The Final Idol Update
Current mood: catalyzed
Category: Music
I almost forgot to do this....
In order, from best to worst:
1. David Archuleta The Care Bear wins the night, but loses the contest. In all reality, his version of "Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me" was truly amazing and probably one of the high moments in the show's history. I have feared all season that Arculeta would win the competition whether he deserved to or not. I think there has been a general public backlash from people who thought the same way. Ironically, David probably does deserve to win....and won't. Thank God. He seems like a good enough guy, but it's just way too Disney for me.
2. David Cook An undeserving David will win the show, just not the one I thought. It's not like he wasn't good last night, Archuleta was just undeniably better. Damn, I hate admitting that.
Thanks for reading. I'll see you next year.
- Justin
Currently
listening
:
Sleepy Eyed
By
Buffalo Tom
Release date: 1995-07-11
I think it's obvious that Syesha is going home tonight, but it's really not fair. I think she won the night, and I particularly liked her second song. I think the jazzy songs are exactly what she SHOULD be doing. I don't think it was a "lame cabaret" at all. I think it was pretty damn hot to be honest with you.
2. David Cook / David Archuleta
Well, the stage is set for David vs. David, whether I like it or not. I think David Cook is the likely winner, but he was pitchy and kind of all over the place last night. Archuleta the Boy Wonder was as Disney as anyone could possibly be, but he is undeniably the better singer. It would be nice if he just sang the damn melody for once. In my opinion, he mangled the Billy Joel song with the R&Bish runs. Simple, vulnerable melodies don't need to be messed with. He basically ruined one of my all time favorite songs, again....but damn, he can sing.
Top 4 Idol Update
Current mood: complacent
Category: Music
In order, from best to worst (again):
1. Syesha Mercado I can't believe it (again), but Syesha deserves (again) the top spot this week. To be honest, it wasn't even close (again). She sang her ass off (again) and actually appeared to be human for the majority of both songs (again). Amazing, again. She's reminding me of Elliott Yamin a little bit. She has a rough beginning, finds herself in the bottom three several times but keeps surviving. Watch out.
2. David Cook I didn't love either of these songs, but they were both solid. There is much more I can say about it, sorry.
3. David Archuleta The Care Bear did well enough on the first song, although I think a lot of the runs were unnecessary and indulgent (again). Having said that, the second song was an epic disaster. The judges are utterly deaf (again). It was god-awful, to be honest. David Archuleta is NOT Elvis. He absolutely butchered the melody (again) and made a shit sandwich out of one of the best love songs ever written. He really should go home, just on principle (again.) I am still not over the leather pants either. I have all but completely lost my objectivity with Archuleta (again).
4. Jason Castro This was definitely a subpar night for Jason (again.) The real question is, does he know it yet? I'm grasping at straws to come up with reasons why Jason shouldn't be eliminated, but there really aren't any. His song choice didn't help him, that's for sure. He's still charming though, isn't he (again)? Even when he forgets the words, you find yourself saying "Cut the kid some slack, it's just the drugs." Everyone get high (again)!
Top 5 Idol Update
Current mood: animated
Category: Music
In order, from best to worst:
1. Syesha Mercado I can't believe it, but Syesha really deserves the top spot this week. To be honest, it wasn't even close. She sang her ass off and actually appeared to be human for the majority of both songs. Amazing.
2. David Cook I loved the second song, but I was lukewarm on the first. David actually had some pitch problems on both songs, which is new for him.
3. David Archuleta The boy wonder sings well once again (although undeniably pitchy in spots), but the whole performance had "Christian Rock" written all over it. Someone cue the keyboards and the slap bass. I know that I am losing my objectivity when it comes to Archuleta, but I think it was god-awful. The song choice alone should get him kicked of the show. He sang two iconic songs that should have been left alone.
Side note: Did anyone else see David wearing leather pants last week? I think it was last week anyway. I meant to blog about it but I forgot. Leather pants!!! How can anyone vote for him or take him seriously after that? Unless your name is Bono, Sting, Rob Thomas and a few hair metal superstars....it is NEVER okay to wear leather pants. There are no exceptions. The penalty for such an offense should be a slow and painful death caused by overexposure to the 1990's catalog of Kiss records.
4. Jason Castro This was definitely a subpar night for Jason. When Simon said that Jason would watch the performance back and not recognize himself, I found myself nodding. I agree, but for totally different reasons.
5. Brooke White If David the Boy Wonder was cheesy this week, then what can we say about Brooke's first song? What in the world was she thinking? And what's with the shiny space pants? Her second song was actually quite moving, but it won't save her.
Top 6 Idol Update
Current mood: sick
Category: Music
It was an interesting week, and I'm actually glad I didn't have to endure Kristy this week. She would have been awful trying to sing these songs.
In order, from best to worst:
1. David Cook This performance was vocally perfect. Having said that, it was a little bland and could have used some dramatic indulgence.
2. Jason Castro I have always been intrigued by men singing songs that were made notable by females. I loved this performance. It was remarkably in tune and nobody feels it like Jason. I know, I'm starting to sound like a broken record on this.
3. David Archuleta David sang his ass off once again, but I couldn't help feeling that I was lost in a 1994 Jon Secada video. Luckily for David, Jon Secada kicks ass.
4. Syesha Mercado Who knew?! Syesha can rock Broadway all day.
5. Brooke White I have her above Carly, but only because I believe her when she sings. If only she was less irritating when she spoke, things would be great.
Stopping and re-starting a performance is a cardinal sin and should never happen. Now, is anyone else amazed at how the band never sounded like a train wreck trying to follow this madness? The Idol band is amazing beyond belief.
6. Carly Smithson Despite Brooke, I believe that Carly should go home this week (and thus ruin my original prediction). I try to go by my first reaction when I watch this stuff, and my first reaction was that this performace was awkward and annoying. I simply didn't get this at all. Sorry.
Top 7 Idol Update
Current mood: adventurous
Category: Music
This was a tough week for me, because every single contestant had to break my "don't sing Mariah" rule. It was fun though, and much better than I thought it would be. I am excited to see the diva herself sing tomorrow night, along with my boy Elliott Yamin. He's still the best vocalist I've ever seen compete on this show.
In order, from best to worst:
1. David Archuleta So yeah, David Cook was bold and original and Jason Castro felt it like no one else could, but David Archuleta won the night for me. Mariah is mostly known for her amazing voice. In fact, the world might never know a singer like pre-crack Mariah Carey circa 1994. If it's about the vocals and nothing else, David wins it in a walk because he sang the holy bajeesus out of this song. I am one critical bastard, and this performance was literally perfect. It was Disney as hell, and corny is an understatement. It doesn't matter though, the kid can sing.
2. Jason Castro Once again, Jason just feels it. He makes me feel it. What else can you really say? Everybody get high!
3. David Cook I'm scratching my head with this one. I liked it, and more than a little. Having said that, I'm not sure why all three judges unanimously loved this performance. I might have to watch the tape a few more times and see if anything comes to me. I give it a solid B+, but it makes me wonder if I might be missing something. It was NOT a perfect vocal and I found the ending to be a little anti-climactic. It was definitely bold and daring, but...yeah. I don't know. Sorry.
4. Carly Smithson Despite the fact that she should have been eliminated last week, Carly came back and did pretty well. I am glad she covered up the hideous tattoo, because she's actually rather cute when your eyes can focus on something else. Mariah Carey songs are actually perfect for her, with big chorus sections and not a lot of crazy chord subtitutions and modulation. Still, she should never sing Mariah Carey on this show again. No one should, not ever.
5. Syesha Mercado I think Syesha was dumb to pick this song. I actually predict that Syesha will probably be eliminated because of this, but she really shouldn't. It was far from perfect, but she sang the song pretty well. She's in the red, once again.
6.Kristy Lee Cook I am fairly confident that Kristy will be safe this week. It was far from perfect, but she really stepped up in the last part of the song. She's fighting for her life every single week, and I love that.
7. Brooke White Brooke deserves to go this week, but I think it will be Syesha because she sang a song that no one is going to remember. I already forget, in fact. Brooke sang poorly, and her piano playing hurt her near the end of the song when the tempo accelarated dramatically. She picked the only song she could, and she sang it just well enough to let her personality carry her.
If only the show was about who SHOULD go. They should just let me handle the eliminations every week. The show would be much better. You know, for me I mean. I'm just saying.
Tope 8 Idol Update (...a little late)
Current mood: annoyed
Category: Music
I'm sorry this blog is coming so late, but I was travcling and couldn't get to my computer. I am going to write this blog as if I didn't know what happened, at least to the extent that I can. I have yet to watch the results show, but I heard about it. I will try to keep my venting about the CRIME that took place last week to a bare minimum.
In order, from best to worst:
1. Jason Castro When you look at the totality of his performances over the last several weeks, the word "dominant" comes to my mind. He is never out of tune or out of time, and despite the fact that Jason is clearly stoned 100% of the time, he can sell a song better than anyone in the history of this show. He makes you believe him.
2. David Archuleta He was pitchy and nasal in parts, but the ending was remarkable. I find myself rooting for David to suck, and I don't know why. It's not so much David himself, it's more like the people who adore him that irritate me. He's like a poor man's Elliott Yamin. He has a better look, but his ten years away from having the voice. He is actually shorter than Elliott too, which is amazing to me. My basis for comparison comes from the fact that I have stood next to Elliott and I have watched both men stand next to Ryan Seacrest.
3.Kristy Lee Cook As long as Kristy can do county/american songs, she will have a fighting chance. It's amazing that this girl wasn't eliminated MONTHS ago. You have to give credit where credit is due, and she sang the daylights out of this song. She knew she had to step up, and she came with it. Props to her for being the scrappy competitor.
4. David Cook The verse sections in the low vocal register simply weren't working. Also, I couldn't stand the falsetto/head voice parts and I have no idea what Randy (check my profile video for a great clip of Randy as a member of Journey) and Paula are thinking with this. It's as if they like that style of singing in general and they don't seem to care if the singer is weak and breathy. Having said that, when David sings in the upper chest range, he is probably the best rock singer that has ever been on the show.
5. Syesha Mercado Syesha is in red again. It's not because I think she will or should go home, it's just because she is clearly an idiot. DO NOT under any circumstances go on national television and attempt to sing songs by Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, Fantasia, Stevie Wonder, George Michael, Donny Hathaway, Brian McKnight, Donna Summer, Michael Jackson, Roberta Flack, and so on. The fact that she actually sang the song pretty well is beside the point. It was pale in comparison.
6. Michael Johns Dream On??? Really??? Please add Steven Tyler to the above Syesha list. It was actually pretty great until the ending. I didn't know he could sing that high in the first place, and it was impressive that he got as close as he did. However, it was simply not close enough. If you are going to do an iconic song like this, you must take it to church. It's already bad enough that he had to go first, which is always a bad sign on this show. I will honestly miss hearing Michael sing. I still think he is the true "star" of the bunch and I hope he finds himself as the frontman of an up and coming band. This show was probably his last chance to make it under the power of his own name, and it's a shame that Idol voters don't seem to know their ass from their elbow this year. Let's have a moment of silence and give this man a minute.
..
R.I.P. Michael.
7. Brooke White I almost feel that Brooke was sick this week. She felt the song and delivered the kind of performance that has taken her this far, but her vocal was just a disaster. I have never heard her have pitch problems like this in the past. I'm not sure what was going on. It was not "pleasant," as Simon put it. It was a mess.
8. Carly Smithson To be fair to Carly, this song is a 10 out of 10 on the degree of difficulty scale. Having said that, Carly was awful. It was pitchy, it was angry, it was manic and it just didn't make any sense. She is not the right singer for this song. She doesn't handle modulation and chord substitutions well at all, and she deserves to go home this week. Please add "Freddy Mercury" to the Syesha list.
Once again, we’ve got four guys at the top with a legitimate chance to win...and everyone else.
In order, from best to worst:
1. Michael Johns If he sings the way he can, Michael Johns should win this competition. Archuletta and Cook are fine singers, but Michael can take his voice to places where he cannot be followed. Johns and Cook are the only true stars on this show.
2. Jason Castro AGAIN, I think the judges are deaf. Jason was high as a kite, but he sang with more emotion than all of the other singers put together. The whole thing was just bizarre. This guy knows how to sell a performance, that’s for sure.
3. David Archuleta I don’t think he was quite as good as the judges seemed to think, but he definitely redeemed himself for last week. There is an undeniable purity to his voice, and he is going to be really, really great someday. He bothers me though. I’m not sure what it is.
4. David Cook David sings his ass off every single week. You can’t argue with that. While Randy and Paula loved the falsetto parts, I actually hated them. They were breathy and didn’t have any power. Having said that, he was great overall. He could sing Sesame Street and make it a hit.
5. Brooke White I love her when she sings, but I can’t stand her when she talks. The Hillary Clinton mannerisms (the pointing, the head bobbing, the "thank you, thank you, thank you," the eyes popping out of her head) are just too much for me.
6. Carly Smithson Carly needs to get some personality, dress better and get the tattoos removed. I’m just saying. She can sing though, there is no doubt about that.
7.Kristy Lee Cook This was the perfect week for Kristy, and she’ll be safe. In the immediate future, she is in serious trouble. She looked hot when she sang for Dolly, but for her actual performance the hair was overdone and her dress was hideous. Let’s not talk about her singing, because that’s not why she’s still here.
8. Syesha Mercado I had picked Syesha to go home tonight until I watched the performances again and realized how bad Ramiele actually was. Still, someone needs to bitch slap Syesha. How vacant must you be to sing such a song? Are you serious? I have been watching this show for three years and it NEVER goes well. The contestants fall on their face every single time. For all of my readers who might eventually compete on this show: Do not, EVER, under any circumstances attempt to sing a Whitney Houston track on national television. Syesha really deserves to go home, just for being an idiot. Ughh. I’m putting them both in red.
9. Ramiele Malubay Pure karaoke. Can we finally dispense with this girl? I apologize profusely for thinking that this girl could be top six material. Gross. She is hot though, until she speaks.
Top 10 Idol Update
Current mood: animated
Category: Music
I am thrilled that I was wrong last week and that Amanda is gone. THANK YOU. It is now terribly obvious that there are four men that have a legitimate case to be the winner, while the women just can’t hang this year.
In order, from best (it’s all relative, remember) to worst: 1. David Cook I don’t think he sang quite as well as Michael Johns did, but this performance was truly amazing. Never in a million years did I think I’d hear an arrangement like that. This guy is obviously a great musician in addition to being a great singer. If the competition ended today, David Cook deserves to win.
2. Michael Johns I feel quite vindicated after last night. People were saying I was crazy for picking Michael Johns to be in the finale episode, but I KNEW he could do this. There is no question in my mind that he is potentially the strongest vocalist and most dominant performer on this show. He reminds me of Eddie Vedder and Michael Hutchence somehow fused into one person.
3. Jason Castro Again, I think the judges are deaf. This was an emotional performance and not a single note was out of tune. I am really beginning to like this guy. Did anyone else think that he was at least twice as stoned as usual last night??
4. Brooke White I am putting Brooke in the "4" spot because the beginning of her song (despite the mistake) was pretty amazing and musically innovative. The rest of the song was a complete mess, but the beginning is what I will remember.
5. David Archuleta Cheesy. I’m sorry but the song was just horrible. Simon was absolutely right with the "theme park" comment. It was painfully Disney, and he didn’t even sing it particularly well.
6. Syesha Mercado I actually had to watch this performance again just to say something intelligent about it. It was okay, but it was not nearly as good as the judges gave her credit for and she is NOT any sort of dark horse. I promise you, she will be gone in short order. Utterly forgettable.
7. Carly Smithson When I heard "Total Eclipse of The Heart," I immediately thought that this would be the perfect song for her. It wasn’t bad, but it was a huge disappointment.
8. Chikeze Eze I thought he was much better than the judges gave him credit for. He has incredibly vocal tone when he is able to sing in tune. Unfortunately, he needs to sing in tune more often.
9.Kristy Lee Cook I laughed out loud when I heard the first few notes of this song. She is pretty much guaranteed to stick around for another week, and good for her I guess. 10. Ramiele Malubay I am embarassed that I put this girl in my Top 6 when I made my predictions last month. She wasn’t horrible last night, but she is just not good enough.
Top 11 Idol Update
Current mood: blank
Category: Music
What a mess....
In order, from best (it’s all relative, remember) to worst:
1. David Archuleta The kid deserved it this week, he sang his ass off. Randy wanted more runs and frills, but the song didn’t call for it and he was smart to keep it chill. 2. David Cook Running in my "2" spot for the second straight week, David might have the best chance to stop the Archuleta insanity. 3. Carly Smithson I thought this was her best performance so far. It wasn’t forced or screechy, and she showed great poise in her low register. 4. Jason Castro I love this guy because he is the only performer in the bunch that knows how to sell an emotional song. He has more power in his upper register than I realized, and he sings with an unbelievable sense of vulnerability that really seems to connect with the audience.
5. Chikeze Eze I am beginning to like this guy. He may not be the best pure vocalist, but he has a knack for arrangement and he might last a little longer than I had originally imagined.
6. Michael Johns This was not his best week, but Johns still dominated the stage. I believe that he has the best natural vocal tone of the group, he just needs to be a little more crafty with his song choice. 7. Brooke White I know the judges hated her performance, but I actually liked it. There is something about this girl that annoys me even more than I can fully express, but she is proving to be a capable singer. The dancing was horrible, but I think she did the song some justice.
8. Syesha Mercado Okay, so she was more emotional this week. She connected with the song, and that’s great. Can we excuse the fact that the first 30 seconds were painfully out of tune?
9. Ramiele Malubay I am beginning to wonder why I picked this girl to be in the top five. She was hideous last night. Bad, bad, bad.
10. Amanda Overmyer Amanda was embarassing last night. Awful. Sharrrrrrrp, and painfully so. She deserves to go home, and I hope she does. However, it’s difficult to see this happening....yet.
12.Kristy Lee Cook For the first time in weeks, Kristy does NOT deserve to go home this week. Unfortunately for her, her best performance of the year is still not terribly great. Amanda should be the one going home, but it will be Kristy.
Top 12 Idol Update
Current mood: artistic
Category: Music
Here is the rundown from last night...
In order, from best to worst:
1. Jason Castro The judges are apparently deaf, because I thought this was his best performance so far.
2. David Cook I completely agree with Simon that David would have a legitimate chance to win if talent was the most important factor.
3. Michael Johns This guy just continues to impress me. He has the only legitimate rock star potential in the entire group. With all these prissy tenors, this guy actually sounds like a guy.
4. Carly Smithson She sang her ass off, but I actually thought the vocal arrangement was a little overdone. Just sing the melody.
5. Chikeze Eze With easily the most entertaining performance of the night, Chikeze surprised me. I expected him to tank this week, and I honestly didn’t think he deserved to make it through last week.
6. Brooke White Something about this girl really bothers me. Is anyone else reminded of Hillary Clinton when she talks? She bobs and shakes her head the entire time she is speaking, and her eyes literally almost pop out of her skull when she says "thank you, thank you!" over and over and over. She may have given an emotional performance, but don’t you get the feeling that it had nothing to do with the song? She was crying for no discernable reason. I was crying because her vocal on "Let It Be" was a mess.
7. Amanda Overmyer I hate hate hate hate hate this style of singing. I can’t stand this girl’s voice and want her to go home immediately. I am even more irritated because her performance was actually pretty good.
8. David Archuleta You could make a great case that David should go home this week. This is what irks me about him! He is going to win this competition whether he deserves to (and he might) or not. He forgot the words in three spots, was a pitchy mess, and just generally fell on his head. It is inconsequential though, because I bet he got three times the votes of everyone else.
9. David Hernandez This guy can actually sing, but the reason why he chose this song is a complete mystery to me.
10. Ramiele Malubay Please sing better. Could you?
11. Kristy Lee Cook I didn’t think she was THAT bad, in all fairness. I think she is cute and bubbly enough to survive another week.
12. Syesha Mercado I am predicting that Syesha will go home, even though she wasn’t necessarily bad. She was forgettable AND she went first, which is not a good combination. Even though she probably doesn’t deserve it, I think it’s the end of the road for her.
- Justin
Currently
listening
:
Pony Express Record
By
Shudder to Think
Release date: 13 September, 1994
The definitive American Idol 7 predictions.
Current mood: cynical
Category: Parties and Nightlife
Ladies and Gentlemen,
It is that time once again...again. There are twelve contestants left, and I will now save you time and energy by telling you what will happen and allowing you to do something more productive with your life.
While I did get Jordin and Blake backwards last season, I predicted the top five exactly...and that isn't so bad.
For those of you that are too "cool" for American Idol, you're really not. Just sit down and shut up, okay? Thank you.
Before I continue, let's talk about a contestant that should NOT be here. Amanda Overmyer is absolutely terrible and should have been eliminated two weeks ago. In fact, if I were judging this competition (as I should be, of course) she wouldn't even have made it to Hollywood Week. Awful. I can't stand that style of singing.
I also don't think that Danny Noriega deserved to go home last week. It is even more egregious (for my dedicated readers in the South, this means "really dumb") that Kyle Ensley didn't even make the Top 24. Total bullshit. I think this guy actually had a chance to win. Observe the following:
I do think it's necessary to say...again...that the field is definitely weaker than last year and that last year was weaker than the year before.
Also, I must confess to a third American Idol crush. Yes, it's Kady...and yes, we are currently dating. If only she could sing...
So, without further delay, here are my final American Idol predictions. I will give you the top six in alphabetical order, and then I will predict a winner and runner-up.
David Archuleta
This kid has enormous potential. He's the whole package, although he tends to deviate from the melody and showboat a little too much.
Jason Castro
He doesn't have the best voice necessarily, but he can sing and might be the best of the bunch at selling the emotion of a song.
David Cook
He reminds me of Chris Daughtry, but he may even be a little bit better. Chris got into trouble when he had to sing outside his genre, and David has already proven that he can do that in dominant fashion.
Michael Johns
He has fantastic presence and charisma, with a huge baritone voice. This guy is everything a rock star should be, but isn't this AMERICAN idol? Damn Australians.
Ramiele Malubay
She has a fantastic voice and would have been the Season 7 crush were it not for her consistently horrible pants. Seriously, they're really bad.
Carly Smithson
She has a HUGE voice but is lacking a bit in the personality department. If she could sing a Heart song every week, she might have a shot at it.
FINALISTS:
This is really hard this year. I have a feeling that I know who WILL win. Sadly, that doesn't necessarily mean "SHOULD" win. I think the men are decidedly better this year, and the results will reflect that.
RUNNER UP:
It's going to be Michael Johns. I feel that when it's all over, he will have a fantastic case to be named the next American Idol. However, I see something in the air that is similar to what Taylor had working for him in 2005.
WINNER:
I know this isn't a terribly bold prediction, but what can I say? I have a feeling that I will strongly disagree with this result in a few months, because I feel that some of his weaknesses will be exposed. However, I just don't think it matters all that much.
Yes, I predict that barring a catastrophic collapse, David Archuleta will be the last Idol standing. That's what it will take to derail him...a complete meltdown. Hopefully I'm wrong. Hopefully he will be just a little too cute, or maybe another contestant (or contestants) will out-sing him the way I think that they can. There's no doubt that this kid will be great, maybe even great enough to deserve to win. I just hope that he has to earn it and proves that he really is the best singer of the competition.
Currently
listening
:
Car Button Cloth
By
The Lemonheads
Release date: 15 October, 1996
A blog for my brother.
Current mood: touched
Category: Life
North Phoenix, AZ
For those of you that don't already know, my brother Brendan is about to be deployed to the Middle East. Fortunately, he is NOT going to Iraq. He will be in the kingdom of Qatar for the next six months, helping to run the airfield there. There are worse (meaning more dangerous) places to be deployed of course, but this is still a Muslim country where a significant percentage of the population hates Americans.
My brother is a very modest and relaxed guy, and he's always been content to understate things and leave the spotlight to his older brother. Tonight, I want all of my friends to take a look at some of my family's history, particularly that of the best little brother that anyone could possibly ask for. I'm assuming that if you're reading this, you know me or care about me in some way, so please take a minute to write to my brother (or comment if he's already your friend) and tell him what a badass he is.
I used to be a very private person, although I'm not sure why. Even a year ago, I might never have posted this. Regardless, I'm obviously not anymore. This is probably something that a few people will find cheesy or maybe overly dramatic. That's just fine with me. He's my brother, and I only have one. I hope you would do no less for yours.
(Please refresh this page before continuing, so you can see the slideshow from the beginning.)
Brendan,
I know you think all of this isn't such a big deal, but you're wrong about that. It is a big deal, at least it is to me.
It's funny looking back over a lot of these pictures. You probably don't know this, but the oldest clear memory that I have is sitting in the old dining room in West Bridgewater, waiting for you to be born. I remember playing with the old silverware, listening to The Beatles on old 45's. I couldn't understand what was going on but I was sure having a good time. The next day (I think) I remember Dad holding me up so I could see into the room where all of the new babies were sleeping. That was my first look at your ugly mug, in the middle of April, 1981.
I remember kicking your ass a lot over the next few years, it's funny how brothers express affection, isn't it? Actually, you probably didn't find it so funny. I was always the clown, and I loved to make people laugh. Unfortunately, you were the victim of a lot of my pranks. I remember when I came home from college for the summer and within minutes of getting home I had rigged a way to lock you in the bathroom. All you had to say was "Justin is a sex machine" and I would have let you out, but no, you started trying to take apart the door until Mom came home and rescued you.
It wasn't until you went off to college yourself that you and I started to get close, and now you are my number one go-to guy. You're the first person I call for all of my problems, and my best friend. Remember on your 24th birthday when I had fifty girls call your phone all at the same time and leave crazy messages? I remember that you were in a military meeting at the time and couldn't understand why your cell phone was exploding with calls.
Through all the long talks, concerts, new records, ski trips, computer programs, bitching about this girl or that girl, cool movies, road trips and everything else we've been through, time has only made us closer. In my heart I know that no matter how much time the future will allow us, there is simply no way that it could ever be enough.
In all of the time leading up to 30 years old, I can finally separate the things that are truly important from the things that never really were. Some families probably think it's no big deal for someone to miss a Christmas. I guess they just weren't brought up the way we were. Living out of New England has really opened my eyes (and yours too, I'm sure) to how unstable most families really are. For two kids who have basically had everything they ever wanted, it almost seems like another world. I'm sure that's how New Hampshire will feel this year too. North Conway is always great, but it won't be the same without you. I know we will all miss you.
Even so, Mom and Dad can't be too upset. They have raised two kids that never took the path of least resistance. We have always followed our hearts, we were always comfortable in our own skin, comfortable away from home, comfortable being alone, comfortable around people who were different then we were and we have always remained fiercely loyal to our friends and family whether they deserve it or not.
As different as we are, you are 100% my brother. You are smarter than most people, and you know it. You are every bit as stubborn and confident as I am, and your sensitive side might be a little less obvious but it's every bit as deep. You are compassionate, strong and deliberately decisive. When things get crazy, you never panic and you always find a way out of trouble. You are well aware of your weaknesses, but you never use them as an excuse and you are constantly trying to get better at everything you do.
I'm not sure what else I can say. You are probably the most thoroughly decent human being I have ever known, and I am more proud of you than you could possibly imagine.
I love you little brother, keep your head up and come home soon.
catalyzed
cantankerous
complacent
animated
sick
adventurous
annoyed
blank
cynical
touched
