away message
Current mood: pensive

i love you guys a lot, but I need a break for a bit while i figure some stuff out. 

instead of staring at my cold, dark blog, feel free to go outside and play in the sun.

i'll be back someday (i promise), but probably not for a while.

thanks for understanding,
xo <3 jude

Currently listening : Broken Boy Soldiers By The Raconteurs Release date: 16 May, 2006

5:17 AM - 127 Comments - 182 Kudos - Add Comment

clap your hands say yeah
Current mood: hopeful

my second album is done!  woo!!1!1!  it's done! 

things got a little hectic there at the end (maybe "hectic" isn't the right word... chaotic? complicated? mind-melting?), but now everything's finally recorded and the track list is set. 

And you know what? this might sound weird for me to say, but I think it's kinda good. It's been a very long road, but i'm happy with the end result.  and what's maybe more important, my producers are happy with it.  And soon, we'll find out the most important thing -- what the rest of the world thinks.  Will anybody buy it? Will it show up on the charts? Will I get to do another tour? Will anything in my life ever settle down, or is this crazy high speed insanity going to keep right on going?

Seeing Mason's tour bus all ready to go was so weird, because I feel like the craziness of my last tour never quite ended.  Things just keep moving faster and faster. Why isn't there a speed limit on life? i feel like I barely have time to eat/sleep/breathe, but yet i'm racing through every day writing and recording songs that force me to deal with all kinds of emotional stuff that I've maybe kept locked up inside for too long.

But maybe things are about to chill out.  Maybe now that the album's done, I'll get to relax and be happy for a bit, and figure out what i want to go after next.  Tell me that's not too much to ask? Maybe things are just about to get awesome, love-wise and life-wise and music-wise.

full of hope (and full of chai),

xo <3 jude

Currently listening : Show Your Bones By Yeah Yeah Yeahs Release date: 28 March, 2006

10:42 AM - 78 Comments - 148 Kudos - Add Comment

sing
Current mood: contemplative

whenever i feel like things are falling apart, and that i can't possibly fix them, it helps if i pick up my guitar.  It doesn't matter if i'm in a basement or at an open mic night or on a big stage.  It doesn't matter if I'm alone or there are hundreds of people listening.  If I have my guitar and my voice, I can sing about love and anger and hope and sadness.  And usually, somehow, it helps.  I sing and I feel better.

Sometimes writing new lyrics helps me think things through, so maybe it makes sense that singing clears my head.  But sometimes any song helps, even other people's stuff.

I know a song can't really fix anything, aside from maybe calming me down a little.  It's just a song, you know?  I wish I could sing and actually change things.  I wish I knew the right notes to make everyone get along, or the right chord to take away my problems.  I wish if I put the right words with the right tune, everything would suddenly make sense.

I wish I could sing my family happy... all of us happy at once in our own different ways, with no fighting.

I wish I could sing my way to graduation.

I wish I could sing away my bills and all that money stuff.

I wish I could sing my album done.   

Oh, wait. I guess I can fix that last one by singing...  And if I don't sing, it's never going to happen. I better get to the studio.

xo <3 jude

Currently listening : Yes Virginia (Dig) By Dresden Dolls Release date: 18 April, 2006

11:30 AM - 64 Comments - 113 Kudos - Add Comment

rock 'n roll high school
Current mood: artistic

Sometimes I wish that combining school with a music career were as "fun fun" as it looks in this video. 

Maybe that's what class was like for the Ramones, but in my experience, the average school day involves less rock and more stress...less eraser throwing and more worrying about my next album and whether I'm going to be muddy and naked on the cover.  (please... no mud. I'm not Shakira.)

Oh, you know who rocks harder than the Ramones, by the way? The kids of Sir John Reid Public School.  I'm not around kids a lot, and sometimes I forget how totally freakin' great they are. Even if they act all grown up and serious, they're not just tiny adults. They're these awesome creative little voices, and it's up to all of us older people to encourage them as much as we can, because otherwise they'll give up and stop trying and all the music of the future will suck.

This blog entry goes out to Helen, my favorite musician of the future. Thanks for giving me a second chance.

xo <3 jude

Currently listening : Weird Tales of the Ramones By The Ramones Release date: 09 August, 2005

7:47 AM - 47 Comments - 96 Kudos - Add Comment

seventeen candles
Current mood: calm

Once a year this day rolls around where everyone wants to sing this stupid song at you and feed you cake and give you presents.  I like cake and presents (especially the MP3-playing kind) as much as anybody else, but quit it with the singing, ok?

In the past 17 years, I've noticed that whenever people sing that song to me, bad things happen.  And I'm not talking about how everyone's always off key. 

I swear I'm not superstitious, but this is not a superstition -- it's a fact.  Whenever someone sings (or even hums) that song in my direction, I know that before the night is over I will be stung by a bee or twist my ankle or get dumped in the middle of a giant work party where I'm expected to look cute and impress people.  Every birthday, something bad happens. Last year super-sucked, so this year I figured I'd go for the opposite kind of celebration. I was going to dress up all paleolithic and celebrate in the smallest, goofiest way, with just my mom and my sis and Speed.  I mean, a birthday where you're supposed to act stupid and make a mess sounds perfect for me, right?

