Stomach, May I Have A Word With You?
Current mood: sleepysleepysleepy
So, last week i reported that my stomach had been acting up. Well, it appears to have crapped out on me completely. After a scary, scary night in the emergency room, i learned that it was not my appendix, gall bladder, or other intricate organs, (thank whatever gods there be for that!) but the ER docs were stumped, and have referred me to a fancy-pants belly specialist in the 'burbs. He can't see me until next Thursday, so in the meantime i eat only bland (read: boring) food and Cope. i still hurt, damn it. Nothing life-threatening but still Ungood.
Meantime, managed to have a lovely weekend anyway. Rob, Ross & i all went to the local Rib-Fest and sampled luscious pig meats and 25-year-old scotch all day Saturday, then went to see Burn After Reading, which was good but left us with an all-pervading sense of What The Fuck?? After which we treated ourselves to the musical stylings of Wedding Banned, and got home after 3 am. i may be getting too old for this, but it was Good Fun.
Am gearing up for lots of creative work in the coming months; the lovely Mizz Buddy and i are set to start painting a multi-room mural next week, for one of Chicago's finer day-care centers. (Of all places...!) Rob has written a childrens' book about pirates that needs illustrating, and i finally received the first piece of a friend's drum kit, which is supposed to be painted with, in his words, "wizards and dragons and shit!" All that, on top of Skool!, work, and trying to keep up with my boy/family means busy, busy times for the artgirl.
More updates as events warrant.
Currently
reading
:
In Cold Blood
By
Truman Capote
Release date: 2006-01-03
Last Saturday, Rob, Buds & i had to take a bartending class, as the fine State of Illinois now requires anyone working beer tents at festivals to be licensed in dispensing beer. i argued that the fact of my Wisconsin birth automatically qualified me, but the State was not having it. The class was not too boring, as it was taught by Rob's Dad, who does not fuck around. Also, i had to interpret the whole thing into American Sign Language for Buddy. Six hours of interpreting...now i understand why she usually has two interpreters, who switch off every 20 minutes or so. My hand cramps have hand cramps. But it was good practice, as i intend to take the Interpreter Licensing Tests in a few months or so.
Sunday, we braved the apocalyptic rain in the name of literature. It was the last day of the local library's book fair, which meant everything was half-price. Glory! My method of book-shopping at this event has not varied in four years: Get bag, fill bag, then fill arms. When arms are full, i am done. Came home with some lovely things, books on indoor gardening, books on snow monkeys and books on the Antichrist, and an autographed copy of Jack Hanna's "Monkeys on the Interstate." i am an absolute sucker for anything with monkeys in it. Serve me dogshit on a platter, tell me that a monkey made it, and i'll eat it up. This will be my downfall, one day. Just you wait.
Midweek my back and my stomach gave out on me. i have missed two days of classes and one day of work, to which i say Crap crap crap. (Also: What the hell have i been eating?!) Ungood. But i must heal, and so Rob sends me funny things in the email and makes sure i'm comfortable. He is a good Nurse.
Last night our nephew came into town, and we went boot-shopping with him. Cute little guy. Tomorrow he is the ring-bearer ("ring bear") in a black tie wedding. i am nervous about this thing (actually had an anxiety dream about it last night) because i am not a Black Tie Girl. Dressed up, i feel like nothing so much as a turkey with a feather-duster on its butt, trying to pass itself off as a peacock. But my Boy will be there in his kilt, which is infinitely sexy. So there's my real motivation for going, Dear Readers. The exposed man-flesh of his fabulous legs. (Also, tomorrow is International Scream Like An Angry Freak Day, which makes me giggle and makes Rob fear for my good behavior...and sanity?)
One surreal evening a few years ago, i was in Atlanta, at the Clermont Lounge, a bar Where Old Strippers Go To Die. It was, of all things, Karaoke Night, and a man bearing a strong resemblance to the Disney character 'Goofy' was belting out Honkey Tonk Women ("Hoooooooooonky-tonk wimmin!") at the top of his lungs while a lovely lady named Mercedes danced.
A rather large southern gentleman in his mid-50s had been eyeing me most of the night, and finally bellied up to the bar beside me and offered the following proposition.
"Baby, i been watchin' yew all night an' honey-chile, i could just wrap yew up! No no, lissen: i got me a house up in Greenville, South Carolina, and i got me some land too. Yew kin come and live with me and baby, we don't got to git married, nor have kids, nor nothin'! Honey, yew come wit' me and...and...and baby, yew kin drive my Bronco all yew want to!!"
Somehow, i called upon a deeply repressed well of strength and womanly reserve, and politely declined.
Dendrobiums are orchids that grow in clusters on tall canes. These are my first orchids, and are quite possibly the most gorgeous things to ever grace my bedroom. (sorry, Rob.)
The word 'orchid' comes from the Greek, 'orchis,' meaning testicle. Yes. Look it up. (Because of the round, bulbous shape of the root.) I find this randomly hilarious, as when i pass that little place off the Brown Line called the Orchid Cafe. It is also appropriate, as plants are only interested in one thing: reproduction. Dirty, filthy-minded plants! i am on to you!
Got an e-mail from the folks yesterday, containing the joyful news of my Dad's hunting success!
My Dad is the big hairy one on the left. On the right is Dinner, also known as a Wisconsin Black Bear. They don't grow too large, about 180-200 lbs is average, (which is smaller than my paterfamilias, Dear Readers), but oh so tasty.
i am pleased. and Dad's timing is good, as i recently cleaned him out of savory bear chops from last year's hunt.
this morning at 5:30, a car alarm went off just outside our windows. it was relentless. after a few moments, i got up and dug out my industrial-sized family pack of earplugs, the sunny orange-colored ones. Rob can sleep through anything, tho' he distinctly remembers me cursing and expressing a strong desire to throw a rock through the car's windshield, "to give it something to honk about!" and i would have, too, had the vehicle in question not been the property of the Nice Neighbors, the middle-aged couple with the little girl who's just learning to walk.
Anyway.
It rained today, all day, a torrent that began late last night and has not let up for nearly twenty-four hours. i battled with it today on my long walk to work, angling my umbrella to block the wind. wound up soaked to the knees, but only slightly damp up top.
it is a warm, summer rain, the kind that makes your hair curl and your body sweat. i liked watching the couples under umbrellas, the pairs of people who shared their rain-gear. some were friends, some were dating, some were total strangers who teamed up against the elements, warm and steaming in that sweetly intimate space.
Now i'm curled up in Rob's dry clothes, listening to him breathe deeply in the next room, barely audible over the storm.
So. Just got home from work, followed by my evening painting class. It looks to be exhausting; lots of writing on top of lots of painting. And that's okay. For now.
i feel you should know that i share this class with two Koreans, one unfortunate-faced Glaswegian, and a guy from South Carolina named Biff.
Biff. Honest to God. i'd call him I Bifficus, but he may be a bit too young to get the reference. He's forfucksake nine years younger than me.
Things...and Other Things
Current mood: barely awake
Rob took me home this weekend, to pack up a few forgotten things and to see my former pre-school teacher get married.
Miss Elaine (i'm sure she has a last name, but i've never used it) is 69 years old, her new husband is 68. They are both widowed--Miss E beat horrible cancer ten years ago, only to have her first husband die of it a year or three later. i'm glad she's found someone. (They are like teenagers in puppy love, and i usually don't cry at weddings, but oh jeez...)
Now. Back to the City. Art Skool! has started again. There is not enough coffee in the world.
Bibliophilia and Other Delights
Current mood: yes we can
My Summer Booklist
1: Anne Llewellyn Barstow, "Witchcraze: A New History of the European Witch Hunts" 2: David Cordingly, "Under the Black Flag: The Romance and Reality of Life Among the Pirates" 3: P. Novobatzky & A. Shea, "Depraved and Insulting English" 4: George Orwell, "Animal Farm" (re-read) 5: Sidney W Mintz, "Sweetness and Power: The Place of Sugar in Modern History" 6: Roald Dahl, "The Umbrella Man & Other Stories" 7: Judith Flanders, "Inside the Victorian Home" 8: Michelle Tea & Laurenn McCubbin, "Rent Girl" (re-read) 9: Sara Gruen, "Water for Elephants" 10: Louise Erdritch, "The Master Butcher's Singing Club" (re-read) 11: Robin Wright, "Dreams and Shadows: The Future of the Middle East" 12: John Berendt, "City of Falling Angels" 13: Christopher Corbett, "Orphans Preferred: the Twisted Truth & Lasting Legend of the Pony Express" 14: Coleman Barks, "The Soul of Rumi" 15: Cihan Okuyucu, "Rumi: Biography and Message" 16: Bishop John Shelby Spong, "Rescuing the Bible from Fundamentalism" 17: Lewis Nordan, "Wolf Whistle" 18: Malachy McCourt, "A Monk Swimming" 19: Henry Golde, "Ragdolls" 20: Wagner & Locke, "A History of Violence" (re-read) 21: John Irving, "A Prayer for Owen Meany" 22: Alister McGrath, "Christianity's Dangerous Idea: The Protestant Revolution" 23: Thos. L Thompson, "The Messiah Myth: The Near Eastern Roots of jesus and David" 24: John Krakauer, "Into Thin Air" 25: Nelson DeMille, "Night Fall" 26: Tim O'Brien, "Going After Cacciatto" (re-read) 27: David Starkey, "Elizabeth: the Struggle for the Throne" 28: Paul M Barrett, "American Islam" 29: Ayaan Hirsi Ali, "Infidel" 30: Erik Larson, "The Devil in the White City" (re-read) 31: Jean M Auel, "the Shelters of Stone" 32: Ray Bradbury, "The October Country" 33: Ralph Helfer, "Modoc" 34: Margaret Atwood, "Wilderness Tips" 35: Bullfinch's "Mythology" 36: St Thos Aquinas, "on Human Nature" 37: Ray Bradbury, "The Illustrated Man" 38: Hunter S Thompson, "the Great Shark Hunt" 39: Anita Diamant, "The Red Tent" 40: Nelson DeMille, "Wild Fire" 41: HH Dalai Lama, "My Land, My People" 42: A Manette Ansay, "Vinegar Hill" 43: Benedikt Taschen, "The High Middle Ages in Germany" 44: Eddie Bunker, "Dog Eat Dog" (re-read) 45: Raymond Chandler, "The Long Goodbye" 46: Raymond Chandler, Omnibus 47: BA Botkin, "A Treasury of Western Folklore" 48: Kirkpatrick Sale, "The Conquest of Paradise: Christopher Columbus & the Columbian Legacy" 49: Raymond Carver, "Where i'm Calling from & Other Stories" 50: Raymond Carver, "Cathedral & Other Stories" 51: Karen Armstrong, "The Spiral Staircase" 52: Geraldine Brooks, "Nine Parts of Desire: The Hidden World of Islamic Women" 53: Geoffrey Robertson, "The Tyrannicide Brief" 54: Paula Sharp, "Crows Over a Wheatfield" 55: Mark Twain, "Complete Short Stories" 56: Ingrid Mattson, "the Story of the Qur'an" 57: Seyyed Hossein Nasr, "The Garden of Truth: Vision & Promise of Sufism, Islam's Mystical Tradition" 58: HL Mencken, "In Defense of Women" 59: Charlotte Perkins Gilman, "Herland and other Stories" 60: Wm Peter Blatty, "Legion"
*Deep breath* There were probably some other books as well, but that's what i have written down. So, anyone else read anything good this summer?
