"how could you"
Current mood: dirty

i read this couple years ago and thought it was touching..  

HOW COULD YOU? By Jim Willis, 2001

When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you
laugh.

You called me your child, and despite a number of chewed shoes and a
couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend.

Whenever I was "bad," you'd shake your finger at me and ask "How
could you?" -- but then you'd relent and roll me over for a bellyrub.

My housebreaking took a little longer than expected, because you
were terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I remember those
nights of nuzzling you in bed and listening to your confidences and
secret dreams, and I believed that life could not be anymore
perfect. We went for long walks and runs in the park,car rides,
stops for ice cream (I only got the cone because "ice cream is bad
for dogs" you said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you
to come home at the end of the day.

Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career,
and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you
patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments,
never chided you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at
your homecomings, and when you fell in love.

She, now your wife, is not a "dog person" -- still I welcomed
her into our home, tried to show her affection, and obeyed her. I
was happy because you were happy. Then the human babies came along
and I shared your excitement. I was fascinated by their pinkness,
how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you
worried that I might hurt them,and I spent most of my time banished
to another room, or to a dog crate.

Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a "prisoner of love."

As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur
and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes,
investigated my ears, and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved
everything about them and their touch -- because your touch was now
so infrequent -- and I would've defended them with my life if need
be. I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and
secret dreams, and together we waited for the sound of your car in
the driveway.

There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that
you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories
about me. These past few years, you just answered "yes" and changed
the subject. I had gone from being "your dog" to "just a dog," and
you resented every expenditure on my behalf.

Now, you have a new career opportunity in another city, and you and
they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets.

You've made the right decision for your "family," but there was a
time when I was your only family.

I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal
shelter.

It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness.

You filled out the paperwork and said "I know you will find a good
home for her." They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They
understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog, even one
with "papers."

You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar as he
screamed "No, Daddy! Please don't let them take my dog!"

And I worried for him, and what lessons you had just taught him
about friendship and loyalty, about love and responsibility,and
about respect for all life.

You gave me a good-bye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and
politely refused to take my collar and leash with you. You
had a deadline to meet and now I have one, too. After you left, the
two nice ladies said you probably knew about your upcoming move
months ago and made no attempt to find me another good home. They
shook their heads and asked, "How could you?"

They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy
schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite
days ago. At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the
front, hoping it was you that you had changed your mind -- that
this was all a bad dream... or I hoped it would at least be someone
who cared, anyone who might save me.

When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for
attention of happy puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated
to a far corner and waited. I heard her footsteps as she came for me
at the end of the day, and I padded along the aisle after her to a
separate room.

A blissfully quiet room. She placed me on the table and rubbed my
ears, and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of
what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief.

The prisoner of love had run out of days.

As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which
she bears weighs heavily on her, and I know that, thesame way I
knew your every mood.

She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran
down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort
you so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into
my vein.

As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my
body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured
"How could you?"

Perhaps because she understood my dogspeak, she said "I'm so sorry."
She hugged me, and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I
went to a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or
abandoned, or have to fend for myself -- a place of love and light
so very different from this earthly place.

And with my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump
of my tail that my "How could you?" was not directed at her. It
was directed at you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of you.

I will think of you and wait for you forever. May everyone in
your life continue to show you so much loyalty.

10:55 PM - 4 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

school starts back up tomorrow boooooooooo
Current mood: depressed

School starts back up tomorrow.... oh hell no!  I can't believe summer is already gone...  I feel like I've haven't done much but I guess I kinda did :)  I finally had the chance to visit cedar point amusement park lol..  I've been wanting to go there since beginning of the year but finally had the chance to go which was nice.  Family members from korea also kept me busy through out summer and after they were gone, I visited more family in Michigan and met some old time friends.  I think overall, I had a decent summer :)

5:42 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Little kids... what do they like to do?
Current mood: hot

My little cousin came over from korea yesterday and I need to find stuff to do with her till Friday....  She's going to Culvers summer camp but till then, I need to babysit her   I took her to see the movie Cars today and she loved it but I am already running out of things to do with her lol..  It's a good thing we have a dog because she's been playing with Jenny all day and I think even Jenny is tired of playing lol This girl has too much energy!!!  anyone have any suggestions on what we can do?  I guess this is the result of being an only child

10:20 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

really hot day today
Current mood: exhausted

wow, today was freaking HOT here in indy.  It was very sunny and humid which can only mean it's sweating balls time!!!  What's worse is that my church had a picnic day today and we all had to participate in the "sporting" event, which made things worse because I started to sweat(well kinda because thankfully, I was avoiding all the events.. heh..).  Overall, it was a decent day but damn, my car is hard as hell to drive with the A/C on....    oh yeah, I got myself a pet cactus...  I named it Mr Bob..

don't mind the vase, my little cousin made it

7:27 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

school is done till wednesday
Current mood: blank

Ohhhhhh Yeah!!! school is over!!!!  wait.. till this wednesday.. WTF?  I can't believe this shit.  Got done with school for the semester Sunday and already starting summer session?  damn I hate school~~~~

1:28 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Tornado is coming~~
Current mood: blank

Wow, I guess we had a big storm pass by us last night.  Tornado warning everywhere!!  Too bad my town didn't get any tornados but we did have 3 power outs in a row.  Some scary shit...

9:39 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

got my BEAST this past weekend..

yep.. finally got my new car.  drove all the way to Columbus Ohio to pick her up since they didn't have white on gold wheels in indy(I hear that it's special and rare to have white on gold wheels..  )  Overall experience was pretty good and the sales person, Frank was very nice to deal with.  I already put on 4xx miles but I still got 5xx more miles to go until I unleash all of her 300 horse power muhahahaha  Compared to my accord, this car is a MONSTER..  It's got so much power that it scares me.  It's also funny to drive around watching other drivers facial expression  They have the WTF kind of car is that look on their face  Personally, I have only seen 3 STI in indy.. that's kinda odd but cool because it's still pretty rare around here.  I hope I don't get into any trouble with this car but it's very hard to resist driving fast...

10:16 PM - 4 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

am I finally getting a new ride?

Some of you might know that I was looking foward to getting a new car for like last 5 years or so.. lol..  well, that wonderful day might be very close!  I can't believe it.  Yesterday, my dad and I went to check out some cars at the subaru dealership in carmel, since my current realistic deam car is the subaru wrx STi.  To my surprise, they found the car that's very similar to what I want in ohio.  If that car is in awesome condition and under 10 miles, I think I will buy it  If the cars in condition that I don't want, dealer has to order it from Japan.. which can take who knows...  Some say that it's the ugliest car in the world, but to me, it looks mean!  I will miss my baby accord very much but she's gotta go to make room for my new baby ^.^  If the deal does go through, I will post some pics, if not, no pics for you!

It'll look something like this..  

8:08 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

just got my new earphones
Current mood: blah

Tired of working on my econ homework so I will post a pic of my new earphones that I just received.  These things are AWESOME!!  if you guys listen to a lot of music and have couple bills lying around, you guys should def get these.  Some might call me crazy for spending all this money on earphones but my ears will thank me.. 

9:28 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

first post
Current mood: blank

my first post on myspace

12:44 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment