How To Stop Time
Current mood: animated
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural

Pulling yourself out of the mundane, repetitive bullshit of the life that has become your own...  has never been something I've been particularly fantastic at.

But I'm getting better at it.

I will ALWAYS be getting better at it.

That's a part of me I consider highly virtuous and find inner strength from that leads to the confidence face Keep Moving Forward.

With that being said...  even the Hubble Telescope and the Mars probe landing took awhile to reach their destination... 

but once they did... 

Wow...

The knowledge we learned....  The profound amount of understanding we realized we lacked...  it's all so beautiful and wondrous...

at least to those who have eyes to see it.

It's these events and accomplishments that make my life so grand and give me an overwhelming "blessed" sensation that pours from my body, makes the hairs on my arms stand straight up, and warms even the coldest, darkest parts of my soul.

But to get there...  sometimes...

it takes time.

Over the course of the last few years, I've had some MASSIVE changes in my life take place.  After my last relationship, I realized there are things about me and my perception that need much work... much enlightenment...  and much love and consideration...

And Much to be Healed.

No one really knows what really goes on in my little sub-universe that swirls in my brain, the pain, the anger, the sorrow, the pride, the angst, the guilt, the fear, the passion, the desire, the motivation....

The Love.

All these emotions, these waves of thought and energy... they all have their own signature, a pattern to them...  just like the Ocean waves, just like the texture of the sand on the beach as the winds blows across the surface, like a snowflake, like the clouds...  so many patterns, yet, they have their unique attributes that which make them whole.

In my deep and most profound thoughts, I've come to my own conclusion that this universe is comprised of many frequencies, working in synergy to comprise all that we see, touch, hear, smell, taste, and also...

feel.

Although I believe this to be true, there are some difficulties to honing such knowledge for a greater good...

You see...   Frequency is believed by modern science... to be a function of TIME.

1 / t = f

1 / seconds = Hertz (Hz)

so...

what if you stopped time?  what if.... time equals ZERO?

try it on your calculator,  and you'll get an error.

any number divided by zero is NOT equal to zero,

It's equal to infinity.

Infinity....  what is that anyway?  just some word someone made up to describe the indescribable?

Yea... 

pretty much.

When you think of it in relative terms though...  it's beyond our narrow scope of conception.

Consider that a housefly lives roughly 2 weeks.  When we try to swat a fly, we can try to smack that fly in under a second with cat-like reflexes, but consider that humans live to roughly 80 years.. there are over 4,164 weeks in an 8 year span, (counting leap days), so to a fly, it's theorized that the world is passing by 2,082 times faster. When I dodge an accident on the roads of Tampa, I only have a few seconds at the very MOST to react to the situation...  a few seconds to a fly is 6,246 in theoretical perception.  So...  what happens if I wait 6,246 seconds to react to the light turning red up ahead?

Bad things.

To a fly, 80 years must seem like infinity...

to humans...  its the norm.

infinity is defined on dictionary.com as: infinite space, time, or quantity.

It literally means, "more than a lot."

to me... it has always meant "everything".

Everything thing in my little universe, is my perception of "infinity".

I've stopped time, to take a look at just what "everything" is to me.

And I've gained much from doing so...

So now, I'm in the middle of my self-inventory, and I'm sorting it all out based on what I need most right now, and what I need to get rid of... and taking note of those things that I plan on using in the future.

I'm not saying I have it all figured out,

I'm not saying I will be successful,

I'm not saying that I have special powers...

I'm saying that I am going things for myself, with the EXPECTATION of getting better at being Justin.

As rough as things have been lately, there are monumental breakthroughs with my life that I've achieved and am working towards in this very moment.

I am alive, and I am making progress...

I've been seemingly dead inside for so long, I forget how to express my joy, my ambition, my passions.... my love.

I can't hold off time forever though,

So look out,

I'm back in the mix with a whole new momentum.

=o)

6:06 PM - 2 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

The Disheveled Prince of Saint Petersburg
Current mood: tired
Category: Blogging

From time to time, I change the face and content of my profile page...

and I post the old one into a blog before I do it.  I usually accompany the old blog with a little piece about where I am in this moment...  such as I am doing now.

I do this to give myself a "checkpoint" to be able to look back into my old blogs and see where I've come from, where I've been,

and with any luck...

how far I've come.

But wait...

is "traveling far" necessarily always moving to a better place?

I'm afraid it's not.

I take a look at the effed up MESS that my page has become over the past 9 months or so, and I am at a loss as to exactly how I got to this place I'm in right now.

Truth be told...

I've seen much better days.

Summertime has always been historically rough for me, particularly towards the end...  yet I strongly believe that you have to break old patterns and STEP UP in situations where you feel hopeless...  listless...  empty...

and numb.

If this were a multiple choice exam... I'm afraid I'd have to check all the above.

I've fallen into a deep funk these last few months, I think it actually started about March, but slowly and steadily declining ever since.

Before, I was working out 3-4 times a week; I was making good money at work 35-45 hours a week instead of this crazy 40-60 hours a week rollercoaster I've been on lately...  I've been doing some things that I had quit doing for years because I was disciplined enough to stop after I realized they were bad for me, I've been erratic with my personal health and somewhat introverted, despite my peppered adventures with friends and colleagues. 

I keep this smile on my face...  because sometimes, it's easier than dealing with the pain...

and It's a pretty big smile if I do say so myself.

I keep using the word I, and me, and my... and it is getting old being inside my own head all the time, not having the capacity to deal with my own crap, let alone stop and think about other people and their troubles, their triumphs and perspective..

and I feel a deep sense of guilt over that...

because the fact is... I am acting out the very DEFINITION of stupidity.

"Ignorance is not knowing, Stupidity is knowing better, but doing it anyway."

All in all I have a great sense of what I need, and what's good for me, yet I can't seem to bring my vibrations to those levels.  I've trapped myself in this mess, stuck on petty bullshit and trivial issues that keep me bound and blindfolded from the beauty that life is... and it's smothering the wonderful light I have to show this world.

I realize these things...

yet I don't ACT, I don't EMPOWER myself with these great opportunities around me...

and I get down on myself.

I want to be in a better place... but I don't do what it takes to get there...

at least... I haven't been.

I look back and think, "How did I get to these great places I once was?"

How did I get to Bonnaroo?  How did I get to Mexico?  How did I get to speak at my Uncle Jim's funeral?  How did I get to stand up to those which douse my flames?  How did I get to Ultra? How did I get the concepts for Electronic Design?  How did I get to be so popular?

What ever it was...  it's not here now.

Some places you can just jump in your car and drive too, other places you have to FLY.

That's not to say I don't have Lift Off every now and then while I drive...

-grin-

But when I have these days... where I have the next few days off work with nothing that I absolutely MUST do other than maybe some laundry and grocery shopping...  I start getting a bigger better picture of the mess that my life has become... and I realize...

I'm tired.

I'm absolutely exhausted.

I felt this way when I quit doing the "cable man" job, and didn't have any real steady employment for about 3 months.  I recall how worn down I was from being 190% at all times, working 2 full time, VERY physically demanding jobs, sleeping 3 hours a day, eating gas station cuisine and constantly just wanting to burst out into tears because no matter how hard I EVER tried... it was never good enough for anyone.

I came to the realization that it was all my own fault.

It's not fair to expect others to except less from me just because I don't have anything left to give them, or I'm not giving them my best.  That's what I had to realize in my last relationship... 

Just because I try so hard to be something better...

doesn't mean its working.

In fact, if you ARE trying THAT hard to please everyone...

including yourself...

You're not doing something right.

I want change...  but where I am right in this moment,

I really don't know how to get there.  I don't know what approach to take, what mindset to take up, what to devote my unbridled passions into to get me from point SUCK, FEAR, DOUBT, GUILT to point LOVE, PASSION, JOY, CONTENTMENT.

But I'll find it.

In this place where I am now, it doesn't have enough bars to keep me in forever.

Moving into this new place, and having new opportunities to generate socially, financially, and culturally,

I have the power to change.

I have the power to inherit all that my surrounding have to offer.

I used the word "Prince" very deliberately when named this entry...

Because a Prince will someday become King.

So here is to Royalty.

Salu'te.

====================================================

  Justin Stops Time's Blurbs

About me:

There is this thing..
that happens once a year...
Called ULTRA - it's part of the Winter Music Conference, If you don't know what that is, it's a convention of Techno/Dance/Electronica music that will BLOW YOUR MIND!
It will take place in Miami Florida March 29-30, 2008.
I'll be there,
having the TIME of my LIFE, dancing like I know how...
you should come too,
it's going to be unforgettable.
-grin-

I get on MySpace a lot.
I should be doing more constructive things that sitting here on my ass right now,
I've got a lot of living to do

What I'm doing with my life
Lovin' it!
I guess you could say I'm taking a lot of of "Me Time" right now.
A Lot.

The past year of my life have been filled with the kind of memories that will last a lifetime, and have been a continuous struggle of my spirit simultaneously...
But I'm still trying, I'm still learning... I'm making it somewhere.
From going to Mexico for my first international adventure, to Bonnaroo, Langerado, and Ultra music festivals, to seeing old friends I haven't seen in years, to making new ones... from reconnecting with family, watching my heroes fall and helping pick them back up, to becoming a hero to others... To going back to college for a Masters Degree in Business Administration, to realizing that there are more important things than money.... from realizing my own flaws and changing my ways to better myself and grow...
It's been an amazing ride, and I look forward to each and everyday of life.
I am truly blessed, and infinitely grateful.

I'm really good at
Talking to people, and making connections. I'm good at other boring dork/geek stuff too...
With that being said... talking about electron flow theory has actually got to be something people want to know or hear about.
That rocks my socks.
I could talk about that for EVER.
Since I've posted that statement, I have triggered many very interesting topics and discussions with some awesome people,
keep it coming.
I can dig it.

The first thing(s) people usually notice about me
My Smile, and my hair...
sometimes my massive bulge in my pants.

My favorite books(A), movies(B), music(C), and food(D)
(A) Great Expectations, Anything Mark Twain, Philosophy / Spirituality / Art of Living Type Books, Nintendo Power!
(B) Requiem Of A Dream, Desperado, Clerks II, Snatch, Crank, Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle, Dodgeball, Momento, Boondock Saints, Four Rooms, Kill Bill (I and II), 50 First Dates, many many more...
(C) Pearl Jam, The Beatles, Rage Against the Machine, The John Butler Trio, Jack Johnson, Soundgarden, Nirvana, Metallica, Cake, Jet, Bush, DJ Sasha, John Digweed, techno, Gov't Mule]], Oasis, Pantera, MegaDeth, Kid Rock, Eminem, Staind, Sublime, Guns 'N' Roses, Squirrel Nut Zippers, Dirty Vegas, Rabbit in the Moon, Black Crowes, Sheryl Crow, Stabbing Westward, Radiohead, Los Lobos, Carlos Santana, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Filter, Army Of Anyone, The White Stripes, Tool, Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals, Audioslave, many many many others...
(D) Pasta, Pizza, Chicken!, STEAK!, ALL fruits, MOST Veggies, YUM! Now I'm all hungry... The six things I could never do without My Car (VW for life!), Cell Phone, My 2 Cats, High Speed Internet, (Quality) Hair Conditioner, and really (really really really) loud Stereo.

Something personal about me
In the past few years...
I've learned I CAN do without SEX!
Go me...
Well... I mean... I CAN...
but I COULD jam a fork into my eyeball and eat it too...
It's all a matter of what you WANT to do and what you don't.

I spend a lot of time thinking about
How awesome life really is.
How to keep this train on it's tracks.
How to get better at living life.
How much I LOVE my car...
I went to my first big outdoor concert festival that took place somewhere in the sticks of Tennessee called Manchester.
It's called Bonnaroo
I'll never be the same again.
You should go next year,
It will change your life forever.
It's guaranteed to be a LOT of fun,
especially if you're rolling with ME.
I got to hit Langerado 2008 as well, It was an AWESOME Festival held in the Florida Everglades. I saw a plethera of bands that I used to hear as a kid, R.E.M., Beastie Boys, Arrested Development, 311 was there and Ani Difranco too, but I think my fav act of the whole 4 days was Matisyahu, If you don't know who he is, check him out, he's INCREDIBLE live.

On a typical Friday night I am If I'm not at work, and usually I am... I'd be partying with friends, or thinking about partying while I'm at work.
If I had a girlfriend, I'm sure she'd be on the top of my mind. (insert joke about "girl on top here")
how much more do you really need to know about me?
How much more do you really WANT to know about me?
I'll tell you what...
if you got something you want to know about me,
anything at all...
feel free to ask.
No really,
I'll tell you.

The most private thing I'm willing to admit here
I am willing to admit that I drive a 2002 Volkswagen Beetle Turbo S,
What makes it private is the fact that I stole it.
You can tell by the manner in which it is driven.
-grin-
I miss it terribly however.. it's been going through a complete engine overhaul and has been REAAAAAALLLY fucking expen$ive. But I should be back behind the wheel of it sometime in March.
Until then, I'm rockin' my beater Mazda Protege.

You should message me if
haha
well...
what's stopping you?
If you want to hang out and be friends, and maybe see where it takes us... that is what I am here for.



Always Keep Moving my friends.

8:20 PM - 6 Comments - 12 Kudos - Add Comment

Get Over It
Current mood: grateful
Category: Life

There are 3 words that James Arthur Ray spoke at the seminar he gave last night in front of the 700 people that showed up to hear what he had to say in Tampa.

He spoke of how people create limits for themselves and have issues, known and unknown, holding them back from realizing the enlightened beings we already are.  There are so many things we put contingencies upon…  So many thoughts that thwart our progress…  so many excuses that we have justified the LACK in our lives…

So many reasons we need to be healed…

I had one of the best days of my life yesterday.

Nothing all that spectacular took place, nothing extraordinarily exciting or adventurous…

It was just a great day to be alive.

Yesterday was the first day I've had off in a over a week, working both day and night shifts at 3 different stores on 2 sides of Tampa Bay during some rough times to help them through it and make some extra cash to recoup the expenses of moving and a new front axle.  I slept in most of the day after staying up late with my dude Allen, and having a "guys night" out so to speak.  It was my good friend Billy's birthday, and he asked me to come work out with him before he had to go into work.  On my way to meet him, I stopped and got him a modest gift for the special occasion.  I felt all kinds of awesome being of a giving spirit; I admittedly need far more such occasions in my life.

We had a great workout, and followed it up with getting one of the last 2 car loads of my stuff from my old room at Chris's place.  Yes… it's been a month today that I moved into my new place and I'm STILL not done… Almost, but… well… I've got a million excuses why I haven't finished getting all my stuff out yet…. It's just that now that it's been a whole month, none of them are any good.

I came home to start some laundry and unpack the stuff I'd bought from my old place, and began getting ready for Mr. James Ray to speak live right in my neck of the woods… in a hotel that I've made countless deliveries too.  Strange how different the perspective is when you are a guest and not on someone's time clock…  

He had some many great things to talk about, he pegged so many issues within each of us, within himself, and within society as a whole.  He gave me a terrific sense of worldliness when he shared his thoughts and perspectives as they often mirrored my own.  Considering all the places he has studied and explored, all the cultures he's been exposed to, and all the life lessons that he's experienced, I felt as thought I was doing very well for myself considering I'm just a pizza guy living in a studio apartment, surviving paycheck to paycheck.

There were points of the lecture where I felt as though he were talking directly to me…  he spoke of phenomena such as "zero-point energy" and how everything has "frequency".  He even got into gorey details about the 2 conflicting theories about how energy is transferred.  He spoke of the differences Einstein and Bora have with "Waves vs. Particles" and how the "observer effect theory" works.  FASCINATING STUFF!!!!  And the general crowd of people there didn't show up for a science lesson… yet here he was, discussing all these wonderful topics that I've been mulling over and over in my head for MONTHS now, some of it, only weeks….  But he told what he knew about it on this day…  

I've got to say that's not the first time I've felt like I was EXACTLY where I was meant to be in that instant in time.

Especially…  when he was pitching his "Harmonic Wealth Weekend".

He spoke of "showing the door to success" and how it was up to me to open it… he spoke of how there are blocks that we impose upon ourselves that keep us from realizing our true potential…

Man….

He couldn't be more right.

And it hit me in the face just a few short moments ago…

I was called in for about 2 hours late this morning to help out through a busy lunch rush.  After I got home, I began working on getting "settled in" as I have yet to get all my stuff into my new place, let alone unpack all the boxes… I don't have to be into work until 6pm tonight at my "home" store, so I figured I would knock out some laundry and try to get a little closer to being totally "moved in".

As I sift through all these articles in which I posses, everything I own is now condensed into a space less than 600 square feet…  including many articles of my past… things that I just didn't have the heart to throw away years ago…

I've found old letters from cute girls that used to write me by hand… one actually sent me actual photos through the mail!  What a difference MySpace makes…  

(Where ever you are April Monhollen, I continue to wonder what could have been, haha.)

I found clothes that I've never actually even worn, and old favs, like my black corduroy pants! Score!

I've found many many mementos of many past lives…  from hair clips to photos from theme park rides, to newspapers with pertinent articles of people whom I know…  obituaries…  
But there was one thing in particular, that brought me to my knees…

One of Mom's original Last Will and Testaments.

Most of the content is very dry, blah blah call this person, call that person, Don't forget to feed the cats, and so and so should handle such and such affairs, yadayada…

But then…

There is that one page… with a letter to me.

I was only 15 when she wrote it, and since she had revised it many times as the circumstances to her "estate" had changed dramatically upon the time of her death…

But my grandmother found it and gave it to me because she thought I would want to have it.

"Dear Justin,

My only son, My only child, My best friend, My favorite person, My Inspiration.

I don't even know what to say.  My love for you is beyond words.
You truly have always been my inspiration.  You have truly given me the will to live.  You are the light of my life.

I know you will miss me, but you must carry on.  You are a big brother now, you are also a very gifted young man in very special ways.  Please utilize all that God has given you. God has given you very special qualities that I have always been grateful for.  You are truly blessed.

Please know that I will watch over you always, please also know that I will always love you.

Also, I'll give your Uncle Bobby a hug for you, I'll also tell Kurt Cobain hello.

I am at peace now, I am with God.  I'll be sure to thank God for allowing you to be my son.  I am so proud of you.

