Take a look at this

8:50 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

It’s Been A While
Current mood: calm
Category: Life

So, what the fuck is UP!?  Yea yea, I know.  I haven't "written" a real blog in like forever.  Or hell, even a fake blog.  I haven't done one of those in a while either.  Meh.  So what's going on with me?  I don't know.  Why don't you ask me yourself instead of me asking questions for you, you lazy fucks!  AUGH!!  Seriously, MAN UP NIGGAS AND ASK ME!!  Okay, I didn't mean that.  But come on!!  Well any who.  I don't know what to write.  My creativity is like lost at the baggage claim place.  Oh well, if I think of something to write, I'll write it but until then catch you fuckers on the flipside...mmmmm flipsides...*drool*

12:35 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Further Proof Customers ARE IDIOTS!!
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

Shoppers Browse Unstaffed Colorado Store

By Associated Press

Wed Sep 5, 8:48 PM....

NORTHGLENN, Colo. - They could have left the tree completely bare. But some honest shoppers at an unstaffed Dollar Tree store must have decided that honesty was the best policy while searching for bargains on Labor Day.

About 15 shoppers walked through the front doors of a closed Dollar Tree store Monday after a lock on the doors malfunctioned.

They also didn't see, or ignored, a sign on the doors indicating the store was closed for the holiday.

For one: the lights in the store were all on, plus, there was music playing in the background, all making it look like it was business as usual.

Northglenn Police spokesman Ian Lopez says one woman became suspicious when there was no one at the register to ring up her purchase, so she called authorities.

The cash registers were reportedly open and empty, but Lopez says it appears nothing was stolen.

Police were able to contact a manager, who fixed the lock and closed the store.

Lopez says the incident showed that people can be "honest and good."

Justa Mazing here and after reading this I think to myself I thinks...wow!!  There was a SIGN ON THE DOOR stating the store was CLOSED but customers still walked on in?  The article says they ignored or didn't see the sign...IGNORED perhaps...COULDN'T FUCKING READ BECAUSE THEY'RE THE SAME FUCKING ASSHOLES THAT CAN'T FUCKING TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ONE DOLLAR OFF AND ONE DOLLAR SIGN.  I HATE IGNORANT PEOPLE LIKE THAT!!...ugh

/end communication

11:48 AM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

7 Incorrect Ways To Respond To "Hi"
Category: MySpace

1.  I fucked your wife.
2.  Shhhh...I'm hearing voices again.
3.  What crawled up your ass and died?!
4.  I find it funny to say I'm ignoring you and then ignore you.
5.  WHERE?!?
6.  Is that you Nemo?  I FOUND NEMO!!
7.  Aren't you supposed to be dead?  I thought that shark ate you.  *standing still*

9:04 PM - 2 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

jokes (it's private for a reason folks)
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

people are going to regret closing the border to mexico because everybody from canada is going to start coming and you never hear anybody say "damn, that's a fine ass canadian girl"

8:38 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment

OUTRAGE!! PARIS HILTON...
Category: News and Politics

At first when I heard that Paris was sent home with an ankle bracelet, I was furious...until I saw this

Now that I see that she's back in jail to serve the FULL 45 days, I'm fine now.

I had so much to write about.  But then that picture above calmed me down and I was feeling happy again.  Moral of the story...Just because you're "rich" doesn't mean you're above the law.  Fuck you bitch.  Medical condition my ass.  Your ass is back in the slammer.  Hope you get stabbed with a spoon during chow.

