Gender: Female
Age: 28
City: CHARLESTON
State: South Carolina
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September 30, 2008 - Tuesday
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Too good to be true
Current mood: smitten
Category: Romance and Relationships
Hello friends and faithful readers. I apologize for not being more active in blogging but summer was fairly uneventful. After I quit Easterby's I pretty much just hung out doing schoolwork, going to the pool and a whole lot of nothing...
Well, that all changed in August, my life took a very unexpected turn in a good direction for once! I was out walking Sadie and as usual she was off the leash, and she went running to this guy and his little chiwawa. I had just gotten back from one of the many ER visits I have had due to the development of ovarian cysts (nothing fatal ya'll, just fucking painful as shit) Needless to say I was pretty doped up on painkillers and feeling real gooood 
So we started talking, exchanged numbers and made plans to hang out and have a few beers and blaze up. The very first thing that caught my attention was his name, Kirby. Now as most ya'll know my last boyfriend was named Joshua Kirby and I haven't been with anyone at all since we broke up. Thats right folks, 14 months of self induced abstinence. I had resolved to not make any prior mistakes, like hooking up with ex's or the ever handy one night stand. So needless to say I was more then ready to get on with my love life, either that or enter a convent ~ I had even picked out my name, Sister Mary Margaret

The next night I went over to his house, namely because I remembered thinking he was really hot and thats about it. I didn't really remember much of our conversation since I was pretty doped up so I was curious to find out about him. So here's the deal; his name is Kirby Murphy and he is 27 (b-day Nov. 8th) making me about 6 months older then him. He's Irish (obviously) from somewhere up in North Georgia, graduated from Johnson&Wales with his culinary degree and works as a Sous Chef/kitchen supervisor on Daniel Island at the moment. He doesn't have any ex-wives, psycho girlfriends or kids, he has a car, a license, his own apartment. Already he is sounding too good to be a true.
But it gets better, he is also pretty hot (thankfully it wasn't just the drug induced haze)... he's about 5'8 or so, in pretty decent shape ~ not fat or anything. Dark brown hair, green eyes, cute little dimple in his chin ~ kind of resembles the love of my life Drew Fuller if his hair was longer 
OK, so we hang out and he asks me out on a date and I of course said yes. So we go out a few times, talk on the phone everyday, hang out when he gets off work etc etc Everything is going really well, we get along, have a lot in common and an obvious mutual attraction. Problem, neither one of us could get up the nerve to make a move!!! Finally it got to the point that Jon sent him a text asking his intentions and told him he needed to just go for it LOL
So that night we are sitting there and we talked about why we hadn't... err .. progressed to the next level. I figured I had just lost my game and he said he wasn't sure I was into him... basically just mixed signals. SO finally he kisses me, and I am thinking "Thank God, It is about damn time"
Then I figured this must be where the problem is, we are going to be sexually incompatible, his penis will be really small, he'll have herpes, SOMETHING!! Because so far he is perfect in most every way and that is just not my luck. I mean this guy has his life together, ambition, a job! He is really sweet, makes me laugh, cooks me dinner, we share some common interests that have hindered past relationships, we have tons in common like working in F&B since we were teenagers and a sketchy past involving lots of drinking, drugs, sex and DUI's ~ though we have both grown up enough to agree that partying till dawn is fun now and again not on a nightly/weekly basis.
The kissing progressed on to other things like it usually does and the sex was damn good... Now I want to know "What's the catch?"
Now, I know that no one is perfect but this is like the Charmed episode where they conjured up a perfect man for Piper. They wrote down certain qualities they wanted in a guy and *poof* there he was! It's like my fairy godmother or something read my blog and picked out the following important things I wanted in my next boyfriend; someone that could make me laugh, no kids and ex-wives or girlfriends lurking, a job, a car, his own place that was not his mamma/sister/cousin's house, attractive.... Irish (I love my Irish boys, always have,always will) someone who still liked to party a little bit, but not a massive drug addict, someone that was not only good in bed, but doesn't have any nasty sleeping habits that make me want to go sleep alone in my bed LOL
So here is this perfect guy and where has he been all this time? Living in the building next to mine for the past 3 years, I never once saw him that entire time. Funny how fate works sometimes... Oh and just to add a little more irony to the situation, the day we *finally* hooked up was September 15th ~ Joshua's birthday ~ needless to say our anniversary is Sept. 25th, the day we made things "official" instead of our first time 
Well I am sure this has probably nauseated a few people, I know that the "new couple syndrome" is usually annoying to anyone who is not running around all madly in lust. Mind you, I didn't say love ~ I am old enough to know that great sex does not equal love. Right now we are in that happy beginning stage of the relationship where you can't keep your hands off one another and you still do sweet things for one another, like he cooks me dinner and I give him a pre-work blowjob I can't say that I am in love with him yet, but if he is actually as perfect as he seems I am chaining him to my bed forever ~ I am definitely not letting this one get away :P
6:55 PM
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July 5, 2008 - Saturday
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Back to a life of leisure...
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers
So I got a job at Easterby's and it is the worst restaurant EVER!! So, I have yet again quit the job, I lasted almost two weeks - go me!!
So here is why I quit: As a server I was responsible for: seating tables bussing tables waiting on tables food prep (expo) food runner dishwasher rolling silver cleaning, sweeping of wait station breaking down salad bar cleaning and marrying all the cocktail, tartar and ketchup on every table bathroom duties, mopping ,scrubbing toilets and washing windows
My sidework took almost 2 hours to complete and that was nightly, nothing special....
things I hated: the one manager Ann was a Nazi bitch there were no tongs or anything like that to get bread, hush puppies, or make salads there were only a few rags in the entire restaurant and a bucket of bleach water for cleaning purposes ~ those rags cleaned tables, kitchen counters, the lids to all the sauces and likely the bathrooms too. no one in the kitchen wore gloves there were no computers - hand written tickets the staff was all female and bitchy for the most part employee discount was 20% - you had to pay if you wanted to drink soda while you worked I was told bread baskets were not washed until the end of the night, and not between each use
The 1 reason, one person made $70 and said it was one of his best nights ever.
So back to being a lady of leisure...
10:23 PM
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June 25, 2008 - Wednesday
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My new job
Current mood: apathetic
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers
I give it till the weekend before I A) Quit B) Call Out Sick C) Just not show up D) Get fired
Now taking bets....
7:20 PM
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3 Comments - 6 Kudos
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February 13, 2008 - Wednesday
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February 11, 2008 - Monday
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My fabulous skills
Current mood: amused

So everyone who reads my blog should know I'm an obsessed wannabe photographer/model/writer/independantly-wealthy snob who loves taking pictures of random shit. So, apparently it has paid off. This is like the third time someone has asked permission to use one of the pictures I took in their blog/internet article. The other two photo's went on to fairly boring places, one was a lotto ticket and the other was some nature picture I took, spiderweb maybe?? This pic actually went on to an amusing canadian blog ~ http://www.darkroastedblend.com/2008/02/weird-signs-part-9.html
That would be where I found the picture above - it also is from good ole SC according to the credits and I love it. It seems like something my charming mother would do...
Well that is my short, uneventful blog for a very uneventful day!
Nighty Night my darlings!!
10:01 PM
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February 9, 2008 - Saturday
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Blue... Today ONLY!!
Current mood: naughty
Category: Quiz/Survey
Facebook Quiz - what color are you? Blue: The color of sky and the sea - the color of ambition, hope and divinity - you represent the potential held by each and every one of us. From the vast expanses of ocean, the very sky we live under - you're almost divine presence can be sensed everywhere. You calm and soothe like no other, and are famous for being smooooth.
See, I think it is a crime to blog about facebook on myspace and I don't want to wake up one night with Tom hovering over my bead with a chainsaw threatening to chop off my hands should I dare Blog about his competition on his beloved "myspace"... So here I am..
So todays application of the day is "what color are you?" Now I have taken this quiz in the past and I scored green. Not Green for today, just Green. I looked at my friends page and he was Red, just Red. So I am wondering why the color I pick is "for today" does that mean my answers were so contradictory I am only this color today, tomorrow I may be back to Green or maybe on to Red? I think that says a lot about me, blue is symbolic of water, which is ever changing and flowing and all that jazz. Now if you look at it astrologically, Green should be my color as i am an earth sign and earth is represented by Green. HOWEVER, my rising sign is Pisces, a water sign and represented by fishies swimming in opposite directions.. which is related too, guess what BLUE!! So what does that mean, does it mean today my rising sign is taking precedence over my sun sign?
Or does it mean I just finished reading Dan Brown's Angels and Demons and feel the need to blog about symbolism?
LOL
I do so enjoy rambling on about nothing, but yes the latter is true. I did just read Angels & Demons and found it more exciting then The DaVinci code. I am, however, wondering what Catholic priest molested a young Dan Brown to make him really *hate* the Catholic church so much ???
I was raised Catholic and though I would have to define my religious preferences as more on the witchy side then Catholic, I still respect others peoples right to believe what they want. As I read in a book, no not the bible or any wiccan book, just a plain old book, That all gods are one and it does not matter what face they are worshipped by as long as they are acknowledged. Sounds good to me. There is probably an equal amount of devout Wiccans who probably think I am desecrating their entire belief system because I still pray to God as well as the Mother Goddess not too mention the Catholics who would burn me at the stake for my pagan beliefs - fuck them both I will take all the spiritual help I can get. Remember the movie "The Mummy" where the traitor guy Benny (?) encounters the mummy and starts pulling out all of his crosses of every different faith. That would be me, I think I have successfully created my own combination religion of wiican and catholic beliefs.. Now all I need is followers, *hmmmm* The cult of Jezzabelle? The Goddess Jezzabelle & The Chosen Ones? Hmmm, the latter sounds like a really awful band. OK - no cults for me, BAH!
On to one other note about Facebook, to me it still seems no more mature then Myspace, especially once you read the quote on top. SMOOOOTH. WTF? I am not smooth, at all. In fact I am pretty in your face and clumsy to boot. Not to mention something that has been bugging me a lot as of late. I am rated as "best mother" and "most enviable" of all my friends. Now I am not to sure of the whole envy thing, since I am pretty well useless besides being charming and witty. Oh and damn cute too. But what about the mother thing? Hmmmmm, who is doing the voting in these things? Am I getting that rating as some kind of hint thats its time? I hope not, I don't hear any ticking in my head.... Voices, maybe on occasion... Like when I am out of my meds, like now I have no Klonapins until Tuesday or Wednesday?? I am so going to freak the fuck out in a not so funny Brittney Spears kind of way. I Think my mom has already reached that point, therefore I will be hiding in my room for the rest of the day. She just came in and informed me she had found Ski's (like snow ski's, not that I know of any other kind of ski's?, but anyway) and was on her way to pawn said Ski's, I tried to inform her that we are in Charleston where there is *NO* ski season, due to the fact we have no snow, nor mountains, not even hills. She informed me there was mountains in North Carolina, so I pointed out ski season is pretty much over up there too. I guess that pissed her off as my invitation to pawnshop was revoked. What can a girl do?
Wow, this has really been a spiritual substantial post in a rambling nonsensical type of way. Maybe I will risk the wraith of Tom, and post this on myspace. On the other hand I am awfully fond of my hands *pouts* Damn you Tom and you're all seeing eye! Oh well, tis worth the risk! ***************************** As you see I have another blog *gasp* It is on Blogspot and mainly I write over here but now and again I write over there to mix shit up. Some posts, like this one deserve playing placed in both... other's don't. However, that is the blog linked to Facebook. Hence when I went to blog on about all the useless apps on Facebook and then got completely sidetracked, which is not unusual, I decided this post was meant to be in both places? Now why am I telling you all this, I don't know.
I did read all the rules of a successful Blogger and am quite amused. I refuse to *not * make my posts all about me, because who the fuck else do I want to write about? I don't like politics, especially now that my Stephen is out of the running, well he never technically *was* but I believed in him! I rarely feel the need to discuss religion, or any other important topic that does not directly relate to, well me! The next point I refuse to do is mass mail or put a "subscribe to my really fancy blog" icon at the bottom of every blog like the guy who wrote all of these *great* suggestions to up your readership and comments! Number one, I don't know how to make fancy icons, nor do I care. Two, if you don't want to read my blog, fine don't. I am not writing it for you anyway. I write this shit for me, in some weird way it helps me make sense of the madness that is Mari. I learned a new word about commenting on other peoples blogs. "Blogdicking" I almost stopped reading right there b/c I was getting a little disgusted anyway and figured reading the explanation of that word called for a cigarette. Apparently it involves commenting on someone's blog first, or cutting in on someone else's comment to make yourself more visible.
One last point that I do find to be worthwhile is ending your post with a question, a moment of zen, something to mke your readers think... So here we go, *drumroll please*
Am I Fucking Great or What?
12:31 PM
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February 6, 2008 - Wednesday
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Blogging and High School
Current mood: sassy
Category: Blogging
OK this is a strictly myspace related rant, I was just reading my girl Minx's blog about people who blog's talk shit about people who blog. Yes it sounds confusing and it is an oxymoron if you think about it. So said topic is about top myspace bloggers, I personally didn't know there was such a thing ~ I knew there were blog contests, generally centered around short stories people have posted in their blogs for entertainment et al. Apparently however this an elite group of people out there who are considered "Top Bloggers" Fancy shit huh? I am not 100% on how you become a top blogger, I guess it has to do with views and comments, kudo's ~ shit like that. So Minx's blog was about the people who talk shit about the very thing they do (blog) and mentioned a couple of names. Well apparently said people got rather pissed and wrote nasty blogs in return and has become like an all out war amonst the other "top bloggers"... First of all boo fucking hoo to the boys who got pissed - the point of blogging is freedom of expression. I am first to admit my blog is all about ME and whatever I find interesting. Would I like to be a member of the "Top Bloggers"? Sure, why the fuck not? Everybody likes attention and since we spill our guts out in some cases for millions of myspace readers to see, maybe some people deserve recognition for doing so. Do I think that these other people should be attacking Minx for posting her personal opinion. No, that's bullshit. She has just as much right to express her distaste for other people's blogs as they do to post blogs about the stupidity of blogging. It has nothing to do with the fact I like her blogs and had never even heard of these guys, but to be fair I checked out their sites to see what they had written about. All three are amusing in their own way. However to trash other people for doing the *same* thing you are is akin to the pot calling the kettle black and then get so vicious when called out on it is silly. It reminds me of High School cliques, it really is very sad that people have nothing better to do then bash other people.  I'm glad that no one reads my blog . This way I can talk whatever shit I want! I guess in the Myspace world of blogging I am a nerd and not cool enough to associate with the "top bloggers" oh well...
12:15 PM
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February 4, 2008 - Monday
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Supermodel....
Current mood: artistic
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers
Yes, Jezzabelle is destined for fame and fortune in the wonderful world of modeling! All I need now is to become anorexic and/or bulemic(sp?) pick up my cocaine habit and drink lots of vodka and chain smoke 
Seriously I doubt I will ever be a supermodel, but I am a camera/attention whore so to feed my needs I am now the newest member of Model Mayhem I am Mayhem 601870 ~ Model
It's one of those networking sites for models, photographers and what not. Already I have made a few connections and possible shoots. I really could care less if I ever become a published model or ever even make a dime, I am doing it purely for fun and the fact I am vain beyond all belief and love pictures of myself 
In other news I love my job, I do nothing and we all know how good I am at that! I am trying to get some of my friends to come work with me since so far there is no one interesting to play with. *sigh* No hot boys either... BAH!
Superball was actually exciting yesterday, the Giants won *yay* and though Tom Brady is cuter then Eli Manning, I am not a NE fan, so I was psyched. Plus the last quarter was pretty exciting! I was pretty fucked up and almost ended up at Lisa's but I couldn't find a ride, bah, then I passed out 15 minutes after talking to Lisa so probably best I didn't get a ride...
I should so be doing school shit, but I don't want too... It's boring and soaps are on and Jon scanned some pics for me - some are pretty fucking weird though since he was in a hurry? I dunno, I need to go do some myself at his house or have him bring the scanner here...
Well I'm out bitches!
11:13 AM
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January 31, 2008 - Thursday
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Myspace, Facebook, & Crack
Current mood: satisfied
Category: Life
Most are probably wondering about my title, as you see all three have one common factor. Addiction.
Now I am an admitted addict. I have an addictive personality, period. I drink in excess, smoke in excess, eat in excess (when I have food)you get the point. This past year I have been attending school online, meaning I spend loads of time online. Mainly avoiding schoolwork, with my fav distractions myspace and facebook. I like Flickr too, but since I had to pawn my damn camera, that addiction is on hold.
Facebook has gotten out of hand, it has nothing to do with friends really. It is all the damn applications that you can add and play with and before you know it you have everything from your top 5 million friends to movies, books, quizzes, horoscopes, weather, even Lotto! and on and on... It really is more time consuming then myspace just because you can get lost playing with all the little applications.
On an amusing note I have changed my age from being born in 80 to 85, which I think makes me 22. ;) So far no one has noticed, but I don't feel any particularly smarter or wiser at 27 and I don't look any different - sleeping all day instead of hitting the beach helped out in the long run, I am pretty much wrinkle free. So, now I can find lots of young boys to play with, hehehehe Just kidding, well sort of... ;)
Normally I only write my blogs on myspace and then transfer them over here. Main reason is more people know about my myspace blog then this one. However no one ever really comments, so really doesn't matter where i write I suppose. I would like to think my words of wisdom are moving to someone, but no - apparently not *shrugs* oh well, don't much care this is not a work of art, this is my life. sometimes I venture into other topics beyond me and my little world. Usually not...
It's not I don't know whats going on, I just don't care unless it has an impact om my world. I pretty much have spent the past 3 months in isolation, haven't worked, haven't really gone anywhere. I have just done my thing. I guess I needed some down time, to get away for awhile. As social as I am I can be equally antisocial and my downtime is necessary for my sanity. Usually it does not last for 3 months - but I had some serious things to sort through.
My love life for one, Joshua leaving me hurt a lot more then I expected or ever let on. It literally has made me scared to get involved in any kind of relationship for fear of being broken hearted or getting involved with someone for the wrong reasons. I know I am your classic "Damsel in Distress" waiting for someone to save me from, well me. But that doesn't work, the more they try and save me I resent it as trying to change me! I go for the men I think will be stable and balance out my craziness - WRONG! I guess I just need to succumb and find someone as crazy as I am. Stop striving for that normal life I will never half nor really want. I am always that person who wants what they can't have. Sucks to be me eh?
Now, I think I am ready to move on, I'm not the lost lil girl looking for someone to take care of me anymore. I want someone who can be my equal. I am not ready to jump back in any relationships, but for the first time in months I am open to the possibility of it. Mainly cuz I need to get laid for real. It has been way too long.. I suppose I should go ahead and get my yearly check up, stock up on condoms and go sit in a bar somewhere with no panties... :P Kidding, but that is a surefire way of getting laid if you're ever feeling desperate.
School is down to like 6 more classes including the fabulous retake of Algebra *BAH* Math is useless beyond all reason... I am however excelling in civil lit, the process of the lawsuit! I heart lawsuits!! I can't wait, definitely wanna be a litigation paralegal, I have found my calling and is to SUE!!
Work is work. I think I finely decided why I couldn't settle down in one restaurant. Cocaine. I hate waitressing so much, and it is so available in most restaurants it was too easy to become an addict again. Truth to be told, I pretty much had to be jacked up to deal, sad but true. At least at catering events, it's somewhere new every time and that cuts out the repetition that drives me to wanna get all fucked up to begin with... Plus I won't have connections and doubt I can get people to deliver to places like MUSC or the Convention Center, or plantations LOL So it all works out in the end. I can start looking for a *real* office job to start getting in some experience with that environment, plus make some extra cash on the side since any office job I get will likely be part time to start, at least until I finish school.
I think that was another reason I needed to get out of society for awhile, fight my addictions. Which was hard to do when you are broken hearted and escape is much easier then reality. Luckily reality doesn't hurt so bad anymore... I can get up and not feel empty and useless. I have my self esteem back and my enormous ego which had been badly damaged... Being dumped by like the past 4 guys I have been with really was quite a blow. But I am resilient, I know they are just morons, especially when I look back at Dustin *shudders* God what was I thinking??? At least with Bob and Joshua I know my reasoning, I wanted them to save me and they gave up when they knew it was impossible to change me. Kristopher, I can honestly say I fell in love with just because he was so sweet and so different then all the others. I know it would have probably not lasted long, mostly it was the *doomed from the start* appeal, what with his prospective move to another state. We were too different in some vital aspects and he would not have been able to handle my possessiveness, let alone the whirlwind of emotions I fly through daily... Plus side we are still friends, which likely would not be possible if he hadn't moved. I don't have many ex's in SC that are big fans of me LOL
But, I it is a new year and all those men are in the past as far as love is concerned. So what comes next? Well certainly no plans on finding a man! For the first time in seven damn years I am truly a single girl. I am not in between relationships, I have no particular man that I want to be with - at least none that I know personally, like Drew Fuller from Charmed... I really am just planning "08" as all about me! Well, it's always all about me anyway, but now even moreso! ;) I am going to finish school, start my career and, maybe even get my license... OK probably not the latter, but I would like to at least let this be the year I get to keep all my favorite stuff, instead of pawning it? *sighs*
Speaking of finances, good news on rent - I am a mere $100 short! *cheers* Considering I had around $50 this morning, and rent is $808.80 this month, I think it has been a very profitable day. I know have $500 in my fav HP book, around $217 in my account and I have till Wednesday to sell myself for the rest LOL Kidding, I'm hoping there will be tips involved in either tonight or tomorrows event. Friday is MUSC grand opening of some damn wing, the mayor will be there - he's a cheap tipper so I don't see a lot of money happening there ( I have waited on him several times, $5, always $5 no matter what the tab - cheap bastard, RETIRE ALREADY JOE!!) Saturday is Convention Center and hopefully that is some event with lots of booze that I can bartend at instead of serve... I am much better with drunk rich people, then snotty rich people who don't drink or tip.
Well, this lady of leisure is off to go... be leisurely!
Later bitches!!
11:46 AM
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January 30, 2008 - Wednesday
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La Di Dah
Current mood: cooky/wacky
Category: Blogging
I like to write, I like to write absolute nonsense at times that no one but me is really interested in. I guess you could say I am a pretty self involved person, some even would say I am selfish and self centered, not too mention snobby and stubborn. I like how all of those words begin with S by the way, Aliterations are fun.
You know what annoys me, the squiggly lines that appear when you are writing something with spellcheck. I know rule number one for writes is to write first, edit later - but those damn lines drive me nuts!!! So I edit and edit and it takes forever to even write a school paper let alone a blog or venture into fiction...
One place that spellcheck does not work is on my Myspace blogs, which is probably where they are needed most. Since this is my testement to the world on Jezzabelle's guide to Life, Love and Xanax, they should be spelled correctly at least. I am somewhat of a spelling and grammar Nazi. Oddly the built in spellcheck with my fancy google toolbar works on bulletins, not blogs?
Yeah - moving on, school starts today. Interviewing & Investigation which requires me to watch an episode of Law & Order for an assignment. Luckily it is on 18 hours a day on TNT - this however confirms my deepest fear that this is another college degree I will never use and online college is a joke. I hate Law & Order and all that shit, what will I do working in the field? Well, thank god for Klonapins!
My other class is going to be great Civil Lit II - the fine art of lawsuits *swoons* I am so gonna be an ambulance chaser. I am going to apply to work with Bill Green - maybe he will let me be on a commercial?? Civil Lit 1 I aced with a 96, 70 whole points more than Algebra... Bah, who needs fucking math!
Again I have entered the work force, at a temp agency Where I can work when I want and get paid every week, make decent wages and go to Charlestons finest events. All while making an hourly wage, plus tips at times and drinking and eating as much free food and alcohol as I want! *yay*
Did the oyster fest at Boone Hall last week - fucking rocked, I was a Sam Adams beer girl - all I did was pour beer, take tickets, and check out the fine ass men that attended!
Well its that time.. This is Jezzabelle signing off, I'm out Bitches!
10:26 AM
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