Chiming in the dawn with a crescendo of cherry scented winds in the chill of days first light with an iced cup of something or other in your lap that knew darkness with you recently, and remains with you still.That feeling when you first wake up in the morning where the idea of an enclosed and safe space where you can hear the air blowing in your ears.You keep it with you for a few moments and it goes away, the same way the memory of dreams do.
There isn't a night out there with the capacity to support the mystery and the majesty that would be necessary for me to feel like it served as a fitting backdrop for us.Not even one where random peace broke out and flowers shot out of the ground like bullets instead of good ideas, not even one where an endless maze of strawberry chapsticked lips and pigtails and perfume challenged us, not even one where the rhythm of the ocean a thousand miles from dry land stupefied us to sleep with dreams of fire trucks and red balloons.I mean it.
I had the pleasure of seeing him live just a year or so ago, at the Hermosa Beach Comedy and Magic Club. That fucker knew how to tell a joke, I can't believe he's dead. I thought he had ten more years in him at least, and at least another routine or three. George saw things differently than you and I do, he saw the humor in the dark. Guys like that don't come around all that often. I'll miss him.
Hillary Clinton is the Most Important Republican in America
Category: News and Politics
The delagate count is now stacked impossibly in favor of Obama.
It is now very nearly mathematically impossible for Hillary to win.I knew she wasn't going to win back in February, most of the country knew it in March, and now even Jimmy Carter is admitting it's impossible for her to win her party's nomination.
What she is doing is damaging the democratic candidate, and I believe she's doing it on purpose.
Rush Limbaugh launched Operation Chaos a few months ago, a bid to get republicans to temporarily switch parties to vote for Hillary so as to keep the Democrats fighting with each other instead of mounting an honest to God Presidential Campaign aimed at their real rival, Senator John McCain.
Operation Chaos seems to have worked.We know for a fact that a number of Republicans have become temporary Democrats to vote for Hillary.The only thing we don't know is the depth and the breadth of the success of the operation.
Hillary is a bitch, she feels entitled to the Presidency, and she thinks the average American voter is stupid.I knew all that ten years ago.What I didn't know ten years ago is how big of a bitch she is, how much she feels entitled to the Presidency, and precisely how retarded she thinks the average American voter is.
But Hillary is not stupid.She knows she will not win the nomination.She's banking on the idea that Barrack will win the nomination, lose to Senator McCain, and in four years that will put her in prime position to run again and win the nomination and ultimately the White House gig.She's not running against Obama in 08, she's running against McCain in 2012.That's the reason she's doing everything in her power to see to it that Obama doesn't just lose to McCain, she wants to see him lose big.Then she can come back in four years and say "See, I told he didn't have a chance.I told you I could win and he couldn't.Now you have a chance to vote for the candidate you should have voted for four years ago.Me."
I can practically hear the words coming out of her mouth in 2012.
I don't know what to call it, except bald-faced me-ism.She could care less about her party, America, democracy, or the world at large.Hillary believes in Hillary, there is now nothing else that can be said or believed.
I've been thinking a lot lately about the fact that it seems the whole world is going to hell in a hand basket. Now I don't know what a hand basket is, nor do I know why they always seem headed toward hell, let alone where on earth that saying could possibly have come from.But I DO know that I love that saying, and that the world does indeed seem to be going to hell in a hand basket.
(Disclaimer: I am not a college graduate, nor did I pay a hell of a lot of attention in high school.Or junior high school for that matter.Basically, from the time they stopped bribing you with candy for answering the most questions correctly, I pretty much stopped paying attention in school.In addition to my nearly total ignorance, I don't watch the news on television, I get most of my news from newspapers such as the nearly bankrupt and hopelessly biased Los Angeles Times, and from National Public Radio.And I haven't read a paper in about a month, and my NPR intake of late has been limited to Garrison Keiler and Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me!That having been said, here's why it seems the world is going to hell in a hand basket, and here's what I think about it.)
Gas is four bucks a gallon.We have an economy based on the idea that gas should cost about two bucks a gallon.The result is that people aren't driving as much as they should (and by should, I mean enough for the economy to function properly, meaning somewhere between four and six percent growth per year in the GNP), and they are also using money they would otherwise spend on fast food or useless gadgets, on gas.So it's not just the fact that it literally hurts to fill up your tank, it's also the fact that by the time you've filled up your tank, made your car payment, paid your car insurance, made sure you've got four properly functioning tires and bought a pack of cigarettes and a coke, you basically end up with enough money to go home and go to bed.While this is certainly a pleasurable activity, the plain fact is that while you're home in bed, you aren't out spending money and contributing to the GNP, so the growth rate slows down, which causes interest rates and inflation to rise, which causes venture capitalists to crawl back into their darkened mansions to count their money and whip their slaves, which causes small businesses to have to rely on intelligent business practices and hard work, which causes (because this is, after all, America in 2008) bankruptcy, which causes high unemployment, which burdens the government and slows the economy further, which perpetuates the cycle.
No one says please, thank you, Sir, or Ma'am.As far as I'm concerned, once these little niceties went away, the rest was soon to follow.
Paris Hilton is still a celebrity.This has caused me great confusion and grief, and only a society with its collective head so far up its ass that the head has almost popped back up out of the neck could possibly support such a fact.
I have no facts or figures to support this, but people just seem dumber than they used to.And not just a little bit dumber.I mean, like, way, way dumber than they used to.And they didn't seem all that intelligent before.But now they seem even dumber.Try this sometime: Go outside, walk somewhere, and look around.I bet you see dumb people.
We are currently involved, as a nation, in at least four wars I can think of off the top of my head.Iraq, Afghanistan, the War on Drugs, and the War on Obesity.Based on the very unscientific, negligibly informed anecdote that there seems to be no consensus on what Victory in Iraq or Afghanistan would even mean, and the clear evidence that most people are fat crack smokers, I'd say it's safe to say we're losing all four wars.Rome, by way of comparison, lost three in a row before the barbarians sacked the city.
One hundred million people voted in the last American Idol contest.That's about the same number that will vote in the next presidential election.And though no poll would ever indicate it, because people are mostly big fat liars, I suspect the truth is that most people consider American Idol far more important than American President.
A multi-national corporate conglomeration can manufacture a product in China for one dollar, while the same product if manufactured in America would cost roughly thirty six dollars.This is true for a couple of different reasons.First, Chinese laborers earn about fifty cents per year.That's tough to keep up with.Second, the reason a Chinese laborer earns fifty cents per year is that the Chinese government purchases half a trillion dollars in currency from the American government in order to keep their own currency artificially devalued.The American government is willing to sell half a trillion dollars to Communist China because it allows us to continue funding the four wars we are losing, and also because it allows us to keep our interest rates artificially low.With an artificially low interest rate, we can do all sorts of fun things, such as create a housing bubble by loaning seven hundred thousand dollars to derelict home purchasers, who then default on their mortgages and move back into motels where they belong, and then the bank can turn around and write off the loss and sell the home for two hundred thousand dollars.Of course, it's not just China.Basically, as long as the bulk of the population of a country isn't white, and presuming there isn't a large amount of oil or a maniacal dictator running things, any country on earth can manufacture anything at a tiny fraction of the cost that an American company could even dream of.The result is that America exports raw materials and imports manufactured goods.Fifty years ago, that was more or less the definition of a third world country.We're now living off the fat of our grandparents, so the pain has yet to fully set in, but when it does people are going to cry like big stupid babies and I'm going to think it's both funny and hysterically sad.
8 is broken.Not even Microsoft Word works as well as it once did.
The polar ice caps seem to be melting, which bodes ill for polar bears.It really cracks me up how television news stations like to talk about how melting polar ice caps means that one day, Florida will be covered in water.They often times even show a graphic of that famous isthmus at the southeastern tip of the country being covered by blue stuff.As though the biggest fucking problem melting polar ice caps could possibly conjure up is the destruction of Disneyworld.
Jay Leno routinely posts higher ratings than David Letterman.This is despite the fact that it has been scientifically proven that Jay Leno actually reduces the amount of humor in a room, and that David Letterman is in fact the funniest human being alive.(See number four on this list.)
I was Jumped by Abraham Lincoln and his Dumb Friends
Category: News and Politics
We drove up the driveway and I surveyed the parked vehicles, and sure enough I saw the truck I was looking for.It belonged to Abraham Lincoln.He was a couple of years behind me in school, and though we ran in different circles, we had just enough odd connections that we were each a blip on the other’s radar.He was the cousin of a good fried of mine, and he rode the same bus I did, though I can’t recall ever having spoken to him, other than some good natured ribbing I delivered after besting him in a weird face slapping game the kids who sat in the back used to play.
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A couple of weeks prior to the party I had been at a different party, one of an entirely different nature.We’d been drinking and smoking grass since earlier that morning, and things had really kicked into fifth gear by the time the sun was going down.A friend of mine had caught a couple of Lamprey Eels in a nearby pond, and we had caged the fuckers, they were floating in one of those horrible plastic swimming pools you sometimes find in the backyard of middle class suburban homes.
The men were taking turns dangling the women over the diving board and miming like they were going to throw them to the Eels.The girls were shrieking of course and it was a lot of fun.
Abe Lincoln’s sister had been there for some reason, and she’d been the nearest female when it seemed like my turn to join in.I grabbed her by the shoulders and hoisted her up over the platform, and I only meant to wave her around and bounce for a minute or two, but she reached up and tried to fishhook my eye with her index finger.I panicked and ended up dropping her.
Someone fished her out and threw a blanket over her, and my eye was fine, so I figured it was all in good fun and passed out in the bed of someone’s truck.The next morning a few of us were talking and smoking cigarettes when someone’s cell phone rang.It was Abraham Lincoln, and he was pissed.Apparently his sister had run straight home later that night and recounted the whole story, and it sounded to me like she’d thrown in a few extra details here and there, but hell, I’d been pretty drunk, so who could really say.
We all thought it was a lot of fun and someone handed me the phone.I was still groggy from my hangover and not yet drunk enough to manage an intelligent conversation, so I ended up uttering a probably incomprehensible string of curses and threats at Abe.I’ll never know exactly what was said between the two of us, because try as I might I just can’t recall, but I do distinctly remember having called his sister a whore and suggesting she’d paid me to make a spectacle of her.
A few days later I learned that Abe was telling everyone who would listen that he planned to bring the hammer down next time he saw me.Someone said he had bought a rifle.
So that’s the reason I was scanning the driveway for his truck when we pulled up to the house.I knew he was here, and it looked like a fair number of his friends were with him.The few drunken words we’d exchanged seemed like a distant memory, so I thought with a little luck we could end up laughing the whole thing off.Hindsight being twenty twenty I should have just gone home, but some part of me believed instinctively that this was a can of worms I was going to have to open sooner or later.Abe showed up at too many of the same places I haunted in those days to avoid the bastard forever. He needed to be dealt with.
I was standing in the backyard with a few other guys gathered around a firepit when Abe and his posse walked up.I muttered something about it being a fancy meeting him here, but before the words left my mouth I felt a crashing in the side of my face and I hit the concrete.I was being swarmed by the bastards.They were kicking and punching and generally making a mess of me. Somehow I managed to pull myself together and make a run for it, a dead sprint through the backyard and up a path than ran around to the front of the house where my car was parked. There was a gate that separated the two areas, and that’s where they caught me.
By now they were emboldened, and were screaming encouragements at each other. The possibility of losing consciousness was very real, and I began to wonder what kind of shape this was going to leave me in. I’d lost at least two teeth, and I suspected an earlier blow had cracked a rib. The thought occurred to me that all it was going to take was for a boot heal to connect at just the wrong spot on my skull, and pieces of bone might end up bouncing around in my cranium and killing me. I freaked out a little bit and bit one of them, then rose and kicked another in the nuts.
The gate flew open and I was in my car and on the road.
It seems to me that there are a million little sayings in the English language whose sole purpose for existence seems to be making people feel better about things that suck.
For example, as I’ve said quite recently, when life hands you lemons, you can make lemonaide if you wish, but it’s going to taste pretty shitty unless life hands you some sugar too.
People love to say everything happens for a reason. But it doesn’t. And if it does, you can’t know what the reason is or who intended it or why they intended it, and you can’t know if you screwed it up when it happened and its vanity to assume you made the right choice in that regard just because you feel good about it, because that’s vanity of vanities.
People also love to say what goes around comes around. That’s just a weird way of saying that if you plant corn seeds, you’re going to get corn, and if you plant shit seeds, sooner or later you’re going to get some shit. But you can plant corn seeds and then move far way and never see the corn that grows, so it doesn’t fucking work does it. People get away with shit all the time, and people get tastes of their own medicine all the time, and there’s no reasonable accounting for it.
Try this.
Differentiate between things that happen, and things that happen because of a specific reason. Weather happens. But cans fall off tables when you push them, no? Life and death happens. But sometimes people die because they got into a car and then the car crashes into a brick wall. So that didn’t happen, it happened because the driver wasn’t paying attention. Dig? Don’t dismiss this, give it a chance.
Racism happens. A jew being gassed in Sobibor happens because Adolf Hitler rose to power and decided to exterminate jews in gas ovens. Ok, so racism happens, but people make choices and do specific things at specific times in specific places, so the holocaust didn’t happen because of racism. It happened because Adolf Hitler rose to power and decided to exterminate jews in gas ovens.
Is this doing anything for you?
Try this. Blogs happen. But this blog was written because I couldn’t sleep and was up late and felt like blathering, and had a laptop nearby, and couldn’t think of anything good to read about on the internet, and I’ve been thinking today about how people repeat things to make themselves feel better about things they don’t understand or can’t control. So that’s the reason you’re reading this. You are not reading this because people write blogs. Though they do. You are reading this for the above mentioned reasons. An infinity of circumstances had to come together for you to be reading this at this exact moment. Life had to happen. Earth had to happen. Computers had to happen. There were millions of sperm that could have been you, but the one that landed on the egg became you, and now you’re here reading this, and the same is true of me, so the probability of this every happening is so low that it’s almost ridiculous to think that this could be happening right now. But it is. And it didn’t happen because people write blogs and people read them.
Any sense there?
If you throw a tennis ball at a door, at some point between the time the tennis ball leaves your hand and the time it hits the door, it will reach the halfway point between your hand and the door. And then at some point, it will reach the halfway point between the halfway point and the door. And so on. Till infinity. There is never a point in time when the distance between the tennis ball and the door does not have a halfway point. Never. There is always a halfway point between the tennis ball and the door. So the tennis ball has to pass through an infinite number of halves to reach the door. That is empiracly true. But since infinity is infinity, the ball should never reach the door. But it does. So you see what I mean. The ball doesn’t reach the door because bouncing happens. The ball reaches the door because you threw it at the door. Specific actions have specific effects, localized to time and place and distance and velocity. It’s trippy but it’s not arguable if you subscribe to linear logic.
So don’t say shit happens. Please don’t ever say it again. It’s a lie. It’s a superstition we tell ourselves so that we don’t have to admit that we have a lot more power than we’d like to affect change, so the implication is that we have some responsibility to go with it, and it’s up to us to decide the extent of the responsibility and gauge the power we weild. Everyting else is a lie.
Operation Dour Enemies to our Doorstep is part of an (endless) series of anti-terror hoaxes being perpetrated against the American people for the purposes of taking our individual liberties, making a mockery of the Constitution of the United States of America, and (oddly) re-instituting a mock curfew.
The mock curfew will begin each night at nine, by which time all women will be required to be registered with state and local authorities and in doors, preferably (it is stated) in bed and either sleeping or headed in that direction.The use of electromagnetic waves will be rampant, and my secretary (a Filipina) was part of the pilot testing program.
It goes without saying that my pending civil suit (for ten million dollars) will be settled out of court, however at this time I would also like to bring to light new information.
I was tied to a post by the FBI, whose agents then threw a pack of ravenous and crazed weasels at me.The weasels had been malnourished and improperly measured.My flesh was ripped asunder.
My apartment was broken into (a midnight sting) and my CD collection was rifled through.
I was tricked by the FBI into believing that it was all for my own good.
I was tackled by an agent of the FBI at an airport and had my baggage seized, implying I was trafficking in international narcotics (an obvious smear campaign) and taken for granted by the family jewels.
My secretary (a Filipina) was electromagnetically manipulated by the Katherine T. Macarthur Foundation into believing I was caught smuggling sixty kilograms of uncut cocaine into US territories from points asunder (Virgin Islands) and taken into custody at that time.I have not seen her in ten weeks time, and when last I heard, she was being held (without bail) at a police brutality headquarters where she was being horsewhipped and forced to eat an odd concoction of spices and fruit that the FBI believes will act as a truth serum.
In short, I will need as much support from my friends and neighbors as I can muster, no man is an island.I am attempting to rally a support group to act as a strike force on the fifteenth of April, 2008.If you have military or police training, know how to handle a weapon, or have knowledge of anti-surface-to-air ballistic daisy cutting machinery (or the repair thereof) I would seek your assistance in the most gravest of manners.
Needless to say, my secretary (a Filipina) needs to be rescued and I will stop at nothing short of unconditional surrender.
