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CHAPTER TWELVE -- COLOR ME GREY
A NEW EMPLOYEE
Sitting by his mother's hospital bed at Sloan Kettering Hospital, the shell of a woman that lay there reminded him little of the stunning woman he remembered as a child. His mother had always been beautiful. At 82 pounds and in such obvious pain, even the morphine drip the hospital had provided wasn't quite enough, he prayed for an end to her existence. After so many years of unhappiness with her father, she had finally achieved some level of contentment. Despite the fact that his father had left her nothing when he died, David had seen to it that his mother wanted for nothing. He had also ensured that she maintained her dignity. He hadn't provided her with an "allowance" as his father had done. As soon as his fathers wishes were made known, David had taken everything and split it all right down the middle. The money, the stocks, insurance, shares in the firm; all of it was just as much hers as it was his. In fact, at the outset, David had pleaded with his mother to take it all. He wanted to sign everything over to her. He felt she deserved it so much more than he did. But, his mother wouldn't hear of it and finally settled on 50% of everything, which suited David just fine.
"David, David," she gasped.
Lately all his mother seemed to do was sleep. She had so little strength, she seldom did much talking. And, even when she did speak, her words were seldom lucid. Even today when she spoke, David wasn't completely sure how much of it made any sense. However, he listened anyway. All too happy to soak in whatever words she had for him, fully aware that anything she said to him might well be the last words she ever spoke.
"David, come closer."
David moved his chair closer to her and leaned in so that he could hear her more clearly.
"No, come sit down next to me on the bed. . . Like you used to when you were little. Remember how you used to come and get in the bed with me on those nights when your father didn't come home."
"Yes, mother. I remember. I always hated sleeping in that big room all by myself and I was so afraid of the dark. I knew if Dad wasn't home you would let me come and sleep with you."
"You were so little. Often you would hear me crying, and you would come in and tell me you would protect me. You were only 6 or 7 years old but you were trying to protect me even back then."
"Yeah," David laughed. "I think I had read too many books about boys slaying dragons."
"You know I'm proud of you, don't you son. And, I feel like you're the only thing I did right with my life."
"Mother, no. You. . . I'm so proud of YOU. You sacrificed everything for me; for the life that you thought I should have."
"There's something I have to tell you David. I've kept it from you all these years. I promised your father I would never, ever tell you. But, now it seems so unfair and so pointless. I should never have kept that kind of a secret. You deserved to know. It was your right to know. She came to see me and she was so young and so afraid. We should have helped her David. We shouldn't have made her go away. We should have helped her. Sometimes I think this cancer is my penance for being so selfish."
Then she started to cry. She coughed and it took so much out of her. As much as David enjoyed the opportunity to hear her speaking again, he realized how much it took out of her and all he wanted her to do now was to rest. He knew she was dying, but like most children, even adult children, he wanted her alive for as long as she could be.
"Mother. You need your rest. Sleep. Sleep now. We can talk again tomorrow."
"No David. I have to tell you. There's no time. I have to tell you now. . . you would have been a good father David. If only we had given you a chance. You would have been a good father."
Before she could say anything else, the machines she was hooked to began to go off, ringing, and making noises that could only mean one thing. David McDonnell would never have an opportunity to speak to his mother again. His only wish was that her last words hadn't been ravings of dementia or maybe they hadn't been, maybe they were her hopes for what might have been.
David couldn't help but notice that there was no one at his mother's funeral that she truly cared about. No best friend, no husband or companion for that matter. Only him. Sure, her funeral was a packed house. Many of the firm's clients had shown up and most of the staff, but no one beside him, who truly loved her. David didn't just mourn his mother's death that day. He mourned her life. He mourned a life that had been so dependent upon another person for so many years, that she had never truly learned how to have a life of her own. And, just when he thought the pain in his heart had become unbearable, Bridget walked in. He had been such a bastard towards her he truly had not expected her to be there. But she was. It occurred to him that she probably only came out of duty to her husband. Stephen was an Associate at the firm and he like everyone else from the firm that showed up knew their presence there would go a long way.
Bridget and Stephen approached David at the end of the services.
"I'm so sorry David.
"David, I'm so very sorry."
Bridget hugged David and for a moment he thought his heart actually stopped. Suddenly nothing at all but this moment mattered; not his mother's death, his practice, not even the fact that Bridget's husband was standing right there with them. At that very moment David would have traded every single thing that he owned in the world and even the next, just to be able to hold onto her for even 5 minutes longer.
Not long after his mother's death, David threw himself into his work and when he wasn't working he was sleeping with anyone and everyone who would have him. He mourned both the loss of his mother and the loss of Bridget with work and sex. Most of the women he encountered he dropped quickly. One in particular, however, was relentless and endeared herself to David, if only as a means to occupy his sleepless nights. Then he realized she could serve another purpose.
"I was thinking maybe we would invite one of my associates, Stephen Martin and his wife Bridget over for dinner."
"Bridget. Oh yeah. Isn't she your former secretary. She's the one that married your mentor, right?"
Gwen knew full well who Bridget was. She saw the look on his face whenever her name was mentioned and even if she missed that, she could never have missed the fact that it was her name that he often called out in the middle of the night.
"I'll do all the cooking myself," Gwen offered.
"You sure about that? We can always cater it."
"No, David. Catering at home is so impersonal. I'll cook. I haven't cooked in so long, I think I might actually enjoy it."
"Okay. Go for it."
David invited both Stephen and Bridget over for dinner. He told Stephen it was a way of thanking him for all of the extra work he had been putting in at the office and also to apologize for being so difficult with Bridget right before she resigned. He knew that would smooth the way for Bridget to accept, since he was sure the last thing she wanted to do was to spend an evening with him. But, he had to do something. If he thought he spent too much time thinking about her when they worked together, it had gotten even worse since she had resigned.
Bridget and Stephen arrived promptly at 8:00.
"They're here David. They're here!"
Gwen had been more excited than even he was all week. David assumed it was because she was excited about demonstrating her culinary talents. He couldn't have been more wrong. In fact, Gwen was chomping at the bit to see Bridget, up close and personal. He knew she had David by the balls, and how. She just wanted to see what it was Bridget had that she didn't. David was the catch of the century in their circle of friends. Gwen had been introduced to him by his mother. She knew that he had had a string of women before her, because news traveled fast, but for whatever reason, he had stuck with her for a while now. As she saw it, she had gotten closer to him than anyone, that is, except for Bridget. And, she wanted to eyeball her competition.
David answered the door, since Gwen was putting the finishing touches on the meal she had prepared.
"Gwen, this is Stephen and his wife Bridget."
Even now, the word wife got stuck in his throat when he said it in reference to Bridget and Stephen. Still, he genuinely liked and respected Stephen. But, his feelings for Bridget far outweighed his association with Stephen.
"Hi Bridget, Stephen. It's so nice to meet you."
I hope you're both hungry. We've got baby greens with balsamic dressing, roasted lamb leg, provencal sauce and tapenade and I made tiramisu for dessert.
"Wow, Bridget said. You made all of this? I'm impressed. I have to admit I'm a terrible cook?"
"Don't believe her," Stephen said. She's greatly exaggerating."
"I have no doubt that she probably is," David offered.
As much as Gwen wanted to dislike Bridget, she couldn't help but like her. She was honest; that was the only way to describe her. There seemed to be no pretense with her. She was beautiful and probably could have gotten any man she wanted, but Gwen could tell there wasn't a narcissistic bone in her body. Under better circumstances Gwen thought that she might actually have liked her. However, considering the fact that the man she wanted to eventually married was in love with this woman, she couldn't let her guard down long enough to like her. She tried to tolerate her at best.
"So Bridget, what are you doing now that you're not at McDonnell," Gwen asked.
Bridget stifled a giggle, looking at Stephen.
"Actually, Stephen and I have been trying to get pregnant, so that's been occupying a lot of my thoughts and time."
Bridget couldn't help but think of what her and Stephen had done before they arrived at David's house. Bridget had taken her temperature and since she was ovulating and they were due at David's and hadn't gotten a chance to at home, the two of them had had a quicky in their car on the way there.
"You're such newlyweds," Gwen commented with a smile.
The smile was actually joy at knowing that sometime soon Bridget would be pregnant.
"You guys are trying to have a baby already," David questioned. "Isn't that a little quick. Don't you want to spend some time getting to know each other before you add a baby to the mix?"
Stephen and Bridget assumed that David was guarding the level of commitment of his best associate. Gwen, on the other hand, could see inside David's mind; a baby would further seal the commitment the two had made to one another.
"Don't worry," I'll still be on top of our cases," Stephen assured him.
"Yeah David. I plan on having lots of babies, so Stephen will need to stay REAL committed to take care of his barefoot and pregnant wife," Bridget laughed.
Everyone at the table was laughing, except David.
Stephen was a doting husband, but if a stranger had walked into the house that night, they would have been hard-pressed to point out who indeed was Bridget's actual husband. David spent so much time paying attention to Bridget it was as though Gwen didn't even exist.
"So Gwen, do you live here in the city?" "Actually. . . I guess, it's okay, huh David. . . Actually, I'm moving in with David this weekend. I spend so much time over here anyway, David and I just decided last week to make the situation more permanent."
"Wow! Congratulations," Bridget said with a little bit too much bravado!
Bridget wasn't sure why, but for just a second, she thought she felt. . . jealous. She couldn't figure out for the life of her where that had come from. If anything, she should be happy that David had found someone, finally. She often wondered why he was alone and now he had someone in his life. Maybe, he would loosen up now; start enjoying life.
"Good for you two," she said. "David needs someone to keep him on his toes."
"Yeah. I knew something was up when he stopped doing all those all-nighters. Although, I guess now that may mean that I'LL be doing those all-nighters. Sorry honey," Stephen said.
Gwen wondered if Stephen noticed David stealing glances at Bridget throughout dinner and though usually annoyed when David and his colleagues took to David's office to discuss business, she was actually relieved when he and Stephen finished dessert and decided to go to David's office and discuss a brief they were in the midst of working on. Gwen reasoned that she would much rather he shift his focus to anything other than Bridget.
"Gwen, did you have anything to do with the nice new touches I've noticed in David's apartment. This apartment has always been very nice, but it now has that little bit extra. . . a woman's touch."
"Oh, I didn't realize you had been here before."
"Only a couple of times when I was working with David at McDonnell. But, it's much nicer now. Some nice textures and colors to go with all that leather, stainless steel and glass."
"It was David's idea. He thought I should make it feel more like home for myself. So, I took the ball and ran with it. Sometimes, though, I don't think he likes it all that much.
"Are you kidding. I love flowered curtains in my office. That was the only thing missing," David shouted sarcastically from his office.
"I thought you and Stephen were discussing business, why are you listening to what Bridget and I are discussing. Nosy. Don't worry we're not talking about you two."
David got up from his seat in the office and went to the bar and retrieved a bottle of Scotch. Gwen enjoyed David's company but she absolutely hated it when he drank. When she first met him he drank quite a bit, but she hadn't seen him drink more than a glass of wine at dinner for the past several months. Once she saw him grab that bottle of scotch she knew this was not going to be a one cocktail night.
David returned to his office with the bottle and offered Stephen a glass. The two sat discussing their newest client, when Stephen suddenly realized the latest version of the brief he was supposed to bring with him was on a disc in his office.
"I'll go get it," Stephen offered.
Gwen and Bridget were in the kitchen discussing the apartment and Stephen and David's colleagues when they heard the front door open.
"Stephen, where on earth are you going," Gwen asked.
"I left the disc that I was supposed to bring tonight in my office. I'll be right back."
"No Stephen," Bridget said. "Go, sit down with David. I'll go get it.
"Do you need my card key," Stephen asked.
"No I still have mine. That is if SOMEBODY didn't have it deactivated."
"No, it's not deactivated," he lied.
In truth, he had had the card deactivated the moment she resigned. He didn't tell her that now because they were having such a good time together and he didn't want her to start hating him again. He was only 20 blocks away from the office and decided, instead, to jump in a cab and zoom over to the office, under the pretense that she didn't have the key to his inner office; or at least that was what he was going to tell Bridget. He would tell Gwen and Stephen something else entirely different.
"We're out of scotch. I'm going to go to the liquor store on Broadway and get a bottle. Okay?"
"At this hour," Gwen asked?
"Yeah. It's 11:00 PM on a Friday in Manhattan. There should most definitely be a liquor store open. I'll be right back."
"Okay."
For a split second it crossed Gwen's mind that Bridget's and David's exits could have been a ploy so that they could be alone together. But, she reasoned that her intuition was pretty good and nothing she had seen tonight indicated that David's feelings for Bridget were anything other than one-sided.
"Oh my God David, you scared the life out of me!"
Bridget practically jumped out of her skin when David tapped her on the shoulder, announcing his presence. He had hoped to get to the office before she tried her card key, but he had been too late.
"So, I see you DID deactivate my key. You could have told me that. I wouldn't have taken it personally."
"No, it's not that. I think the new person deactivated, just because it's procedure and all."
Bridget didn't believe a word he said, especially considering how she left the firm.
"Yeah. Okay," was all she said. "I guess I might as well leave since you're here and all."
"No, we can go back to my house together. Stephen will be there waiting for you. Just give me a second to get that disc."