With more than love, and with more than words.

Your mom,

Muvs."

I could read it a million times… and be the same blubbering hot mess that I am right now…
I spent so long trying to make her desired to come true… I wanted to make the house that's now in foreclosure proceedings to work…  I wanted to land that great job and have mom tout about how her son works for Intel, or some lucrative Dot Com, I wanted to meet a terrific woman and give her some grandchildren…  there are so many things I want to do…  to make her proud of me…  I don't want to let her down…

Fuck…

But I sat there in a pile of pity, clutching a 13 year old letter in my hand thinking about all the time and energy I spent to make the words on the paper I was reading come true…  about how many "poor me" thoughts came through my mind, how much anger and resentment I had because I was robbed of a mother figure in my adult life… how I'll never get to introduce my future wife to my Mom, how my kids would never have a grandmother…  How hard it was to learn how to walk on my own, because I thought I'd always have Mom back home to lean on if times got tough…  how I lost my safety net…

Then those 3 words hit me…

Square between the eyes.

I began to see the effects…  the injury… the damage done…

And the healing I needed to do.

"Get Over It."

It's something Mom herself would have told me, as she had said many many times in her life.  She would speak about a hard obstacle in her life, and say "Get Over It, Get Over It." As she bounced up and down singing a few lines of the popular The Eagles tune to me.

Get Over It.

We as Americans sit and piss and moan about $4 a gallon for gas when Europe pays about $8 per gallon, we sit and moan because we don't have the glamour lives we see on television, yet OVER HALF the WORLD lives off of about $2 a day!!!!

Seriously….

I've fallen into such traps, I admit it…

But I AM truly blessed…  my life is amazing, my friends are awesome, I LOVE the Tampa Bay area that I live in…

And I'm fortunate to have an incredible mother that's proud of me, in everything I do… that watches over me twenty four seven and loves me… always, and forever.

9:01 AM - 3 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

The Death of a Cable Man
Current mood: tested
Category: Life

6:55 PM - 1 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

Music is Proof of Heaven
Current mood: fascinated
Category: Religion and Philosophy

What if you could change the world?

Yea...

you.

What if... you learned enough about the physical universe...

and you had an understanding of its function, seated deep within your soul?

What if...  you decided that it's time to do something that others tell you can't be done?

What if you started manifesting thoughts and ideas that others claim implausible, or outright impossible?

I came across something a few weeks ago...

Something called "Sympathetic Vibration Physics" or SVP for short.

I'll save the detailed lecture for an audience that may be ready to receive it, but the principals and foundations of these studies are PROFOUND.

LIFE ALTERING AS WELL KNOW IT!

http://www.svpvril.com/

as dry as the subject matter may be to some, these principals and ideas move me in ways that I've never been moved before...

As far as spirituality and religion go, I believe everyone should find their own path, and follow it without doubt or persuasion.  

For me... personally...  ever since I learned the effects of frequency on physical objects back in my Associate Degree program and the manipulation, adaptation... the fundamental ROOTS of what MAKE a frequency exist...  I have believed that all life has it's root with frequency, it always has, and always will.

Think about it...  if you are any kind of science buff, you know that there are different ranges of frequency that the human body detects through sight, sound, and touch.

The antenna off your car is set to a specific length based on the range of frequencies your stereo is able to tune into.  there are invisible frequency waves flying around everywhere at all times, they actually have a length, height and width.  The antennas we use to receive and transmit signals are tuned to be a length based on a derivative value of that specific carrier frequency, a "harmonic", or perhaps an "interval" or "octave" is a better descriptor for the music buffs.  

Click here if you want to get deeper into this tangent subject

Speaking of music...  There are the basic notes used in music theory:

A, B, C, D, E, F, and G

Sure there are sharps, flats, suspended 7th, 3rd and so on, but we use the basic A thru G scale even though we may be describing the sounds at different "octaves", or more accurately, "intervals".  These notes are the same Letter value, yet they sound completely higher or lower at these "octaves"

Does that fact that there are a variety of different lengths for car stereo antennas make any more sense now?

What is truly fascinating to me about frequency is this fundamental truth:

When you combine TWO frequencies, you get FOUR out.

That's right.  You get the two ORIGINAL frequencies you put together in the first place, but THEN you get the SUM of the two AND the DIFFERENCE of the two as well!

So for example, if you have a signal of say 20,000 Hertz, and add a signal of 5,000 Hertz to it, you get the following 4 out:

20,000 Hz --- Original 1
5,000 Hz --- Original 2
25,000 Hz --- (Original 1 + Original 2 = Sum)
15,000 --- (Original 1 - Original 2 = Difference)

Make sense?

The human ear can only detect frequencies between 20-20,000 Hertz.  

Of course this varies from person to person, but these values are a good rule of thumb to use when considering what is audible to the masses.  The way we are able to hear the stations on the radio are through the combination of these audible frequencies and the super high frequencies our stereo tuners use known as "carriers".  

For example, my fav radio station is 97.9 on my stereo dial. (98 Rock baby!) This is tuning in the carrier frequency of 98.7Megahertz, or 98,700,000 Hertz.  even 1 Megahertz is WAY higher than my range of hearing goes (it's in the "ultrasonic" frequency category), but IF my ears COULD hear it, i would hear a steady tone along with all the music, talk and commercials at all times while listening to the radio.  The tone would change only if I changed the station to say... my second fav station, 97X (97.1MegaHertz).  While the 97.1Megahertz tone would be slightly lower, it would probably equally as annoying.  I don't want a constant high pitched sound overlaying everything I listen to on the radio!!!  You probably don't either. So it's a good thing we can't hear it.

The radio stations broadcast at the "Carrier" frequency, and combine there signal (i.e. 97.9Megahertz) with the music from the instruments that emit sounds in our audible hearing range, 20 - 20,000 Hertz, thus we hear the music, which is only sounds that we as humans can hear.

I don't know about you... but I find this whole principal FASCINATING.  

Consider this...

Fiber Optics use lightwaves as there carrier frequencies.

My uncle, THE Jim Botts, was a world famous hairstylist whom also gave motivational speeches and instructional seminars.  He was a brilliant artist, and a fine man.  One of his many "Jim Botts-ism" as we have come to know them was the quote from Sir Issac Newton:

"Color is light divided by a prism known as the visible spectrum of light."

Perhaps you have seen the Pink Floyd shirt with the light ray beaming into the prism and emitting a rainbow?

No?  Where have you been, hiding under a rock?

Moving on...

Again, our human eyes are only capable of seeing a limited spectrum of frequency. The "VISIBLE SPECTRUM OF LIGHT is (very) roughly 400–790 terahertz.  In case you didn't know, 1 Terahertz is equal to 1,000,000,000,000 Hertz.

For more on the VISIBLE SPECTRUM OF LIGHT
A wikipedia except from the above link states:
"The spectrum does not, however, contain all the colors that the human eyes and brain can distinguish. Unsaturated colors such as pink, and purple colors such as magenta are absent, for example, because they can only be made by a mix of multiple wavelengths."

Well how about that...  when we mix frequencies together, we are able to see outside the visible spectrum!

I'm hoping that I am instilling a slight amount of wonder and fascination by now.  I feel a passion burning in ME that I used to get when I looked at my first Playboy magazine as a kid over this subject material.

Yea, I said it.  On Myspace I said it.

So what if... you consider the human ears, as antennas to sound?  Think of the construction of the human ear, and what it's connections are with the brain and nervous system.  Think of what effects music can have on peoples moods and minds (Remember Woodstook '99...).

Think about what effects visual stimulation has on the mind, mood, and body.  Consider that we as humans enjoy the stimulation results from Art galleries, Light Shows, Sunlight in general, and less we forget.. the visual feast of an ideal human form...

These afore mentioned things are ONLY the BEGINNING of what we as humans are capable of!  Yet we live in a world full of LIMITS, where ideas don't always come to fruition, where governing powers often thwart advancement due to the controls of selfish, greedy, evil, fearful beings.

What if you started looking at the world through a 5 sided prism instead of the 3 sides you have always known since birth?  What if you listened for new blends of frequencies you've never exposed yourself too?  What if you could find the resonate frequency of a water molecule and break it apart through electrolysis to use the Hydrogen atoms as fuel for your automobile?

What if you could change the world?

You can.

Think about that the next time you listen to your favorite song and sing along, or play your favorite instrument...

because in MY eyes,

Music is proof of Heaven.

7:55 PM - 6 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

Bonnaroo Reference 2008
Current mood: awake
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes

Bonnaroo is something that I got to experience for my first time last year during the course of my stay with my Uncle Jim in his final months....  had it not been for him, he wouldn't have created such an incredible opportunity for me to go to this magnificient event... 

This year, the circumstances of my life are far different, but it may be a good things is some ways...  I actually feel like I'm not in the places I WANT to be, but in places I allowed the "flow" to take me.  I feel as though I don't have the same control over my own future as I once did...  I lack a certain element of positivity that I once reached into the reserves for when times got tough...  While I still think of myself as a strong and positive person.. I find myself... listless... meloncolly, and down right... lost... at times...

I met up with a few people during my incredible road trip, I mainy hung out with Josh and his friend Stewart, we hung out "like the boys", partied our asses off, had profound conversation and had a pretty good time... Josh is a friend of mine from back in Elementarty School, he brought this real cool dude Stewart with him and we did "Fight For Your Right" by Beastie Boys on the Kareoke Stage while we were TOTTALY Trashed, haha! It was pretty much one of the most incredible experiences of my life, we got all kinds of cheered on and a standing ovation too haha, good times!

But...

everywhere I looked I started seeing things that other people had, that I was lacking in my own life... I try not to be comparative of others and what others have that I don't... but it was everywhere...  Cute couples making out, good friends singing along and having all their little inside jokes, the people with those awesome jobs they can take off to anywhere they want at any time, for however long they like...  Writers, nurses, consultants, teachers, etc..

I'm not a jealous person, so I'm not hating on their great fortune, but I am realizing that I'm not in a place where I am content with myself, my progress, and ultimately,

 ...

MY life.

I've been foreseeing big chances within myself over the past few years, and I truly feel like I am SO CLOSE to breaking out and doing all the things that I want for myself... yet I seem to be my own worst enemy.  I do these things that thwart my progress, and hold me in this place of "lack" and discontentment.

So on the surface, I am a very happy and joyful person.  I get to experience awesome events like Bonnaroo, Ultra, Langerado, and even random local events and activities, I have awesome people I can call my friends, and everything I really NEED to live and be happy (materialistically)... but for a portion of my AMAZING weekend, I saw that I am capable of SO MUCH more. I am capable of experiences that can bring me to levels of joy and happiness I never knew existed.  

So as I recover from my dazed and exhausted state of mind, I will keep myself open to the evolution that my habits have thus thwarted in the past, and rise to new heights, new places that life has in store for my future journey.

Often, I derive an analogy based on my life experiences... sometimes it may seem ridiculous, sometimes, it may be a stroke of pure genius, either way, I feel a sense of cosmic understanding when I can relate 2 total polar opposites and bring them together to make a profound statement.

This weekend... it has to be with my bad ass gangster hat I got  in 2006 at Universal Studios during Halloween Horror Nights in Orlando.

I loved the hat, it's fit, it's color, it's brim style, even the texture of it...

But somewhere along the way after my SUPER KICK ASS Weekend of Jack Johnson, PEARL JAM, Chris Rock, Willie Nelson, BB King, METALLICA, Death Cab for Cutie, and Kenye West, Solomon Burke, Dark Star Orcestra, Motion Potion, Robert Plant and Allison Kraus and MANY many more...  

I lost my awesome hat.

I stumbled around the Bonnaroo farm in hopes of discovering it laying around someplace, or perhaps someone would be kind enough to hang it up in a highly visible location... perhaps even just leave it lie where they spotted it...

Alas... it was never meant to be.

While I gained a new tent, A new "Rave Ball" MANY new appreciations for music and people, a new pair of sandals, new perspectives, new awarenesses, and personal enlightenment...

still...

I lost my wonderful hat that I'd been through so much with.

I admit to often getting a sense of excitement when something of this nature happens... I've admittedly never been good with sunglasses, Hat's, or jewelry of any kind... I often lose these common items and generate feelings of self loathing as a result of my incompetence...

As I grow, (or... "get older" haha) I find that I don't beat myself up as much as I once did, and I accept that I have many areas that I need to improve upon within my "self".  After all, if you are already perfect, whats the point of even getting out of bed?

This hat though...  I will miss it very much.  This hat was the hat I wore throughout my first initial stage of "personal enlightment".  I discovered yoga, meditation, and a profound amount of beautiful and interesting women as I wore this hat...

but...

hmm...

when I put it like that...

I've got a lot of new things to look forward to, with new hats, shoes, sunglasses, and personalities surrounding me.

-grin-

Strange how you can feel so poorly in the current moment about those things that will not matter in a short time later.

Realize what's important, stop and take the time to think about what makes you HAPPY, and do not fear consequences of any serious decisions you make.  No matter what, you will find what you seek if you open yourself to all there is in this life... in this world.

Namaste my friends.

2:21 PM - 2 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

128,718
Current mood: accomplished
Category: Automotive

For the past 9 months, I've had many bouts with keeping my beloved 2002 Volkswagen Beetle Turbo S running...

and many MANY other bouts in years passed...

Lately, I've been depending on a VERY good mechanic...  with no ambition or drive. 

He is EXCELLENT at what he does... it's just getting him to DO it that's the problem.

At any rate, he is much more affordable than just about anyone else because he works for himself, by himself.  He lets me buy my own parts, and gives me "his price" anywhere he can, making the waiting for my cars to be repaired somewhat worth it.

...

Somewhat.

I'd been waiting for him to put my Beetle back together for about 4 months after the original pistons were fried in the second overheated head gasket...  It took me 2 months to get the money together, and 4 months for him to do the work...

but he finally did it, once I showed up at 2 am and we both stayed up till 8am tinkering with it...

it was road worthy again.

So for the first time in over half a year,

I was driving a 6-speed manual transmission once again.

-grin-

There were a few things wrong with her still though... like the body, and the paint... but those are actually the least of my concerns for now.  What I am mostly concerned about, is how well she drives, and how dependable she will be for me to work my delivery gigs in.

In the business I am in, I simply MUST have functioning transport!!!

While I've been riddled with other issues on the car, besides the engine, with things like busting radiator hoses, bad wheel bearings, DESTROYED motor mounts, electrical issues, and even the button for the emergency brake release... I have not given up on bringing her back to "Wow! You're car is awesome!" status.

Yesterday, before work....

I got a few steps closer.

I've been driving the Beetle now for an entire week without any break downs are major problems that prevent me from continuing to drive it for work purposes.  Mostly in part to my rigging the coolant lines and being outright TEDIOUS with researching my cars known issues and correctly identifying the problems it's having.  But I AM driving it again...

and THAT... I'm tickled fucking PINK about!!!

While I still have many parts on hand that need installed, and more coming soon... I had my AWESOME Muffler Shop, Rainbow Muffler (The corner of 28th Street and 38 Ave N in St Pete) lift her into the air, and take a look at some of the issues I need addressed.

That's when I found it...

I haven't had the function of a Speedometer since I first got my car back that faithful night (or... morning?) at 8am...  Mr. Slacker Mechanic hadn't looked hard enough to find the sensor on TOP of the transmission, yet under the motor.  While I agree that it was hard to find, he WAS the one that disconnected it, and he WAS the one that is supposed to know these things...  however I also understand that working till 8am can sometimes lead to a lack of "sharpness"... 

Regardless of the situation, I was rolling around dangerously without a functinoal speedometer.  I recall the main reason I bought the car in the first place...

I was driving down 54 Ave N, the "Kenneth City" area, during my test drive, and remember saying to myself: "It's not very fast... but I like everything else in it."

It was in that moment I looked down at the Speedometer reading 70 Miles per Hour.

NOT a good idea in Kenneth City...

"Holy Shit!" I exclaimed as I switched my foot to the brake instead of the gas pedal.

Had I known how fast I was going, I probably would have been LESS impressed by the cars original quiet, smooth ride.

So for me to not know exactly how fast I was going, and not having drove the car for a few months.. I was flirting with a disaster of getting another ticket...

Back to the muffler shop...

I found the dangling wiring harness and simply CLICK-ed it into place on the existing sensor that was still attached to my transmission,

and just like that...

She had all her senses back.

I'll not forget this moment, and I'll be sure to remind her of what happened at 128,718 miles after shes running like a dream and she's freshly painted.

Sometimes you spin your wheels but you get nowhere, when this happens, you have to remember the fundamentals, you have to go back to what works and realize what doesn't, and change your habits.

You don't have to go down with the ship all the time, if  you keep your wits about you in the clutch moments, you may find that there are means to save both you and the ship itself.  Sometimes we are eager to be heroes and martyrs, yet step back and realize the greater picture.  All REAL Good things have neither a beginning nor an end, but they are always Good.

Just because no one realized your pace, it doesn't mean you aren't making progress.  We can "gauge" how far we have come, by how much others opinions and judgments of us change, but even without a means to compare, we still have to trust our own senses and believe in the unseen.

Miracles happen everyday, be one of them.

7:34 AM - 2 Comments - 4 Kudos - Add Comment

The English Teacher
Current mood: nostalgic
Category: School, College, Greek

Back in the day...

when I was in an "Alternative" High School...

I recall how difficult it was to keep the English Teacher position filled for the principal, Mrs. W.

I recall crazy Mz. Sandler being extremely awesome to me over writing a lot like what I do here on myspace for my required journal entries. 

She was also VERY gracious to me and my gangster ways on several occasions...

but...

that's a whole different blog altogether.

I remember how... "off" she was to begin with...  she actually had Nine Inch Nails stickers on the bumper of her car, and she was CONSTANTLY tweaked out... We never did figure out if she was actually on something or not, but she was never capable of handling ANYTHING calmly.  Especially not teaching her class...

but that's why I liked her.

She went off to some place else, and we had a little bit of a hard time filling Sandler's shoes...  we actually had Mr. Smith, the permanent substitute teacher... but for all subjects.  A rotating substitute teacher...

Anyway...

I remember very well the last woman that filled that spot before I graduated...

finally...

Mrs. Pizzano.

She was strong enough in character to draw her lines upfront, and she got to work early on letting people know the limits... 

The punk ass thugs would talk trash and make threats during class...

No one saw them at school for the next few days after that...

Whatever she had that the others didn't is best described by me as strength of character and confidence.  The kids in high school can be pretty scary...

especially this bunch.

She was able to establish a level of respect and continue in a professional manner at all times.  With these kids??  She was going to last awhile...

I recall how she appreciated me being in her class, and how much great critique she gave me on my writing...  She ended up being a great highlight to the end of my illustrious 5 years of High School... 

As I was nearing the final stretch of getting my diploma, I began speaking a little more candidly with her about personal matters, she was someone who to this day I would still feel like she had been my friend for years... she was a very unique woman.

I can't say I miss being in high school... but I do wonder how things went for some of the friends I've met along the way.  As it turns out, her husband was the City Commissioner, which made her that much more impressive to me.. 

She could have any teaching job she wanted with her husband being who he was and how much control he has over the budgets... yet she chose our school?  The "bad" kids that couldn't hack "real" high school...

A very interesting woman indeed...

Sometimes you meet characters in your life that you never forget...  perhaps it's a position multiple people try to fill, or a single individual.  Either way, the experiences leave an imprint.  I'll not forget how I came to where I am today, but things change as I learn to improve myself.

With fond memories of a time I'm glad is long over with, I'll remember the English Teacher, and the character it takes to be a positive influence on the lives of others.

1:44 AM - 4 Comments - 6 Kudos - Add Comment

Cereal Milk
Current mood: adventurous
Category: Life

Some things change constantly… and some never seem to change at all.  While I'm a firm believer in anything is possible, I have to remember that it is up to us to make it HAPPEN.

With that being said… there are many things that I used to do that I avoid like the plague these days.  I don't jump into serious relationships; I don't make major purchases without thinking about it for a day or two first; I don't work 7 days a week, I don't try to squeeze into an impossible schedules, like 70 hours a week of work, school, dating, yoga classes, and a weekly night out with friends.  I just don't do the crazy shit I once did, and for that I am thankful that I learned my lessons.  Life is good now, life is better than it has ever been…

But…

There are still things that I used to do that still work for me.  Things like lose sleep on special occasions to experience grand life adventures… party my ass off with my close ones before an important meeting the next day, or even take crazy far road trips and meet people I've never met, just be spontaneous… 

While I do realize that these very things that I do may also be the reasons why I haven't changed my lifestyle to fit a more ideal circumstance for having a woman in my life, and the house with the white picket fence, with my 2 cats and a dog that I play with at the park all day on Sundays while eating my health food and drinking interesting supplement shakes and smoothies…

Perhaps I'm just not ready for that yet.

I'm having WAY to much FUN just doing what I do.

Being Gangster.

-grin-

There are some things that I still feel good about doing over and over again.  The habits I have, that bring me joy and unforgettable memories…  the parties, the festivals, the wild nights, the self fulfillment…  the personal conquests of pulling off things that took miracles to make happen…  I love it.  It reminds me of how good it feels just to be ALIVE!

Of all the things to remind me that even though I've come a long way… there are still these things I do to make life worth living…

It was my girl Tigger… and Cereal Milk.

Years ago, when I first moved to Florida, my Mom took care of Tigger and her sister Calico for me while I was in college.  Mom spoiled the 2 cats rotten, so much that every time the refrigerator door opened, the 2 cats would swarm at her ankles and meow until she would hand feed them an entire package of Buddig's lunch meats, at least one a day.  And every time she would pour a bowl of cereal, the cats would linger about until she would finish, place the bowl in front of them on the ground so they could drink the delicious cereal milk from the bowl.

While both Calico and Mom have both passes away since these times… Tigger still swarms at my feet every time the refrigerator door opens, thinking there is a treat for her… I've since tried to maintain a better diet for Tigger, because she is both a lil "big-boned" and her teeth aren't in the best of shape, I still try to give her a little bit of loving and some kind words and vibes as I close the door and walk away with no treats for her…

But the cereal milk…

that's a little different.

It warms my heart to remember Mom spoiling my beautiful cat with her cereal leftovers she would eat every morning, sometimes as a snack as well.  Tigger never forgot that… it's my belief that she actually looks more for the accolade of getting a treat than the actual consumption.  Tigger remembers Mom's methods of spoiling her by giving her treats, and quite possibly believes that if she doesn't at least get the offer for the cereal milk, that she has done something wrong or perhaps is less loved than she was before.

I don't eat cereal NEARLY as often as mom did, nor am I around the house as much to spoil my cats like she did… but the memory Tigger has of Mom was that of a kind, loving, giving person that wanted to make her happy.  Nowadays, every time I pour a bowl of cereal, Tigger is ALL OVER ME, trying to sniff the bowl before I even finish, crying to me as if she wants to tell me something very important…

Actually…

She is…

… ... ... ......

So when I'm finished, I place the bowl in front of Tigger… and she may or may not take a few sips of the milk, but she ALWAYS gives it a good look and a sniff before she walks away to go lay down someplace comfortable…

It's her habit, she remembers what makes her happy, and she keeps doing it because they way it makes her feel.

So while it may be true that:

"If you continue to do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got."

It's also true what Nietzsche stated:

"Be careful when casting out demons lest you cast out the best part of yourself."

One day, Tigger may cut some more weight and eat a little healthier, especially if I can find some better food that she actually likes eating… just like one day, I may quit doing these crazy gangster things like going to Music Festivals, ending up at after-parties for free from tickets given to me by the concession stand owners that I'd just met and sleeping in my car because I don't want to lose my FREE Rock Star parking place right outside, across the street from the venue.

Perhaps when my idea of "fun" changes…

But I've got a lot of living to do…

And a long way to go.

11:59 AM - 6 Comments - 12 Kudos - Add Comment

Not All Who Wander Are Lost
Current mood: blessed
Category: Blogging

I do this every time I change it... but If you read lots of my blogs,

you know this.

I'm way over due for something new...

So here's my profile Description immortalized into textual formation of bloggage.

Word up.

See you all at Langeradooooooooooo

About me: From the dawn of every weekday, till the dusks of the weekend, this body and mind construct a vision of the beauty that is the world. Finding the flaws of this perfect organ is futile and purposeless, for every woman and man that grows tired and angry is only seeing the parts that are shaping a greater, more abundant and resourceful scenario. Hope is all around and it is personal for each individual. The respect for others ideas, values and beliefs in the journeys that are traveled by every life born should is lost only when the source of happiness becomes distorted and distant from the heart. Never forget where happiness comes from and how to stay in a state of self-aware bliss consciousness, and life will correspond to the nature of your song, mountains will move, and people will cater to your every thought and desire. My name is Justin, and I'm not perfect, but I want to leave a positive footprint on those who cross my path, and instill a hope and passion in all mankind that has been instilled in me by some of the greatest beings I've ever encountered. Through self-discovery, yoga, meditation, passion, spirituality, and love I've grown exponentially in that past year, yet I realize that I am but merely scratching the surface of many great things awaiting in the shape of things to come. Looking forward to tomorrow while enjoying today. I thrive on studies of Quantum Physics, Natural Laws, and Psychology. As a result, I have began learning how to perceive myself as a Being rather than the center of my own universe, and as a result, I've come to terms with many of my own flaws and issues, discovering that I do indeed create my own reality, as do you. "Once in awhile, you get shown the light in the strangest of places, if you look at it right." - Jerry Garcia Stay positive, and encourage rather than discourage. Be happy and appreciate what you DO have, rather than focus on that which you do not, because like it or not, you get what you think and feel about the most. Love life and always be open to a new perspective, you may find that there are components of yourself that you never knew existed and find that much more to value within yourself. Worrying about the details of life is something I have been guilty of on occasion, I get so overwhelmed from the activities that I am so passionate about, my job, my school, and personal wealth, and friendships, my lover, yet the more I concern myself with the negative aspects of all the above, the more trouble and strife comes along. I am truly getting what I think about the most, and I am learning how to better shape my life through actions and thought so that I can grow into being what I was intended to be. A happy and prosperous human being, full of love and joy to share with the universe. "Worry never prevented the loss of anything except your own piece of mind." - ???

Who I'd like to meet: Real People with flaws and issues. You know who you are... Just look in the mirror. ------------------------------------- ------------------------------------- St Petersburg Yoga MONDAY 9:30-10:45 AM - Level II - Ashtanga Flow - Christine 5:30-7:00 PM - Level II & III - Ashtanga Flow (Internal Heat) Christine 7:30-8:45 PM Level I - Restorative Therapeutic - Chris TUESDAY 7:30-8:45 AM - Level II - Iyengar, Vinyasa - Chris 9:30-10:45 AM - Level I - Restorative Therapeutic - Chris 5:30-7:00 PM - Level II & III - Power, Iyengar - Chris 6:30-7:45 PM - Level I & II - Restorative Kriya - Julie 7:30-9:00 PM - Level II - (Internal Heat) Vinyasa Flow - Charlaina WEDNESDAY 9:30-10:45 AM - Level I & II - Restorative Kriya - Julie 11:30-12:30 AM - Level I - Fundamentals of Kriya Yoga - Julie 4:30-5:30 PM - Kids Yoga 7 Years & up - Jennifer 4:30-5:30 PM - Level I & II - Restorative Kriya - Julie 6:00-7:15 PM - Level I & II - Kripalu Centering - Linn 7:45-9:00 PM - Level II - Vinyasa Flow - Jennifer THURSDAY 7:30-8:45 AM - Level II - Iyengar, Vinyasa - Chris 9:30-10:45 AM - Level I & II - Restorative Kriya - Julie 4:30-5:30 PM - Level I -Fundamentals of Kriya Yoga - Julie 5:30-7:00 PM - Level II & III - Ashtanga Flow (Internal Heat) - Christine 6:30-7:45 PM - Level I & II - Restorative Kriya - Julie 7:30-8:45 PM - Level I - Restorative Therapeutic - Chris FRIDAY 9:30-10:45 AM - Level I - Restorative Therapeutic - Chris 11:30-12:30 PM - Level I & II - Vinyasa Flow - Jennifer 4:30-5:30 PM - Level I & II - Restorative Kriya - Julie 5:30-7:00 PM - Level II & III - Power, Iyengar - Chris SATURDAY 9:30-10:45 AM - Level I & II - Restorative Therapeutic - Chris 10:30-11:45 AM - Level II & III - (Internal Heat) Vinyasa Flow - Charlaina 11:30-12:45 PM - Level I & II - Restorative Kriya - Julie SUNDAY 8:15-9:00AM - All Levels - YOGA Meditation - Julie 9:30-10:45 AM - Level I & II - Kriya Restorative - Julie 5:30-7:30 PM - Level II & III - Power, Iyengar, Meditation - Chris Level I - Appropriate for beginner students, students with injuries, seniors, pre-natal, students who like a slower paced class. Level II - Appropriate for students with a bit of yoga experience or experienced students who like a bit more meditation, breathing practices and more advanced postures. Level IIIAppropriate for advanced students who wish to dive into more advanced yoga postures and practices and like a faster paced class. Click to zoom in on my visitor map! I have found the End-All to vindictive behavior. It's a principle that rings true... Every time. Namaste' or Namaskar ( in Hindi, from Sanskrit nama te) is a South Asian greeting originating in India, which is used when both hello and goodbye would be used in English. The meaning is quite different, however. Sanskrit na reflects a simple negation. Ma points to ego, referring "I" and "my". Thus nama means "bow, obeisance, reverential salutation, adoration to your inner truth", but not next to your ego. Te is the dative of the personal pronoun tvam, "you". A literal translation of nama te is thus "reverential salutation to your inner." It is commonly accompanied by a slight bow made with the hands pressed together, palms touching, in front of the chest. In a religious context this word can be taken to mean any of these: * The Spirit in me meets the same Spirit in you. * I greet that place where you and I are one. * I salute the Light of God in you. * I bow to the divine in you. * I recognize that within each of us is a place where Divinity dwells, and when we are in that place, we are One. * My higher energy salutes your higher energy. * the God in me sees and honors the god in you. * May the God within you, bless you In other words, it recognizes the equality of all, and pays honor to the sacredness and interconnection of all, as well as to the source of that interconnection. Namaskar is the term for such greetings, and is also used as a greeting itself.

1:12 PM - 3 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment