me SO i will have all of the weaponary needed to raise a baby girl in this f'd up world. It is bad enough my 15 yr old Jazzy is devoloping into a woman. I remember her as a little gap toothed 6 year old annoying everyone in sight. Now she has boobs. NOT COOL! Now i get to have my very own girl that i made with my powerful pregnancy punch. I never thought 2minutes could drastically change my life like this.

But its all GOOD! I think...

Later People who read blogs

Remember... Watch Def Poetry and keep the Sexy Fat Man in your thoughts

2:31 PM - 8 Comments - 14 Kudos - Add Comment

Big Sexy

Six foot one, 275 pounds, 2 percent muscle and 98 percent body fat

hair on the back of neck, bags under my eyes,

a belly bigger than Buddha where chiseled washboard abs once lied ,

even though I look like Im in my third trimester

Im due no time soon

See Im not the prettiest mother*****

But I am a sexy a$$ bitch

A big sexy bald man

that has marks on this body to compliment you

Pretty boys get tattoos,

BABY, I sport fatoos

Stretch marks to compliment your culinary skills

a minimum 3 plates to let you know that you let it burn

Id never insult you by sayin Im full

I show my love in pounds A Lot

Sometimes I stain my shirt on purpose

so I can carry you throughout the day

Size 44 waist , B cup titties

See, Im not the prettiest mother****

But damn Im a sexy

Im sexy like a grandmother that raised her children

and now raises her childrens children

because theyre too busy getting there groove on

life aint nothing but a  party and clubs

clubs are for pretty mother*****

But Chuckie Cheese Chuckie Cheese is for the grown and sexy

Fathers flexing their pocket muscles

so little junior can wak a mole,

Nannies and grannies bending their old asses over tryin to play skeeball

Victoria Secret and Hooker Boots can never compare

to M.I.L.Fs in the supermarket with curlers, sweats and house Slippers

God thats Sexy

Pretty Mother******* think  abs of steel, buns of steel

Muscular pecs and implanted breasts

Impress?

Surgery and push ups - Thats not sexy

Those once perky breasts

that now sag after feeding your third child - are sexy

My 8 year old coming home saying,

Daddy I got student of the Month

Me saying, Damn Brandon! Thats kinda sexy

Sexy

Sexy is my wife being able to cook dinner

while watching her novella,

as she talks on the phone

and pops my son for tryin to steal oreos before he eats

Librarians are sexy,

teachers are sexy,

25 years of marriage in the age of divorce is sexy

Look beneath the surface and find the true meaning of sexy

My Big and Tall gear from Burlington coat factory

may never get me red carpet status,

my jewelry has no bling

But I pride myself on the fact that Im pretty good at this daddy thing

And its so fn Sexy

This Beer Belly is sexy

My 52 inch Hi definition TV with 376 channels and reclining sofa are Sexy

Men that cut the grass, coach little league, and raise their damn children

- are sexy

It's Easy to be Pretty. try being Sexy

Brad and Angelina can adopt all the little Africans the want

theyre not sexy

Katie Holmes, Tom Cruise - Scientology   Crazy not sexy

Brittney Spears and K-Fed Nasty

Anorexic dames destroying the minds of young girls

to become Americas Next Top Model Not Sexy

Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton

eat some cupcakes b***hes  - cuz you are not sexy

Mrs. Brady Sexy

Al Bundy Sexy

Florida Evans from Good times

Damn, Damn, Damn - She was sexy

And me Big Mike

A father, and uncle, a grandfather, a teacher,

a faithful husband, a loyal friend and a responsible fuckin Man

And I may not be the prettiest mother*****

But I am a sexy a$$ bitch

3:56 PM - 6 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment