Random thoughts....long read lol
Current mood: depressed
Category: Life
The things that we do in this life are always going to be questioned by everyone. Its up to us whether to choose to move on or to just take things as they are. I dont know where im going with this but i needed to get that thought out there.
Now whats on my mind...
Well for starters im going to turn 20 in 3 days wow. I still remember when i was a young kid who was a bigger punk than i am right now. My thoughts on that are like werd. Age is just a number they say. Maybe i guess its how you act i take it. If that then i guess im somewhere between 17 and 19 lol. Meh i guess it just really bothers me that im not where i wanted to be @ age 20 its more of a disappointment than anything. *....."If.... i... could.... would.... you? ..."*...random thought lol Why a disappointment you say because you just look back at life and you say FUCK... wow all that time spent doing this or this..... more on that later in the blog series
Lastly I look at how this year is ending and its been a rough year. I think this year ive lost more friends that i even met lol. Its just bothersome on how some friendships you think will last and through trials and tribulations you just grow apart from those people and you just learn to accept it(well i do). I mean sometimes you dont try to salvage the friendship because you dont think that its worth it.
Friends are something that people take for granted. Friends are supposed to be there for you. There supposed to be your shoulder to cry on. "Friends" are "supposed" to do a lot of things. Just because there supposed to doesnt mean they have to. The actual word is used so many times when it shouldnt . here is a brief description from wikipedia what friendship is.
Friendship is a term used to denote co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more beings. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, and affection and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis. Friends will welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of altruism. Their tastes will usually be similar and may converge, and they will share enjoyable activities. They will also engage in mutually helping behavior, such as exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors. Yet for many, friendship is nothing more than the trust that someone or something will not harm them.
Value that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating the following on a consistent basis:
* the tendency to desire what is best for the other, * sympathy and empathy, * honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth, especially in terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one's counterpart * mutual understanding.
In a comparison of personal relationships, friendship is considered to be closer than association, although there is a range of degrees of intimacy in both friendships and associations. Friendship and association can be thought of as spanning across the same continuum.
There is a big difference what a friend is and an associate. Do you go to an associate for advice or to a friend? An associate would be someone who you associate with like "yeah i hang out with that guy when i go out" but the association doesnt go past that. Like the above mentioned. Think about who you call your friends and who would call a friend and turns out they are an associate.....why? Because this is where misconceptions of friendship come out of. You think that someone is your friend or vice versa and when the time comes to be a friend from either side it wont happen because of the way you associate yourself with that person.
Now if your still reading your asking yourself what does this have to do with me(Jose the guy who is writing this) well because i look back and i had a misconception of what friendship between me and a bunch of people and now that there gone or not "friends" i look back because i didnt realize that we werent friends we were only associates or whatever you want to call it that's i what ended the so called friendship when in acutallity there could of been one if either one of us wanted to pursue it......ehhhh tired probly doesnt make sense to you guys lol but just had to get it out there.
Much love and thanks for reading my blog more to come and hopefully more upbeat lol
Currently
playing
:
World of Goo Release date: 2008-10-12
The Draw Of José "Ace" B. In the Hand of Life Part 1
Current mood: contemplative
Category: Life
Ok so I have a few things on my mind which i need to express this first part though is Not mine its Greg's(except the image) so im giving credit where credit is due.
My Name is José (my name always has the accent though on computers its hard to type it all the time)
born: 12/06/1988 (older than Greg though i dont act like it
im Mexican
im overweight by a good amount of pounds
Born in Mexico came here in 93 lived in LA til 95 then on to Baldwin park till 99 the after that moved to La Puente till 02 (i think) where i live now in Bloomington
ive been here since.....and i couldnt have been happier
nick names: that annoying guy (lorena lol) ,Ace, jose, Pepe (the fam), Snake, and Rorsharch
status: single.....19yrs strong and going on to 20(ouch)
fact: i like greg have never had a girlfriend, shocking? no not really lol.
School: none Yet but i have my eye on a community college (dont want to end up a loser teaching kids to play basketball and not have a diploma although i have mine *flashes*)
Major: If i go to college No WHEN i got Collge it will probly be 3D graphic design
family: 2 Lil bros , 1 step sis, 1 older Step Bro, My mom is with my Step dad
i am the oldest of my brothers (not including Step)
Car: none i walk everywhere
hobbies: living,comuters, myspace, text(when i had a phone), reading, blogging, write, talking, Surfing...the Internet, messing with computers and building them
positive thinker yet paranoid at times
lover not a fighter
Success never seems to find me at the right time
and what i mean by success.....more on that further in this series
So whats been on my Mind
Well it seems that after i have moved again this time i lost some possessions very dear to me they meant the world to me and those things were: My Zune, and my Computer
To the Normal person those might sound like normal things that a regular Teenager might have but its the story on how i acquired them that makes them worth something to me.
I got my Zune from a friend whose computer i fixed and he had his Zune and the screen was cracked and i got from him for free for fixing his computer. I then proceeded to fix the Zune and i got it back up and running and it became my most prized possession along with my computer. Lol maybe it was that this was the first thing i worked for and successfully got on my own but just having that made me so happy.
My computer on the other hand I've had for so long i remember when it was really slow i mean i worked so hard to upgrade it and make it faster i mean it was fast but not the fastest thing out there but it was fast enough because I MADE it that way i poured a lot into that computer and now everything i put into it is gone along with my zune because of someone who i thought was my friend because of his greed.
Now the thing that stuck in my mind was how i gave them up without a fight i mean i let them go so easily that they must of not meant that much to me right? Yes and no. Yes because in the end i figured that these are just material possessions and they don't define me. No because i decided to be the bigger person and let things go i could of held a grudge but no i hold no ill feelings to that person.
Why? you may ask. The things you own end up owning you in the end. And i can always get new things. This just helped me discover who my true friends were. And that was Greg.
Ive know Greg since 2nd semester sophmore year in High School. But we didnt really start bonding and connecting till Films Studies class which i forget what year it was. I think it was Junior year. Greg remembers. And Senior year well that was THE year where things just clicked. But see Greg has always been there for me as a friend and in my deepest darkest hour he was there to be my light and i thank him for that . While others were to busy talking to others to try to gain something for themselves Greg was there. hes Always been there . Probly will always be.
heres a quote From Fight Club a movie that has heavily influenced the way i think.
You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. We are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.
In ways its true you cant let the things around you define you. You define yourself. You are who you make yourself to be. If you drop out of high school and go around and cheat on your girlfriends you make yourself out to be a a bad person. This is where peoples opinion come from , your actions, actions speak louder than words they say and its true.Beleive me i would know peoples opinion of me is low because of some of the stupid things i do and their opinion of me is so low the only way to bring it up is through my actions. More on that in the next blog. What you do now echoes a lifetime from now.
This was just bothering me so i needed to get it down so yeah tell me what you think More to come in the future along with the IM A MARVEL IM A DC SEASON 2 for those who want to know i will be posting it again
Currently
reading
:
Watchmen
By
Alan Moore
Release date: 1995-04-01
YEAH ASIDE FROM THE USUAL THIS ONE IS EXTRA SPECIAL ITS LONGER SO YEAH ANY NEWCOMERS TO THE BLOG GO BACK AND WATCH ALL THE EPISODES SO YOU CAN CATCH UP AND ENJOY
depressed
contemplative
betrayed
chipper
exanimate
busy