ISSUE: Women were tortured into performing sex acts [here in Orange County] with the use of Electromagnetic Waves and driven to suicide [in an attempt to obstruct justice] thru the use of Electromagnetic weapons. These women are listed in the arbitraries [07/06/05/04 and possibly earlier]. Telltale signs that they were EMF victims are such that they appeared to be talking to themselves before they committed suicide.
The investigation was brought to a halt when it was determined that senior officials were involved in this scandal, including Irvine Company Senior Vice President. E. VALJEAN WHEELER, and FBI Director Robert Mueller – he is one of the rapists. Mueller was an Associate US Attorney in San Francisco before he became Director. Some officials are attempting to make this a part of the family jewels. For this reason, a special prosecutor has not been appointed. It should be noted that there were attempts to drive my secretary [a Filipina] to suicide as well. Thus, I wish to initiate a class action lawsuit.
In short, my secretary was raped by a federal agent and employees of the Irvine Company; my neighbors [also Federal agents] pumped a gas into my apartment; and I have been assaulted [a police brutality matter] by way of electromagnetic weapons.
In an attempt to correct this serious miscarriage of justice, I was supposed to work at the United States Attorney's Office [Long Beach] -- they were going to send me to school. But now [after having been continuously harassed], I don't want to work for any government agency and I don't want to be in politics.
• I don't care about a Presidential Pardon; • I don't need an apology; and • I don't need to torture the individuals who tortured me;
Instead, I will not accept anything less than 10 million dollars by way of an out of court settlement. It should also be noted that my secretary was tortured into performing oral sex to a number of key officials here in Orange County, in an attempt to circumvent me from working at the US Attorney's office by increasing the conspiracy circle. I call for the appointment of a special prosecutor.
It's most appropriate that I ONLY work with Justice Department Officials in Washington DC.
It should also be noted that some women are abducted and taken to black sites.
In reference to the matter, I have composed the following memo to my representative.
Dear Congressman/Senator:
RE: MY SECRETARY WAS RAPED BY AN ANTI-TERRORISM TASKFORCE [FBI] OFFICIAL; 1. I RESPECTFULLY REQUEST THE IMMEDIATE APPOINTMENT OF A SPECIAL PROSECUTOR ON OSTRUCTION OF JUSTICE CHARGES; 2. RESPECTIVE AGENTS INVOLVED SHOULD BE DENIED ACCESS TO ELECTROMAGNETIC WEAPONS AND PLACED ON ADMINISTRATIVE LEAVE PENDING THE APPOINTMENT; AND 3. THESE AGENTS ARE ENDANGERING THE PUBLIC -- MANDATORY IMRISONMENT IS CRITICAL. My name is John Class and I need assistance from your office. Specifically, I need to determine the names of [Anti-Terrorism Taskforce [FBI]] agents who are actively engaged in direct obstruction of justice thru the torture of electromagnetic weapons. This matter is significant and would justify your efforts. In short, my secretary was raped by a terrorism taskforce agent and coerced into performing sex acts -- thru the use of electromagnetic weapons. The Irvine Company and several of it's corporate affiliates are confirmed to be involved, possibly as the authors of the plot.
Filipinas were targeted here in the Orange County area probably because they met the demographics: no family ties in this country; gullible, programmable. Several of them were driven to suicide after being used as sex slaves. The cable Filipino channel aired an 800 number asking for information pertaining to the numerous suicides.
Since I reported this matter to the FBI office in San Francisco [and spoke to their Duty Agents], the individual who raped my secretary [and/or his colleagues] were instrumental in attempting to drive my secretary and I to suicide thru the use of these Electromagnetic weapons. These individuals have a motive. It should be noted that this, in itself, constitutes obstruction of justice. I wish to name victims who were either harassed or tortured thru the use of Electromagnetic weapons:
I wish to also provide references who have information to the matter at hand.
Currently
listening
:
Rocket to Russia
By
The Ramones
Release date: 19 June, 2001
Today was my last day in Long Beach. I'm leaving it for less green pastures.
I was planning on saying a few things about what I liked about Long Beach, and there are many things I like about Long Beach, but I twisted my neck yesterday and it hurts so bad I can't think about anything else.
I can't turn my head more than a quarter of an inch to the right. You'd be surprised how hindering that is. I'm surprised.
I could die from the pain, so if I do, it's been nice knowing you all.
