Florida update
Current mood: mellow

I've been lightly reprimanded for not updating my blog since moving to Florida. For all you know I decided to pull over in Savannah and not drive another mile. I love Savannah; spanish moss, fountains, Johnny Mercer. At any rate, Savannah will have to wait.

The drive went surprisingly smooth. Thank GOD for portable DVD players and Gameboys! I've never been a fan of such things as I think kids should look the hell out the window and play the "alphabet game" for 15 hours like I did, but in this case I'll make an exception.

It took about six weeks until I found a job. Funny enough it was through one of few agencies I DID NOT register for. They saw my resume and called me. The hundred plus resumes I sent, dozens of job sites I registered for got me nowhere. All well. I'm employeed. This week I started a second job at a band and orchestra type music store. It seems fine. I need to bust my butt until I buy a car (I do have one to drive whenever I need or want...I'm not biking it) and pay off a couple of monthly commitments before I move into my own place. It may take about six months.

I hope to get a teaching job for the fall; either music or English. This Thursday is a job fair where I'll talk to the principals. Hopefully they'll get their shit together and lift this hiring freeze before then, so I can go after specific positions.

That's about it. I LOVE the hot weather and I can bitch about the gas prices with the rest of America. Back to my BBQ and sweet tea....

6:30 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

not much longer now
Current mood: nostalgic

As I lay here on a single Aerobed looking at my possessions stacked in the middle of the room, I’m feeling rather nostalgic. The Era that is NYC is drawing to a close in 7 days.  The four years I have spent here have been the most challenging of my life. I moved here to be with one woman and leaving still lamenting over another. I got a real job, paid off a lot of debt, and grew personally and spiritually. I had no idea how many friends I had here until I tried to schedule a time to see them all before I left.  Some I won’t get to see. Others I won’t get to see enough. One woman in particular I’ll miss even though I just met her (ah…the "what ifs")

This past month has been fantastic. I’ve seen two plays and quite a bit of music. I did some teaching and a few gigs. Basically it’s been like how I pictured living in NY. But my security deposit covered rent this month, so I could afford to live how NY is supposed to be lived. The bottom line is I survived here, but I didn’t thrive here. NYC and me just didn’t gel too well.

7:44 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Moving On
Current mood: pirate
Category: Life

The day has come in which I've decided to relocate back to Jacksonville, Fl. It's not such a bad place looking back on it. The weather's great, there's a beach, a football team, a good number of musicians. It's the River City by the Sea; The First Coast; The Ville with the Thrill after all. I can drive a car again and spend half my paycheck on gas. I'm looking forward to spending time with my rapidly growing daughter before she's off to college and then marriage (which will happen before my own marriage I'm convinced).

I won't miss paying $1100 for 250 sq. feet of space, mashing into the 4/5 train at rush hour, the sideways rain in the city, the number of people, cramped grocery stores (Publix here I come!), the hard-nosed corporate environment, the months of November, December, January, February and March because it's too cold and the months of July and August because it's miserably hot. But I will miss the cultural events, museums, Central Park, the opportunity to see great jazz that jazz musicians can't afford.

I'll be in NY until March 29^th. I hope to see as many as my NY friends as possible beforehand and looking forward to seeing old Jacksonville friends after.

Hey…anyone know of a job!?

2:07 PM - 5 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Decisions, decisions
Current mood: optimistic
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

What a summer. Unfortunately, it's been more work than play both professionally and emotionally. Nothing's coming easy, but it's beginning to come non-the-less. I started a new job at the end of May. I took over for an office manager at a staffing company who basically did nothing for the last six months she was here. It was quite a challenge to get everything in line again and learn the ropes with no handover. Waaa…done crying. It's been going well.

I'm also relearning how to date at 33 years old. Maybe I'm in the wrong city because I don't seem to share the same dating philosophy as most women here. I've been on an online dating site for about 6 weeks, and I've met some great girls….once. That's one time, each girl. I think I'm too genuine, open and kind for women in NY. I'm always myself, always call when I say I'm going to call and don't play games. I'm not saying I don't have my share of baggage and issues like anyone else, but they're not going to know that on the first date. J. I'm comfortable with the slow process though. It's right for me to meet different women right now, but perhaps not right for another relationship yet. I guess I'm dating myself more than anyone and that's perfectly fine.

My biggest debate inside my mind has been should I stay in NY or should I move back to Jacksonville? On one hand I pretty much know NY is not the place for me for the long term. You have to put up with a lot of shit here, and if you're not doing something that you can only do in NY, it's not worth putting up with. But I feel I haven't accomplished what I'm supposed to accomplish here quite yet. I really prefer the pace and better way of life in Jacksonville. It's more "me". I like the ocean being close and driving in the warm salty air. The most important reason to be there is to be with my 13 year old daughter and develop a better relationship with her. It's a tough thing to do when you're 1000 miles away. But I have no job prospects down there. So there's my dilemma.

All in all, life is on the upswing. I'm more optimistic than I've been in a LONG time. There's so much potential for great things to happen.

7:34 AM - 3 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Why is Honeycomb so cheap?
Current mood: confused

How can that big ass box of cereal continue to be $2.50-2.99? All other cereal has been creeping up towards the $5.00 mark. If you want something remotely healthy or you want to shit like a horse, you have to pay a little extra. Not the Honeycomb. The last box I got a few weeks ago (and I still haven't gotten through), tastes like a knockoff version. I double checked the box to make sure it didn't say "Honey Hexigons". It lacks the texture of the real stuff. I'm disappointed. But my mom taught me never to waste cereal. Too bad the Applejax are gone as of this morning.

11:28 AM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Next chapter (I think it's up to 87 now..)
Current mood: determined
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

Today I seriously got the ole ball rolling on getting a Master's in Clinical Psychology. It will have to be the online version so I can continue to work full time. Then I can go for the Doctorate full time here in NY. It's seems to be my calling, and I know I'll be great at it. I figure if I can straighten MY life out, I can help anyone! It's going to feel great to have a meaningful direction in life. Unfortunately I think I have to put the horns in the back of the closet for sometime. I don't see how I could work full time, get a degree AND still have the necessary time to put into the horn. But music will never die within me, and I will try to incorporate it in my future practice. Wish me luck or just tell me I'm absolutely insane.

11:20 AM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

I ain't gonna lie...
Current mood: hopeful
Category: Life

Yes, it's Valentine's Day and do not have that "special someone" to share it with. I can accept that. It's okay. I've certainly had some good ones in years past. But it's a tough adjustment; this being single and on your own thing. The ironic thing is I'm quite independent and self sufficient. Despite this, I've always either been in a relationship or looking for the next one. So it's different now. It's time to love and accept myself as a good human being, and not rely on a significant other to validate me. I'm learning to stand alone. I'm finding my inner strength and peace that will guide me through the rest of my life. It's come through great hardship and pain, but that's where you find your true self. 

There are things you can control and things you can't. I can't control another person's acceptance of me.  But I can control my character and the purity of my own heart. If I know they are good, that's all that matters. I can also control the decision to WANT to be happy and serene. So day by day, I wake up and make that decision.  Some days I am; some days I'm not. Life goes on and I have faith it will improve.

So God and my daughter are my Valentines dates this year, and I couldn't ask for a greater gift. Thanks to those who have opened my eyes and my world. Because of you, all things are possible. You know who you are.

Love

1:01 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment