I hate it when a free ride ends..

when I went to watch television today, I had zero signal.  Turns out the cable company realized I was watchin' without payin' and they cut my connection. 

Instead of a simple unscrew action it sounds like they snipped my wire.  So now if I want back in, I either gotta pay or find someone with the crimping tools to repair my wire. 

I do so hate it when a free ride ends.

12:48 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

your mother would love me..

I have always had a special ability to make mothers love me.  I don't know why.  Maybe its my Eddie Haskell-like appearance and good manners.  No one can be that good, right?

Well, like Eddie, I've had my hands in more than just a few cookie jars, its true.  And I think fathers can tell this, because they all seem to look at me like I'm up to no good.  When in truth I'm not really up to anything.. usually.

All of the mother of my girlfriends have always adored me.. there was the one who used to cry on my shoulder, the one who used to have me do stuff around the house for her because her husband was lazy and her son was good for nothing, and the one who may have tipped her hand when I met her for the very first time by saying "I hope to see more of you in my daughters life."   No pressure!

Point is, I never worry about meeting a girls mother.  The father on the other hand is an entirely different story.

See, fathers don't care if you're a sweet boy who loves his daughter.  Oh, maybe they do a little.. but they need to know more.   I once had a guy ask me about my five year plan.  "Where do you expect to be in five years?" he said.  And, he didn't laugh when I replied "celebrating the five year anniversary of you asking me that question!".  So much for diffusing the situation with humor.  Another dad asked if I was planning on using his daughter for money.. and, again, like a dipshit.. I say "I am not, sir.. but don't you agree I'd look great with a rolex?"  There must be something about dealing with a daughters suitor's that just ruins a mans sense of humor.

I bring all this up because in the middle of October I'm headed out to the west coast of Huntington Beach, California for a wedding.  And at this wedding I'll be meeting Desiree's family.  Mom, dad, step-mom, sister, brother.. aunt's and uncles' and cousins, oh my!

So, not only will I be in foreign territory, but I gotta bring my "a" game and make sure everyone loves me.  So, what do you think I should say if anyone asks what I'm doing with my life?  :)

1:04 PM - 10 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

TEXTING KILLS!

Ok so, have ya seen this?  Engineer of wrecked train was texting on the job!

Oh noes!

Seriously?  Texting on the job?  Where the job is either slowing down or speeding up a train..  See, here's my problem with this assertation.  I know lots of people who text while they drive..  and this fact requires a steering wheel.  Which, okay correct me if I'm wrong because I don't have a locomotive degree, but trains don't have steering wheels.  They just ride, you know, on tracks.

And, alright, so even if the guy is texting.. while, I guess, keeping the train going forward.  Instead of looking out for cows or whatever on the tracks.. lets just agree on the fact that its not like they were driving in the fog, and that the other train must have been visible for some time..  and can we also agree that text messages need to be kept under 160 characters?  Ok?  They didn't say he was "e-mailing"..  So how long do you have to be not paying attention for two trains to hit each other?  And don't trains have that whole dead man's switch thing?  So, you know, maybe he was one-handed texting? 

And I thought trains were supposed to have two people in the engineers cab?

No, in my humble opinion, I don't think this crash was caused by texting.  I'm a fan of texting and I think I could text and drive a train at the same time.. (seeing as I often text in the car.. you know.. while also operating a steering wheel.)

If you had to ask me what caused this horrible incident.. this tragic affair..  Only one thing comes to mind.

Bejeweled.

or maybe even Insaniquarium.

That is all.

4:02 AM - 3 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

You never blog anymore! WTF!

Its true, I don't blog as much as I used to.  And I totally apologize.  Not much noteworthy going on..

Except that I recently got into some legal trouble.

I won't get into the "deets", but let me just tell you all something.. when it comes to talking to judges, cops, probation officers, and anyone else related to the court system.  Lie.  Lie your fucking ass off like you're running for president..  I've found that being truthful is the quickest way to get boned by the system.  Tell them whatever it is they want to hear, anything less will make you miserable.

With that said, lets talk about some other stuff..

I'm still unemployed..  Its not as blissful as it used to be.. what with all the money I owe for my stint in the system.  I'm still looking for a job, but the Michigan economy sucks..  I've even recently applied to, and haven't heard back from, places I would have to wear a NAMETAG to work at.  I know, right?  A nametag?  Fuck all if that doesn't say "move", but thanks to a years amount of not making ends meet I have a huge amount of defaulted credit card debt that ruined my credit rating and until I pay THAT off, I don't even think a hobo would rent me a box.  So, I'm staying where I'm at because I moved in here before all that went down and this place seems to still think I'm an upstanding individual. hah.  So, anyways, I need a full time job.

Lets see, what else.. I've started reading The Dark Tower series again.  Its pretty much just as good as I remember it.   Do you like to read?  Obviously you kinda do, you're reading this..  but, books?  If so, you really ought to try out this 7 book series.. f'real.  Science fiction meets fantasy meets horror meets spaghetti western!  No shit.  I'm just wrapping up the first book today.

Whats next.. OH!  RENAISSANCE FESTIVAL!  Yeah.  The MRF has started again.  I missed last weekend due to an overall lack of funds and some other priorities, but I'll be around with my wonderful girlfriend next weekend and of course Labor Day.  My BFF Drew and his lovely wife Natalie will be up from Raleigh to instigate some debauchery and help me hijack the parade.  Arent we some fine mofos!

I always have a blast at the renfest, no matter what.  Sometimes I just have fun sittin around;

Or hangin with one of my favorite acts, the zukes;

Ok, ok.. enough jabberin about the fest...

I've started playing World of Warcraft..  have I mentioned that in a previous post?  I actually started playing about 6 weeks ago. I know, I said I wouldn't get into another MMORPG.  Especially after my stint with Everquest.. omg.  When I think about the time I wasted with that game.. haha.. I just used calc to tell me how many hours I played in the game.  I don't even want to tell you people.  Suffice to say over the course of 7 years I logged over 20,000 hours played.  Ouch.  But, being unemployed and trying to save money does something to a man..  Most importantly it makes a man realize that you can pay $14 a month to be entertained when you're home alone and theres not shit on T.V. and you've watched all your movies twice over.

In case you're wondering, I'm level 63 and I play on Chromaggus (PVP), if you wanna hook up.  I also have a few newbs on Cairne, as thats where I set Des up to play on.

And lastly, I meant to post this review a while ago.. but if you're a fan of Stargate SG-1..  I would like to reccomend that you rent the new Stargate: Continuum instead of purchasing it.  I was disappointed with the movie, didn't like the ending at all, and wondered how they could have produced this after the stellar job they did with Ark of Truth.  I had read all about the movie before I bought it and was totally psyched to get it.. and I was left with a feeling of "meh." after I watched it.  I guess they focused too much time on settings and backstory maybe.. it was a total let down.  So, take it from a man who has watched the show since it began on Showtime! (full of swearing and tits!) and is a die-hard fan..  This one is a rental.  Save your money for the complete dvd boxed set instead.

k thats it for now.  I do have plenty more to post and I'll try to get into a regular update schedule again.  I mean, shit, what else I got to do?

12:09 PM - 4 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Making T.V. my bitch

So, I love TiVo.  I used to only watch TV through TiVo, but then I moved and it wasn't mine so it stayed where it was while I left.  Since then, I've been watching.. commercials.  I usually dont mind commercials, because its usually a break to get up and pee or get food/drink or participate in some make-out session, but lately I've been able to sing along with almost every commercial jingle I come across.. and thats not good.

Also, because Des didn't use to watch television, and because I've been introducing her to a few cool shows, we've been sort of altering our lives around "time slots".. which, for real, fucking sucks.  And I pretty much refuse to hook up a VCR again.  Not to mention Des has a job now and one of our favorite shows starts at 12:30am.. its just good science for a decent night sleep that we went out and got a TiVo.

And its awesome.  If you dont have a tivo or have never used one, you should.  I can watch what I want, when I want, with no commercials! Its better than your standard cable company DVR, its more user friendly, and not only that, you can hook it up to your wireless network and stream movies/music from your home computer to it.

I was just worried that it wouldnt work, since we've been "borrowing" cable the entire time we've lived here.. but it seems all well.  It hooks up fine to the wireless internet we've also been "borrowing" and its downloading the schedule update as we speak.

So, television, you are officially my bitch.

....again.

3:05 PM - 4 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

Fruit Fuckers, Infidelity, and Hannah Montana.

Just a couple things;

I've been really enjoying a new game, and I thought I'd pass along my two thumbs up to those who read my blogs..  Its from the guys that make the Penny Arcade webcomic..  Its called "On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness" and its being released in episodic content, meaning there will be a few sequels that tell the whole story.  Its available for Windows, Linux, and XBox360.  You can pick it up for a mere $20 at http://www.playgreenhouse.com/.  Its not a huge download, clocking in at just over 200 meg, but its packed full of fun.  I would call it Maniac Mansion meets Monkey Island in the somewhat vulgar somewhat verbose universe of Penny Arcade.  Its super.

Also, because I'm not a huge fan of the Cyrus', I would like to point out the new Miley controversy regarding her plagiarizing of a song by pop-punk band Lustra.  Maybe you remember the song Scotty Doesn't Know?  It was sang by Matt Damon at the beginning of the movie Euro-Trip about a girl cheating on her boyfriend Scott.  Anyways, her song "Rock Star" sounds eerily similar.  Wanna have a listen?  Check out this link right here. 

Thats about it.  Have a great memorial day.  Rock on!

11:11 AM - 3 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Colt 45, Cypher Matrix, Gold Bikinis, and Ink... both on paper and skin.

This weekend... actually, starting in about 15 minutes... is the Motor City Comic Con.  And I'm going to be there.  You should come.  It'll be fun.

This year, I'm actually excited about it.  Its always kind of awesome, I mean if you look back at my older blogs you'll see I have a thing for Cosplay..  but its more than that, you see this year we'll get to hang with this bad mother fucker right here:

Thats right, Lando Calrissian..  er.. Billy Dee Williams.. the Colt 45 King.  Shit yeah.

And atop that, also stopping by the D, is Cypher from The Matrix..  Mr. Joey Pants himself..

So that should be cool.  I actually learned about the con this weekend from a contingent of local Suicide Girls that'll be at the show.  If that's not a bonus, I dont know what is.

But, talking about a bonus, I would be remiss if I didn't mention the participation of the Leia's Metal Bikini group.. because really, any geeky boy who grew up with Star Wars action figures has at least one gold bikini fantasy.   Anyone who tells you otherwise was totally into Han Solo.

So, you know, if you're in the area..  Myself and Desiree will be there around 12 or 1, prolly stay till 4 or 5.. come hang.  Get nerdy with it.

9:13 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Another day older.. still the same amount of debt.

So yeah, yesterday was the birthday..  It was suprisingly low key, mostly because everyone I know was busy or on probation.  I woke up and went to go and stuff myself on Big Boy breakfast.. when I finished they gave me this huge chocolate fudge ice cream monstrosity which I ate with joy..  of course that on top of eggs, bacon, sausage, hash browns and toast didnt feel like such a great deal soon after.

After I went home and cleaned up we headed out to my old waterin' hole, Shenanigans, where the regs treated me to a few free rounds..

And after that I picked up my boy Zach and we went to Baileys Billiards, where I had an awesome French Dip and then the three of us played pool for a few hours.  Many beers and a few shots were consumed.  I watched the Red Wings win and the Tigers lose.

Then after we dropped Zach off we decided to roll by Wellington so I could get my karaoke on..  but Des hadn't been feeling well all day.. so once I sang one song and got a mediocre reception, I decided Wellington didnt deserve my talent and my poor girlfriend would probably like to go home and take medicine and get comfortable.

So.  yeah.  I know, right?  Its not really... me.

Next year the birthday is on a friday, so I'm going to whoop it the fuck up.

But technically this weekend is still "birthday weekend", so I've got a day or two to tear it up.  I'll let you know how it goes.

6:15 PM - 4 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

April 10th is my birthday..

And I’m poor..  so come out and buy me a beer, wontcha?  Perhaps pick up a round of pool.

I can’t decide between video games and drinks at Dave and Busters, or pool and drinks at Baileys..  or bowling and drinks at Thunderbird.  All I know is that afterward, there will be karaoke at Wellington Pub.

Join me!

8:40 AM - 6 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Wisdumb
Current mood: cantankerous

This blog is dedicated to my poor girlfriend, who is currently fretting about credit card debt.

I have (had) a lot of credit card debt.  I’ve been overwhelmed by minimum payments.  I’ve exhausted all avenues of financial freedom except bankruptcy. Really.  I worked my ass off after losing 3 months of sleep trying to figure out how to make ends meet.  Finally, after debt consolidation told me that they couldnt help me.  I just gave up.

I stopped paying.

I needed a roof.  I needed groceries and dog food.  I needed gas money.  I needed heat and I needed electricity.  All those things used up all my money.  So, I stopped paying.  I couldn’t afford a 32% or 29% or 27% interest. All of my requests for leniency and reduced interest and lower payments were met with scripted answers and hokey bullshit.

Of course the calls came.  They still come.  But they cant take anything from me.  Everything I own at this point I paid for in cash.  Everything I charged to rack up that debt was poor decisions I made in my past.  Even pleading with the credit card companies only ever got me cookie cutter responses for my anguish.

So, I stopped paying.

Most of the credit cards have sold off my debt to collection companies..  Now all I get is calls from new numbers.  I know what they want.

They want money I dont have and wont give them.   I need to live.   Its been almost a year now that I’ve lived on a purely cash basis and I dont plan to ever change that.  One day, sure, I will want a home.  (I’ve been a homeowner before, but that was with someone who ended up being shady)  And this debacle with my credit will be a hurdle, to be sure.. but like everything else in my life I’m used to overcoming uphill battles.   My bills will get paid.  But my point has been made, at least to those companies I shrugged off, that if they won’t help me that I won’t help them.  If they can’t help me stay afloat I won’t help them profit.  The end.

And when its all said and done I’ll repair my credit..  and I’ll pay the collection companies, who are happy to charge me no interest in return for regular payments.  And now I know how awful credit card companies really are.

Each and every one of them can go fuck themselves.

So to anyone who is in trouble; have faith.  To those who aren’t in trouble, stop using credit, or you will be.  I can understand the need to use credit when you are unemployed or there is an emergency, but beyond that every dollar you spend you’ll regret.  Credit Cards should be behind glass, like fire hoses, so you have to make a fucking spectacle to use them.. it should be a need.  Not a want.

Or you’ll end up like me, with shitty credit and a phone that wont shut up.  But, I have a roof, and I have heat and lights.  And a loving girl.  And an amazing dog and hillarious cat.  And I love my life.  And no credit card company can take that away.

So...   Discover, Bank of America, Citibank, and Chase?  Go fuck yourself.

8:03 PM - 3 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment