Lap Band - Ouch!

Well, I have had this thing going on four months now.  Since my last fill, it has been brutal.  Not going to lie, I think I am overfilled as it is painful from getting food stuck often.  It happens after like....5 bites!  I have lost 4 lbs. in a week so, can't complain I guess.  I am just eating alot more smoothies than I anticipated and have become more of a "sampler" than an eater!

12:24 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Happy (Skinny) New Year
Current mood: blessed
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

  Well folks, I have finally arrived.  My lap band surgery has been scheduled for next week and I am both excited and nervous.  Trully, I am hoping and praying not to be in much pain, but I know that the results will be worth it.  I cannot remember the last time I knew what it was to shop for clothing in the single digits, but I am looking forward to finding out.  For those of you who have been considering the lap band surgery for weight loss, try visiting the lap band forums or stay tuned.  I will tell you all I know!!  So, everyone....say a prayer for a safe surgery and rapid recovery.  May the weight loss begin!

2:28 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Lap Band Diary
Current mood: contemplative
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

I have decided for tthe first time in my, just recently turned 38yo life, to get serious about something.  I mean reeeeeally serious!  I have in the past, not been able to save and maintain more than 20 bucks in the bank after a payday.  Huge flaw, I know.  Anyway, by just recently and may I add, uneventfully turning 38, I realized how much I had let myself go.  In 2007, I am seeing the most sexy, successful and fit 40 yo women ever.  IE: Demi Moore, Sharon Stone, Michelle Piffer etc.  I am encouraged by the saying, "40 is the new 30."  Dear God, let us hope so!

  After getting out of the military and shortly after dealing with my mothers stroke, I soon began my downward spiral into emotional eating and depression.  One day, 2 years later, I looked in the mirror and am shocked by what I see....an obese, depressed, shabilly dressed woman.  Now, I must say without any conceit that I know how beautiful I am, not that a little bottox and Restalyne wouldn't help freshen me up a little *wink *but, with all of this extra flesh on my face, you would hardly notice it.  Truthfully, I think the last time I wore clothing in the single digits, I was about 12.  Depressing huh?  So, what is my plan of action you ask?  My plan is to save money for a gastric band surgery, loose a ton (literaly) of weight, go to the gym, get a skinny hard body and grow my hair down to my ass.  When I have done that, I plan on picking up James Marsters a la' Spike on Buffy the Vampire Slayer and give him a huge hickey!  Hey, a chick can dream ya know. 

  I will be posting blogs along the way, and if anyone out there has had the surgery, let me know how you are doing. 

                                  Ciao for now,

                                                         Jules

4:54 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

I Have Decided!

I have done so much research and have finally decided.............to have gastric band surgery.  I cannot tell you the stress being overweight has caused me all of my life.  It was worse while in the military as I was always afraid of getting kicked out.  I would resort to starvation while taking presription diet drugs.  I would be so sick I nearly passed out and still continued to work out.  One time in my first year in, I took laxitives and then diuretics and could have had a heart attack.  I began seeing spots and feel cold.  Man, what a sucky life that was.  I cannot even remember when I was wearing a single digit in clothing but people, I am going to be 40 in two years and enough is enough.  I am going to pull an Oprah and look better than ever by 40!  Seriously.  I am beginning to save 8500 dollars and will go to Monterrey Mexico early next year and "get er done!"  I am just tired, tired, tired.  Life is just to short and I am just to tired..........

5:42 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Awards?
Current mood: aggravated

I found out about a month or two ago, that I had won an Inland Empire Theatre award for the musical I did, Spittfire Grill.  It, for me, was a difficult musical.  There were a few times in rehearsal my voice broke during my last solo.  All that to say, what the heck do you win anyway.   I have seen the list of winners, but have yet to recieve any kind of certificate or little frieken statue or something.  Ehhh.......what's an award anyway?

5:24 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

God Knows What He Is Doing
Category: Blogging

  Seriously, God does know what he is doing!  I say this with great revelation as I knew it all along but have to admit to not trusting him.  I have heard the saying, "faith moves God" so many times but never wanted to take that leap until now.  I got out of the Navy after ten years thinking that everyone who gave me the great advice on going into the nursing program was right.  However, the one person I should have taken the advice from in the first place, I ended up ignoring.  God.  I tried so many ways to convince myself that nursing was the way to go, after all I had been a corpsman right?  I had absolutely no peace about the decision.  None.  The truth was I didn't want to be in the medical field any more.  I was burned out.  I had so many negative thoughts going through my mind which are imbarrassing to admit; thoughts like, I am not skinny, young and my hair doesn't reach my ass.  I haven't had plastic surgery, never taken dance classes and don't yet have any kind of degree.  In the midst of these thoughts that gentle voice of the holy spirit came to me and reminded me that he had not limitations but the ones I put on him.  It hit me like a ton of bricks because that is exactly what I was doing. I wondered how I would make a living, support my mother instead of believing in faith that God would take care of me. So, I decided to take that leap of faith right then and there.  I told my mother that it did not make me happy to study nursing.  I wanted to sing and act and finally felt at peace with that decision.  Once I did that, God began to move and I am so excited to see what he will do in my life.  When those negative thoughts start to plague me once again, I quickly push them away and thank him for what he has done already!