Top 6 Things Overheard in County During Paris' Stay

1.)  Amazon Lady:  One Night In Paris?  Try 45 Nights In The Amazon!!  (now THAT'S hot)
2.)  Female Inmate:  I wouldn't fuck her with Big Bertha's Dick.
3.)  Guard:  Mmmmm...oh yeah...oh yeah....OH GOD YEAH!!!  Okay Paris.  I'll tell everybody that you have a "medical condition" and put you on house arrest because of your "medical condition."
4.)  Inmate after Paris comes back:  I TOLD YOU BITCH YOU'LL BE BACK.  GRAB YOUR SPOON BITCH AND EAT MY CHOCOLATE ASS CREAM!!
5.)  Guard:  OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK YEAH!!  HOLY SHIT...that's better than the first time, but sorry Paris I've been suspended and this is only a conjugal visit...huh?  Oh, well since my wife found out about what you did to me, I've been kicked out of the house and been living in these clothes ever since.  Oh and thanks for givin me head again.  I hope you don't catch something because I fucked a nasty lookin whore in all 3 holes of hers.
6.)  Female Inmate 1:  oh no
Female Inmate 2:  Oh No
Female Inmate 3:  OH NO!!
Paris Hilton:  OH YEAH!!  Oh wait...I mean OH NO NOT AGAIN *sobbing like a little bitch!*

9:31 AM - 5 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment

Bartender, where's my drink?
Category: Blogging

Hey guys, sit down a while because this is going to be my new blog...give me a few days to write it once I think of some Tom Fooleries to write.  So until I post date a new date, comment and give suggestions on what you want to read...

11:15 PM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

5 Sure Fire Ways To Get Kicked Out Of Kindergarten (or so I've been told)
Category: Life

1.  Steal teachers answer book for coloring between the lines.
2.  When it's time for nap time, start undressing down to nothing and say "This is how you make me do it at home."
3.  (if you're teacher is old)  Steal her dentures and switch them with those chattery teeth.
4.  (if you're teacher is young)  Show her the pictures you found on the internet of her and a donkey.
5.  Make sure teacher is watching while you sign "I Want a Blowjob" and drop your pants...

I know, it's a weak list.  I gotta get back to doing this things again.

9:52 PM - 4 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

How NOT To Blog...
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

Usually on my other blogs, I mix fantasy with reality.  Not today.  Today is all reality.

Sunday March 11th 2007 4:55 p.m.

Nicole, my boss, asks me to condition center aisle and grab dumps.  *dumps are product left behind from fucktard customers that are too fucking lazy to walk 4 feet to return the fucking product*  I tell Nicole I'll do so, but right after I come back from my lunch.  So I went on lunch, got myself a Hungry Man meal (cheeseburger with cheese steak fries), and let me tell you that shit is the bomb diggity!!  Anywho, I finished my lunch, clocked back in at 5:30 p.m.  It's 5:35 p.m. now and I went up front by the greeter stand to grab a couple of carts so I can get those dumps.  One would be for GM and the other for Grocery.  As I get by the Jesus aisle (water & wine aisle) I noticed that one of the skid displays is looking pretty shitty.  So I turn to the end cap that has the new Vault on there.  Then this happens:

guy:  Hey man!...Is there a limit on the Gatorade?
Me:  *I ignored him just for 2 seconds*
guy:  Hey boss man!!

First off, if you don't know me, don't call me a nickname as if you do know me.  It's just fucking rude.  I don't walk up to any random person and address them as such, I have manners and just say excuse Ms., Ma'am, Sir.

Me:  *politely* Please don't call me boss man.  It's basically up to the cashier to limit you on the Gatorade.
guy:  Then what do you want me to call you then?  Hey Worker Guy?
Me:  Sir or excuse me sir would have been fine.
Guy:  What is your problem?  If you don't like working here...QUIT!
Me:  I'm not gonna quit and I DO like working here.

At this point is when a stare down ensues and he keeps talking shit and I'm trying to walk away and ignore him.

guy:  If you're having problems, you should leave your problems out of this!
Me:  I have no problems, I was just saying that all you had to do was call me sir and not boss man.  That's disrespectful.
guy:  *to his friend*  Look at him!  He thinks he something!