But the birthday fairy (or whoever it is who controls this stuff) flat-out refuses to let me have a calm, normal birthday.  Instead I got trapped in a basement for hours with a producer I thought I hated. It was a birthday with yelling and drama and lots of singing (not the birthday song, though).

Well, you know what, birthday fairy?  If you were trying to ruin yet another birthday for me, you failed. I'm happy it worked out the way it did. Instead of eating mediocre chicken wings and wearing fake bones in my hair, I spent the night working on something that matters. And writing good lyrics.  And getting along with my producer again... maybe better than ever.  Birthday fairy, I'm not scared of you anymore.  Whatever you've got, bring it on. Next year, maybe I'll even let them sing.

xo <3 jude

Currently listening : Fashion Nugget By Cake Release date: 17 September, 1996

12:52 PM - 152 Comments - 235 Kudos - Add Comment

best/worst
Current mood: thankful

motorhead
Current mood: content

Dad and I have been working on my car every chance we get. So far, it doesn't feel like we're making much progress, but I guess it'll happen eventually.

The thing I like about "car time" (as I like to call it) is that the pieces go where they go. Everything just makes sense... at least if you have a Mustang-loving dad around to explain how it all fits together.   The music side of my life is a nonstop blur of conflicting opinions, but car time is a completely different headspace... one where I'm not focused on what my producers want or what the fans want.  The car's going to be a ton of work, though.

The car... my car. I like the sound of that. At some point, I have to give it a real name, right? Depending on my mood, I've been calling it either "my awesome '67 mustang" or "the $9000 mistake," but those are both kind of long. I think maybe I'll wait till it's fixed up a bit more... till I get a better sense of his (her? its?) personality.

Oh, by the way...judging by the comments on my last entry, you myspacers are a crafty bunch!  When I'm feeling creative, I reach for my guitar, but I am always impressed when other people pick up glue or scissors or beads or paint and turn it into something great.

Thanks for reading/commenting/supporting/listening.

Currently listening : The Misfits By The Misfits Release date: 01 July, 1991

2:07 PM - 99 Comments - 159 Kudos - Add Comment

into something good
Current mood: curious

i think random unexpected gifts are great, especially if they're from someone you like, but i'm always confused about whether i should make something for that person in return (like right away) or just say thanks. 

So today i have a question for the myspace masses:

Do you make little presents for the people you like? And if a dude gave you a hand-decorated air freshener for your car, what (if anything) would you do for him in return?

um, i guess i had two questions. so... thoughts?

xo <3 jude

Currently listening : Dying to Say This to You By The Sounds Release date: 21 March, 2006

2:54 PM - 242 Comments - 328 Kudos - Add Comment

distracted
Current mood: flirty

ugh. now that I'm signed in, I don't feel like sitting still and typing. I am full of energy, just not the blogging kind.

instead, I think I will turn off the computer and head over to the rehearsal space, where I can feel a warm boy hand in mine. That sounds so first grade, but holding hands is way underrated. It's like all of a sudden you're physically connected to this person...this awesome, creative person who is real and right there.  And if you are lucky that person will later try to wrestle you, and you will discover some sweet wrestling skills you never knew you had, and you will kick his ass. 

oh and if you have good cloud control, I suggest making it rain just as you're outside celebrating your wrestling win.  rainy kisses... rainy kisses are nice.

yeah, um... i'm leaving. bye.

xo <3 jude

Currently listening : The Comeback EP By Stars Release date: 25 September, 2001

9:19 AM - 176 Comments - 263 Kudos - Add Comment

horror story
Current mood: frustrated

If you are my friend and you want to stay my friend, there are certain things you cannot do:

#1: You must NEVER, under any circumstances, for any reason in the world, kiss my dad.

I knew this was going to be a tough week when I found out I had to sit through a horror movie.  I'm just not a scary movie person.  But nobody warned me about the living nightmare coming just afterwards.  I had to watch my best (wait, FORMER best) friend grab my dad and kiss him just to piss me off.  This is a girl I've known forever, and I thought it was going to stay that way.  Sometimes I am so wrong about people, it's sick.

AGRGRRHGHHGGGGHGHHHHHHHHH.

Just to get off that topic, there are a few other things on my friendship list (all of which come from life experience):

-you must not think I suck. If I'm acting like an ass, you can call me on it, but you can't hate me all the time.

-you must not be a hot (or even semi-hot) guy who shares my taste in music or we will eventually get attracted to each other and mess everything up. 

-you must not be competitive or jealous

-you must be okay with my job taking up a lot of my time, and with the fact that I will occasionally stop paying attention mid-conversation if you say something that sounds like a song lyric

Ugh, why am I even trying to write? My brain is too busy trying to block out "the Kat incident."  I want to hit rewind on my life and pretend this last week never happened.  If anyone has a time machine lying around, could I borrow it? Even just for five minutes?

Currently listening : The Bravery By The Bravery Release date: 29 March, 2005

10:53 AM - 155 Comments - 245 Kudos - Add Comment