7:46 PM - 5 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

I GOT THE PART
Current mood: grateful
Category: Music

I got the part!  It still blows me away to think about my being chosen for the role of Rizzo in Grease.  It is my first semi proffessional role ever and would like to think that I am on my way.  By on my way of course I mean to success in the musical theater business.  I had been praying forever it seems once I heard about the auditions.  I must admit, it was a tad intimidating.  Some women there had past experiance, were cute, thin, young and could dance.  When we all came in, the director told us he was looking for someone to get up there and own the stage.  So, I thought to myself....I will just fake it until I make it!  If there is one thing I have confidence in, it's my God given singing voice.  So, I went up on that stage and belted it!  The dancing part however, was an entirely different story.  This girl has the grace of a hippo!  Okay, it just feels that way to me however, I definitely have rythm going for me.  Anyway, I covered my screw ups on the dance steps with a little comical improv.  I shimmied my chest like rizzo did and lifted up one of the dancers jacket whilst making some silly faces.  I guess that paid off because here I am, Rizzo.  Our first rehearsal is in two weeks and I will try to post a video of the show.  Thanks everyone for the encouragement!

Currently reading : Dispatches from the Edge : A Memoir of War, Disasters, and Survival By Anderson Cooper Release date: 23 May, 2006

9:13 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Exceptional Person
Current mood: content

Lately, I have been thinking alot about what my life is and mostly, what it is not.  I know,it's not good to be influenced by the media but I have to admit....I am.  What I mean by media is really, the media itself.  My boy, Anderson.  The more I read about the guy well... the crapier I feel about myself.  Sounds stupid right?   I had a favorite flight surgeon.  He was hilarious and so very smart.  I asked him how he met his wife and he said in college.  She was a lawyer.  Of course she was.  I noticed that all of the officers seemed to be married to intellegent and college educated woman.  I'm thinking rediculous thoughts like....you never meet a doctor who is married to a grocery store check-out clerk do you.  Yet, in our middle income life, that's not a bad gig.  Hey, it's union!  So, consequently you wouldn't expect someone as intellegent and successful as Mr. 360 to be hooked up with say...an x-ray tech.  Again, all good jobs for us middle class people.  All of this introspection has left me with the thought that, if you want to marry an exceptional person, you must first become one yourself!  The fact that I am not getting any younger and just halfway though to a BA isn't making me feel much better.  Hopefully, this isn't taken the wrong way when I say the only thing that gives me a warm fuzzy is that I know I have a talent.  I know I am a good singer and not everyone can say that.  It's was so weird, in the Navy, back when I was an E-nothing, they treated me that way.  It was as though you were insignificant, yet when it was time for graduation and I sang the National Anthem, I had several Admirals want to talk to me.  This kind of thing happend all the time.  I absolutely never let it get to my head because I know where the gift comes from, but it feels good to be treated like an exceptional person now and again!  Now, everytime I dread studying or loathe taking a test, I think of how much closer I am getting to being that exceptional woman who.....you never know, might meet her own Mr. 360.

11:07 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

First Blog Ever!
Current mood: contemplative

Well, this is the first time I have posted a blog and not sure what to start with.  I have to admit, as much as I wanted out of the Navy  after 10 years, I do miss all of my buddies.  It's kind of sad to think of how many friends I have made over the course of 10 years.  You end up having close friends and great memories from every duty station.  I have lived in Washington, Nevada, Oklahoma and Italy.  I miss alot of those nice folks I have met througout the years.  I know I would have never gone the places I have in Europe and Carribean had I not been in the military, travelling aboard ship.  Now, it is taking some getting used to as I begin college at 36 years old.  Being a corpsman, I feel that I am ahead of the game when it comes to biology.  My mother is up in her years and I am realizing that I will have to take care of her.  It's tough being single and know that fact.  I feel very much alone with the heavy burden but what do they say......it's true, your parents take care of you as a child and then the roles are reversed!  Hey, seriously...is he or isn't he?  I would cry if Anderson Cooper were gay!!  

7:26 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment