What if we’re the crazy ones?
Category: Blogging

I found this online. Thought it would be fun to look at...

Money behind JFK hit

I smell Pulitzer!!!!

speedo

4:28 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Crack is a bad thing...
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

I was driving to work the other day. I'm not sure which day because I work nights now, and often don't know what day of the week it is. It gets hard to keep them straight when you start your day on a sunday (let's say) and end it on a monday. Anyway, I was about to turn right onto the street that would lead me into the parking garage and take me to work, when I saw several police officers wrestling a naked man to the ground (in hand cuffs).

Right in front of my job (coincidentially, I'm a county emergency room nurse)... He had socks and a hat on (one with the bill turned up) and he was screaming. Fully expecting to see him show up as a med-clearance before going off to jail, I was surprised to see that he never actually showed up, but rather an elderly black woman with eighteen layers of clothes, eating catfood and calling everyone around her, "motherfucker" in 4 point restraints and a spit hood on came through our front doors instead.

At least she wasn't naked...

6:00 AM - 9 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

a good reason to stay in touch with my friends...
Category: Blogging

read this...

9:56 AM - 20 Comments - 14 Kudos - Add Comment

LIFE AND THE PRIME DIRECTIVE. (edited&mildly expanded)
Current mood: annoyed
Category: Travel and Places

Living by the Prime Directive isn't necessarily a bad thing, if you think about it. There can sometimes be harm in interfering with more primitive life forms, and sometimes a level of harm can evolve that can damage entire bloodlines of species (or, in this case segments of the population). Entire populations can be altered, for good or bad based on my decisions.

So, then, non interference needs to become the standard by which I live for the betterment of all mankind. The responsible, prudent thing to do is to force myself to be an observer. I can choose to record and take notes, learning perhaps something more about myself in the process. Or, I could choose the ultimate example of non-interference: not even watch those around me evolving. I could hide, only to allow things to play out.

If I didn't hold myself to such a standard, then I might destroy the evolutionary process of the children sitting at tables across from me, for instance. The scrawny, screamy little balls of genetic material might be altered in some horrific way forever. Quite simply, because if I didn't live by the prime directive, I would kill them. Them and their wranglers. I mean, who gets together with a bunch of spoiled three year olds and, pushes together three tables at a quiet coffee shop and lets them eat food, drink milk and run around touching things just because these adults don't know what else to do with them?

Do I run the car next to me off the side of the road just because they cut me off? Better to let evolution take it..s own course.

No, the prime directive is there to say that these people need the chance to evolve on their own. These isolated, sheltered segments of the population need the chance to become their own society, with the hope (of course) that at some point they would become enlightened, eventually finding themselves worthy of admission into the Federation (in this case, the rest of society).

Fortunately for me, there's nothing in the Prime Directive that prevents me from judging people around me...

10:45 AM - 10 Comments - 12 Kudos - Add Comment

a diversion into my personal life
Category: Blogging

Dammit. So, here's the story: I went to a coffee shop I frequent (not the one with the retarded barista; It's a different one). Anyhoo... I found this coffee shop (actually, they call themselves a tea house), tucked away in the corner of a strip mall next to my house. I go here for two reasons... there's free WIFI and no one else goes here (leaving me with the place to myself). And, I guess I come here out of pity for the manager of the place.

Sweet deal, huh? Alas, I've made a point of coming here thinking they they might be going out of business any moment, then I would be forced to compete at the other coffee shop with free WIFI (the crowded one a few minutes up the freeway).

Today, at this empty coffee shop that I'm sitting in now, they might have given themselves the deathnail in their small, newfound business.

They stopped carrying muffins. Even chocolate ones. I might have to compete for seating at the crowded coffee shop from now on, I fear.

Well, sorry to bother people with such things.

9:58 AM - 7 Comments - 5 Kudos - Add Comment

Retarded People Shouldn't Be Making Coffee.
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

Where do I begin?

For starters, I can say that I think that the woman working behind the counter (the one who made my mocha) might be retarded. She sounds like it, and her face is structured in such a fashion that she is unable to close her mouth fully, thus it hangs open, constantly threatening the food below her sloping head with droplets of spittle. She has a low-pitched voice, and it sounds too much like she's over pronouncing things. Everything's an effort for her; even speaking. She does it slow and deliberately, as if trying to blend in with the people around her.

Trying to be normal? I think so. My first clue that there might be more to her than meets the eye was when, after taking my order (for which I smiled and thanked her for listening), she proceeded to make it. Not to be rude, (for that would be out of character for me), but at which point was I to pay for my coffee?

Perhaps, it was free; perhaps I should refuse to pay because this woman--nay--this being standing in front of me had broken the sacred order of things in the way they had been for as long as one could remember. Namely, she should have made my fucking drink after charging me for it. I was standing there, both helpless and speechless and not to mention powerless while I was deciding what to do next. I could have been setting up the laptop of which Im using now dear reader, or doing something else equally productive.

But understand that because of the incompetence of the woman standing before me tonight, I was forced in to a few moments of utter unproductivity. A vacuum, if you will, of which I was unable to do anything except stand motionless, waiting to finalize this transaction of which I had commenced only minutes ago.

Let us now fast-forward several (precious) seconds, when another woman with a normal voice and one who was able to fully close her mouth arrived to "check on things." At that moment, political correctness be dammed--I was right! This woman was in fact retarded, and this other woman must have been her caretaker, or manager. Something along those lines. Someone to wipe the shit from her ass, the spit from her face and to make sure she can make coffee drinks correctly. By correctly, I mean remembering to put the coffee in, of course.

Our transaction ended with me handing this scary woman my credit card, but not before listening to her explain that the chocolate sauce drizzled across the top of the mocha, and the dollop of foam were both there to make it look pretty.

God, I wanted to throw my drink in her face.

8:50 AM - 15 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment

Jesus Camp/worshiping pictures of the president
Current mood: scared
Category: Religion and Philosophy

I've never posted more than one blog a day (if that...) but I thought you'd all get a kick out of this. It's entertaining on the one hand, and scary on the other...

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10:42 AM - 10 Comments - 10 Kudos - Add Comment

My wife cancelled her myspace account and here's why!
Current mood: awake
Category: Romance and Relationships

I know what you're thinking: she cancelled it because I'm a jerk. It's because I posted some goofy comment on her web site. An offensive picture implying something about, say, her cooking with a caption like this:

Here's me after those cookies you made last night, baby girl!



That would have been stepping over the line. Not only that, it would be untrue. My wife can bake cookies like the best of them. I was careful to not mention anything about our love life either like, "Honey, you were great last night," because my wife's very modest and would never want such things posted in public. Even though she totally rocks in the sack, she would have had an issue with things if I'd posted a picture like this:



with a comment like, "Wasn't I great last night?" I'm far more respectful than that to my wife.

No, here's why she cancelled her myspace account. It's because of this dickhead

Here's the guy.

It's because of this guy that I have to email my wife (using her personal non-myspace email account), call her on her cell phone, or talk to her in person. I can no longer post comments on her page (saying nothing offensive, because that would be inappropriate).

And, yes, that guy is exactly who he says he is. My wife read that he had a webpage here in some magazine. At that moment, she told me, My Space officially became less cool than ever, and not something that she wanted to associated herself with.

Frankly, I dont blame her, either. Why is Greg Kinnear deserve to network with a bunch of people half his age? Its creepy, although admitadely not as creepy as Bob Saget's homepage.

And what about Diddy posting mundane aspects of his life on his myspace page? This is a man on the verge of complete obscurity, trying desperately to maintain some level of relevance. My wife is a very classy woman, and would never choose to associate herself with such things. And I applaud her for sticking to what she believes in.

10:22 AM - 12 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

9/11 tribute

So, I committed to something a few months ago, and I've decided not to follow through with it. I was supposed to write an obituary to someone who died in the world trade center. Unfortunately, I'm not such a good writer that I can euologize someone I've never met, and could find very little about on the internet. Such things are better left to people who actually knew the person, and not to someone like me.

And I refuse to sound write a blog where I sound generic and fake.

As far as 9/11 itself, I really don't have any memories about it. Well, that's not entirely true. One of the memories that sticks out in my memory happened the next day. I was listening to the Howard Stern show. Based in New York, I made a special point of listening to the show to hear first hand what it was like.

And, I'll never forget the first caller. It was Maryann (from Brooklyn) who called in, saying that someone in her family was still missing (I honestly don't remember if it was a sibling, or relative). This person was in the WTC that day, and she called in still hopeful that he was just missing. My heart sank. After watching the destruction on television, deep down inside I think I knew what had happened to him.

It brought the experience of what happened on the east coast home to me. Halfway across the country.

12:53 AM - 15 Comments - 14 Kudos - Add Comment

PAAARRRTTTYYY <<<<<33333
Current mood: bored
Category: Blogging

So, heres the thing. Im going to allow myself to become a comment whore, if only just once. In scanning the most popular blogs, Ive noticed that some of them seem to have a similar title. This title, for some reason, gives the writer hundreds and hundreds of comments. Why didn't I think of that? I wonder how many subscribers I'd have if I'd title my blogs things like, "Friday night party fun! <3," or "Party tonite!!! <<<<<333333."

Think of how many myspacers would read the wonderful, enlightening things that I have to say. I could affect the lives of so many more people, just from giving my blogs a certain title. It's a little scary and intimidating to know that such a title can hold so much power.

If I want all of myspace to know where I stand on the North Korean missile crisis, I could write a blog about it call it, "Pyongyang in da house <<<3." And then everyone would know what I had to say, not just the people that subscribe to my blog.

If you think about it, its pretty amazing.

Authors (you know, people who still use paper) should title their books in the same way. Think of how many copies The DaVinci Code would have sold if Dan Brown had called it, "~~[party at Leos hood, just dont get kilt and first person to find the chalice LOL wins :)] <3~~" Instead of a millionaire, fuck that, hed be a billionaire!!

Too bad he didn't get his start on myspace, because then hed already know what I figured out.

Anyway, back to my original though (which I mentioned in the second sentence). Because I've given this particular blog the title I did, I'm not expecting hundreds and hundreds of comments right off the bad. No, I'm a realist: I know that I need to build up and I'm willing to set the bar at a modest 125 comments for this blog. Having said that, commence commenting!!!

10:56 AM - 32 Comments - 26 Kudos - Add Comment