David opened the outer doors to the building and pressed the button for the elevator. Enclosed in the elevator with Bridget, the scent of her perfume filled the small space, invading his nostrils and leaving him higher than the drinks he had had earlier. Watching her walk down the hall after they exited the elevator, her hips swaying thanks to the height of her 4 inch pumps, David was more aroused than he could ever remember himself feeling. He had a raging hard-on and the scotch, despite the night air which had diminished the effect of the alcohol, only served to increase his desire for her. Once inside, Bridget made her way to Stephen's office to get the disc.
"I'll go get the disc and meet you in the lobby. Okay?"
"Okay. I just need to look for a hard copy in my office, real quick."
Bridget quickly found the disc and was about to return to the lobby when she heard noises coming from David's office. She walked in, saw the look of what appeared to be agony on his face and for a moment thought that he might be having a heart attack or something. By the time she got close enough to him, she realized his pants were undone and he was holding his penis in his hand and jerking off. As she turned to quickly leave the office, David grabbed her from behind. He initially just wanted to explain, but holding her close to him, his penis gently rubbing against her warm thighs, he was even more aroused.
"Oh God Bridget! I miss you so much. I don' think I can live without you!"
"David stop it! What are you talking about. I'm married to Stephen. You can't do this. What about Gwen!"
"What about her! She means nothing to me! It's always been you that I want! Always!"
"David stop it!"
Bridget's struggles and her words were all in vain. David was bigger, stronger and he was overcome with desire for her. He turned her around, pulling at her dress, ripping open the buttons. The sight of her naked before him was more than he could stand. He lifted her body in his arms like a rag doll, sucking at her breasts, licking her nipples. Bridget was powerless to stop him. He gripped her body tightly to him and entered her. So enraptured with being inside of her, Bridget's protests fell on deaf ears. When he was done he held Bridget's motionless body to him. Neither of them said a word, before she finally crumpled to the floor in a heap and just laid there. Looking at the scene before him from a distance and with a clearer head, David could not believe what he had done. He attempted to console Bridget but each time he reached for her she cried out or whimpered and he decided it was best to keep his distance. Instead, he mentioned that they should probably get going as Stephen and Gwen would be waiting for them. That was the first time she spoke.
"Oh my God! What am I going to tell Stephen!"
"I'll take you home," was all he could say.
While Bridget tried her best to put her dress bag on despite the buttons that had been ripped from the top, David handed her his suit jacket. He called a company car and rode with her first to her apartment to make sure that she got inside safely and then he had the driver stop at a liquor store so he could have an explainable decoy, then he had the driver drop him home. When he walked in Gwen was sitting in the kitchen, pissed as hell and Stephen, thanks to the scotch, the heavy food and his long hours of work throughout the week, was asleep in David's office. He woke up looking for Bridget, surprised to see she hadn't returned.
"Where is Bridget, didn't she come back yet," he asked?
"She called. She got sick coming out of the office and decided to get in a cab and go straight home. I told her not to worry about the disc. We'll deal with the brief on Monday. Why don't you go home to your wife."
"Is she okay," Stephen asked.
"I'm sure she's fine. But she's probably waiting for you."
Gwen looked from David to Stephen and for a moment considered saying something to Stephen. After all, what did she have to lose. She was no fool, she knew exactly what had gone on here tonight. Instead she sat in silence. She truly felt sorry for Stephen. He seemed like a nice guy; a nice guy that was going to get his heart broken.
David watched Gwen's eyes, well tuned in to what she was thinking and prepared to stop her from opening her mouth if need be. As soon as Stephen had left and the door was closed David spoke.
"You know what Gwendolyn, you and I both know this is going nowhere. Don't you think it's best to just end it right here and now and not drag this out endlessly until we both hate each other. Because, I gotta' tell you, I think I'm close to being there."
"You have the nerve to turn this around on me and act like you're angry AT ME. Then again, I guess you are angry. You're angry at anyone that's not her. You know what David, fuck you. You're nothing, less than nothing and you use that firm and your wealth as a means to qualify yourself. You're a small, sad little man and that attractive exterior you have now will soon be gone. I mean, do really think your looks are gonna' last forever. You're what; 50 years old. You're going to end up old, sad and alone. I just hope I get to see it so I can tell you I told you so."
"Don't worry, you won't be. You'll be somewhere, sucking somebody's dick to 'qualify' yourself honey."
"Don't kid yourself into believing she could ever love you. She loves that nice young, successful husband she's got. What on earth could you offer her that he can't. You've got her by at least 20 years. Do you really think she wants to take care of you in your old age.
And, with that she stormed out of David's apartment, but not before tossing a vase to the floor and breaking it.
1:27 PM
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