At that point I'm still starin him down because now he's really fucking pissing me off and I'm feelin my eyes turn red with fucking rage.  He's basically belittling me in front of his friend (his friend is telling him to basically stop) and in front of other customers and co-workers that are passing by.  Then he starts walking towards me as if he was about to do something to me.  Now I'm really fucking raging and I tried to call the Manager in charge, but the line was busy.  So I called Security to come to grocery center aisle because I need assistance.  I was feeling threatened but also at the same time, if that fucking asshole tried to do something I would have thrown down.  I've never fought before, but if any of you know me you know that I have anger issues.

guy:  CALL YOUR SUPERVISOR!
Me:  *my tone of voice a little louder than normal*  I called somebody and they're on their way.  Just keep away from me.  KEEP AWAY FROM ME!!
guy:  CALL YOUR SUPERVISOR!!  I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR SUPERVISOR!!
Me:  *walking towards aisle 10*  I CALLED SOMEBODY ALREADY AND THEY ARE ON THEIR WAY!!!
guy:  *walking to the red phone by aisle 11*

That red phone is basically a phone for customers to ask for help and whoever has the grocery phone, they get the call.  Since I had the grocery phone, I knew it was going to get the call, but I turned off the phone because I knew he picked up that red phone.  I turn the phone on again, but it's still ringing.  So I turned off the phone again and then that's when it finally forwarded to the grocery manager phone (Nicole).  She got off the phone:

Nicole:  Rick, come with me down aisle 10 to center...
Me:  NO!  I already know who it is and I'm not going over there!

Right when Nicole got to center, the security chick showed up and both her and Nicole were talking to the guy.

Then the security chick came walking towards me and she asked me what happened.  I told her that basically the guy was disrespecting me.  I couldn't get everything out because I was in fucking rage mode and I was literally shaking with anger.

LP:  The guy wants to file a complaint.
Me:  Let me guess, he pulled the race card.  I KNEW HE WAS GONNA DO THAT!!

So after I finish talking to LP I looked down aisle 10 and saw Nicole and Jason (Manager in charge) talking to the guy.  When they finished talking to him, they came walking towards me.  I go in the backroom by the grocery office and Nicole asks me what happened.  I told her that basically that guy was disrespecting me.  Jason had to answer an outside call, but after he was done with that he asked me the same thing.  As to which I told him the same thing I told Nicole and LP.  But again I was so enraged I couldn't remember everything even though it happened minutes prior.

Jason tells me the same thing LP told me, he wants to file a complaint and he was going to go to the service desk ask for the corporate number and he's probably going to call Ron (the main manager of the store) and complain about me as well.  Jason then tells me he doesn't know what that guy's problem was, but he thinks that maybe he has a chip on his shoulder because of his nationality/heritage/race, and basically asked me to write a report about exactly what had happened.

Okay, you're asking yourself.  What the fuck Rick?  I'm going to tell you this.  The guy was Hindu, Arab, Pakistani, Indian, whatever.  I don't know what he was exactly, but I knew that fucking asshole was going to pull the fucking race card.  I FUCKING KNEW IT!!

I AM NOT FUCKING RACIST!!  I myself am Mexican and I KNOW what it feels like to hated on because of my race.  Hell, I even had my own kind talk shit about me in front of me in Spanish.  They thought I was white.  I shut them the fuck up really quick.  Back to the subject.  I didn't say anything derogatory to that guy.  I did not discriminate him.  He took it to the next level, if anything he was the insecure one.  Now, if I get suspended because of that asshole and Ron takes his fucking side...Ron's got something coming to him.  If he thinks that he's gonna the customers side and not listen to what I have to say, then he will be sorry for doing so.  Now with that being said here's this...

If I get fired for writing this blog, meijer you will be hearing from me.  Ron, you will be hearing from me.  Don't take this out of proportion.  This is my right according to the constitution.

Sorry guys for the long rant, but I'm sure many of you will probably be on my side.

7:35 PM - 9 Comments - 14 Kudos - Add Comment

How To Blog...THE PREQUEL
Category: Blogging

So it's been some time since I have really "written" a blog.  What's the hold up, you're probably asking yourself.  Well...hell if I know.  Christmas is over and I believe it's time for a new blog now that my head is somewhat clear.

So here I am at work and not really getting many phone calls for price checks.  I kept wondering why I wasn't getting any phone calls.  I didn't know and I was curious as to why.  Well, if I wasn't getting any calls, I guess it's to do the next best thing.  Actually help out customers and be *GASP*  nice .  Yes I did add the smileys in as a point to be made.

Here it was one day before Christmas Eve, or as I like to call it Christmas Eve squared.  This year I believe many customers were smart, but we still had the occasional slack-jawed yokel.  "Exshcushe me shir, could eww tale meh where thuh baferewms ahr?"  Well of course seeing that it was me, I had to give him the usual run around...but I was being nice and told him to follow the back wall all the way up until the bikes and they were there.  I know, most of you were probably wanting me to say something like "Shure theeng buddy!!  I'll tell hyou hwhat.  It's nawt that harrd to buy a compewwter so eww cane start makeeng hyour blawgs!"  Sorry if I lowered your IQ a bit by reading that.  Like I said, I was being nice.  That's a rarity from me.

Now for some odd reason, the people just kept getting more intelligent as the time went on.  I was getting a bit frustrated at the fact that there were no "idjits" coming up to me, and I was still wondering why I haven't been getting any phone calls!!  Then again, I get another "smart" person.  Me and a co-worker were in the baking aisle and I was helping him run this skid full of baking aisle shit.  You know like Jell-O, cake mixes, Jet Puffed Marshmallows, baking chips, you know that stuff.  Well me and Jungle Gym were talking and I was stocking Jell-O as well while we were talking, when out of nowhere we heard this "...I'm gonna have to call you back, I can't read and talk at the same time."  So there I was just utterly shocked by the statement.  Might I add that lady was milf-ish and a dirty blond, but blond nonetheless.  So I waited until she left the aisle and I had to say it.  "That right there is why people think blonds are dumb."  It's not like she was reading how to do brain surgery.  She's looking at the labels of product and can't decipher what the product is because she was talking on the phone!!  I feared for people that day because could you imagine if she ever got pulled over by a cop after she was going 90 in a 30?  "I'm sorry officer, I can't read and drive at the same time."  The cop would have probably let her go right after his bribery blow job from the milf.  But damn, how dumb do you have to be to say some shit like that?

I'm just amazed at what people say, really.  You think working in retail, I would have heard it all.  That was a first for me and I hope for my sake that was the last time I have heard that.  I'll never understand why people are just plain stupid like that, but with stupidity you must dish stupidity back to people.  I was done being nice and it was time to be me again!

Christmas Eve - Sunday:  Indiana Law prohibits the sale of alcohol on this day.  Jungle Gym and I have a cart of alcoholic beverages and we're returning it back to the shelf.  There are signs posted everywhere on the the shelves and they're only 3 feet apart.  People just ignored the sign and kept grabbing bottles and cases.  I finally had enough and just started speaking out loud.  "You know, you think people would learn how to read a sign that is right in front of them stating that you cannot buy alcohol on Sunday's in the State of Indiana!"  A couple people got the hint, while the old lady just kept putting bottles of Golschlager in her basket.  That is when I knew I had to be ruthless.

As I saw her, I decided it was time for the rants.  So there I went.  "You know lady it's really easy to do algebra.  Let's talk about the Pythagorean Theorem.  It tells you that a²+b²=c² so if anybody tells you that 3+4 does not = 5, tell them they are wrong because 3²+4²=5² which means 9+16=25.  Now if they tell you that you're still wrong, write it down for them on a piece of paper.  Then they'll see the light like Jake did in Blues Brothers.  If they still can't see the light, then you're just gonna have to bludgeon them to death with your loaf of whole wheat bread you have there."  After I said that she turned to me and said "Oh, so I can't buy alcoholic beverages today?" In which in turn I replied "What if God was one of us, just a slob like one of us.  It's been a while, since I could hold my head up high, it's been a while since I said I'm sorry.  Leaving on a southern train, only yesterday you lied, promises of what I seem to be only watch the time go by, all of these things you said to me.  When the pimps in the crib ma, drop it like it's hot, drop it like it's hot, drop it like it's hot.  Andale andale mami e i e i oh ohhhhhhhh."  Well clearly after I said that, she dropped dead...literally.  So I have a court date for the first of the year.  HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLE!!

Oh, and the phone thing, I finally figured out what was wrong.  The phone was turned off that's why I wasn't getting any calls.  D'OH!!

Oh, and I'll be posting a short video of myself soon as I can find a free converter that makes .avi's to .wmv's or mpeg or something like that.

9:04 AM - 3 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment